Episode 55 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

And welcome to Pointless, the show where the aim of the game

is to score as few points as you can.

You do that by coming up with the answers no-one else could think of.

-Let's meet today's players.

-APPLAUSE

And couple number one?

Hi. I'm Naomi. This is my twin sister, Rachel. We're from Halifax.

-Couple number two?

-Hi. I'm Mags. And this is my good friend, Ann Marie.

-And we're from...

-BOTH:

-Nottinghamshire!

-Whoo!

HE LAUGHS

Yeah, well done.

I told them if they said it like that, they'd get a round of applause.

LAUGHTER

-Couple number three?

-Hi.

Dave and Bill - we're from Hartley in Kent,

and we've been friends for over 20 years.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi. I'm Tom. This is my girlfriend, Ro, and we're from Birmingham.

And these, ladies and gentlemen, are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, everyone.

We'll get to find out more about you all throughout the show, as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

In his spare time, he writes out versions of classic novels by hand,

just so he can dot every I and cross every T himself.

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Hiya. APPLAUSE

Hi, everyone. Hiya.

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-How are you? You look very well.

Yeah, thank you. I am, I think, well.

-You look very natty.

-Natty?

-You've got sort of like a "Man In Black" look about you.

-Hey. It's good. It's a new shirt.

-Is that a new shirt?

-Yeah, yeah. I went to the shirt shop.

-Did you?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Which shirt shop do you go to?

-Shirt Shop on Shirt Street.

-HE LAUGHS

-In Chertsey?

-In Chertsey, yeah.

LAUGHTER

It should be a cracking show today. We've got sort of a show of two halves today.

-We've got two returning pairs...

-Yeah.

-Both of whom made a bit of a boo-boo last time.

-Mm-hm.

-I think it's fair to say.

-Ann Marie had to name a country beginning with A and she said, "angora".

-Yeah.

-That's a jumper.

-It is a jumper.

And I wouldn't have even accepted Jersey, cos that's not a country.

But "angora" I definitely couldn't accept.

And Dave and Bill were also with us and got knocked out on a football question,

to their eternal regret, I think.

But two new pairs. Naomi and Rachel.

Have you noticed something about them?

I think they're quite similar.

-THEY LAUGH

-Yes, I have.

Identical twins. I have an identical twin.

Did you know that?

-That explains.

-He does half the shows.

Yeah. I thought that was weird.

-Yeah, whenever there's complaints or something, it's usually him.

-Yeah.

Cos the other guy is really nice. He's really friendly.

LAUGHTER

-Oh, no, but he doesn't have my intellect.

-Yeah.

That's why he and I get on so well, I think.

Oh, you think you get on with him?

-Oh, really?

-Oh, he's not a big... No, he's... I like you.

LAUGHTER I do like you.

-But he, not so much.

-Oh, really?

-Well, he's a good actor.

-Uh, we've also...

-We also have Ro and Tom.

-Yes.

And Ro and Tom, hold another record -

Joint Shortest-Named Contestants In Pointless History.

-Yeah, five letters between them.

-Five letters between them.

Ro, also, the first person in Pointless history

to have one of our initials as a name.

-Oh, yes, cos Xa never came on.

-No, exactly.

Xa, Ro.

Yeah, Ro. Very good.

Well, I'm looking forward to it. Shall we do it?

-Yeah, let's do it.

-Come on!

-Let's do it to it.

All questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answer those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer - an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Kevin and Lauren didn't win the jackpot last time,

which means we add another £1,000 to that.

So, today's jackpot starts off...

at £4,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, as I'm sure you all know,

the pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

And, remember, there is to be no conferring during the first two rounds.

OK, our first category today is...

pop music.

Pop music.

And you'll decide, in your pairs, who's going to go first and second.

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many...

Madonna singles with three-word titles as they could.

Madonna singles with three-word titles. Richard?

We're looking for the name of any Madonna single

that's been a UK Top 40 hit,

that has a title with three words in it, please.

Sounds terrifying - actually a lot of her biggest hits on this list.

Also some very obscure answers as well.

So, any Madonna Top 40 single with three words.

When a word's got an apostrophe, like I'll Be Back, for example,

which isn't one of her songs,

that would count...apostrophes, we would count those as one word.

So, any Madonna single with three-word titles. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed. Now, Naomi. Welcome to the show.

-Thanks.

-Good to have you here.

Now, who is the older between you and Rachel?

I'm the oldest by nine minutes.

-Nine minutes?

-Yeah.

-Have you ever been allowed to forget that, Rachel?

-No.

Apparently, she was supposed to be first

and I just shoved her out of the way at the last minute.

-That's the way to do it.

-I'm quite proud.

Do you think there'll be a bit of ESP going on today?

A little bit of twin advantage?

We have the same knowledge,

so, I don't think that would really help, unfortunately.

-We're both bad at the same things.

-OK.

What are you going to go for, Naomi?

I hope this is right. I think it's quite good. But it might be somebody else's.

I'm going to go for La Isla Bonita.

La Isla Bonita. Let's see if that is right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it. La Isla Bonita.

It's right.

Ooh, it's a good one. Look at that, Naomi. Well done. 20.

-APPLAUSE

-20 for La Isla Bonita.

RICHARD: Good start, Naomi. Well played.

It's tough on that first podium, when you're asked a question like this.

One where you've got to properly think about it. Yeah, number one single from 1987.

-It means The Beautiful Island, but you could probably work that out.

-I...I had a hunch.

I'll remember that.

-It's good. I'm glad you got it sorted out.

-Yeah, we sorted that. It's fine.

LAUGHTER RICHARD: Yeah, lovely.

Thanks very much. Now, Ann Marie.

-Yes.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

Remind us what happened last time, Ann Marie. It was round one.

-I fluffed it. What can I say?

-Has Mags let you forget about that?

-No.

-Oh, I forgive her.

That's good. That's nice.

How do you two know each other?

We met in an amateur dramatics group.

-And how long ago was that?

-Four or five years.

-Four or five years.

How many productions have you done together now?

About four, five.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-So, one a year.

That sounds about right. Yeah.

-Are you working on one at the moment?

-We are, yes.

-What is it?

We are both, singularly,

taking part in one of Alan Bennett's Talking Heads.

Obviously, it will be singular, I'm sure, too.

So, they're monologues, but they'll be performed on the same night

as part of the same programme.

Good stuff. OK, now, Ann Marie, how good is your Madonna knowledge?

Well, I think, as it's the first round,

I might go for one that I'm certain...I think,

was three words,

which is Like A Prayer.

Like A Prayer. OK, let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Like A Prayer.

It's right.

20 is what you want to beat.

37. Not bad, though.

APPLAUSE

-Not bad. Like A Prayer, Richard.

-Well played, Ann Marie.

It was her sixth number one single of the '80s. She didn't do badly in the '90s either and the noughties.

-Now, then, Dave, welcome back.

-DAVE:

-Cheers.

Dave, good to have you here.

Now, of course, it wasn't you who, ahem, gave the incorrect answer, was it, in round two last time?

-No, it wasn't, but I have forgiven him.

-You have?

-Yeah.

-That's good.

Now, Dave, what are your hobbies?

-Uh, fly fishing.

-Fly fishing.

-Where do you do your fly fishing?

-Uh, all over...all over the world.

Oh, do you? You do it properly?

Yeah, we go all over Kent, all over Sussex, we've been to Mexico.

Hang on! You need a passport for Sussex!

Yeah, yeah. No, Mexico, Florida.

-Yeah.

-I'm a beekeeper, as well.

That's fun. How long have you done that for?

About two and a half, three years now.

-Is it quite easy, taking up beekeeping?

-Uh, yeah.

-Really? You just...

-Gives me a buzz.

-Well done.

-LAUGHTER

It's very technical. It's a lot more technical than you'd think.

-How many have you got?

-I haven't counted them.

LAUGHTER

Roughly, how many have you got, Dave?

-Um...

-How many hives?

-Six.

-Six hives?

-And I've just put one round at Bill's.

-Does he know?

-Yeah.

-Just.

-Uh, Dave...

-How well do you know your Madonna?

-Not...not very well.

-OK.

-I can only remember one.

-Has it got a three-word title?

-Yeah.

-Good.

-Thank God for that!

-Like A Virgin.

-Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Like A Virgin.

79!

APPLAUSE

79 for Like A Virgin.

-Yeah, not a number one single, actually, Like A Virgin.

-Really?

-Number three single. Yeah.

Jim Broadbent does a version of it in Moulin Rouge as well.

-Slightly different to Madonna's version.

-Yes.

-Ro?

-Hello.

Welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

-Where are you from, Ro?

-Um, I'm from Birmingham.

And what do you do, Ro?

I work at a school, as an art technician.

That's the best kind of art to do, isn't it? The technician bit.

Yeah, it's really creative

and I get to help the kids out, help the teachers out

and do lots of creative, fun things as well.

Very good - and what do you get up to when you're not doing art technician stuff?

Um, I like sewing.

-I actually made this dress.

-Did you really?

-Yeah.

That's not just sewing. That's a great... That's designing!

-Thank you so much.

-The sewing was just the... that was just the last bit.

Great dress. Now, how did you and Tom meet?

We actually met at Warwick Castle,

where we both worked as peasants.

I was a peasant wench and he was a stable boy. So, uh...

-Oi, oi!

-Yeah.

So, stable boy. What was your job as stable boy, Tom? Apart from...

-The obvious.

-..to seduce the wench.

-Yeah, well, that's it.

So, whilst we were working at the castle, I was working with the jousting team

and they put on a jousting show.

So, although I was in the show, I was more of a stage hand in the show, helping out,

cos the knights, they tend to have a tantrum if they don't win

and they throw their weapons all over the place.

So, it's my job to clean up after them and the horses.

-You make it sound such fun, Tom!

-LAUGHTER

It is. No, I make it sound like hard work, but it's not.

-And it's a brilliant laugh.

-Excellent.

-And look - look what came of it.

-Yeah, a beautiful romance.

-Aw! Fantastic.

-Now, then, Ro. Madonna?

-Yeah, OK.

Um, all of the ones that I wanted have gone.

Um, but... And this is a wild, wild guess

because I think these words are in the song.

So, I'm going to say Ray Of Light.

Ray Of Light. What do you think, Tom?

-That's better than what I was thinking of.

-OK, yep, Ray Of Light.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Ray Of Light.

It's right. Well done, Ro.

Ooh, down it goes.

14. Best score so far.

APPLAUSE

-14 for Ray Of Light.

-Great work, Ro. Well played.

-Number two single from 1998.

-Thank you very much, indeed, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores as they stand.

Best score of that pass was yours, Ro.

Ro and Tom looking pretty strong on 14.

Then, up to 20, where we find Naomi and Rachel.

Up to 37, where Ann Marie and Mags currently reside.

And then, up to 79, where it's Dave and Bill.

Bill, we need a really low score from you

if you're to stay in the game.

We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, we're looking for Madonna singles with three-words titles.

Tom, you're on 14. This is a fantastic position to be in.

The high scorers, on 79, are Bill and Dave.

If you can score 64 or less,

you step through to the next round.

So, Tom, my brother once went to a jousting thing at Warwick Castle.

He took his family.

And...and they decided he was a slave.

So, he was brought out, and he had to spend all afternoon doing all the things that you said,

and they called him "Slave" and his kids all laughed at him.

At least I get called "Mr Slave".

He didn't get any of that. None of that preferential treatment.

-What do you do, Tom?

-I've just started a PhD programme up in Sheffield.

-In what? On what?

-Into renewable energy, actually, yes.

So, biomass gasification.

So, looking to produce hydrogen from wood and from coal.

So, Tom, what are you going to go for?

Uh, well, this is very tough.

I only had one or two and they've already been said.

Now, I remember a music video of her dressed up as a cowboy,

so I'm going to have a complete guess

and say, Ride, Cowboy, Ride.

LAUGHTER

I take it that's not a good sign.

Oh!

I think that's a look of ecstasy on Bill's face, I think.

Um, there is your red line.

If you get below that red line with Ride, Cowboy, Ride,

I'll be amazed.

But who knows? Let's see if it...

It may still be enough to get you through. You never know.

Uh, Ride, Cowboy, Ride - is it right? How many people said it?

Ah!

Not a Madonna single, as it turns out,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to 114, Tom.

You might still go through, thanks to Ro's excellent answer in the first pass.

It's a wrong answer, but it's a good wrong answer, in its own way, isn't it?

Now, Bill?

There you are on 79. The high scorers are Tom and Ro on 114.

34 or less gets you through to the next round.

How are we feeling, Bill?

Well, I've got two. Um, well, I've got one...

LAUGHTER

Before we do that, I want to quickly ask you about this hive of bees that Dave left in your garden.

-Yes, indeed.

-How are they doing?

They're doing very well. Dave's a very astute and...

-Have you got one of the smoky things?

-I borrow Dave's.

-Oh, really?

-They've gone into the end of the season.

So, we haven't had to do very much with them.

-OK.

-But come the spring, I've already invested in the beekeeper's...

-You've got the suit.

-Yes.

-Very good. Very important.

-Where do you go to get a beekeeper's suit?

-It's called the internet.

I was going to say. Yeah.

-Hope you didn't pay too much. You don't want to get stung, do you?

-Oh, no.

GROANING AND LAUGHTER

OK, Bill, Madonna?

Yeah, as I say, um, I've got a definite

and there's one which I thought was four words,

but maybe the first is in parentheses.

But I'm going to go for the definite, which is Papa Don't Preach.

Papa Don't Preach, says Bill.

OK, here is your red line. 34, that represents.

If you get below that with Papa Don't Preach, you're in round two.

Let's find out if it's right and, if it is, how many people said Papa Don't Preach.

It's absolutely right.

Oh-eee!

-41!.

-APPLAUSE

Tom and Ro, massive relief for them.

They are through to the next round.

You are our new high scorers, Bill and Dave, on 120.

Pretty good going, though, Bill. Very well played.

Another number one single from 1986.

It was from the True Blue album which sold 19 million copies worldwide.

That's a few. Now, Mags...

-Welcome back to the show.

-Thank you.

Remind us what you do, Mags?

Well, I'm a retired teacher

and, uh, I like to socialise

and amateur dramatics, singing.

And I've recently taken up knitting.

-Have you?

-Which is quite a bit of fun.

And what sort of things have you been knitting?

We started on something easy

and, actually, um, the first things we've been knitting is cake.

LAUGHTER

Cos it's low-calorie, of course.

And, uh...and it's fun.

So, hang on - either I just... I just zoned out there...

-You've been knitting cake?

-Cake. Yes, I actually brought you some.

Knitted cake.

-I know it won't have been eaten because you can't eat it...

-OK.

-That's a relief. Yes. You've been knitting cake...

-It looks quite...

-No, that sounds fun.

-It's fun. It's a lot of fun, yeah.

Very good. And have you moved on to garments yet?

Uh, sandwiches.

LAUGHTER

OK. Madonna singles.

Should we go for...? How are you feeling about this, Mags?

Uh, I've sort of made one up,

but I know two of the words are correct and I sort of slipped an extra word in to make it up to...

LAUGHTER

You never know!

And I'm going to say A Material Girl.

Ahh...

HE LAUGHS

-There could be an A that she's not pronouncing in the song.

-Yeah, OK.

Who knows? Who knows? There's your red line.

If you get below that red line, Mags, with A Material Girl, um...

..it'd be great.

But let's find out. A Material Girl. Is it right?

If it is, how many people said it?

Oh, no!

Bad luck. A Material Girl - an incorrect answer.

Takes your total up to 137, having scored you 100 points, the maximum score there.

-Richard?

-Sorry, Mags. A valiant attempt.

She does sing "a material girl" in the song.

But it's just Material Girl, I'm afraid. A number three hit.

-Um, Rachel?

-Hi.

-Rachel, here's good news.

-You're through.

-Yeah.

-You're through.

Now, then, Rachel, what do you do?

I'm also studying for a PhD,

but it's not quite as impressive, nor as important as...

Hang...hang on. Don't say that. What is it?

I'm studying for a PhD in contemporary Austrian cinema.

LAUGHTER

In its way, probably as good for mankind.

-Well, no-one else is doing it.

-Someone's got to do it, yeah.

Um, when did you get into contemporary Austrian cinema?

Well, I did a degree in German,

and then I ended up doing my undergraduate dissertation in holocaust films,

and then that interest, it just developed from there, really.

Now, then, Rachel, Madonna? You can have a bit of fun here because...

-I...

-..you are through, come what may.

I have a feeling you might have a really good answer.

Um, it could be incorrect,

but the ones I know have gone.

But then one just popped up in my head,

and I'm hoping it's right.

I think she did a Bond one called Die Another Day.

What a great answer that might be. Die Another Day.

No red line for you as you're already through.

But let's see if Die Another Day is right and how many people said it.

It's absolutely right.

14 was our lowest score, with Ray Of Light.

Die Another Day passes that comfortably, down to 2. Look at that!

-APPLAUSE

-Fantastic score, Rachel. 22.

You're the only scorers in two figures.

And very impressively in two figures two. 22 - lovely low total.

That's a terrific answer, Rachel. Well done. From the 2002 Bond film of the same name.

Now, I know people at home will have a few of the more obscure ones on this list.

There's still a few songs you'll know on this list.

But there's two pointless answers and they are...

Nothing Really Matters a top ten hit.

Both of those pointless - well done if you said that.

I'll take you through some of the other low scorers.

Causing A Commotion would have scored you one point

Die Another Day, the next best answer,

so it's one of the best answers there.

Let's take a look at the top three - we've seen all three of them.

Ann Marie gave us the third biggest answer, Like A Prayer, with 37.

Dave and Bill, still in the round, but you did the double whammy.

You gave us the top two answers. Very well done.

Bill, you gave us Papa Don't Preach.

That scored you, as you know, 41.

And up the top we've already heard Like A Virgin, 79.

Thanks very much, indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of the first round,

I'm afraid the pair heading home with our high score of 137

is Mags and Ann Marie.

Oh, it's your second first-round exit as well.

I'm so sorry to say goodbye to you so soon.

Lovely having you back on the show. Thank you for coming on and playing.

-Mags and Ann Marie - lovely contestants.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Well, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

So, three pairs remain.

We've got one pair very clear leaders at the end of that -

Naomi and Rachel, fabulous low score of 22.

Very, very well done.

Now, Dave and Bill, two correct answers,

and you were still beaten by Ride, Cowboy, Ride, there.

-LAUGHTER

-On the far podium.

Best of luck in this round, Tom.

I think time for you to take over some of the heavy lifting, I'd say.

Our category for round two is...

..food and drink.

Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

.."Q" foods.

-"Q" foods, Richard.

-Yes.

On each pass, we're going to give you six clues to foodstuffs or drinks

which either start with Q or contain the letter Q.

You just need to tell us what that food or drink is.

There'll be six on each pass, there'll be 12 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed.

So we are looking for food and drink whose names contain the letter Q.

And here is our first board of six.

HE READS

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS

OK. There we are.

Six foodstuffs or "drinkstuffs" that contain the letter Q. Naomi?

I'm struggling a little bit.

I thought, with food and drink, I'd be really good.

Um, but I think I only know two.

I'll have to go for the small, Asian citrus fruit

and hope that it's a kumquat.

Kumquat, says Namoi.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said kumquat.

It's right.

Oh, it's a good one! 17 there, Naomi. Well done, indeed.

APPLAUSE

Another strong start from the first podium. Kumquat.

Yeah, kumquat comes from the Cantonese for "gold orange".

Thanks very much. Now, uh, Dave?

Dave, food and drink containing a Q.

Cocktail of rum, lime juice and sugar - daiquiri.

A daiquiri, says Dave. Ooh, I like the sound of that.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said daiquiri.

It's right.

17 is what you want to beat, Dave.

And you do! It's 8!

Very well done, indeed. Daiquiri. Good work.

APPLAUSE

RICHARD: Well played, Dave.

Named after a rum-producing town in Cuba. Very good answer.

The man who was supposed to have come up with it was called Jennings Cox.

-He came up with the daiquiri?

-Yeah, it's credited to him.

He was an American engineer.

Uh, now, then, the board is all yours, Tom.

Well, the seafood is going to be squid.

The fruit cordial is going to be squash.

The savoury egg custard, that's a quiche.

And the top one, I would guess at butternut squash.

I'm going to go for the seafood known as squid.

OK, the seafood sometimes known as calamari. Squid, says Tom.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said squid.

Yeah, that's a high score, there, Tom.

-APPLAUSE

-71.

That is a big score, isn't it?

It's not Ride, Cowboy, Ride-size score, but it is a pretty big score.

Um, actually should have gone for either of the other ones you knew.

Squash - you were absolutely right, the fruit cordial -

that would have scored you 46 points.

And the savoury egg custard, it was a quiche,

32 points, would have been even better.

And the yellow, pear-shaped fruit, it's not a butternut squash.

-ALEXANDER:

-Quince, isn't it?

-It is a quince. Quite a big scorer, actually.

Would have scored you 40 points.

So, the best two scores on that board were daiquiri and kumquat,

which we had on our first two podiums - well played.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

Eight the best score of that pass, Dave.

Very well done with daiquiri there.

Up to 17, where Naomi and Rachel are.

Then up to 71, Tom and Ro. Now, Ro?

You'll get first pick of the next board,

so, use it carefully and try and find a really, really low-scoring answer, if you can.

It might just be enough to keep you in the game. Best of luck.

We'll come back down the line. Second players, please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more foodstuffs on the board,

and here they are.

-We have got...

-HE READS

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS

There we are - Six foodstuffs or drinks,

all of them containing the letter Q.

Ro, you're the high scorers on 71.

-So, we need a low score, remember.

-OK.

Um...

I think I'm going to take a bit of a risk.

I'm going to go for

classic French dish of chicken braised in red wine

and say coq du vin.

Coq du vin. OK. No red line for you as you are the high scorers.

Let's see if coq du vin is right.

-Ohhh!

-No!

I'm sorry, Ro. I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points. Takes your total up to 171.

-Richard?

-Yes, sorry, Ro.

