Episode 60 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much indeed! Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome

to Pointless, the show where the more obscure your knowledge,

the better your chances of winning. Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number one.

-Hello, I'm Rory, I'm from London,

and this is my mate Karim. He's from Cambridge.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, I'm Lee and this is my daughter, Hannah,

and we're from Eastbourne.

-Couple number three.

-Hello, I'm James, this is my son, Chris,

and we're from Portsmouth in Hampshire.

-And finally, couple number four.

-I'm Stephanie, this is my friend Pearl,

-we're from Walton-on-Thames.

-And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll find more about you throughout the show

as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce,

a man whose mantra is, "Up here for thinking, down there for dancing."

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

What were you pointing at there?

-Feet.

-Oh, OK, gotcha. I wondered where that was going, for a minute.

Down, but feet.

Two good returning pairs, James and Chris and Lee and Hannah.

Both did all right last time.

James and Chris undone by cricket, I'm afraid.

And while it is lovely to have Karim and Rory on the show, I think

I'm thinking what everyone's thinking, which is

-we want Pearl to win, don't we?

-Course we do.

No disrespect - the six of you, the seven of you - I adore you,

wonderful people.

But I think it would be a nice thing to do for everyone just right

now to lay down and let Pearl take the title.

Let Pearl win the next time, cos then we get two shows with Pearl.

If she goes through to the final this time...

So, let Pearl get through to the head-to-head this time, everyone.

So, the three teams, by all means, fight it out amongst yourselves.

And then next time we let Pearl free-ride, yes?

Agreed, everyone at home? Happy? Yep?

-They don't need any help. Stephanie and Pearl are dynamite.

-I think so.

I don't think they need any charity to get through to the final.

I only have one concern, and that is Pearl might be trouble.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah, yeah.

-You know you've got to behave, don't you?

Yes!

What a shame!

Thank you, Richard. Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put

to 100 people before the show. Our contestants need to find the obscure

answers those 100 people didn't get and, of course, everyone's trying

to find a pointless answer, that being an answer that none of our

100 people gave. Each time that happens, we will add £250

to the jackpot. Now, Ram and Steven won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated. Also remember there is to be no conferring

in the first two rounds. Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

-Richard.

-We're looking for any word with its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends "OIL".

As always, no hyphenated words, abbreviations, proper nouns,

anything like that. Just any word ending "OIL."

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now then, Karim and Rory, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going to go first.

Karim, always tough being on the first podium in a words round.

-Not quite as much time to think.

-Indeed.

-What do you do, Karim?

-I own a watch company in Cambridge.

That's fun. Do you have a shop or do you do it online?

No, it's online, so we design and assemble everything.

Let's see what you're wearing at the moment.

-Oh, you and Rory.

-Yeah.

-That's one from, one of yours?

-Yes.

Excellent. Now, Karim, what are you hoping's going to come up?

Probably culture, I guess. Film.

Would probably be good for me.

-OK.

-Some sport.

-And, I hope, words ending in "OIL".

-Maybe.

Have you got one?

Yes. I think I'm going to go for "turmoil."

Ah, turmoil, says Karim. I like that. Turmoil.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many

of our 100 people said turmoil.

It's right, obviously.

I think this is going to be a low score, Karim.

Oh, it is - 15. Well done.

APPLAUSE

15 for turmoil.

Great start, Karim, on that first podium. Tough with these rounds.

"A state of great confusion, disturbance, uncertainty."

Turmoil would be a great name for some sort of liquor, wouldn't it?

Yeah, it would. It'd be a good cocktail, wouldn't it?

I'll have a Turmoil, please.

That's a good drop.

Anyway, I'll come back to you on that.

-Hannah, welcome back.

-Thanks, hi.

Now, it was head-to-head last time, wasn't it? Yes.

-We just choose the wrong answer.

-You did.

There was an ABBA round with clues.

-Mum knew all the answers.

-You went SOS and Lee knew Head Over Heels.

-Yeah, she did.

-You won't make that mistake again.

-No.

-No, not today. Not today.

-No.

Through to the final this time but not win it,

-that's what we've agreed.

-Well, we only came here for the trophy, so...

-Thank goodness.

-Perfect.

Now then, Hannah, words ending "OIL."

I'm going to go with "toil."

Toil. OK, toil, says Hannah. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said toil.

Obviously it's right.

Look at that - 83!

APPLAUSE

Wow. Toil.

Fancy that. Who knew toil would be so popular?

Anyway, 83 it scores you. It's better than 100.

-Yeah, true.

-It's high, though.

It's a big score for toil. It's what they drill for in Yorkshire.

LAUGHTER

-Chris, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Now, you are a primary school teacher.

-Yes, that's right.

-And as we discovered last time, you do puppet shows.

-Yes.

Do you make the puppets yourself?

-No, no, I haven't quite got the skill for that yet.

-It's very easy!

I remember making puppets.

Little balloon and some papier mache and you're away.

I'll try that. Maybe I could do an Alexander and a Richard puppet...

You'd have to work on our voices.

And you need a lot of papier mache for me.

Now then, Chris, what about a word ending "OIL"?

You've had a little bit of time.

Um...I think I'm going to play it relatively safe and go for "soil."

That is safe.

That is safe. But never mind, let's see. Soil, is it right?

And if it is, how many of our 100 people said soil?

Oh, 76. Not bad.

APPLAUSE

I was getting ready for that to be higher than toil but it wasn't.

-Very good.

-It's another big score.

Chris, if you ever want to see how to do a perfect appalled face

watch this show back and just watch your dad when you said "soil."

-Just textbook, James, textbook.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Stephanie, you are going to go first.

-Welcome to the show, Stephanie.

-Thank you.

How do you and Pearl know each other?

I do some voluntary work in a day centre and we met up

and did a bit of a quiz together.

Did you triumph?

-Uh...next question?

-OK!

What do you do when you're not volunteering, Stephanie?

I clean the fire station.

-Are they mucky in the fire station?

-Oh, yeah!

They're known for it, aren't they?

-Absolutely.

-Course they are

Now, Stephanie, words ending "OIL."

Embroil.

Oh, very good.

Very good. Embroil. Let's see how many of our 100 people said embroil.

It's right. 15 our low score at the moment, 83 our high.

7! Best score!

APPLAUSE

Best score so far, Stephanie, well done.

Well played, Stephanie.

"To involve someone deeply in an argument," to embroil.

-Did you hear the approval from the audience?

-Yeah, they liked that.

That's an audience that's just listened to

"toil" and "soil", isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

7 from Stephanie, the best score of that pass, putting Stephanie

and Pearl in a very commanding position at this point.

Then up to 15, where we find Karim and Rory,

and then up to 76, where we find Chris and James.

-And up to 83, Hannah and Lee.

-Toil.

-Yeah, toil.

-Who would have thought toil would beat soil?

-I know!

OK, we're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

Now then, Pearl, we are looking for words ending "OIL."

And you're going to see if you can find

the lowest-scoring one possible. Pearl, what are your hobbies?

Flower arranging, mostly.

I demonstrate occasionally as well.

And now just watching the television because I'm old and decrepit.

-AUDIENCE: Aww!

-Aw, Pearl.

Do you watch Pointless?

Why do you think I applied and found someone to apply with me?

-It would be a bit weird if it was random.

-Well, I know, exactly.

OK, Pearl, very best of luck. What's your "OIL" word?

Well, I hope it's one word because I'm doing it all the time - parboil.

Parboil.

-They're brilliant.

-Mm.

-If it's right.

-Yeah, that's right, I'm sure that's right.

If it's wrong, they've got 107.

I've tried to visualise whether it had a hyphen in-between but I...

No, I think that's fine. There's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're through to the next round.

You want to be scoring 75 or less. Let's see if parboil is right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right.

And you're very comfortably through, Pearl, very well done.

Oh, look at that - 5!

Best score so far, Pearl. Takes your total up to 12. Very well done.

Well played, Pearl, it's a terrific answer.

12 on that final podium, that's not bad going, is it?

Really not bad at all.

James, welcome back to Pointless.

Last time it was cricket in round two, wasn't it?

Yes. I don't know anything about cricket. My fault

Christopher didn't know the answer but as a dad bringing up his son

in England, I should have taught him about cricket. So, there you go.

James, a word ending in "OIL." You're on 76, courtesy of "soil."

If you can score six or less, you'll avoid overtaking our high scorers,

-Hannah and Lee there, on 83.

-OK, I'm going to go for a word,

I remember it going into the dictionary, I think probably

around about the 1960s and it's a bit of a gamble but "hydrofoil."

Hydrofoil.

I think that might be enough to save your bacon. Let's see.

There's your red line, it's quite low but if you get below that,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

I have a feeling this might go a long way down.

It's got you through - 2!

2 for hydrofoil takes your total to 78. Well done, best score so far.

That's a terrific answer. This round's getting better and better.

It's a type of boat that sort of lifts itself out of the water

-when it goes at high speed.

-Thanks, Rich. Now, Lee.

-Hello.

You are the high scorers on 83. We need something magic.

We basically need a minus score, is what I'm saying.

-Welcome back. Now, you are a stalwart member of the WI.

-Yes.

-As is Pearl.

-Pearl? Yes, good.

-Have you bonded over WI? Swapped some recipes?

-Yeah.

Good stuff. Now, words ending "OIL", Lee, that's what we're after.

-I think I will go with "subsoil."

-Subsoil, says Lee.

No red line for you cos you're the high scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said subsoil.

It's right.

Look at that - 1, Lee!

The best score of the round so far. Very well done indeed.

84 your total.

And it keeps getting better and better, Lee.

A terrific answer, subsoil. That's oil for subs.

LAUGHTER

Rory, welcome to the show. What do you do?

I work in the Science Museum in their records and archives.

I've been to the archives department of the Science Museum

when I did Who Do You Think You Are?

You went to the posh side. I work in the... That's the showroom.

-Yes, we had heating.

-Yeah, you had heating and light, probably.

Windows, we call them windows.

-So, where were you?

-Basement. Basement stores, yeah.

-And you actually did all the work?

-I did all the work for your one, yeah.

On Who Do You Think You Are?

Well, I did a lot of the work on your one.

And then the curator just swanned in and... He was very good.

-Very charming chap, isn't he?

-Yeah, we should have had you, though.

We should have had you, Rory. All that work. Oh, dear.

-You've been waiting to say that for years.

-I have!

-It was all me.

-Yeah, it was fascinating. Now, anyway.

-There you are on 15. You have to score 68 or less.

-OK.

Talk us through all your thoughts, if you like.

Well, what I was thinking here, I was thinking would "oil" do?

Do you know what, Rory? Let me tell you how Pointless works...

LAUGHTER

-It ends in that, doesn't it?

-Yeah, I know.

Do you remember the bit at the beginning when I said "obscure."

OK, OK, then. I'll go for "coil."

Wow, Karim.

That's sailing quite close to the wind.

-I can't think of anything!

-OK, fair enough. There is your red line.

Get below that red line and you are through to the next round.

How many of our 100 people said coil?

Oh, 78!

78, Rory. I'm afraid that takes your total up to 93.

You know that thing about how the round was getting better and better?

-I didn't see that coming, did you?

-No.

Of course, anything that can coil can also uncoil,

which would have scored you 3 points.

But let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Charbroil. So, if you didn't parboil, you decided to charbroil, it would

have been a pointless answer.

Cinquefoil...there's a lot of those words which are

to do with petals or shapes. Cinquefoil is also a plant.

But there's lots... Well, you'll see.

Stephanie, you said embroil. If you said disembroil,

would have been a pointless answer. I wouldn't have risked disembroil.

But it was a great answer if you got it at home.

Jetfoil is a pointless answer.

A hydrofoil scored you two, but a jetfoil was nothing.

These are similar to cinquefoil.

Sexfoil is a niche dress-making material.

That would been a pointless answer.

Coil was a very, very high scorer but supercoil was a pointless answer,

-so very well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round,

the pair that will be heading home with their high score of 93 -

it's not that high - but I'm afraid it's too high.

Rory and Karim, it's you, I'm sorry. We have to say goodbye to you.

We'll see you again next time, that's the good news, when

obviously you'll be stepping aside to allow Stephanie and Pearl to win.

Rory and Karim, thanks so much for playing. Great contestants.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

And so three pairs remain.

Obviously we'll be saying goodbye to another pair

at the end of this round.

I don't think it's going to be you, Stephanie and Pearl.

Fantastic play in that first round.

Stop putting the mockers on us.

You were our lowest scorers by a country mile.

James, well done there. Good bit of rescuing.

-Chris, could do better, I'm going to say.

-Yeah.

-Lee and Hannah, that was a close escape.

-I know.

But anyway, here you are. Lovely to have you with us still.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

On each pass we're going to show you the names of six Top 40 hits

that have the word crazy, stupid or love in them.

You need to tell us the artist

who had a hit with that song in the year shown.

Very best of luck.

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at home, so good luck.

OK, thank you. We are looking for the band or the artist

who had a hit with these songs. And here's our first board of six.

Let's read those all one last time.

Six crazy, stupid, love songs. Hannah, you are going to go first.

How do you like them apples?

I've got one. It's trying to work out whether she's on her own or not.

Love The Way You Lie...

..is Rihanna.

Yeah, Rihanna.

OK, Hannah has said Rihanna.

She's not entirely sure with that. But let's find out. Is it right?

And if it is, how many people said Rihanna?

-It's right.

-Oh, my gosh!

Very well done. 29.

APPLAUSE

It's all going perfectly.

Yeah, well done, Hannah.

It was Eminem and Rihanna, a hit for both of them, I think.

-That is a tough board, by the way.

-That is a tough board.

I imagine you know all six of those.

Well, I do cos I've got the answers here.

Now then, Chris.

Chris, what do you make of this?

In 2005 I had a part-time job in a sports shop and they used to play

this song on a loop, so I think I'm right in saying Crazy Chick

was sung by Charlotte Church.

Charlotte Church, Crazy Chick, says Chris. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Charlotte Church.

It's absolutely right.

Well, you've passed Hannah's score. 19.

-19 for Charlotte Church.

-Yeah, well played, Chris.

It was her biggest hit, number two in 2005.

Thanks very much indeed. Stephanie.

The board is all yours. Do you fancy talking us through it?

Well, I only know two of the others.

Bad going.

Don't Be Stupid is by Shania Twain.

And Love Me Do by The Beatles.

I'm going to go for Shania Twain.

OK, Shania Twain, says Stephanie, for Don't Be Stupid.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Shania Twain.

It is right. 29 is our highest score, 19 our low.

Look at that - 2! Very well done, Stephanie.

Once again the lowest score of the pass.

Well played, Stephanie.

She's got the word "stupid" and "love" in that, Shania Twain.

That's good going. You're right about Love Me Do, of course.

It's a big score but not as big as you'd think.

It's The Beatles, of course.

All Time Love?

I can't think who it is. I know the song...

Will Young.

And right at the top there...

I know some people at home will get this.

-The Bay City Rollers.

-It is, yeah.

And that scores 1 point, so it's the best answer up there.

Thank you very much indeed. So, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

12 the best score of that pass. Very well done, Stephanie.

Once again, Pearl and Stephanie, a commanding lead halfway

through the round. Let's hope that can continue.

Then up to 19, where we find Chris and James.

Then up to 29, where we find Hannah and Lee.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more love songs on the board

and here they come.

I'll read those all one final time.

We are looking for the artist who recorded each of these and, Pearl,

you're going to try and find the one you think the fewest

of our 100 people knew. How are we feeling about this board?

-I'm about to sink without trace.

-Oh, no!

-Yes.

I thought there might be a couple on there you'd think,

-"Oh, yippee, I know that one."

-No.

The best thing I can do is go back to 1958

and just choose somebody like Doris Day.

OK, and that's what you're going to do. Doris Day for Crazy Dream.

There's your red line.

Get below that and you're through to the head-to-head.

Fingers crossed. Let's see if Doris Day sang Crazy Dream.

And if she did, let's see how many people said it.

No, bad luck, Pearl.

I'm sorry, that's an incorrect answer

and that scores you 100 points.

-Takes your total up to 112. I'm sorry.

-My non-subject.

Pearl, tough category, but you never know, with two podiums still to go.

Now then, James.

-Right.

-James, how do you find this board?

I don't like the ones with the 2000 in front of them

but I'm not too bad with the other ones.

The fourth one down was actually number one on the day

Christopher was born, so I remember who that was.

But the one I'm going to go for is I Love To Love

and that was by Tina Charles.

Tina Charles, says James. Well,

if you can score 92 or less with that, you're in the head-to-head.

There's your red line. Get below that and through you go.

Tina Charles, is that right, and if it is, how many people said it?

It is right and you are through. Very well done.

5! That's a great answer.

Well played, James. Big disco fan, James.

-You can tell, can't you?

-King of the disco, yeah.

-That was Tina Charles' only number one.

-Thanks very much.

Now, Lee, if you can score 82 or less, you're in the head-to-head.

Now, talk us through the board.

Saving All My Love For You, I think is Whitney Houston.

And I'm going to with Crazy Horses cos my other love during the '70s -

apart from the Bay City Rollers - were The Osmonds.

And I think that's by The Osmonds.

The Osmonds, Crazy Horses. There's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the head-to-head for a second time.

Crazy Horses, was that by The Osmonds and if it was,

how many people remembered that?

It's right and you're through. Very well done.

32.

61 your total there.

Well played, Lee, that was their first top ten hit.

-Quite a weird song for a group like that to have recorded.

-Yeah.

-It is.

-That's the '70s for you.

-Yeah.

Now, I wonder how far you can go through the rest of the board.

-Crazy In Love?

-Beyonce.

Stupid Girls was Pink.

-Pink.

-And that would have scored 14 points.

-You know Pink watches?

-Yeah, I gather she does.

No, I mean, you know pink watches? I'm thinking of buying one.

LAUGHTER

Next show, when Karim's back, I think I'm going to get one off him.

Saving All My Love For You, James, was Whitney Houston, of course.

Absolutely right, 18 points.

And Crazy Dream,

it's the best answer on the board.

Better known as an actor, actually, Jim Dale.

-Wow!

-Yep, would have scored you 1 point.

Jim Dale, does that ring a bell at all, Pearl?

I don't even recognise any of the titles

except Saving All My Love For You,

and I couldn't remember who that was.

Would you have got Love Me Do, Pearl?

-No.

-Oh, OK. I don't feel so bad then.

I wouldn't have got anything in about the last 30 years.

Well, if we've done pop music today,

we almost certainly won't do it next time, that's the good news.

It'll be Premiership football next time.

LAUGHTER

-That's usually how it works.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

So at the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair heading home

with their high score of 112, it's Stephanie and Pearl,

I'm so sorry we have to send you away.

But the great news is you're back next time,

we'll look forward to that very much indeed.

Stephanie and Pearl, lovely people.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, James and Chris, Lee and Hannah,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

We have to decide who's going to play for that money,

and to do that, you are now going to go head-to-head.

But from here on in, you are allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

North and South American flags, Richard.

Going to show you five flags now of

countries on the continents of North or South America.

Can you give us the most obscure country, please? Best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five flags, and here they are, we have got...

There we are. Five flags from the Americas.

James and Chris, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

I think C is Ecuador...

What about D or E? D'you know them?

I would be guessing if I went for them.

We think we recognise C as being Ecuador.

C, Ecuador, you're going to say. C, Ecuador.

Now, then, Lee and Hannah, do you want to talk us through those flags?

-Erm...

-We think B is Argentina.

D or E we think is Colombia, but we're not certain which one.

Yeah, they have similar flags,

I can't remember which way round it is.

So, although we know it's right,

-we're going to go B, Argentina.

-B, Argentina.

BOTH: Hope it's right!

OK, B, Argentina. James and Chris have said C, Ecuador.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ecuador.

Oh, not Ecuador, as it turns out,

which means, Lee and Hannah,

all you have to be is correct with B, Argentina.

Let's find out if that is correct.

It is correct, you win the point, very well done.

56 people said it.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Lee and Hannah, after one question you are up 1-0.

Playing it safe paid off there, Lee and Hannah.

If you'd had to give us D or E for Colombia,

-which would you have gone for?

-D.

-Well, E is Colombia.

-That was lucky.

And it would have scored you 13 points.

And I'll tell you what D is.

-It's Ecuador.

-Oh!

And that would have scored you 7 points.

Now, C, it's not Ecuador, James, it's Mexico.

And that would have scored you 33 points.

I think I heard during deliberations, you had an idea for A.

-I thought it was Suriname.

-And it was Suriname as well.

And it's the best answer up there, would have scored you 3 points.

Would have been a terrific answer.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, here comes your second question.

Lee and Hannah, you get to answer this one first,

and if you win it, you go straight through to the final,

so a little bit of pressure on you, James and Chris, at this point.

Best of luck, it concerns...

The Fast Show, Richard.

Going to give you five clues now to facts about The Fast Show.

Just need you to give us the most obscure answer, please.

Thanks very much, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

We have got...

There we are, five clues to facts about The Fast Show.

I'll read them all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about The Fast Show.

Lee and Hannah, you will go first.

-OK, well, this is a toughie cos we've never watched the show.

-No.

Erm, we're going to go with the actress who wrote the book

Does My Bum Look Big In This? And I think it's Arabella Weir.

Arabella Weir, say Lee and Hannah.

Now, James and Chris.

Talk us through the rest of the board if you can.

OK, unfortunately, I was never a huge Fast Show fan. Erm...

I'm trying to remember...

Seriously, you must go back and revisit The Fast Show.

-It'll inspire your puppet shows.

-I saw kind of bits of it.

I think Simon Day might have played a character called Ted?

I seem to remember someone done up in tweed outside.

I don't know the top two at all,

so we're going to go for the year first broadcast.

I'm toying between '96 and '97.

I'm just going to say 1997.

1997, say James and Chris. So we have Arabella Weir and 1997.

Lee and Hannah said Arabella Weir,

the authoress of Does My Bum Look Big In This?

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Very well done indeed, a correct answer, down to 11.

APPLAUSE

James and Chris have said 1997 was

the year the programme was first broadcast.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said 1997 if it is.

Oh, no, bad luck.

An incorrect answer, which means, Lee and Hannah,

you are through to the final, 2-0. Very well done indeed.

Well played, Lee and Hannah, Arabella Weir's a terrific answer.

The year it was first broadcast would have beaten you,

-and if you weren't going to say '97 what were you going to say?

-'96.

-Yeah.

-Oh, no. Just rub it in.

It was...it was 1994.

LAUGHTER

-Would have scored 10 points. That's a relief, isn't it?

-Massively.

Can go to bed happy tonight now.

The eight-letter word used repeatedly by...

-it was Caroline Aherne, wasn't it?

-Scorchio!

-Scorchio, absolutely.

That would have scored you, it was the biggest scorer up there...

29 points. The Hollywood actor looking for the suit?

It was someone like Johnny Depp.

It was Johnny Depp, yeah, appeared in the last ever episode.

That would have scored you 17.

And the name of Simon Day's eco-warrior character?

Er, I remember the character.

Dave Angel was the answer to that, that's the best answer there,

would have scored you 7 points.

Well done to anyone who went all the way through the board.

I'm always amazed when people can get years.

-Yeah.

-When things were first or last broadcast. I can't do it.

I think people say, "Oh, it first came out when I started school,"

-or something. That's when you can do it, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Anyway, thank you, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round is

James and Chris, I'm sorry to say.

And you've, well, you've had some lucky escapes.

James, you've done some heavy lifting, I think it's fair to say.

We won't bring up soil again. Oh, I just have. I'm sorry.

But it's been great having you on both shows.

Thank you so much for playing, James and Chris.

APPLAUSE

But for Lee and Hannah, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Lee and Hannah, you've fought off the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done indeed.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

There it is.

Now, Hannah, cast your mind back to Round One, when you said "toil"

and you scored something massive. 83, I think you got.

-83, yeah.

-Did you ever think you'd be here in the final?

No, I didn't think we'd make it through the first round,

let alone to the final.

-But then, Round Two, some great answers there.

-Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Rihanna, good score. And then 2-0 in the head-to-head.

-Superb.

-Yeah.

-Good stuff.

Well, as always, you kick off this round by choosing a category

and here are your options.

You can choose from...

HANNAH LAUGHS

-Well...

-They're not the best categories I've ever seen.

Wales?! Come on!

I've only been there a couple of times when I was younger.

-Sporting Awards, I'd say, is probably your best bet.

-Or Sci-Fi?

-It could be Doctor Who.

-Yeah, but if it's books...

What would you prefer?

-Let's go Sci-Fi, it might be Star Wars.

-Oh, OK. Yeah?

-It's up to you.

-OK, Science Fiction then.

-You're going to go for Science Fiction.

-Yeah, we're going to risk it.

-OK. Richard, Science Fiction it is.

Yeah, we're going to give you three options now to choose between.

Can you give us any novel written by Ray Bradbury?

Not looking for any short stories or works of nonfiction.

Any Ray Bradbury novel.

Any character who appeared in

30 or more episodes of the original Star Trek.

Or we're looking for any tracks on the original 1978 vinyl release of

Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds album.

So, any Ray Bradbury novel,

any Star Trek character who's appeared in 30 or more episodes,

or any of the songs on the original release of War of the Worlds.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

The answers you give can come from any of these categories.

They can all come from the same one, if you like, or one from each,

two from one, one from another, it's up to you. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-OK, not the top one.

-No.

Erm, Star Trek characters, I only know the crew.

Lt Uhura, that's about it, really.

-Yeah, cos I didn't really watch it, it's not my thing.

-No.

-War of the Worlds songs, come on.

-I've got the CD at home.

-Nothing?

Well, it's going to be really high,

it's not going to be pointless

cos it's the only song I can remember, so...

OK, well, that's one answer.

-We'll do Forever Autumn from the bottom one.

-OK.

-Cos Gary Barlow's just redone it.

-OK, right, yeah.

-So, Forever Autumn...

-Yeah.

Lt...

-Lt Uhura.

-You say that, cos I really can't. Erm...

And Khan, the...

Benedict Cumberbatch one from the movie, I swear he's in there.

-Is he in the original one?

-I'm sure he is,

cos they talk about it a lot, on Khan... Big Bang Theory!

OK, that's your thought pattern, Big Bang Theory.

-Pretty much!

-10 seconds left.

-OK.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Lt Uhura, Khan and the song.

-Forever Autumn.

-Right, yeah?

-Yeah.

-OK.

OK, you have your three answers. Your time is now up.

What are the three answers you're giving me?

OK, from Star Trek characters, Khan.

-Khan.

-And Lt Uhura.

Lt Uhura.

I think that's how you say it, yeah.

And War of the Worlds songs, I think Forever Autumn's on there.

Forever Autumn. OK, of those three,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Forever Autumn.

-OK, so, Forever Autumn we put last.

-Which shall we put first?

-Lt Uhura.

Lt Uhura, OK, we'll put Lt Uhura first.

Let's pop those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are. We have got...

Well, very best of luck.

-They look quite good on the board now, don't they?

-Yeah.

-They look great.

-Three really good answers.

Much better than I can come up with.

Let's just imagine one of those is a pointless answer,

it's entirely possible, what would you do with your...

It's not going to be the biggest windfall ever,

but 1,000 quid, still quite nice.

What would you do with that?

Erm, I promised my boyfriend I'd get him tickets to go

and see the rugby if we did win.

So if it was a bit bigger, I'd try and go somewhere extravagant

and abroad or something,

but I'm sure we'll be happy with Twickenham tickets.

There you are, exactly, that's a nice treat. Lee, how about you?

I would probably spend it on a meal for everybody,

-Hannah, my other children.

-Oh, thank you!

-You, Richard...

-I am quite hungry.

-It's going to be a lot, cos everybody,

that's going to be expensive.

Everybody in my close circle of friends.

Oh, that's kind. So still us!

Fabulous. Well, best of luck.

Now, we are looking at Uhura. These are original Star Trek characters.

Uhura you thought was probably your least likely to be pointless.

But only one of them has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot. Let's find out, though, for £1,000,

how many people said Uhura was an original Star Trek character?

Is it pointless?

-It's right.

-It's right.

-That's the main thing.

Down it goes, through the 50s, through the 40s,

if this goes all the way down to 0 you leave with £1,000.

Well, 33.

APPLAUSE

So, unfortunately not a pointless answer,

but you put that first for a reason, to get that one out of the way.

Your next answer, Khan, it's a bit either/or, this one.

This is a bit of a punt.

This is the Benedict Cumberbatch character in the film,

-but you think it's an original character.

-I'm sure...maybe.

-You're sure.

-I'm sure, maybe.

-I'm sure-ish.

-OK, well, let's find out.

Obviously it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so for £1,000, let's find out if

Khan is one of the original characters of Star Trek.

-Oh, there's your answer.

-Yeah, yeah.

OK, also not a pointless answer,

which means you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

It is all riding on Forever Autumn,

and you're hoping that is from the original War of the Worlds album.

Let's find out if it is. How many people said Forever Autumn?

It's right.

Your first answer, Uhura, took us down to 33.

Your second answer, Khan, turned out to be incorrect.

This last answer going down...

13!

APPLAUSE

13.

Well, three good answers, well, two good answers, let's say.

Two good answers there, and do you know what?

I know what your tactics were.

You're just thinking of Pearl, so I say, on her behalf,

thank you so much.

That was really big of you, and you go home with that Pointless trophy,

so well done, you've done phenomenally well.

It's been great having you on the show.

I'm afraid you didn't win the jackpot. That will roll over onto the next show,

-but you do leave with a Pointless trophy.

-Pearl's money, not jackpot.

-Pearl's money.

-Pearl's money - nicely corrected. Richard.

Yes, you've been great for two shows, and it's a good punt, Khan.

He was in one episode in the original series, played by Ricardo Montalban.

Let's look at all the pointless answers in the different categories.

Ray Bradbury novels first. Any fans will get some of these.

There are five pointless Ray Bradbury novels.

A Graveyard For Lunatics,

Death Is A Lonely Business...

He has good titles, doesn't he, Ray Bradbury? You've got to say.

From The Dust Returned,

Green Shadows, White Whale.

You also could have had Let's All Kill Constance.

Fahrenheit 451 was the biggest scorer there.

The Star Trek characters, there's only one pointless answer.

I know some people, Star Trek fans really know their stuff,

Lt Leslie was a pointless answer.

You would have got a point for Nurse Chapel as well, a terrific answer.

I'll go through all the Star Trek characters, actually,

cos I know there's big Star Trek fans at home.

Mr Spock was the biggest scorer, surprisingly, 67,

beat Captain Kirk, who got 59.

Dr McCoy got the same as Uhura, got 33 points.

And you would have got 29 for Scotty, 17 for Chekov

and poor old Sulu with just 12.

But Nurse Chapel with 1 and Lt Leslie there was the pointless answer.

And War of the Worlds tracks.

Brave New World, a David Essex track,

would have been a pointless answer.

All these other three had Richard Burton on them as well,

Dead London, Horsell Common and the Heat Ray, and The Spirit of Man.

All of those are pointless answers. Also could have had Epilogue or

The Artilleryman and the Fighting Machine.

All of those pointless answers.

Very well played across two shows, sorry about the jackpot.

-Hope you've enjoyed yourself.

-Thanks.

-Pearl's money.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Lee and Hannah,

but it's been great having you on the show.

Thank you both for playing so well, Lee and Hannah.

APPLAUSE

Lee and Hannah didn't win our jackpot today, which means it

rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £2,000.

There it is.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE