Episode 15 Pointless

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Glynis, this is my colleague James,

we work together and we're from Northampton.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name's Fiona, this is Louise

and we're sisters from Manchester.

-Couple number three...

-Hi, my name's Kirt and this is my friend Stephen

and we're from Blackburn and Chester.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name's David and this is my girlfriend Sarah

and we're from Exeter.

And these are today's contestants.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

if brains are sexy then he's Gisele Bundchen, it's my Pointless friend,

-it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

-Hi.

-Hey.

-What ya doin'?

-Whatcha...?

I dunno, just doin' a show.

Just doin' a quizzy show.

Are you well?

-Yeah, I am... Something weird's happened with this ear.

-Oh, really?

Some... I think I've got something in there, some water or something.

-Like swimming-pool ear.

-Eh? No, I did hear that.

Yes, like swimming-pool ear.

-But the best thing in the world is when it...

-When the water comes out.

-Ohhh...!

-It's going to be... I feel like...

It's like the beginning of Captain Corelli's Mandolin, isn't it?

Where the guy's got a pea in his ear.

If your waters break at any point during the show, let us know.

-I will be sure to let everyone know.

-That would be great.

Two returning pairs, Glynis and James on podium one,

who were knocked out in the First Round last time

so we need to have a bit more from them this time,

and on podium two, Fiona and Louise, who were knocked out in Round Two

so no-one here has yet been through to a head-to-head

so it will be virgin territory when we reach it.

I worry that people might have problems with Round One.

They should be all right.

He lost sleep over this last night, apparently.

I said, "How are you?" He said, "Oh, all right,

"Just worried about Round One all night." Couldn't sleep.

-And you said, "Eh? What?"

-I said...

-LAUGHTER

-All I heard was...

IMITATES GARBLED SOUND

Anyway, thank you very much indeed.

Now, all our questions, as usual,

have been asked to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are on the hunt for those all-important

pointless answers, answers none of our 100 people gave.

Each time you find one, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Nicole and Graham won the jackpot last time

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated, that's all you have to remember,

so do what you can to make sure it's not you.

Our category for Round One today is...

Sounds fine so far. Film Franchises. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard...

-Yeah, not like subtitles on foreign films.

-Phew.

We're going to give you the titles of five very, very famous film franchises,

and we need you to tell us the subtitles of any of the films

in those franchises, please.

So, they all start with these, but they all have subtitles, as well.

So, any of the subtitles of the five film franchises

you're about to see - good luck.

OK, so as Richard has just said, we're going to put

five film franchises up on the board, they will stay up there

for the whole round, so they won't change halfway -

you're stuck with those five.

Very best of luck - here are those five franchises.

So we are after the subtitles of those films.

-Glynis, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Now then, you and James,

-we discovered, work in an office together in Northampton.

-Yes.

Remind us what that office is.

We sell LED lighting, indoor and outdoor, all colours.

All colours. Is it an easy sell?

Yes, they sell themselves, cos they're fantastic.

And very, very low wattage. Practically...

-No, high wattage.

-Are they high wattage?

-Yeah, some of them.

As everyone will have gathered I know nothing about electricity,

so I was imagining low wattage, as why they're so cheap.

Glynis, help me out here.

They're very cost-effective to run.

-They look good.

-Oh, don't they!

-Yeah, they do.

What are they low in? That's what Xander's looking for.

-Yeah, they're low in wattage...

-I know nothing.

-..with high output of the wattage.

-Oh, so they suck up very few watts...

-Yeah.

-..and they splat out lots.

-So a seven watt would be the equivalent to a 50 watt halogen.

-You are kidding me!

-Shut up...?!

-Not even...!

-It's unbelievable.

-It's the future.

-Woo! Ah-ha-ha...!

-That's amazing.

-That is unbelievable.

Are these LEDs we have around here?

What do you make of our lighting, Glynis?

-I'll send you a catalogue.

-LAUGHTER

-Bit affronted by that.

-A little bit.

OK, anyway, let's put it behind us, for now,

and talk about film franchises, Glynis.

Right.

I'm not overly confident on a lot of those.

I've seen all of them, but...

Without wanting to go for the obvious, James,

um, I'm going to go Harry Potter and...

The Philosopher's Stone.

Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone, says Glynis.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

That's low, I was bracing myself for a higher result there.

Well, when there's lots of answers, quite often even the highest score

is fairly low. Yes, the first film in the Harry Potter film franchise.

It was called Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone in the States.

They thought Philosopher's Stone was a bit intellectual.

-It would upset them.

-A little bit, yeah.

-Yeah. OK, now, Louise. Welcome back. Round Two last time?

-Yes.

-What was the question?

-It was UK cities containing letters SET.

-Ah, yes, we had Manchester, didn't we?

-Yes!

And Chester.

-The Chester did for you.

-We stayed locally.

-You did.

Nothing wrong with that, as did Glynis,

that's what saw Glynis out in Round One.

Anyway, today, Louise, it's a new day, it's a new show.

-You've got to be hoping to go further than Round Two.

-Yep.

Are you happy with this as a board?

I thought film would be one of our strong points

but I'm really struggling to remember the wording

-of the subtitles.

-Ah, yes.

So the one I'm going to go for is, Police Academy: Mission To Moscow.

Mission To Moscow. OK, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Police Academy: Mission To Moscow.

It's right.

Could be a good answer.

Well, you passed 44 a long way back.

That was my answer, as well, Louise.

I don't know what it is about that that sticks in the mind.

It was the seventh Police Academy movie.

Now then, Kirt. Welcome to the show.

I don't think I've seen Kirt spelt with an "I" before.

With an "I"... No, it's actually short for Kirtie.

That's my... My mum's from south India.

I see, I see. Good. Now, what do you do, Kirt?

I work for Hult International Business School as a programme manager.

Now, what is Hult?

It offers an American degree here in London,

and I do a lot of the event management side of things.

I see, and do you coordinate with American universities?

We have bases in America, in the Middle East, in Asia.

Around the world. Very global.

Does that involve a lot of travel for you?

Yeah, I get to go between

Blackburn, Manchester, Preston...

-LAUGHTER

-..London, all around the UK.

-Kirt, Film Franchises...

-Yeah.

I'm a big Harry Potter fan, so it's really difficult for me

not to look past that and play it safe.

I think I know a couple of the others, but I'm going to stick with

Harry Potter and...try my luck with

one that people won't necessarily have gone for.

I'll go for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince.

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Well, 44 is our high score, and the high Harry Potter score.

You've passed that...

Yeah, that's the sixth film that instalment, so good one to go for.

The Great Hall in that could fit 22 double-decker buses in it,

it's just a set, and it could fit that many - 90 tonnes of plaster.

-Cor!

-Big, innit?

-Yeah.

Presumably they had to store that between shooting the films?

No, they used it as a bus garage instead.

LAUGHTER

Excellent.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, so now, David, welcome.

A warm welcome.

What do you do, David?

I am an administrator for a tennis centre at Exeter University.

That's quite fun.

-Do you...?

-Yeah.

You're not jumping up and down about that. Do you play tennis?

-No. I don't.

-There's a thing.

Which makes quite a big issue.

If you played tennis, you might have answered that first question -

-"That's quite fun..."

-With a bit more excitement, yeah.

OK, but what sort of administration do you do?

It's basically... I organise all the coaches and all of the players

in terms of court bookings and things like that,

so I sort them out and facilitate them to play tennis.

But, obviously, when it's the end of the day, you hare off

to do something else. So, what things do you like to do?

-Surfing takes up pretty much most of my time.

-And you're from Devon?

-Yep.

-So, you haven't far to travel? Fantastic.

-Nice surf after work, it's great.

-Excellent.

Now then, David. What do you make of these Film Franchises?

Yes, I know them all.

-The subtitles are a little bit more challenging.

-It is.

But...I think I will go with a Pirates Of The Caribbean one

and go On Stranger Tides.

Stranger Tides.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said On Stranger Tides.

Well, it's right, five is our lowest score so far, 44 our high.

You've passed that, you've passed 24...

A lot of fours in this pass, but very well done...

The fourth film in the series, good answer, David.

-I'm very happy everyone seems to be coping with this round remarkably well.

-Good.

I like the Pirates Of The Caribbean films. They're very good.

When your kids are a couple of years older, Xan, they'll love 'em.

Hmm. I haven't yet seen them. Is that terrible?

Or no, maybe not, lots to look forward to.

-Exactly.

-There we are. Good.

-That's assuming you keep your hearing.

-LAUGHTER

-Yes, yeah. Thanks very much indeed.

OK, let's have a look at those scores as we're halfway through.

Well done, Louise, very good indeed.

That helps you out a lot there, Fiona. Let's hope...

Have you got some good answers?

Well, if you have, you should be sure of a place in the next round.

Yeah, James, we need a great answer from you,

so best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Sarah, we're looking for the subtitles of these Film Franchises.

Sarah, what do you do?

I'm a researcher at the University of Exeter.

Excellent. So you're both sort of involved in the university there.

Yeah, different campuses though

so we still go off to different workplaces.

What sort of research do you do?

It's cancer diagnosis.

Excellent, good for you.

And what are your hobbies?

A bit of surfing with David,

but I'm a fair-weather surfer, so I only go out in the summer months.

-Very sensible.

-When the water isn't freezing!

-Fantastic.

OK, there you are, you are on 14, the high scorers are on 44,

James and Glynis, so 29 or less

sees you comfortably into the next round.

I'm feeling fairly confident about the first three categories...

but I thought Harry Potter is probably quite well known

so I'm going to go with Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King.

The Return Of The King, says Sarah.

Here's your red line, get below that with The Return Of The King

and you're in Round Two. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done... Oh, look at that!

You needed 29, you've got 28.

Another good answer, safely through.

It's the third film in the series.

They shot over 1,100 miles of film for that trilogy.

-Mm.

-Isn't that amazing?

-It is amazing.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, then, Stephen...

Stephen, welcome to the show.

What do you do, Stephen?

I'm a project manager for a football community trust.

Excellent, so, what exactly is that?

Getting lots of kids involved in football teams?

It's getting lots of young people involved in community activities

based around football clubs across the country.

Excellent. And what are your hobbies?

Um...really into football,

play a little bit of golf, as well.

Films are certainly not my hobbies, so...

OK, well, listen - you're on 24, the high score is still James

and Glynis on 44.

So, 19 or less is your target.

OK...

I'm really struggling on this...

I've not seen any Harry Potter films.

No Lord Of The Rings films.

None of the Pirates Of The Caribbean, Police Academy...no.

Oh, James and Glynis are hiding their smiles,

as well as Kirt is not.

So I'm going to take a punt...

at Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallow.

And The Deathly Hallow.

OK, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallow.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

how many of our 100 people said it - there's your red line.

I'm sorry, Stephen, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

so it scores you the maximum of 124.

Sorry, Stephen, can't take it. I'll go through all the answers at the end of the round.

Hallow..!

That's my impression.

-I know. That's a deathly "hallow".

-Quite scary.

LAUGHTER

Because you're SUCH a good actor.

-That was like... I thought I'd met Death himself.

-Yep.

-Do it again.

-I do, actually... I do the voice of Death, actually.

Oh, do you? The actual... Of actual Death?

Yeah.

So you're the last voice everyone in this world is ever going to hear?

Yes.

That doesn't surprise me, somehow. LAUGHTER

Oh, now, Fiona, listen - good news -

you are through to the next round.

Your low score from Louise, your low score of five ensures

your place in Round Two. But, I think you might have a good answer.

Fiona, welcome back. Remind us what you do.

-I'm a pharmacy manager.

-A pharmacy manager.

In your spare time what do you like to do?

Just reading...films, so, hopefully, I'll be all right on this one.

-Hopefully!

-OK. What are you going to go for?

Well, I had a risky Terminator one

-but now that I know I'm safe I think I'll just...

-Go with the risky one!

-Oh, I don't...

-You're fine, you're fine.

-I don't want to get 100.

-Doesn't matter, you're fine!

-SHE LAUGHS

Even 105 - pff! you're in!

All right, I'll go for the risky Terminator one then...

-Oh!

-She'll kill me.

I'm going to say Salvation.

-Salvation?

-Yeah.

Let's see. No red line for you cos you're through, but let's see if Salvation's right,

And how many of our 100 people said it.

Not only right, a fantastic score.

Second-lowest score of the round...

Yeah, well played, glad you took the risk, there.

Set in 2018 that film. That's the film on which...

Have you ever seen Christian Bale having that rant

-at the lighting director?

-Oh, is that on that?

Yeah. Which is very famous and went viral.

But what didn't go viral is his apology.

He's been absolutely unreserved -

"I was out of order, beyond belief," all that kind of stuff.

-But that got, obviously, less publicity...

-Yeah.

..than his extraordinary outburst.

-OK, now then, James, welcome back.

-Cheers.

You do have a challenge, you do...

I said you'd have a challenge at the end of the round

and 79 is your target.

-Now, James. Remind us - obviously, you work with Glynis.

-Yep.

In the office. You muck about, quite a bit, with Glynis?

Yeah, we muck about a bit, yeah.

She's particularly good at paper aeroplanes.

We actually had a situation where at Christmas

we had a Christmas tree up and she just threw it

and it managed to actually stay in the top of the Christmas tree.

Straight in, straightaway, it was a skill.

There we are, OK.

You're on 44, the high scorers on 124 are Stephen and Kirt.

79, as I say, is your target.

What are you going to go for? Let's have something great.

I know quite a lot, actually, so thanks very much, Stephen,

for saving us, there.

The Harry Potter ones - I'm pretty confident on all them

and The Lord Of The Rings and The Pirates Of The Caribbean.

But I'm going to just play it safe just to make sure that we get enough.

I'll go for...

Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers.

The Two Towers says, James, The Two Towers.

Here's your red line, nice and high.

Let's hope The Two Towers gets you below that.

Very well done. It did exactly what it needed to do.

Well played, safe and sound.

Very well done, everyone. Terrific work.

I'll take you through the answers for the different stories.

Let's deal with The Deathly Hallow.

It's two films, they're both called The Deathly Hallows.

There's Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part One

and Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part Two.

They both scored eight points - the best answers for Harry Potter.

Would've been a very good answer.

You would've got 23 points for Order Of The Phoenix and Chamber Of Secrets.

You'd have got 33 for The Goblet Of Fire

and 37 for Prisoner Of Azkaban.

Lord Of The Rings - the ones we haven't heard...

The Fellowship Of The Ring would have scored 26,

that's the best answer for Lord Of The Rings.

Pirates Of The Caribbean - At World's End would have been your best at 11,

Dead Man's Chest - 13. And Curse Of The Black Pearl - 19.

Police Academy - Their First Assignment, which is the name

of Police Academy 2, that's the only pointless answer for any of those.

And Terminator - two of them here,

Salvation would have scored 13 and Judgment Day, 22.

So, the biggest scorer of all was the first answer we had,

Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone was the biggest scorer.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So at the end of our First Round

the pair heading home with our high score of 124, Stephen and Kirt.

Oh, Stephen, that's... That's tough.

You were very close to a lovely low score there.

Deathly Hallows...

We just needed a part number and a plural, I suppose.

Stephen and Kirt, we'll see you again next time,

we'll look forward to that and I'm sure you'll go further then.

Meantime, thanks very much for playing - Stephen and Kirt.

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

OK, so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round we have to say goodbye to another pair.

Our category for Round Two is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first

and who is going to go second?

And whoever is going first please step up to the podium.

-OK.

-WOMEN LAUGH

-Are you all right on podium two there?

-Yeah!

And the question concerns...

-Richard.

-On each pass we will show you six descriptions

of different museums and galleries from around the world.

We need you to tell us the name of that museum or gallery, please.

It's going to be 12 in all to have a go at home, so very best of luck.

OK, so let's reveal our first board of Museums and Galleries.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we go, now, James.

-Alexander.

-HE CHUCKLES

This is NOT the best category for me.

Art is something I really didn't want but I've got a feeling

I'm going to go for the one in 2005 for the Mona Lisa.

I believe it's in The Louvre.

The Louvre, says James. The Louvre.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

One of the largest museums in the world, The Louvre.

-380,000 objects.

-It's enormous!

-Nine million visitors a year, as well.

-Mm.

-Fiona.

-Hi.

Fiona, there's our board of Museums and Galleries.

It's a tricky one, that one, I think.

I'm going to hazard a guess, I think the first one, the David Bowie one,

is the V&A, the Victoria and Albert.

The V&A, says Fiona. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said the V&A.

It's absolutely right.

48's our only score so far, you've passed that.

Still passing it. Very well done indeed.

Yep, that's a very good answer.

Wonderful museum as well, the V&A.

It's the first museum in the world to have a restaurant.

They all do now, that's where they make their money.

-The first one.

-They must have thought that was MAD at the beginning!

-Yeah.

-"Restaurant...?!"

The first one to open in the evenings, as well.

Used gas lighting to open in the evenings.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, then, Sarah.

This is really not a good board for me, either.

I am going to guess at a museum I know is in New York.

You can talk through the board, if you like.

At least, even if you just sort of do your musing out loud.

I'd love to, but I am going to go with a museum I know is in New York,

which is the Guggenheim, as the fourth answer on the board.

OK. The Guggenheim.

-That's a bit of a shot in the dark, is it?

-Yes!

But it's a New York museum.

It is a New York Museum.

OK, let's see if that's right, the Guggenheim,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh, I'm sorry, Sarah.

I'm afraid, in New York, it may be,

but I'm afraid that's not the one we're after - scores you 100 points.

Yeah, and it's actually a museum dedicated to immigration,

and it's the Ellis Island Immigration Museum.

It would have scored 26 points.

Do you know 40% of people in the USA

can trace themselves back to people processed through Ellis Island, still.

-Isn't that incredible?

-Wow.

-Um...

The Istanbul answer is the Topkapi Palace. Would have scored you four.

-The Oxford museum...

-The Ashmolean.

-Ashmolean - would have scored 14.

-And the Florence art museum...

-The Uffizi.

-..is the Uffizi.

That would've scored you 10.

So the best answer up there is the Topkapi Palace.

Thank you very much indeed.

Well, halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

19, Fiona. This is getting to be a habit, Fiona and Louise -

our nice low scorers there.

Then up to 48, where we find James and Glynis,

then up to 100, I'm afraid - Sarah and David.

So, David, who knows what the next board's going to be like,

but find a nice low-scoring answer, if you can, on the board.

You will be the first person to have it, so, yes, use that well.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second player please step up to the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more clues up on the board

and here they are.

We're looking for the names of the museums and galleries,

described by these clues.

David, you are going to try and find

the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

It's a good job I'm going first, I only know one.

So I am going to go for that and...

Established in 1753, first exhibiting Rosetta Stone in 1802 -

-the British Museum.

-The British Museum, says David.

You are the high scorers, so there was no red line for you,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said the British Museum.

It's right.

Good answer!

You could still find yourself in the game at the end of this round.

Well played, David. Terrific answer there, giving yourself a shout.

It's got over 8 million objects, the British Museum, in its collection.

-Wow.

-Yep.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, Louise, you are on 19.

Great low score from Fiona in the first pass.

-115 is the high score. 95 or less gets you through.

-Right...

I don't know if I'll be able to do this. Um...

I don't know any of them.

There's two I'm toying between.

But they're either going to be right or wrong. Sorry!

I'm going to go for the contemporary art venue open in 2000,

and say the Tate Modern.

Tate Modern, says Louise.

Here's your red line, lovely and high.

All you have to be, I would suggest, is right.

And if you are, I think you'll get below that red line.

Let's see if Tate Modern is right.

It is! Very well done indeed, Louise.

Another good answer.

Well played, Louise. You knew it really.

One of the four Tate galleries in the UK -

St Ives, Tate Britain, and Tate Liverpool, as well.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, then, Glynis.

Now then, Glynis.

You are the last person to have this board.

This board is all yours.

Here are our museums and galleries.

In you come. Admission is free.

OK. Good job, because I know absolutely none of them.

At all.

What's the "good job"?

-That it's free to get in.

-Free to get in...

I'm afraid what I can't offer you,

and I would love to, is a free pass to the head-to-head.

Never mind.

Because that is a touring exhibition and you have to pay for that.

OK.

But everything on the ground floor -

up to and including Round One, Round Two -

-help yourself.

-OK.

This is probably the worst subject for both of us.

I knew the Tate Modern, but I don't know any of the others at all.

I can't even begin to guess.

So...I need the bus fare home, I'm afraid.

Er... Yeah, I can't guess any at all.

Right.

Viennese Museum,

home to works by Kustav Klimt, such as The Kiss...

Is that The Jack Robinson Academy in...?

-GIGGLING

-Is it, perhaps?

In Ludwigstrasse?

-Exactly.

-Let's find out, let's see.

The Jack Robinson Academy...

-Yeah, for fine art.

-..of Wien.

OK, there is your red line.

Um, The Jack Robinson.

Is it right?

Oh, no, I'm sorry, Glynis.

-Shocker.

-I'm sorry, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 148.

Yes, sorry, Glynis, that's in Prague, rather famously, I'm afraid(!)

I knew it was somewhere.

That's where he spent a lot of his time, wasn't it, Jack Robinson?

Before setting up his academy, very famously.

He was briefly thinking about doing it in Budapest, but...

But before you could say Jack Robinson, he did it...

In Prague.

Funnily enough, the Tutankhamun one you could've had a little guess at.

It's simply the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.

That would've scored you 16 points.

The Winter Palace, this is an amazing museum, I've been here,

is The Hermitage, that's in Saint Petersburg,

that would've scored you 8 points.

The Viennese museum is not the Jack Robinson Academy,

it is the Belvedere. Very well done if you said that,

that's the best answer there. 1 point.

And a big scorer down the bottom,

the Athens museum is the Acropolis Museum.

50 points for that.

-So, Belvedere the best answer there.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home with the high score of 148,

it's Glynis and James. Well, congratulations on...

I liked the academy, I like that.

You could have said anything there.

But you gave them an academy, which I think, in Vienna,

is the kind of thing they'd have appreciated.

Anyway, there we are.

I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye,

it's been a real treat having you on the show.

-Thank you so much, Glynis and James.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Fiona and Louise, Sarah and David -

you are one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands, still, at £1,000.

Now, we have to decide who's going to go through to the final

and play for that money,

and to do that you are going to go head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now allowed to confer before you give your answers

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Now you get to put your heads together.

I think this is going to be very, very close,

so best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question,

and it concerns...

Elton John Duets.

We're going to show you five pictures now

of Elton John duetting with other artists,

can you tell us who that other artist is, please?

OK, let's reveal our five pairings, and here they come.

We've got...

There we are. Five pictures of Elton John

duetting with as-yet-unnamed stars.

Fiona and Louise, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

THEY CONFER

We'll go for A, kd lang.

kd lang.

kd lang.

OK. Now, Sarah and David.

Do you want to talk us through the board?

Um... No, but Elton John's in all of them. We know that for sure.

I think we'll probably go for...E

and Eminem.

OK. Eminem for E, you are saying.

So we have kd lang and we have Eminem.

Fiona and Louise said that A was kd lang.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

20.

20 for kd lang.

Sarah and David have said that E is Eminem,

let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It is of course right.

-LAUGHING:

-Ooh.

-60.

At least we got it right!

Which means, Fiona and Louise, very well done,

after one question you are up 1-0.

Yes, kd lang, very good answer.

Now, the best answer on there is B, one of Elton John's

-very early influences, he worked with Phil Spector...

-Father Christmas?

-No, it's not Father Christmas.

-Isn't it?

That's not Father Christmas, no. He LOOKS like Father Christmas.

Leon Russell.

Absolutely right, session musician, played with the Rolling Stones

and all sorts of people, Sinatra.

One point, very well done if you said that.

Very badly done if you said Father Christmas.

LAUGHTER

C is RuPaul, would have scored you ten points.

And D...is Lady Gaga.

Would have scored you 31.

Not instantly recognisable from that photograph, so only scoring 31.

Thank you very much indeed.

So here comes your second question, Sarah and David, you get to answer

it first, but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

OK, it concerns...

Going to show you five poets now, all of whom are best-known

by three names, but we've left out the last of those names.

Can you fill in the blanks?

OK, thanks very much, let's reveal our three-named poets.

Sarah and David, help yourselves.

-I've got no idea.

-THEY MURMUR INDISTINCTLY

I think we've got to come up with something realistic

-that doesn't sound utterly stupid.

-Edgar Allan...

James?

-DAVID LAUGHS

-James? OK.

We're going to go with Edgar Allan James.

Edgar Allan James, say Sarah and David.

-OK, Fiona and Louise, over to you.

-SARAH LAUGHS

I'm so glad they said that, because it's Edgar Allan Poe.

And that's the only one we knew, so...!

Edgar Allan Poe, say Fiona and Louise,

so we have Edgar Allan James versus Edgar Allan Poe.

Sarah and David, let's see if you're right.

Oh!

Which means, Fiona and Louise, you merely have to be correct

with Edgar Allan Poe and you are straight through

to the final. Let's find out.

It is right, very well done indeed.

It's a high score, but all it had to be was right.

And it means, Fiona and Louise, after only two questions

you are straight through to the final. 2-0, very well done.

That is a very big winning score, 88, quite something.

Let's have a look through the rest of these,

a couple I know people at home would have got.

-Percy Bysshe...

-Shelley.

-And Samuel Taylor...

-Coleridge.

-Absolutely.

-Ford Madox...

-Ford.

-Yep, also known as a novelist.

-The best answer on the board, modern poet, Michael Symmons...

-Roberts.

It is Michael Symmons Roberts.

So very well done if you said that.

Thanks very much. So the pair leaving us

at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Sarah and David,

you've done very well up to this point.

But it's kind of good news, cos it means we get to see you again.

Otherwise it would all have been over. Phew! In just one show.

But you'll be back next time, and having made it to

the head-to-head, surely you will make it to the final next time.

We'll look forward to that.

-Thanks very much for playing, Sarah and David.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But, for Fiona and Louise, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Fiona and Louise, you've fought off

all the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show it stands at...

Well, you deserve to win it, you really do,

you've done so well today.

Consistent low-scoring all the way through and then,

in the head-to-head, 2-0.

Straight through. Little lucky with Edgar Allan Poe...

-It was.

-Very lucky!

As always, you get to choose your category,

and there are four, they are...

-There's only one we can go for really, isn't there?

-Yeah.

BOTH: The Madchester scene.

OK, well, Chester and Manchester did for you last show,

so let's hope Madchester pays you back this time.

Richard, Madchester.

Yep, from Manchester, I hope one of these suits you,

you'll recognise all three.

We are looking for the name of any top 40 single by James

up to the end of February 2014,

the name of any top 40 single by the Stone Roses

up to February '14 as well,

or the name of any studio album by New Order that reached the UK top 40.

So top 40 singles by James or the Stones Roses,

top 40 albums by New Order. Very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win the jackpot is for just one

of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock,

there they are, your time starts now.

-OK.

-So James singles... Just Like Fred Astaire.

That's a good one, yeah.

-Just Like Fred Astaire...

-Can't think of any New Order. Stone Roses.

Sally Cinnamon, the obvious one.

What else, James? She's A Star, Laid...

Is that off the album or is that a single?

-You said Pleased To Meet You.

-She's A Star, that's a good one.

Say Something. What's the one about bells? Ring The Bells?

Ring the Bells...

THEY WHISPER INDISTINCTLY

-Right, OK.

-Ring The Bells, Fred Astaire and Say Something?

Was that top 40?

Yeah, yeah, I'd say so. So what are we doing?

BOTH: Just Like Fred Astaire, Say Something....

-Ring The Bells?

-Ring The Bells.

-Ten seconds left.

-Think we're ready.

OK, you've got your three answers, we'll stop the clock there.

Now what answers are you going to give

and which categories are they in?

-They're all going to be from James top 40 singles.

-OK.

And we're going to go with Just Like Fred Astaire...

-Just Like Fred Astaire.

-..Say Something...

-Say Something.

-..and Ring The Bells.

-And Ring The Bells.

OK, three great answers there,

which of those is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Ring The Bells, you think? Oh, no, Fred Astaire.

-Just Like Fred Astaire.

-We'll put that last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Say Something.

Say Something we will put first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order

and here they are, we've got...

Well, best of luck. Your first answer was Say Something.

Three good answers up on the board there.

One of those could easily be pointless.

If you won £1,000, what would you do with it, Fiona?

Well, we've both got young babies, so...they're pretty expensive.

But I'd like to go on a holiday, our first holiday together,

-that'd be nice.

-Lovely. Louise?

I recently got engaged,

so I think I'd put it towards planning the wedding.

Very good. Congratulations, as well.

So, OK, we are looking in this case for a James UK top 40 single.

You have gone for Say Something.

If it is right and it is pointless, it will win you £1,000.

Let's see how many people said Say Something.

It's right.

That was the first thing it had to be.

Now, if this goes all the way down

to zero, you leave here with £1,000.

It's going down through the teens now, single figures,

still going - you've done it!

CHEERING

That is brilliant, very well done!

-Fantastic.

-Oh, thank you.

-Brilliant.

Wow, congratulations, no mucking about there.

Straight in, first answer - boom.

Say Something, a pointless answer,

which means you go home with a jackpot of £1,000.

Like I said, richly deserved.

Yeah, well played, Fiona, well played, Louise, that's terrific.

Sometimes the subjects just fall for you, and geographically

and time and everything, that's a lovely category for you.

So, yeah, Say Something, very good answer, Ring The Bells,

if we'd had to go on to that,

would have scored you...nothing at all, also a pointless answer.

And Just Like Fred Astaire would have scored...nothing at all as well.

Three pointless answers, we don't see it very often, congratulations.

Let's take a look at some more pointless answers.

The James category is where most pointless answers were here.

Some big hits here.

You also could have had Destiny Calling,

How Was It For You?, Getting Away With It,

I Know What I'm Here For, Lose Control,

Runaground, Tomorrow and Waltzing Along.

Well done if you said those.

Fewer pointless answers here, Begging You

and the double A-side of Fools Gold, What The World Is Waiting For.

Would have won you the money.

Only two New Order albums were pointless - Lost Sirens and Low-Life.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Three pointless answers, congratulations.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Fiona and Louise,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000, very well done indeed.

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.