I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass, in case anyone else wants to have a go at that question.

Thanks very much, indeed. Now, Bill...

That's taken the pressure off.

I think I'll go for something

which, uh, Dave and I have allegedly sampled a few times,

which is a Mexican sprit

called tequila.

-Allegedly? You have no memory at all.

-No.

Not before 10 o'clock in the morning, anyway.

Tequila, says Bill.

There you are, on eight. No red line for you as you're already through.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said tequila.

He's right.

-70.

-Wow.

-APPLAUSE

That scores you 70, which takes your total up to 78.

Yeah, a big score, isn't it, for tequila?

Uh, everyone likes a bit of tequila, don't they, lads, I think is the truth.

-Now, then, Rachel, you're through.

-Yeah.

-You're through.

You've also got the board to play with,

so you can talk us through it, if you like.

I'm doing all right with them, I think. I'm good with food and drink.

Um, don't know the top one.

Um, I think the classic French dish of chicken braised in red wine

may be coq au vin, instead of du vin, maybe.

I don't know.

Thick soup often made with lobster I think is bisque.

I think bunch of mixed herbs added to soup or stews

is something like a "bo-kay" or bouquet.

I'm going to go for the blue cheese made from sheep's milk

and aged in limestone caverns and take a guess at Roquefort.

OK, Roquefort, you're going to say, for the blue cheese aged in limestone caverns.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

No red line for you as you are already through.

Absolutely right.

Nine!

You've done it again, nine!

Takes it up to 26.

Roquefort, Rachel, well done. It's actually the lowest score on the board as well.

A very, very good answer. Just take you through the rest of these. It beats the top one.

-Do you know the top one?

-Quinoa.

-Quinoa is right.

16 points. There you go.

You're right, the classic French dish, it is coq au vin, I'm afraid.

And I think, cos it's so well known, we couldn't accept coq du vin. I'm sorry about that.

Would have scored 38 points, so would have seen you knocked out anyway.

Um, the thick soup, you're right, is a "beesk" or a bisque.

-That would have scored you 37 points. And do you know the bunch of mixed herbs?

-Bouquet garni.

Bouquet garni - absolutely right. And that would have scored 26 points.

Very well done if you got all of those at home.

Thanks very much, indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair heading home with our high score of 171,

Ro and Tom.

Oh, you were one letter away.

I think we had the wrong round, cos he speaks fluent French.

So, I'm in loads of trouble now.

Well, you've each scored 100 points. So, there you are.

That balances up. Well, it's been lovely having you on the show. See you again next time.

Look forward to that very much, indeed. Ro and Tom, thanks a lot for playing.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, it's time for the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Naomi and Rachel, Dave and Bill.

You're one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at...

£4,000.

APPLAUSE

So, now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and go through to the Pointless Final.

So, you're going to go head-to-head.

This time, you are allowed to confer.

And the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

actors in Hitchcock films.

Actors in Hitchcock films, Richard.

We're going to show you five stills, now, from films directed by Alfred Hitchcock.

You just need to tell us the name of the actor you see in each still, please. The very best of luck.

OK. Thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five stills, and here they come. We have got...

There we are - five stills from five Hitchcock films.

Naomi and Rachel, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

SHE WHISPERS

-NAOMI:

-I don't know any.

THEY WHISPER

-RACHEL:

-We're not good at Hitchcock. I'm just going to go...

I know that Anthony Perkins was in Psycho and I know E's from Psycho,

but I'm just going to go C, Anthony Perkins.

C, Anthony Perkins, say Naomi and Rachel. C, Anthony Perkins.

Dave and Bill?

Do you want to talk us through the board?

-BILL:

-B is Sean Connery.

I might disagree with the girls on C.

D is Tippi Hedren.

-DAVE:

-E is, uh...

-Uh, Janet Leigh.

-Janet Leigh.

Is it Janet Leigh?

-Jamie Lee Curtis's mum.

-I don't think it's Janet.

As there's a disagreement about her first name, let's go for Tippi Hedren.

-Tippi Hedren. And which one are you saying is that?

-D.

-D.

D, Tippi Hedren.

OK, so, Naomi and Rachel have gone for Anthony Perkins.

-You're not entirely confident, are you?

-Not at all.

-Let's find out if it's right.

It could still be. Let's find out if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many people say Anthony Perkins.

Ooh! No, bad luck. Bad luck. Not Anthony Perkins.

Which means, Dave and Bill, you merely have to be correct with Tippi Hedren.

Tippi Hedren, of course, you've said is D.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

But "Is it right?" is the key one.

Yes, it is. Very well done.

-24.

-APPLAUSE

Nicely done, Dave and Bill. You've broken their serve.

After one question, you're up one-nil.

Yeah, very well played. Tippi Hedren from The Birds there.

And, A, Kim Novak, from Vertigo.

She would have scored you nine points. Would have been a very good answer.

Now, B you thought was Sean Connery.

-Xander, who do you think that is?

-He looks like Sean Connery but...

-It is Sean Connery.

-Is it?!

Yeah, he was in Marnie. It would have been a big score, though.

A lot of people at home got it as well.

-Would have scored you 69 points.

-There you are.

Now, C - not Anthony Perkins. Perfectly good guess. Guys, do you know that one?

Gregory Peck.

It is Gregory Peck in Spellbound, yes.

He would have scored you 32 points.

And E, I think you knew.

You didn't go for it cos you went for Tippi Hedren -

Janet Leigh from Psycho.

She would have scored you 29.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

And, Dave and Bill, you get to go first this time.

It concerns...

Brazil.

Richard?

We're going to show you five clues now to facts about Brazil and Brazilians,

um, if you know what I mean?

We would like you to give us... LAUGHTER

Come on. Come on, everyone...

It's tea time. We'd like you to give us the most obscure answer, please. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed. OK, let's reveal our five clues to facts about Brazil and Brazilians.

And here they come. We have got...

HE READS

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS

Now, then, Dave and Bill,

you go first this time.

THEY WHISPER INDISTINCTLY

-BILL:

-Formula One.

-DAVE:

-You want to go Formula One?

-Yeah.

We'll go or the three-time Formula One champion, "A-y-rton" Senna.

Ooh, I like "A-y-rton" Senna.

"A-y-rton" Senna, say Dave and Bill.

Uh, Naomi and Rachel, what are you going to go for?

Do you want to talk us through the board?

We know that the country's official language is Portuguese.

-RACHEL:

-And the city in which Copacabana Beach is located, you think it's Rio, don't you?

Just cos it's one of the only cities in Brazil that I know.

So, I'd go Portuguese.

-Portuguese - country's official language.

-OK.

Country's official language, Portuguese.

So, we have Ayrton Senna and we have Portuguese.

Dave and Bill have said Ayrton Senna,

the three-time Formula One champion and subject of the 2010 documentary.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said Ayrton Senna.

It's right.

-37.

-APPLAUSE

What do we think, Dave and Bill?

-37. Could have gone lower, couldn't it?

-Yeah.

Is that going to beat Portuguese?

Naomi and Rachel have said Portuguese is the official language.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said Portuguese.

It's right.

To keep you in the game, it's got to go lower than 37.

-Ooh, 41!

-Oh, what?!

Ooh!

-APPLAUSE

-41.

Very well done, Dave and Bill.

You are through to the final in straight sets.

-After two questions, you're through two-nil.

-RICHARD: Unlucky, Naomi and Rachel.

The other answer you were going to go for, Copacabana Beach,

would have just made it worse cos it would have scored 39 points.

It would have been even closer.

Number of World Cups they've won - does anyone know that?

-Five.

-Five times is right. Yeah.

That would have been a good score. Would have scored you 16 points.

And the best answer on the board,

the singer famed for The Girl From Ipanema?

-Astrud Gilberto.

-Astrud Gilberto. Absolutely.

That would have scored you one point,

so terrifically well done if you got that at home.

Thank you very much, indeed.

So, I'm afraid, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, Naomi and Rachel,

you've been fantastic the whole way through the show. Low score after low score.

And then you come into the head-to-head round, I'm afraid we gave you Hitchcock films,

which wasn't possibly your favourite category.

Anyway, we'll see you again next time,

and on the evidence of your performance today,

we can be sure you'll do as well, if not better.

Thanks very much for playing. Naomi and Rachel.

APPLAUSE

But for Dave and Bill, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Dave and Bill.

You fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £4,000.

-There we are.

-APPLAUSE

Oh, we so nearly came unstuck

in that first Madonna round.

Oh! Just imagine!

Oh, but then you clawed it back, you clawed it back, with the food and drink with Q.

You went with tequila. And then two-nil in the head-to-head, which was fantastic,

with your Hitchcock stars and your Brazil and Brazilians question.

So, very, very well done.

Now, as always, you need to choose a category for this final round. And your choices are...

-Veteran crooners.

-Veteran crooners.

-Veteran crooners it is. OK, that's what you've gone for. Richard?

We are looking for UK top 40 singles by any of the three following artists.

So, any UK top 40 single up to the end of October 2013, by...

So, any UK top 40 single by...

Very best of luck, guys, and best of luck at home.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is just one pointless answer.

Now, remember, the answers you provide can come from any of these three categories.

Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-BILL:

-So, Perry Como - Magic Moments?

-Yep.

-What Did Delaware, I think.

-Yeah.

Um, And I Love You So.

-I'm glad we picked this category.

-Um...

-Tony Bennett?

-Tony Bennett? San Francisco's the only...

-I Left My Heart In San Francisco.

-I Left My Heart In San Francisco.

Yeah. Frankie Vaughan.

# Friends... # No?

-LAUGHTER

-Something like that, wasn't it?

He may have sung something called Black Gold.

So...

-Frankie Vaughan.

-Frankie Vaughan.

He may have sung something called Black Gold.

I don't think we're going to get any closer than that, Alexander.

-OK, are you happy to stop the clock, then?

-Yeah.

OK. We'll stop the clock. Now, give me your three answers.

So, we're going to go for...

..What Did Delaware?

What Did Delaware?

-By Perry Como.

-By Perry Como.

And I Love You So.

-And I Love You So by...

-By Perry Como.

-..Perry Como.

And this is not sure at all - Black Gold by Frankie Vaughan.

Black Gold by Frankie Vaughan.

Now, of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a Pointless answer?

-Delaware.

-What Did Delaware?

-What Did Delaware, we'll put last.

-Which is your least likely to be Pointless?

-Black Gold. I'm not sure it's right.

Black Gold by Frankie Vaughan goes first. Let's pop those answers on the board.

And here they are. We have got...

Well, three perfectly plausible-looking answers up there on the board.

Who's to say one of them mightn't be pointless?

And if it were, Dave, you'd be leaving with £4,000 between you. What would you do with your share?

Holiday, booked, Florida.

-With the rods?

-With the rods.

Bill?

I think our wives put with quite a lot with us, with our fishing trips,

so I think, uh, trip to the spa or something like that.

Very good. OK, well, very, very best of luck.

Remember, we're looking for UK top 40 singles by Perry Como,

Tony Bennett and Frankie Vaughan.

Now, Black Gold was your least confident answer,

but you thought it might be one of those sneaky ones that gets in there and ends up being pointless.

Remember, you only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £4,000.

So, Black Gold. Let's see.

How many people thought that was a Frankie Vaughan single?

Let's see if it's correct.

Ooh, no! Bad luck!

An incorrect answer. So, unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot of £4,000.

So, remember, we were looking for singles by Perry Como, Tony Bennett and Frankie Vaughan.

Your next answer was And I Love You So.

Let's find out if that's a correct answer

and if it is, let's see how many people remembered I Love You So

as a Perry Como single.

For £4,000.

It's right.

Well, your first answer was an incorrect answer,

so, obviously, that scored 100 points.

Down you go. Much better this time.

Into the teens, into single figures, down it goes still...

Oh, yes, you've done it! Very well done, indeed!

Very well done indeed.

Fantastic. There we go.

There's a fishing trip. A gold-plated bee smoker there.

-Oh, fantastic.

-APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Dave and Bill.

And I Love You So. You were even humming it.

-I was singing it.

-He was singing it.

It was a pointless answer, which means you go home with that jackpot of £4,000.

Very, very well done, indeed, Dave and Bill.

APPLAUSE

-That was brilliant, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

Well played, Dave and Bill. Those other two answers, I'll just go through them.

Black Gold, I think you were thinking of The Ballad of Black Gold

or Blowin' Wild - the Ballad of Black Gold, by Frankie Lane.

Delaware I wouldn't have given you. The song is Delaware.

-Oh.

-Oh.

-It's all sorts of puns on US states.

It would have scored you one point anyway, so it wouldn't have won you the money.

Let's look at some pointless answers in each category for people at home.

There's And I Love You So, number three hit in 1973.

These other three, all top ten singles as well -

For The Good Times, Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom)...

-I would have said that, wouldn't you?

-Mm-hm.

And It's Impossible.

Let's look at the Tony Bennett top 40 singles.

Close Your Eyes and If I Ruled The World would have won you the money,

The Very Thought Of You and Till.

All of those were big hits and would have won you the money.

And Frankie Vaughan - Can't Get Along Without You,

Come Softly To Me, Hello Dolly

and Wanderin' Eyes.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

-But congratulations in the studio. Terrific.

-Thank you.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Well, thanks, once again, to our winning players, Dave and Bill,

who go away with today's jackpot of £4,000 - very well done.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE