Episode 18 Pointless

Thanks very much, indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless - the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

I am Jo. I'm from Scotland but now living in Preston.

This is my dad Paddy who's originally from Newcastle

but has lived in the Scottish Borders for 20 years.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Euan and this is Lindsay. We work together in Leeds.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Scott. This is my girlfriend Sarah.

We're from Hartlepool.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hello. I'm Jane and this is my better half, Frances.

We live in Shropshire.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about each of you

throughout the show, as it goes along.

That just leaves one person for me to introduce.

He is the fountain of all knowledge.

Although he is having a little problem with algae at the moment.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

APPLAUSE Hi, everybody.

-Welcome. How are you?

-I'm very well.

We finally ended our run of jackpot winners last time.

Yeah, it was getting ridiculous, really.

Three in a row. Nearly had four.

Rob and Sam didn't quite manage it last time, with Cornish towns.

Nearly did, didn't they? They did very well.

Two returning pairs from that show.

Lindsay and Euan, who got through to the second round.

And Scott and Sarah, who joined the 200 Club in Round One.

We haven't had members of the 400 Club for some time, have we?

No. Do you think they might be candidates?

No. Sorry. I don't mean that.

Apropos of nothing, we haven't had members of the 400 Club...

You just brought it out your back pocket there.

Anyway, there it is. We'll just leave it.

The reason we haven't is cos contestants of the quality

of Scott and Sarah, who are going to walk through this show, I think.

Two very different questions, the first two.

The second one is rather an interesting question.

Good stuff. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

As usual, all of today's questions have been put

to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are on the hunt for one of those all-important

pointless answers. Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Sam and Rob, as you'll have gathered,

didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. Remember that, and do what you can

to make sure that's not you. Our first category today...

is...

Europe.

Europe. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first and second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns European cities.

European cities. Richard.

On each pass we're simply going to show you seven clues that will

lead you to a European city. You just need to name the city.

14 cities in all, to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, we are

looking for the major European cities described by these clues.

Here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Seven clues on that board, for seven European cities.

Jo, welcome. A warm welcome to you, Jo.

What do you do?

I'm a radiological safety consultant in the nuclear industry.

A safety consultant in the nuclear industry. What are you doing here?!

Who's looking after the office while you're away?

-My colleagues will be keeping a good eye.

-OK.

-Fine. Yeah, one person down. That's fine.

-It'll be all right.

That's fine. Good. How long have you done that for?

I've been there four years now.

OK, listen, you're the person who can answer,

can we all sleep safe in our beds then?

-We can relax?

-Yes.

-Everything's fine? It's in hand?

-Definitely.

Phew! Oh, good. Ah! That is a relief.

If it's perfectly safe, why do they need safety officers?

It's safe because they have safety officers.

-Oh, listen to this.

-Very good.

-Hee-hee.

-That's good though.

That's good. I like this.

Cos I thought, just in case we were being spun a line there.

-But now I'm absolutely reassured.

-Good. Good.

Jo, what are you going to go for in this board?

Um, I don't know many of them, to be honest.

I'm just going to go for the one that just came to me,

and I don't even know if it's right, but the birthplace of

Hans Christian Andersen is Copenhagen.

Copenhagen.

Stands to reason, surely.

Let's find out. Is Copenhagen the right answer?

And if it is, how many people said it?

Oh, no!

Oh, I'm sorry, Jo.

An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points.

It's not, I'm afraid, Jo.

You won't be the only person making that mistake, I guarantee it.

You would think that would be the answer.

-Yeah.

-But it's not.

-It's not. Now, Lindsay, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Last time, Round Two.

-Yes.

What was the category? It was Football Managers.

-Football Managers.

-Football Managers in the Premier League.

That's right. It's good to have you back.

You'll notice no football managers,

no Premier League behind me on the board.

Yeah. Not a much better question, though.

-Really?

-No.

What would you say were your areas of expertise?

Just to help us, for the future.

Music.

-All music?

-Yep.

-All music?

I've got pretty eclectic taste in music, so that's quite a good one.

OK, give me the extremes of your musical taste.

Everything, all across the decades, to every type of music.

-Classical music?

-Yep.

-Opera?

-Yep.

OK, Lindsay, what are you going to go for on this board?

I think I'm going to have to go for the largest city in Switzerland.

Which I think is Zurich.

Zurich, says Lindsay. Let's see if Zurich is right.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

46.

APPLAUSE

46 for Zurich.

Yeah, safe and sound, Zurich.

It's got the largest clock face in Europe.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Scott. Scott.

-Hi.

You are a film graduate.

Ideally, if you went into film,

would you work in writing or directing, producing?

-It would definitely be writing for me.

-Writing?

-Yeah.

Especially television.

I love sitcoms and I'm actually writing one now, with a friend.

Yeah, I'm really interested in that sort of stuff.

Good stuff. OK then, Scott. Cities. There they are.

We've only had one correct answer

so there are still six up there on the board for you.

Again, I'm not sure so I'm just going to go for the Swedish

city that hosted the 2013 Eurovision.

And say Stockholm.

OK, you're going to say Stockholm. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many people of our 100 people said Stockholm.

It's wrong I'm afraid, Scott.

300 and counting.

-Terrible.

-I'm afraid, yes, that scores you 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Scott. You've made Jo very happy, though.

You've made Sarah unhappy but Jo happy,

so it's swings and roundabouts.

Thanks very much indeed. Jane. Welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you here from Oswestry.

What do you do with yourself up in Oswestry, Jane?

I like gardening. Like walking. I like going for a drink down the pub.

LAUGHTER

Excellent. I see a lovely day evolving.

What a nice plan. What kind of garden do you have?

Do you have a cottage garden or a kitchen garden?

We've got a giant garden. It's got a little bit of an allotment on it.

And a flower garden. Lots of lawns. It's really lovely.

Sounds lovely. Now then, Jane, this board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

Well, I think the top one is Waterford.

I'm not so sure about any of the others, to be honest,

apart from the bottom might be Zeebrugge.

I think I'll go with Waterford.

OK, Waterford. Said to be the oldest city in Ireland.

Let's see if Waterford is right, and let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right, of course.

Oh! The lowest score of the round so far, Jane. Very well done.

39 for Waterford.

Well played, Jane. Yeah, the famous Waterford Crystal.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

Starting with the birthplace of Hans Christian Andersen.

It's not Copenhagen, I know a lot of people would have said it.

It's Odense. It would have scored three points.

So a terrific answer.

-The walled city in Croatia...

-Dubrovnik.

-Dubrovnik.

-Beautiful, beautiful Dubrovnik.

-Would have scored 14.

The capital of Bavaria is Munich.

Would have scored you 37. The Swedish city.

It's Sweden's third biggest city, not Stockholm or Gothenburg. It's Malmo.

Football fans will know Malmo very well.

Especially Nottingham Forest fans. 12 points for that.

-The European port is Rotterdam.

-Rotterdam.

That would have scored 29.

Odense is the best answer on that board.

Thanks very much indeed. I think that's very impressive

that three of our 100 got that.

-I know you would instantly have gone for Copenhagen.

-Yeah.

But there we are. Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

39 is the best score of that pass. Jane, very well done indeed.

Up to 46, where we find Lindsay and Euan.

Then up to 100, Scott and Sarah, Jo and Paddy.

Now, Sarah, let's not have 100 from you.

-I'll try.

-Do your level best.

Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

We're going to put seven more clues to major European cities

up on the board, and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Frances, remember

we are looking for the major European cities

described by each of these clues, and your job is to find

the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Frances, welcome. Warm welcome. And what do you do, Frances?

-As little as possible, really.

-What a good answer.

I've semi-retired so...

What's your favourite kind of little as possible?

I make wine.

That's a good little as possible. What sort of wines do you make?

I make it out of anything we grow in our giant garden.

-So, wood?

-Yeah, anything.

THEY LAUGH

-Grass?

-Grass. I bet you could make a lovely grass wine.

HE SCOFFS

-Nettles, you can make...

-Nettle wine, yeah.

-Which is your favourite?

-Tomato.

-Oh, that's a good idea. Tomato.

-Oh.

-What colour is a tomato wine?

-It's white.

-It's white. I suppose if you leave the skins in it goes red.

I don't know. That sounds really nice. Is it nice, Jane?

Yeah, very nice.

Is it very strong?

Well, you never know, from one bottle to the next.

THEY ALL LAUGH

How nice. Tomato wine. Listen, there you are. You're on 39.

Great low scoring there from Jane, which means 60 or less

gets you into the next round. You have first pick of the board.

I saw that word 'wine'

so I think I'm going to have to go with that one.

And I think the major Portuguese city situated on the Douro River,

known for its fortified wine, could be Oporto.

Oporto says Frances. Oporto. Here is your red line,

if you get below that with Oporto you're through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

Through you go.

43.

82 is your total. You're in the next round.

Oporto, or Porto as we know it over here,

it's where Jose Mourinho started his rise to fame.

Hmm. Thanks very much indeed. Now, sir, now, sir.

Oh, it all gets very exciting here. Now, major European cities.

You're on 300. We can't have 400.

The 400 Club is thankfully a very select gathering of people.

-This is terrible.

-Oh, Sarah.

-It is. It really is.

I'm going to go with the Spanish city and say Madrid.

The Spanish city where Gaudi's Sagrada Familia church is located.

Madrid. OK. Let's see if that's right.

No red line for you as you're joint high scorers,

but how many of our 100 people said Madrid? Is it right?

No, I'm afraid it's not, Sarah. That is another 100 points.

Takes your total up to 200.

-Yeah, sorry, Sarah. 400 Club. It is quite a rarity.

-Mm.

Currently it's in a minibus but at some point,

we're going to have to upgrade to a coach.

I think. Cos there's a few more people...

We're going to Lewes in Sussex to look at a charabanc,

aren't we, at the weekend?

Exactly. But there's still a couple of seats left.

You know what, they're a nice bunch. They are a good bunch.

-They are nice.

-And select as well.

-Very jolly.

To be fair, we've given...

There is a film question there, a sport question, a fashion

question there, a booze question there - which Frances jumped upon.

There's all sorts of different questions in there.

But sorry none of them were up to snuff.

Yeah, we should look into that. The up-to-snuffness.

OK, now, Euan, welcome back. Welcome back.

I have great news for you.

In the form of telling you that you're in Round Two.

There we are, isn't that good?

-It's brilliant.

-Brilliant. You're in Round Two.

Now then, it was Round Two for you last time, wasn't it?

-It was Round Two.

-That was your exit then.

-Indeed.

How are we feeling about these major European cities?

When the category came up, I wasn't particularly delighted.

And certainly, the first board would have been poor for me.

I think Munich was probably the only one I would have had a shout at.

This one looks more promising.

-There's quite a nice spread of stuff on there, isn't there?

-Indeed.

And again, it's knowing about other things,

so knowing about football for the top one, which I'm 90% sure

about, knowing about Mozart for the other one that I'm 90% sure about.

But the one which I'm 100% sure about,

which might not be as low as those other two,

but I am 100% sure of it, is the Belgian city, which is Bruges.

The Belgian city is Bruges. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bruges.

No red line for you because you're already through.

Absolutely right, of course, it was Bruges.

It's a good answer. 19.

Takes your total up to 65.

Well played, Euan. Terrific film as well, In Bruges.

It's really worth watching. Have you seen it?

-I'm nodding. No, I haven't.

-It's good.

-In Bruges. Yeah.

Oh, I've never seen it.

I must see it.

It's good. Means 'bridge', Bruges.

-'Brugge,' which is how you say it if you're from Belgium.

-Bridge.

Yeah. It's got a lot of canals, Bruges. It's a very beautiful city.

It is beautiful. I haven't been.

LAUGHTER

But I have seen pictures of it.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, Paddy. Right, OK.

Our first major contest of the show.

Paddy, welcome to the show, obviously,

this is just by way of preamble, to calm you down.

Whew! Deep breath. So, up in Melrose?

-Yes.

-But originally, you're from Newcastle?

-That's right.

When did you move up to the Borders?

About 25 years ago, we moved up for a couple of years.

-Been there ever since.

-Couldn't leave. It's beautiful, Melrose.

-Yeah.

-What do you do in your spare time, Paddy?

I still play football. Try to. Support Newcastle United.

My wife and I like to go on two or three foreign holidays per annum.

Excellent. Well, foreign holidays.

So foreign cities is surely a good category for you.

Now then, there you are, you're on 100. You have to score 99 or less.

That's not a big ask, I'm hoping, Paddy.

But talk us through this board if you can.

I think the Ukrainian football team is Shakhtar Donetsk.

I think Mozart was born in Salzburg.

Don't know the Lombardy one.

The Spanish city is Barcelona.

And I think the Pope one is Krakow.

But I'll go for the one I'm certain of, which is the first one.

And say Shakhtar Donetsk.

Donetsk says Paddy. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said it. You do get a red line.

There it is, just below the pink one.

Let's see how many people said Donetsk.

It's a great answer, Paddy. Sees you comfortably through.

With plenty of points to spare. Look at that. 15.

Very well done. 115 is your total.

Well played, Paddy. We always say sport helps with geography.

Yes, very good answer.

Famously beaten by Fulham, Shakhtar Donetsk, in the Europa League.

I've got to stop going on about that. It was a long time ago now.

15 points, so very good.

Now, you took us through the board very, very nicely there.

Uh, it is Salzburg.

Would have scored you 16 points.

You were right about Barcelona as well.

That would have scored you 33 points. You were right about Krakow.

That would have scored 15 points.

And... It's the Fashion Week,

it really is the clue to the Lombardy one. It's...

-Milan.

-Milan, yeah.

And would have scored 37 points.

Joint best answers there - Krakow and Donetsk.

-You knew both of them. Well played.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home for the second time consecutively,

with a high score of 200, I'm afraid it's Scott and Sarah.

I am so sorry.

I knew some on the second board, which is a shame.

Oh, dear. Well, listen, it always happens that way round.

-Sarah, how were you on the first board?

-Rubbish.

LAUGHTER

Sorry we have to say goodbye, Sarah and Scott,

but it's been great having you, albeit brief.

But thanks very much for coming to play with us. Sarah and Scott.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, the tumble of a column, we are down to three pairs.

What about that? And at the end of this round,

we'll be down to two pairs.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two...

is Music. It's Music.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many of the world's

highest-paid musicians of 2013 as they could.

Highest-paid musicians of 2013. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any individual or band

who are mentioned on Forbes magazine's

highest-paid musicians of the year for 2013.

It covers the period of halfway through 2012 to 2013

based on ticket sales, royalties, all that sort of thing.

Everyone. It's all living acts as well - bands and...

bands and individuals who are still going.

So any band or individual who are on the list of the world's

highest-earning musicians.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jo...

Jo, just always tough

when you get one of these sorts of questions

and you're the first one out of the traps.

I can't think of anything obscure,

so I'm going to go for something obvious.

Um...Katy Perry.

Katy Perry. Let's see if it's right.

Katy Perry - how many people said it if it is?

It's right, very well done.

8.

-APPLAUSE

-Good start, Jo. Well done.

Ooh, it's 23rd on the list. She earned 39 million.

We should dust down our synth act.

HE LAUGHS We should do.

-Some serious money, isn't it?

-Yeah.

She had a concert film and all sorts. Does lots of private gigs, too.

Oh, bet she does, yeah.

Nice.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Euan.

Um, well, there's a few names that spring to mind.

There's one name which...who seemed to be involved in every single

single I heard last year, so if he's not on the list,

frankly his accountant is doing a really bad job.

So I'm going to say Pharrell Williams.

Pharrell Williams, let's see if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Ooh! You're right. His accountant is doing a shocking job.

I'm afraid he's not on that list. 100 points for you.

