Episode 26 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing and

obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hello, I'm Mark.

And this is my colleague, Ade, and we're both from Essex.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Alec. This is my friend, Sonny.

-We're both from Glasgow.

-Couple number three.

I'm Sharon. This is my husband Tony and we're from Leeds.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Tracey.

I'm from Manchester and this is my friend, Dave. He's from Stockport.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks to all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He used to get nervous before these shows but he took some

advice from an old pro like me so, currently imagining

all of you naked, it's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya.

APPLAUSE Hi, everybody. How are you? Hiya.

That's a terrible thing to put in my head at the start of a show.

-I know.

-What were you thinking?

HE LAUGHS

We've got two returning pairs, went out in Round One and Two last time.

We've got Alec and Sonny who were unfortunate in Round One

and we've got Tracey and David who were

slightly unfortunate in Round Two as well.

Hopefully, they'll do a little bit better this time.

-Two great winners last time.

-They were really good.

-Amanda and Keeley.

Amanda's now already on her way to Amsterdam with that money she won.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

All questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are on the hunt for an all-important pointless

answer, that being an answer none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As you will have gathered, Keeley and Amanda won the jackpot last time

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK. The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be

eliminated, but remember there is to be no conferring throughout

the round itself. OK, our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Richard.

On each pass we'll show you some sets of characters,

all of whom come from the same musical.

You need to tell us the name of the musical they come from.

They're going to be in trios.

There's going to be 14 musicals in all to have a go at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, we want the title of the film musical in which these

characters appear and here is our first board of seven.

I'll read these all one last time.

There we are. Ade and Mark, you all drew lots before the show

-and today you are going to go first. Ade, great shirt.

-Thank you.

Good to have you here. You're work colleagues. What work do you do?

We work for a company that does food packaging.

We both work in the office there. We do sales and customer service.

-What sort of food is it?

-It's mostly meat.

-Oh, that's a shame.

-If it was cakes.

-THEY LAUGH

I don't know...meat if you get hungry.

-You'd have to be quite hungry.

-True. But I am actually vegetarian.

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-You'd have to be very hungry.

So what do you like getting up to when you're not packaging meat?

I play a bit of golf. I do a bit cookery

-and I'm determined to learn a musical instrument.

-Which one?

I've tried the ukulele, not very successfully.

And recently I've gone onto the bugle,

because that's even more unsociable.

-So I'm trying the bugle at the moment.

-The bugle. Why not?

-Ade. What about that board?

-Yeah, not too bad.

Not too bad. There's a few I know.

It's just trying to find the right one of the few.

I think what I will go for is...

..Sandy Olsson, Betty Rizzo and Kenickie.

1978. I think that is one of my favourites.

I think that is Grease.

Grease, says Ade. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right, of course.

53.

APPLAUSE

We'll discover how good or bad that is as a score,

but I think that's pretty reasonable. 53 for Grease.

Yeah. Only had one nomination for Best Original Song Oscar

and it was Hopelessly Devoted To You, rather than any of the bigger hits.

-Interesting. It's still a good song.

-Lovely song.

-Now, Sonny.

Welcome back. What happened last time?

Last time, we went out on a round about solo artists who'd

had a number one in the '70s.

I said Alice Cooper and it was the Alice Cooper Group.

Oh, dear. We can put all that behind us.

We can put all of that behind us

because luckily we've got musicals here. Remind us what you do, Sonny.

I'm a student but I also work part-time in the bar with Alec.

-What do you study?

-Mechanical engineering.

-Very good for mixing cocktails.

-Absolutely.

-Just what you need.

Fun at the bar. That's a nice job to have.

It's a nice way to fit in working with a bit of social life.

-Anyway, what are you going to go for?

-There's a few I know.

I'm trying to decide whether to take a risk or not.

I think I'm going to go safe and say Mike Teevee, Violets Beauregarde and

Veruca Salt, and Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, says Sonny.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-Oh, Sonny.

-Yeah, it's a different name.

-Yeah.

I see what's happened there. I'm afraid that's scored you 100 points.

-I'm really sorry.

-Sonny, I'm ever so sorry.

I won't give the correct answer until the end of the pass.

-Then we'll discuss it at length.

-Thank you. Now, Sharon.

-Welcome to the show. Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-What do you do?

-I work in telesales for a brewery.

-Is it a big brewery?

-Very big.

-Scottish brewery? English brewery?

-Probably the best in the world.

-Wow.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-Lovely.

-Mm. Is that fun?

-That sounds like a fun kind of gig.

-Brilliant. I really enjoy it.

Everyone always likes to be rung up by the brewery.

Oh, it's the one telesales person I'd really genuinely like to

hear from. What do you do when you're not doing that?

-I enjoy running. I'm in a running club.

-A running club.

-Now that's taking things to another level.

-Proper races and everything.

Wow. OK. Sharon, what about this board?

Well, again, I know a couple but I think I'm going to go for

that same one and say Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory.

Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory.

Let's see if that's right this time.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Well, you've passed 53.

APPLAUSE

That was a good steal there, Sharon.

Well done. 4 for Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory.

I think it scored so few because so many must have said

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

That's the name of the book but the name of the film

-was changed, but it's a shame.

-It is a shame.

It is a shame for Sonny. Tracey, welcome back.

Now, I think it was Round Two last time that you left.

-Spanish elements. I don't know English elements.

-No.

But this time, Tracey, I think you're going to do very well.

-This is a fun board. You like this.

-Yeah. I don't know the top one.

-Yeah.

-Simba, Mufasa and Pumbaa is Lion King.

Roxie Hart, Chicago.

Frank-N-Furter is The Rocky Horror Show.

I'm going to go for my lookalike and namesake, Tracy Turnblad

-and that's Hairspray.

-Hairspray, says Tracey.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Hairspray.

16. Well done.

APPLAUSE

Well played. Good answer, good score.

It's my all-time favourite musical, Hairspray. I do like Hairspray.

Let's look at the other ones that you suggested.

See if you made the right choice there.

Simba, Mufasa and Pumbaa, obviously The Lion King.

That would have scored more than Hairspray. It would have scored 72.

The Roxie Hart trio. They were in Chicago, as you said.

That would have scored 27,

so again would have scored more than Hairspray.

Dr Frank-N-Furter and the rest were from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Would have scored you 11 points.

And the best answer of all, Stacee Jaxx, Dennis Dupree

and Sherrie Christian were from Rock Of Ages.

-Ah.

-Would have scored you 1 point, so very well done if you said that.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

4 the best score of that pass,

Sharon. Well done. That puts you and Tony at the top of the board.

Then up to 16 where we find Tracy and David. 53, Ade and Mark.

I'm sorry, Sonny and Alec. I'm really sorry.

Alec, we need a good low score from you

and maybe someone else might trip up.

I don't want to wish that on anyone but it might happen.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more sets of characters on the board

and here they come.

I'll read those all again one last time.

There we are.

We are looking for the title of the film musical in which these

characters all appeared.

David, you're going to try to find the one the fewest people knew.

David, welcome back.

Good to have you here. Remind us what you do.

-I'm an analyst clerk.

-An analyst clerk.

-In your spare time, a Stockport County fan.

-Oh, yes.

-Very good.

-And what else?

-I listen to music, reading, watching films.

-Watching films. Watching musical films?

-Oh, God, no.

-Oh, really?

-No, no. I've only watched about...

There's a couple of them on the board there I have watched but, no.

-I've only watched them in the last couple of years.

-OK.

You look positively affronted there.

OK, maybe this might be your lucky break, Alec and Sonny. I don't know.

Let's see. David, what are you going to go for?

I'll go for the third one down. I think my dad likes that.

-My Fair Lady?

-You're going to say My Fair Lady. OK.

Well, you want to score 83 or less to get through to the next round.

Let's see if My Fair Lady is right. Let's see how many people said it.

There's your red line.

Please.

He's right. You're through.

56.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 72. David, well done, you're through.

Well played. It won eight Oscars, including Best Picture, My Fair Lady.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Tony. Welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

What do you do, Tony?

I currently work in business solutions for a global beer company.

A global...Tell me it's not probably the best, is it?

-I think it might be.

-No. You work in the same place?

-We do.

-Did you meet working there?

We met at our previous employment for a high street chemist,

probably the best high street chemist in the world.

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-Wow.

OK, so you both skipped out of the chemists straight into the brewery.

-Yeah. We can't get enough of each other.

-Now, Tony, you're on 4,

the high scorers still Alec and Sonny at this point.

You need to score 95 or less.

OK. I think I know four of them.

Possibly a fifth but I'm not going to guess it, just in case.

I was really trying to think what the first one was

and it's just come to me in the last few seconds,

so I'm going to say Blousey, Tallulah and Fat Sam,

Bugsy Malone.

Bugsy Malone. Bugsy Malone. There is your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said Bugsy Malone.

It's right and you're through.

-15.

-APPLAUSE

19 is your total. Very well done, Tony.

Yes. Directed by Alan Parker.

He played a pivotal role in the last Pointless, didn't he?

I think it was Dean who misnamed him as Neil Parker

and got knocked out in the head-to-head.

-Also starring Dexter Fletcher.

-Yes.

-Who was in another show a couple back.

-Exactly.

-It all comes together.

-It all comes together. It's like The Da Vinci Code, this programme.

-Is it?

-But better.

-Not better. It couldn't be better than The Da Vinci Code.

-Oh, no, it's better.

-Is it?

-Yes, it's better. No-one dies.

LAUGHTER

I need to talk to you about something. We'll do it after the show.

OK. Thanks very much. All right.

Alec. Here's the plan.

Here's the plan.

We need from you a very, very low score.

I think I'm going to have to go for...the two I know left that

I think will be the lower score and it's going to be the bottom one.

-I'm going to say it's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, says Alec.

No red line as you're the high scorers.

How many of our 100 people said Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

It's right.

55.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to an unbeatable 155. I'm sorry.

That's tough. You know we talked the other day about

Chris Evans buying the most expensive car ever?

He bought James Coburn's Ferrari.

-That's right.

-He also bought the original Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

-Did he?

-For half a million.

-Well, it was a bargain.

-Compared to James Coburn's Ferrari.

-He can fly. He can...you know.

-Yeah, it's true.

-Hey.

-He's no mug, is he?

-Oh, no, not Evans.

-He's got a car and a helicopter for the price...

-Doesn't need a helicopter.

-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang can do everything.

-Clever.

-Wow. Brilliant.

Thank you. Now, Mark. The good news is you are through.

You are through to the next round. Welcome to the show, Mark.

-You work alongside Ade.

-I do, yes. For about 20 years.

For about 20 years. In the office of the meat-packing?

-I used to work in production.

-Right on the floor?

-Yes.

-Did you wear a white trilby?

-Yeah. All the trousers and everything.

-Oh.

-Excellent.

-I've since moved into sales with Adrian.

-Very good.

And what do you like getting up to when you're not doing that?

I taught Ade the ukulele for a little while, so I play myself.

-One was bought for me a couple years ago for Christmas.

-Right.

-So you're persevering with the ukulele?

-I've kept it up, yeah.

-You've kept it up?

-I have.

-And how's the bugle going to go?

-It's not going to go well.

-I'm going to be honest.

I think that's a curious choice of instrument. The bugle.

-It makes you stand out in the crowd.

-That's certainly true.

-Comes in very useful every November. Last Post.

-Yeah, I guess.

-That's true.

-I just can't play it.

LAUGHTER

Start with the First Post then work your way through.

-Get to the last one.

-Now then, Mark.

This board is all yours.

Well, thankfully I haven't got to get a low score

because musicals are not my forte.

One I do know that's left is Mr Bumble, The Artful Dodger and Nancy.

-Oliver!

-Oliver!

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it?

No red line. You're already through.

It's right.

84. That's a high score. Look at that.

APPLAUSE

84 takes your total up to 137, but you are in Round Two.

It also won the Best Picture Oscar, Oliver! funnily enough.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

Don Lockwood, Cosmo Brown and Kathy Selden are from

Singin' In The Rain.

Would have scored you 5 points.

Sky Masterson, Sarah Brown and Nathan Detroit are...

-Guys And Dolls.

-..Guys And Dolls. That would have scored you 14 points.

Now, you'll know Hunk, Zeke and Hickory, especially

when you know they turn into...

The Scarecrow, The Lion and The Tin Man.

They're the farm hands at the start of The Wizard Of OZ.

-4 points, best answer on the board.

-Very good. Thanks, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair heading home, I'm

really sorry to say, for the second time running, it's Alec and Sonny.

-I'm sorry.

-It's OK. We'll just go for a pint.

Do that. I'm really sorry.

Bit of a busman's holiday for you, isn't it?

Nothing I can say really but it's been great having you on the show.

Far too brief on both occasions but thanks very much for playing.

Alec and Sonny.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain.

At the end of this round we'll be saying goodbye to another

pair in time for our head-to-head round. Well, Sharon and Tony.

On the evidence of that round, you're our class swots.

So, very well done.

The two lowest scores. Very good. Very impressive indeed.

Ade and Mark. Could do better. Need to pull our socks up a little bit.

Nothing wrong with your answers. They were just high-scoring.

And Tracey and David, pretty perfect. Pretty good.

Solid performance in the middle there.

OK, best of luck to all three pairs Our category for Round Two

is...

Women Athletes.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Female British Champions, Richard.

In a moment, Xander's going to put

four sporting accolades up on the board.

We're looking for the name of any British woman who has ever

achieved any of the four things you're about to see.

Any British woman who's achieved any of the following four accolades.

OK, we're going to put these four accolades up on the board.

They'll stay up there for the whole round,

so up the line and back down again.

They won't be changing halfway through.

And you only have to name any woman from the UK

who's won any of these. So let's reveal those four accolades.

And here they come.

I'll read them one last time.

The tennis Grand Slam title.

It can be in singles, doubles, mixed doubles.

Any Grand Slam title, essentially. It doesn't have to be singles.

Thanks very much indeed. So.

-Mark.

-Yeah.

-Over to you.

There's a few knocking around in my head.

I'm going to take a little bit of a punt.

I'm going to go for the post-war tennis Grand Slam title.

-I think Jo Durie won a mixed doubles.

-Jo Durie.

OK. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Jo Durie.

It's right. That's a good answer, Mark.

Still going down.

2. That is a great answer. Look at that.

APPLAUSE

Cracking start to the round, Mark. Well done.

Yes, she won two, actually. She won two mixed doubles titles.

One in Wimbledon, one in Australia, both with Jeremy Bates.

-It's not bad, is it?

-Not bad at all. Now then, Tony.

I'm going to be honest, you didn't look best pleased with this.

No. I know very little about both women and athletes,

so I may be struggling.

A couple of names in my head.

And I think I'm going to go for a post-war Olympic track

and field gold medal and plump for

-Fatima Whitbread.

-Fatima Whitbread.

Let's see. Fatima Whitbread.

Is that right and if it is, how many people said it?

Oh, no. Bad luck. I'm sorry.

An incorrect answer, scoring you the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

Yes, unlucky. She won all sorts, Fatima Whitbread.

She won two Olympic medals but not a gold, I'm afraid. Sorry.

Thanks, Richard. So, David. What are you going to go for?

-Is the bottom one golf?

-It is, yeah.

I'll say Laura Davies.

Laura Davies, says David.

Let's see if Laura Davies is right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

1. Very well done indeed, David. One for Laura Davies.

APPLAUSE

Well played. One of the greatest British golfers of all time.

Won her first British Open in 1986,

just her second year as a professional. At Birkdale.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 1, David.

What a great end to that pass.

Puts you and Tracey in pole position at this point. Up to 2

where we find Mark and Ade.

Then, I'm afraid, it's up to 100 where we find Tony and Sharon.

Who knows, Sharon. Anything could happen in the next pass.

But a low score from you is what we will need at the very least.

Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Tracey.

We are looking for the name of any woman from the UK who has won

any of these.

-How are you feeling?

-Top one and bottom one. Not going there at all.

Grand Slam title.

Wimbledon's a Grand Slam, so I'm going to say Virginia Wade.

-Virginia Wade.

-Yeah.

-OK, well.

If you can score 98 or less,

you are through to the head-to-head.

There is your red line.

Get below that with Virginia Wade and you're moving on.

It's right, well done.

39.

APPLAUSE

Makes it nice and neat. Takes your total to 40.

Yeah, she won the US Open, the Australian Open

and Wimbledon, Virginia Wade. Her dad was the Archdeacon of Durban.

Archdeacon. They're probably Right Reverend or something like that.

Archdeacon. I think you call them either Archie...

or AD.

-Or the Deakster.

-The Deakster. Thank you very much.

-Your Deakster.

Your Deakster. Brilliant.

Now then, Sharon.

We need this low score.

Are you comfortable with this as a round? Is this a nice...

The only ones in my head have all been taken.

There's only one I've got left and I don't know if it's right,

to be honest. But I'm going to have to go for it. For the tennis.

-Chris Evert.

-Chris Evert, says Sharon.

OK, let's see how many people said Chris Evert.

No red line as you're the high scorers.

No. Bad luck, Sharon.

I'm afraid you are our latest members of the 200 Club.

A second incorrect answer takes your score to 200. Not Chris Evert.

-Yes, not British, I'm afraid.

-Oh. Was she not?

-Other than that, exemplary.

LAUGHTER

So then, Ade.

You're already through, which is good, good news.

Well done. What are you going to go for?

Definitely not the top one

because I don't know anything about equestrian.

Women's British Open.

I could probably have a stab at one but it would be a stab.

I'm going to go for post-war Olympic track gold medal,

going back to when I was a child.

I believe Mary Peters.

Mary Peters, says Ade. Mary Peters.

No red line for you as you're already through. Let's find out.

Mary Peters. Is it right? How many people said it, if it is?

Look at that!

APPLAUSE

Wow. That scored you 6. Takes your total up to 8.

Yeah, 6 points for Mary Peters.

Thinking of Fatima Whitbread, she was famously beaten by Tessa Sanderson.

She beat her to the gold.

She would have got 9 points.

Would have been a terrific answer.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

The golfer Alison Nicholas would've been a pointless answer.

Angela Buxton won two Grand Slam doubles titles.

Angela Mortimer won three singles titles. She also won doubles titles.

She won one of those with Anne Shilcock,

who was also a pointless answer.

Janet Melville and Jenny Lee-Smith, both British Open winners.

As was Penny Grice-Whittaker. Shirley Bloomer Brasher won

a Grand Slam singles title and Tina Cook was the only pointless

answer there for equestrian medallists.

She won the silver for the Team Equestrian.

Let's take a look at the top three answers, the ones most of our

100 people said.

Zara Phillips, of course won an equestrian medal.

Virginia Wade, second highest answer with 39.

-And right at the top, Jessica Ennis with 44.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair heading home with

a high score of 200, I'm afraid, Sharon and Tony.

Oh. From hero to zero.

You absolutely knocked it out of the park in the first round

and then here we threw all these women athletes at you

and I'm afraid we threw them on stony ground, didn't we?

-Yes.

-Anyway, good news is we get to see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that very much.

Thanks very much for playing. Sharon and Tony.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Tracey and David, Ade and Mark.

You're one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

Now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money in the final

and to do that, you are now going to go head to head.

The big difference being you're now allowed to confer. The first player

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Tracey and David. Round Two last time.

Taking it up a gear. Not just in the head-to-head,

-you're our golden couple. You're our lowest scoring pair.

-Oh, my God.

-Yeah. Ade and Mark. Very well done.

-Thank you.

-Very well done.

Nice solid performance. Some good scoring there. Best of luck.

I think this is going to be very exciting.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Breeds of cattle, Richard.

We're going to show you five images of different breeds of cattle.

Plus we're going to give you the first and last letters of their name.

Can you fill in the gaps and tell us what breed they are?

OK, thanks very much.

So let's reveal our breeds of cattle. Here they are.

XANDER AND RICHARD: Aww.

There we go. Five breeds of cattle.

Tracey and David, you've played best throughout the show

so you will go first.

THEY CONFER

-Go on.

-Yeah.

-OK. What are you going to go for?

-We're going to go for A - Hereford.

Hereford, you're saying.

Hereford. Now then. Ade and Mark.

-Do you want to talk us through that board?

-Oh, yes.

Come on, you're meat packers.

LAUGHTER

I know which one's the scariest.

They all look pretty scary to me.

-Oh, not D.

-D's quite a nice one.

D's a Jersey.

E's Aberdeen Angus.

I'm going to take a plump at B.

I think he's a Belgian Blue.

I think it's the scariest as well.

LAUGHTER

You're saying Belgian Blue.

OK, we have Hereford and we have Belgian Blue. Tracey and David

said Hereford. Let's see if that's right for A and if is,

let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

47.

APPLAUSE

47 for Hereford.

-Now, Ade and Mark, you've taken a bit of a punt here...

-Very much.

..on the Belgian Blue. Particularly seeing as it's patently white.

LAUGHTER

-It's camouflaged.

-Oh, I see. Yes. Or just a bit pale.

-Not very well.

Not in the rudest of health. OK, Belgian Blue, you're saying.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many said it.

It's right.

There you are, look at that.

Very well done, indeed. 10 for Belgian Blue.

That was a punt worth taking.

And it means, Ade and Mark, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Very well played. Mark gave you a great look when you said Belgian Blue.

He had the look of a person who's not quite sure

whether to believe in Father Christmas or not.

Yeah, it's been genetically altered, Belgian Blue, through breeding

to be double muscled.

More muscle is meat, of course.

Exactly. That's why he looks like he does. C is Highland.

Another fairly big scorer for that.

Would have scored you 62.

D, I think everyone knew, is Jersey.

Very big scorer.

90 points for that.

And Ade, you gave us the right answer for E. It is Aberdeen Angus.

It would have scored 38. So Belgian Blue is the best answer on the board.

-Well played.

-Lovely country there. What a nice view.

-It's a nice view.

I don't think they're appreciating it. They've got their backs to it.

Maybe it's just as nice on this side, I don't know.

-No, they're looking out onto the studio.

-Oh, yeah.

They can see Tracey and David and Ade and Mark.

-They're going, "Is this weird? This seems a bit weird to me."

-Beautiful.

That's some beautiful parkland, there. Very well managed.

Anyway, thank you very much indeed. Let's go to our second question.

Tracey and David. You answer this one second, I'm afraid.

Ade and Mark get first bite at this.

But you have to win it to stay in the game. Good luck.

It concerns...

Ealing Comedies.

We're going to show you the titles of five comedies,

produced by the Ealing Studios, but with alternate letters missing.

Can you fill in the gaps and give us the most obscure answer?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five Ealing Comedies and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Ade and Mark, you will go first this time.

I know the middle one which is The Ladykillers.

You've got Kind Hearts And Coronets.

You've got Passport To Pimlico.

You've got Whisky Galore!

What do you want to go for?

Go for the second one.

Whatever you think will be best.

-Ladykillers. Yeah?

-OK.

Ade and Mark.

-Do you know all of them?

-No.

-Apart from the bottom one.

-Know all of them apart...

-Same here.

So, we are going to have another plump at the third one

-and go for The Ladykillers.

-The Ladykillers, say Ade and Mark.

The Ladykillers. Now then, Tracey and David, the board is all yours.

We'll have a guess at the top one. Passport To Pimlico.

Passport To Pimlico, you are going to say.

We have The Ladykillers and we have Passport To Pimlico. Ade and Mark

went with The Ladykillers for the middle one. Let's see

if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

That's a good answer. 17...

-APPLAUSE

-..for The Ladykillers.

Tracey and David have gone for Passport To Pimlico for the top one.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

36.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Ade and Mark, very well done indeed.

After only two questions, you're straight through to the final 2-0.

Well played, Ade and Mark. That's terrific work.

-The scores actually go downwards, down the board.

-Oh, no.

Second one is...

-Whisky Galore!

-Whisky Galore! Yeah.

Would have scored you 20 points. So would you have gone for...

-Kind Hearts And Coronets.

-It would have scored you 14 points...

amazingly. And the bottom one.

It's The something.

-There's lots of English words that fit in that.

-Walnut?

LAUGHTER

It's not The Walnut. Nearly though.

There's all sorts that can fit in there, that's the problem.

I'll give you a clue. It's a very attractive answer.

Oh, The Magnet.

-The Magnet.

-Once you started saying walnuts, you just can't...

And that would have scored 1 point, so it's the best answer up there.

One of the best times you can have is just get a box set of Ealing Comedies

-and watch them back-to-back. Some terrific stuff.

-Really are.

-I saw Ben Miller on stage in The Ladykillers.

-He's very good in that.

-He's a very funny man.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

-He is terrific. It must be a joy for you to work with him.

-Yeah, it is.

Just to see how somebody,

-to properly see up close, a great comic actor.

-Yes.

Have you ever picked anything up off him?

You always hope that you do.

-You hope a bit of osmosis...

-Doesn't seem to, does it?

-Because he's terrific.

-He is. He really is. Thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Tracey and David we say goodbye to. Oh, I'm sorry.

Your progress ended there. Nothing wrong with any of your answers.

-You knew...

-BOTH:

-Kind Hearts And Coronets.

I'm sorry.

-I won't hear the last of this.

-No.

-Never.

-I dare say you won't.

You can be very proud of your performance.

You've done very well. I'm sorry we have to say goodbye.

-Thanks very much for playing, Tracey and Dave.

-Cheers.

APPLAUSE

But for Ade and Mark, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Ade and Mark. You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, you've done very well. We put you through your paces.

We've tested you on musicals, we've tested you on female athletes.

We've tested you on beef. We've tested you...

Sorry, breeds of cow.

Breeds of cow, I think, is the nice way to put it.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Music would be good for me.

-A bit of sport.

-A bit of sport, maybe. Football, particularly.

-Comedies.

-Comedies. Well, very best of luck.

As you know, you get to choose your category. Here they are.

I think there's only one choice.

I know we live in East Anglia, but we don't know that much about it.

-No.

-Costume dramas.

-THEY LAUGH

-Don't think I've ever watched one.

Goon films. Probably to do with

The Goons but I think it's the bottom one.

-The bottom one, yeah.

-We'll go for the north-west FA Cup finals.

North-west FA Cup finals it is.

We're going to give you three different options.

We are looking for any player

from either side that featured in one of these north-west FA Cup finals.

Anyone who played in the 1953 FA Cup final.

The famous final between Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers.

We're looking for anyone who played in the Liverpool V Everton

1986 FA Cup final. Or anyone who played in the

Manchester United versus Liverpool 1996 FA Cup final.

So, anyone who featured in the 1953, 1986,

-or 1996 FA Cup final. Very, very best of luck.

-OK. As always, you've got up

to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is to find just one pointless answer

among them. The answers you give can come from any of those categories

and how you spread them across the categories is up to you.

You have all three from one category if you like, or one from each.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-53's out.

-BOTH:

-Stan Mortensen.

-86.

-Derek Mountfield, Everton?

-Yes.

-Gary Stevens. Trevor Stevens.

-Ronnie Whelen?

-Yeah.

Derek Mountfield. Southall would have been playing.

-Steve Nicol.

-96?

-Cantona. David James.

-Yeah.

-Steve Staunton?

-Possibly, yeah.

-Steve Staunton's a good shout.

-Who should we go for?

-Derek Mountfield.

-Mountfield for '86.

-Staunton for '96?

-Gary...Craig Johnston, sorry.

Craig Johnston would have been playing, yeah. Liverpool.

Mountfield, Johnston for '86. And '96, take a punt at...

Gary Gillespie?

Do you want to go for that?

-You say them, because I'll forget them.

-OK.

-Ten seconds left.

-Mountfield...

-..Gillespie.

-And?

Go for Staunton or Craig Johnston?

-OK.

-Yeah, go for that.

There's your time up just as you reached your conclusion.

-Which three are you going to give me.

-Players in the 1986 final.

-We're going to go for Derek Mountfield.

-Derek Mountfield.

-And Craig Johnston.

-Craig Johnston from '86.

-And from '96, we're going to go for Gary Gillespie.

-Gary Gillespie.

OK, three good answers there. Of those three, which do you think

is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Mountfield?

-Mountfield. Derek Mountfield.

Derek Mountfield we'll put last. Which is your least likely?

-Gary Gillespie.

-Gary Gillespie. OK, we'll put Gary Gillespie first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order. And here they are.

Well, very best of luck. Your first answer was Gary Gillespie.

This was the one you thought was probably least likely to be

pointless. You're not entirely sure if it's correct.

He did play for Liverpool but we're not sure if he played at that time.

Only one of these answers has to be pointless to win that jackpot.

£1,000 is our starter jackpot, but still nice to leave with.

-What would you do with your split of that?

-I think ukulele lessons.

Professional ukulele lessons and get it cracked.

-Get it cracked. And maybe the bugle, too.

-Yeah, two for one.

-Excellent. Mark, how about you?

-I'm planning to get married

-so, obviously, it'll have to go into the wedding fund.

-Very good.

Into the wedding fund. Good stuff. Congratulations for that.

Well, best of luck. Three good answers there.

Gary Gillespie, as I say, your first answer.

This, obviously, the 1996 FA Cup final. Let's see if that's right.

If it is pointless, you will leave with £1,000.

How many people said Gary Gillespie?

Oh. Well, that's why you put him first.

Unfortunately, an incorrect answer. Not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer is Craig Johnston.

Craig Johnston you had from the 1986 FA Cup final.

Obviously, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

For £1,000, let's find out how many people said Craig Johnston.

It's right.

Your first answer, Gary Gillespie, was an incorrect answer

but your second answer absolutely spot-on,

now taking us down into the teens...into single figures.

Still going down. Down it goes. Still going...

-You've got it! There we go!

-CHEERING

Very well done. Ukulele lessons here we come.

-Very well done.

-Thanks, Xander.

-Very Well done.

APPLAUSE

Brilliant.

The office will be ringing to the sound of bugles, ukuleles.

Many congratulations. And Craig Johnston was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot.

Superb play. Well done, Ade and Mark.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Very well played. Two lads from Essex winning with a Liverpool player.

Very well done. Derek Mountfield

-also a pointless answer.

-Oh.

APPLAUSE

You also mentioned Gary Stevens during your summation.

He'd have been a pointless answer as well.

It's obviously a very good category for you.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers on the different categories.

That '53 final. Stanley Matthews, Nat Lofthouse and Stan Mortensen

were the big scorers on that. That's why it's the most famous final.

4-3 it was. Bobby Langton, Cyril Robinson.

Eric Bell scored a Bolton goal.

And the Blackpool captain Harry Johnson. All pointless.

Well done if you said any of those.

Now, in the '86 final. Adrian Heath you could have had.

Bobby Mimms, who played in goal for Everton.

Craig Johnston, Graeme Sharpe.

You also could've had Gary Stevens, Pat Van Den Hauwe, Paul Bracewell

also a pointless answer.

And the '96 final.

David May of Manchester United.

And then three Liverpool defenders.

John Scales, Phil Babb and Rob Jones, who retired when he was 27.

And Tony Warner, the unused Liverpool sub goalie also a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Congratulations in the studio.

-Thanks very much.

Thanks to our winning players...

-APPLAUSE

-..Ade and Mark who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Join us next time when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE