Episode 14 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi there. My name is Nicole.

This is my dad, Graham, and we're from High Wycombe.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm James. This is my colleague, Glynis. We're from Northampton.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Sam. This is Martin, and we're friends

from the University Of Sheffield.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Louise. This is my sister, Fiona, and we're from Manchester.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

my trivia-toting brother from another mother,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

Hiya.

Ah, that's nice. You're my brother from another mother, too.

You really are.

Now, only one returning pair from last time, Martin and Sam,

who joined the 200 Club, didn't they? On '70s Number One Singles.

And Martin went to my old rival school down in Haywards Heath.

He went to Oathall.

So I took no pleasure in him joining the 200 Club whatsoever.

But hopefully see a little bit more of them this time.

And other than that, three entirely new pairs

for us to meet.

And enjoy.

Absolutely. Interesting thing I've just noticed,

three short-sleeved shirts today, 100% of them

being worn in the mod style with the button done up.

It's interesting, isn't it? I'm wearing no sleeves at all under this.

I've got the shirt front and I've sewed the cuffs into the jacket.

-Other than that...

-Yeah, yeah.

-Your usual style.

-There's no sleeve.

-No sleeve.

I cut my sleeve of tattoos... LAUGHTER

But that's why I don't wear sleeves at all because, otherwise,

I've wasted all that tattooing money.

-Your tattooing money?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-I've got a tattoo of the Topkapi Palace

in Istanbul all the way down here. Very beautiful, very ornate.

Wow. Wonderful.

Down this arm, it's a list of every single title Fulham have ever won.

AUDIENCE CHUCKLES

It's not a big tattoo. I've got some room.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, we've asked every question on Pointless to 100 people

before the show.

As ever, the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer,

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Daniel and Tony didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So, today's jackpot starts off at £2,250.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

OK. Now, remember,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated, so do what you can to make sure that is not you.

Our first category today is...

..Funny People.

Funny People.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

..Famous Comedians.

Famous Comedians, Richard.

On each pass, we will give you clues to the identities

of seven famous comics.

You just need to tell us who that comic is, please.

There are going to be 14 in all to guess at home, so very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. OK.

We are looking for the names of the comedians suggested by these clues.

And here's our first board of seven.

HE READS BOARD

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS BOARD

There we are. Seven clues to seven comedians.

Graham, warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Here from High Wycombe. What do you do, Graham?

-I'm retired.

-What did you do, Graham?

I was in the printing industry all my career.

Last 30 years as a company director,

but decided to retire and enjoy life more.

-But you're loving retirement though, are you?

-Absolutely.

What are you filling that with?

Play a lot of golf, we go travelling.

I like walking, bit of photography, learning to play the drums...

-Learning to play the drums?

-Yep.

Always had a sort of latent interest?

-I've always loved music...

-Yeah.

-..especially rock music.

How are you finding it?

Um, I'm only having my second lesson in a few days' time.

OK. Well, listen.

Graham, what about these comedians?

Do any of those suggest themselves to you?

Two or three fortunately do.

I think I'm going to take a slight punt and go for,

"Hosted The Golden Shot and Celebrity Squares,"

with Bob Monkhouse.

"Bob Monkhouse," says Graham.

Let's see if Bob Monkhouse is right.

If it is, let see how many people said it. Bob Monkhouse.

29.

29 for Bob Monkhouse.

Yeah, sold his first joke to another comic

at the age of 15, Bob Monkhouse.

Made his TV debut in 1948.

Thank you very much indeed. Now then, Glynis, welcome.

What do you do, Glynis?

I work for a lighting company and I sell energy lighting.

And what do you get up to in your spare time?

I've got an allotment that I really enjoy, so I grow lots of vegetables.

What veg do you grow? Do you have the same every year

-or do you vary it a bit?

-I do try and vary it a bit.

-Last year I had a go at corn, which was really successful.

-Ooh.

-I've grown herbs.

-Delicious eating it that fresh as well.

-Fresh, yeah.

-Yeah, amazing.

-Nothing like it.

-Yeah.

OK. Now, Glynis, what about this board of comedians?

Um...

There's a few I don't know, but I think I'm going to stay local

and I'm going to have the "Host of TV chat show Chatty Man",

and Alan Carr.

"Alan Carr," says Glynis.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Alan Carr.

It's righ... Sheesh. Shoosh.

82.

There you go. 82 for Alan Carr.

That is a big score, isn't it?

But as you say, a local boy to Northampton.

His dad was manager of Northampton Town FC.

-Indeed. Now, Martin.

-Hi.

-Martin, welcome back. Last time - Round Two.

-Yes.

-Oh, yes, of course, Beach Boys.

-Yeah.

-Twice.

Me and Sam went for...both went for Beach Boys and both got 100,

joined the 200 Club.

Is comedy better for you?

It is, but my only answer on that board, really, was Alan Carr,

and that's quite a shame.

Ah. Yes, that is a shame.

You're a chemist. You're studying chemistry, I mean.

-In your second year?

-Yeah, at the University of Sheffield.

-Enjoying it up there in Sheffield?

-Yeah, it's very nice.

-Very nice city.

-Good stuff. So, Martin...

..do you have a clue of any of the others?

I know someone that I think is in Never Mind The Buzzcocks,

but I'm not entirely sure if he's even a comedian,

but I'm just going to go for it.

-Noel Fielding.

-Noel Fi... Not sure if he's a comedian?

-No.

I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's on there, I don't know.

OK. Let's find out. Noel Fielding, is that right?

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Noel Fielding.

Absolutely right.

Very well done. 16, best score so far.

And yes, the excellent Noel Fielding most certainly is a comedian.

He is. If Noel Fielding ever got up early enough to watch Pointless,

-he'd be very upset about that.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now then, Fiona, welcome to Pointless.

-Great to have you here. What you do, Fiona?

-I'm a pharmacy manager.

A pharmacy manager.

So, do you do the dispensing or not?

I do the dispensing and I do all the bossing around as well.

-Bossing around, that's the important bit, the key bit.

-Obviously.

Yeah. What are your hobbies when you're not doing your pharcacing.

-I like film, I like watching films, I like reading as well.

-OK.

Although, I've just had a baby,

so I've not done much reading, to be honest.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-How long ago was your baby?

-It was seven months.

Lovely. Very good. OK, this board is all yours, Fiona,

so why not see if you can talk us through it?

I think I would have gone for Noel Fielding.

I knew that one for definite.

I think Barbara is Miranda Hart, and then Michael McIntyre.

Take Fat And Party, I'd guess at Peter Kay.

I'm going to take a punt and go for Miranda Hart for Not Going Out.

OK. Not Going Out, Barbara the cleaner. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Miranda Hart.

It's right.

Good answer. 18. Second-best score of the round. Well done, Fiona.

Well played, Fiona. The brilliant Miranda Hart

and the brilliant Not Going Out.

You were right about Michael McIntyre, too.

Would have scored slightly fewer points as well.

It would have scored you 14.

Let's go down the bottom first.

This song better known as

Let's Do It.

Victoria Wood.

The wonderful Victoria Wood, yeah.

Would have scored you 9 points,

I think cos people wouldn't recognise

that song title.

And this last one is not Peter Kay.

I'm sure he wouldn't take offence.

But it is a pointless answer

and it's Roy Chubby Brown.

Very well done if you'd said that at home.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's see those scores as they stand.

16, the best score of that pass, Martin. Very well done.

Put's you and Sam in pole position.

Then up to 18 where we find Fiona and Louise.

Up to 29 where we find Graham and Nicole then.

Up to 82, Glynis and James. Quite a long way ahead.

James, are you comfortable in this round?

-Are you happy with this category?

-I really wish I had that board.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-You might do better with the next board,

so let's hope so. Let's hope you score low enough

to keep yourselves in the game. We're coming back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Let's put seven more clues to comedians up on the board.

And here they are.

-We've got...

-HE READS BOARD

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS BOARD

Remember, we're looking for the names of comedians

suggested by these clues. And Louise, you're going to try

and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Louise, welcome.

-Thank you.

-And what do you do?

-I'm a nurse,

-but I'm currently on maternity leave as well.

-OK.

What do you like getting up to when you're not nursing, Louise?

Like I say, I've just had a baby, so... And we're off together,

so we do a lot of lunches and taking the babies swimming.

Very good indeed.

And how nice, they've got a cousin as well.

They've each got a cousin to play with.

Good stuff. OK, so, there you are on 18.

The high scorers, as I say, James and Glynis on 82,

so 63 or less is your goal.

What do you think?

I think...female ventriloquist

-is Nina Conti.

-"Nina Conti," says Louise.

Nina Conti. There's your red line.

If you can get below that with Nina Conti, you are in Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Nina Conti.

It's right.

You're in Round Two. Very well done.

Nine.

27 is your total. Well done, Louise.

Terrific answer, Louise. Yeah, Nina Conti, daughter of Tom Conti.

She's got a first-class philosophy degree.

-Hmm.

-OK.

-Now, Sam. Sam, welcome back.

-Thank you very much.

Remind us what you do, Sam.

I'm a economics student.

That's right. And you do a couple of other jobs on the side, don't you?

Yeah, I work at Leicester Tigers, in the club store.

I've worked there for four years now.

So, it's really good. You get to watch some of the matches,

meet some of the players.

So, I've learnt a lot about rugby in the last four years.

I was a complete novice when I started there.

Good stuff. Now, how do you feel about this board?

I know three of them.

I think I'm going to go with the...

"Essex-born ex-husband of pop star Katy Perry," Russell Brand.

"Russell Brand," says Sam.

Well, you want to score 65 or less to get through to the next round.

That's what that looks like. There's your red line.

Let's see if Russell Brand is right

and if you can get below that red line with him.

It's right.

And you're through. Ooh, just.

58.

74 is your total. Very well done.

Yeah, hefty score for Russell Brand.

They got married in 2010 and split up in 2012.

Who would have thought? LAUGHTER

-Who would have thought, yeah.

-Had longevity stamped all over it.

-Yeah.

Now, James.

James, welcome to the show. How do you and Glynis know each other?

We work for an energy lighting company together.

We both work in the sales department.

Right. So, you muck about, basically, is what you're saying.

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

A lot of work getting done there.

-I mean, I'm sure you work you work very efficiently.

-I'll say, yes.

Yes. And what do you like getting up to when you're not working there?

I do like to play cricket quite a lot.

And I do like to play football as well.

Also like to go and see some musicals now and again as well.

OK. Well, listen, there you are on 82. Still the high scorers.

-We need a low score from you, James.

-I know.

How does that board look? Think you can find a nice, low score there?

I don't think I'm going to be able to.

I actually don't know any of them, so let's just go crazy

and go for, "Live shows included the Mum Wants A Bungalow tour."

I'm guessing that might be Peter Kay,

so I'll go for Peter Kay on that one.

You're going to say Peter Kay. Nicole's smiling at that.

Peter Kay. Well, no red line for you, James,

as you are the high scorers,

but let's see if Peter Kay is right and how many people said Peter Kay.

It's absolutely right, James, what a good guess.

And I have a feeling that was Nicole's answer as well.

18.

18 takes your total up to a nice round 100, James.

Yeah, his first ever gig was at a competition in Manchester

and he won it. And second place was Johnny Vegas. Same gig.

Interesting.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Nicole.

-Nicole, welcome to the show.

-Hello.

Here you are, with your dad, from High Wycombe. What do you do?

I'm a business management student at the University Of Surrey.

-OK. How long have you done that for?

-I've been there two years,

but I'm currently on my placement year working,

and then I'm back to my final year afterwards.

I see, OK. Do you know what you're going to do after that?

The dream would be marketing in the entertainment world,

but marketing anywhere would be fantastic. I love it.

OK. Good stuff. Well, listen, there you are on 29.

If you can score 70 or less, you are in the next round.

So...

I would have preferred the other board.

I know that Geraldine Granger was played by Dawn French,

but I'm not sure whether or not to have a guess

and go Sue Perkins for the top.

But I don't know if Dawn French is going to be lower than 70,

so...

I'm going to take the risk. I'll say Sue Perkins.

-Sue Perkins for the top one?

-Yes.

-OK, Sue Perkins.

Let's see if that's right and if so, how many of our 100 people said it.

There's your red line. Get below that with Sue Perkins

and you are through to Round Two.

-It's right.

-Ooh!

And you're through. Very well done indeed, Nicole. Good risk to take.

12.

Good answer. 41 is your total. You are through to Round Two.

Very good answer. Would have been very exciting if you had gone for

Dawn French cos she would have scored you exactly 70 points.

You'd be through with 1 point to spare.

Now, "Regularly appeared with Roy Barraclough," is Les Dawson.

Scored you 20. And do you know this last one?

He was in a US series very briefly, with Minnie Driver as well.

-It's Eddie Izzard.

-Oh, really?

-Yes.

And 2 points, so the best answer up there.

Very well done if you'd said that.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 100,

I'm afraid, James and Glynis, it is you.

Oh, dear. Nothing wrong with your answers,

they were just high scorers.

The good news is, we get to see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much. James and Glynis,

-thanks very much for playing.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye

to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, Fiona and Louise, very well done.

Our lowest-scoring pair in that round.

Great performance in your first-ever Pointless round.

Then up to Nicole and Graham. Again, nice performing there.

And Sam and Martin, out returning pair...

Phew, a little bit...little bit lucky there.

But still, we wipe the slate clean.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is British Geography.

British Geography. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many UK cities

containing the letters S, E and T

as they could.

S, E and T. Richard.

We are looking for the name of any UK city that includes all three

of those letters in whatever order.

It's got to include an S, an E and a T.

There are 13 UK cities containing those three letters.

See, during the round,

if you can get as many of those as possible while at home.

So, any of those cities, please. Very best of luck.

OK. Thanks very much indeed.

Graham.

Always tough being the first person to answer

-in one of these sorts of rounds...

-Hmm.

-..but...

I can think of a few. I'm going to go for a city I have been to...

At least I think it's a city. ..and go for...

Chesterfield.

Chesterfield, let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh, I'm sorry, Graham.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

It's got all the letters, but Chesterfield is a nice town

in Derbyshire, I'm afraid, not a city.

Thanks very much. Now, Sam.

Yes. I am going to stick true to my home town and...

-I hope it's a home city.

-Home city, of course, and not a home town.

And hopefully, it's scores a little bit lower

as the letters are a little bit rearranged,

and say Leicester.

"Leicester," says Sam. Let's see if Leicester is right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is absolutely right.

29.

Yes. One of the oldest cities in the UK, Leicester.

It's also got the largest naturally ventilated building in Europe.

Do you know where that is?

-No idea.

-It's at De Montfort University.

-Oh, wow.

-Is that where you go?

-Naturally ventilated?

-Naturally ventilated. Yes.

-What, it's just got windows?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Yes. No, it's got win... It's got openable windows.

Oh, imagine that!

Openable windows and a couple of doors maybe.

-Doors that you can wedge open.

-And maybe any...some sort of...

I don't know. ..vents and things you can probably open.

Oh, it's got no roof either.

-Oh-ha-ha, that is brilliant.

-Yes.

-That is naturally...

-Or walls. When I think about it...

Is it a building?

LAUGHTER

Do you think they just go through the Guinness book of world records

-just thinking, hmm, we can do this.

-What could we do?

Give us a great fact about Leicester.

Leicester is the...

One of the most multicultural cities in the UK.

I'm going to go with that.

-OK.

-Good.

-That's rather lovely.

-Well done.

Well done. Brilliant. Well done, Leicester.

OK. Now, Louise.

I can think of quite a few places but I'm not entirely confident

whether they're cities or not.

So I'm going to play it very, very safe

and say my home city of Manchester.

"Manchester," says Louise. Let see if that is right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Manchester.

Well, it beats our highest score of 100.

73.

Literally everyone is just saying where they live.

-That's a very different quiz show, isn't it?

-Hmm.

Say Round One, "Where Do You Live?"

Round Two, "What's Your Mum's Name?"

ALL LAUGH

Actually, you know what, not a bad idea pitching that quiz show

and just getting people's bank details out of them.

-Not a bad idea.

-Round One - Mother's Maiden Name.

Round Two - Memorable Address.

-Yeah. First Car - Round Three.

-It's a very good idea, isn't it?

-Yeah.

At the end, you don't win anything, we just clear out your bank account.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look and see what everyone has got in their bank.

29 was best score of that pass. Well done, Sam and Martin.

Up to 73 where we find Louise and Fiona.

Then up to 100 where we find Graham and Nicole.

So, Nicole, it's in your hands...

-Oh, dear.

-..I would say. Yes.

Just get thinking of cities with S, Es and Ts in them

and you'll be fine. Best of luck with that.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Fiona...

HE READS BOARD

Not very good at geography at all,

but I'm just going to play it safe and just go for Chester.

"Chester," says Fiona. Sounds good. There's your red line.

If you can get below that, you're definitely in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Chester.

It's right.

47 for Chester.

120 is your total.

Yeah, it's a good answer. Leaves you slightly in jeopardy, though.

Chester Racecourse is Britain's most continuously used sporting venue.

Been used since 1539 continuously.

-Since 1539?

-Mm-hm.

Brilliant. Racing or have they done all sorts of events there?

Well, they've done all sorts of events like Madness play

-and stuff like that these days...

-Oh, I see.

Peter Andre will come in play, but by and large, it's known for...

-Well, that's an event!

-It is.

Peter Andre has played there every year since 1539.

EVERYONE LAUGHS

Thanks, Richard. Now, Martin, you are on 29.

The high scorers are now Fiona and Louise on 120.

So, 90 or less is what you have to score.

To be safe, to get through, to get below the 90 mark,

I'm going to go for New Castle.

"New Castle," says Martin. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said New Castle.

It's right and you are through. Very well done.

37.

66 is your total, Martin. Well done.

Yeah, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, of course, adding another T

and another E to the name as if they didn't have enough already.

-Yeah, it almost becomes embarrassing, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

Thanks very much, indeed, Richard. Now, OK.

So, Nicole, the moment of truth. You have to score 19 or less.

I think you can do that.

I'm not so sure.

I'm going to take another risk.

And I think I'm going to go with...

-Lancaster.

-"Lancaster," says Nicole.

There is your red line. Get below that with Lancaster,

you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lancaster.

It's right.

You've done it! Look at that! Nine for Lancaster.

Very well done, indeed. 109 is your total. You are in the head-to-head.

That's brilliant, Nicole. Very well played.

Yeah, it is the City of Lancaster...

Actually, the City of Lancaster incorporates Lancaster,

also Morecambe is in the City of Lancaster.

It's one of those things. Let's take a look at all the answers.

No pointless answers here at all, but as I say, there's 13 and all.

The best three answers you could have had - Westminster.

Would've scored you three points.

You would have got 8 points for Stoke on Trent, for Chichester.

You would have got 13 points for Gloucester.

Would also have been a very good answer.

You would have got 14 for Winchester, Preston and Belfast.

You would've got 18 for Worcester and then the top three...

We've heard all three of them.

Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Chester and Manchester.

-And there are your 13.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 120,

I'm afraid, Fiona and Louise, it is you.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers.

Manchester just a big high score there,

as I think you suspected it might be,

but listen, we will see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much, indeed,

but in the meantime, thanks very much, Fiona and Louise.

Thank you.

But for Martin and Sam and Nicole and Graham,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Martin and Sam, Nicole and Graham.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,250.

So, now we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that you are going to go head-to-head.

The difference is, you're now allowed to confer

before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

I think this is going to be a very exciting head-to-head.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play it.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

HE READS BOARD TWICE

Richard.

Five clues now relating to Guy Fawkes and the Gunpowder Plot.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

Thanks very much. OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

HE READS BOARD

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS BOARD

Now, Martin and Sam, you played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We're going to risk it a little bit and go for the century

and say the 15th century.

"The 15th century," say Martin and Sam.

The 15th century. Now, Nicole and Graham, the board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

-We know...

-The date, obviously, 5th of November.

Penny for the Guy's the amount of money.

-Do you know the ringleader?

-Guido Fawkes.

The building underneath which the barrels were planted

was the Houses of Parliament.

So, which do you think?

I'll let you choose.

Guido Fawkes ringleader of the Gunpowder Plot.

OK, Guido Fawkes, you're going to go with.

So, Martin and Sam said the 15th century.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said the 15tn century.

No!

Not the 15th century, which means Nicole and Graham,

you merely have to be correct with Guido Fawkes

and you will win this point.

Let's find out if that is right.

No! It's not.

Which means, after one question, it is nil-nil. Richard.

What were you thinking, Nicole?

-Don't know.

-It wasn't Guy Fawkes.

Guy Fawkes was just... Was the guy who was guarding the gunpowder.

Robert Catesby was the leader of the Gunpowder Plot.

Would have scored 6. I think a lot of our 100 people said Guy Fawkes.

And It wasn't the 15th century. It was the 17th century.

It was 1605.

Would have scored you 27.

So, any of these easy ones would have won the point.

Obviously, it's November 5th.

93 people remembered that.

The amount of money was a penny, as you say.

Would've scored 80. And the building was the Houses of Parliament,

and that would have scored you 63. That's a good start.

Thanks very much. Isn't it? Thanks very much.

OK, so, here comes your second question.

Best of luck. It concerns...

-HE READS BOARD TWICE

-Richard.

We're going to show you the titles of five Michael Jackson

UK Top 40 singles now,

but we're just going to show you the number of letters

in each word of that title.

Can you work out which songs we're referring to?

OK, let's reveal our five singles. And here they are. We have...

HE READS BOARD TWICE

Now, Nicole and Graham, you will go first this time.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We will go 3, 2, 3, 6 - Man In The Mirror.

Man In The Mirror. OK. Now, Martin and Sam, the board is all yours.

-I think 4, 2 is Beat It.

-Yeah.

-I think 8 is Thriller. I think...

-What...what...

-I'm not sure about the other two.

-Go for 4, 2.

-OK, we'll go for 4, 2 - Beat it.

OK, you're going to say, "Beat It."

So, we have Man In The Mirror and we have Beat It.

Nicole and Graham said Man In The Mirror.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right.

11!

11 for Man In The Mirror.

Martin and Sam have gone for Beat It - 4, 2.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many people said that.

So, we have an early result after two questions,

Nicole and Graham, you are up 1-nil.

Well played. You're right about Thriller,

but it would have scored you too many points. That would've scored you 57.

The one beneath that would have won you the point. It's Liberian Girl.

Would have scored you four and the second one is the best answer there.

It was his first number one single. One day In Your Life.

It would have scored you one point.

-Very well done if you got that one at home.

-Thanks very much, indeed.

So, here comes your third question.

Martin and Sam, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

OK, it concerns...

-HE READS BOARD TWICE

-Richard.

I'm going to show you five clues now to facts

about the film director Quentin Tarantino.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

HE READS BOARD

I'll read them all one last time.

HE READS BOARD

Martin and Sam will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We are going to go for the bottom one,

and we believe that that is Uma Thurman.

"Uma Thurman," say Martin and Sam. Uma Thurman.

Now, Nicole and Graham, do you fancy talking us through...

-As much of the board as you can?

-Yeah, not our best subject.

I haven't seen many Tarantino films, I must confess.

-Don't think you have either.

-No.

We're going to take a guess. Go 1960s decade he was born.

The 1960s.

OK, "The 1960s," you're saying.

So, Martin and Sam have said Uma Thurman was his muse.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Uma Thurman.

It's right.

30.

Now, Nicole and Graham, you've said the decade in which he was born

was the 1960s. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Oh, it's right.

32.

Well done, Martin and Sam, back in the game.

After three questions, it's one all.

Yeah, born in 1963. Nearly got you through to that final.

The top answer would have got you through to the final.

Received the Oscar for Pulp Fiction. Would have scored 25.

-The character he played was Mr Brown.

-Mr Brown.

Yep, would have scored three.

And he was a guest director on Sin City.

And that would have scored you four points.

So, Mr Brown, the best answer there. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much, indeed. OK, so here comes your fourth question.

This, let's hope, is the decider. We will have a winner after this.

Whoever wins will be going through to the final

and playing for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

It concerns...

HE READS BOARD TWICE

Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five players now

English and German who were on the field

at the beginning of the 1966 World Cup final,

but we've missed out alternate letters from their names.

Can you fill in those gaps? Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our players and here they come.

HE READS BOARD

I will read those all one last time.

HE READS BOARD

Now, Nicole and Graham, you will go first.

I've got no idea.

Being the age I am, I think I know probably all of them,

although one I'm not quite certain.

Take a punt.

The best answer, which I think is Willie Schulz, number two.

OK, Willie Schulz, Willie Schulz.

Now, Martin and Sam, the board is yours.

-OK.

-We know the top one is Bobby Moore.

-Yeah.

And the middle one is Franz Beckenbauer.

I think Willie Schulz would be quite low,

-so which should we go for? The bottom one?

-Yeah. We'll go for...

-BOTH: Alan Ball.

-"Alan Ball," say Martin and Sam. Alan Ball.

So, we have Willie Schulz and Alan Ball.

Now, Nicole and Graham said Willie Schulz. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done. Look at that. Three.

Great answer there, Nicole and Graham.

So, that's what you've got to beat with Alan Ball, Martin and Sam.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

41.

Well, we have our result, eventually. Very well done.

After four questions, Nicole and Graham,

you are through to the final. 2-1.

Well played, Graham. Couldn't beat Willie Schulz there.

It's the best answer on the board, as you would imagine.

Bobby Moore at the top would have scored too many points.

Would have scored 63.

The next best answer would have been Franz Beckenbauer.

He would have scored you 19.

And Nobby Stiles is the other one, and he's another big scorer.

He would have scored you 58. Almost as many as Bobby Moore.

Thanks for a much, indeed, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, is Martin and Sam. Well, what a performance.

What a turnaround we've had from you in this last show.

Round Two, last time. This time, low-scoring all the way through

and as our golden couple, as I say, but, I'm afraid,

this is where we have to say goodbye.

It's been great having you on the show. Thanks so much for playing.

-Thanks for having us.

-Martin and Sam.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

But for Nicole and Graham, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Nicole and Graham,

you fought off all of the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,250.

Well, I tell you what, Graham,

-all I can say is thank goodness for Willie Schulz.

-Absolutely.

Oh, it was all beginning to look like it was going to be Chesterfield

all over again and again and again. And Guido Fawkes...

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, but no.

Willie Schulz very well done in the nick of time. So here you are.

As always, you get to choose your category.

There are four options for you to choose from.

Let's find out what they are.

Today, we've got...

HE READS BOARD

We've never been to New Zealand, so that would be no good.

-Do you read any American crime?

-Not regularly.

Looks like it's veteran singer-songwriters.

-I think it will be.

-Yeah, we'll go with that one.

OK, veteran singer-songwriters. Rich.

OK, we're looking for any studio albums

released by any of the following three people, please.

We're looking for any Leonard Cohen albums,

we are looking for any Van Morrison albums

or we're looking for any Bob Dylan albums.

So, these are original studio recordings.

So, not compilations, anything like that.

Just any album released by those three

that reached the UK Top 40, please.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed.

OK, now as ever,

you got up to a minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-BOTH: Yeah.

OK. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Right, well, Van Morrison I know Astral Weeks.

-Astral Weeks.

-The only one I can think of. Bob Dylan... Freewheelin'.

-Freewheelin'?

Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. And Nashville Skyline.

-Nashville Skyline.

-Now I start to struggle.

Leonard Cohen had a bit of a famous song called Zhan,

-but I don't know if it was the name of the...

-Sorry, let me recap.

-Astral Weeks.

-Astral Weeks.

-Freewheelin'.

Freewheelin' for Bob Dylan and... Nashville Skyline.

Nashville Skyline. Any others? I don't know any.

I'm struggling here.

We've got three at least.

-I think we'll have to go with that.

-Oh... OK.

-No? Can you think of anything else?

-No.

-We'll go with that.

-Yeah.

-OK, you're happy to stop the clock?

-We'll go with that.

-OK, we shall stop the clock.

And remind me what those three answers are.

-Van Morrison...

-Astral Weeks.

-Astral Weeks.

-Bob Dylan...

-Fr... No.

-Freewheelin'.

-Yep.

-Freewheelin'.

Freewheelin' Bob Dylan and Nashville Skyline.

Nashville Skyline, also Bob Dylan. OK, of those three,

which do you think is your best crack at a pointless answer?

-Astral Weeks.

-Astral Weeks, we'll put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Nashville Skyline.

Nashville Skyline. And Freewheelin' in the middle.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order.

And here they are.

-We have...

-HE READS BOARD

Well, very best of luck. Your first answer was Nashville Skyline.

Now, let's imagine one of these answers is pointless.

What would you do with your jackpot winnings? Nicole?

I'd like to do a little bit of travelling after a finish uni

with some of my best mates. And...

Yeah, just try and see a little bit

before going into the world of work afterwards, so...

OK, Graham, how about you?

Well, it's my 48th wedding anniversary a bit later in the year,

so I dare say it will go towards that.

Well, congratulations.

Let's hope one of these answers wins that jackpot for you.

Nashville Skyline was your least confident shot

at a pointless answer, but remember only one of these

has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

Let's see if that's right, Nashville Skyline as a Bob Dylan album.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

All it has to do now is go down to zero.

If it does that, you will leave the £2,250.

Still going down through single digits...

You've done it! Look at that!

Very well done, indeed.

Fantastic, Nashville Skyline!

-I'm amazed.

-Brilliant. That's fantastic.

-Well done.

-I can't believe it.

THEY LAUGH INCREDULOUSLY

Wow. Two very surprised people over there.

But many, many congratulations.

Your first answer, Nashville Skyline, was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,250.

That's brilliant and what a team. Our great father-daughter team.

Nicole, you carried the first half of the show.

Graham stepped in for the second half of the show.

The two of you, an amazing team, won the jackpot.

Freewheelin' Bob Dylan - also a pointless answer.

Astral Weeks is a Van Morrison album,

but never been a Top 40 hit, unbelievably.

But so, it would have been incorrect. But like you care

cos you've got two pointless answers already.

Now, I know some of these questions are absolute dream categories

people have been waiting for a while,

so I'll go through the pointless answers in all the different ones.

Let's start with Leonard Cohen. Dear Heather was a pointless answer.

His biggest hit album in the UK Songs From A Room.

That was up pointless answer. His follow-up to that,

Songs of Love and Hate. 10 New Songs was a pointless answer.

Also could have had Death Of A Ladies' Man.

New Skin For The Old Ceremony and The Future.

Those are the pointless answers there.

Let's take a look at Van Morrison.

Days Like This, Down The Road, Hymn's To The Silence,

The Healing Game, in fact, every album he's released

apart from Moondance, Avalon Sunset and Enlightenment,

every other Top 40 hit was a pointless answer.

So, if you said another one, you would have won the money. Well done.

And Bob Dylan, there's so many pointless answers here,

including some very big albums.

Bringing It All Back Home was pointless.

Highway 61 Revisited, The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan,

there you go, The Times They Are A-Changin'.

In fact, the only ones that scored any points were

Blood On The Tracks, perhaps, unsurprisingly.

Desire, Blonde On Blonde, Together Through Life, Oh Mercy

and Modern Times. Everything else was pointless. Congratulations.

What a wonderful team you were, and a well-deserved jackpot.

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much, indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Nicole

and Graham, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,250. Very well done.

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.