Episode 33 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious answers

and find the obscure ones. Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one.

-Hi, I'm David, this is Phil.

-We're both work colleagues from Cardiff.

-Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Leanne, this is my brother Adam,

-and we're from Clacton-on-Sea in Essex.

-Couple number three.

Hello, I'm Mark, this is my girlfriend, Gemma.

-We're from Birmingham.

-And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Hilary, this is my daughter, Rachel,

and we come from Radcliffe near Manchester.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show

as it goes along. There's only one more person for me to introduce.

Too embarrassed he forgot the password to his laptop three

series ago, it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hiya. Hiya.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

We've only got one returning pair today, that's Hilary and Rachel,

and Hilary had one of those absolute classic examples of brain

freeze last time. You were on podium one,

and the question was any single from the '80s by Duran Duran, Wham,

-Human League, Pet Shop Boys, Smiths, virtually everyone, wasn't it?

-Yep.

And you could see, the second the question came up, the portcullis

went down, and 100 points came, but podium four, that's much nicer,

isn't it? You can actually relax through it this time.

Cos after the round, I know you knew absolutely hundreds, but it does

happen, doesn't it? Notice on podium one, we've got more people

-from Cardiff.

-Yeah.

-It's nice, isn't it? They're always good.

They tend to win. I don't want to put any pressure on you, David and Phil.

-What kind of a show have we got, Richard?

-I would say mediocre.

-At best.

-They're often my favourite shows. I like the mediocre ones.

It's not mediocre at all, it's going to be sensational.

You never have less than a great show

when you've got some Cardiff people on. Swansea, of course...

-Yeah. To be fair, Swansea people do very well.

-They do.

No pressure, no pressure, David and Phil,

but Swansea people, they're bright. They're bright people.

Wonder if you've got what it takes to match Swansea.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, as usual,

all our questions on Pointless have been asked to 100 people

before the show, and our contestants are on the hunt for those

all-important Pointless answer, an answer that none of our 100

people gave, and each time that happens, we will add £250

to the jackpot. Now, Sam and Neil didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off at...

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, the pair with the highest score at the end of the round will

be eliminated, and, remember, there is

to be no conferring during the round.

Our first category today is...

Musical theatre.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

First songs in musicals, Richard.

On each pass, we're going to show you the names of seven songs

from musicals, all the first songs in particular musicals.

You just need to tell us the name of the musical, please.

It's going to be 14 and seven on each pass, so 14 to have a go at at home.

Just to give you an extra clue, we're going to give you a year,

the year that each of these musicals were nominated for Tony Awards.

We're looking for the titles of the shows of which these

were the opening numbers, and here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Phil and David, you all drew lots before the show,

and today you are going to go first. So, Phil, welcome to Pointless.

-What do you do, Phil?

-Work for the local authority in Cardiff.

-Which department? Can I ask?

-Street cleansing.

-Street cleansing.

And what do you do when you're not doing that?

-I play bowls for the local bowls club.

-How are you doing?

-Fine, yeah.

-All good?

-Season's over now.

-Indeed.

-But by the time this goes out, maybe you'll be back on the bowls.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Now. What about musicals, Phil?

Not big into musicals, but there's one that stands out for me.

Circle Of Life, The Lion King.

The Lion King, says Phil, for the Circle Of Life.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Oh, it's not bad, Phil. Look at that, 53.

APPLAUSE

-53 for the Circle Of Life.

-It's a good start.

In 2013, The Lion King on Broadway became the first US musical to

-pass one billion dollars in revenue.

-Wow.

-That's a lot, isn't it?

-That is a lot.

-That's the circle of life for you.

-Right there.

-Thanks very much. Now, then, Leanne.

-Hello!

-Welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Here from Clacton-on-Sea.

What do you do, Leanne?

I work for the NHS, work for the medical records department,

making sure that if you moved GP surgeries, to make sure...

All your records move across. Good stuff. Now.

-We are looking for musicals.

-Yes.

-Specifically the musicals of which these are the opening numbers.

-OK.

I think I'm going to go for Honey, Honey and Mamma Mia.

Honey, Honey, Mamma Mia, says Leanne.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Mamma Mia.

Well, 53 is our low score at the moment. You passed that.

23.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Leanne.

Very well played, Leanne. Good answer.

It comes after the overture-prologue, it's the first song

in that musical. I haven't seen Mamma Mia. I've seen the film.

I've seen the film. Haven't seen the musical.

Mark, welcome. Welcome to the show. What do you do, Mark?

I'm a civil servant.

We've learned not to ask civil servants what they do.

-Quite often they're quite...

-Quite often they'd say, "Nope.

"I may not... I am not at liberty to answer that."

-I'm going to stick with that.

-OK, fair enough.

Mark, assuming that you have any time when you're not out...

HE IMITATES GUNSHOTS

LAUGHTER

Don't know what that is. A spy, basically.

It's not a spy so much, a lot of these people.

Some of the civil servants are spies.

Some of them are assassins, and that's a different job.

He was kind of an assassin, a multiple assassin.

I think Mark is an assassin because of his height.

-It's more silent weapons than guns, I guess.

-OK.

-He's quite live, I should think.

-Exactly.

You can see it, got a calmness which allows him

to train a sight on a target at 400m.

Watch how when he gives his answer he'll control his breathing

-on an out breath.

-Stop breathing entirely. Out breath...

And he will give his answer on an out breath,

as most of our customers... Most of our customers?!

LAUGHTER

I forgot to mention, people do pay to come on here.

Erm, yeah, as most of our contestants do.

-That would be nice if we treated them as customers.

-Wouldn't that be nice?

I'd like to think we do.

And the nice thing is, they don't have to pay.

The trouble is that if they were customers, they'd replace us

very quickly with those automated service machines, wouldn't they?

Yeah.

"Unexpected answer in the bagging area."

LAUGHTER

So, Mark, did you know either of the two answers that have been?

I knew one that's gone, yeah.

But out of what's left, I'm struggling to even

think of a musical that could fit in with one of them.

I'm just going to have a random guess at Whistle A Happy Tune

and hope that... Fiddler On The Roof? If that's even a musical.

Fiddler On The Roof, says Mark, for Whistle A Happy Tune.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck, Mark.

Not a bad guess, and it is a musical,

but it's not the one that Whistle A Happy Tune comes from.

-Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Sorry, Mark.

I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Hilary. Hilary, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-My dear, it was Round One last time.

-That was most unfortunate. Most unfortunate.

-Yeah.

-But we discovered last time that you are a theatre dresser.

-Yes, I am.

-You spend your life in the wings of theatres.

-Yes.

-With not just plays.

-What are the other things they put on there?

-We have operas...

-Yes, and...

-The ballet.

-The ballet, and pantomime, and...

-Musicals!

Yeah, there we go, musicals. You must know all of these.

Well, I know that Marilyn Monroe comes from Blood Brothers,

and Chim Chim Cher-ee is Mary Poppins.

Jet Song is West Side Story.

Ces Soirees-la, I think might be Piaf, but I'm not 100% sure

because I haven't seen that, and Whistle A Happy Tune is King And I.

So I'm between...

I'm going to go Whistle A Happy Tune and King And I.

OK, The King And I, says Hilary.

Let's see if that's right for Whistle A Happy Tune.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right. Very well done, Hilary.

Well, 23 is our low score at the moment.

Oh, look, you whizzed past that. Down to 6. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

-Six for The King And I.

-Very well played, Hilary.

You took us through the board nicely as well.

Let's see if you've selected the right one of the ones you knew.

You're right about Chim Chim Cher-ee. That is Mary Poppins.

That would've been the biggest scorer, though. Would've scored 48.

You're right about Jet Song as well. West Side Story.

Would've scored you the same, would've scored you 6 as well.

-Ces Soirees-la, it's not Piaf, it's Jersey Boys.

-Hoo, thank goodness.

Would've scored you 1.

And Marilyn Monroe, which you were right about,

it's Blood Brothers, that would've been the best answer.

Would've scored you 2 points.

But Jersey Boys is the best answer there, so well done if you said that.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

6, Hilary. Oh, that feels better, doesn't it?

-Definitely.

-Very well done.

Lovely low score there,

puts you and Rachel at prime position at this point.

Then up to 23, where we find Leanne and Adam, up to 53,

Phil and David, and then 100, Mark and Gemma.

Let's come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more opening numbers on the board,

and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Remember, we are looking for the titles of the shows

of which these are the opening numbers.

-Rachel, welcome back to the show.

-Thank you.

Remind us what you do.

I work in a theatre as a dresser.

-As a dresser. Oh, but at a rival theatre.

-Yeah, the other one.

You split away from The Lowry in Manchester,

-ran off to the Royal Exchange.

-Mm-hm.

What do you like doing when you're not doing that?

Um, I like sewing, I like knitting. I make a lot of my own clothes.

-That's what I do, most of my time.

-Excellent.

You get the first choice on this board.

What are you going to go for? How many of those do you know?

I think I know all of them, there's a couple I'm not certain of.

I'm going to go with one that I happen to have worked on,

and that's What Do You Do With A BA In English?

And that's from Avenue Q.

Avenue Q, says Rachel. Avenue Q.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said that.

There's your red line - get below that,

you're in the next round.

It's right.

Very well done indeed! You equal your mother's score.

It's a tie between the Lowry and the Royal Exchange.

I like that, it's as it should be.

Takes your total up to 12. Well done.

Well played, Rachel - great stuff on podium four.

That's after the Avenue Q theme, What Do You Do With A BA In English?

-You have a BA in English.

-I have. I've got an MA, in fact.

That's what you do with a BA in English...

BOTH: Get an MA.

Thank you very much indeed.

-Gemma.

-Hello.

-Welcome. What do you do, Gemma?

I'm a physiotherapist.

In your spare time, what do you do?

Um, I play netball and me and Mark quite like to travel.

We took six months off and went travelling.

What a brilliant thing to do. How far did you go?

Um, we got as far as South America, then we came home.

That's far enough, that's pretty good.

Anyway, listen - Musicals.

You are the high scorers, at the moment.

-What you need is a lovely low score.

-Yeah.

Um, I only know two

so I'll go for the one I think is the lowest

and hope someone else gets one wrong,

and that's All That Jazz,

and I think it's Chicago?

Chicago, says Gemma, for All That Jazz.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said it.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

It's right.

34.

Takes your total to 134.

For the moment, you're still in the game, Gemma.

Again, that's after the overture in Chicago.

Puts a little bit of pressure there on David, on the last podium.

Hm.

Now, then, Adam, what do you do?

I'm a shop assistant, I work in a DIY store.

Which aisle of the DIY store? Or do you work across the floor?

Yeah, we don't have departments, just across the store.

So you know everything. If someone stops you and goes,

"'Scuse me, 'scuse me" and they're at Hose Locks, you say,

"Ah, yes, you need this one."

Or if they stop you at Nails,

or stop you in...Tar Paper - help me, here, I'm running out -

you are an expert on any of these items.

-More...more than most, yeah.

-OK. Very good.

Anyway, Adam, there you are - you're on 23.

Even if you score 100 points, you're still in the next round,

which I think we'll all agree is a relief.

But I happen to think you might know an answer on this board.

I do, yes, and it's the only one I know.

Um, Food, Glorious Food.

I believe it's Oliver!

Oliver!, says Adam, for Food, Glorious Food.

No red line for you as you're through.

But let's see how many people said Oliver!.

It's right.

-Wow!

-71 - that's a high score.

94, your total.

Yeah - Max Bygraves bought the score of Oliver! for £350 from Lionel Bart.

That's not a bad deal, is it?

-He bought the score?

-Yeah, he did indeed, the rights.

-He bought the rights to the score?

-Yeah - not just the actual...

-I was going to say. But...wow.

-Yeah, how about that?

And there used to be a rumour that...Lionel Bart was given

a helping hand by Noel Coward to get the score going.

They always used to say that William Goldman

wrote nearly all of Good Will Hunting, in fact.

They also used to say that George Alagiah

does Fiona Bruce's voice...

..from under the table. She doesn't do anything. She goes...

RICHARD MOUTHS

I've met a couple of lovely Irishmen who work Fiona Bruce.

They are absolutely charming.

Now, then, David, listen. Right, here we go.

Welcome. We'll get the pre-amble out of the way.

-Welcome, David, from Cardiff.

-From Cardiff.

-What do you do?

-I work for Cardiff County Council.

-In the same department as Phil?

-I work in the office,

speaking to commercial business customers.

I'll tell you the job I'd like is the one with the aerosols, where you go...

ALEXANDER HISSES

And you just write things in aerosol on the pavement.

Something to aim for.

RICHARD LAUGHS

-It's a promotion I've been looking into.

-OK.

Full-year waiting list.

I'll put my name at the bottom, don't want to jump any queues.

But that's the job I'd like.

Anyway, David, there's a board behind me

with names of first songs of musicals.

You're on 53. All you have to score is 80 or less.

-That's a high score, David.

-That's a high score.

Talk us through the board.

Well...I've got to guess, so...

Belle, Beauty And The Beast.

Willkommen - will-kommen, sorry...

Cabaret? Or...yeah, I'm thinking Sound Of Music.

Or was that earlier than '84?

We Are What We Are, maybe Fame?

And Opening Night...

I've got to pick one, so...

Let's go for bust. I'll go Willkommen, Cabaret.

Willkommen, Cabaret.

Here's your red line - nice and high.

You just have to be right.

Willkommen - is it from Cabaret? If so, how many said that?

-It's right!

-Yes!

-Very well done.

And you're through to Round Two. Very well done.

Nice low score as well - 14.

67 your total.

Through you go to Round Two.

Very well played. Terrific answer there.

You were right about the top one.

Belle is from Beauty and the Beast.

That would've been a great answer, that would have scored you 19 points.

Now, We Are What We Are

is from La Cage Aux Folles.

That would've scored you 2 points.

And the best answer on the board,

Opening Night - do you know that?

-The Producers.

-It is from The Producers.

Would have scored you 1 point. Well done if you said that at home.

Thanks, Richard.

At the end of the first round,

the pair heading home, with a score of 134, are Gemma and Mark.

Oh, dear-oh-dear. Gemma and Mark, yes.

Whistle A Happy Tune, Mark - I'm sorry.

That was where we tripped up.

We'll see you again next time. We'll look forward to that.

Meantime, thanks for playing - Gemma and Mark.

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So now we're down to three pairs. At the end of this round,

we have to say goodbye to another pair.

Hilary and Rachel, very, very well done.

-And drawn, as well.

-Yes.

But then David, the next lowest score - fantastic.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category is...

It's Art. Can you decide who'll go first, who'll go second?

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could - cities with the most-attended art museums

and galleries. Richard?

We're looking for the name of any city in the world

that's home to one of the 100 most-visited art museums or galleries

in 2012, please.

Any city in the world that's home

to one of the most-visited art museums or galleries

in the world, please, in 2012.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

OK, so...Phil.

I'm going to say Moscow.

Moscow, says Phil. Moscow.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many said Moscow.

It's right.

16.

16 for Moscow.

Yes, it's got two in that list, actually,

including The Moscow Kremlin Museum.

It's all in the Art Newspaper, who published this list.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Adam.

-Hello.

-Adam.

What are you going to go for?

Not my strongest subject. Um...I'm going to go for Milan?

Milan says Adam.

Let's see if Milan's right and how many people said it - Milan.

18.

Not bad at all.

Yeah, the Palazzo Reale is at number 49.

You'd think they'd have more than one.

Just the one in Milan? That's a poor show, isn't it?

1.1 million people visited.

I think Milan could pull their socks up a bit, frankly.

Now, Rachel, any city in the world

containing one of the top 100 art museums.

Em...

I'm going to go with Barcelona.

Barcelona - sounds perfectly reasonable.

Let's see if it's right, Barcelona. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Well, 18 is our high score, 16, our low....

Wow, 15, our new low - very well done indeed, Rachel.

Yeah, they've got four museums and galleries on the list, Barcelona.

-That's more like it.

-The top one of them, the Museu Picasso.

That's the top one.

But the Miro Museum in Barcelona,

which is amazing, is not on that list.

Not on that list. Interesting. Thank you very much.

We're halfway through - let's look at those scores.

15, the best score of that pass -

very well done.

Then up to 16, where we find Phil and David.

Then up to 18, Adam and Leanne.

You are WAY out in front, there(!)

Leanne, like Milan, you need to pull up your socks.

We need a nice low score from you, is what I'm saying.

Think of a nice, obscure city somewhere

and hope that it has a well-attended art gallery or museum.

OK, we're coming back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

Hilary - there you are, our low scorers, once again,

halfway through the round.

-It feels good, doesn't it, Hilary?

-Yes.

And I have a feeling you've probably got a great answer.

Not sure it's great...uh...

But I'm going to say Madrid.

"Madrid", says Hilary.

Well, currently you're on 15.

The high scorers, Leanne, Adam, on 18.

If you wanted to avoid becoming the high scorers,

2 is what you'd want to score,

but I think that's probably unrealistic.

There's your red line. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Madrid.

Oh!

-Ooh!

-33.

-That takes your total up to 48.

-Big score, that, isn't it?

They've got three on the list, Madrid.

Um, OK, now, then, Leanne.

Probably one of my worst subjects to have.

Well, actually, Adam said that and then scored 18.

-Yeah.

-Which isn't a bad score.

It was the high score. It's no longer, obviously.

OK...Prague?

You see? That's a great answer. I mean, it might be wrong, but...

It's a great answer, I like it.

High score is 48.

You want to score 29 or less to avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Prague, says Leanne. Let's see if it's right and how many said it.

There's your red line.

Ooh!

Oh, Leanne, I'm sorry.

I'm particularly sorry that David applauded!

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

I'm evil. I'm an evil man.

That scored you 100 points. I'd have said Prague.

Before, the next thing I was about to say

is...pick a cultural city, somewhere.

You couldn't wish for a more cultural city than Prague.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 118.

I'm sorry, Gemma. Perfectly good wrong answer.

It's definitely in the top 100 stag do destinations, isn't it?

They should do a museum of stag weekends.

They must have... They've probably already got one.

David...listen, you're in the head-to-head.

Woo!

Nice, understated euphoric outburst there from David(!)

-I don't want to fist-pump the sky.

-OK, come on, David.

You're through, but let's have an answer.

Given that you are already through, there's an opportunity, here.

I bet there are some pointless answers on that board.

To think of...

I've got a couple. I don't think any will be pointless.

Surely the Smithsonian in Washington,

which is a popular one,

you see it in films.

But I'm going to go for the Uffiluzzi in Florence.

Florence. In Florence, says David.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Florence.

It's right.

16 - you equal Phil's score.

Takes you up to 32.

There's four in Florence. That's more like it.

I wasn't entirely sure of the one you said, though.

-Half Uffizi and half...

-Uffizi?

-Actually, that's the most...

It's number 21 on the list, the Uffizi Gallery.

Let's look at some of the pointless answers.

Plenty of them out there.

You could have had Brasilia, Brisbane -

home to the Queensland Art Gallery.

Canberra, which has got the National Gallery of Australia.

Gwangju, of course, which is in...

Uh, Southeast Asia.

Um...eh...um...

-I just wondered what country it was in.

-Gwangju...China?

Oh, I cannot believe...!

-I apologise to all of our South Korean viewers.

-Oh, no!

-What a snub.

-Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry. I've snubbed them before as well,

quite unwittingly.

Istanbul, the Istanbul Modern is on the list.

Philadelphia - that's the Philadelphia Museum -

Sao Paolo or Toronto, which is home to the Royal Ontario Museum.

I'll give you some of the low scorers.

Jerusalem would also have been pointless.

Trieste would have been pointless.

Dublin would have scored you 4 points, a very good answer.

Oxford would have scored you 3 points - that's a good answer.

San Francisco, 3 points as well.

Glasgow would have scored you 11.

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones most of our 100 people said.

With three entries on the list, New York.

With seven entries on the list, it is Paris -

including the number one, which is the Louvre.

9.7 million people going there.

And top of the list, London - 96.

Paris has got seven on the list, London's got eight.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-They get number one,

but we've got eight on the list.

Exactly. We've got the third, as well - the British Museum is number three on the list

and the Metropolitan Museum in New York is number two on the list.

Thank you very much. At the end of our second round,

afraid to say it's Leanne and Adam who leave,

-with a high score of 118.

-Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. You know, Prague was a perfectly good answer.

I'm amazed, frankly. Prague must have just been 101, surely.

-Yes.

-I would have thought.

-Hm.

Anyway, we'll see you again next time, we'll look forward to that.

-Meantime, thanks for playing, Leanne and Adam.

-Thank you.

For the remaining two pairs, it's time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Hilary and Rachel, David and Phil -

you're a step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

AUDIENCE OOHS

Now we have to decide who's going to play for that money.

To do that, you'll go head-to-head,

the difference being you're allowed to confer before you answer

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

You can put your heads together. This promises to be a very close third round.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. It concerns...

David, it's London Fashion Week.

-Richard?

-Uh, we're going to show you five pictures

of celebrities sitting in the front row at London Fashion Week.

Can you tell us who they are, please?

OK, let's reveal our five celebrities, and here they come.

We've got...

There we are - five celebs,

sitting in the front row of London Fashion Week.

Hilary and Rachel, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you'll go first.

THEY WHISPER

We think we're going to go for..

Well, we ARE going to go for C, Emma Thompson.

C, Emma Thompson.

C, Emma Thompson, say Hilary and Rachel.

David and Phil, do you fancy talking us through the rest of the board?

Well, I think it's A, Harry Styles. B...don't know his first name.

-It's Mr Green - is it Philip Green?

-Yeah, could be.

Emma Thompson, Kelly Osbourne,

and I don't know E.

-Go for B, go on.

-We'll take a punt at B as Philip Green.

Philip Green - B, Philip Green.

We have Emma Thompson and Philip Green.

Hilary and Rachel said C was Emma Thompson.

Let's see if that was right and how many said it.

Absolutely right, of course.

17.

17 for Emma Thompson.

Now, David and Phil, you've said "Bit of a punt - B is Philip Green."

Let's see if it's right

and if it is, let's see how far down the column it goes.

-It's right.

-Yes!

Now has to beat 17.

Come on, come on...

Yep, it's done it - there we are, 7 for Philip Green.

Very well done, David and Phil, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Very good answer, Philip Green.

He's worth £3.8 billion,

Philip Green and Lady Green.

-It's not bad, is it?

-It's not bad.

16th in the list of Britain's richest people, they are.

A, absolutely right, was Harry Styles.

He would've scored you 45 points.

He's my third-favourite member of One Direction, I would say.

First, Zayn?

Number one for me, Zayn.

-I like Liam, you know?

-I like Liam now his hair's grown back a bit.

-Yeah.

-I thought when he had it shaved off, I thought, to me...

No, no.

But Zayn, always have been, always will be.

That's the truth. Hence the tattoo. Now...

LAUGHTER

D is Kelly Osbourne. Talking of tattoos, look at that.

She would have scored you 58 points. Big score, isn't it?

That's big face recognition for Kelly Osbourne, very impressive.

And the last one is a pointless answer.

She's a sister of Cara Delevigne.

It is Poppy Delevigne.

Thank you very much. Here comes your second question - David and Phil,

you will answer this one first.

Hilary and Rachel, you have to win this to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Famous Magicians. Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five famous magicians now,

but in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and tell us who they are?

OK. Let's show our five mixed-up magicians and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, five magicians. David and Phil, you will go first.

Yeah.

Something Aspinal?

I don't know, I don't know.

-Have to go for...

-Top one.

-You reckon?

-Yeah.

Going to have to go for the top one, it's the only one we really know.

And that's David Blaine.

OK, David Blaine, for Banal Divide. David Blaine.

Now, then, Hilary and Rachel, the rest of the board is yours.

Um...Deal Us In Pal is Paul Daniels.

Born Red Wren is Derren Brown.

Um...I don't know the other two.

What do you think is going to be lowest?

Derren Brown. Oh...hmm...

Paul...it's either-or, ain't it?

-Paul Daniels, he's older.

-Go with...? Yeah.

We're going to go with Paul Daniels.

OK, you're saying Paul Daniels.

We have David Blaine and Paul Daniels.

David and Phil said David Blaine.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said it.

It's right.

32.

32 for David Blaine.

Hilary and Rachel have said Paul Daniels.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said it.

Oh! 45 for Paul Daniels.

Very well done, David and Phil. That means, after only two questions,

you're straight through to the final, 2-0.

Well played, David and Phil. Yeah, you knew two of them.

You knew Paul Daniels, that scored too many.

Let's see what Derren Brown would've scored.

Would've scored you...

-..14.

-Oh, no!

-14 points.

-Would have been a terrific answer.

-Oh!

Any luck with the bottom one?

He's a comedian and magician.

Tommy Cooper. Tommy Cooper. There he is - well done.

That would have scored you 13 points.

And the other one is an American magician,

plays in Vegas all the time, and it's Lance Burton.

If you said that, you just got yourself a pointless answer,

so very well played.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us, it's Hilary and Rachel.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Nothing wrong with your performance in this last round.

Emma Thompson, brilliant score, but Philip Green just...ach!

Might you have got Poppy Delevigne?

I knew it once you said it, but...

Yeah - that was a really tough one.

But an absolutely exemplary performance

the whole way through the show.

You just came up against David and Phil, the Pointless machine.

Yeah, there was no beating them, I'm afraid.

We have to say goodbye, and this time, it really is goodbye.

Pleasure having you on the show, thanks for playing -

Hilary and Rachel!

But for David and Phil, it's now time for out Pointless final.

Congratulations, David and Phil.

You've fought off all the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

AUDIENCE OOHS

What a performance, and here you are.

You've come storming through in a 2-0 victory in the head-to-head -

not to be sniffed at.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-Sport.

-History.

-Anything sporty, really.

-OK. We haven't had any sport.

-Nice one.

Best of luck. As always, you choose your category.

There are four options to choose from. They are...

-Yeah, it'll have to be, won't it?

-Rugby Union?

-Rugby Union.

Being Welsh, see, we'll have to go Rugby Union.

Surprise, surprise(!) Rugby Union for the Welsh boys. Richard.

Yeah, I've got the questions for all four here

and I usually hedge my bets, but this time,

I put those three away.

So all I've got in front of me is Rugby Union.

I've got a sixth sense about these things sometimes!

We're going to give you three different options now.

One of these particularly is going to suit you.

Let's take a look at them.

We're looking for anybody in the Harlequins squad

for the 2013-2014 season,

so any players in the Harlequins squad.

We're looking for anyone who played for Wales against England

in the 2013 Six Nations.

So that's anyone on the pitch or one of the subs.

Or we're looking for any Heineken Cup finalists,

all the way from 1995 through to 2013.

Great category, I hope. Good luck at home. Very good luck in the studio.

OK, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one answer to be pointless.

The answers you provide can come from any of these three categories.

How you spread them across these categories is entirely down to you.

They could all come from the middle category,

if you like, or one from each.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-What do you want to go for?

-Matthew Hibbard?

Hibbard, Matthew Hibbard.

Um...what about Heineken finalists?

Did Bretagne get there before?

-No...

-No?

Begins with B, begins with B...

-No, I can't...French ones, is it?

-French sides.

-I don't know.

-Played in Cardiff, Heineken Cup game.

-Was it?

-Brest. Oh, not Brest.

-No, not Brest.

Shall we go Hibbard?

-34 seconds.

-Yeah. Um...

Gethin Jenkins, was he injured?

He'd be too popular, Gethin Jenkins.

-George North?

-Yeah, well...

-Another popular one.

-Triptych? Justin Triptych?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, and...?

-Hibbard. Come on.

17, 17... Toby Telafau. Shall we go Faletau?

Yeah, Toby Faletau. We'll go for that.

-10 seconds left.

-Matthew Hibbard and Justin Triptych.

-Come on, then.

-OK, you've got your three.

We'll just let that clock run out, just for fun.

There we are - ah!

Now, then, what are your three answers going to be?

-We're going for all from the Six Nations Welsh players.

-OK.

-And, um...we're going to go Matthew Hibbard.

-Matthew Hibbard.

-Justin Triptych.

-Justin Triptych.

-And Toby...

-Faletau.

-Faletau.

And Toby Faletau.

-Of those three...

-Faletau, last.

..which is your best shot at a pointless?

-Shall we go Triptych, Hibbard, Faletau?

-Yeah.

-OK.

You think Faletau's your most likely to be pointless.

-We'll put that last. Least likely, Triptych?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We have got Justin Triptych, Matthew Hibbard and Toby Faletau.

Very, very best of luck. Your first answer Justin Triptych.

Justin Triptych.

Now, remember, only one of these answers has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £2,000.

What would you do with that, David?

Well, it's my partner, Greta Lewis's, birthday today.

So I figure I'd spend a bit on her,

give her a really nice birthday present.

Lovely. Phil, what about you?

I think...better seats at Moto GP at Silverstone for me, thank you.

Excellent. Best of luck. Three answers on the board.

Let's hope one of those, at least, is pointless.

So, Justin Triptych, you said, was your first answer.

Again, all of these answers are people who played for Wales

against England in the Six Nations 2013.

If it is right and it is pointless, you'll win £2,000.

Let's find out how many people said Justin Triptych.

-Oh!

-No!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

We will discover why shortly.

That means you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Your second answer is Matthew Hibbard.

Again, it has to be right and it has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £2,000.

Let's find out how many people said Matthew Hibbard. Is it pointless?

Oh!

-There's going to be a few pointless.

-OK. Two incorrect answers.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

Toby Faletau.

-How confident are you this is right?

-He definitely played.

-Did he play?

-Yeah.

-I thought the other two played!

I'm telling you, he definitely played.

I was super-confident before the start of Round Four!

Obviously, it has to be correct and it has to be pointless

for you to win the jackpot.

For £2,000, how many people said Toby Faletau?

Is it pointless?

-It's right.

-Come on, Phil.

OK, your first answer was Justin Triptych,

which was an incorrect answer.

Your second answer was Matthew Hibbard.

Toby Faletau, now, taking us down...

Yes, you've done it! There we are! Well done!

LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes! All right!

Ah, congratulations!

It took a while to get through but we finally got a correct answer

and it was pointless. Very well done.

Toby Faletau, a pointless answer. Brilliant.

You win our jackpot of £2,000. Very well done.

David and Phil!

APPLAUSE

See? I told you - people from Cardiff do well.

Very impressive. Nicely done, as well -

I think David did a lot of the work in the head-to-head there,

then Phil stepped in in the final, got you that pointless answer.

I think you know, with Triptych, it's Justin Tipuric.

-Can't take that, I'm afraid.

-Was that a pointless answer?

It would have been a pointless answer, yeah, Justin Tipuric.

And it's not Matthew Hibbard, it's Richard Hibbard.

And, uh...he would have scored you 1 point.

-So...

-Well done, Toby!

Yeah, well done, Toby, absolutely right.

Also well done for putting in the right order and making it more exciting.

That's the way to do it!

Let's look at the pointless answers on the different categories -

for Harlequins, almost everyone on the squad was pointless,

actually, other than...

Nick Evans would have scored points, Sam Smith, Chris Robshaw, Danny Kerr,

Nick Easter, Ugo Monye, Mike Brown and Ben Botica -

all of those scored points.

Everybody else was pointless.

Ross Chisholm, there, was the son of my old deputy head at school.

His brother, James Chisholm, also plays there, a pointless answer.

Let's take a look at the Welsh ones.

-Now, Gethin Jenkins...

-He said it!

-Absolutely right.

He would have been a pointless answer.

Those other three were subs.

Andrew Coombs, Lloyd Williams and Scott Andrews.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Let's look at Heineken Cup finalists, see if you were looking for these.

-That's the one - Brive.

-Yeah. Biarritz, also.

Colomiers, Stade Francais, as well.

Also could have had Clermont-Auvergne as well,

would have been a pointless answer.

Very, very well played in the studios, guys.

Terrific performance all the way through.

Well done if you got any of those at home as well.

Thanks, Richard. Thanks once again to our winning players, David and Phil,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000. Very well done.

Join us next time, when we put more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.