Episode 69 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Ellen, this is my great nephew Matt.

He's from Kent and I'm from Essex.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Trudy, this is Chris. We're friends.

I'm from Stamfordham in Northumberland and Chris is from Newcastle.

Couple number three.

Hello, I'm Jacqueline, this is my husband Jim

and we're from Motherwell in Scotland.

And finally couple number four.

Hiya, I'm Ashley, this is my dad Charlie and we're both from Cardiff.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show

as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's the Brain of Britain and every other sovereign state that's

also a member of the UN in its own right, too.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya!

Hi, everybody. Hiya.

APPLAUSE

-Course, Britain isn't a sovereign state in its own right and a member of the UN.

-No, it's not.

-It's the United Kingdom.

-Well, indeed. But Brain of the UK doesn't sound right.

-No, absolutely.

I'm just saying it's worth picking up on.

No, I'm glad Richard's here to pull us up on that.

-You're going to nick my catchphrases.

-I'm not going to do that.

-It's one of the all-time great catchphrases.

Just going to honour them from time to time.

I don't get the chance to use it socially very much.

You should do it more.

See, Brucie, every time he meets you, he can say, "Nice to see you,"

and you go, "Huh! To see you nice."

Whereas when I meet you, I can't go,

"Erm, I tell you what I mean by country.

"I mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right."

And then suddenly people drift off to other rooms in the party.

Rightly so. It's going to be a cracker today, I think.

-Isn't it, though!

-Three returning pairs. Matt and Ellen, who did brilliantly last time,

got through to the head-to-head. Our first ever, I think, great-aunt/ great-nephew combination on the show.

In our millions of episodes first time we've ever had that.

Jim and Jacqueline, who also played very well, and then we made them do

a cricket question in Round Two, which scuppered them.

And Charlie and Ashley, who didn't cover yourselves in glory last time

but lots of fun and I think have got a lot more to give.

Trudy and Chris, good luck.

But you've got three very, very strong pairs against you.

Round One, the sort of thing that regular Pointless viewers will do very well at.

And Round Two, a lot of fun, so I think there's...

much fun to be had in the next 45 minutes.

No flipping. LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Every question on Pointless has been put to 100 people before the show.

Today's contestants are looking for a pointless answer,

that's one that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Anne and Vicky didn't win the jackpot last time

so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £4,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

The pair with the highest score will be eliminated at the end of this round,

and, remember, there is to be no conferring during the round itself. Best of luck.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Chemical elements with an O in their name. Richard.

Yes, we're looking for any elements in the periodic table of elements

with an O in its name as of September 2013, please.

Thanks very much indeed.

Matt and Ellen, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going to go first again! You were first last time.

Matt, welcome back to the show. Remind us what you do.

I'm a university student at Canterbury Christchurch University

and I also work part-time in a supermarket.

And your hobbies - a lot of sport.

Yeah, obviously I love my football, love my kayaking.

-I love any adventure sports, really. So very outdoors person.

-OK.

How do you feel about science generally?

It's been a few years since I've studied it but I'll give it a shot.

-Sodium.

-Sodium, says Matt. Sodium.

Let's see how many people of our 100 people said sodium.

Well, he's right.

Not a bad score to kick us off with there Matt. 31 for sodium.

Well done, Matt. I love the fact that Matt says, "I haven't studied science for a while now." He's 19!

LAUGHTER

Trudy, welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

From Stamfordham in Northumberland. Know it well. Fantastic!

-Near your neck of the woods.

-It is very much my neck of the woods.

-What you do, Trudy?

-I'm a legal secretary

and I'm actually a legal secretary for Chris's dad.

-So you've known Chris all of his life?

-Yes, basically!

Just about, yes! Created him into the man he is today

and we sent him off to university as a pretty good secretary

cos he used to come in and help out in the summer, so, yeah.

Very good. What are your hobbies, Trudy?

-I like to do zumba.

-Zumba.

-Zumba's my thing.

-I do that twice a week.

-Where do you do that? Stamfordham village hall?

-Yes.

Matfen as well, just along the road. So it's great. I really enjoy it.

Good stuff. Now, Trudy, chemical elements with an O in their name.

I think I'm going to go for bromine.

Bromine. OK, let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said bromine.

It's right.

31 our only score at this stage.

You whizz past that. Down it goes.

Look at that! Five! Very well done indeed, Trudy!

That's a great score.

Well played, Trudy. Welcome to Pointless.

Yeah it's a very smelly element. Its name comes from the Greek for "stench".

-Wow!

-Yeah.

-Also a lovely name for a child.

-It's a pretty name.

-Yeah.

"That's lovely, and is Sodium getting on with her?"

"Yeah, yeah, he seems to really like her."

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jim! Welcome back.

-What happened last time, Jim?

-Second round, we were...

-..thrown out by cricket.

-You were bowled a googly! Yeah. Cricket...

-Whatever that means!

-Jim, what are you hoping's going to come up today?

-What's the dream round?

-Music.

-Any type of music.

-OK.

-A bit of jazz.

-OK, very good.

-That would be good for me.

-Now, obviously you're a passionate photographer.

-Yes.

You've been an amateur photographer but you now do it semi-professionally, don't you?

Uh-huh, yes. But I still don't want to lose the passion as a hobby

so I try and do the things that I really enjoy doing, like live music.

-That's one of my big passions.

-Very good.

OK, now, what about chemistry?

-Chemistry's part of photography.

-Yep. Erm...

I think this might be a Pointless favourite.

Molybdenum.

Molybdenum. OK, molybdenum, says Jim.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said molybdenum.

It's right, of course.

31 our high score and five our lowest this point.

Well, you passed the high score. You've passed the low score as well!

Very well done, Jim. Four for molybdenum.

APPLAUSE

Of course, time was when molybdenum would have gone even further down.

Yeah, molybdenum I'd call it, probably. But you're right. It is a Pointless favourite.

It's been pointless many times, molybdenum. They use it in jet engines.

-Wow. Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Ashley.

-Hello.

Ashley, welcome back to the show. Welcome back.

We had an incorrect answer on S Club 7 last time round, but don't worry, we've forgotten about that.

Now, Ashley, remind us what you do.

I'm a student at the University of West of England.

-Remind us what you're studying.

-Biomedical science.

So I'm guessing... I mean, this is playing right to your strengths.

-The pressure is on, yes.

-At the moment our lower score is four.

I mean, you're going to blow that out the water!

I've got a few answers but I think I'm going to go with plutonium.

Plutonium, says Ashley.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said plutonium.

Well, it's right. Four is our lower score so far.

Not bad at all. Nine for plutonium.

APPLAUSE

Yes, first detected in 1941 and named after Pluto,

which was, at that point, a recently discovered planet.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

4 the best score of that pass, Jim, very well done.

Then up to 5, where we find Trudy and Chris, also strong.

Ditto Ashley and Charlie on 9.

Matt and Ellen, not a bad score, 31, but you are way out in front,

So, Ellen, some more molybdenum-type stuff from you, please, if that's all right.

Best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line. Can the second players step up to the podium.

OK, Charlie, now, remember, we're looking for any chemical element with an O in its name.

-Welcome back, Charlie.

-Thank you very much.

-Are you wearing the same jumper as last time

-or is it a different jumper?

-It is a different jumper. With the same pattern.

-Same pattern.

I like that swallow pattern.

-It's actually a bluebird.

-I like that BLUEBIRD pattern...

LAUGHTER

-Are they the same...? They must be the same family.

-I'm sure they're cousins.

-House martins, swifts...

-Yeah. You could say they're birds of a feather, I suppose.

-Wow, and you bought them in every single colour they had.

-Pretty much!

Very good. Well, Charlie, welcome back to the show.

Ashley's left you in a pretty good position there.

You are 21 points behind our high-scorers there on 31.

-How's your chemistry, Charlie?

-I'll try. We'll see what happens.

-Potassium.

-Potassium, says Charlie. Potassium. Sounds good to me.

There's your red line,

get below that with potassium and you're in the next round.

Good luck, Charlie. Let's find out how many people said potassium.

It's right.

28.

APPLAUSE

28, Charlie, I think that's enough to see you through,

takes your total up to 37.

It's the seventh most abundant metal in the earth's crust,

-as if I need to tell you that.

-Yeah.

-Potassium.

-Potassium.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jacqueline...

-Hi.

-Welcome back to the show, great to have you here.

Now, Jim, of course, you are...

Jim is now semi-retired from his

civil servant's job.

Does Jim ever get you to help out when he's doing all his...?

Cos obviously, a lot of photography,

it's lovely when you're there pressing the shutter,

which is Jim's job.

There's also quite a lot of hefting stuff about and getting stuff

and doing lighting stuff and adjusting things

and holding things up, reflecting things.

-Does he ever get you to do that?

-Yeah, I think the technical term is

"camera assistant," or "photographer assistant,"

but really it's just a gopher. I'm just the gopher.

I'll do whatever I'm...

Pick that up, fetch that. But, yeah, I like to get involved.

Nice to be involved, yeah, nice to go out on a shoot with Jim.

There you are on 4. The high scorers at the moment are

Charlie and Ashley on 37,

so 32 or less

-will see you through.

-Yes.

Chemistry, Jacqueline, it's chemistry.

How do we feel about that?

Not particularly good.

However, I've been trying to study,

so I'm going to say livermorium.

-Livermorium.

-Yes.

-Livermorium.

There's your red line.

Let's see if livermorium...

Have you studied that?

Have you been looking at the Periodic Table?

Maybe one word out of the Periodic Table.

OK, no, that sounds like a great word.

Let's see if livermorium is correct

and if it is let's see if it can get you below that red line

and into the next round.

It's right.

Very well done indeed, Jacqueline.

Jim was our low scorer on 4,

I wonder if you're going to go below.

Yes, you are! It's a pointless answer, that's fabulous!

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed.

That adds £250 to the jackpot,

takes the total up to £4,500.

It scores you nothing and it leaves your total at a very impressive 4.

Very well done indeed, great teamwork on Podium Three.

Very well played, it's actually the most recent element on the list,

livermorium. It won't be for long, there will be others along,

but I expect it to become a firm Pointless favourite in years to come.

Yeah, we heard it here first.

Exactly, it's a super-heavy synthesised element.

Kind of like late Kraftwerk.

-Very similar to that, yeah.

-OK, very good, thank you.

-Erm, now then, Chris, welcome.

-Hello.

Welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.

What do you do, Chris, when you're not helping out

in your dad's law firm?

That was a long time ago.

I'm an administrator at Newcastle University.

When you're not doing that what d'you like to get up to?

I'm a very keen cricketer, erm, play cricket for my local team.

What's your local team?

-Ponteland Cricket Club, just want to give them a mention.

-Good stuff.

We've just won the league, the team that I captained this season, so...

-What about that? Fantastic.

-It's been a great year, so, yep.

Good work. Well, Chris, there you are on 5.

Our high scorers at the moment are Charlie and Ashley on 37.

31 or less will see you through. How's your chemistry?

-Going to go with argon.

-Argon.

-Mm-hm.

-Argon says Chris.

There's your red line, if you get below that you're in the next round.

Let's see if argon can get you there.

It's right.

Yep, you've done it, very well done indeed.

Argon scores you 20, 25 is your total.

Through you go to Round Two.

Very well done, Chris.

-Yeah, argon, it comes from the Greek "Argos."

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, then, Ellen, we have a contest on our hands. 31 is your score.

We need from you 5 or less to keep you in the game.

You cannot leave at the end of this round, Ellen.

The only thing I can think of

is when I used to have a budgie when I was little

and used to give it iodine blocks.

So I'm going to say iodine.

OK. May the Budgie Force be with you, Ellen.

Ellen's saying iodine, there is

the red line you have to get below to stay with us.

Let's see if you can get down there with iodine.

It's right, Ellen. It's right, it's still going down, Ellen.

Down it goes, down it goes!

Oh, 6!

It had to score 5!

This is very exciting indeed.

Takes your total up to 37. Richard.

Lockdown!

G-s-s-sh! Whoa-whoa!

-Whoa-whoa!

-When are they going to...?

Imagine the lights all changing and all that stuff.

Every time this happens I hope we'd have a new lighting state

and some music, I don't know, maybe a little procession of monks

who come out in cowls, and they sing...

# Lockdown

XANDER AND RICHARD SING # Lockdown

# Oh-oh... #

At home, one of you keep switching the light on and off,

and the other one do that in front of your eyes.

OK, now then, as it's a tie, the tied pairs have to give me

one more answer each,

and the pair that gets the highest score will be eliminated.

Matt and Ellen, you will go first. You can confer.

This is where Matt comes into play, Ellen.

THEY WHISPER

OK, Matt and Ellen, let's have your answer please.

-Xayon?

-Xayon.

-Xayon.

-Mm.

Charlie and Ashley, let's have your answer please.

-Erm, Californium?

-Californium.

We have xayon and Californium.

Ellen and Matt went with xayon, let's see if xayon exists,

and if it does, let's see how many people said it.

Ooh, xayon, I'm afraid, not yet a chemical element.

Charlie and Ashley have gone with Californium.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it.

It only has to be correct for you to go through to the next round.

It's right. Well done, Charlie and Ashley.

It's a good answer as well, look at that.

It scores 2.

APPLAUSE

Californium, very well done.

-So, Richard.

-Well played, Charlie and Ashley.

Matt and Ellen, I think you're probably thinking of xenon,

which would have scored you 13 points.

But there's quite a few pointless answers as well.

Let's take a look at some of them.

Dysprosium, flerovium was a pointless answer, holmium was

a pointless answer, that's another old friend of the show.

There's livermorium, what a brilliant answer that is.

Er, niobium, praseodymium is a pointless answer.

Seaborgium, thorium and zirconium, all of those are pointless.

Very well done if you said one of those.

Shall we take a look at the top three,

the ones that most of our 100 people said?

Iron would have scored you 41.

Hydrogen would have scored you 50.

And our old friend, oxygen, 75.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, I'm sorry to say,

the pair leaving us with their high score, it's Matt and Ellen.

What a...! The competition's been staggering today.

Nothing wrong with any of your answers,

apart from xayon, obviously, which we'll draw a veil over.

But this really is goodbye, I'm afraid, Ellen.

It's been lovely having you on the show,

thank you both so much for playing. Ellen and Matt.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain.

Obviously we'll be saying goodbye to another pair

at the end of this round, but very well done all three pairs.

Trudy and Chris, nice low scoring in that round. Jim and Jacqueline!

That's just exemplary, a pointless answer with livermorium,

soon to become a stalwart Pointless favourite,

I'm sure that won't be pointless for long.

Charlie and Ashley, Ashley, thank goodness you've got your dad here,

because on your own you came up with plutonium, which was OK.

I allow you to confer with your dad, Californium,

which was when it counted, so, yeah, very well done indeed.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

It's Comedy. Can you decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

Comedy Catchphrases from TV, Richard.

We're going to show you six comedy catchphrases. We need you to tell us

the name of the show that they're most associated with please.

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at at home,

-12 catchphrases, 12 shows to guess. Good luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our first board of comedy catchphrases,

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, six catchphrases from comedy on TV.

You have to tell me from which show these came.

Now, Chris, do you know all of those?

Er, some of them.

I think I'm going to go with "Smeg head," which I believe is Red Dwarf.

OK, Red Dwarf, says Chris. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Red Dwarf.

It's right.

48.

APPLAUSE

48 for Red Dwarf.

Yes, common insult hurled at Rimmer, usually by Dave Lister,

-who came on the show, didn't he, Craig Charles?

-He did.

-He was very good.

-Yeah, very good indeed. Now, Jacqueline.

-Yes.

-Jacqueline, how are we feeling about this round?

-Not bad.

-Fun, isn't it?

It is, yes.

