Episode 32 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Hilary, and this is my daughter Rachel,

and we come from Radcliffe near Manchester.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, I'm Barbara, this is my husband Chris,

and we're from Collingham in Nottinghamshire.

Couple number three.

Hello, I'm Sam, I'm from Redditch,

and this is my friend, Neil, from Solihull.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Claire, and I'm from Barry Island,

and this is my work friend, Emyr, and he's from Cardiff.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thanks so much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He wanted me to thank all our viewers for his lovely fan mail,

except for Lynn from Goole, whose charcoal sketch of him

sitting on the loo, and, I quote, shocked him to the very core.

It is my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. APPLAUSE

Hi, everybody.

-Good day to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

We've got two returning pairs from last time, Emyr and Claire.

Got knocked out in Round Two, I think,

and Chris and Barbara got knocked out in Round One.

So, both with something to prove.

It's always nice when we have people whose names add up to a celebrity.

We've had Moira Stewart. We had Ang Lee the other day.

We've got Sam Neill on podium three. It's nice, isn't it?

Round One today you're going to love.

-Am I?

-Absolutely up your street.

Anybody our age is going to absolutely adore it.

That said, I will say now,

anybody who says, "That's a bit before my time,"

is in big, big trouble.

-No-one to say that.

-Brilliant.

Although, it will be before your time.

Thank you very much indeed.

Every question on Pointless has been asked

to 100 people before the show.

The aim of the game is to find

a pointless answer, that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Laura and Amanda won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless!

APPLAUSE

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated.

There is to be no conferring during the round itself.

Our category for Round One is...

Music.

So far, so good.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

The question concerns...

..'80s pop. '80s pop. Just a dream come true. Richard?

In a moment, Xander's going to show you a list of

six pop acts famous in the '80s.

We're looking for any top 40 single any of them had

during the 1980s, please.

Any single in the top 40 for any of these groups in the 1980s.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much. We're going to put six pop acts on the board.

They will remain all the way through the round.

They won't be changing halfway through.

We'll go up the line, come back down, but they'll stay on the board.

All we're after is any UK top 40 single by any of these bands.

Good luck. Let's put our six bands up.

Hilary and Rachel, you drew lots before the show

and, today, you are going first.

Hilary, welcome to the show, great to have you here. What do you do?

-I work as a theatre dresser.

-Now, I know what that means.

-It doesn't mean you dress theatres!

-No, I don't,

I dress the people who work in theatres on stage.

You're responsible for when they run off

and run back on wearing something different.

How long have you done that for?

I've done it since 2005, something like that.

-Do you love it?

-I do, I really enjoy it.

-You must get to see so many plays as well.

-Yes.

And musicals, all sorts.

Good stuff. Now, Hilary,

I would have thought this would be right up your street

-but you're not looking as happy as I'd have hoped.

-No.

I haven't a clue. I knew this would happen. Erm...

Just everything's gone straight from my head.

Er...

You're The One That I Want.

SHE LAUGHS

I knew this would happen.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

You're The One That I Want, says Hilary.

Let's see if that is by any of these bands.

You're The One That I Want.

No. Oh, I'm sorry, Hilary. It's always hard on that first podium.

I kind of knew it.

You'll hear some answers that might give you ideas.

Not that there's much you can do.

But still, 100 points, I'm afraid, that's scored you.

That is tough. As the round goes on,

you know there are so many answers up here that you know.

-Sometimes, you can see it, the brain won't let you access them.

-Exactly.

-Barbara, welcome back to the show.

-Hello, there.

Remind us what you do.

I'm an assistant practice manager at a GP's surgery.

How did you and Chris meet?

We met at a friend's wedding, 37 years ago.

-I was bridesmaid, he was usher.

-Very nice.

Listen, Barbara.

A UK top 40 hit by any one of these bands.

I'll go for Last Christmas.

Last Christmas. Last Christmas, says Barbara.

Let's see if that's right,

and how many of our 100 people said Last Christmas?

Our highest score is 100, so you beat that.

-39, not bad.

-APPLAUSE

Safe answer. Biggest selling single of all time

that didn't get to number one.

Thanks, Richard.

-Sam, welcome.

-Hi.

-Welcome to the show. What do you do, Sam?

I'm a watch designer.

-Are you?

-Yes.

-In your own right, or for a watch design company?

I work for a watch design company.

How long have you been designing watches?

I have been designing for about four-and-a-half years.

Do you have a favourite watch?

I do have several favourite watches.

You tend to accumulate quite a collection, being a designer.

Lots of inspiration.

Sam, what about this board? Is this good for you?

This is actually quite good for me.

-A bit before my time!

-LAUGHTER

However, I'm going to say The Smiths,

and I'm going to say, How Soon Is Now.

How Soon Is Now, says Sam.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said How Soon Is Now?

It's right.

39 is our low score at the moment. You've passed that.

-Ten.

-APPLAUSE

Very, very well played, Sam. That's a great answer.

Ten points.

Well played, Sam.

Not a huge hit, actually, but became one of their more iconic songs,

How Soon Is Now?

Thanks, Richard.

-Emyr?

-Hello.

Welcome back. Round Two, last time.

-Yes.

-Ashes Cricketers. Yes.

So, Emyr, back we come. How is the '80s for you?

Very good. It's very much my era.

Just racking my brain which one to pick. So...

But I think I'm going to go for Duran Duran, and Union Of The Snake.

Union Of The Snake.

That was the one I originally thought of,

-but I've thought of another one now!

-EMYR LAUGHS

Let's see how you and I would have done.

Union Of The Snake, is it right, and how many people said it?

It's right.

Well, 10 is our low score.

You've passed that, 2!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Union Of The Snake.

You scored two.

Good answer, Emyr.

This is literally a perfect round for so many at home.

-People are getting hundreds of the answers.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's look at our scores - we're halfway through the round.

Very well done, Emyr, that's the best score of that part.

2 sets you pretty much straight for the rest of this round.

Then, up to 10 where we see Sam and Neil.

39, Barbara and Chris.

Then Hilary and Rachel, I'm sorry, languishing on 100.

Rachel, we'll need a low score from you.

Best of luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Now, Claire.

Remember, we are looking for any UK top 40 single by any of these bands.

-Claire. Remind us what you do?

-I'm a civil servant.

-And you live in Barry.

-Barry Island, yes.

What do you get up to on Barry Island?

I live right next to the beach which is really handy

because I've just started having personal training.

I've been running along the beach like Rocky.

-Oh, fantastic.

-With my trainer.

-"There's no tomorrow."

-No.

-With your trainer? Yes.

-With a towel around his neck?

Yeah, full-on.

Lots of tyre flipping and hammering tyres, generally being quite macho.

Hammering tyres?

Is that... I suppose beach personal training may be different

from other personal training.

Is that just stuff you find lying on a beach in Barry?

-No. He brings it in his van.

-He brings it!

You've never done that?

Big, old tractor tyres you whack with sledgehammers.

Yeah. That's it.

My personal training, when I've done it, has been so tame.

-I haven't hit a single tyre with a sledgehammer.

-It's great.

-It sounds brilliant.

-It's really good fun.

-You do it too?

-Yeah.

-On a beach in Barry?

Not on a beach in Barry, no. On a beach with Barry!

LAUGHTER

So, Claire.

-You have to score 97 or less...

-The pressure's on.

..and you are through, or arguably, it's not.

I'll go for Wham!

Because I was a big fan

and I'm going to go for Freedom.

Freedom, says Claire.

Freedom. There is your red line. You get below that, you're in round two.

Let's see. Was that an '80s hit for Wham!?

It's right! Very well done indeed, Claire. Oh!

-Well done!

-Look at that. Our only single-figure total of the round.

Very well done indeed on podium four.

Claire and Emyr, your total is seven.

Well played, Claire, a number one from 1984.

Thanks, Richard.

Neil, welcome to the show. What do you do, Neil?

I'm also a watch designer,

so I've been designing for nearly ten years now. Not always watches.

What did you design before that?

Men's accessories. Bags, wallets, giftware, jewellery.

-Fantastic. So, do you work alongside Sam, then?

-We used to work together.

We're now actually competing against each other in the watch industry.

-What, a rival?

-Yeah.

-He's a rival.

Who's the big hand, who's the little hand?

I would say we're on the same level.

-We're great at collaborating together.

-OK. Very good.

So, Neil, there you are on ten.

The high scorers are Rachel and Hilary on 100.

89 or less is what you need.

OK, so, in the back of my mind I'm thinking

The Bangles might have sung Eternal Flame.

Eternal Flame, says Neil. Here's your red line.

If you get below this red line, you're in round two.

Let's see how many people said Eternal Flame.

It's right, and you're through.

32.

APPLAUSE

Very well done. 42 is your total.

Number one single from 1989. Did exactly what you had to do there.

Atomic Kitten did a cover as well, didn't they?

But The Bangles, a very good version.

-Now then, Chris, welcome back.

-Hi.

Now, we discovered last time that you are retired

but sometimes help out at the practice with Barbara.

-You're a beekeeper.

-Absolutely, yes.

What is there around and about you for the bees to feed on?

Is there anything predominantly that they...?

Well, we live in a village,

so it's mainly flora that surround the village.

Fortunately there are fields close by.

Particularly during May and June, lots of oilseed rape,

-and the bees see the yellow...

-And they love it.

The honey's not as nice...

I was going to say, it's quite a pungent flavour, that, isn't it?

Yeah, it's got an acquired taste to it.

-Still, nice enough.

-Yeah.

Anyway, there you are. You're on 39.

Rachel and Hilary still on 100, still our high scorers.

-So, 60 or less.

-Yeah.

Not enough lead guitar in it for me, I'm afraid, these bands.

I can sing lots of them. I'm going to go with a Duran Duran one.

Fingers crossed, because I've got it in my mind, Hungry Like The Wolf.

Hungry Like The Wolf, says Chris.

OK. Here's your red line.

Get below that and you're in round two.

Let's see how many people said Hungry Like The Wolf.

Very well done, you're through.

19!

-58, your total.

-Thank you.

Yeah, good answer, of course, Clara sings that on Doctor Who

and saves the world. Her version of Hungry Like The Wolf.

Thank you very much indeed. Now then, Rachel.

I'm afraid, there you are.

Still our high scorers and you haven't yet given your answer.

-Rachel, what do you do?

-I am also a dresser.

-Are you really?

-I am.

-The same theatre?

-No, we used to work in the same theatre,

-but now I'm in the Royal Exchange Theatre in Manchester.

-I see.

-So you compare notes.

-Yes.

Who do you reckon - don't worry,

your mother won't be able to see this - who do you reckon's better?

Hmmm.

I'm going to have to say me.

LAUGHTER

-Anyhow, Rachel.

-Yes?

Rachel.

It's not too bad for me, so I don't know any brilliant answers so

I wouldn't have got through anyway.

I've got one in my head that I think is the Smiths,

and I was going to go with it to find out whether it's right.

And it's Girlfriend In A Coma.

OK, Girlfriend In A Coma, says Rachel.

No red line, as you're already the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Girlfriend In A Coma.

It's right.

Look at that! Three!

Ah!

CHEERING

Wow!

I'm afraid, a pyrrhic victory, Rachel.

Three takes your total up to 103,

our second lowest score of the entire round.

It's a fabulous answer. Great song.

And under any other circumstances,

it would have seen you comfortably through to round two, but I'm sorry.

It's a great answer, Rachel. Very well played.

They wouldn't have let you back up to Manchester

if at least one of you hadn't named a Smiths song. So very well done.

I'll take you through pointless answers.

There's six different bands, different songs, so six different questions going on. Duran Duran...

Oh, can I try one?

-Course you can.

-Notorious.

-Notorious is a pointless answer.

-Get in!

-Well done.

APPLAUSE

Nicely done. In fact, Duran Duran, there's loads of pointless answers.

You could have had Notorious, I Don't Want Your Love, you could have

had My Own Way, Burning The Ground, Do You Believe In Shame?

Is There Something I Should Know?

New Moon On Monday, All She Wants Is and Careless Memories,

all of those were pointless answers.

The biggest scorers for Duran Duran were Rio and Hungry Like The Wolf.

If we go on to Human League,

the biggest scorer by a mile was Don't You Want Me, with 40 points.

Only two pointless answers for them, Life On Your Own and Open Your Heart.

Well done if you said either of those.

Pet Shop Boys, biggest scorer, West End Girls, for 35.

The lowest scorer with two pointless answers again,

Love Comes Quickly and It's All Right.

Both of those would have been pointless.

The Bangles, Walk Like An Egyptian was the biggest scorer, 34,

just beating Eternal Flame, and their pointless answers,

Be With You, If She Knew What She Wants and Walking Down Your Street.

The Smiths, biggest scorer was in fact, How Soon Is Now

and This Charming Man, at ten points, the biggest scorers there.

Pointless answers, Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me,

Shoplifters Of The World Unite,

Big Mouth Strikes Again, Ask, a pointless answer.

And Wham! The biggest scorer of anything we've had in this round,

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, 57 points.

And pointless answers, only two, Club Fantastic Megamix,

a pointless answer, yep, me neither, or Where Did Your Heart Go?

So very well done if you said any of those many, many,

-many pointless answers.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home with

a high score of 103, I'm sorry, Rachel and Hilary.

-Well. Hilary...

-I know.

Did you start having good ideas when you heard other people's ideas?

As soon as I heard them, it was like...

-Last Christmas, for goodness' sake!

-I know, for goodness' sake!

I know, but as Richard said, once your brain has just frozen,

I know it happens, it happens.

-Never mind.

-Anyway. Great news for us. We'll see you again next time.

Look forward to that very much indeed.

In the meantime, thank you very much for playing, Rachel and Hilary!

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

And now we're down to just three pairs.

Obviously after this round, we'll be down to just two pairs.

I wonder which pair we'll be saying goodbye to?

Emyr and Claire, not you, on the strength of that round.

Fantastic low scoring there!

Sam and Neil, not bad at all either.

Chris and Barbara, a little bit lucky.

A little bit lucky but better. Yeah.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

The category for round two is...

History. Can you decide, in your pairs, who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Things in history beginning with V, Richard.

Yeah, simply going to ask you six questions on each board.

All of the answers begin with V.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are looking for these historical things that begin

with the letter V, and here is our first board of six.

It reads like this.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are - six clues to six historical things

beginning with the letter V.

OK, Barbara. Historical things beginning with V.

How's that board for you?

It's not bad.

I'm not saying too much in case I bomb and get 100.

I would like to go to the palace declared official residence as Versailles.

Versailles, says Barbara.

Let's see if Versailles's right. How many people said it?

It's right.

45.

Not bad, 45, for Versailles.

Yes, a castle and a palace, Versailles.

You can use the words interchangeably for it.

Thank you.

Now, Sam, things beginning with V.

There's a couple on there

which I could have been tempted to guess at,

however there are also a couple that I know.

I'm going to go for the spacecraft launched in 1977

and say Voyager.

Voyager, says, Sam, for the spacecraft.

Let's see if Voyager's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Well, 45 is our only score at the moment.

You've passed that.

21.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That's a terrific answer, yeah, well played.

In 2012 Voyager 1 became the first man-made object

ever to leave the solar system. That's quite cool.

It's currently 12 billion miles away from Earth.

12 billion miles. Imagine if you'd left your keys at home.

-Yeah!

-There's a limit to how far away you are from your house

if you've left something. You just go, "You know what, forget it."

I can't bear it. If I get to the end of my street and I have to turn back it drives me mad.

If I had to go back 12 billion miles

just because I thought I'd left the iron on...

Thanks very much indeed. OK. Now then, Emyr,

you're the last person to have this board.

Do you want to talk us through it and fill in all the Vs?

I think the British queen is Victoria.

Surname of the Dutch painter, I think, is Van Gogh.

The doge, I think that's Venice.

I'm not too sure of...

the name given to the revolution in Czechoslovakia.

The only stab I'd have at that would be Vltava, maybe,

which is the name of the river which goes through Prague.

I'm going to go for surname of the Dutch painter -

Van Gogh.

Van Gogh, says Emyr. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said Van Gogh.

No, I'm sorry, Emyr, not Van Gogh,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

It was Vermeer, I'm afraid,

was the painter of the Girl With A Pearl Earring.

Would've scored you 18 points.

The Doge, you were right, is Venice.

Would have scored you 32, so would've done less damage.

You were right about the queen, as well, you'll be amazed to hear,

it was Victoria,

but barely better than 100, to be honest, would've scored you 92.

-And do you know the name of the revolution?

-Velvet.

The Velvet Revolution. And that would've scored 23 points.

So the best answer on the board, actually, is Vermeer,

-so well done if you said that at home.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

21 the best score of that pass, Sam. Very well done indeed.

45, Barbara and Chris. Well done.

Looking pretty solid at this stage.

Then up to 100, where we find Emyr and Claire.

So, yes, Claire, we need a nice low score from you on the next pass

and let's hope that's enough to see you through.

OK, we're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues on the board, and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are.

Six clues to six historical things beginning with the letter V.

Claire, you're the high scorers,

so we need a nice low score from you.

-What do you make of that board?

-It's OK.

I have a history degree,

which kind of puts me under a little bit of pressure for this round,

but I'm going to go for the first one,

and I think the answer to that is Vichy.

Vichy, says Claire. Vichy.

No red line for you as you're the highest scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Vichy.

Very well done.

29.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

29. Takes your total up to 129.

Named after the provincial town of Vichy.

If you think it's bad for you, having a history degree in this round,

I've got a degree in things beginning with V.

LAUGHTER So there'd be a lot of pressure for me on this.

Neil, now there you are on 21

and through to the head-to-head.

Even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake the high score of Claire and Emyr there.

OK, well, I was hoping you might wangle in a Dutch footballer

as a historical person or event.

But that doesn't seem to have cropped up.

It appears not to have happened, doesn't it?

I think I'm going to guess at the surname of the Italian composer...

possibly Vivaldi.

Vivaldi, says Neil.

No red line, as you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Vivaldi.

-APPLAUSE

-69.

90 is your total.

Yeah, he composed that in 1723.

Most of the work we know of his today

was discovered in a trunk in the 1920s.

That's exciting, isn't it?

And he later on played left-back at Derby County as well.

Thank you very much.

Now then, Chris, you're the last person to have this board.

You also need to score 83 or less.

Do you want to talk us through the board and fill in the blanks?

The bottom one I'm not certain,

but beginning with V... it's got to be Vietnam, hasn't it?

The Roman Emperor, Vespasian, maybe.

French Enlightenment writer and philosopher, I couldn't tell you.

I will go for the Roman poet who wrote the Aeneid as Virgil.

OK, writer of the Aeneid, Virgil, says Chris.

There's your red line.

If you get below that with Virgil, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many people said Virgil.

Very well done.

Good answer.

26.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

71 your total.

Well played, Chris, good answer.

Yeah, Virgil. He was a poet, he was a thinker, he was a Thunderbird.

Many, many things, Virgil.

Erm, better answer would've been the Roman Emperor.

You're quite right, it was Vespasian,

and that would've scored you 6 points.

You're right about the Vietnam War as well, down the bottom there.

That would've scored you a few more, would've scored you 36.

And the philosopher.

-Voltaire.

-Is Voltaire.

Yep. And that would've scored 14.

But the best answer on the board was Vespasian, well done,

and well done if you said that at home as well.

Thanks very much. At the end of our second round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 129 are Claire and Emyr.

Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.

Really not bad at all with your Vichy answer,

that was a cracking answer.

I'm sorry, though, Emyr,

it was your Van Gogh.

Such a good performance in the first round though,

I really thought that was you

set for the head-to-head and beyond, possibly.

But I'm afraid you've tumbled

at the things beginning with V.

I'm really sorry. Anyway, we have to say goodbye.

It's been lovely having you on the show, thanks so much for playing.

Claire and Emyr.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Chris and Barbara, Sam and Neil.

You are now one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

Now we have to decide who's going to go through to the final and play for that money,

and, to do that, you are now going to go head-to-head.

This time, obviously, you're allowed to confer

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot. Welcome to the head-to-head.

Chris and Barbara, you've been on Pointless before,

but you haven't been this far before.

Sam and Neil, first time on Pointless. How are you feeling?

-All right?

-Feeling good.

And, Chris and Barbara,

-I am well pleased with you.

-Thank you.

There you are, our golden couple in the head-to-head round.

You have my sincerest congratulations, well done.

-Thank you.

-Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question,

and it concerns...

Celebrity owners of racehorses. Richard.

Yeah, we're going to show you five celebrities now,

all of whom own or part-own a racehorse.

Can you name the most obscure of these five?

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our five celebrities.

Here they come. We've got...

There we are. Five celebrity racehorse owners.

Chris and Barbara, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

-A?

-I don't know A.

B is... Oh, it's Downton Abbey.

C's Simon Cowell. D's Mick Channon.

-Mm-hmm.

-E's Eddie Jordan.

Let's just go for Mick Channon.

OK, we'll go for him, then.

We'll go for D, Mick Channon, please.

Mick Channon, say Chris and Barbara, Mick Channon.

Now, Sam and Neil,

the board's yours, talk us through it.

OK, so C's the most obvious,

it's Simon Cowell.

E is Eddie Jordan.

Sam's got an inkling of A, which...

Do you think Eddie Jordan,

if they got D right do you think Eddie Jordan would stand a chance?

I think if D's right, Eddie Jordan wouldn't stand a chance

and A could possibly be Burt Bacharach, maybe.

So shall we go for A?

Yeah. We're going to go for A, Burt Bacharach.

You're saying Burt Bacharach for A.

So, Chris and Barbara have said Mick Channon for D.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mick Channon.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-Wow, 9.

9 for Mick Channon, that's a great answer.

Now, Sam and Neil, you've gone out on a bit of a limb here for A.

How certain are you?

Not very certain.

OK, so you are saying A is Burt Bacharach.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

It is Burt Bacharach. But it has to beat 9.

And it does! Look at that. 6.

Very well done indeed.

Two fantastic answers, I suspect the best answers on that board.

But, Sam and Neil, very well done. After one question you're up 1-0.

Yeah, won it by a nose there.

And they are the best two answers on the board.

Very well played, both teams.

Mick Channon, of course, a trainer and owner.

Burt Bacharach has had a number of horses. B is Xander Armstrong.

He would've scored... I'm so sorry. GIGGLING

B is Hugh Bonneville, of course,

who has a part share in a couple of racehorses,

would've scored you 25 points.

C is Simon Cowell,

we all knew, big scorer.

87.

And you were right to avoid Eddie Jordan.

Of course it's him, but he would've scored you too many points.

He would've scored you 28.

So the best two answers on the board. You can't do better than that.

Thank you very much indeed. So here comes your second question.

Chris and Barbara, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Blue Peter. Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five Blue Peter presenters now,

-but we've removed alternate letters from their name. Can you fill in the gaps?

-Thanks very much.

So let's reveal our five Blue Peter presenters, and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

Now then, Sam and Neil,

you will go first.

THEY CONFER

Helen Skelton is the new one... She's the latest one.

She did all the Olympics.

But I think Tim Vincent is probably the best answer.

OK, we know three of them. Erm...

We're going to go for the one in the middle

which, hopefully, is Tim Vincent.

Tim Vincent, say Sam and Neil.

Tim Vincent.

Chris and Barbara, do you want to talk us through

all the rest, if you can?

Right, well, Chris thinks the top one's Anita somebody,

but we can't put...

And the second one is John Noakes.

Peter Duncan, second from the bottom, and Helen Skelton.

-I think we're going to go for Peter Duncan.

-Yeah.

OK, Peter Duncan, say Chris and Barbara.

So, Tim Vincent versus Peter Duncan.

Sam and Neil said Tim Vincent.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-9.

Very well done, Sam and Neil. 9 for Tim Vincent.

Meanwhile Chris and Barbara are saying Peter Duncan,

for the one up from the bottom.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many people said Peter Duncan.

Oh.

51 for Peter Duncan.

Which means very well done indeed, Sam and Neil,

after only two questions you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

Yes, Peter Duncan's actually the biggest scorer on the board there.

If you had known the top one

we'd have got the best two answers on the board again.

If you had to make up a surname? It is Anita.

-Best.

-Oh, Anita West.

Anita West. Would've scored you two points.

John Noakes would've scored you 32.

And Helen Skelton would've scored you 17.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid the pair leaving us are Chris and Barbara.

It's been a show of ups and downs, Chris and Barbara.

A little bit touch-and-go in round one,

but then came bouncing back in round two fantastically.

But then into the head-to-head. But Sam and Neil just managed to pip...

I mean, two single scorers from them, really very hard to beat.

Which means, I'm afraid, we have to say goodbye, but it's been great having you on the show.

Thanks very much for playing. Chris and Barbara.

-APPLAUSE

-But for Sam and Neil,

it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Sam and Neil,

you've fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £1,000.

There it is.

Well, a great performance.

Consistent low scoring,

but so good, when it really mattered,

in that head-to-head round.

Well, as you know, you get to choose your category from four options,

and here are those four options.

We have Costume Dramas,

Scottish Sport, Bowie Albums,

The London Underground.

Well...

We'd be quite good at London Underground actually.

But Sam is a massive David Bowie fan.

Bowie fan. I'm a very big David Bowie fan and...

I would really like to pick that category

if Neil's happy to do that also.

We'd do all right at Scottish Sport,

but I think your knowledge of Bowie would be...

You know, silly to not go with that.

Let's pick Bowie Albums.

OK, well, we have given away -

I can't remember how many consecutive shows now -

-we've given away the jackpot.

-Three.

Three consecutive shows.

Might this be a fourth, I wonder.

Never given away the jackpot four shows in a row before.

Never been done.

So if you do know your Bowie, could be about to make Pointless history.

Very, very best of luck.

We are looking for any of the tracks on the original releases

of these David Bowie albums.

Any track on Diamond Dogs, the original release.

Any track on the original release of Scary Monsters.

Or any track on the original release of Let's Dance.

-Very, very best of luck, guys.

-Thanks very much indeed.

OK, well, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Now, remember, the answers you provide

can come from any of these three,

and how you spread them across those categories is entirely up to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, so, I'm not good with the titles.

I only know Under Pressure, Queen.

I don't think that was featured on an album,

I think that was just brought out as a kind of charity single. I think...

Those three albums aren't my strongest Bowie albums.

However, there's the title tracks -

for Diamond Dogs, obviously Diamond Dogs.

For Scary Monsters, it's Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps).

We won't accept the title tracks from the albums, guys,

cos the name's already there.

They'd score you too many anyway.

I think we should concentrate on Let's Dance,

and from that era we could say...

Modern Love.

We can say, erm...China Girl.

And then we can say...

I recognise China Girl, so, maybe...

And I think we should also say...

Ten seconds left.

We need another one.

Shall we just say Under Pressure

and see if it was featured on the album?

OK, that's your time up, I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

OK, I think we're going to go for,

from the kind of time they were around,

with Let's Dance, we're going to go for Modern Love.

-Modern Love.

-And we're going to go for China Girl.

-China Girl.

And we're also going to put in Under Pressure in there.

Under Pressure. OK. Of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think Modern Love.

OK, Modern Love we'll put last. Which of those is least likely?

I think Under Pressure, yeah.

Kind of appropriate song title then, for this round.

-Absolutely.

-OK, we'll pop that up first.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order,

and here they are.

We've got Under Pressure, China Girl, and Modern Love.

Well, best of luck.

Your first answer was Under Pressure,

you thought that was probably your least likely to be pointless.

I'm not sure you were entirely sure it was correct.

No, it probably may have just been a single.

OK, remember, only one of these answers has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot,

£1,000. What would you do with your share of that, Sam?

I would absolutely put it towards a holiday. Well-deserved holiday.

Yeah.

-Neil?

-I'm also going to put it towards a holiday.

My girlfriend's always wanted to go to New York.

I think I'd put it towards that.

OK, well, best of luck.

Your first answer, Under Pressure.

Obviously, to win that jackpot, it has to be correct,

then it has to be pointless.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many people

said Under Pressure was on Let's Dance.

Ooh, bad luck. Bad luck.

An incorrect answer, which means obviously not a pointless answer.

So only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Your second answer was China Girl.

And, again, this was an album track, you're saying, from Let's Dance.

Let's see if it's correct, let's see if it's pointless, for £1,000.

How many people said China Girl?

It's right. Well, your first answer, Under Pressure, was incorrect.

China Girl, however, very much on Let's Dance,

taking us down through the teens, into 15.

APPLAUSE

OK, 15, not a bad score, though.

Only one chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer, Modern Love.

Great track from the album Let's Dance.

Let us find out, for £1,000,

how many of our 100 people said Modern Love.

Is it pointless?

It's right.

Your first answer, Under Pressure, was an incorrect answer,

your second answer, China Girl,

took us all the way down to 15.

Modern Love passes 15 into single figures.

6. It stops.

APPLAUSE

Well, Sam and Neil, unfortunately you didn't manage

to find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000,

which rolls over onto the next show.

But it's been great having you on the show. You've played so well.

-And you do, of course, get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so very, very well done.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

That's unlucky, guys. It's tough when a category comes up you know -

that 60 seconds, it drains so quickly, it really does.

Under Pressure never on a Bowie album other than on greatest hits.

-It was on a Queen album, but not a Bowie album. Would you have had any answers for any of those?

-I'd have...

For Let's Dance I'd probably... Ricochet. Cat People.

Let's have a little look as we go along, shall we?

-OK.

-So, Diamond Dogs first.

There's only two on each of these.

Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family -

can't believe you didn't say that.

Or Rock & Roll With Me, both of those are pointless,

well done if you said either of those.

Let's take a look at Scary Monsters.

Because You're Young would've been a pointless answer, Scream Like A Baby would've been a pointless answer.

The biggest scorers there - Ashes To Ashes and Fashion.

And let's take a look at Let's Dance.

-Ricochet.

-There we go.

APPLAUSE

And Criminal World as well.

Ricochet's the first track on side two,

for those of us old enough to remember what that actually means.

Very well played.

Very well played at home if you got any of those,

-and unlucky in the studio.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Sam and Neil,

but it's been brilliant having you on the show.

Thank you both so much for playing. Sam and Neil.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, sadly, Sam and Neil didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto our next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE