Episode 8 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can.

You do that by coming up with the answers no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number one.

-Hi, I'm Catherine.

-This is my sister Kirsten, and we're from Edinburgh.

-Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Mark. This is my friend Jim,

and we're both students at the University of Warwick.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Erin, this is my mum's partner Dave.

-We've come from London and Coventry.

-And couple number four.

-Good day.

I'm Dave from York and from Hampshire we have Richard,

known to the world as Dickie.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce. He's got

a thirst for knowledge but he will also drink dandelion and burdock.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everyone.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

I'm very well, I'll tell you what, though. I hope I'm not breaking a terrible confidence

here, we do sometimes pre-record these shows, they don't go out live.

-I know. I know.

-You're kidding me.

No, sometimes we do. So when people watch this it might be in spring or in high summer,

you never know.

We are recording this, I don't think you can see my breath there.

-I'm going to say it's fresh in the studio.

-It is quite cold, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Some days you can walk in and it's fine, some days

-it's like someone has left a massive door open.

-Yes.

I'm going to say, because by the end of the show

when I have a beard and bits of icicle hanging off it,

I just want to let people know that's why.

It is a bit like the re-creation of Shackleton's last voyage, isn't it?

-Yes, a little. Just a bit.

-Very similar.

-Let's take a look at our crewmates.

-Yes!

-That's good, isn't it?

-By which I mean our contestants.

-Very good.

-Thank you.

Two returning players, Jim and Mark did very well last time

got through to the head-to-head.

But Dickie and Dave, less so. Knocked out first round.

Dave, who as we learned last time, used to be a Viking.

-I think that's what the V stands for.

-Dave Viking? Yeah, I think so.

That's quick fun, isn't it?

Now Round One today is a sort of round that everyone's going to be

scared of, but actually I think when you actually play the round,

-you might surprise yourself.

-OK. Thanks very much indeed.

As usual all of today's questions have been

asked of 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are on the hunt for those all-important pointless

answers, that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Hayley and Loz didn't win the jackpot last time

so we add another £1,000 to that, so the jackpot starts off at £2,500.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be

eliminated and also, please remember there's to be no conferring during the round.

OK. Our first category is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, and who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Shakespeare Quotations. Richard.

On each pass we'll show you seven Shakespeare quotations

but we have left out one word from each one. Can you tell us what that word is, please?

The more obscure answer you give, the lower your score will be.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home, best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. So we're looking for the missing word which

completes each of these Shakespeare quotations.

Here's our first board of seven.

I will read those all one more time.

Catherine and Kirsten, you all drew lots before the show and you are going to go first.

-Kirsten, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-What do you do?

-I'm a student at Glasgow University.

-OK, from Edinburgh, at Glasgow. What year are you in?

-I'm in fourth year.

-Fourth year.

-Yeah. Studying Veterinary Medicine but I'm into zoology at the moment.

What do you like getting up to in your spare time.

I really love music so I try to go and see a lot of live bands

-and DJs around Glasgow.

-Excellent, how's your Shakespeare?

It's average I'd say, but I think I know a couple of them.

Just trying to figure out which one is going to be best.

I think I'm going to risk it and say the Hamlet quotation is, "Alas, poor Horick."

-"Alas poor, Horick"?

-Yeah.

Says Kirsten. Let's see if that is right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people have said "Horick".

Kirsten, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer. I'm really sorry.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Sorry, often tough on that first podium.

I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed. Mark, welcome back.

-Welcome back. Now you are an undergraduate at the University of Warwick.

-Yes.

-Remind us what you do there.

-I'm studying economics.

What do you get up to in your spare time?

At Warwick I do a lot of theatre and a bit of singing.

-I sing in an a cappella group.

-Do you? What sort of size group?

-There are 13 of us.

-Do you perform around the university or...?

Yes, we performed yesterday, in fact. We had a little thing. A concert.

-Did you go along?

-I didn't, unfortunately.

-That was loyal, good.

-Any particular pressing reason why not?

-I was in rehearsal for another

show at the time. I was there in spirit.

Mark, that's a show you can miss as well.

So then, Mark, what about all these Shakespeare quotes.

I think you're going to know all of them.

Erm, it's safe to say I don't know all of them.

Jim is pretty solid on Shakespeare.

So I'm going to go for a safe one. I'm going to go for

"Is this a dagger which I see before me?" Macbeth.

"Is this a dagger which I see before me?"

Let's see if that's right and see how many people said dagger.

38.

Very well done, Mark, 38 for dagger.

Said by Macbeth himself of course.

You've said "Macbeth" an awful lot of times and you're not supposed to.

-Oh, no!

-It's supposed to bring a chill upon the studio...

They do say so, yes.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Erin, welcome to the show,

great to have you here. What do you do?

I actually work in cricket. I work with the England team

-and a lot of former England players.

-That's fun.

-That is great, how long have you done that?

-For three summers now.

But you work with a lot of former cricketers. What do you do for them?

A lot of appearances they might do for sponsors, that kind of thing,

also we provide a team of former players that will take on local

clubs and schools, that kind of thing.

-A lot charitable work as well?

-Exactly, yeah.

Fantastic. How are we feeling about this board?

I'm going to have to go with the

one that, if it's right, will be the highest-scoring.

And say, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

"A rose by any other name."

I can guarantee it's not going to be quite as high-scoring as one

answer we've had. But we'll find out. A rose,

is that right and if it is,

how many of our 100 people said rose?

It's right.

Well 38... Oh! 68, your score.

Said by Juliet in the famous balcony scene of course.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Dave V. Dave V...

-The V doesn't stand for Viking obviously.

-It doesn't.

That would be too good to be true. What does it stand for?

-It stands for Vale. Second name.

-Dave Vale.

That's a good name, Dave Vale.

-And he plays in a medieval rock band.

-I used to.

He was sacked from a medieval rock band. Quite recently.

-He played the drums.

-Yes.

-Dave Vale!

HE IMITATES DRUMS

-Did you ever do that? You should have.

-Constantly!

Good. And that...?

When you drum, did you ever have a hat with horns on?

-I didn't, no. I missed a trick.

-He'd become a hat with horns on.

Yeah, no wonder you got fired.

LAUGHTER

Now, then, Dave.

Dave. This board's all yours. Do you fancy having a punt at any of them?

I'll have a punt. I think it's "full fathoms foul..."

but I'm not sure about that. "Now is the winter of our

"discontent made glorious summer by this son of York."

And I think it's, "Playthings to wanton boys we are to the gods."

Again I'm not sure about that.

It's, "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio."

But, I'm going to go for last one, "Once more unto the breach,

"dear friends, once more, or close the wall up with our English dead."

Well done. Like that, "English dead!" Was that one of your songs?

-English Dead!

-English Dead!

Dave V says, "Once more unto the breach." Let's see if that's

right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

59, well done.

-59 for breach.

-Yes, said by Henry V himself, of course.

Everyone taking advantage there of poor Kirsten's one-letter mistake to

go for the obvious answers. It is "Yorick" not "Horick".

That would've scored you... 50 points.

Now, it's not "full fathom foul." Do you know that one?

-"Five".

-"Full fathom five".

Absolutely. That would have scored you nine points.

Now is the...?

-"Winter".

-Yep. Richard III, that would've scored 47.

-It's not, "As playthings to wanton boys."

-"Flies".

"As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods."

Five points for that so that's the best answer up there,

-well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores as they

stand. 38 the best score, Mark, very well done and we've still got

Jim, the Shakespeare expert to come. So we're expecting great things.

Listen, no pressure, Jim.

None at all(!)

Then up to 59 where we find Dave Vale and Dickie.

Then up to 68 where we find Erin and Dave H.

And then up to 100 where we find Kirsten and Catherine.

Anything might happen in the next pass, Catherine, best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we'll put seven more Shakespeare quotes on the board

and here they come...

I'll read those all again.

Now, Dickie, remember we are looking for the missing

words in each of these quotes from Shakespeare and you're going to

try and find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew. Now, Dickie.

-Yes.

-You and Dave are celebrating 20 years of close friendship.

-Yes.

What are some of the things you've done,

obviously you're appearing on Pointless as part

of the celebrations, the whole year

-is given up to this.

-I did not know that.

-Yeah, yeah.

There are street parties going to be held in our part of the country.

What else are you doing to celebrate or have you done in this

anniversary year?

We've both got really different music tastes, looking

so similar it's hard to imagine that we have but, we thought it

might be quite a nice idea to go to gigs that each other likes.

-That was brave.

-It was. Especially on my part.

I took Dave to see Chas'n'Dave earlier this year, which he

really enjoyed. And Dave took me to see a group called the Hawkwind.

"The" Hawkwind!

-Is it the Hawkwind?

-I think it's just Hawkwind.

-Yeah. Yeah.

-They did have horns on their headwear!

-Did they really?

-They did.

Yeah!

Brilliant. OK, Dickie, which one of these quotes do you want to go for?

I kind of knew that hopefully the Carry On films didn't let me

down, so I am going to say, because I remember one of the characters

saying it in Carry On Cleo, "Beware the ides of March."

"Beware the ides of March," says Dickie. You're on 59.

The high-scorers are Catherine and Kirsten on 100,

40 or less gets you through.

There's your red line, below that you are in Round Two.

Let's see how many you score for the "ides of March".

61. That takes you up to 120.

I think you should be all right.

-Yes, a big scorer, isn't it?

-Yes.

120 is a fair old score as well, yep, "Beware the ides of March."

Beware 15th March we would say if we were talking today.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Dave H, welcome.

-You've come here from Coventry?

-I do.

-What does the H stand for?

-Hayward.

-I thought you were going to say Hale for a minute,

that would be just... Hale and Vale!

Erm... What do you do, Dave?

I'm a calibration engineer working in the aerospace industry.

Very good. Now then, how is your Shakespeare?

Not a good board to be honest.

I knew...I think I know two on the board.

I'm going to go for the top one,

"The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."

"The slings and arrows," says Dave.

The high scorers are Dickie and Dave on 120.

You're on 68, 51 or less sees you through. There is your red line.

Let's see if "arrows" was right.

Let's see if it will get Dave below the red line.

Yes, it will! Ooh, just, look at that!

You needed 51. 48 you got.

-116 your total.

-That's close, wasn't it?

Said by Hamlet himself in the To Be Or Not To Be speech.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jim.

-Hello.

Oh, look at that! Bushy-tailed, bright-eyed, Jim.

It's like being in a Shakespearean seminar, isn't it? It's amazing.

That is a man who was rehearsing a show just yesterday.

-What was the show?

-Rehearsing School For Scandal, the Sheridan play.

-So, you've got all your lines learnt?

-More or less, yes.

Ohhh, more or less. Ohhhh!

Every director's nightmare, Jim, more or less.

-It's the less bits they're worried about.

-Definitely.

I've got a bit of a reputation for ad-libbing in shows, which is

deserved unfortunately but, yeah, it's not great.

I like the way he said "deserved".

LAUGHTER

He suddenly came over all Cartman. It was brilliant.

Now, Jim, there you are on 38, you mustn't score more

than 81 or we'll have to say goodbye to you and that would be a travesty.

We need from you a nice low-scoring word.

I was going to go for "slings and arrows" but I'm going to

go for, "He will come to her in yellow stockings." Twelfth Night.

"Yellow stockings," says Jim.

Here's your red line, nice and high.

Let's see if "yellow stockings" get you below that red line?

They certainly do, very well done, Jim.

Look at that, nine!

APPLAUSE

47 is your total, Jim.

Well played, Jim, very good answer.

-I'm one of the country's leading Twelfth Night scholars.

-Are you now?

-In that I did it for O-level.

-So did I. Yeah, yeah!

So did I! I was thinking, "Yes, I know that too."

-Ask me anything about it.

-Yeah, I remember that.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Now then, Catherine, there you are 100, you were the high-scorers.

You might get through if you can score 19 or less.

Catherine, what do you do, by the way?

-I'm a student at the University of St Andrews.

-St Andrews.

So none of you tempted to stay in Edinburgh? You wanted to get away.

It's important, otherwise the temptation is to go home

and get your washing done.

What do you get up to when you're not studying?

I love reading. But this isn't the best topic.

Not Shakespeare so much.

Which of these do you think?

I think I know the Macbeth one.

I think it's, "Out, out, brief stains!"

I'm not sure though. I'm going to go for that, "stains".

"Out, out, brief stains!" says Catherine.

OK. "Brief stains". There's your red line,

if you get below that with "stains" you're through to Round Two.

Let's see if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said "stains".

Oh, dear. Bad luck, I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

It takes your total up to 200.

-Not "stains", I'm afraid. Do you know?

-"Candle".

"Out, out, brief candle!" Yes. "Life is but a walking shadow."

Six points as well, so it would have seen you through if you'd know it.

-"O brave new"...?

-World! Brave New World, sorry.

-Yep.

That would have scored 69 points. "If"...?

BOTH: "If music be the food of love..."

We knew that, of course. Orsino.

"Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

"the appetite may sicken, and so die."

-"And so die".

-I was Orsino in the school play.

-Were you?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Wow.

-I ad-libbed a lot, though.

LAUGHTER

-Better at my Shakespeare.

-I had a reputation for...

-Was it "deserved"?

-"Deserved!"

I'm going to be honest with you.

And the last one there, "This royal throne of kings,

"this sceptred isle."

Yeah. That would have scored you 26.

Very well done to anyone who went all the way through that board,

-very impressive.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So at the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home,

our latest members of the 200 club, it's Catherine and Kirsten.

-"Horick" is so close to "Yorick".

-Hair's breadth. I know.

Well, we had to say goodbye to you, but we will see you again next time.

I look forward very much indeed, and I promise there'll be no more Shakespeare.

Thanks so much for playing, Catherine and Kirsten.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it is now time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain.

At the end of this round we'll have to say goodbye to another pair

in time for our head-to-head.

Dickie and Dave, welcome to Round Two.

Yeah, it's great.

Jim and Mark, very well done, our lowest-scoring pair there.

Very good ensemble play from the pair of you.

And Erin and Dave, a nice middling score from the pair of you

so very well done. Very best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for round two is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Ensemble Casts, Richard.

We're about to show you two photographs from films which

famously had ensemble casts.

One of the photographs is of The Magnificent Seven,

and one of the photographs is of Reservoir Dogs.

We need you to name any actor in either of the photographs, please.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So we're looking for the name of anyone in either of these pictures

and here are the two images.

OK.

There we are. Now, Mark.

This is about as bad as a round could possibly get for me.

I literally have not got a clue about any of them.

OK, I'm just going to...say a name. I'm really sorry, Jim.

Let's go with... I'm just going to say Clint Eastwood.

Clint Eastwood, says Mark. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Clint Eastwood.

Oh, bad luck, Mark.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

-scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Unlucky, Mark.

It's not a bad guess at all but, yeah, not in either of those photos.

-Thanks very much. Now then, Erin. Is this any better for you?

-No.

-That might be a relief for Jim and Mark there.

-Yeah.

I have no idea.

I'm just going to guess a name.

He's not even an actor but you never know.

I'm literally just going to go with the name...John Smith.

Oh, you're going to make up an actor as well!

Let's find out. Is John Smith in either of those pictures?

No. Bad luck. Oh, that's a lifeline, Jim and Mark.

I'm sorry, that's an incorrect answer.

That scores you 100 points. But you're in good company.

I thought this round would be easier than the Shakespeare round,

I'm going to be honest with you.

Thanks very much. Now, Dickie.

This, at long last, is going to land on fertile ground over there.

No.

LAUGHTER

Because it's not Carry On or James Bond.

I know one of the guys from Reservoir Dogs

but I just can't think of his name.

Which is probably the same as everyone else.

I'll give you a clue, it's not John Smith.

Ah, that's a game changer.

In that case... No, at the moment it could be anybody's game.

I'm really not sure, so I'm going to have to say Steve McQueen.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Steve McQueen.

Ah!

Listen to that sweet music.

38.

38 for Steve McQueen. Very well done, Dickie.

Yeah, that's how you guess, Dickie. Very well played.

And there he is in the bottom picture.

OK. Halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Just the two scores between the three of you.

Dickie and Dave on 38. Looking very strong.

Then it's up to 100, where we find Erin and Dave and Mark and Jim.

So, yes. Dave and Jim, it's between the pair of you.

Best of luck. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Dave.

We're looking for any cast member

featured in either of these photographs. Obviously you're going

to try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Look at that - Dickie's left you in a very strong position.

The high scorers jointly on 100, you're on 38.

61 or less gets you through.

This kind of plays right into my wheelhouse

cos they're both favourite films of mine.

I'm thinking I might have a shot at a pointless.

-Horst Buchholz.

-Horst Buchholz.

Horst Buchholz. Here comes your red line.

Let's see if Horst Buchholz can get you below that.

Let's see if it can get you a pointless answer,

that would be fantastic. Is it right, how many people said it?

It's right.

You're in the Head-to-Head.

And that scores you two!

That's a great answer, Dave.

I'm sorry it didn't net you a £250 bonus for the jackpot.

But it takes your total up to 40. Very well done.

Erin, if only you'd made up the name Horst Buchholz.

LAUGHTER

There he is in The Magnificent Seven.

Thanks, Richard. Dave.

Now, as I said, it's between you and Jim.

How well do you know either of these films?

The top film, not at all. The one on the bottom, I think I know a couple.

I'm going to go for James Coburn.

James Coburn, says Dave. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said James Coburn.

It's right.

14. Very well done indeed.

Well played, Dave. There he is, unmistakable figure of James Coburn.

Did you know Chris Evans bought James Coburn's car for £5.5 million?

-I do know. That's a car! What sort of car was it?

-A Mini.

It was a Ferrari, apparently.

At the time it was the most expensive car ever bought.

Thanks very much. Now, Jim, you have a target.

-I do.

-You also have, courtesy of Dave over there,

an indication of the kind of name we're looking for,

if you want to score under 14.

Might be tricky. I know a few names. I knew McQueen and Coburn.

The only other one I can name is Yul Brynner.

For Reservoir Dogs, I can pick out Tim Roth, Michael Madsen

and Quentin Tarantino. I'm going to hope that people have forgotten that

Quentin Tarantino is in his own film.

-So, let's say Quentin Tarantino.

-Quentin Tarantino.

Here's your red line.

13 or less is what you want.

Let's find out how many people said Quentin Tarantino.

It's right.

Still going down.

Still going down.

Oh, no! 15!

Oh, no!

Jim, I'm really sorry.

That's a great answer and I think very,

very well thought through as well.

You needed 14 to tie.

I'm afraid you got 15. That's so unfair.

Not unfair, it's just unfortunate.

-Deserved.

-115.

Deserved, oh!

That was so unlucky. Really well played.

The other two answers you could have given me -

-Tim Roth would have scored 18.

-OK.

-Michael Madsen...

-Oh, no, don't. Don't.

OK, I won't tell you.

Michael Madsen would have scored 16.

There's other names up there that you'll know

and if you got the guy in the shell suit you'd be laughing.

Let's go through both of the pictures.

We'll start with The Magnificent Seven.

We've had one of the best answers - Horst Buchholz.

You could also have Brad Dexter, would have scored you two.

There's Robert Vaughn.

Would have scored you 12. Still on British TV now, of course.

Charles Bronson, who would have scored you 14.

And Yul Brynner, he would have scored you 54 points.

No point going for Yul Brynner.

Well done if you got it at home. Much better than scoring 100.

The top one, there is a pointless answer in there.

He played crime boss Joe Cabot.

He's obscured there. Lawrence Tierney.

Very well done if you said him.

On your far right is another very good answer.

Also very well known as an author. Eddie Bunker.

He would have scored you one point.

Now, the man in the shell suit, Sean Penn's brother. Chris Penn.

Would have scored you eight points.

Steve Buscemi, he would have scored 15 points.

And Harvey Keitel, he would have scored you 21 points.

Very well done to anyone who got a pointless answer there.

-Well done to anyone who didn't get 100.

-Thanks, Richard.

So at the end of our second round, I'm afraid it's Jim and Mark.

Head-to-Head last time.

I know - an audible "Ahh" from the audience. We really enjoyed

having you on the show, it's been great fun and every time we've had

to ask you something, Jim, you've been priceless.

LAUGHTER

I could listen to Jim talking for days.

-Come back another time. Under an assumed name.

-I'll try my best.

Great to have you on the show, Jim and Mark, thanks for playing.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs it's now time for the Head-to-Head.

Congratulations, Dickie and Dave V, Erin and Dave H.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500.

Now we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that you're going to go head-to-head.

You are now allowed to confer and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for the jackpot.

Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the Head-to-Head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

We're going to give you the names of five Dan Brown novels

but we're only showing you the number of letters in each word.

-Can you tell us what the novels are? Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

OK, let's reveal our five Dan Brown novels, and here they are.

I'll read them one last time.

Dickie and Dave, you've played best throughout the show,

-so you get to go first.

-Right.

I'm hoping I'm counting these letters right.

I'm going to go for 9 and 5.

Deception Point.

Deception Point, say Dickie and Dave.

Deception Point. Now, Erin and Dave, he sounds like he knows, doesn't he?

-Yeah!

-Do you want to talk us through the other ones?

We'd like to but we can't! We only know the top one.

So, yeah, we've got no choice. The Da Vinci Code.

OK, Dickie and Dave said Deception Point. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

12 for Deception Point.

Erin and Dave H have gone for The Da Vinci Code. Let's see if

that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

41.

Very well done, Dickie and Dave.

-After one question you are up 1-0.

-Well played.

It's a thriller about a scientific discovery in the Arctic Circle.

Let's go through the rest of these. The next one down...

About a forgetful drummer.

LAUGHTER

The next one down...

And the bottom one, released in 2013...

So Digital Fortress best answer on the board.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Erin and Dave H, you get to answer this one first but you have to

win it to stay in the game, so best of luck. It concerns...

We're going to show you five picture clues to the titles

of Elvis Top 40 singles. We need you to give us

the title of the song these clues most closely represent.

OK, let's reveal out our five picture clues to Elvis songs,

and here they come.

OK. Erin and Dave H, you will go first.

WHISPERING

-OK.

-OK, we're going to go for E, Jailhouse Rock.

Jailhouse Rock. Now then.

Dickie and Dave V, can you talk us through that board?

Pretty much. We weren't sure on the first one, actually.

-The second one...

-Wooden Heart.

Blue Suede Shoes.

And Surrender, obviously, that one.

-So...what do you reckon?

-I say Wooden Heart.

-Yeah?

-Wooden Heart, please.

-OK, Wooden Heart, say Dickie and Dave V.

We have Jailhouse Rock versus Wooden Heart.

Erin and Dave H said Jailhouse Rock.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

50.

50 for Jailhouse Rock. Dickie and Dave V have gone for Wooden Heart.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

If this goes below 50 you are through...

Yes, you are! There we are, 45.

Not a lot in it but Dickie and Dave V, after only two questions,

you are through to the final.

Well played, gents. Let's fill in the rest of this board.

A, a very minor hit...

I thought it might score a few more than that.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, there we are. The pair leaving us at

the end of the Head-to-Head, I'm afraid it's Erin and Dave.

This is great news for us

because it means we get to see you again next time.

You'll come back, maybe you'll go even further. But it's been great

having you on the show. We look forward to seeing you next time.

Erin and Dave.

APPLAUSE

For Dickie and Dave V it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Dickie and Dave, you fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless Trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

which stands at £2,500.

So there you are.

Among the many trophies you will have to show for your 20 years

of friendship, you've now got a Pointless one to add that.

You've done so well. Really, really good answers. Horst Buchholz.

I'm sorry that didn't score zero for you but it did most of the way.

It shows you what wasting your life watching cowboys can do to you.

-And reading Dan Brown - Deception Point.

-I've only ever read one.

And I thought it was rubbish.

What would you like to see come up in this round?

You've been quite lucky - things have fallen pretty well for you.

Things have fallen in our lap.

Let the gods throw them as they may.

You kick this round off by choosing your category,

and here are your four options. They are...

There's one...sticks out to me.

I reckon Monty Python, Sporting Finals are going to be your...

I'm thinking Monty Python, to be honest.

So, my Belgium knowledge, I'll stand aside

so you can go ahead with those.

-Your waffle knowledge.

-That's right, yeah.

-Yeah, Monty Python, please.

-OK, Monty Python it is.

Let's take a look at your three options. Very different options.

We're looking for...

any cheese mentioned in the famous cheese shop sketch.

So, the original cheese shop sketch, any cheese mentioned in that.

It's hard to say "cheese shop sketch."

This is easy - any film directed by Terry Gilliam.

No short film, TV films, no documentaries, anything like that.

Or any country visited by Michael Palin in Around The World In 80 Days.

So any country he actually stops in.

By country we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN.

So, any cheese shop sketch - phew!

Any film directed by Terry Gilliam

or any Around The World in 80 Days country. Very best of luck, guys.

Thanks very much indeed.

You've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Remember, the answers you provide can come from

any of these categories, and how you spread them across the categories

is entirely up to you. They can all come from the same one or two

from one, one from another. Completely up to you. Are you ready?

-BOTH: Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Your time starts now.

OK, what I think I might do, Dave, is go off, have a nice cup

of Horlicks, and let you carry on with it because...

Brazil... Um...Time Bandits.

12 Monkeys.

I can't think of any other ones.

He did one about Don Quixote.

I've got a cheese as well - Yarg. I think we should go for that.

-Yarg?

-It's a... Trust me, it's...

-It is a cheese?

It is a cheese and it's in the sketch. I'm sure it's in the sketch.

-Right, OK.

-Um...

Just trying to think of some more films by Terry Gilliam.

Brazil, Time Bandits...oh, the one...the Arthurian one.

In New York.

Fisher King.

So, if we say Fisher King and Time Bandits and Yarg.

-You are so good.

-Ten seconds left.

-Yeah, we'll do that.

-OK.

-OK.

-OK, you're happy with those?

-Yes.

-Very well done.

We will stop the clock there. What are your three answers going to be?

We've got two answers from Films By Terry Gilliam - The Fisher King.

-And...Time Bandits.

-And Time Bandits.

And a cheese from the cheese shop sketch - it's not easy to say that!

-Yarg.

-Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think Yarg. If it's right I think that might be pointless.

OK, Yarg we will put last. Least likely to be pointless?

I'm thinking Time Bandits. I'm not even sure it's by Terry Gilliam now.

-It might be.

-Oh!

-We'll give it a go.

-I sounded really convincing, didn't I?

-You did! I fell for it.

We'll put Time Bandits first.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order

and here they are.

Very best of luck. Your first answer was Time Bandits.

Remember, only one of these answers has to be correct for you

to win that jackpot - £2,500.

Quite a nice jackpot. What would you do with your share of that, Dickie?

Well, me and my wife, hopefully, all being well,

buying our first home soon

and the kitchen needs a little bit of tweaking,

so we'd put some towards that and also there's a little charity

we support and we're going to give a little bit to them as well.

Very good. Dave, how about you?

Beer, heavy metal and women.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I can't believe you get a clap for that.

OK, very best of luck.

Your first answer was Time Bandits. Has to be correct

then it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

Let's find out, for £2,500, how many of our 100 people thought

Time Bandits was a Terry Gilliam film?

It's right.

If this goes all the way down to zero

you'll be leaving here with £2,500.

Six.

Of course it's a Terry Gilliam film. You start to doubt everything...

-I doubted myself.

-I know. Happens all the time.

-I mean, I don't know with you...

-All the time!

OK, not a pointless answer. Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was The Fisher King,

another Terry Gilliam film.

Let's find out if it's correct and if it's pointless.

For £2,500, how many people said The Fisher King?

Well, it's right. Your first answer took us all the way down to six.

Your second answer, The Fisher King, takes us down the teens

and into single figures. It passes six, down it goes...

You did it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's fantastic. Very well done.

Congratulations, Dickie and Dave. Fisher King was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £2,500.

That was great. Congratulations, guys, very well deserved.

It's been great fun having you on the show.

If we had to use your last answer, Yarg,

would have scored you 100 points.

-Not in the sketch, I'm afraid.

-Really?

-Yeah.

There's plenty of cheese that are, though. Let's start with those.

You could have had...

Limburger, Smoked Austrian, Boursin, Dorset Blue Vinny.

There's Emmental, Lancashire, Norwegian Jarlsberger,

Port Salut, Red Windsor, White Stilton and, of course,

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese.

All of those were pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the Terry Gilliam films.

Well done if you said any of those.

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Dickie and Dave,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

-to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.