Episode 10 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello.

I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi. My name's Tony. This is my friend John, and we're from Middlesbrough.

Couple number two.

Hello. My name's Jane. This is my daughter Kate, and we're from Preston.

Couple number three.

Hello. My name's Dave. This is my friend Erica, and we're from Cardiff.

And couple number four.

Hello. I'm Dean. This is my brother Ryan, and we're from Cambridgeshire.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's got intellect, he's got glamour,

he's a tiny little bit of spinach stuck in his teeth.

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

Hello.

-Afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Two shows in a row now we've given away the jackpot.

-I know.

How about that. They often come in threes, these things.

-So, uh, it could be good news for someone here today.

-Mmm.

Er, two returning pairs. Ryan and Dean, who did very, very well last time.

Got all the way to the head-to-head, so they'll be looking to go one step further.

We got on that first podium, John and Tony.

I thought they would go all the way last time, but they got knocked out in the first round.

But I predict great things if they can get past Round One.

-Don't you think?

-I think so. Thanks, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

As ever, the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer -

that's an answer that none of our 100 people were able to give.

And each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Kirsten and Catherine won the jackpot last time,

so we start off today with a jackpot of £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, the pair with their highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

And also, remember, you are not allowed to confer during the round itself.

OK, our first category today...

..is Music.

It's music.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Song titles containing boys' names, Richard.

On each pass, we'll show you the names of seven UK top 40 singles,

all of which contain a boy's name.

We just need you to tell us the name of the act who had a top 40 single with that song, please.

There will be 14 in all to have a go at at home, so very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, we are looking for the artists who had hits with these songs containing boys' names,

and in the year shown.

Here's our first board.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Tony and John, you all drew lots before the show, and today you are going to go first.

Tony, welcome back.

-You and John have known each other how long?

-Ooh, 30-odd years.

How many quizzes have you done together over the years?

-Countless...

-Yeah.

-..is the short answer, isn't it? Yeah.

Erm, and you've won things, haven't you?

-You won a quiz in Germany - that's all I'm saying.

-We did.

-Really?

-They won a quiz in Germany.

-Where was it?

-Germany.

-LAUGHTER

-Come on. Come on.

Thank you. Thank goodness.

Er, where was it in Germany?

Well, we were in Mainz and we couldn't find a quiz,

so we went the next day in Cologne, and that's where we won it, in Cologne.

-Very good.

-In an Irish pub.

How kindly did they take to people turning up in their Irish pub and walking off with the trophy?

Er, actually, it was a very enjoyable experience.

They were very good to us.

Anyway, listen - Tony, there we are.

There's your first board. What are you going to go for?

Er, my one, I'm going to play super-safe.

-Er, Daniel - Elton John.

-Elton John, says Tony, for Daniel.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Elton John.

48.

APPLAUSE

-48 for Elton John.

-Yeah, a number four hit for Elton John, that.

-In German, it's...

-GERMAN ACCENT

-..Daniel.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

And in Newcastle, as well.

LAUGHTER

No, that was a very good nor...

That's, like, a Cologne accent I was doing. They're almost identical.

If any people from Cologne were watching,

they would have, just for a second, looked at their telly as if they were back in, er, the homeland.

Cos it was extraordinarily accurate.

Daniel - that's German for Daniel.

Do you know what the German for Elton John is?

-GERMAN ACCENT

-Elton John?

-No.

No, it is Elton Johann.

HE LAUGHS

All right, OK.

-Thank you.

-That's a pleasure.

-Er, Kate. Have you ever been to Cologne?

-I haven't, no.

Cos when you go there, that's what it's like.

-THEY LAUGH

-Erm, what do you do, Kate?

I'm a civil servant.

-Can I ask which department of the civil service?

-I'm afraid not, no.

Well, that's... Well, that's me told, isn't it? Wow.

Erm, OK. Right. I... I... Good. Thank you for that.

Er, what do you do in your spare time?

I'm a big football fan.

Erm, I'm a season-ticket holder for Preston North End,

and I've been going there for over 20 years now with my mum.

Very good indeed. Now then, what about these songs with boys' names in?

-A bit of a disaster.

-SHE LAUGHS

Erm, I think the only one I knew is gone.

So I think my mum's going to kill me now,

cos I'm just going to have to do a random guess at something.

I'm just going to have to make something up.

And I'll go for Denis.

-And I'll go for Kim Wilde.

-Kim Wilde. OK. Kim Wilde, says Kate.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how any people said Kim Wilde for Denis.

Is it that bad?

Bad luck, Kate, I'm afraid - Denis not by Kim Wilde, it turns out.

-That scores you the maximum of 100 points. Sorry.

-Yeah, sorry, Kate.

Not Kim Wilde. And I'm not at liberty to tell you the answer, I'm afraid.

Can't, er... I'm afraid it's confidential. Classified.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, presumably, there will come a time at some stage

when that will be unclassified, declassified.

In 30 years' time, I'll be able to tell you who had a hit with Denis, yeah.

Er, now, Erica, welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Erica?

-Er, I'm a tenancy support officer.

Very good. And how do you and Dave know each other?

Erm, we met 30 years ago in a burger bar.

It was July 4th - Independence Day -

and I'd been out with a couple of friends at a party,

and Dave had also been out with a group of friends at a party.

And we all converged, aligned, in this burger bar, and we met that way.

And 30 years later, here you are on Pointless.

-30 years later.

-How incredible.

How many other people from that burger bar on 4th July have you kept up with?

-There's a few.

-Yeah. There's at least three others.

-And that's...of that group.

-Is the burger bar still there?

-Yes.

-No - it blew up.

-It blew up, did it?

-Oh, it blew up.

-LAUGHTER

-OK, there we are.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

Yes - at some time in the early hours of 5th July, 30 years ago.

It's definitely one... It's still there or it blew up - It's one or the other, definitely.

OK, Erica, there we are. Lots of, er...

There are still six unanswered on that board.

There's one I'm not sure about,

and I think it is, but I daren't say, just in case I'm wrong.

But there's two on there I know. So I'll probably play safe.

And I'll play safe with Sloop John B - the Beach Boys.

The Beach Boys for Sloop John B, says Erica.

Let's see that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said the Beach Boys.

There we are. 30. Well done, Erica. Best score so far.

Well played, Erica. Number two hit for the Beach Boys.

Originally a Caribbean folk song, a traditional old song.

-Thinks very much. Er, now, then, Ryan.

-Hello.

For some reason, I have a feeling you're going to be very good at this round.

-Erm, but remind us what you do.

-Er, I work in film and video production.

Erm, and I do a bit of voiceover work and a bit of acting as well.

I like the way he gestures to me for voiceover work.

-That's weird, that, isn't it?

-It's good, isn't it?

Do you do voice-overs?

-I've done a few.

-I never noticed.

LAUGHTER

But, erm, anyway. So, what sort of things have you voiced over, Ryan?

Erm, supermarket commercials,

er, a bit of radio stuff, er, short documentaries...

-Erm, yeah, just...

-It's fun.

-Yeah, it's fun. It's good, yeah.

-It's a nice gig, isn't it?

Can you to do the rest of this in voiceover, erm, voices?

I don't work for free - I'm sorry.

LAUGHTER

Er, whereas I, on the other hand, you know...

-As you well know...

-Yeah.

Er, now, Ryan, this board is all yours.

I think you can probably answer the bulk of them,

if not all of them.

Erm, there's a few I think...

I think The Ballad of Bonnie And Clyde is by Serge Gainsbourg.

I'm not entirely sure.

Erm... Cotton Eye Joe is by Rednex, Denis is by Blondie,

and I'm not sure about the other two.

But I think the one I'm going to go for is Cotton Eye Joe,

er, and that's Rednex.

Rednex, says Ryan, for Cotton Eye Joe.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Rednex.

It's right.

Well, 48's our high score for a correct answer,

so you've passed that.

30 our low score - you've passed that.

10 for Rednex.

APPLAUSE

Good answer, Ryan. Good score.

Well played, Ryan. It's one of those songs that so catchy.

I'm really hoping there's another catchy song on the next board to get it out of my head.

That's my, er... That's my vain, I'm sure, hope.

Er, now, The Ballad Of Bonnie And Clyde - not Serge Gainsbourg.

It was a number one hit in 1967 for Georgie Fame.

Would have scored you 9 points.

Denis - you're right - was Blondie.

So you can see where the Kim Wilde thought came from.

32 points for that.

Worried About Ray, at the bottom. Do you remember that one?

-That's quite a catchy song as well.

-Yeah, I know it very well.

-It's one of those... not Boo Radleys...

-It's the Hoosiers.

-The Hoosiers - exactly.

-The Hoosiers.

-Yeah.

That would have scored you 11 points.

This last one is a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said Eddie Calvert.

Eddie Calvert - pointless answer.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

10 the best score of that pass, Ryan. Very well done indeed.

That puts Dean in a very comfortable position for the next pass.

Er, then we travel up to 30 were we find Erica and Dave.

48, Tony and John.

And I'm afraid it's up to 100 for Kate and Jane.

Er, best of luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players step up to the podium.

OK, let's put seven more songs on the board.

And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Seven songs with boys' names in the title.

Dean, you're going to try and find the lowest scoring one you know.

-Now, welcome back, Dean.

-Thank you.

Now, every so often, when we have people on the show,

I like to play my little "looks a little bit like" game.

-Yeah.

-Oh, no.

-Yeah.

I've got a "looks a little bit like" for you, Dean.

-It is a good one.

-Oh, OK.

-It's a good one.

I just wonder if you've heard it before. Simon Russell Beale.

-No.

-No?

-That's one of not had.

-It might just be my eyes.

-Yeah.

Is that Ian Beale's dad?

-Yeah.

-HE LAUGHS

That's the one, yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah, no, it's good. It's a great person to look like.

-Great actor.

-Yeah, great actor, certainly. Certainly that.

Er, now then, Dean, how are we feeling about these songs with boys' names in?

I think I know all of them but one.

Erm, the one I'm going to go for is Dear John,

-and I think that's Status Quo.

-St... Wow.

-Don't know how I know that.

-I was looking at that, thinking I should know it from 1982.

I just don't.

Well, you want to score 89 or less to avoid becoming the high scorers

and assure yourselves a place in the next round.

Let's see if Dear John is indeed by Status Quo

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

There's your red line.

It is.

You're in Round Two. Very well done, Dean.

APPLAUSE

4, Dean.

-Take your total up to 14.

-Well played, Dean.

-They'll be strong contenders again, won't they, Dean and Ryan?

-Yeah.

Yeah, so, about a letter they wrote to John Noakes once.

There we go. Thanks very much.

Erm, Dave.

-Dave, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

-Erm, what do you do, Dave?

-I run a housing charity in South Wales.

Good for you. Er, now, do you and Erica work together?

-Are you in the...? No, you're not in...

-We have done.

-Yeah, we have.

-Oh, you have?

-But not...

-Coincidentally, or through friendship?

-Coincidentally.

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's nice.

Erm, and what are your hobbies, Dave? What do you like getting up to?

Erm, I like cooking. Erm, and eating.

Erm... Erm... Music. Theatre. Lots of different things.

OK, and is this a...a strong suit for you, would you say?

Well, music normally is, but this round's quite tough.

Well, thanks to Jane and Kate's high score of 100,

you've got a bit of a head start here.

If you can score 69 or less, you will go through to the next round.

OK. Erm...

There's quite a few on there I don't know. Er...

I'm going to go for Alejandro - Lady Gaga.

Alejandro - Lady Gaga.

There's your red line. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with Lady Gaga.

It's right.

Through you go, Dave.

-APPLAUSE

-27. 57 your total - very well done.

Well played, Dave.

But so far, neither of these songs are catchy enough to get Cotton Eye Joe out of my head.

-Oh! It's still there, spinning around like a top.

-I do think you going to get...

Oh, maybe. You might. You might. Yeah.

-Anyway, erm, we'll come back to them.

-Mmm.

-Now, Jane.

Now, Jane, you have to achieve the impossible here.

You have to achieve...

There is a scenario in which you could be in Round Two.

It involves John, let's say, scoring 100, and you, let's say, scoring 47.

Or even being able to answer any.

How do you find this board, Jane? Have we served you up a...?

I'm quite fortunate, because there are actually only two on there that I did know,

and they're both still there.

-You ARE quite fortunate.

-Very.

So it's just deciding which one,

and I'm actually to go for Ben -

Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson, says Jane. Michael Jackson.

OK, no red line for you, as you're the high scorers.

Let's see if Michael Jackson is right for Ben.

-It's right.

-Whew!

-38.

-APPLAUSE

You have fulfilled one of the tasks in front of you, Jane.

138 is your total.

Yeah, well played, Jane. Did all you could there.

Michael Jackson's had quite a few top 40 singles with names in.

He's had Robin, which was Rockin'.

-Yeah.

-He's had Diana, who was Dirty.

-Oh, I see. Yes. Yeah.

-And Billie Jean, who was not his lover.

-So he's had a few.

-That's right, he has. Thanks very much indeed.

Now, then. OK, John. You have a goal, a clear goal.

138 is the high score there, from Jane and Kate.

You have to score 89 or less.

Now, John, remind us what you get up to.

-What occupies your time?

-Well, I do a lot of quizzes.

Er, I set them, as well as attend them.

Er, so, I set a quiz every now and again.

I used to do the works one, and I do a pub one on a semi-regular basis.

And I've been doing that for a number of years.

And that's my way. I go racing a lot. I like my racing.

-Flat or National Hunt?

-Both. I prefer jumps, but...

-OK.

Very good. Now, then, John, there we are.

There's a board waiting for you just to run amok through it.

Talk us through them all, if you can.

Yeah, I think I know them all, but it's a question of picking the right one.

I think the top one is the one I'm unsure about.

I think it might be Ray Charles. The second one is definitely ABBA.

But that actually could score more than 89, I think.

I'm surprised nobody's picked The Ballad Of John And Yoko,

because it was The Beatles' last number one,

and I thought a Beatles song should have been picked.

And I think Stan's Eminem.

So, I think I'll go, cos it'll score less than 89,

-I'll go for The Ballad Of John And Yoko. The Beatles.

-OK.

The Beatles, says John, for The Ballad Of John And Yoko.

Here is your red line. Nice and high.

Get below that with The Beatles, you're in Round 2.

It's right, and you're through. Very well done, John.

Very well reasoned.

-Ten!

-APPLAUSE

-Ten.

-HE LAUGHS

For The Beatles, which I can tell you is the second-lowest

score of the whole round.

-Joint second-lowest score.

-Yeah, very well played, John.

As you said, their last number one. Maybe people don't know.

I think some people maybe think it's a John Lennon song rather than a Beatles song, so a low score.

You took us through the rest of the board very nicely.

You were even right about Hit The Road Jack.

It was the Ray Charles version. It would have scored you 6 points.

Fernando - ABBA. Big scorer.

Wouldn't have seen you knocked out. It's only 60.

And Stan was Eminem, and that would have scored you 35 points.

So the best answer on the board is Status Quo.

So very well played, Dean.

I'm interested that we write ABBA conventionally,

cos quite often we...I notice that we kowtow to the whims of pop stars.

-Like Five, who use a 5.

-Yeah, 5ive.

-Pink will use an exclamation mark.

-P!nk with an exclamation mark. Yeah.

But it's quite disrespectful, that, to put both Bs the right way around.

I'm desperately hoping none of those four are watching, because...

I'm hoping Benny isn't watching. He's the B we've put the wrong way round.

-The others are fine.

-LAUGHTER

Agnetha's going, "You got me."

-Bjorn's saying, "I'm happy with that."

-Yeah, Benny.

Anni-Frid's going, "Yeah, I got that."

-Benny's going...

-WITH SWEDISH ACCENT

-"What is happening with my B?"

LAUGHTER

"I used to love this show.

"It was really good, and then suddenly the Bs are all...ugh!"

-Eugh!

-"Ugh! I don't know. You would not do this to A-ha."

-LAUGHTER

-Now, then.

It's the end of our first round, and I'm afraid the pair leaving us

with their high score of 138 are Jane and Kate. I'm so sorry.

You weren't far off with Kim Wilde.

I knew who I meant - I just couldn't remember her name.

No, that can happen.

-Mmm.

-It can happen.

See you again next time, Jane and Kate.

Look forward to that very much indeed.

-But in the meantime, thanks very much for playing.

-APPLAUSE

Back to the remaining three pairs. It's now time for Round 2.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll say goodbye to another

pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Best of luck to all pairs.

Our category for Round 2 is...politics.

Politics. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many prime ministers who

served during a queen's reign as they could.

Prime ministers who served during a queen's reign, Richard.

Yes, simply looking for anyone who served as UK prime minister

during the reign of Queen Elizabeth II or Queen Victoria.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, John.

-How good's your history?

-I'm OK, yeah. Not too bad.

-Yeah, good.

-Of course he's good at that. Quizzes.

-Yeah, yeah.

He's just working out on the John Rolodex which of those is going to

be the lowest-scoring.

-Come on, John. Let's give us a Cologne answer.

-Right.

-I think I'll go for Alec Douglas Hume.

-Alec Douglas Hume, says John.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Alec Douglas Hume.

It's right.

-Ten!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, John. Ten for Alec Douglas Hume.

Yeah, the second-shortest-serving PM of the 20th century. Just 363 days.

At the start of his prime ministership,

he wasn't a Member of the House Of Commons or the House Of Lords.

He gave up his seat in the Lords and wasn't a Member of the House Of Commons yet.

So he was prime minister without sitting in parliament at all.

-It's good going, isn't it?

-That is!

So, what - they had to find a seat to parachute him into?

Yeah, he had a special, erm...yeah, like one of those camping chairs.

-LAUGHTER

-That someone found in their boot.

-Good.

-So he sat in there for a bit.

-And he had his drinks on a little cooler.

-Well, that's nice.

At least he was looked after. Comfortable.

-He was comfortable. He had a windbreak as well.

-LAUGHTER

-He'd want it. Erica.

-HE LAUGHS

Sorry, I've caught you by surprise there.

You thought we were just going to bang on for another half hour.

Like that was going to happen!

-HE CHUCKLES

-Yeah.

I'll go with the Welshman.

-Jim Callaghan.

-Jim Callaghan, says Erica.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Jim Callaghan.

It's right.

Well, ten was Alec Douglas Hume.

-34 for Jim Callaghan.

-APPLAUSE

-34. Was Jim Callaghan a Welshman?

-Jim Callaghan? Yeah.

He was an MP in Cardiff, wasn't he? Yeah.

Born in Portsmouth, though, so nominally English.

-Dean.

-Yeah.

-HE CHUCKLES

Erm...what are you thinking?

Erm...not my strongest area, I have to say.

I'm going to say Edward Heath.

Edward Heath, says Dean. Edward Heath.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Edward Heath.

It's right.

-42.

-APPLAUSE

Yes - Conservative prime minister from '70 to '74.

Stayed in House Of Commons for 27 years after he was prime minister.

I notice that everyone's going for the easy option

of going for prime ministers under Elizabeth's reign.

No-one's yet had the guts to go for a Victorian prime minister, have they?

Not yet.

-That'd be quite a person who did that.

-I think.

-Maybe second pass.

-I think Tony will.

-Oh, Tony definitely will.

If Tony doesn't come up with a Victorian prime minister, I will be shocked.

I'll be shocked. Look at him.

-He's got hundreds of them.

-Soon he might have to!

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's check the scores.

Ten the best score. John, very well done.

Puts you and Tony in a very strong position.

Then up to 34, where we find Erica and Dave.

Up to 42, where we find Dean and Ryan.

So, Ryan, we need a low score from you. Best of luck with that.

We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Ryan, we are looking for the name of any prime minister who

served during either the reign of Queen Victoria or

Queen Elizabeth II.

This is probably going to be a very obvious one, but I have to say Gordon Brown.

OK. Ryan is going to say Gordon Brown.

You're the high scorers, so there's no red line,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Gordon Brown.

-62.

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, dear.

-104 your total.

Yes - Labour prime minister from 2007 to 2010.

It'd be interesting if we do Pointless for many,

many years to come - say we're doing it in 15, 20 years' time -

I suspect his recognition ratings might slide quite rapidly.

Unlike some others, I suspect he might become one of the forgotten prime ministers.

-Gordon Brown?

-Yeah.

He'll become a Pointless emblem. Interesting. Thank you, Richard.

Now, Dave.

We have a target - 104 is the high water mark.

You're on 34, so a score of 69 or less sees you through.

Erm...

-I'm going to say Winston Churchill.

-Winston Churchill, says Dave.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Winston Churchill.

There's your red line.

Very well done. You're through.

-46.

-APPLAUSE

46 takes your total up to 80.

He coincided with the Queen during his second spell, from '51 to '55.

In fact, he was prime minister when she took to the throne.

Thanks, Richard. Now, then, Tony. There you are on ten.

The high scorers are Ryan and Dean on 104.

93 or less will see you through to the head-to-head.

Talk us through your thoughts.

OK. My thoughts are that I will definitely not be

going for a Victorian.

-Although I might have a couple of answers, if I'm allowed to say them.

-You can say them.

I perhaps might have gone, had I had to risk it,

would have been Gladstone or Disraeli.

-But I'm going to go for Harold Wilson.

-Harold Wilson, says Tony.

Here's your red line.

Get below that red line, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see if Harold Wilson can get you down there.

Most certainly he can.

-45.

-APPLAUSE

-45 takes your total up to 55.

-Well played, Tony.

Twice prime minister, of course, Harold Wilson.

If you'd said Gladstone, would have scored you 16 points.

Would have been a better answer. And Disraeli would have scored you 26 points.

Let's take a look at the Pointless answers. There's a few of them.

Lord John Russell would have been a Pointless answer.

I know some people who are very, very good on prime ministers and history and stuff.

The Earl of Derby would have been a pointless answer.

The 5th Earl of Rosebery would have been a Pointless answer as well.

Also Viscount Melbourne was a Pointless answer.

So very well done if you said him.

Let's take a look at the top three answers -

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

David Cameron would have scored you 80.

Margaret Thatcher would have scored you 82.

And right at the top, Tony Blair, beating Thatcher - 86 for Tony Blair.

Thank you very much indeed.

At the end of our second round, the pair heading home... They were head-to-headers last time.

This time, they have a high score of 104 at the end of our second

round, so we have to say goodbye.

Ryan and Dean, I'm really sorry.

I thought you were going to be brilliant at this.

Well, music was a dream category to come up the first round, but then

as soon as I saw Prime Ministers, I just thought, "We're going home."

-HE CHUCKLES

-So, yeah. Not our strong point.

-OK.

Sorry we have to say goodbye. It's been great having you on the show.

-Thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, John and Tony, Dave and Erica.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

We have to decide who'll play for that money,

and to do that, you're now going to go head-to-head -

the difference being you are now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

So best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

..children's TV. Children's TV, Richard.

We're going to show you five clues - facts about children's television shows.

-Can you give us the most obscure answer?

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five clues. And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

John and Tony, you played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

-I know Po.

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

-Want to go Po or do you want...?

-No, no.

THEY SPEAK INDISTINCTLY

-Going to go Po.

-If you're sure, you can go for it.

I'm going to... Do you know another one?

THEY SPEAK INDISTINCTLY

Right. Yeah, we've had a bit of a debate.

We could guess one but we'll play safe

and we'll go for Todd Carty played Tucker Jenkins in Grange Hill.

Grange Hill, say John and Tony. Grange Hill.

Now, Dave and Erica, the rest of the board is yours.

-Do you want to fill it in?

-THEY LAUGH

-Erm...first presenters of SM:TV would be Ant and Dec, right?

-Aye.

-I also thought...

-The teddy bear puppet's Andy Pandy?

-No.

-No?

No. It's, erm, Sooty.

-Harry Corbett?

-Sooty. Sooty.

-Hmm?

-Sooty.

-Sooty.

Teddy bear puppet, first appeared on screen in 1952 with Harry Corbett - Sooty.

You're going to go for Sooty. We have Grange Hill and we have Sooty.

Now, John and Tony have said Grange Hill.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how many people said Grange Hill.

Ooh, that's high. 80 for Grange Hill.

Dave and Erica, meanwhile, have said Sooty was the teddy bear puppet,

first appeared on screen in 1952 with Harry Corbett.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right. And it wins you the point.

-69 for Sooty.

-APPLAUSE

Which means, Dave and Erica, after one question, you are up 1-nil.

Our 100 know their kids' TV, don't they? Big scores there.

You know, since 1952, the first appearance of Sooty,

there's been over 6,000 Sootys.

-6,000 real, official Sootys, on the TV and live stage shows.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

There must be a grim sight somewhere.

That's a lot of...there must be a Sooty mountain somewhere.

Now, let's look at the rest of these.

Guys, if you'd had to guess a Teletubby, which one would you have gone for?

-Po.

-Po would have won you the point.

It's the right answer. Would have scored 44.

The first presenters of SM:TV Live were Ant and Dec.

Another big scorer - would have scored you 50.

-And Mr Sage and Mr Onion. What show was that on?

-Live And Kicking.

Live And Kicking, yeah. And would have scored 4 points.

Best answer on the board by a mile.

-In fact, they were jumping around to Cotton Eye Joe.

-Were they?

-Yeah, yeah.

-I'd literally just got Cotton Eye Joe out of my head!

LAUGHTER

-Now it's back.

-Yeah? There you go.

Thanks very much indeed.

So after one question, Dave and Erica are up 1-nil, which means

John and Tony, you have to win this next question to stay in the game.

Best of luck with that. It concerns...

Actors In Vietnam War Films.

Actors in Vietnam war films, Richard.

Going to show you five images now of actors appearing in films connected to the Vietnam War.

Can you give us the most obscure name of these actors, please?

OK, thanks very much. Let's reveal our five actors. And here they come.

There we are. Five actors appearing in films about the Vietnam War.

Now, Dave and Erica, you will go first this time.

-Do you want to have a closer look?

-E is Bruce Dern.

-Yeah.

Let's go for him, then.

-SHE MUTTERS

-The Irish guy... British guy...

I know. The one from the IT Crowd. Bruce Dern. Go for Bruce Dern.

-Yep.

-OK?

-Yep. E. Bruce Dern.

Bruce Dern, say Dave and Erica.

John and Tony, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

Yeah, unfortunately we were going to go for Bruce Dern

cos that, I think, will certainly score the lowest points.

We've got Marlon Brando, Robin Williams, Chris O'Dowd

and Charlie Sheen. But I don't think we'll beat...

I don't think we'll beat Bruce Dern. We'll go for...

-We'll go for Charlie Sheen. D.

-OK. D, Charlie Sheen, say John and Tony.

we have Bruce Dern and Charlie Sheen.

Dave and Erica say Bruce Dern.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

Wow! Look at that! One for Bruce Dern.

-John and Tony, you reckon that was going to be the lowest scorer.

-Yeah.

You'll to struggle to get lower than that,

but you said D, Charlie Sheen.

Let's see if that's right. How many people said it?

It's right.

33.

Very well done, Dave and Erica.

After only two questions, you are through to the final, two-nil.

That's very nicely played by Erica there.

That was a real killer blow with Bruce Dern. The best answer up there.

Marlon Brando is A, in Apocalypse Now. He would have scored 25 points.

Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam...

Looks a little bit like David Cameron.

He does a bit. 74 points.

Then Chris O'Dowd in The Sapphires,

about an Aboriginal girl group who entertain the troops in Vietnam.

He would have scored ten.

And we've seen the other two there. Bruce Dern the best answer.

-Very well done if you said Bruce Dern at home.

-Thanks, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round is John

and Tony. You've done so well, right the way through to the head-to-head.

Consistent low scoring.

Nothing wrong with your answers.

And I think you knew lower scoring answers, didn't you,

on that first board. You could have won that point.

We could have said Po, but we just decided that, so...

Which means, John and Dave, we say goodbye.

It's been brilliant having you. Thank you for playing.

-Great contestants, John and Tony.

-APPLAUSE

But for Dave and Erica, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Dave and Erica. You fought off the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of the show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, you've seen off a couple of seasoned quizzers, two-nil,

in the head-to-head to come through.

Don't ask us how.

Well, you've done incredibly well, is how.

As always, you start this round off by choosing a category

and you have four options. They are:

What's it going to be, funny men or Navratilova?

SHE MUTTERS

-So do you want to go acting funny men, then?

-Yes.

-Acting funny men.

Acting funny men. Richard?

Good luck. We'll give you three options.

We're looking for any film made for or cinema

release before the start of October 2013 starring any of the following:

So any film for which one of those three received an acting credit

according to IMDB before the start of October 2013.

As always, no TV films, short films, documentaries.

Just credited performances in feature films. Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot of £1,000 is for just

one of the answers to be pointless.

The answers can come from any of these categories.

You can spread across the categories as you like.

They can be one from each, two from one - entirely up to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Yep.

-OK. Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Your time starts now.

All right... Matt Lucas, um...

Was he in Bridesmaids?

I think he was in Bridesmaids.

Stephen Fry, was it the Oscar Wilde

-film?

-Yeah.

-Was it called Oscar?

-Oscar.

-John Cleese. What's the one with the Wanda film?

-Or what about time?

-Yeah, I know

-the one...

-A Fish Called Wanda.

Fish Called Wanda.

-Time Bandits.

-Time Bandits. SHE MUTTERS

Yeah, Time Bandits I think will

-probably be more...

-OK.

-Do you want to go Time Bandits for Stephen Fry...

-Yeah.

-Bridesmaids for Matt Lucas...

-Stephen Fry.

Sorry, Stephen Fry, Oscar.

John Cleese,

-Time Bandits.

-Time Bandits.

Matt Lucas,

-Bridesmaids.

-Bridesmaids. OK.

-You're happy with that?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Well, stop the clock. There we are.

So you've got your three answers.

Remind me what they are.

-Matt Lucas, Bridesmaids.

-Bridesmaids for Matt Lucas.

-Stephen Fry, Oscar.

-Oscar for Stephen Fry.

-And Time Bandits for John Cleese.

Time Bandits for John Cleese.

Of those, which do you think is your best shot at a Pointless answer?

-Time Bandits...

-Matt Lucas...

-Um, yeah, OK.

OK, you put Bridesmaids last. Least likely to be Pointless?

-Stephen Fry...

-Stephen Fry.

-OK. Stephen Fry,

and we'll put John Cleese in the middle in Time Bandits.

We'll pop those up on the board, and here they come. We have:

Very best of luck. Your first answer was Oscar.

This was the one you thought was least likely to be pointless.

only one of these answers must be pointless to win that £1,000 jackpot.

If you were to win it, Erica,

what would you do with your share of that?

Um, it's Dave's 50th next year.

He's renting us a villa in Spain for two weeks and all of us are going out

there, so I'll use my share for going up for the villa, paying extra.

-Dave?

-Same thing.

It'd be quite weird if you said, "Yeah, I won't be."

-I'll be spending it on my en suite."

-I'm out of here.

Uh, OK. Best of luck. Oscar, your first answer.

Obviously, this has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot,

so for £1,000, let's find out how many of our 100 people said Oscar

was a Stephen Fry film.

-No!

-I know.

-Oh, do you?

-Yeah, it's Wilde. It's called Wilde. Not Oscar.

Not Oscar. OK. An incorrect answer, not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer is Time Bandits.

This is under the category of John Cleese films.

Let's find out for £1,000 how many of our 100 people said

Time Bandits.

It's right.

Your first answer was Oscar which turned out to be incorrect,

but your second answer, Time Bandits for John Cleese, very much correct.

Down it goes into single figures.

Still going down! One. Stops on one.

Very well done indeed, Dave and Erica. That's a great answer.

Sadly, not a pointless answer. Everything is riding on your third

and final answer which is Bridesmaids.

Let's find out. This was your most confident shot at the jackpot.

For £1,000, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bridesmaids was

a Matt Lucas film.

Well, it's right. Oscar, your first answer, was an incorrect answer.

Your second answer, Time Bandits,

took us all the way down to one.

Your third answer, Bridesmaids, still going down.

Oh, three!

Bad luck. You didn't manage to find that all-important pointless

answer and you don't win the £1,000 jackpot.

That rolls over to the next show.

But we've really enjoyed having you,

and you take home a Pointless trophy each, so very well done.

Thank you.

That was a valiant effort. Very, very unlucky there.

Let's look at the pointless answers.

For Matt Lucas, he did voiceover work in Astro Boy,

-he was in Plunkett & Macleane. You were in that as well.

-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Shaun of the Dead he's in. A good answer.

Well done if you said that at home.

And David Baddiel's The Infidel. He played a rabbi in that.

Stephen Fry, you could have had Alice in Wonderland,

you could have had Bright Young Things, Spice World.

He plays a judge in Spice World.

And of course he's the voice of the book in The Hitchhiker's Guide to

the Galaxy, the 2005 remake. It was a terrific answer if you said that.

And John Cleese - The Great Muppet Caper you could have had.

Splitting Heirs. You could have had Rat Race.

Die Another Day or The World Is Not Enough.

Very well done if you said any of those.

There's a few that's gettable there, but terrific jackpot round.

Yeah, Plunkett & Macleane! I was in that as well.

I should have remembered that.

But two really good answers from you there.

Really unlucky to get so close and not be leaving with the jackpot,

but unfortunately, we say goodbye to you, Dave and Erica.

We've loved having you. Thank you for playing.

Great contestants, Dave and Erica.

Sadly, Dave and Erica didn't win our jackpot today, so it rolls

over onto the next show when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us again, see if someone can win.

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.