There's two I know, one I could guess,

and the bottom two I don't know at all.

So I'm going to go with "Bazinga,"

which is The Big Bang Theory.

Big Bang Theory says Jacqueline for Bazinga.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Very well done, 48 our score at the moment.

You've passed that,

37 for Bazinga and Big Bang Theory.

APPLAUSE

Yes, from the brilliant Big Bang Theory,

-Sheldon Cooper's catchphrase in that.

-Thanks very much.

Now, Charlie, you are the last person to have this board.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

I definitely know two.

"Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once,"

that's 'Allo 'Allo,

and "Goodnight Seattle - and good mental health" is Frasier.

No idea with the other two, so I'll have to go Frasier.

OK, you're going to say Frasier for "Goodnight Seattle." Let's see

if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Frasier.

Well, it's right.

48 is our high score at the moment,

37 our low...44.

APPLAUSE

44 for Frasier.

Well played, Charlie, chose the right one of the ones you knew as well.

Roz from Frasier was originally going to be played by Lisa Kudrow,

-Phoebe from Friends.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

Would have been an interesting pairing.

The other one you knew, absolutely right, it was 'Allo 'Allo.

That would have scored you 68 points.

Now, "You're my wife now."

-D'you know that?

-The League of Gentlemen.

The League of Gentlemen, yeah, said by Papa Lazarou.

Would have scored you 20.

And, "I'm crushing your head," d'you know that?

It's a Canadian sketch show called The Kids In The Hall.

And they do a thing, it's like, you can do it at home now

if you've got someone, put your fingers together

and then you crush someone's head like that.

So I'm crushing your head.

Ow, ow! Stop that! That's really sore.

And if you said Kids In The Hall, very well done, it scored 4 points,

-best answer up there.

-Thanks very much indeed,

we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

37 the best score of that pass,

-once again Jacqueline and Jim are owning the show.

-Amazing.

Incredible performance from them.

Then we travel up to 44 where we see Charlie and Ashley,

then up to 48, not too far ahead this time, Chris and Trudy.

But, Trudy, you're going to be the last person to have the next board.

Let's hope there's some nice things on there with nice low scores

that'll see you through to the head-to-head.

Best of luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more catchphrases up on the board, and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one final time.

We are looking for the TV show from which these catchphrases came,

and, Ashley, you're going to try and find the one

-you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Yep, erm,

I actually only know one, and I think it's going to be

quite a high scorer, but it's better than 100.

"Shut up, Meg" is Family Guy.

Family Guy says Ashley, Family Guy for "Shut up, Meg!"

You're on 44, the high scorers are Trudy and Chris on 48.

If you can score 3 or less you will avoid becoming the new high scorers.

There is your red line.

Let's see, Family Guy, how many people said that?

It's right.

35.

APPLAUSE

Not bad, takes your total up to 79.

Yeah, in fact, the best score of the round so far, 35, yeah,

played by Mila Kunis.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Jim, you're on 37.

41 or less sees you through.

How do you feel about this round, this board?

Erm don't know the top one

and I think I've got a good chance with any of the other four,

but I'm going to go for

"Ooh, you are awful... but I like you,"

and The Dick Emery Show.

The Dick Emery Show, says Jim. There is your red line.

Get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see if The Dick Emery Show

can get you below that red line.

It's right.

Well done, you're through. 28. Good enough.

Takes your total up to 65.

Yes, broadcast from 1963 to 1981, The Dick Emery Show.

-Really?

-Yeah, pulled in up to 17 million viewers at times.

-Fantastic.

-Incredible that.

-Yeah. Now, then, Trudy. The moment of truth.

-You need to score 30 or less.

-Right.

D'you want to talk us through the board?

I don't know what the top one is.

"It's goodnight from me and it's goodnight from him"

is The Two Ronnies.

"Nanu, nanu" is Mork & Mindy.

And I think the bottom one is Monty Python's Flying Circus.

But I'm not quite sure about that one,

I don't know whether to gamble it.

So I think I shall go for

"Nanu, nanu," Mork & Mindy.

Mork & Mindy says Trudy.

There's your red line. Get below that red line

and you're in the head-to-head.

Let's find out if Mork & Mindy can get you down there.

It's right.

48!

Bad luck, Trudy, that's quite a high score,

-takes your total up to 96.

-It's a big score, sorry, Trudy.

Made a big star of Robin Williams, of course.

Everyone's having trouble with the top one

but we'll fill in the other two first.

Neither of these would have seen you through.

"It's goodnight from me and it's goodnight from him"

is The Two Ronnies and would have scored you 62.

"And now for something completely different,"

it was Monty Python's Flying Circus, but that would have scored you 40.

Do you know the top one?

-It's from Seinfeld.

-Seinfeld.

-Yeah.

Would have scored 5 points so very well done if you said that at home.

Thank you very much indeed. So at the end of our second round

the pair heading home with their score of 96,

it's Trudy and Chris.

The good news is we'll get to see you next time,

but I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you right now.

But thanks very much for playing, Trudy and Chris.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Jim and Jacqueline, Charlie and Ashley,

you're one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £4,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now we have to decide who's going to play for that money,

and to do that, you are going to go head-to-head,

the big difference being that you are now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

London Underground Stations, Richard.

We're going to show you five visual clues now to

stations on the London tube map.

Can you give us the most obscure answer here? Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five visual clues, and here they come. We have got...

There we are, five visual clues to stations on the London Underground.

Jim and Jacqueline, you've played best throughout the show so far

so you will get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

A couple of obvious ones, I think, but we're going to go for E.

I think that's Victoria Pendleton, so Victoria.

Victoria, say Jim and Jacqueline. Victoria.

Now, then, Charlie and Ashley, d'you want to talk us through the rest?

-We definitely know the two obvious ones.

-Paddington is B.

-Obviously D's something to do with angels.

-The Angel Islington, is it?

-That's the hotel.

-Is it a station as well, though?

-I think we'd have to go on a punt, would we?

-We'd have to.

-Shall we go for it?

-Yeah, go on.

-We'll go for D as Angel Islington.

OK, you're going to say Angel Islington for D. Angel Islington.

Jim and Jacqueline have said Victoria.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Victoria for E.

It's right.

22.

APPLAUSE

22 for Victoria.

Now, Charlie and Ashley, you have said Angel Islington for D.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Angel Islington.

Bad luck, an incorrect answer, I'm afraid, which means,

Jim and Jacqueline, after one question, you are up 1-0.

It's just Angel, guys. It would have scored too many points anyway,

would have scored 48 points but, er, the name of the station is Angel.

Let's take a look at the rest of the board.

A is the best answer up there,

that's the Golden Temple at Amritsar,

so Temple is the answer there.

Would have scored you 5 points.

B is Paddington of course.

91 points for Paddington. And C?

-Oval.

-Oval, yeah, it's Oval.

And that would have scored you 31. I was thinking, "Black Hole, Blackhole?

"Tunnel?" Yeah, it's just Oval.

Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question,

Charlie and Ashley, you'll get to answer this one first

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five clues now

to facts about rugby union.

Can you give us the most obscure answer? Good luck.

Thanks very much, let's reveal our five clues,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read all of those one last time.

There we are, five clues to facts about rugby.

Charlie and Ashley, you'll go first.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go for the name of the Rugby School pupil,

and that's Webb Ellis.

Webb Ellis say Charlie and Ashley.

Webb Ellis. Now, Jim and Jacqueline.

D'you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

Don't know the top one. I think the second one's 40 minutes.

Erm, six points for a try, and 15 in a starting line-up. So 15.

OK, 15 in the starting line-up say Jim and Jacqueline.

So, Webb Ellis, said Charlie and Ashley.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said that.

Absolutely right of course.

Very well done, 10.

APPLAUSE

10 for Webb Ellis.

Jim and Jacqueline, you have said 15 in each team's starting line-up.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said that.

Well done.

Is it going to beat 10?

No, it's not. 34.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Charlie and Ashley,

that's exactly what we required of you.

You're back in the game after two questions, it's 1-1.

Well played, guys, you couldn't have beaten William Webb Ellis,

it's the best answer up there. Let's take a look at the other three.

The best one of the remaining ones is the coach,

that was Sir Clive Woodward.

He would have scored you 14 points.

The duration of each half, I'm sure you all know, is 40 minutes.

Would have scored you 47 points.

And the number of points is five, and that would have scored you 24 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard, so here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that decent jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Jane Austen Novels, Richard.

We're going to show you the titles of five Jane Austen novels, but we're

only going to show you the number of letters in each word of the title.

Can you work out which novels are up there? Best of luck.

Thanks very much, let's reveal our five clues to Jane Austen titles,

and here they are...

I'll read those again.

Jim and Jacqueline, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

OK. We know a few of them but we're going to go for the bottom one

and we're going to say Sense And Sensibility.

Sense And Sensibility, say Jim and Jacqueline. OK.

Now, Charlie and Ashley, do you fancy taking us through the board?

No.

We could add all the numbers up!

Pride And Prejudice is the middle one, but...

We'll have to go for that. That's the only one we can go for.

Is there ten letters in Atonement? Should we gamble on that?

-Pride And Prejudice is not going to win, is it?

-Go on, then.

We'll just guess at the one with ten letters on its own - Atonement.

OK, you're going to say Atonement. Charlie and Ashley say Atonement.

So Jim and Jacqueline said Sense And Sensibility.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

-36.

-APPLAUSE

Now, Charlie and Ashley said the ten-letter one is Atonement.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Atonement.

Ooh, bad luck, Charlie and Ashley. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Which means, Jim and Jacqueline, after three questions you are through to the final 2-1.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Jim and Jacqueline. Sorry, guys.

Atonement's only got nine letters.

If you put an S on the end for Atonements,

you would have scored 100 points, cos Atonement's an Ian McEwan novel

but Keira Knightley was in the film of it and was in the film of Pride And Prejudice as well.

Persuasion is the ten-letter one. And that would have scored you...

..32 points.

Pride And Prejudice just below it would have scored 57,

so it wouldn't have won you the points.

You did well to risk it, to be honest. The one at the top is...

-Emma.

-..Emma. It's the biggest scorer, actually.

66 points for that - beat Pride And Prejudice, even. And 10, 5?

-Northanger Abbey.

-Northanger Abbey for 30 points.

So, actually, Northanger Abbey is the best answer there.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid, is Charlie and Ashley.

What a great performance today, though.

Fantastic performance right through to the head-to-head but this is where we say goodbye.

-It's been great having you. Thanks for playing. Charlie and Ashley.

-Cheers.

-Thank you. Thanks a lot.

APPLAUSE

But for Jim and Jacqueline, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jim and Jacqueline.

You fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £4,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, we've taken you on a pretty thorough tour of general knowledge.

We started off with chemical elements with an O in their name,

then we had comedy catchphrases, then we had clues to the London Underground,

then we had rugby questions,

then we had Jane Austen,

and here you are with a pointless answer in your back pocket, as well,

for livermorium, which is wonderful.

As always, you kick this round off by choosing your category.

You have four options to choose from. They are...

Formula One - no. Famous Vans - can't even think.

We'll go for Dance Acts,

in the hope that it's a music question, not dance.

OK, you're going to go for Dance Acts. Dance Acts.

OK, good luck, guys. Going to give you three options here.

We're looking for any UK Top 40 single credited to

any of the following acts, please.

We're looking for any Daft Punk UK Top 40 single.

We're looking for any Fatboy Slim UK Top 40 single.

Or any Prodigy Top 40 single.

So any UK Top 40 single credited to one of those three artists, please.

-And all of those are up to August 2013.

-OK, thanks very much indeed.

As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot of £4,500

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Do remember, the answers you give can come from any of the categories.

Up to you how you spread them across. They can all come from the same one or one from each,

two from one, one from another. Entirely up to you. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

OK.

Er, so, Daft Punk - you've obviously got Get Lucky,

which is too recent. What about...

Is it Celebrate? Is that Daft Punk?

-Fatboy Slim, you've got...

-Praise You. Too obvious.

Firestarter was too big. Er...

Fatboy Slim. Er...

I can't think!

-Drawn a blank.

-I know!

Any other Daft Punk?

No, unless...

Something off the newest album.

Er...

Ten seconds left.

We could say Praise You, even though it's so obvious.

-Er...

-Funk Soul Brother.

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

-What are you going to give me?

-Fatboy Slim...

-Praise You.

-Praise You.

-Praise You.

-Daft Punk - Celebrate.

-Celebrate.

-And...

-Firestarter.

-The Prodigy - Firestarter.

-Firestarter. OK.

Now, of those three, which is your most likely to be pointless,

-do you think?

-Er...

-Praise You.

-Praise You.

-Praise You?

-We'll pop that last. Least likely?

-Daft Punk.

-Daft Punk.

-Daft Punk.

-Yep.

-The Daft Punk one, Celebrate?

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We have got...

Well, very best of luck. Your first answer, Celebrate,

you thought was least likely to be pointless.

But only one of them has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot, £4,500.

-What would you do if you won it, Jim?

-Probably New York for me.

-New York. Jacqueline?

-Well, it's my mum's 70th birthday next year.

I'd like to take her to Paris. So I would...

-After we've been to Paris, I'm going to New York!

-Lovely.

OK, well, best of luck. Three perfectly good answers on the board.

Who knows? Maybe one of them might be pointless.

Well, Celebrate, as I say, was your least confident answer.

Let's find out if that is, indeed, a Daft Punk song.

For £4,500, how many people said it?

Ooh, bad luck! An incorrect answer, I'm afraid.

Mind you, you weren't expecting that to be pointless, so that's fine.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer is Firestarter.

Again, this has to be correct, then it has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

So for £4,500, let's find out how money people said Firestarter was a prodigy single.

Well, it's right. Your first answer, Celebrate, was an incorrect answer.

Your second answer scores 58.

APPLAUSE

That's a big score for Firestarter there.

Only one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on Praise You.

You thought this was probably your most likely of the three to be pointless.

Let's hope that it is. It has to be correct,

then it has to be pointless to win that jackpot.

For £4,500, let's find out how many people said Praise You was a Fatboy Slim single.

Well, it's right. Your first answer, Celebrate, was an incorrect answer.

Your second answer, Firestarter, scored 58.

Now Praise You by Fatboy Slim

stops at 20. Oh, bad luck.

APPLAUSE

Well, that was a valiant attempt. It was quite a tough round for you, I think, but, unfortunately,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £4,500. That will roll over to the next show.

We've really enjoyed having you on the show - both shows, in fact - and you do, of course,

-get to take home a pointless trophy, so very well done.

-Thank you.

-Richard.

-Yeah, well played, guys. Sorry about that.

Celebrate - the Daft Punk song you're thinking of is One More Time,

which has the "celebrate" in the lyrics.

It would have scored you 11 points, One More Time.

Their biggest scorers - Around The World would have got even more, 19.

Get Lucky would have scored 33.

There's a few pointless answers from each of these categories, and some hits up there, as well.

For Daft Punk, Burnin' would have won you the money.

Digital Love, which is one of their big hits,

would have been a pointless answer, as would Musique.

Let's take a look at Fatboy Slim.

Demons was a pointless answer.

Star 69, Sunset (Bird of Prey).

Ya Mama was a pointless answer.

Everybody Needs A 303 also a pointless answer for Fatboy Slim.

And for the Prodigy, Baby's Got A Temper was a pointless answer.

Fire was a pointless answer - it was a double A-side with Jericho,

which would have scored one point.

One Love was a pointless answer. That would have been a good one.

And Ruff In The Jungle Bizzness, of course,

which was a double A-side with Out Of Space, would have scored you two.

Thanks very much indeed. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

Jim and Jacqueline. It's been brilliant having you. Thank you for playing. Jim and Jacqueline.

APPLAUSE

Sadly, Jim and Jacqueline didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show, when we will be playing for £5,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE