Episode 42 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can.

You do that by coming up with the answers that no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Sophia, this is my boyfriend, James,

-and we're here from Surbiton.

-Couple number two.

Hello, I'm Brian and this is Gemma.

We're father and daughter from Crowthorne in Berkshire.

Couple number three.

I'm Myra, this is my friend Lorraine,

and we're from Kingston upon Hull.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Aaron, this is my best friend Rich, and we're from Cardiff.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll get to know more about you throughout the show.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He was nearly unveiled as the 13th Doctor Who

until a very strongly worded e-mail

about the logical fallacy of the TARDIS threw him out of contention.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

-Afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

-I've got a slightly new desk.

-I spotted that.

-Have you seen?

-It's just slightly different.

-It's narrower.

It's slightly narrower but also slightly deeper, if that makes sense.

-Yes.

-And it's got a slightly less-glossy finish.

-It does.

I'm very pleased. It cost £14 million. LAUGHTER

-So cheaper than the last one?

-Cheaper than the last one, exactly.

It's solid, um...plutonium.

-Yes.

-Except for this bit.

You won't be able to see it on camera but it's all diamond, inlaid diamond.

-Doesn't show on camera at all.

-I can see it.

It's just nice to have that attention to detail.

Now, we've got one returning pair on today's show

and there's a tale attached to them.

Brian, on the last show, let Gemma down very badly.

Gave the name of a country that doesn't exist.

And according to Brian, he has had a terrible time since then.

A terrible time with Gemma, with his wife...

But now he's back and, er...

I suggest, if you get 100 points today,

Brian, your life will not be worth living, am I right?

Yes, I could be hitchhiking home.

-What kind of a show have we got lined up today, Richard?

-Terrific.

-Have we? Oh, good.

-I mean, terrific.

Especially if you like hidden diamonds.

If you like diamonds you can't see, today's show is an absolute bobby-dazzler.

Fabulous. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscurer answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Basil and Giles won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at...

There it is. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, all you have to remember

is that the pair with the highest score at the end of this round will be eliminated.

OK, our first category is...

Television. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Television shopkeepers. Richard.

Yes, on each pass, we're going to give you the names

of seven television shopkeepers or shopkeeping duos.

You just need to tell us

the name of the TV series in which they first appeared, please.

There's going to be seven on each board,

14 in all to have a go at at home, so very, very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much indeed.

So we are looking for the show in which each of these shopkeepers

first appeared, and here's our first board of seven.

We have...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are.

-Welcome to the show, Sophia. Good to have you here.

-Thank you.

What do you do?

I work for my local council and I'm a senior business analyst.

Now, you and James hold, or rather held, a World Record.

-Yes...

-A genuine Guinness World Record.

-Yes.

-What was it for?

The longest kiss.

-Wow. We went for that one, didn't we?

-Yeah, we did, yeah. LAUGHTER

-Nearly got it...

-Nearly did. How long was yours?

31 hours, 30 minutes and 30 seconds.

Yeah, that's about 31 hours, 30 minutes longer than ours, wasn't it?

-Yeah. Still...

-No less enjoyable.

-Certainly. Well... It's the quality, isn't it, Sophia?

-It is, yeah.

OK, now then, what are you going to go for on this board?

How do you find our shopkeepers?

Erm... I'm a bit worried because about five or six of them

are before I even was born but just to get something on the board,

I think I'm just going to go for one I know.

Alf Stewart...

And it's Home And Away, I believe.

Alf Stewart, Home And Away, says Sophia.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Home And Away.

It's right.

-Very well done indeed.

-APPLAUSE

29 for Home And Away.

Well played, Sophia. A relief to get that first answer on the board.

I have to say, if six of them were before you were born,

then you were born in the year 2000, so you're looking, er....

LAUGHTER

-..I have to say, slightly older than your years.

-Pretty good, yeah.

Thanks very much indeed. Gemma.

-Welcome back.

-Yeah, thanks.

-So, yes, Western Samoa.

-We'll put all talk of that behind us.

-It's fine.

-It's one of those things.

-Yes. Gemma, remind us what you do.

I'm a designer by trade, technically, yeah.

Which is pretty cool.

But I specialise in textile design

so, all the fabric for fashion and mainly interiors.

Good stuff. Now, shopkeepers. Shopkeepers on TV, Gemma.

-Yeah.

-How do we feel about that?

-Not feeling peachy about it. Erm...

I was born in 1989 and I don't know who any of those people are.

But it was always my turn to get 100 points, wasn't it?

Because Dad took the bullet last time

so I think I'm just going to go for the bottom one.

EastEnders?

-I'm sorry, Dad.

-For the bottom one, Navid Harrid?

-Yeah.

OK, EastEnders, says Gemma.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said EastEnders.

Oh, bad luck, Gemma.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you

-the maximum of 100 points.

-Sorry, Gemma.

Looking at Brian, I've never seen anyone look gutted

and delighted at the same time. LAUGHTER

I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Now then, Lorraine.

-Welcome.

-Thank you.

-Welcome, and where are you from?

-Hull.

-From Hull.

And what do you get up to in Hull?

Well, I'm retired.

I like to walk and I like to use my bus pass, so I combine the two

and get on the bus and go someplace and walk.

You can always walk on the bus.

-Get on the bus and walk up and down the bus.

-Anything.

-Um...

-Where are you from originally, Lorraine?

-California.

-I was going to say, that doesn't sound like a Hull accent.

-No.

-When did you come here from California?

-30 years ago.

30 years ago. So some of these TV shopkeepers, you will recognise.

I know two for sure and I'm going to take a bit of a chance on one.

I think Ron Dixon...

Brookside.

Brookside, says Lorraine.

Let's see if that's right for Ron Dixon, let's see how many people said Brookside.

-It's right.

-Thank goodness for that.

Well, 29, our low score at this point.

You've passed that. Look at that, down it goes.

-Very well done indeed, Lorraine.

-APPLAUSE

Very well played, Lorraine. Played by Vince Earl for 13 years.

Ran the Trading Post.

-Once shot his daughter's boyfriend's brother.

-Yes.

-Only because he was burgling him, not because of...

-Yeah.

-Not for fun.

-Not for sport.

-No, no, no.

Now then, Aaron. Welcome to the show, good to have you here.

-What do you do, Aaron?

-I'm a control centre operator.

Based with Cardiff Council.

Right you are. What sort of things do you operate and control?

Well, we sit in a control centre...

I'd be disappointed if you didn't, I'll be honest.

In a control centre, screens?

No, a couple of computers.

-Quite small, it's not like a police centre.

-No camera, no CCTV?

-No.

-That could be coming in soon.

-I hope it is.

What are your hobbies, Aaron?

Playing football, watching football and just doing bits and bobs

with the family and my long-term girlfriend as well.

Good stuff. How are you feeling about this television round?

To be honest, my mum grew up watching...

Sorry, I grew up watching Brookside and Home And Away

because my mum would force me to.

So they were the two I was going to say.

The only other one I've got a slight inkling about is Arkwright.

-And I think it's Open All Hours.

-You're going to go for...

-But I'm not 100% on it.

-That is the one you're going to go for.

Open All Hours, says Aaron. Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-Better than 100.

-Quite high, but better than 100, as you say.

-APPLAUSE

51 for Arkwright.

Yep, absolutely. Played by Ronnie Barker, of course, Albert Arkwright.

And they brought it back, the BBC, as Still Open All Hours with David Jason, of course.

Er, now... Let's go through the rest of these.

Now, Navid Harrid is not EastEnders.

Our Scottish viewers would have got this.

Played by Sanjeev Kohli in Still Game.

4 points, very well done if you said that.

Um... Right at the top there,

Alf Roberts, I know an awful lot of people would have got.

He is from Coronation Street.

Would have scored you 65, so the biggest scorer up there.

Bilbo Bagshot...is played by Bill Bailey

in Spaced.

And would have scored you 2, and Mr Hooper...is from Sesame Street.

And he would have scored you 3 points. So the best answer up there is Bilbo Bagshot.

-Well done if you said that.

-OK, thanks very much.

Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

15, the best score of that pass. Lorraine, very well done indeed.

That sets you up pretty well.

Then we come up to 29, where we find Sophia and James,

then up to 51, Aaron and Rich, then Gemma and Brian.

Now, who knows what the next board's going to be like?

Brian, you might know all of them.

But we'll need a lovely low score from you and maybe,

maybe you can redeem yourself.

-Unlikely.

-Well, who knows? Very, very best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more shopkeepers up on the board, and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Now remember, we are looking for the show

in which each of these shopkeepers first appeared on television

and, Rich, you're going to find the one you think fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Welcome to the show, Rich.

-Thank you.

-What do you do?

-I'm a microgeneration consultant.

It's a glorified administrator, really.

-Microgenerator?

-Yeah, we deal with renewable energy.

We pay customers on a feeding tariff for being sustainable.

Very good, so this is solar panels, things like that?

-Solar panels, wind farms...

-Wood chip burners.

-That type of thing.

OK, now, there you are. You're on 51, Rich.

-If you can score 48 or less, you are definitely in the next round.

-Erm...

-Is it a good board?

-Yeah, it's quite a good board. It's a decent board.

One of my favourite shows has actually come up

from when I was younger.

So my answer is going to be Tubbs and Edward...

-For The League Of Gentlemen.

-The League Of Gentlemen, says Rich.

OK, here comes your red line.

Get below that, you're definitely in Round Two.

Let's see if The League Of Gentlemen is right for Tubbs and Edward.

It is right.

Well done, you're through.

-Best score so far, actually, Rich.

-APPLAUSE

That takes your total up to 65.

Well played, Rich. Played by Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton,

who have gone on to do many brilliant things.

-There we are. Now, Myra. Welcome to the show.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here. What do you do, Myra?

-I'm retired.

What do you get up to? What do you do with your time?

I go walking with Lorraine, use my bus pass and I read crosswords

and I love a game of bingo.

See, that's a Hull accent.

-No.

-No, it's not, apparently.

-That was a little joke.

-Oh, I see.

-That went over my head.

-Yeah.

-What is your accent, Myra?

-Scottish.

-Yes.

-LAUGHTER

-How did you and Lorraine meet?

-On the bus. At the bus stop.

-Brilliant.

-Brilliant. Now, Myra. Shopkeepers.

-Yes.

-Incidentally, you're on 15.

84 or less sees you comfortably through.

I think I know two, and I don't know which one to go for.

So do I take a guess or do I...

I think I'll go for the bottom one, and I think it's The Simpsons.

You're going to say Apu Nahasapeemapetilon...

-I think, yeah...

-The Simpsons. OK. There's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the next round.

Let's see if The Simpsons is right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right!

And you're through, very well done.

APPLAUSE

51 is your total.

Very well played, Myra. He runs the Kwik-E-Mart, voiced by Hank Azaria.

There we are. Now, Brian. Now, listen. All is not lost.

Here's the scenario in which you get carried out of here, shoulder-high,

at the end of the game, not now.

It's this. You score 28. Or less. And James scores 100.

That's the only way it can happen.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon scored 36,

just to give you, like, an archaeologist's hammer.

-That's very kind.

-To give you some idea of the scale we're talking of.

Well, rather than get another 100,

I'm not going to be carried out shoulder-high at the end of this game,

but I'll crawl out after I say...

-Harold Bishop, Neighbours.

-Yeah.

OK, Harold Bishop, Neighbours. Gemma has said yes to that.

-Yes, Dad.

-There's no red line for you,

obviously, as you're the high-scorers. But let's see.

Neighbours, is that right and, if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

APPLAUSE

That takes your total up to 165, Brian.

That's awkward, isn't it?

He ran many shops in Neighbours, actually, Harold Bishop.

Health food store, the coffee shop, most famously.

He was swept out to sea and presumed dead for many years but, er...

He wasn't.

-Nope.

-Came back suffering from amnesia.

-Yeah.

That must have been a very heavy script he paddled his way back with.

Yes, I think it was.

I think it was a very, very large cheque from the Neighbours people

that he managed to paddle himself back to shore with.

-Now then, James.

-Hello.

-James. Welcome. Welcome to the show.

What do you do, James?

I'm a chauffeur for the largest chauffeur company in the UK.

We chauffeur corporate clients and all sorts of people.

-Is that London-based...?

-It is, but I'll go anywhere.

I've been to Middlesbrough, Bridlington, all exotic locations.

Wow, all of them. Yes, Middlesbrough, Bridlington.

Now, James, you're through, which is great news.

-Yeah, the pressure's off.

-The pressure's off.

With that pressure off, you want to fill in the blanks for us?

I do. Well, I don't know Suzie Sweet and Penny Pocket, no idea.

I would have gone Gary Sparrow, which I'm going to anyway,

because I've got no idea who Moon and Noir are, or Giles is...

And Gary Sparrow's definitely from...

one of the best time-travelling sitcoms ever, Goodnight Sweetheart.

OK, Gary Sparrow, Goodnight Sweetheart.

Let's see. No red line for you as you're already through.

But let's see how many people said Goodnight Sweetheart.

It's right.

INAUDIBLE

APPLAUSE

50 is your total.

The lowest total, I might add, of the whole round, so very, very well done indeed.

Yeah, well played, James.

There were some proper sighs of, "Of course,"

from some of the other podiums there as well.

Played by Nicholas Lyndhurst.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

Do you know Suzie Sweet and Penny Pocket?

-It's got to be a children's show. I'm guessing.

-Yep.

Either you're very young or you had very young kids at the time.

It's Balamory.

Would have scored you 7 points.

-Howard Moon and Vince Noir, you'll know.

-The Mighty Boosh.

That is The Mighty Boosh.

Would have scored you 8. And Rupert Giles?

It's Buffy The Vampire Slayer, played by Anthony Head, Rupert Giles.

Would have scored you 3 points,

so the best answer up there. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of our first round,

I'm afraid the pair heading home is Brian and Gemma.

Round One last time, Round One this time. I'm so sorry.

We just haven't dished up the best Pointless round for you,

I'm afraid, in two shows.

I'm so sorry you have to leave so soon.

But it's been great having you, Brian and Gemma.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll be saying goodbye

to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

You've all got something to recommend you.

Rich, the lowest individual score of that round

for The League Of Gentlemen, so very well done.

And the other two pairs, just one point between you, 50 and 51.

Very, very close indeed. This could go any way.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

Golf. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. UK Ryder Cup golfers. Richard.

We are looking for the name of any golfer

representing England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland

who has represented Europe in the Ryder Cup

from 1979 all the way through to 2012, please.

So any UK golfer who's played in the Ryder Cup from '79 to 2012.

Lots of pointless answers.

I know, for some people, this will be damage limitation

but some people at home are going to do very well on this round. Best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now then, James.

-Yeah.

-Golf?

-Uh... I'm just going to play it safe and say...

-..Sandy Lyle.

-Sandy Lyle, says James.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Sandy Lyle.

It's right.

-Very well done, James.

-APPLAUSE

Good start to the round, 11 for Sandy Lyle.

Well played, James. Scottish two-time Major winner.

First Briton to win the Masters as well, Sandy Lyle.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Lorraine.

Lorraine, are you comfortable with this as a round?

I know a lot of popular ones.

It's just trying to decide which one is least well-known

or least well-remembered.

-I think I'll go with Justin Rose.

-Justin Rose, says Lorraine.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Justin Rose.

It's right.

Well, Sandy Lyle scored 11. Justin Rose still going down.

Look at that, not bad at all.

-Very well done indeed, Lorraine.

-APPLAUSE

Our new low score.

Well played, Lorraine. An Englishman,

had a famously terrific performance in the 2012 Ryder Cup, Justin Rose.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Aaron.

-Hmm.

-Aaron.

You struggling or are you just thinking

of which is going to be the best of your excellent answers?

I've got a few lined up. The main ones, really.

It's probably the only golf I do watch on telly

is the Ryder Cup. So that stands me in good stead, I would say.

But I'm going to play it relatively safe

and go with a fellow Welshman and say Ian Woosnam.

Ian Woosnam, says Aaron. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ian Woosnam.

It's right.

So 11 and 9, our only two scores so far.

Where's Woosnam going to end up?

-Below all of them, look at that!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Aaron.

Good answer.

Yeah, a good answer, good Welsh answer as well.

Also captained the Ryder Cup team in 2006.

Became the first player ever to win £1 million in a year,

first ever golfer to win £1 million.

-Thank you very much.

-Pleasure. That's impressive, isn't it, for Woosy?

Now then, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

8, the best score of that pass, Aaron, very well done.

Then up to 9, where we find Lorraine and Myra,

then up to 11, James and Sophia. Well, very, very close indeed.

Sophia, you find yourselves slightly ahead there.

Have you got some good golf stuff here?

No...

-SHE LAUGHS

-I've got one name, and I don't even know if he's English.

Hold on to it, hold on to it with both hands.

I look forward to hearing what name that is.

We're going to come back down the line. Second players, step up to the podium.

Remember, we're looking for the name of any UK golfer

who's played for Europe in the Ryder Cup.

Now then, Rich. You're on 8.

The high-scorers on 11 are Sophia and James, which means

if you could score 2 or less, you'll avoid becoming the high-scorers.

-Is golf a big thing for you?

-Golf is terrible.

-I was hoping for a sport question, just not golf.

-Right.

I'm going to take a risk.

And I'm going to for a golfer that's in my head.

-I'm going to go for Ian Poulter.

-Ian Poulter.

Well, your red line's going to be low but don't be put off by that

because all the scores are very close and low. But Ian Poulter.

Let's see if it's right and let's see how many people said it.

Well done, it's right.

8 is our low score so far...

-11 is what you get for Ian Poulter.

-APPLAUSE

19 is your total there, Rich.

Yeah, no risk there.

Ian Poulter, famously a brilliant player in the Ryder Cup.

He posted a video in 2010, when we won the Ryder Cup,

of him and his children eating cereal out of the Ryder Cup.

Didn't go down brilliantly with everyone.

-But, erm...

-I'm sure he washed it afterwards.

-No, he didn't.

It's not dishwasher-proof and he could be bothered.

Weetabix will stick... It will stick.

Weetabix, there's Coco Pops, there's everything in there.

He mixes his cereal.

Thanks very much. Now then, Myra. We have a new high score, which is 19.

You're on 9, so if you can score 9 or less,

you are definitely in the head-to-head.

How are we feeling about this?

The only name I can think of, I think

it is how his name is... Sam Torrance.

Sam Torrance. OK, let's see if that's right.

Sam Torrance, says Myra. Lorraine, how do you feel about that?

-I'm hopeful.

-You're hopeful.

-There is your red line, if you get below that...

-Oh, yeah(!)

..you're in the head-to-head. Let's see if Sam Torrance is right.

It is right, well done, Myra.

Now then, will it get you below the red line?

Yes, it will!

-APPLAUSE

-Not only right, it's our best score of the round so far, Myra.

-Very well done. 16 is your score.

-That's a great answer.

A terrific player, also captain as well, Sam Torrance.

He holds the record for taking the longest time to answer a question on A Question Of Sport.

-Took over nine minutes to answer one question.

-Thinking or just chatting?

A little bit of both, I suspect.

He got it right, though.

OK. Now then, Sophia. Sophia, 19 the high score.

You have to score 7 or less.

It's just one sport that I just cannot...

bear. And I like watching my sports but golf...

No idea.

Come on then, Sophia. What's it going to be?

-Nick Faldo?

-Nick Faldo, says Sophia. OK.

Your red line is going to be a low one.

Let's see if Nick Faldo gets you down below that red line.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It is right.

APPLAUSE

-24. But a correct answer!

-Yeah.

Takes your total up to 35. No bad score, that.

It's not too high at all, but it just happens to be the high score.

-But 35, not bad.

-Sorry, Sophia.

He's appeared in more Ryder Cups than any other player, Nick Faldo.

11 Ryder Cups he's had.

I said people at home might have done very well.

There's quite a few pointless answers.

I'll take you though the low-scorers before we do them.

3 points for Bernard Gallacher and Mark James, 2 for Peter Oosterhuis

and 1 for Graeme McDowell, Brian Barnes and Peter Baker.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Andrew Coltart, the Scot, was a pointless answer, Barry Lane.

David Feherty, he's American now, just taken American citizenship.

He was a pointless answer.

David Gilford, played in two Ryder Cups.

Michael King, played in the '70s. Paul Broadhurst.

Also pointless answers for...

Paul Casey, one of the more recent ones there.

Ronan Rafferty, the Northern Irishman.

Another very recent player here, Ross Fisher.

You also would have got pointless answers for

Brian Waites, David Howell,

Gordon Brand Jnr, Gordon J Brand - they're not related -

Howard Clark, Oliver Wilson, Paul Way,

Phillip Price and Steven Richardson.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home

with their high score of 35, I'm afraid, Sophia and James, it is you.

Well, it could have all been very different there, James.

Could have been. We won the first round.

We've won a quarter of Pointless, we've just got to come back

and try and win the other three-quarters next time.

Your maths is brilliant.

I've never even thought of it like that,

but that's exactly what you have to do.

We look forward to seeing you next time.

Thanks so much, Sophia and James.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Myra and Lorraine, Aaron and Rich,

you're one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at...

There it is.

So, we have now to decide who gets to play for that,

and to do that, you are going to go head-to-head.

This time you are allowed to confer before you give your answer

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

You've both played incredibly well.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Italian cities. Richard.

We're about to show you five images now of Italian cities.

You just have to identify the most obscure. Very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five Italian cities,

and here they come. We have got...

There you go. Five Italian cities.

Now, Myra and Lorraine, you played best throughout the show so far

so you will go first.

-(We get to talk about it.

-We do.

(I think D is Florence.

(Well, I don't know. I know C, but I don't know D.

(Yeah. You say it.)

We're taking a chance. We think D is Florence.

D, Florence, say Myra and Lorraine.

D, Florence. So, Aaron and Rich...

We think C's Venice. Um...

We think B is Milan.

I've been to Milan, and that looks like the cathedral

on the right-hand side, but then, I didn't see that monument or that...

-Oh, that's new. That's new.

-New, is it? Oh, that's why.

We think A could possibly be Sardinia.

We're trying to think of Italian cities on the coast.

-What do you think?

-Take a gamble, go for A.

You want to take a gamble.

It's on your head, then. We'll go A, Sardinia.

A, Sardinia, say Aaron and Rich. A, Sardinia.

So Myra and Lorraine have said that Florence is D.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-Very well done indeed. 12 for Florence.

-APPLAUSE

Good answer.

Now then, Aaron and Rich have said that A is Sardinia. A, Sardinia.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

Bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Which means, Myra and Lorraine, after one question you are up 1-0.

Very well played. Guys, that went badly for a number of reasons.

Firstly, not only is that not Sardinia, Sardinia is not a city.

Ah, there we go, then.

It's an island and not only that, but B is Milan,

and not only that, would have scored you 10 points.

ALL: Ooh!

-Gutted.

-Unlucky. A, well, that's Mount Vesuvius in the background.

And that's the bay of Naples.

So A is Naples.

Would have scored you too many points, would have scored you 26.

10 points, as we said, for Milan.

Would have won you the point.

C is Venice, as I think everyone knew, but a very big scorer, that.

Would have scored you 89.

Best answer on the board, very much the best answer,

in fact a pointless answer is E.

It used to be the capital of the Western Roman Empire

and it is Ravenna.

Very well done if you said that.

That's the Basilica of San Vitale, there.

Congratulations if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed. So, here comes your second question.

Aaron and Rich, you get to answer it first

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Here it comes. It concerns...

Film titles with 12-letter words. Richard.

We're going to show you five films now,

all of which have one 12-letter word in their title.

We've missed out that 12-letter word from each. Can you fill in the gaps?

Good luck.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five film titles.

And here they are, we have...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Aaron and Rich, you'll go first.

-Yeah, we know them all, actually.

-We think we know them all.

But we're debating which one to go for.

Right, we're going to say the one above bottom. Kindergarten Cop.

OK, one up from the bottom. Kindergarten Cop.

OK. Now then, Myra and Lorraine.

Do you want to talk us through the board and fill in all our blanks?

We think the first one's LA Confidential.

The second one, I can't pronounce. Lorraine knows that one.

Bride Of Frankenstein and Miss Congeniality, the bottom one.

-We're going for the second one.

-I think it's An Inconvenient Truth.

An Inconvenient Truth.

So we have Kindergarten Cop and An Inconvenient Truth.

Let's see. Kindergarten Cop, how many people said that? Is it right?

It is right.

APPLAUSE

20 for Kindergarten Cop.

Myra and Lorraine have gone for An Inconvenient Truth,

let's see how many people said it.

If this wins it for you, you will go straight through to the final.

It's right, An Inconvenient Truth.

Has to beat 20, though.

-And it does! Very well done indeed. 13.

-APPLAUSE

Which means, Myra and Lorraine, after only two questions,

-you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

-Very well done.

Well played, Myra and Lorraine.

Yes, Al Gore's documentary about climate change.

Won the Oscar for best documentary in 2007. Unlucky there, guys.

I suspect you knew all of them as well. Let's fill in the board.

We've already heard the correct answers, but let's look at the scores.

LA Confidential, quite a big scorer, actually.

Would have scored you...

43 points.

Bride Of Frankenstein, an even bigger scorer.

That would have scored you the most on the board, 62.

And Miss Congeniality.

Would have scored you 48.

So An Inconvenient Truth was the best answer on the board. Couldn't have been beaten.

Thanks very much indeed. So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Aaron and Rich. You played so well up to this point.

And you had a nightmare on Milan.

-I didn't recognise the statue, and...

-You were at the cathedral, though,

you might have been standing on the other side of the statue...

I even remember the name of the cathedral, unfortunately...

-Or, maybe you were just drunk.

-Yeah.

-Anyway, listen.

We look forward to seeing you again. If you can play as well as you've done today next time,

then I'm sure you will go one notch better.

Thanks very much, Aaron and Rich. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

-Sorry.

-That's all right!

But for Myra and Lorraine, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Myra and Lorraine,

you've fought off all the competition and you have won

our coveted Pointless trophy, so many congratulations.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

There it is. Well done.

-So, you now have something else to talk about on the bus journey.

-Yes.

-You're going to have to take the trophy out onto the bus and show everyone.

-Good idea.

You've done so well.

2-0 in the head-to-head, but also the round before,

in our second round, that golf round.

You blew everyone else out of the water.

That was incredibly impressive.

Anything you'd particularly like to see come up in this last round?

-Films?

-Yeah, '50s and '60s show musicals. Musical movies.

-'60s music.

-So...

-OK.

Well, as always, you get to choose your category.

You have four to choose from, and those choices are...

-Go on.

-Yeah, we've had a discussion

and we're going to go for Post-war Literature Prizes.

Post-war Literature Prizes. OK. Richard.

Good luck, Myra and Lorraine. Here are your three options.

We are looking for the name of anyone who has won

the Queen's Gold Medal for Poetry

from when it became the Queen's Gold Medal in 1952, all the way through to 2013.

We're looking for anyone who has won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

All the way through from 1946 to 2013,

or we're looking for any writer or composer who has won

the Pulitzer Prize for Drama for any play or musical written by an American,

and that's from 1946, again, all the way through to 2013.

So the Queen's Gold Medal for poetry,

Nobel Prize for Literature, Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Very, best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

As always, you've got a minute to come up with three answers.

To win that jackpot,

all you have to do is find one pointless answer among those three.

Remember the answers you provide can come from any of these categories

and how you spread them across the categories is entirely down to you.

Are you ready?

-Yes.

-As we'll ever be.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right, which one are you going for? Because I don't know any of them so it's all on to you.

-The Queen's Gold Medal for Poetry, we could guess Philip Larkin.

-Yes.

But we could... I know...

for sure, Nobel Prize for Literature, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

-We'll go for that.

-Um...

I should be able to come up with one of those.

-Pulitzer Prize for Drama.

-He said something about American.

Yeah, that's because it's an American prize.

Um...

-Right, so...

-Gosh, gosh...

-Post-war...

-Get back in there!

-What was the year? For all of them?

-What was the year?

-'46. Post-war.

-Sorry. '46.

OK. Um...

-'40s, '50s? I can't think of any.

-There might be somebody.

-Ten seconds left.

-So what are we doing?

-I don't know if it's '46.

-Let's go with James Michener.

-Right.

Um... No...

Let's not.

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three...

I need your three answers now. What are you going to give me?

And will you say which category they're in.

-Nobel Prize for Literature, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

-OK.

-I think we're going to have a guess at the Queen's Gold Medal and go with Philip Larkin.

-Philip Larkin.

And...

Another Nobel Prize for Literature,

I think we're going to go with James Michener.

Of those three,

which do you think is your best bet at a pointless answer?

I guess we'll put Solzhenitsyn last.

Solzhenitsyn we'll put last. OK.

And Philip Larkin's a guess, so we'll go first with him.

Philip Larkin first so Michener in the middle.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We have got Philip Larkin, James Michener

and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Well, very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Philip Larkin.

This was the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless.

If it is pointless and you win that jackpot of £1,000,

what would you do with your share of that, Myra?

I would give something to my family

and have a few more really good games of bingo.

Excellent. Lorraine?

Well, I said I would take a close group of friends on a bus trip.

-I'd like to take them all to the Beamish...

-Steam Museum!

-Beamish Museum, yes, near Newcastle.

-Lovely.

County Durham, yes, fantastic.

So, we were looking for, in this instance,

we were looking for winners of the Queen's Gold Medal for Poetry,

and you said Philip Larkin.

Let's find out if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Philip Larkin.

It's a good guess.

Philip Larkin, off to a great start there.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Down it goes, into single figures, still going...

-Down to 2, look at that.

-APPLAUSE

Not bad for a guess!

Not bad for a guess. 2, it scored you, 2 for Philip Larkin.

-Not pointless, though, so only two more chances.

-Big name in Hull.

-He's in Hull parking station.

-Of course.

Well, two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was James Michener.

Now, in this case, you submitted him as a winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature.

If this is correct and it goes all the way down to zero,

you leave here with £1,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said James Michener.

Oh, bad luck!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

so everything is now riding on your third and final answer, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Now, you thought this was probably your best shot at a pointless answer.

-I think you're pretty sure it's correct.

-I think so.

It just has to go down to zero, and if it does that,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Let's find out if Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn is a pointless answer

for a winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature.

It's right.

Your first answer, Philip Larkin, took us all the way down to 2.

Your second answer, James Michener, was an incorrect answer,

but this, your final answer, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn,

-down to 1! Oh, bad luck!

-APPLAUSE

Out of your three answers, two of them were absolutely fantastic.

And so close!

Two brilliant answers there.

I'm so sorry, though,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But you have been fabulous the whole way, throughout the show,

and you do get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so very well done for that.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-That's unlucky, isn't it?

-Yeah.

There's going to be names on all of these lists

you know as well. It's so tough in that 60 seconds.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

Lots of poets on the list. James Fenton, you could have had.

You could have had Robert Graves.

Siegfried Sassoon. You could have had Stephen Spender,

you could have had DJ Enright, Derek Walcott,

you could have had Fleur Adcock, Jo Shapcott, all sorts of names.

In fact, anyone apart from Betjeman, Larkin, who scored 2,

Ted Hughes scored 2 and Stevie Smith scored 1.

Anyone else who won that medal, if you said them, you would have just won the money.

Let's take a look at the next category. Nobel Prize for Literature.

Some big names here.

-Oh!

-Bertrand Russell, you could have had.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez. You could have had Harold Pinter.

You could have had John Steinbeck, also could have had Albert Camus.

You could have had Dario Fo, you could have had Derek Walcott

again, he's been a pointless answer in both of those categories.

Gunter Grass, Hermann Hesse, JM Coetzee, Jean-Paul Sartre was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said any of those.

And finally, the Pulitzer Prize for Drama.

David Mamet, who won for Glengarry Glen Ross.

You could have had Edward Albee, who's won it three times.

You could have had Eugene O'Neill

and you could have had Marvin Hamlisch, who won it for A Chorus Line.

So very well done if you got some of those at home.

Terrific play, though, in those three answers

and very, very unlucky, I think, not to get a pointless answer there.

Unfortunately, goodbye to you, Myra and Lorraine,

It's been fabulous having you, and you have been brilliant contestants.

Thank you both so much for playing. Myra and Lorraine.

-Thank you! We've had a lovely day.

-APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Myra and Lorraine didn't win our jackpot today

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.