Episode 41 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where you are rewarded for knowing obscure answers. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi. I'm Steve and this is Ben and we're both housemates and students

-at the University of Sheffield.

-Couple number two.

Hi. I'm Laurence. This is my son Chris and we're from Preston.

-Couple number three.

-Hello. I'm Jan. This is my lovely daughter Sophie

and we're from Heathfield and Hellingly in East Sussex.

-And couple number four.

-Hello. I'm Keith and this is my friend

and work colleague Lee. I live near Cheltenham in Gloucestershire

-and Lee's from Bromley in Kent.

-And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Fresh from his unsuccessful attempt to get the phrase

"well done if you got that at home" trademarked and put onto sportswear

and wacky T-shirts, it's my Pointless friend,

-it's Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

We had a really unlucky jackpot round last time, didn't we? Sally and Ben.

-Not this Ben, another Ben.

-Ben B.

-Ben B.

And obviously, you have 60 seconds to get your three answers

in the jackpot round and if they'd had 70 seconds,

-they'd have walked away with the money.

-Oh, Ian McEwan!

Yeah, Sally said Burning Love as an Ian McEwan novel.

Then ten seconds after the time was up, she said, "It's Enduring Love.

"But loads of people would have said it."

-And no-one had said it at all, had they?

-Oh, that is tough.

Yeah, the jackpot creeping up again which is quite nice.

Well, thanks very much indeed, Richard. All our questions

on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer, an answer none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Sally and Ben, of course, didn't win the jackpot last time

which means we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off at £4,250.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK. In this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you,

but there is, of course, to be no conferring.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round

will be heading home. Our first category today is...

It's Literature. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Literary Animals. Richard.

-Yeah, it's fun, this one.

We're going to show you the names of seven animals that feature in works of literature on each pass.

You need to tell us what type of animal each is, please.

There's going to be 14 animals to guess at home.

See how many you can get.

OK. Thanks very much. So, we'd like you to tell us

what type of animal each of these characters is.

And here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Ben and Steve, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you are going to go first. Steve, welcome back.

-Steve, remind us what you do.

-We're both medical students

-at Sheffield University.

-Nearly finished. One more year to go.

-Yep.

And in your spare time, Steve, what are your...?

In my spare time, I enjoy music.

I'm a singer, guitarist, pianist. Quite a lot of things, I guess.

-A multi-instrumentalist.

-That's a good word, yeah.

OK. There we are. Now then, what about this board of animals?

I'm not a big reader. That's not what I do in my spare time.

-But I have read one book, I think.

-Really?!

-In my life, one work of fiction.

-What was that?

-It was Animal Farm by George Orwell.

-If you only ever read one book...

-OK.

-So, the one I'm going to go for is Napoleon and he was a pig.

Napoleon, a pig, says Steve. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said a pig for Napoleon.

It's right.

58

APPLAUSE

58 for Napoleon the pig.

It's based on Stalin, of course, Napoleon.

-In the French translation, he's not called Napoleon.

-I bet he's not!

-They call him Caesar.

-Do they?

-They do.

-Thank you. Now, Laurence.

Laurence. Laurence, welcome to Pointless. From Preston.

-What do you do up in Preston, Laurence?

-I'm retired now.

-What did you do?

-I used to work in the local hospital in the, er...

-Sorry, I've forgotten.

-LAUGHTER

-CHRIS WHISPERS:

-It was Estates!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

It's been a long time, Laurence.

This had better not be the neurological unit now.

LAUGHTER

-Which...? Where did you work?

-It was the Estates Department.

-I see. So, maintenance?

-Maintenance.

Good stuff. Now, what you make of all these animals from literature?

I know a few of them.

From the recesses of the memory and a long-time ago,

I remember reading Don Quixote

and I think Rocinante was his horse.

Horse, says Laurence, for "Roth-in-ant-tay."

I'm making that up. I don't know if that's the right way to say it at all. But Rocinante,

let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said horse.

It's right.

It's a great answer. Look at that, seven, Laurence.

APPLAUSE

Terrific answer, Laurence. Very well done. You can't remember what you did for a living,

but at least you can remember a horse in a book you read a long time ago.

-Yes.

-That's very impressive.

-There we are. So, now...

we come to you, Jan.

-Welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Jan?

-I'm retired now.

-And what did you do?

I used to work as a promotions manager at the local newspaper

which was dealing with competitions and campaigns.

-Oh, that's the nice side of local news!

-Absolutely.

Most of local newspapers are either people winning cups and things

-or competitions...

-Or flower shows.

-Or flower shows.

-Or it's slightly tragic events.

-Exactly.

-Usually. Usually.

-Yes.

OK. Now, what are you going to go for on this board?

Well, there was a couple I know but I think they're going to be

quite high. I think everything I know is going to be quite high,

but I'll go for Babar, an elephant.

Babar, an elephant says Jan. Let's see if that's right.

Let see how many people said an elephant.

It's right.

72

APPLAUSE

That's a big score there, Jan.

-72 for Babar the Elephant.

-Yeah, he also released as yoga guide.

-Yoga for Elephants, Babar.

-Really?!

-Yeah.

-Not really for elephants, though?

-Well, who else?

Of course it was for elephants. Who else would it be for?

He's Babar. He's an elephant.

Are you not listening at all to anything that's going on here?

Yeah. He released it for who? Who was meant to read this book?

Oh, I see what you mean. For elephants.

LAUGHTER

Now then, Lee. Lee, welcome. What do you do, Lee?

I work for the Ministry of Justice delivering IT.

Oh! So when you've finished installing a programme

and you press the last key, do you go, "Justice!"?

-It's not that exciting, Alexander, really.

-I bet it is!

-What do you do when you're not doing that, Lee?

-I do like to write.

I've written a couple of novels. Unpublished, unfortunately.

Listen, here's a tip from me. Would elephants enjoy your novels?

Erm, maybe not. Not my target market, to be honest.

OK. OK. Well, I'd say there's your first error.

What are you going to go for? You're the last person to have this board.

-All these literary animals unclaimed, four of them.

-Yes.

I'm pretty sure about two. One I think I know.

But in the interests of playing slightly safe,

I'm going to say Hedwig which I think is an owl.

Hedwig, an owl, says Lee.

72 was our highest score so far for Babar the Elephant.

Where do you imagine Hedwig the owl is going to end up?

-I don't know. 40s or 50s, I suspect.

-You suspect or you hope?

-Well, I hope.

-OK. Let's find out. Hedwig, an owl. Is that right

and if it is, let's see how many people said owl?

It's right.

There you are. You hoped right, Lee. Very well done indeed.

Very well done. 46. You guessed that absolutely right, Lee.

Exactly what you thought it would score

and it did. Hedwig is an owl.

Yeah. Hedwig is a female owl, but always been played by male owls

in the Harry Potter films cos male owls have that white plumage.

Been played by Gizmo, Kasper, Oops, Swoops, Elmo, Oh Oh and Bandit.

I have to say, Swoops, for me, always the better,

always the better of those ones. Watch any of the little...

-You can sometimes...

-Oh, yeah. Swoop's won the Oscar.

That's right, yeah.

-Let's go through the rest of this board. Moby Dick?

-Is a whale.

Is a whale. Big, big scorer, as you might expect. 93 points.

-Well done to our 100 there. Mr Jeremy Fisher?

-He's a frog.

He's a frog, yeah. I have to admit, I didn't know that. 27 points for frog.

He was in my blind spot, Jeremy Fisher. And do you know Chanticleer?

-Yeah, he's a cockerel.

-A cockerel in Chaucer's The Nun's Priest's Tale.

Four points for that. Cockerel the best answer on that board.

Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. Laurence...

Pat on the back to you, sir. That's a fantastic low score, 7.

Our only single-figure score, by a margin, actually.

Then we travel up to 46 where we find Lee and Keith.

58, Steve and Ben. And then 72, Jan and Sophie.

Sophie, we need a low score from you to keep you in the game.

Were going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, now, Keith, we're going to put seven more characters on the board

and here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Now we are looking for the types of animals in each case.

You are going to try

and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Keith, what do you do?

I work in IT for the Ministry Of Justice with Lee.

Do you work side-by-side?

-Yes. Lee was my boss for a couple of years.

-Good boss?

-Not bad.

I've had worse.

Very tactful. Very tactful. Keith, what do you do in your spare time?

I like to watch football. I like a lot of sports.

I'm an Arsenal football club fan.

LAUGHTER

So are five people in our audience! That's good.

I've also got a Jack Russell.

-I like to take her for long walks in the countryside.

-Good stuff.

There you are. You have a full clean board there. It's all yours.

Where are you going to jump in there?

Literature is not really my strong point. I must be honest.

There's a couple I know that I think will be quite high.

I'm going to go for Aslan, The Chronicles of Narnia, and say lion.

Lion. Lion, you say.

Well, the high scorers are Sophie and Jan on 72.

If you can score 25 or less you will avoid overtaking their high score.

Let's see if Aslan was a lion and if so let's see how many people said it. There's your red line.

Absolutely right.

66. That's quite a high score for Aslan. 112 is your total.

Some big scores here. Our 100 have done very well.

Aslan, it's actually a Turkish word meaning lion, Aslan.

-Thank you very much. Now, Sophie. Welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Where are you from?

-Hellingly, in East Sussex.

-I'd seen that written down.

-I've never heard it said. Hellingly.

-That's how I thought it was said.

-That's how we all say it locally.

-What do you do there, Sophie?

-I'm a stay-at-home mum to three children.

-Three children.

-What sort of ages are they?

-Seven, six and four.

I fill my time with a degree from the OU as well,

just to keep my mind active.

-That's fine. What are you doing?

-English Literature And Language.

LAUGHTER

Good for you. There you are on 72. If you can score 39 or less you are definitely in the next round.

-How scary is this board on a one to ten scale?

-I do know a few, well, most of them.

There's a couple up there I don't know,

or I can't remember.

I don't want to be too risky because of Mum's score.

Based on the lowest score for Beatrix Potter before

I'm going to say Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and a hedgehog.

Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, hedgehog. Jeremy Fisher scored 27.

Let's see how Mrs Tiggy-Winkle fares. Mrs Tiggy-Winkle.

There is your red line.

It's right.

44. 44 takes your total up to 116.

The tale of Mrs Tiggy-Winkle is not on the

OU English Literature syllabus I don't think.

-No.

-Tiggywinkles is now the world's busiest wildlife hospital.

Thanks very much indeed. Chris, this is marvellous news.

Thanks to Laurence's expert answer in the first pass

you are through to the next round. Even if you score 100 points you

won't overtake our high scorers of Sophie and Jan on 116.

Chris, welcome to the show. What do you do?

I work in business services for a government-at-arm's-length body.

Government... I like an "at-arm's-length-body."

That's the right kind of body isn't it? An at arm's-length body.

-Keep them at arm's-length.

-Good stuff. What do you do in your spare time?

I play football. I play for a Sunday League team.

Ashton-on-Ribble FC. Until very recently, the end of this season,

I was the all-time top goalscorer.

At the very end of this season one of my rivals scored a penalty

and I was relegated to second.

It was probably to do with the fact that the last six games of

the season I was actually playing in nets after our goalkeeper left.

I didn't have a chance to score in those games.

OK. Listen, next time if you actually bring your own trumpet you can...

LAUGHTER

-I've got a guitar.

-..You could give it a toot!

-Anyway, there we are. Chris, you are on seven.

-I am.

You are through already.

Why not have a punt at a nice low scoring answer on that board?

I'd love to take a punt

if I had any indication of what one of my more "punty" guesses would be.

But as I'd just like to get a right answer

on the board my first-time I'm going to say Captain Flint is a parrot.

OK, well let's see if Captain Flint is a parrot.

No red line for you, you're already through.

54.

61 is your total.

Well played, Chris. It was of course Long John Silver's macaw parrot.

-Thanks very much indeed. Ben, welcome back.

-Hello.

-In your fifth year at Sheffield studying medicine.

-Yes.

-What branch of medicine are you going to go into?

-Paediatrics.

Paediatrics. And in your spare time what do you do?

For the past two years at university I been quite heavily

involved in the Sheffield University Medical Society.

I've actually been president last year and that's the representative

body for all the Sheffield medical students, the big student society.

Good for you. Now you're on 58.

The high scorers are still Sophie and Jan on 116.

57 is your target. Do you think you could talk us through the board?

Black Beauty is a horse.

Rikki-TikkiTavi... And I'm racking my brain.

The Odyssey I've never read and heard little about.

I'm going to take a guess and go for Graymalkin

is a dog.

A dog. OK. A dog says Ben for Graymalkin. There's your red line.

If you get below that red line with dog you're in the next round.

No, it's not, Ben.

I'm afraid not a dog which means you score the maximum of 100 points

and that takes your total up to 158.

But a good guess.

Sorry, Ben, yeah. We haven't had a dog so far on either of these boards.

We haven't had a cat either.

And Graymalkin is a cat I'm afraid.

Would have scored you seven points.

And the dog on the board is Argos from The Odyssey.

That's a pointless answer. Well done if you said that. It's a terrific answer.

The answer that might have saved you, or that would have saved you,

is Rikki-Tikki-Tavi who is...

-A mongoose.

-A mongoose, yep. Would've scored 18.

And Black Beauty wouldn't have saved you. What do you think Black Beauty scored?

I would imagine he's somewhere at them the high 90s. 98.

Exactly 98. Well done.

-Don't think I've ever got that right.

-That's good, isn't it?

-600 episodes, you've finally got one.

-There you go.

But Argos the best answer there. Very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed. At the end of our first round,

the pair heading home is our returning pair.

Ben and Steve, started off so well

and then I'm sorry,

Steve with the only book he's ever read! It all seemed to be

falling into place very well, almost suspiciously well for you, Steve.

Anyway, you've done well. It's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm sorry it's been so brief this time.

Ben and Steve thanks very much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for round two.

So three pairs remain at the end of this round.

Obviously we'll have say goodbye to another pair.

Laurence and Chris, very well played in that round.

-Jan and Sophie, you were a little bit lucky there.

-Very.

Getting a little bit close. You were our high scorers.

But anyway it all evens out for Round Two.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for this round is Tennis.

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who's going to go second? And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We give 100 people 100 seconds to name as many players in the ATP

World Tour Finals since 2009 as they could.

As many players in the ATP World Tour Finals since 2009. Richard.

At the end of each tennis season the ATP hold their World Tour Finals.

It's been in London since 2009.

We are looking for any player who has qualified for either the singles or

the doubles tournament at the World Tour Finals from 2009 through

to 2012 please.

Any of the best players in the world in the singles or

doubles, 2009 to 2012. Best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Laurence, we come to you first.

-Do you follow tennis?

-Only on the television.

-Fair enough.

The name that's coming to me is Ferrer.

-Jose Ferrer.

-Jose Ferrer says Laurence.

Chris looking uncomfortable with that, but let's see if it's right.

Let's see how may people said Jose Ferrer.

Bad luck. Sorry, Laurence, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yes, sorry, Laurence, not on the board I'm afraid.

-Sophie.

-Yes.

-Sophie, is tennis good for you?

-No.

-Do you follow it at all?

-No sport at all.

Do you have a sort of seasonal interest in Wimbledon?

-Nope. I hate all sport.

-Do you know what tennis is?

-Just about.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to say literally the only name

I know which is going to make me look ridiculous, but...Andy Murray.

He is the only tennis player I know. Please don't tell me he's cricket.

LAUGHTER

OK. Andy Murray, says Sophie.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Andy Murray.

It's right of course.

59. That's a whole lot better than 100, Sophie. Very well done indeed.

Andy Murray.

Andy Murray, he's a tennis player.

LAUGHTER

Well, it's better than... it's more than you can say for Jose Ferrer!

Thank you! Now, Keith...?

Keith... Tennis...

-Tennis...

-Keith...

The name I had in my head was the name that Laurence had - Ferrer.

Erm, so when he said "Ferrer" I sighed a little inside

er, but I'm going to go with, er, David or Dav-id Ferrer.

OK. So Keith is coming up ferr-er with David Ferrer.

LAUGHTER

Let's see if that's right and if it is how many people said David Ferrer.

It's absolutely right, very well done.

Look at that, 2, very well done, Keith.

Very well done indeed and sort of well done to you Laurence, as well,

cos that would have been a great score

if you'd got the Christian name right.

Yeah, well played, Keith. That is, that's tough luck Laurence.

David Ferrer, the Spaniard, he's a wonderful player,

very short for a male tennis player.

5'9", so he's not a short guy but for a male tennis player...

To you, even at full stretch he's smaller than you.

Well, everybody looks roughly 5'8", 5'9" to me, however tall they are.

Thanks very much, we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Brilliant bit of poaching, there, Keith. Keith and Lee looking good on 2.

Up to 59, Sophie and Jan, looking pretty strong there

and then up to 100, yes, Laurence, bad luck.

But, Chris, I think you are quite good on this,

something tells me you will have a good answer,

so, who knows, it all hinges on how well Jan follows her tennis.

Good luck, we're going to go back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Lee...

Lee, you are 98 points behind the high scorers, so, a score of

97 or less will keep you from becoming the high scorers.

OK, erm...

I'm going to go for Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga says Lee. There is your red line,

get below that and your through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.

It's right.

Very well done, indeed, another 2.

Cracking scoring on that far podium there, a total of 4.

Well played, Lee, the Frenchman was actually the runner-up

in the 2011 World Tour Finals.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jan...

-Jan, here's the moment.

-Yes.

-Do you follow tennis?

-No.

This might be good news for Chris.

SHE CHUCKLES

Do you, do you follow it a little bit,

though, are you, sort of, aware of it.

Well, I'm aware of it but Sophie's taken my only answer.

-Ah.

-I'll have to go Assagee.

I can't think of anyone!

Assagee.

LAUGHTER

OK. Jan is going to say Assagee.

There is a...

LAUGHTER

There's your red line.

Er, let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

-Oh, bad luck.

-Oh, goodness me(!)

I'm sorry, Jan, that is music to Chris's ears

but I'm afraid it scores you, er, the maximum of 100 points.

Assagee.

Er, sorry, Jan, I think you're thinking of Andre Agassi.

LAUGHTER

This is a long time after his time, I'm afraid and that's not his name.

LAUGHTER

-Apart from that is was OK.

-Apart from that it was terrific(!)

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Chris...

-Hello.

-You're on 100, the high scorers are on 159,

you have to score 58 or less. I think you can do it.

Two of my answers I was going to give have both gone for 2.

Already.

David Ferrer and Wilfried Tsonga, erm,

I'm going to just have to go with Andy Roddick.

Andy Roddick says Chris. Andy Roddick. Here is your red line.

Get below that and you're through.

Is that right, though? And if it is, how many people said it?

It is right.

And you're through, very well done, Chris.

5. Another good score.

105 your total.

Well played, Chris, turned that round very nicely, yeah,

he took part in 2010, Andy Roddick.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Lot of the pointless were doubles players but there's

four singles players on this, as well.

These first two both had qualified for the singles,

it's for the top eight players in the world at the end of each season

and the top-eight ranked doubles pairs, as well.

Both of them qualified for the singles,

Jonny Marray, the Briton who did so well at the doubles at Wimbledon,

he was in the tournament last year.

All of those played in the doubles.

Robin Soderling, the Swede, he was in the singles,

as was Tomas Berdych

and Wesley Moodie also would have been a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Now, let's take a look at the biggest answers, Jan

and see if any of these names ring a bell to you.

But, virtually every single doubles player who's

qualified in the last three years was a pointless answer, so, well done if you got one of those obscure ones.

Thank you very much indeed. So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid it's

Jan and Sophie we have to send away

with a high score of 159. I'm sorry it was tennis.

-Never mind.

-That's the way the cookie crumbles,

sometimes it will be rounds that you don't know,

but you did pretty well. First round was OK.

You did know some of those, though, Jan?

-One...

-Rafael Nadal?

-..Federer.

-Federer, OK. Oh, well.

We'll look forward to seeing you again next time,

though, meantime, thanks very much for playing.

Thank you.

But for the remaining two pairs it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Keith and Lee, Chris and Laurence,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at...

We have to decide who's going to play for that

and to do that you're now going to go head-to-head,

the big difference being you can now confer. You can now chat

before your answers and the first pair to win two questions will be playing

for that jackpot. Well done, both pairs,

some great answers from you there. I think this is going to be

very, very close. Best of luck to both pairs,

let's play the head-to-head...

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Richard...

We're going to show you five stills from films that meet this

description, you just need to tell us the name of the film.

-Good luck.

-Thanks very much. OK, let's reveal our five stills

and here they come. We have got...

There we are...

five films set in or around water.

Keith and Lee, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

I think we're going to go E, which we think is The Abyss.

E - The Abyss.

E- The Abyss, say Keith and Lee.

Now, Chris and Laurence, can you talk us through the rest of the board?

Well, we knew E was The Abyss, well, we think we do.

A, I believe is Waterworld.

And D is Free Willy.

Unless my dad is inspired on B or C...?

It might be worth guessing on.

Yeah, we'll go for B. Jaws 2?

Yeah, we'll go Jaws 2 for B.

B, Jaws 2. OK, we have The Abyss and we have Jaws 2.

Keith and Lee said The Abyss, let's see if that's right and if it is,

how many people said The Abyss for E?

It's right...

Very well done indeed, 12, that's a great score.

Er, Chris and Laurence have said Jaws 2 for B.

Jaws 2 - let's see if that's right and if it is

let's see how many people said Jaws 2.

Oh, an incorrect answer, I'm afraid, which means, Keith and Lee,

very well done, you're up 1-0 after one question.

Not a bad punt, though, is it, Jaws 2?

-No.

-Not a bad one. I think, Keith and Lee, you might have known B as well.

-Open Water.

It is Open Water, yes. Best answer up there,

-would have scored 8 points.

-Is that the dive boat one where the boat disappears?

Yeah, it's the one... based on a true story

about tourists who were diving and the boat leaves...

-Do they get back in the end or not?

-Well, there was an Open Water 2

so I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

LAUGHTER

Let's take a look at the rest of this board.

A is Waterworld. You're right.

Too many points...

C, you'll kick yourself, it's the...

Too many points, though, too many points.

Annoying not to remember it but it wouldn't have saved you.

Thanks very much, so here comes your second question,

Chris and Laurence, you get to answer it first

but you have to win it to stay in the game. Best of luck, it concerns...

Going to show you five clues to facts about the US state of Hawaii.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

Thanks very much indeed, OK, let's reveal our five facts

and here they are...

Chris and Laurence will go first.

-WHISPERING:

-Do we know what the state capital is?

Honolulu.

THEY CONTINUE WHISPERING

Of the ones we know we're hoping that the best answer is

the Hawaiian word meaning "love" used as a greeting -

aloha.

Aloha say, Chris and Laurence.

Er, Keith and Lee, the rest of the board's yours, can you talk us through it?

We know a couple...

the state capital is Honolulu...

and the Hawaiian harbour, Pearl Harbor.

Not sure about one and three.

We'll go for the city which is the state capital which is Honolulu.

Honolulu say Keith and Lee. So we have aloha and Honolulu.

Chris and Laurence went aloha, let's see if that's right,

and if it is let's see how many people said that...

It is right...

Very well done, 15. Good answer.

Keith and Lee have gone for Honolulu. Is this a bit of a guess

or do you know that it's the state capital?

-Bit of a punt.

-Bit of a punt, but it seems likely, surely? Honolulu, let's see if it's right

and if it is how many people said it.

It is right...

50!

50 for Honolulu, well down, Chris and Laurence.

Back in the game after two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, there's actually only one answer

that would have beaten aloha and that is the top one.

As of 2013 it was the last state to join the United States,

it was in 1959.

Very well done if you said that at home, it's a terrific answer...

If you had to guess these are the ones you'd go for, probably...

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your deciding question,

whoever wins this one goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck for both pairs, it concerns...

We're going to show you the surnames of five artists who were

commissioned to create portraits of Queen Elizabeth II.

We need you give us their first names, please.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our five artists and here they are, we have got...

Now then...

Keith and Lee go first this time...

THEY WHISPER

Take a bit of a risk here, I think.

Going to go for...

-Cecil Beaton.

-Cecil Beaton say Keith and Lee.

Now then, Chris and Lawrence, that board is all yours.

-Take us through it.

-Wish we could.

We literally haven't got a clue on any of them.

However, we do have a backup plan.

Yes, I've got a new grandson called Daniel,

so we're going to have a guess at Daniel Blake.

Daniel Blake.

OK, so we have Cecil Beaton and Daniel Blake.

Let's see, Cecil Beaton - is that right? How many people said it?

It's right...

24 for Cecil Beaton.

Chris and Laurence have gone for Daniel Blake

or Sir Daniel Blake, to give him his proper name.

Let's see if that's right and if it is how many people said it...

Oh, bad luck!

Lovely name but, I'm afraid, an incorrect answer

which means, Keith and Lee, after three questions you are

through to the final 2-1.

Yeah, sorry, Chris and Laurence, who are the parents of that grandson?

-Andrew and Helen.

-Andrew and Helen - well, if they had had

the good grace and good sense to call their son Sir Peter

you would have just got through to the final...

Thank you very much. OK, so at the end of our head-to-head round

I'm afraid it's Chris and Laurence we'll be saying goodbye to

but a pretty stalwart performance, I'd say.

We will look forward to seeing you next time and on the strength of

your performance today I'm sure you'll do just as well,

but, thanks very much for playing, meanwhile, Chris and Laurence.

But for Keith and Lee it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Keith and Lee. You've fought off all

the other competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy,

so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and at the end

of today's show the jackpot stands at...

Well, you've done so well, very well indeed. Your first appearance on

Pointless, in fact, only appearance on Pointless.

Straight through to the finals, lovely low scoring all the way through.

As always, you kick this round off by choosing

a category and you have four options to choose from, and they are...

-Erm, World Sports Leagues.

-It's got to be. World Sports Leagues.

OK, World Sports Leagues it is, Richard.

I think if you're a sports fan it's a very nice one to come up!

I'll show you your three options now, we are looking for...

Any of the 19 teams there.

Best of luck at home, I know people love some of these lists and

best of luck in the studio as well, good luck, guys.

OK, thanks very much indeed. Now, as always, you've got up to

one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot - decent-sized jackpot, 4,250 quid -

all you need is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Now, remember,

the answers you give can come from any of these categories.

They can all come from one category or you can have one from each,

two from one, one from another, it's entirely up to you. Are you ready...?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock, there they are,

your time starts now...

I've been to one MLS game and that was Chicago Fire versus DC United.

OK.

-LA Chivas as well.

-That might be a good one to go for.

Premier League darts players...

being a Hereford lad we've got Terry "The Bull" Jenkins.

-Right!

-Might be a shout.

-PDC, yeah?

-PDC, yeah, he's played in the PDC for a few years,

he's just retired, there's people like Adrian Lewis, James Wade...

-Ice hockey teams?

-Toronto Maple Leafs...

-Philly Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins.

-Penguins might be a good shout.

Any more MLS teams? You've got, New York Red Bulls.

Fairly straightforward that...

Erm, Premier League darts players...

Phil "The Power" Taylor, Ray Barneveld.

-He's kind of...

-I like your first one, I've never heard of him.

-Yeah, he might be worth a shout.

-Ten seconds left.

-LA Chivas.

-LA Chivas. Terry Jenkins.

-Ice hockey team.

An ice hockey team. I don't know any at all, New York Rangers...

OK, that's your time up, I now need three answers from you,

what are you going to go for?

OK... from the MLS...

-OK.

-LA Chivas.

-LA Chivas.

-LA Chivas.

From the Premier League darts players...

-Terry Jenkins.

-Terry Jenkins.

And from the NHL ice hockey teams...

-going to go for the Pittsburgh Penguins.

-The Pittsburgh Penguins?

-Yes.

-Of those three which is your best shot at a pointless answer.

-Darts player!

-We think, probably,

-Terry "The Bull" Jenkins.

-Terry "The Bull" Jenkins. Put him last! OK.

What about your least likely?

-LA Chivas.

-LA Chivas we'll put first.

OK, let's put your answers up on the board and here they are...

Very, very best of luck.

Three decent answers up there on the board.

Your first answer was the LA Chivas. Now, if this is right and it is

pointless you will win £4,250. What are your plans for that, Keith?

I'd like to put some towards, erm,

a family holiday to France this year, it'd be nice.

And anything that's left, erm, go with the Barmy Army to Australia.

Very good indeed. Lee, how about you?

I've a brother who lives in New York and he's getting married

next year in Florida so I'll take my family over there

cos I think I'm going to be best man.

Excellent. So, let's find out for £4,250 -

was LA Chivas a Major League soccer team in 2013?

Yes, is the answer.

Now, if this goes all the way down to zero you leave here with £4,250.

It's taking us down into the teens, into single figures,

down it goes, still going down, look at that...!

Oh, that's exciting!

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done, that's a fantastic first answer.

Not a pointless answer but a brilliant score.

OK, your second answer was...

Again, this has to be correct and it has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot, so, for £4,250,

let's find out of the Pittsburgh Penguins were an NHL ice hockey team

in the 2012/2013 season...

Yes, is the answer.

So, your first answer of LA Chivas took us down to 2.

Your second answer is now taking us down through the teens,

into single figures, down it goes, is it going to go past 2?

Yes, it is...!

AUDIENCE GROANS

APPLAUSE

OK. I tell you what, it's all going very much in the right direction!

-LAUGHTER

-If we keep up on this line surely your next answer is pointless?

-Let's hope so.

-You put Terry Jenkins last for a reason,

you ranked it in that order.

There must have been a reason for that.

For £4,250 was Terry Jenkins a Premier League darts player

since 2010...?

It's right...

So, your first answer LA Chivas took us down to 2.

Your second answer, Pittsburgh Penguins took us down to 1.

Terry Jenkins now taking us past 2, past 1...

Yes, you've done it! Very well done, superb!

CHEERING

Well done, fantastic, very well played.

Oh, congratulations, Terry Jenkins was a pointless answer which means

you leave here with our jackpot of £4,250.

Very well done indeed.

CHEERING

That is brilliant, guys, very well done.

I apologise for the terrible categories we gave you there(!)

LAUGHTER That's a shocker.

During the 60 seconds you gave us about ten pointless answers in various different categories.

There's a lot of pointless answers here, people at home will have

done very well, especially on the darts one.

Let's take a look...

I think you mentioned DC United, as well, they were a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that.

The former governor of the Bank of England, Mervyn King.

LAUGHTER

There's some bigger names off that list for the darts.

You could have had Andy "The Hammer" Hamilton was pointless.

You could have had Gary Anderson, Michael van Gerwen was pointless.

Also, Robert Thornton and Wes Newton.

Along with Terry Jenkins, of course.

And...

There's lots of others on that list, Edmonton Oilers would have been pointless,

the Montreal Canadiens, San Jose Sharks...

all sorts of pointless answers, very well done if you got some of those at home

and congratulations, guys, that category fell very nicely indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Keith and Lee,

who go away with today's jackpot of...

Well done.

CHEERING

Join us next time when we'll putting some more obscure knowledge to the test.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard... Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.