Episode 11 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello.

I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to Pointless, the show

where obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one.

-Hi. My name's Kate. This is my mum, Jane.

-And we're from Preston.

-Couple number two.

-My name's Robin.

This is my wife, Mary. And we're from Northampton.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, Alexander.

My name's Eliot and this is my son, Michael.

And we're from just outside of Glasgow.

-And finally couple number four.

-Hello.

My name's Bob, and this is my friend Tim. We're both from South London.

And these are today's contestants.

Back to all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

They call him the Owl because he is stoic, wise and can be deftly

deployed to control rodent populations in urban areas.

-LAUGHTER

-It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. How are you?

I would be cool to be an owl, I think.

-Yeah, it's great to be an owl.

-That'd be amazing.

-Yeah.

I could literally be doing that and look at the board behind me,

just... I wouldn't even have to swivel my chair.

-That would be relaxing, wouldn't it?

-That'd save me some time.

-Yeah.

-Anyway.

-Anyway. Anywho.

-How are you this afternoon?

-I'm very well.

-Excellent. It's... Anybody could win today.

We've only got one returning pair - that's Kate and Jane,

and we only saw them for one round last time.

They were here very briefly.

And three new pairs as well, so it could be very, very open.

I absolutely trust podium two, Robin and Mary.

Married couple, seem very sensible.

Got your father and son - podium three. No trouble there.

I'm sensing maybe trouble from podium four.

LAUGHTER

You know, they look like two guys who are trying really,

really hard to be well-behaved.

And I think at some point that's going to slip. Don't you think?

So I think if you're going to worry about crowd control at any point,

-podium four...

-Is the one to look out for.

-I think so.

-Yeah, OK.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, as usual,

all of today's questions have been asked of 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are after one of those all important pointless answers -

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Dave and Erica didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be

eliminated.

And you are to remember at all times there is to be no conferring during

the round itself.

OK, our first category today is...

Famous people.

Can you all decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

-Second spouses. Richard?

-Going to show you seven names on each pass.

They are all the second spouse of somebody famous.

Can you tell us the name of the person they married in the year shown, please?

We're going to show you 14 people in all,

so there's going to be 14 guesses to kick off the show with.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So we're looking for the names of the people

to whom these were second spouses.

And here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those one last time.

Now, Kate and Jane, you all drew lots before the show

-and today you're going to go first. Jane, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Now, tell us what happened last time.

My daughter...who I love dearly, got Kim Wilde

and Blondie slightly mixed up.

-It's going to happen.

-It's an easy mistake.

Now, then, Jane, remind us what you do.

-I'm a receptionist at police headquarters.

-Now, that's fun.

-Do you take the emergency calls?

-No. No.

I only look after people that have been invited into headquarters.

-I like "invited in".

-Yes. Only invited. Oh, yes.

Now, then, what about that board?

I thought that was going to be a killer of a round,

and then I saw that board and thought, "Well, that's not so bad."

-Did you feel the same?

-No.

SHE LAUGHS I didn't feel the same at all.

-I'm going to go for Nicole Kidman and really hope it's Tom Cruise.

-OK.

Tom Cruise, says Jane, for Nicole Kidman. Let's see.

And the date was 1990. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Tom Cruise.

Very well done.

-Oh. High.

-High, but correct.

-42 better than 100. Not bad.

-Yeah, not bad at all on the first podium.

He was married to Mimi Rogers, then Nicole Kidman,

and then he was married to Katie Holmes.

-Uh, now. Robin.

-Hello.

-See, I trust Robin as well. I trust Robin.

-I do.

Absolutely. If he was a pilot, he'd be, "Oh, great."

"Oh, we've got Robin today. We're going to survive."

"I'll have a gin and tonic. That's lovely. Thank you very much."

"And whatever he's having. Send this up to Robin."

That's how much I trust him.

Um, Robin, what do you do? A pilot?

I'm a service delivery manager for a well-known high street retailer.

Good stuff. OK, now, Robin, Robin, Robin.

Who were these people married to in the years shown?

-My first thought is, "It's so much easier playing this at home."

-Yes.

-So easy at home.

-Oh, it's quite easy from here as well.

LAUGHTER

I'm going to be brave and I'm going to say Jim Kerr, 1992 - Patsy Kensit.

Patsy Kensit, says Robin, for Jim Kerr.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Patsy Kensit.

It's completely right. 58's our high score at the moment.

You passed that.

17 for Patsy Kensit.

It was the second marriage for both of them.

He'd been married to Chrissie Hynde from The Pretenders.

-She'd been married to Dan Donovan.

-So it was.

-Then she married Liam Gallagher and Jeremy Healy.

-Thanks, Rich.

Eliot, welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

What do you do, Eliot?

I'm an economic development officer in a local authority.

What sort of things do you actually do as an economic development officer?

I'm...we run schemes of assistance for people to start their own

business, and we help local companies in the area.

As you can see, I've got a particular interest in food and drink,

so I'm the food and drink person for South Lanarkshire Council.

-Gee, that's great fun, though, isn't it?

-It is.

-You literally have your fingers in lots of pies.

-Absolutely.

That's wonderful. Good stuff.

-Now, then, Eliot, what are you going to go for?

-I think...

There's a couple of them up there, but I think I'm going to

go for Kid Rock and I'm going to say Pamela Anderson.

You're going to say Pamela Anderson for Kid Rock.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Pamela Anderson.

It's right.

Very well done indeed. 15, Eliot.

-The best score of the round so far.

-Well played, Eliot.

That marriage lasted about five months.

-It's actually not bad for a celebrity pairing, is it?

-Not bad.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, OK, so we come to you, Bob.

-Bob, what do you do?

-I'm a part-time estate agent.

-A part-time estate agent?

-Well, I'm 65 now, so...

And what do you like doing when you're not doing that, Bob?

I like music. Food. Um...

I've got a motorcycle, which, when the weather's nice,

I like tootling around on that.

OK. Now, Bob, this is all your board.

-It's not a good board for me, though.

-Really?

-Yeah, afraid so.

Have a crack at some of them. Just do your thinking out loud, maybe.

The only one that is giving me anything,

-and I'm probably wrong, is Heather Mills and Paul McCartney.

-OK.

You're going to go with Heather Mills. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, see how many of our 100 people said

Paul McCartney.

Well, it's right.

-That's a high score there, Bob, but a lot better than 100.

-True.

Heather was Paul's second wife. Linda was his first wife.

His third wife is Nancy and she's Paul's second husband. No.

Paul's her second husband. Simple.

-Simple.

-Simple as you like.

Now, let's go through the rest of this board.

-Do you know any of these?

-Yeah, I do.

-Lisa Marie Presley.

-Michael Jackson.

-Incorrect.

-Oh!

-Nicolas Cage.

-Nicolas Cage.

-Nicolas Cage. Would have scored five points.

-I walked into that one.

Exactly. I think a lot of our 100 made the same mistake there.

-Nicolas Cage the answer. Cris Judd.

-Yes. Jennifer Lopez.

-Jennifer Lopez.

Would you like to know something amusing? I was at their wedding.

-No way.

-As was Patsy Kensit. That was when I met Patsy Kensit.

This sounds like a dream, or...

How come you were at Jennifer Lopez's wedding?

Because she had her wedding at Donatella Versace's big

villa on Lake Como in sort of November, I think, 2001.

After 9/11, nobody from America wanted to fly over,

so there was a bit of an open invitation.

And a friend of mine got invited and said, "Would I like to go along?"

I said, "Yeah, of course." So there I was.

I hung out with Patsy Kensit and J.Lo

and Cris Judd on their wedding night.

And that wedding lasted,

I think, to almost all the way through the first dance.

-It was...

-LAUGHTER

No. Give them their due. They were married for nine months.

It was a long dance.

That would've scored you ten points if you'd gone to it.

-And Lance Gerrard-Wright. Ulrika Jonsson.

-Ulrika Jonsson, yeah.

That would've scored you six points.

So Nic Cage is the best answer up there. Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

The best score of that pass was yours, Eliot. Well done.

Eliot and Michael looking very strong on 15.

Then just a squeak above them on 17, Robin and Mary.

Then up to 58 - quite a hike - where we find Jane and Kate.

And then 71, Bob and Tim.

You're not miles ahead, but Tim, you'll be the first person to

answer in the next board - try to find a nice, low score there.

Very best of luck. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. We're going to put seven more names up on the board,

and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, remember, we're looking for the names of the people to whom these were second spouses.

And, Tim, you're going to try and find a nice low-scoring one,

and hope that'll get you through to the next round.

-Tim, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-And you are from South London.

-I am.

-From Tooting.

-From Tooting.

-And what do you get up to in Tooting, Tim?

-I'm a self-employed book-keeper.

-Yes, I...

You say "book-keeper", I think "book-maker".

-Don't mean book-maker. Book-keeper.

-Yes.

And what do you like doing in your spare time, Tim?

-Bit of travelling and a little bit of line dancing.

-Very... Yes, of course!

The shirt.

It all falls into place now.

How long have you been line dancing for - since the very beginning?

-About 19 years.

-That's pretty good. Pretty good.

OK, now, Tim, there you are on 71. You're the high scorers.

-I think you might be quite good at this.

-I've got to take a risk.

Ava Gardner, Humphrey Bogart.

Humphrey Bogart, says Tim, for Ava Gardner.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

No red line for you as you're high scorers.

Ooh! Bad luck, Tim.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Takes your total up to an unassailable 171. Sorry.

-Sorry, Tim.

She never married Humphrey Bogart.

Sounds like something that would've happened, though, doesn't it?

That sort of caper they used to get up to?

Virtually all of them married all the others at some point.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Michael, welcome to the show.

Great to have you here.

Listen, the first thing I can say to you is, "Great news.

-"You're in round two."

-That is good news.

Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake Bob and Tim over there.

But as it turns out, Eliot, your dad,

left you in a pretty strong position. What do you do, Michael?

-I'm a student at university.

-Whereabouts?

-Strathclyde up in Glasgow.

-Strathclyde. What are you studying?

-Accountancy and finance, so...

-Ah, yes. Exactly. Book-keeping. Very...

You know the difference between book-keeping and book-making.

Now then, Michael, what are you going to go for on this board?

Uh, the board's not bad. I think I'm going to go for Jada Pinkett Smith.

-And say Will Smith.

-Will Smith, says Michael, for Jada Pinkett Smith.

Let's see how many people said it.

No red line for you as you're already through.

It's right.

Takes you up to a nice neat 50.

Well played, Michael. Good answer.

Yeah, Will Smith was married to Sheree Fletcher before that.

-Didn't know that. Didn't know he'd been married before.

-I didn't know that.

-Keeps that quiet.

-Yeah. Thanks very much.

Now, then, Mary, welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Mary?

-I'm a billing analyst for a Japanese print company.

Now, how did you and Robin meet, Mary?

-We met on New Year's Eve on a dance floor.

-Aww.

How impossibly When Harry Met Sally. That's fantastic.

SHE LAUGHS

Literally as the balloon was going up, or...?

It was just a bit before that, but our eyes met across the dance floor.

Aww. How fantastic. Um, brilliant.

So New Year's Eve always a very important evening for you, then.

-Every year it comes round.

-Yes.

-Excellent.

Now, good news - you're also through to round two, Mary.

That is good news.

But slightly less good news,

-I am going to want an answer from you from this board.

-OK.

Um...I think I'll go with Guy Ritchie and Madonna.

Guy Ritchie and Madonna, says Mary.

No red line cos you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Madonna.

It's right.

Cor. 74.

That's the highest scoring correct answer.

Yeah, big score but a correct answer.

She was married to Sean Penn first.

At her first wedding, they couldn't hear her vows cos there were

-so many press helicopters hovering overhead.

-How depressing.

-That's not nice, is it?

-No. Thanks very much.

91 your total there, Mary and Robin.

Kate. Again, great news. You're in round two.

But I think you're going to be really good on this board.

-Now, Kate, remind us what you do.

-I'm a civil servant.

A civil servant who cannot tell us what she does.

-The kind of thing she does is so top secret.

-Yeah.

Or maybe just difficult to pronounce.

SHE LAUGHS

Assuming you get any time off from the absolutely top, top,

top secret thing you do, what do you do?

I mean, what do you do with that time?

Um, I spend a lot of time following Preston North End - following them up and down the country with my mother.

-So you travel as well - all the away matches?

-We used to.

We don't go to as many any more, but we did go through about three seasons

-where we never missed a game, home or away, in all the competitions.

-Wow.

OK. Now then, Kate, talk us through the board. Fill in all the blanks.

Kris Humphries, I think was Kim Kardashian. I'm not sure.

Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII. Rachel Hunter, Rod Stewart, I think.

Don't know the other two.

I'll go for Rachel Hunter and Rod Stewart.

Rachel Hunter, Rod Stewart, says Kate. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Rod Stewart.

No red line again cos you're already through.

It's right.

Takes your total up to 97. Well done, Kate.

Yeah, he met her in a LA nightclub and proposed within three weeks.

Now married to Penny Lancaster, of course.

-Can I just point out something? An error I'd made.

-Yep.

Right up until the moment that Kate said Kris Humphries

and Kim Kardashian, I'd been thinking of Jake Humphrey.

LAUGHTER

I'd just been thinking, "Oh, he's doing well. That's nice. Nice.

"He's someone's second spouse."

Yeah. What if I told you that you're absolutely right, it is

-Kim Kardashian, you'd have been even more surprised.

-Yeah.

Would've scored you ten points.

Ava Gardner didn't marry Humphrey Bogart, she married...

-Frank Sinatra.

-Frank Sinatra, yep. Would've scored you 14.

-Anne Boleyn famously married...

-Henry VIII.

-Henry VIII.

Would've scored you 56 points.

And Orson Welles... Do you know this?

-I don't, mate.

-I didn't know this.

Two points if you said Rita Hayworth.

There you are.

-Good answer, isn't it?

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home -

Tim and Bob.

I'm sorry, we have to say goodbye to you.

We'll see you again next time. We look forward to that very much.

-We won't serve up a round like that again for you.

-TIM LAUGHS

We'll see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that very much indeed. Thanks so much meanwhile.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

OK. So three pairs remain.

That means at the end of this round we will have to say goodbye to

another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Now, Kate and Jane, our only returning pair,

stormed through round one. Look at that. There you are.

Welcome to round two. Eliot and Michael, great performance.

Pamela Anderson the best answer of that round,

so very well done to you, Eliot.

And Robin and Mary, nice, solid performance there.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two is...

20th century theatre.

Can you all decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

playwrights on the National Theatre's NT2000 list.

Playwrights on the National Theatre's NT2000 list. Richard?

Yeah, in the late '90s,

the National Theatre put together a list of the 100 best plays

written in the English language in the 20th century.

Can you give us the name of any playwright represented on that list, please?

So it was the 100 best plays in the English

language of the 20th century.

Any playwright who wrote one of those 100 plays.

Very, very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed. OK. Now, Kate, we come to you first.

I'm really struggling with this - to even think of a playwright.

I don't know if this is right or not, but I'll go for Tim Rice.

OK. Tim Rice, says Kate. Let's see if it's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Tim Rice.

No. Bad luck, Kate. Sorry, I'm afraid.

Not a terrible bit of logic there, but I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

-Not Tim Rice.

-Yes, sorry, Kate. We've narrowed your job down, though.

-It's definitely not the Arts Council.

-LAUGHTER

Uh, thanks, Richard.

Now, Mary, who are you going to go for?

This isn't a great one for me,

but we've been to the West End of couple times.

Going to go with...

-..possibly Noel Coward?

-Noel Coward, says Mary.

Let's see if Noel Coward's there. He should be.

And let's how many people said Noel Coward.

He is there. Very well done, Mary.

-15. Very well done.

-Well played, Mary.

His 1930 play Private Lives was one of the 100 best plays.

Thanks very much indeed. Eliot. Who would you like to go for?

There's a couple I'm toying between.

-I think I'm going to go for John Osborne.

-John Osborne, says Eliot.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said John Osborne.

It's right. Well, 15, our lowest score to date.

John Osborne passes that. Look at that - five. Very well done indeed, Eliot.

Very well played, Eliot. Yeah, 1956 play Look Back In Anger was in the top 100.

Wrote that in two weeks.

-Went on to be one of the most successful plays of all time.

-Wow.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through.

Let's see what our scores are. Five the best score of that pass, Eliot.

Very well done indeed. Then up to 15, where Mary and Robin are.

Then I'm afraid it's up to 100, where we find Kate and Jane.

Jane, a low answer from you might be enough. You never know.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. So, Michael, remember we're looking for the name of any

-playwright on the National Theatre's NT2000 list.

-Yeah.

We need a nice low score from you, Michael.

The high scorers at the moment, Jane and Kate, on 100. You're on five.

94 or less keeps you in the game.

I don't even think that's going to happen.

I'm just trying to think of back when I did English at school.

A name's come up.

But...

-Guess...Arthur Miller. I don't know.

-Arthur Miller. OK. Arthur Miller.

Let's see. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 people said Arthur Miller?

Absolutely right. Very well done indeed, Michael.

18 is your total. Well done.

-You're through.

-Well played, Michael.

Death Of A Salesman from 1949.

-You got a really nice "proud Dad" look from Eliot as well.

-Absolutely.

That's my boy.

Thanks, Rich. Uh, Robin.

You're on 15. You need to score 84 or less.

OK. Um...probably bit embarrassing to tell you that I act in plays

in my spare time and I'm really struggling to think of playwrights.

I see, yes. Struggling to think of playwrights.

I should have loads of playwrights rolling off the tongue

and, uh...I'm down to a couple. I'm going to say Tom Stoppard.

Tom Stoppard, says Robin. Here's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 said Tom Stoppard?

It's absolutely right, of course.

-21 is your total.

-Well played, Robin.

Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead for Tom Stoppard.

-It's going nicely this round, isn't it?

-Mmm.

-We're doing very well.

-Yeah.

Jane, I'm afraid...I'm afraid you are the high scorers

-even before you've given your answer.

-Which Robin stole.

SHE LAUGHS Thank you, Robin.

So I shall go with the other one I thought of. Hopefully this is right.

-Terence Rattigan.

-Terence Rattigan, says Jane. Good answer.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

No red line, I'm afraid, cos you're already the high scorers.

That is a great answer. Very well done indeed, Jane.

And that, if either of the others had scored 100,

if they'd slipped up, that would've kept you in the game.

-But great answer, Jane.

-Thank you.

-Very nice way to end the round.

-Have you got any before we look at the pointless answers?

-Um, yes.

-I would go probably Alan Bleasdale maybe.

-Alan Bleasdale...

-Uh, not on the list.

-Ooh. There's 100 points to me.

Alan Ayckbourn's on the list. Alan Ayckbourn would've scored you seven.

-Howard Brenton.

-Howard Brenton was a pointless answer.

-There we go. Phew.

Well done. Let's look at some other pointless answers.

-David Mamet was a pointless answer.

-I did have him.

Yeah, Glengarry Glen Ross. John Godber on that list for Bouncers.

Keith Waterhouse on that list for Billy Liar -

he wrote it with Willis Hall.

Neil Simon is on the list for The Odd Couple, Patrick Marber

-for Closer.

-Oh, Closer.

-Sam Shepard is on the list for True West.

Shelagh Delaney, A Taste Of Honey,

Quartermaine's Terms by Simon Gray is there,

and Somerset Maugham also on the list.

Very, very well done if you said any of those. There's a few others.

Anthony Shaffer you could've had, Edward Albee, Howard Barker,

Jim Cartwright, Joan Littlewood, Sebastian Barry.

Lots of pointless answers on that list.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair heading home

with a high score of 103, it's Jane and Kate.

Jane, lovely answering from you there. Kate...you might have got...

Well, maybe not one of the pointless ones,

but did any of those others ring a bell? Tom Stoppard, maybe?

-I had Alan Bennett in my head, but...

-That would have been a great answer.

-No good in your head.

-HE LAUGHS

Combined with your mum's low score, might've seen you though. Who knows?

Anyway, it's been lovely having you on both shows.

-Thanks so much for playing, Jane and Kate.

-Thank you.

But the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Eliot and Michael, Robin and Mary -

you're now one step closer to the final and the chance to

play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

Here's where we decide who goes through to the final

and plays for that money. You are now going to go head-to-head.

Obviously you're now allowed to confer,

and the first pair to win two questions will play for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK. Here comes your first question. And it concerns...

-Flags, Richard.

-It's a fun one, this.

We're going to show you five flags with the names of the countries they represent underneath them.

But we've missed out one colour from each of the flags.

Can you tell us what colour we've missed out, please?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five flags.

And here they are.

There we are. Five flags with colours missing.

Now, Eliot and Michael, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

ELIOT: Do you want to pick Bangladesh?

-MICHAEL:

-I'm not 100% on that, really.

-Go Ethiopia, then?

-No, I don't know.

-I'm not 100%.

-Bangladesh?

-OK.

We're going to go for A.

We think that the Bangladesh flag has green in it.

OK. You're going to say green for A.

Robin and Mary, do you fancy talking us through the rest of the board?

Ooh.

-ROBIN:

-B, Germany, we think is black. C...Don't know.

D, we might have to take a guess at,

because I think E, Sweden, is yellow.

But I think Bangladesh is a good answer.

So...we may have to take a guess at Ethiopia.

-What should we say?

-Orange.

-OK.

We're going to say...for Ethiopia, we're going to say orange.

OK. You're going to say orange for Ethiopia.

So we have green for Bangladesh and orange for Ethiopia.

Eliot and Michael, you said green for A.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said green.

It's right.

Good answer.

Now, Robin and Mary, you've taken a bit of a punt here.

You have volunteered orange for the Ethiopian flag in D.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said orange.

Oh. Bad luck. Bad luck.

That means, Eliot and Michael, after one question, you are up one-nil.

Sorry, Robin and Mary.

Like an awful lot of African flags, it is green, yellow and red,

Ethiopia.

And that would've scored you 28 points.

Germany, you're right, it's black. Big scorer, though.

That would've scored you 74.

The one that would've won you the point is Palau, and that is yellow.

Would've scored you just 19 points. Supposed to represent the moon.

And Sweden also yellow.

But would've scored you a few more points. It was 63 points.

Ah, there we are. Thank you very much indeed.

OK, here comes your second question.

Robin and Mary, you will get to answer this one first.

But you have to win it to stay in the game. So best of luck.

It concerns...

-NFL. Is that good for you, Robin, or not?

-It's really good.

-Pretty good.

-Good.

-Yep.

Can you simply complete the names of these five teams, please?

Very best of luck.

OK. Let's reveal our five incomplete teams, and here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Robin and Mary, you will go first.

HE SIGHS

Uh...it's just picking the one that's the lowest score, isn't it?

-I think I'm going to go with...B, St Louis Rams.

-The St Louis Rams.

St Louis Rams. OK.

Now then, Eliot and Michael, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

-MICHAEL:

-This is actually really good for us as well.

And that was actually going to be our answer.

Bottom one's the Indianapolis Colts,

it's the Atlanta Falcons,

the Miami Dolphins.

I think we're going to have to go for the top one,

which is the Jacksonville Jaguars.

The Jacksonville Jaguars, say Eliot and Michael.

So Robin and Mary said the St Louis Rams. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

We will now discover whether or not that was the correct one to pick,

because Eliot and Michael, who also knew the full table,

have gone for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Is that going to go lower than 20?

Oh. There we are. There's your answer. 28.

Well done, Robin and Mary. That's exactly what you needed to do.

You're back in the game. After two questions, it's one-all.

Good head-to-head so far, isn't it?

Jacksonville Jaguars owned by Shahid Khan, who also owns Fulham now.

Fulham FC.

Now, there is an answer up there that would've beaten the Rams.

It's not the Miami Dolphins. That would've scored you too many points.

That would've scored you...62. It's not the Atlanta Falcons.

That would've scored you too many points as well.

That would've scored you 29.

It's the Indianapolis Colts, which would've scored you 19.

-HE LAUGHS

-Would have just snuck through.

Thanks very much indeed. OK. It comes down to a decider.

Here's the third question. Whoever wins this goes to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Best of luck, both pairs. It concerns...

The London Underground. Richard?

I'll give you five clues now to facts about the London Underground.

Can you give us the most obscure answer out of these five?

-Best of luck, both teams.

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Now, Eliot and Michael, you will go first.

OK. What do you think?

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

OK. We're going to say the two-word name for the station in EastEnders.

This is a bit of a punt, though. Walford East.

Walford East, say Eliot and Michael. Walford East.

Robin and Mary, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

ROBIN: Oh, we'll try. Um...I think the first one...

HE READS THE QUESTION I think is 150.

The colour of the circle on the logo is red.

Draughtsman, don't know.

I probably would've said something similar - Walford, Walford East.

And don't know the four-letter nickname

derived from the shape of the tunnels.

So we're going to take a bit of a guess for the first one

and say it's 150 years.

150 years, say Robin and Mary.

OK, so Eliot and Michael said Walford East for the station in EastEnders.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Walford East.

Absolutely right.

Well done.

Ooh, it's a good answer!

Look at that. Ten, very well done.

Thank you very much.

Ten for Walford East.

Robin and Mary, meanwhile, have said 150 years celebrated in 2013.

Let's see if that's right. And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Well done, guys.

Well done, Eliot and Michael.

That means after three questions,

-you are through to the final two-one.

-Well played, both teams.

Yeah, that's terrific work.

I guarantee you you do know the four-letter

nickname for the London Underground.

-It's the Tube.

-The Tube!

Don't even think of it as a nickname these days, do we, it's so familiar.

70 points, it would have scored you, though.

Um...the usual colour, you're right, was red.

That would've scored too many as well. Scored you 63.

The only answer that beats Walford East

is the electrical draughtsman who did that extraordinary job redesigning the map.

Absolutely transformed the Underground. And it was Harry Beck.

Four points. So, very well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round is Robin and Mary,

but what an exciting head-to-head that was.

Very, very close indeed. I mean, that could've gone either way, I think.

But we'll see you again next time. We'll look forward to that.

On the evidence of seen today, I think you'll do just as well, if not better.

-But, Robin and Mary, thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

But for Eliot and Michael, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Eliot and Michael.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

So, many congratulations.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,000.

Well, faultless performance, I have to say.

You were our lowest scorers in the first round,

you gave the lowest-scoring answer in our second round.

Two-one in the head-to-head. Very well done.

You dispatched everyone else with ruthlessness there.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-Bit of music, maybe. Some sport.

-Sport, music, yeah.

German industrial metal, maybe. Something like that.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

As always, you kick this round off by choosing the category you want to answer under,

and here are the four options you can choose from.

The top one. Has to be the top one. Yeah.

-Yeah. Think we're going to go for men's running records.

-OK.

Men's running records you're going to go for. Richard?

Yeah, here's your three different options.

We're looking for anybody who has broken the world 10,000m record

on the track since the end of the Second World War.

So anyone who's broken the 10,000m world record.

Anyone who's got the 100m world record since 1977, which is

when they started electronically timing them.

So, any 100m world record holder.

Or any post-war one-mile world record holder.

So 10,000m world record holder, one-mile world record holder, both

of those since the war, or any 100m world record holder since 1977.

-Very, very best of luck, guys.

-OK.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to

be pointless.

Remember, the answers you give can come from any of these categories,

and how you spread them across those categories is up to you.

You can have one from each,

-Entirely down to you. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK.

Let's put those 60 seconds up on the screen. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Got anything?

-Usain Bolt. HE LAUGHS

No. I've got...

I think the 100m world record,

I think Calvin Smith held that at one point.

So we're going to go Calvin Smith.

-10k, Lasse Viren, we'll say for that, probably.

-And the other one?

-No mile, no. Don't know any for that.

-We have three, though.

-I know.

100m world record, another one.

Or 10km. 10km.

Maybe... I mean, there's a lot of Kenyans obviously running. Right.

Henry Rono. Right. Think we're going to go.

OK. You're ready. Shall we stop the clock? OK.

-What are your three answers going to be?

-Calvin Smith.

-Which, sorry?

-Sorry. 100m world record.

-100m world record since '77.

-Calvin Smith.

-Calvin Smith.

-Post-war 10km world records, Henry Rono...

-Henry Rono.

What was the other one I said?

-Lasse Viren.

-Lasse Viren.

-Lasse Viren.

-And that's also in the 10km.

-That's the 10km, sorry, yes.

-OK. Right.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Calvin Smith.

-Calvin Smith we'll put last.

I think that's the one that might -

the other two, I'm really not sure about.

OK, which is your least likely to be pointless, do you think?

-Lasse Viren.

-Lasse Viren we'll put first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order. And here they are.

We have got Lasse Viren, Henry Rono and Calvin Smith.

Well, very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Lasse Viren.

Now, remember, only one of these answers has to be pointless for you

to win that jackpot of £2,000.

Now, if you were to win that,

what would you do with your share of that?

Eliot?

My wife has got a big birthday coming up next year

and we've booked a holiday to the west coast of America.

It would just make it a bit more luxurious.

She'd like at least one night in a beach house in Malibu,

so hopefully that would pay for half a night.

-HE LAUGHS

-Michael, how about you?

I'll probably just go on a holiday with my friends next year.

-So, go away somewhere nice in the sun with them.

-Very good indeed. OK.

Your first answer, Lasse Viren.

This has to be correct, then it has to be pointless.

I'm not sure that it is correct.

But if it is correct, it might very well go down to pointless.

But it has to be both of those things to win that jackpot of £2,000.

So let's find out how many of our 100 people had

Lasse Viren down as a 10,000m world record holder since the war.

It's right! Very well done, Eliot and Michael.

Down goes Lasse Viren through the 40s,

through the 30s and 20s into the teens.

Into single figures. Still going down. Down it goes.

Very well done indeed.

That's a brilliant answer. Only two people got Lasse Viren.

I mean, in normal gameplay, that would be a fabulous answer.

Sadly, in this round, we're only interested in pointless answers.

So you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer, Henry Rono. Again, this has to be correct.

-You weren't entirely sure if this was correct either.

-Not at all.

Fingers crossed. If this is correct, it may well be pointless.

Let's see how many people said Henry Rono was a 10,000m world record

holder since the war.

It's right. It's right.

Now, your first answer, Lasse Viren, took us all the way down to two.

Your second answer, Henry Rono,

is now taking us down through the single figures.

Down it goes. Still going down.

You've done it! Very well done!

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed. Fantastic. That's a great result.

-Thank you.

Well done, mate.

Oh, congratulations.

Henry Rono was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,000.

Very well done.

From the second you chose that category,

I knew you were going to win that jackpot.

I just had a sixth sense about it, especially

because Calvin Smith was also a pointless answer.

APPLAUSE

Very, very well played, guys.

Let's go through some of the other pointless answers.

David Bedford, the UK runner, was a pointless answer.

There's Henry Rono of Kenya.

Another Kenyan, Paul Tergat, would've been a pointless answer.

Vladimir Kuts of the Soviet Union also would've been pointless.

There's Calvin Smith.

And Leroy Burrell as well would've been a pointless answer.

And post-war one-mile record holders,

you could've had Derek Ibbotson, another British runner.

John Walker, who was the first one under 3:50. The New Zealander.

Morceli you could've had. Would have been a pointless answer.

Peter Snell - another New Zealander -

also could've had on that category.

Filbert Bayi, Herb Elliott or Jim Ryun - all were pointless answers.

That's very well done if you said any of those at home.

-Terrific work, guys.

-Thank you.

Thanks very much indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Eliot and Michael,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000.

Join us next time when we put more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.