Episode 70 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number one.

-I'm Jamie. This is my grandad, Bob.

I'm from Hertfordshire and Bob's from South Bedfordshire.

-Couple number two.

-My name's Frankie.

I'm from Bristol, with my son-in-law, Darren.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Marjorie.

I'm from Warkworth in Northumberland.

This is my brother, Don, from Morpeth in Northumberland.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi. My name's Chris. This is Trudy. We're friends.

I'm from Newcastle upon Tyne. Trudy's from Stamford in Northumberland.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His nickname at college was Little Richard,

which you might think was ironic,

but it was cos he was really into Gospel music.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

APPLAUSE Hiya.

-Good afternoon.

-And to you, Richard.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

There's some nice relationships amongst today's pairs.

-I always think a grandfather/grandson team is a nice team.

-Very nice.

That's what we've got on podium one.

On podium two, we're got father-in-law/son-in-law.

Guys, with respect, I always worry about it. Don't you think?

Come on! If Darren messes up, Frankie,

there's always going to be a bit of you going, "Could have done better!"

You're going to be blaming your daughter a bit.

And podiums three and four, I think they're all Northumbrian.

All Northumbrians. This is heaven for me.

-That's nice. Should be a cracking show.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people.

As ever, the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Jim and Jacqueline didn't win the jackpot last time,

which means we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at...

APPLAUSE

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, the pair with the highest score

at the end of the round will, of course, be eliminated.

Remember at all times - there is to be no conferring.

Our first category for today is...

Fictional characters.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Fictional servants, Richard.

On each pass, we're going to show you

seven descriptions of famous fictional butlers,

valets, manservants, all that sort of thing,

you just need to give us the most obscure answer.

14 clues in all, 14 to guess at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much.

So we are looking for the fictional servants described by these clues.

Here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one final time.

There we are. Seven clues to seven fictional servants

and, Bob, you all drew lots before the show.

Today, you and Jamie are going to go first.

Bob, welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Bob?

-I'm now retired.

-What did you do?

-I was in retail management.

-Did you do anything else?

-I was a driving instructor. Town centre manager.

-Town centre manager!

-The centre of which town?

-Letchworth.

-Wonderful.

-What kind of things were you doing?

-Organising events

and different things to get people coming to the town of Letchworth.

A lot of people going to the town of Letchworth. That's your legacy, Bob.

Well done. Now then, which of these tickles your fancy?

There's several I know on there.

I'm going to go for the top one, that's Lurch.

Lurch, says Bob. Let's see if that's right

and if it is how many of our 100 people said it.

Absolutely right.

-51 for Lurch.

-APPLAUSE

Great start, Bob. Well done.

Funnily enough, Ted Cassidy also almost always played the hand,

-the disembodied hand as well.

-Oh, really? That's nice.

-Bit of information.

-Did he get any extra cash for his hand acting?

Yeah. Didn't pay tax either, it was cash in hand.

LAUGHTER AND GROANS

Yeah, I know.

Right. Now, Frankie. Welcome. What do you do, Frankie?

I'm a minibus driver, taking children with special needs

-to and from school.

-What do you like getting up to in your spare time?

Singing and entertaining in pubs and clubs around the local area.

-Do a bit of stand up as well, so...

-Excellent. Good stuff.

So what are you going to go for?

This is not very good for me, actually.

I'm going to take a punt at the third one down.

Surely there must be a butler called James.

Frankie says James. Let's see if James is right.

Bad luck, Frankie. Good guess, but an incorrect answer,

-scores you the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

-Sorry, Frankie.

There'll be a butler called James somewhere, I'm sure,

but not in Upstairs, Downstairs, not Gordon Jackson's character.

-Thanks very much, Richard. Marjorie, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

From Warkworth. What do you in Warkworth?

I'm a retired primary school teacher.

I like painting and sketching, walking along the beach,

Italian conversation every week.

-Just in the streets of Warkworth?

-Sometimes!

Occasionally. OK. How good is your conversation in Italian?

Non c'e male.

Oh, that's a shame. LAUGHTER

Good stuff.

Marjorie, there you are, there's a board of fictional servants.

Well, um... I hope...

Fourth one down, Jeeves.

You're going to say Jeeves, Bertie Wooster's valet.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Jeeves.

It's right, of course.

68. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yes, Reginald Jeeves. You said "valet" instead of "val-ay",

I presume that's right. You know your stuff.

We're never going to say "val-ay".

It's French!

-That's French, is it?

-Yeah.

I must come round to those conversational French classes at your house.

-Oh, you should!

-You always say to me, "Come round, it's on Dimanche,"

and I literally don't know when to come.

-Dimanche is the street I live on.

-LAUGHTER

-Thanks very much. Now then, Trudy.

-Hello.

Trudy, we discovered last time, the great love of your life is Zumba.

-It is.

-What exactly is Zumba?

-It's like sort of a Latin rhythm,

but you just shake everything you've got and just jump around.

It's actually... It's exercise, but it's enjoyable exercise.

You should give it a go.

I am... I am almost sold on it.

That sounds fantastic. You're the last person to have this board.

Do you fancy talking us through as much of it as you can?

Well, I'd like to, but I don't know the second one down.

I do feel like I should know the third one down.

I've got Banks in my mind, but I don't know whether that's right.

I don't know the Remains Of The Day one.

The butler in Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, I've got

Kennedy in my mind for that, but I don't think that's right,

so I'm going to go for the bottom one, Bruce Wayne's butler,

-which is Alfred.

-Alfred, says Trudy. Let's see if Alfred's right.

Let's see how many people said Alfred.

Well, it's our best correct score so far. Very well done. Look at that.

-24 for Alfred.

-APPLAUSE

Good answer.

Well played, Trudy. Played by Michael Caine,

also played by Michael Gough in the previous films.

24 points. There's a couple of toughies here.

The butler in Upstairs, Downstairs is not James, it's Hudson.

Would have scored you 21 points.

The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, I bet you can see him,

-and his name is...Geoffrey.

-Yeah.

Would have scored you 17 points.

The narrator of the Kazuo Ishiguro novel,

played by Anthony Hopkins in the film -

Stevens.

-Yeah.

-Would have scored 1 point.

And the other one is a pointless answer. In Chigley.

It's Brackett.

Very well done if you got that. It's a terrific answer. Brackett.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

24, the best score of that pass.

That puts Trudy and Chris in a strong position.

Then up to 51, where we find Bob and Jamie.

Then up to 68, where we find Marjorie and Don

and up to 100, where we find Frankie and Darren.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

We're going to put seven more descriptions of fictional servants

on the board and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, seven clues to seven fictional servants.

Chris, obviously, you're going to try

and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew. Remind us what you do.

I'm an administrator at Newcastle University.

We discovered last time you spend a lot of your time travelling abroad.

I have done, yeah. I've been to many different places.

-Handing out brochures.

-Yeah, basically!

-And encouraging people to come and study in the North East.

-Absolutely.

So people you've personally recruited have come through

-and graduated.

-They have indeed. They probably all failed.

I wouldn't believe that for a second, Chris!

You're the first person to dive in on this board,

so why not see if you can find a nice low-scoring answer?

I have to say my heart rather sank when I saw the category,

but there is one up there that I know,

which is Lady Penelope's butler in Thunderbirds

-and that is Parker.

-Parker, says Chris. Parker.

There you are on 24.

The high scorers are Darren and Frankie on 100.

If you can get below that red line and score 75 or less, you are through to the next round.

Let's see if Parker's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Well done, Chris. That's everything it needed to be.

54, it scores you.

-APPLAUSE

-78 is your total.

Yes, he was a safe cracker

before becoming Lady Penelope's butler and chauffeur.

Gerry Anderson said it was the favourite of all his creations

-in all of his series, Parker.

-I can see why.

-Yeah.

-Very good.

Don, welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

What have you done in your life?

I left school when I was 16 and worked down the mine.

Went to college, became an analytical chemist

and a production manager with a pharmaceutical company,

had a spell in teaching.

I've worked for an educational charity.

And I also worked for a cigarette company.

But what ELSE have you done? LAUGHTER

-What do you do for fun, Don?

-I watch Morpeth Rugby Club every Saturday.

I have an allotment. I play golf.

I play dominoes every Friday night and take money off my friends.

A friend of mine has a boat and we go out sea fishing.

I do a bit of beating at shoots and I go lobstering in the summer.

But what ELSE do you do, Don? LAUGHTER

-Now, that is a fabulous life. Listen to that.

-I enjoy it, yes.

-Now then, Don. How do we feel about this board?

-Dreadful.

-Oh, really?

I should know the butler in Downton Abbey,

but I can't remember his name.

So I'll just have to have a guess and say Thompson.

Thompson, says Don, for the butler in Downton Abbey.

Let's see if Thompson's right. Let's see how many people said it.

There's your red line.

Oh, but there's your red cross, I'm afraid, Don.

That's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 168.

You may still be through. You never know.

-Sorry, Don. It is a tougher board, this one.

-It is. Thanks very much.

-Darren, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here.

-What do you do?

-I work for a company that fits out pubs.

That's just a dream job, isn't it?

That's the one job missing from Don's CV.

LAUGHTER

You're a beer fitter.

-A beer technician.

-A beer tech...! Of course you are!

A beer technician.

Brilliant. You're on 100. The high scorers are Don and Marjorie on 168.

If you can score 67 or less, you are through to the next round.

How do you find the board?

Horrible. I'm not going to lie!

I'm going to have a guess at the butler

voiced by Jack May in Count Duckula was Godfrey.

Godfrey. Is that a complete guess?

That is a complete guess.

There is your red line. If you get below that red line with Godfrey,

you are through to the next round. Let's see if Godfrey is right.

Let's see how many people said it.

No. Bad luck, Darren.

I'm afraid Godfrey is an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 200.

Not Godfrey, I'm afraid.

At least Frankie got 100 as well, so I think you got away with it!

LAUGHTER

Thanks. Now, Jamie. Welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

-What do you do, Jamie?

-I'm a software engineer.

And when you're not working at your computer, what do you get up to?

I really enjoy playing football,

playing golf and just generally keeping fit as well.

-I like to go to the gym maybe four or five times a week.

-OK, good.

That's a lot of times a week. Now then, this board is all yours.

-Before you venture onto it, how do we feel about it?

-Terrible.

I'm so happy that I haven't got to give a correct answer.

Who said you haven't got to give a correct answer?

LAUGHTER

-Did you say that?

-No, he's worked it out, though.

No, you will survive if you don't give a correct answer.

I'd like to think we all would. I think a correct answer is in order.

I wouldn't put my hopes on it, he's changed the rules.

Well, do you want to just talk us through the board?

See if anything suddenly springs to mind.

Absolutely no idea for the first.

I'm going to have a guess at the butler in Downton Abbey and say...

Barry.

LAUGHTER

Barry Butler.

LAUGHTER

OK, Jamie is saying Barry the Butler.

There's no red line for you

because you're already through, just as well.

LAUGHTER

Let's find out if Barry's right for the butler.

No, I'm afraid it's not.

An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points,

takes your total up to 151.

But you are through. Very well done.

That was a tough round, Richard.

Well... We'll fill in the board. It might take some while.

Now, the butler in Downton Abbey, it's not Barry, it is...

Carson.

Carson is the answer. 17 points for him.

The other biggest scorer on there is Clouseau's manservant.

-Cato.

-Cato, yeah. Would have scored 24 points.

Now, the butler in the film Clue...

was Wadsworth.

Would have scored you 1 point.

The butler in Arthur, played by John Gielgud,

was Hobson.

Would have scored you 2 points.

The butler in Count Duckula

was Igor.

Igor would have scored you 5 points.

And the manservant in Rocky Horror Picture Show, do you know that one?

Riff Raff.

Riff Raff is the right answer. Would have scored you 7.

So there's four answers there in single figures.

That is a very, very tough board.

Thank you very much indeed.

So at the end of our first round, the pair heading home with 200,

I'm afraid it's Frankie and Darren.

That wasn't a kind round for you, was it? I'm sorry.

Not much of a welcome to Pointless.

But you will be back next time,

when I can't promise you it'll be easier,

but I'd like to think you'll have an easier ride of it.

Meantime, it's been lovely having you on the show. Thanks for playing, Darren and Frankie.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And so three pairs remain.

We will be saying goodbye to another pair at the end of this round.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Politicians. Can you decide in your pairs who's going first and second?

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Home Secretaries, Richard.

-If there's one thing I've learnt in Pointless,

-it's that people love a round about politics.

-Oh, don't they?

-Yeah, it's their favourite.

-Yeah.

Xander's going to show you the names of five Prime Ministers.

We need you to tell us the name of anyone

who acted as Home Secretary under any of those Prime Ministers, please.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

Now, as Richard mentioned, we're going to put the names of five

Prime Ministers up on the board and they'll stay up for the whole round,

as we go up the line and as we come back down.

We just want the names of any Home Secretaries who served under

any of these Prime Ministers. And our five Prime Ministers are...

So there we are. We are looking for Home Secretaries.

Bob, you are going to go first.

Thank you.

Not my good subject, I must admit that. Home Secretaries...

-Jack Straw.

-Jack Straw, says Bob. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jack Straw.

Absolutely right, of course.

25.

APPLAUSE

-25 for Jack Straw.

-Well played, Bob.

Blair's Home Secretary between '97 and 2001.

-Thanks very much. Now then, Don.

-Yeah.

Well, I hope I've got the Christian name right.

I'm going to say David Blunkett.

David Blunkett, says Don.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said David Blunkett.

Absolutely right, of course.

Our only score so far is Jack Straw and that was 25.

David Blunkett passes that,

down it goes to 14.

Very well done indeed, Don. Good answer.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Don, also served under Blair, 2001-2004.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Chris, what are you going to go for?

Don't know whether to take a bit of a risk or play safe.

I'm going to go with Theresa May.

Theresa May. Now, is that your playing safe or taking a risk?

-Er, safe.

-OK, Theresa May. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Theresa May.

It's right. 25 is our high score, 14 our low. Theresa May...

30.

All safe and sound so far.

She was appointed Home Secretary after the 2010 elections.

Thanks very much. Well, halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores as they stand. 14, Don.

Very much the best score of that pass, well done, you.

Then up to 25 where we find Bob and Jamie.

Up to 30 where we find Chris and Trudy.

You're not too far ahead, Trudy, but a nice, low-scoring answer

from you will keep you in the game. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, now, Trudy.

Remember, we are looking for Home Secretaries

who served under any of these Prime Ministers.

This really isn't my category at all.

I'm just going to pluck a name out of the air,

I'm afraid that's all I can do, and I'll say Margaret Beckett.

Margaret Beckett, says Trudy.

No red line for you as you are the high scorers

but let's see how many people said Margaret Beckett.

Ooh, bad luck, Trudy.

I'm sorry to say that is an incorrect answer,

which takes your total up to 130 points, having scored you 100.

Sorry, Trudy,

she was the first female Foreign Secretary, Margaret Beckett.

Thanks very much, Richard. Marjorie.

I've got great news for you, you are through to the head-to-head.

Even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake the high score of Trudy and Chris.

But I think you might have a good answer.

I'm glad YOU think so, Alexander.

I'm going to say straight out Willie Whitelaw.

William Whitelaw says Marjorie.

OK, Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

No red line for you as you are already through.

It's right.

Look at that. Very well done indeed, Marjorie.

6 points for William Whitelaw.

Takes your total up to 20, very well done.

Great answer, Marjorie.

Yeah, he was Thatcher's first Home Secretary from '79 to '83.

She very famously said,

"Every Prime Minister needs a Willie." That was her...

I didn't want to say that.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Jamie.

Jamie, again, you are already through which is good news,

-you are in the head-to-head.

-Very good news.

Yeah, not a good category again but I'm going to have a guess

and I'm going to say George Osborne.

George Osborne says Jamie.

Well, let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Bad luck, Jamie, that's an incorrect answer,

scores you the maximum of 100 points, takes your total up to 125.

Sorry, Jamie, at time of recording,

Cameron's only had one Home Secretary and that was Theresa May, of course.

George Osborne, Chancellor.

Let's take a look at the answers by the different people.

Tony Blair, you could have had Charles Clarke for 4,

you could have had John Reid for 8

and we've already had Jack Straw and David Blunkett.

For Margaret Thatcher, we've already had William Whitelaw.

You could have had David Waddington for 1.

You could've had Leon Brittan for 1

or Douglas Hurd for 12.

Now, there's two pointless answers under the Harold Wilson category.

You could've had Roy Jenkins, one of Harold Wilson's Home Secretaries,

or you could've had Frank Soskice.

You could have also had James Callaghan in that category for 6.

Gordon Brown, you could have had Alan Johnson for 1

or Jacqui Smith for 4.

And David Cameron, we've already heard Theresa May.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid it's Trudy and Chris leaving us with 130.

I thought you were going to be through to the head-to-head

-at least.

-What can you do, eh?

-What can you do? I'm sorry.

I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye

but it's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. Trudy and Chris.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Don and Marjorie, Jamie and Bob.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot which currently stands at...

So, now, we have to decide who is going to play for that money

and to do that, you are now going head-to-head.

The difference is you are now allowed to confer and the first

pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Gangster movies, Richard.

We're going to show you five images from well-known gangster films,

you just have to name the films, please.

OK, let's reveal our five images and here they come. We have got...

There we are, five images from five gangster movies.

Now, Don and Marjorie,

you have played best throughout the show so far so you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We're going for the first one. Mean Streets.

Mean Streets say Don and Marjorie for A. Mean Streets.

Now, Jamie and Bob.

We're going for D, Bonnie And Clyde.

-D, Bonnie And Clyde.

-After much discussion(!)

He didn't know any of them.

OK, so we have Mean Streets versus Bonnie And Clyde.

Now, Don and Marjorie said Mean Streets.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, Don and Marjorie.

Jamie and Bob, you merely have to be correct with

Bonnie And Clyde for D and you will win this point.

Let's see if they are right, Bonnie and Clyde.

They're right.

50.

50 you scored but it merely had to be correct for you to win

the point and after one question, you are up 1-0. Very well done.

-And Jamie's run continues.

-Yes.

-He's done very well, hasn't he?

-Very impressive.

-At least I'm consistent.

-Exactly.

Now, C, is Road To Perdition.

It's a brilliant score as well, it would have got you 6 points.

And A, it's not Mean Streets,

it's another Martin Scorsese film.

-It's Goodfellas.

-Goodfellas, yes.

That would have scored you 25 points.

Best answer up there, you won't be surprised to hear, is B,

it's a pointless answer.

It's Infernal Affairs,

another terrific film.

Very well done if you said that.

And the final answer up there...

If I told you that's

a very, very young Jodie Foster?

-Bugsy Malone.

-Bugsy Malone.

Absolutely.

And that would have scored 33.

Thanks very much indeed.

But unfortunately, you're working against the curse of Jamie.

LAUGHTER

They are almost impossible to beat, this team, I'm afraid.

OK, here comes your second question.

Don and Marjorie have to win this one to stay in the game.

Very best of luck. It concerns...

You've got to win this.

-Styles of skirt, Richard.

-Finally, Jamie.

LAUGHTER

Finally, your specialised subject comes up.

We're going to show you the names of five styles of skirts now

but we've missed out alternate letters from them.

Can you fill in those gaps and give us the answer? Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our five styles of skirt with missing bits

and here they are...

I'll read those again without the blanks.

Jamie and Bob, you will go first this time.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We think the top one's pencil.

OK. Is that yours, Jamie?

No.

LAUGHTER

I did actually get one, I'll say what it is afterwards.

Bob and Jamie are going for pencil.

Now then, Don and Marjorie, do you fancy talking us through the board?

Over to you, Don.

Yes, pencil and hobble.

Kilt.

Mini's the bottom one but I don't know the fourth one

so we'll just go for hobble.

You're going to go for hobble.

So we have pencil and hobble. Jamie and Bob said pencil.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

34.

APPLAUSE

Now, Don and Marjorie have said hobble for the second one down.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Well, it's right.

Now, to keep you in the game, this has to go down lower than 34.

And it does, very well done.

20.

APPLAUSE

You've broken back, Don and Marjorie, very well done.

After two questions, it's 1-1.

Well played, Don, we've got a real head-to-head on our hands.

-Now, Jamie, which is the one you knew there?

-Mini.

Mini.

Well, I have to say you've smashed your previous Pointless record of 100

by seven, it would've scored 93 points.

Kilt would have scored 47.

And the one that no-one can get there - wraparound.

Wraparound would have scored you 8 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through

to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

LAUGHTER

-Richard.

-This has got Jamie written all over it, hasn't it?

What a narrative for the show, it's like Rocky.

Jamie's been the underdog all the way through,

and suddenly, right at the last second,

it's 1-1 in the head-to-head and he comes through,

he's the hero on the final answer,

saving his grandfather in the process.

I'm already slightly tearing up at the prospect.

We're going to show you five clues now to facts about heavy metal

or hard rock music.

We just need you to give us the most obscure answer and the team that does

that is going to play for the jackpot so very best of luck to all of you.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So let's reveal our five clues to facts about heavy metal

and hard rock and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about heavy metal and hard rock.

Don and Marjorie. I dare say you can hardly hold yourselves back.

Yeah, exactly.

I know one, do you know?

THEY CONFER

We'll go for the first one, Ozzy Osbourne.

Ozzy Ozbourne say Don and Marjorie.

Now then, Jamie and Bob, can you talk us

through the rest of the board?

I know the top one, Ozzy Osbourne.

Jamie can talk you through the rest.

I think maybe Lordi won for...

Israel?

ALEXANDER AND RICHARD HUM THEME TO ROCKY

APPLAUSE

We need some shots of Jamie jogging along the beach

with a towel around his neck and Bob on a bicycle.

"There is no tomorrow."

-LAUGHTER

-OK.

Don and Marjorie have said Ozzy Osbourne,

the original lead singer of the band Black Sabbath.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

46.

APPLAUSE

Lordi won Eurovision for this country in 2006. Jamie says Israel.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Oh, dear.

Oh, Jamie, I'm so sorry.

Oh, bad luck.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer which means,

Don and Marjorie, very well done.

After three questions, you have triumphed 2-1, very well done.

Yeah, it wasn't Israel.

It's worth a punt if you don't know the others

but it was Finland with Hard Rock Hallelujah.

23 points.

The 1980 AC/DC album?

-Back In Black.

-Back In Black, yeah.

Would have scored you 6 points.

The Def Leppard drummer is Rick Allen.

He would have scored you 7 points.

And the band whose members were Page, Plant, Bonham and Jones?

-Led Zeppelin.

-Of course.

And that would have scored you 33

so Back In Black is the best answer there.

Well done if you got all five of them.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, it's Jamie and Bob.

Well, it's been a rocky ride but you've done incredibly well.

You've come through to the head-to-head

and it was very close there.

Well, never mind, the good news is we get to see you again next time

but in the meantime, thanks very much for playing, Jamie and Bob.

APPLAUSE

But for Don and Marjorie, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Don and Marjorie, you've fought off all

the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

APPLAUSE

Well, as always, you kick off this round by choosing a category

and you have four options to choose from and they are...

Wow.

I don't know anything about Russian Culture.

Some things might come up in that.

Martina, I might know a little about tennis.

I don't think we know enough about that.

-Blackpool, all I know is about the tower, really.

-Elton John, no.

-I quite fancy Russian Culture.

-Go on, then.

-Russian Culture.

OK, Russian Culture, it is. Richard.

We're going to give you three different categories

to choose from here. Very best of luck.

We are looking for any...

That includes short novels and novellas.

I know for some people at home, this is like their dreams have come true.

For most people at home, it's like...

And fingers crossed it's a dream come true for you two.

Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot of £5,500

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Now, remember, the answers you provide can come

from any of these categories,

you can spread them across those categories how you like.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-War And Peace.

-Anna Karenina.

-Was it Cherry Orchard?

-That was Chekhov.

Everyone will know that one.

-Dostoyevsky?

-Don't know any.

Who wrote Doctor Zhivago?

-Not him.

-No.

-He might have done. Try it.

-We can try it.

The Cherry Orchard, Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard.

-No, not got any more of that one.

-Doctor Zhivago?

Was it Tolstoy who wrote the Brothers Kara...Kana...?

Karamazov, right.

-Was that Tolstoy?

-I don't know.

-Ten seconds left.

-That's all we've got.

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

-For Tolstoy, we're having Anna Karenina.

-Anna Karenina.

-For Chekhov, The Cherry Orchard.

-The Cherry Orchard.

And Brothers Karamazov, I don't know how to pronounce that.

-And The Brothers Karamazov for...?

-Dostoyevsky.

-For Dostoyevsky.

OK, of those three, which is

your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

-The Brothers.

-OK, we'll pop that last. Which is your least likely?

-The Cherry Orchard.

-The Cherry Orchard, we'll put that first.

OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order

and here they are, we have got...

Well, very best of luck, your first answer was The Cherry Orchard.

You thought this was probably your least likely to be pointless

but remember, only one of these answers needs to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £5,500.

What would you do with that if you won it, Don?

Probably go on a holiday with my wife and give some to my kids.

Marjorie, how about you?

-Money to my grandchildren and a big party, I think.

-Quite right.

Well, best of luck.

Let's hope that at least one of these answers is pointless.

Your first answer is The Cherry Orchard.

In this case, we were looking for plays by Chekhov.

Obviously, this has to be correct

and pointless for you to win that jackpot so, for £5,500,

let's see how many of our 100 people said The Cherry Orchard.

It's right.

Now, Don didn't think this was going to go all the way down,

let's see how far down it does go.

It's going down through the 30s, through the 20s.

Still going down,

16, not bad.

Not a bad score.

You'd be very glad of 16 in normal play, I think, wouldn't you?

But, obviously, in this round,

we're only interested in pointless answers and that is not

a pointless answer so only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Anna Karenina.

In this case, we were looking for novels by Tolstoy.

Again, it has to be correct and pointless to win the jackpot,

so for £5,500, let's see how many people said Anna Karenina.

Well, again, it's a correct answer.

Your first answer was The Cherry Orchard,

which took us all the way down to 16.

Your second answer taking us down through the teens...

to 18.

APPLAUSE

OK, so only one more chance to win today's jackpot.

So, in this last instance, you've said The Brothers Karamazov,

we are looking for novels by Dostoyevsky.

This has to be correct,

then it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so for £5,500, let's see how many of our 100 people said

The Brothers Karamazov was a novel by Dostoyevsky.

Well, it's right.

Your first answer, The Cherry Orchard, took us down to 16.

Your second answer, Anna Karenina, took us down to 18.

Down we go into single figures with The Brothers Karamazov...

to 4! Oh, bad luck!

APPLAUSE

Three good answers there. Sadly, not pointless.

You didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £5,500.

That will roll over on to the next show

but we've loved having you on the show,

it's been a real pleasure, and you do, of course,

get to take home a Pointless trophy each so very well done for that.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played, Don and Marjorie.

I bet you're just relieved to get three correct answers in that

last one. I think that's good going.

Anyone who did that at home, very well done.

Let's look at some pointless answers. Firstly, for the Leo Tolstoy novels.

There's a few up there but I'll tell you,

the only ones that scored points at all were War And Peace,

which would have scored you 56, Anna Karenina

and The Death Of Ivan Ilyich, which would have scored you 1.

Let's take a look at a few pointless answers for the Chekhov plays.

And again, I'll just lead you through the ones that would've scored

points which are The Cherry Orchard,

The Seagull which would have scored 9,

Three Sisters, 7, Uncle Vanya would have scored you 4.

And we'll take a look at Dostoyevsky now.

There's a few of his pointless answers including

Humiliated And Insulted,

Poor Folk, The Adolescent, The House Of The Dead.

The ones that would have scored points -

Crime And Punishment would have scored 17,

The Idiot would have scored you 4, The Gambler, 2,

Notes From The Underground would have scored you 1.

But very well played for getting three correct answers

and a Pointless trophy.

Very well done indeed.

Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Don and Marjorie,

but it's been wonderful having you on the show,

thank you both so much for playing. Don and Marjorie, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Don and Marjorie didn't win our jackpot today

so it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for...

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-In the meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE