Episode 7 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show that makes big winners out of the lowest scorers.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

Hi, I'm Dan, this is my father, Keith,

and we're from Shenstone near Lichfield in Staffordshire.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Jim.

This is my friend Mark and we're both students at the University of Warwick.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Hayley. This is my good friend, Loz.

I'm from Manchester and Loz is from Leicester.

Finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Richard from Ringwood in Hampshire

and this is my very best friend, Dave, from York.

-And these are today's contestants.

-APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

The bubbly, pom-pom waving, high school cheerleader

to my muscle-bound quarterback -

it's my pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-What a line-up today.

-I know.

That was quite idiosyncratic as intros go, don't you think?

We know already, we know Dan and Keith from the last show,

-they got through to the head-to-head.

-Yes.

-They did very, very well.

Going to be tough to beat, but I sense we've got three pairs

-who are going to be very interesting on today's show.

-Yeah.

-By interesting, I mean trouble, you know that?

-Yeah, yeah.

That last podium.

-Yeah.

-Hello.

-ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

-He's called himself Richard, which I think is a fine name...

-Yeah.

..but on his sign it says "Dickie", which I'm less happy with.

-I've never gone with Dickie.

-You've never...

-Well, Rich, I suppose, sometimes.

-Rich. My family all call me Ricky.

-Really?

-Yeah. Round One is on a subject very close to my heart.

Good stuff, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been asked

to 100 people before the show, as ever.

The aim of the game is to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

So, Marilyn and Steve won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, the pair with the highest score at the end of this round

will be eliminated and do remember,

there is to be no conferring during the round.

Our first category today is...

Capital cities. Can you all decide

in your pairs who's going to go first and who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Six letters or fewer. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any capital city of the world whose normal

English name has six letters or fewer.

As always, by country,

we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

So any capital city of the world

whose name has six letters or fewer, please.

Very best of luck.

Thank you. Dan and Keith, you all drew lots before the show

-and today you are going to go first. Dan, welcome back.

-Hello again.

Now, last time we chatted about your band, I'm not going to...

-I'm fine now.

-Let's not start this again.

No, we discussed your band.

-Tell us what your band is called.

-It's called Culdesac.

Nothing wrong with that, it's a perfectly good name.

Aside from music, Dan, what do you like to get up to?

I'm a big football fan.

I support Aston Villa and I'm also a keen cricketer as well.

OK, good stuff. How are you on capital cities?

-OK.

-Yeah, but capital cities with six letters, that's not...

-I think I've got one that's quite obscure, a bit of a punt.

-OK.

It's the capital of Liechtenstein...

That's Vaduz.

Vaduz, says Dan.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

That's a good answer, Dan.

Look at that! It's a pointless answer, Dan!

What a way to start the show!

Brilliant, that adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £1,250

and most importantly, it scores you absolutely nothing.

-Very well done, Dan. Great way to start.

-Yeah, Vaduz, Dan.

That's a terrific answer, very well played, especially from that

first podium with less thinking time than anyone else.

That is... That's quite a start to the show, well played.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Jim, welcome to Pointless, good to have you here.

-What do you do, Jim?

-I study English Lit and I'm in my second year now.

-In your second year at Warwick?

-Yes.

-Enjoying it?

Very much so, yes, it's great.

And what sort of things do you get up to at Warwick?

I do a lot of musical theatre, I'm on the executive committee.

OK, and have you ever played Pointless before, Jim?

Well, sort of, cos at Warwick we have this student arts festival

that runs every year and one of the events we ran last year

was a recreation of Pointless and I was in the Richard Osman role.

-Were you?

-So... Yeah.

I didn't know as much as he does

so I made most of the interesting facts up, but it was...

Hey, wait, that's what I do. LAUGHTER

I'll tell you what though, if they have recreated Pointless,

they, of course, owe us money, because...

-Well, cos it is copyrighted, isn't it?

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So before we go on with the round we should get

-some sort of financial recompense.

-Yeah, yeah.

Not from the guys, we'll get it from the University of Warwick cos they're...

Or just get it straight from the charity that you were doubtless raising money for.

-Yeah, who was it for? We'll talk to them.

-Yeah.

Very good. Jim, great to have you here.

Is he doing a good job, is he all right?

-Yeah, he's just about filling my shoes.

-OK, good, good.

Now then, Jim, what are you going to go for?

Well, I know that Mark's going to have a really good answer.

So I'm going to go for one, which, I hope is right.

-Slightly safe, the capital of Portugal, Lisbon.

-Lisbon.

OK, Lisbon, says Jim. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lisbon.

It's right.

Well, our only other answer so far was pointless,

let's see where Lisbon ends up. 25.

-Yeah, happy with that.

-I think that's OK.

-Yeah, Lisbon, do you know any good facts about Lisbon?

-Em...

-It begins with an "L".

-Ah, that doesn't quite count, does it?

It's the only place where kangaroos breed in the wild,

it's the only capital city in Europe

where kangaroos breed in the wild, Lisbon.

Are they escaped kangaroos or...?

No, I'm making it up, I'm making it up.

-I just wanted to see how that felt.

-OK.

Oh, it felt pretty good.

Thanks very much. Now, Loz, welcome to Pointless.

-It's great to have you here.

-Hello!

-What do you do, Loz?

-I'm an artist.

-What kind, what medium?

-A little bit of everything,

but I do sort of large-scale digitally constructed images.

That sounds fascinating, what's the biggest thing you've made?

I did a life-sized sculpture of a baby elephant,

I painted and designed it

for the Elephant Parade in London a few years ago.

That's brilliant. What are your other interests, Loz?

-I like nature and history and beer.

-SHE GIGGLES

-Nature, history and beer.

-The best three.

-There we are, well said.

Loz, good stuff.

Now, how about your capital cities, are you confident about those?

I feel a bit smug because on the drive down here this is what

-I was looking up.

-This is good, this is good, I like this.

-So I'm going to say Quito.

-Quito?

-If that's...

-Quey-toh?

-Yes. There you go.

-Or Quit-oh is fine.

-Whichever, you know.

-Or Quito, I guess.

-Whatever suits.

-Quito, let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Quito.

It's right. 25 is our high score, 0 is our low score.

Well, you passed 25 comfortably, look at that, 1!

APPLAUSE

Loz, well done, you.

Quito is a fabulous answer and a wonderful low score.

Yeah, terrific answer. It's always worthwhile, isn't it, doing a little bit of revision.

Lucky we're taking the English name cos its full name...

Well, it's the capital of Ecuador, its full name is

San Francisco de Quito, which has got more than six letters.

Ah, yes. Yes.

-Thank you very much, Richard. Now then, Dickie.

-Hiya.

Dickie, you are welcome at Pointless,

-it's great to have you here. What do you do, Dickie?

-I'm a bus driver.

-Whereabouts?

-Down in Dorset, in Hampshire.

Our bus network covers three counties,

-so we've got quite a big network that we cover.

-Good...

That's a slogan, "Our bus network covers three counties."

-That's good, isn't it?

-Isn't it, yeah. That is good.

-What are your interests when you're not driving?

-I like film, theatre.

A lot of things have kind of been knocked on the head now cos

-I've got a 14-month-old daughter, so...

-Lovely.

..she takes up most of my time now, but I'm happy about that.

Good stuff. Now then, Dickie, capital cities.

Yeah, I pretty much know every capital city that's

seven letters or more, but this one, it's a little bit tricky,

so I'm going to take a gamble

because geography's not my strong point and I'm going to say Rome.

OK, Rome, says Dickie. Let's see if Rome's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said it. Rome.

It's right.

Well, 25 is our high score till now. 55.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, the capital of Italy, Rome, of course.

You know what, if you don't want 100 points it's worth just

going for damage limitation sometimes, isn't it?

They reckon over 700,000 euros' worth of coins

get thrown in the Trevi Fountain every year.

-Wow.

-That's a lot, isn't it?

-Yeah. Is it someone's official job to scoop them all out?

-Yep.

And he gets paid 750,000 euros a year. There's...

-There's certain issues with it.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks very much indeed. OK, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores as they stand, Dan. Dan, look at that.

-Dan.

-I know.

-Very well done.

And a pointless answer there putting you and your dad

in pole position at this point of the game.

Then up to 1 where we find Loz.

Loz, fantastic, 1.

Then up to 25 where we find Jim and Mark,

going up to 55 where we find Dickie and Dave.

It's not all lost yet, Dave, I think you might have a good answer.

We're going to come back down the line now, could the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so we are looking for capital cities, Dave.

Capital cities with six letters

or fewer in their names.

-Dave, welcome to the show, great to have you here.

-Thank you very much.

-What do you do, Dave?

-I've done so many jobs.

One of the things that I did do that was really cool was

-I was King of the Vikings in York.

-I was going to say, you...

-Oh, really, what in the Viking Centre?

-Yes, yeah.

The official title was Viking Team Leader, but...

It's not that good when you're talking to women in bars, so...

"I'm King of the Vikings!"

-I'd buy Dave as King of the Vikings...

-Yeah, I would definitely.

-Any minute of any day.

-Yeah.

-OK.

Now, Dave, there you are on 55,

you're the high scorers currently, so we do need a low score from you.

-Mmmm...

-How are you on world geography?

Geography is not my strongest point, I do travel a lot,

but mainly to find good restaurants, cos I really like to eat.

So, I think it's a capital city,

and it's definitely less than six letters, I'm going to go for Lima.

Lima, says Dave. Lima.

There's no red line for you as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Lima.

It's right.

Down it goes, good answer. 18, Dave, well done.

APPLAUSE

73 your total.

-Well played, Dave.

-Have you been to Lima?

-No.

-It is genuinely one of the great culinary centres

of the world now, Lima.

Lots of foodies go out there to go to all the different restaurants,

-it's supposed to be extraordinary.

-I didn't know.

Haven't been myself. Yeah, yeah.

-Quite fun. Thanks very much indeed. Hayley, welcome.

-Thank you.

A warm welcome to you. What do you do, Hayley?

I'm an operational support officer for Greater Manchester Police.

-Oh, how long have you done that for?

-Nearly ten months now.

What do you get up to when you're not doing that?

I've recently started doing patchwork quilting. I also bake.

I've brought some biscuits in today,

which everyone has smashed their way through! And yeah...

Well, I know Dave might have done that, but surely...

-I told them to bring you some, but they refused.

-You told who?

-I'm not going to mention any names.

-No, go on, who did you tell?

LOZ LAUGHS

We'll get you some later.

There's still some left. I think.

-They look so sad.

-I feel like...

I feel like I've gone to Lima after the restaurants have shut.

If I'd known I would have smuggled them in my pockets.

-What kind of biscuits were they?

-They were orange, pecan and raisin.

Oh! Oh!

-Don't... Oh!

-And if I may say so, they are amazing.

-Oh, mmm...

Oh, my mouth is watering. Oh, that sounds so good.

Literally, everybody working on this show from the directors and

producers upstairs to make-up, I bet they're all eating them right now.

-They've got crumbs all over them.

-As we're working.

-Yeah.

I'm absolutely appalled...

..at this turn of events.

-Let's get on with the show.

-OK.

Listen, Hayley, well, they sound delicious.

They really do sound very good.

What are you going to go for?

I'm not very good at geography, but I'm going to go for Riga.

Well, Loz has left you in a very strong position.

The high scorers are Dave and Dickie on 73. You're on 1. 71 or less

will get you through. Riga, you are seeing. Let's see.

Is that right?

My mouth is still watering from the thought of those biscuits.

There is your red line, Hayley.

If you get below that with Riga, you are in Round Two.

It's right, very well done.

You are through.

Still going down, Hayley. 8.

Well done.

Our first single figure total of the round. Very well done indeed.

Well played, Hayley. Capital of Latvia, of course, Riga.

Don't do too well, cos we want you to come back next time.

I'll send some in the post.

-SCOFFING:

-Yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard. Mark, welcome to the show.

-You are also studying at Warwick.

-Yes, I'm a third year in economics.

When not studying economics, what have you filled your time with?

I like theatre and I play a bit of golf

in my spare time in the holidays.

OK, are you quite a tasty golfer?

Yeah, well, I played a lot of pitch and putt when I was young.

Me and my dad played a lot.

We ended up calling this person who was like,

"Come along to our British pitch and putt championships."

We now like travel abroad,

around Europe with the International Pitch and Putt association.

-It's good fun.

-Wow. So in the world of pitch and putt, you are it.

-I'm right up there, yeah.

-You are right up there.

Well done you. That's fantastic.

There you are on 25. The high scorers on 73 are Dave and Dickie.

If you can score 47 or less, you're in the next round.

Jim said you would have a brilliant answer.

Jim's been kind of, to be honest, Jim's been relying on you, Mark.

Yeah, capital cities are kind of my thing.

I think I've got a few obscure ones.

Let's have a pointless answer.

I believe the capital of Eritrea is Asmara.

Asmara says Mark.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Asmara.

There's your red line.

If Asmara gets you below that, you're in Round Two.

It's right.

You're through.

And it's a pointless answer. Very, very well done, Mark.

That is a great achievement. It adds another £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to...

It scores you nothing and it leave your total at 25.

-Very well done indeed. What a great answer.

-Terrific work.

As you say, the capital of Eritrea.

-That's good.

-He's very good.

That's impressive.

Keith. Keith, welcome back.

Good to have you here again.

Keith, remind us what happened to you last time.

We got beaten by worthy winners. The deciding subject was bees.

But you were very close to going through to the final.

What a great position Dan's set you up with.

What can I say?

What can you say? Is your knowledge of capital cities as good as Dan's?

Yeah, I think I can go relatively safe.

I'm going to go for... I've got three in my head.

I'll go for Oslo.

Oslo says Keith.

Well, as long as you can score 72 or less,

you are through to the next round.

There's your red line.

Let's see if Oslo can get you below it.

Very well done. Through you go.

46. Good enough.

Yes, capital of Norway. Safe and sound, Keith. Very well done.

There's quite a few pointless answers.

Let's take a look at a few of them.

You could have had Astana, which is the capital of Kazakhstan.

Doha, which is Qatar. Harare, which is Zimbabwe.

You could have had Manama, which is Bahrain.

Muscat, which is Oman.

Praia, a very good answer, Cape Verde Islands' capital.

Roseau, which is Dominica.

Tunis, which is Tunisia, of course.

You could have had Vaduz, which we had on the first podium.

Other answers you could have had Male, which is the Maldives.

Maputo, Nassau, you could have had Riyadh.

Skopje would have been pointless.

There's quite a few out there. Well done if you got any of those.

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home

with their enormous score of 73, it's Dave and Dickie.

I'm sorry, this is far too soon to be sending you away.

Think of all the fun we could have had if you'd been with us

the whole show. The good news is we'll see you next time.

We look forward to that. Thanks for playing.

Dave and Dickie, lovely pair.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain.

At the end of this round we have to say goodbye another pair

in time for our Head-to-head Round. Best of luck to you all.

Our category for round two is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

The question concerns...

Books with adjectives in their titles, Richard.

On each pass, we're going to show you the names of six books,

but we've left an adjective out of each of the titles.

The more obscure answer, the fewer points you're going to score.

There's 12 in all to have a go at at home, so best of luck.

Thanks very much.

We're looking for the adjectives that are missing

from these book titles.

Here is our first board of six.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Six book titles with missing adjectives.

Dan, you are to go first. How are we feeling about this board?

Terrible. Absolutely terrible.

I'm going to have to just go for the top one

and think of something radical and go The Dark Veil.

The Dark Veil, the Somerset Maugham book.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said The Dark Veil.

Bad luck, Dan.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

scores you the maximum of 100 points.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, Dan, unlucky after that pointless answer in the first round.

Give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks, Richard. Mark, how are you feeling about this board?

I think, obviously, people that like capital cities

don't like novels very much, because...

Oh.

-I mean...

-You know how Jim relied on you in the last round...

-Yeah, I think Jim should be pretty solid.

-One would hope.

We'll find out.

-But I trust him. I trust him.

-Yes.

I reckon I know some of the authors.

I'm going to have to go with the bottom one.

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett.

The Secret Garden, says Mark.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Secret Garden.

It's right.

54.

Yeah, a lot better than 100. Well done, good tactics.

Thanks very much, Richard. Loz.

Oh, Loz.

There's only two that I can kind of guess, which is

The Black Dahlia and maybe The Cold Mountain.

This is really bad. I'm going to go The Black Dahlia.

-Sorry.

-The Black Dahlia, says Loz. The Black Dahlia.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said The Black Dahlia.

It's absolutely right.

Very well done, Loz.

Down it goes, 34, the lowest score of the pass, in fact.

Good guess, Loz. The Black Dahlia is a terrific novel by James Ellroy.

Our hundred did rather well on that, 34 knowing that.

Do you know the Somerset Maugham one? It's The Painted Veil.

The Painted Veil. It would have scored you 7.

The Dan Brown one, a huge seller, one of the follow ups to Da Vinci Code.

The Lost Symbol. It was all over the book shops for years and years.

21 points.

-The Phillip Pullman.

-The Subtle Knife.

The Subtle Knife.

That would have scored you 18. This is the best answer on the board.

-The Magic Mountain.

-It is The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann. 4 points.

Well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 34, Loz, well done.

Somewhere at the back of your mind you knew that, The Black Dahlia. 34.

54 is where we find Mark and Jim. 100, I'm afraid, for Dan and Keith.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, let's put six more book titles up on the board. Here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

Remember, we are looking for the adjectives that are missing

from these novel titles.

Hayley, obviously you're going to try and find the one

you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-How do you find that board, Hayley?

-I was good on the last one.

I know a few on this one.

I used to work in a bookshop,

so I should have a really good knowledge.

I'm going to go for The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold.

The Lovely Bones.

OK, The Lovely Bones.

There's your red line, if you get below that,

you're in the Head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Lovely Bones.

It's right. You're in the Head-to-Head. Very well done.

36 it scores.

70 is your total. Very well done, Hayley.

Well played, Hayley.

Stayed on the New York Times' bestseller list for over a year,

that book.

Sold over 2 million hardback alone.

-Jim.

-Yes.

Jim, now then, I think this is a slightly kinder board.

Yeah, I'd agree.

I think so.

What do you make of it?

-I think I could name four of the five on there.

-Pretty good.

I think I'm going to take a punt, because...

Well, I study English lit, so if I get this wrong

then I'll be the laughing stock of everyone.

The Quiet American, Graham Greene.

The Quiet American, says Jim. Here's your red line.

You get below that red line you're through to the Head-to-head.

Let's see if it is the Quiet American.

Let's see how many people said it.

It is, of course, The Quiet American. Very well done, Jim.

Through you go to the Head-to-head. Well done. 17 it scores you.

71 your total.

Well played, Jim. Your reputation is intact.

That's a stroke of luck, isn't it?

Thanks, Richard.

Now, Keith, I have grave news.

You are the high scorers, even before you've given your answer.

However...

..what about taking us through this board,

seeing if you can fill in some of those blanks for us?

There's an obvious one there - The Scarlet Pimpernel.

I think the top one, is it The Long Sleep?

Is that the one you want to go for?

I'll go for the top one The Long Sleep.

The Long Sleep, says Keith.

OK, well, let's find out if that's right and,

if it is, how many people said it. The Long Sleep.

Bad luck, Keith. I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

Yeah, it's kind of The Long Sleep,

it's The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler.

34 points it would have scored you.

You're right about The Scarlet Pimpernel.

That would have scored you 53 points.

The next one down is The Illustrated Mum by the wonderful

Jacqueline Wilson. Would have scored you 9.

-The next one, I bet you know this.

-The Little Prince.

The Little Prince would have scored you 25,

so The Illustrated Mum is the Best answer on that board.

-Well done if you got that.

-Thanks, Richard.

At the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair leaving us

with their high score of 200, it's Keith and Dan.

After such a strong start, that first round was fantastic.

You've left a little contribution in the jackpot, which was big of you.

Thank you so much, Keith and Dan.

APPLAUSE

Good luck, guys.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the Head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Hayley and Loz, Jim and Mark,

you are now one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands...

There it is. Now we have to decide who's going to play for that money.

To do that, you're now going to go Head-to-head.

From here on in, you're allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Let's play the Head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. It concerns...

Royal Children, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures

of members of the royal family when they were children.

Can you identify who they are and give us the most obscure? Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five royal children. Here they come.

We have got...

There we are. Five royal children. All you have to do is identify them.

Hayley and Loz, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go for the easy one.

Prince George for C.

OK, C, Prince George.

C, Prince George.

Jim and Mark, do you fancy having a crack at all the others?

OK, well, we think that B is Princess Anne.

E we think is either Beatrice or Eugenie.

But we can't tell them apart.

A could be Andrew, could be any of them.

D might be Her Majesty the Queen herself, but we aren't sure,

so I think we're going to go B, Princess Anne.

B, Princess Anne.

B, Princess Anne.

Hayley and Loz have said Prince George for C.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Prince George.

It's right.

62.

That's quite a high score.

Jim and Mark have said that B is Princess Anne.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Princess Anne.

No, it's not.

Which means, Hayley and Loz, after one question you are up 1-0.

-Very well done.

-Unlucky, gents.

Princess Anne is on the board, but she's D.

With the horse.

Would have scored 61.

If that was a colour photo you might have said

-Zara Phillips for that one.

-Yeah.

61 points. Now, B, not Princess Anne.

I thought it was the Queen,

then I thought it was maybe Princess Margaret.

-It's her daughter, Lady Sarah Armstrong Jones.

-Yeah.

It's Princess Margaret's daughter, Lady Sarah Chatto.

Would have scored you 7 points.

E is Princess Eugenie.

Would have scored you 17.

And that leaves the pointless answer, which is A,

which is Prince Michael of Kent. Very well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed. So, here comes your second question.

Jim and Mark, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Carry On films, Richard.

Yes, going to show you five sets of initials now of Carry On films.

You need to tell us the film, please.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Jim and Mark, you will go first.

INAUDIBLE DISCUSSION

We're going to go with the bottom one.

Carry On Up The Khyber.

Carry On Up The Khyber, say Jim and Mark.

Carry On Up The Khyber.

Now, Hayley and Loz, do you want to talk us through the others?

We think COM is Carry On Matron.

COH might be Carry On Holidays?

Carry On Butler, the second one?

THEY GIGGLE

The second one we don't know, so

we're going for Carry On Matron.

COM, Carry On Matron.

So, Carry On Up The Khyber and Carry On Matron.

Jim and Mark said Carry On Up The Khyber. Let's see

if that's right and, if it is, let's see how money people said it.

It is right.

-It's a high score.

-APPLAUSE

It's a high score. Hayley and Loz

have gone for COM, Carry On Matron.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said that?

It's right

and it wins you the point! Very well done indeed. 53.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Hayley and Loz,

after only two questions you are through to the final 2-0.

-Very well done.

-Yeah, very well played.

The two highest answers. You know in Carry On Up The Khyber,

the Khyber Pass is actually the Watkin Path in Snowdonia.

-Is it really?

-Yeah. That's nice, isn't it?

-Isn't that nice?

And they had to borrow all the uniforms from Zulu.

-The film Zulu. That's quite good, isn't it?

-Brilliant.

Now let's fill in the rest of these.

All these other answers, guys, would have won you the point.

Can you have a crack at either of the top two?

I think I know the bottom one and the middle one -

-is it Carry On At Your Convenience?

-It is, set in a toilet factory.

Yeah, would have scored you 28 points.

So would have seen you through.

The other two are harder because it's only one word.

-The top one is Carry On Henry.

-I said that!

That would have scored you 11 points.

And the best answer there, Carry On Behind.

Very well done if you said that. 5 points for that.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, our pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Jim and Mark, a very strong performance throughout the show.

Yes, they were tough, those Royal children photographs.

When you saw them, were there any others you might have got,

that might have scored a bit lower?

We probably could have got Anne if we'd stayed at it a bit longer.

Yeah, a strong performance otherwise,

which bodes well for your next appearance.

We look forward to that.

Jim and Mark, thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for Hayley and Loz, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Hayley and Loz.

You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £1,500.

There it is.

You've done so well. I mean, a really solid performance.

Consistently low scoring and then 2-0 in the head-to-head.

How's about that?

As you know, you have four choices, four options to choose from,

and here they are.

LAUGHTER

Ouch!

-My husband is a chemist.

-Yeah.

Not in the drug dispensing, as in, like, mad scientist.

But I don't want to do it cos he'll be really mad!

Chick-lit, I don't read chick-lit.

Men's running records - I've no idea.

Blackpool - I live near Blackpool, but I never...go.

-Shall we do chemistry?

-Go on, chemistry.

-Chemistry, please.

Chemistry it is. Richard?

Good luck! HAYLEY AND LOZ LAUGH

No, only because your husband is a chemist.

We're going to give you three options now, where you are

looking for any of the ten minerals

on the original Mohs Scale Of Hardness.

Any of the ten minerals on the original scale.

We're looking for any of the lanthanoid chemical symbols -

that's anything between 57 and 71 on the periodic table.

We are looking for any scientists

who have elements named after them,

either directly or indirectly.

As of August 2013, please.

So, any of the minerals on the original Mohs Scale,

any of the lanthanoid chemical symbols or any scientists with

an element named either directly

or indirectly after them, please.

Very best of luck.

-Well, that's nice and easy, isn't it(?)

-LAUGHTER

Bye!

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win the jackpot, £1,500,

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

The answers you give can come from any of those categories

and you can spread them over the categories. It's up to you.

They could all be from the same one or one from each, or whatever.

-Are you ready?

-Yup.

-As we'll ever be.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Mohs Scale is like...

-INDISTINCT

Speak up!

Sorry! Gold and silver in the middle, so, like, maybe...

argon or neon or...

-Fluoron?

-Fluoride? Oh, my God!

-Shall we just guess some from the middle one?

-Yeah.

Cos I don't know about the Mohs. Shall we just guess the middle one?

-What, like calcium or magnesium...?

-They'd be high, though.

I think we should guess the middle one. So shall we say...

-neon...fluoron?

-Mercury?

-That'll be high, though, people know about that one.

-Hm.

Argon.

-Argon?

-Argon.

-Neon?

-Neon.

They are all probably wrong!

Um...

-Oh, my God...

-We'll just have to guess some.

-Ten seconds left.

Scientists with elements named after them.

Einstein has one, but that's going to be the biggest one.

-Shall we say argon and fluorine?

-Fluorine.

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

-What are you going to give me?

-We're going to go for the middle one with a guess.

-What, the lanthanoid?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. That one.

-Oh, my God...

-OK, Ar.

Ar.

-Ne, for neon.

-Ne.

-Ne.

And...F...l.

And Fl.

So Ar, Ne and Fl.

Of those three, which do think is your best shot..

at a pointless answer? They could all be right.

-Fl, cos it's probably wrong overall.

-Fl.

-We'll put Fl last. Which is your least likely to be pointless?

-Ne.

Ne. We'll put Ne first.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order.

And here they are.

Well, good luck.

THEY LAUGH

Now, your first answer was Ne.

All these answers you gave me were for the middle category, elements

from the lanthanoid group, and we wanted the chemical symbols of them.

OK, your first answer - you thought this was

probably your least likely to be pointless, your Ne.

But remember, only one of these has to be correct

and pointless for you to win the jackpot. It could just happen.

If it were to happen, what would you do with your prize money?

I'd like to treat my boyfriend to a new camera.

He's been looking at one.

-It's £2,000, but I'll give him a bit towards it.

-OK.

That's very decent of you! Loz?

-I'd probably go away on a little break somewhere...

-Very nice...

-..to recover from the embarrassment of this!

-LAUGHTER

OK, now, we were looking for...

All of these, as I say, are from the lanthanoid

group of elements and we're looking for their chemical symbols.

Ne was your first answer. This has to be right

and it has to be pointless to win the jackpot,

so for £1,500, let's find out how many of our 100 people said Ne.

Is it correct?

No.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

-I fear it's not correct.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Ar.

Also, you thought, the chemical symbol of an element

from the lanthanoid group.

Let's find out if it's right and if it's pointless.

For £1,500, how many people said Ar?

No! Bad luck.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer, as it turns out.

Which means everything is now riding on Fl.

THEY GIGGLE

Your third and final shot at today's jackpot.

-How are you feeling, all right?

-Not confident.

-Going out in a bang, though.

-Yeah.

-We shall see, we shall see.

To win the jackpot it has to be right and it has to be pointless.

Let's find out.

Is Fl the chemical symbol of an element from the lanthanoid group?

-No! Bad luck, I'm afraid it's not.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

APPLAUSE

You didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

You didn't find that all-important CORRECT answer, to be fair,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,500. That will roll over onto the next show.

But we've enjoyed having you on the show. You've done so well. A real credit to you, actually.

But you do get to take home a Pointless trophy, so very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, sorry, tough question.

I always hate sending people home to a house where someone knows the answer as well.

I always feel guilty.

Argon and neon both noble gases and Fl is the symbol for flerovium,

which isn't a lanthanoid, I'm afraid.

Now, the Mohs Scale, where diamond is the biggest score

and various things, but I think, given that you didn't buy us any

biscuits, I think it's very apt that the first pointless answer was...

apatite.

LAUGHTER

That would have won you the money.

Fluorite and orthoclase, all of those were pointless answers.

The other seven weren't.

Diamond had the biggest score there. Quartz, topaz, all scoring points as well.

Let's look at the lanthanoids. Let's look at your lanthanoids.

Er, Eu, Sm, Yb.

You could also have had Dy, Gd, Ho, Lu, Pm, Tb, Tm.

-I wish my job was always as easy!

-Yeah, I know! That's great.

And the final one, the scientists with elements named after them.

You could have had...

Enrico Fermi - fermium,

Glenn Seaborg - seaborgium,

Johan Gadolin - gadolinium,

and Lise Meitner.

You also could have had Georgy Flyorov, for flerovium.

Very, very well done to the chemists who got that at home.

And if you're not a chemist and you got that at home, very, very, VERY well done!

Unless you just guessed two letters for the second one, which I bet some people did.

-You know what, I'm still thinking about biscuits. Are you?

-A little bit, yeah.

But, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Hayley and Loz,

but we have loved having you on the show. Thank you so much for playing. Hayley and Loz!

APPLAUSE

Now, Hayley and Loz didn't win our jackpot today, which means it

rolls onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,500.

APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING

Join us next time, see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.