Yeah, sold a lot of records but maybe not the touring and stuff,

so not quite up there, I'm afraid. Must have earned a lot, though.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Um, Frances.

Frances, we come to you.

I'm not very good at this, but I'll give it a go.

I think I've heard of a group called, um, Coldplay.

Coldplay, says Frances. Let's see if that's right.

Sounds good to me, but let's see, are they on that list? Coldplay.

They are on the list. Well done, Frances.

-5.

-Yes!

-There we go. Well done.

-APPLAUSE

Fifth on the list.

In fact, they earned 64 million in one year.

Mind you, there's four of them, so, you know, 16 million each.

By the time they've shared, it's really...

Yeah, then you've got to pay tax.

-Yeah.

-You know, and then there's...

They've got to buy like drumsticks and stuff.

-They're not cheap...

-They're not.

-..drumsticks.

Chris Martin's got a couple of kids, too, and they're not cheap, are they?

So, you know, before you know it...

Before you know it, it's...yeah. It's all gone.

-Still looking at the statements at the end of the month.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's see those scores. 5, the best score of that pass.

Well done, Frances. Puts you and Jane in a very strong position.

Then up to 8 where we find Jo and Paddy.

Again, I think probably safe and sound,

because we then go up to 100, where we find Euan and Lindsay.

Lindsay, it could happen again, though.

There could be another 100 scored. Let's make sure it's not yours.

A lovely low score from you might keep you in the game,

so best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, remember, we're looking for the name of any artist or group

whose name appears on the Forbes list

of 2013's highest-paid musicians. Jane.

Uh, well, Frances stole the one I was going to do.

So I'll have to say...

94 or less gets you through.

The Rolling Stones.

The Rolling Stones, says Jane. The Rolling Stones.

Let's see if the Rolling Stones are up there and how much they scored.

There's your red line.

You're right, very well done. And you're through.

It's going to be...

-15!

-Ooh, well done.

-APPLAUSE

15 takes your total up to 20. Well done.

It's another good answer. In fact, they were tied with Katy Perry.

-Very good. Now then, Lindsay. Lindsay.

-Yes.

Now, you know what we need.

I've got a few answers but, as you say,

it's finding the one that's the lowest scoring.

I think, on balance, the one I'm going to go for is Jay Z.

Jay Z, says Lindsay. Let's see if Jay Z is right.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

But how many people said Jay Z if it is right?

Good answer, Lindsay.

Now, we just have to hope this goes a long way down the column.

11.

I'm afraid not low enough to keep you in the game. 111 is your total.

It's a valiant try, though. Very well played.

Yeah, he earned 42 million.

He's got... He promotes champagne and cognac.

He's got all sorts of promotional deals.

He's dropped the hyphen, though, from his name.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, he was originally Jay-Z, now he's just Jay Z.

Now he's just "JayZ."

-Yeah.

-Jay Z, wow.

I imagine the costs for that...the cost implications must be colossal.

Well, that's why he did it, to save on printing.

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-Yeah.

-That's where a lot of the 42 million has come from.

-Um, OK.

Now then, Paddy, good news, you're in the head-to-head.

And here's fun, you can give us an answer,

maybe a nice low-scoring one.

Maybe there's a pointless answer out there. I...probably not,

but there'll be a nice low-scoring one.

Jo scored eight, can you do better than that?

I doubt it very much but, I suspect, if he was touring,

he would have made a fortune, so I'll go for Robbie Williams.

Robbie Williams, says Paddy. Let's see if Robbie Williams is right.

No red line for you as you're already through.

Ooh. I'm afraid not on that list.

You're through anyway, but that scores you 100 points.

-Takes your total up to 108.

-Yeah, no Robbie Williams, I'm afraid.

There's some unusual names on the list,

but let's take a look at the pointless answers first.

Jennifer Lopez would earn a pointless answer.

Kenny Chesney, an American country singer, would be a pointless answer.

Muse were pointless. They were big high earners.

Roger Waters from Pink Floyd.

Tiesto, the Dutch DJ, and Toby Keith, another American country singer.

He was the fourth highest-earning musician in that year.

Here's the top three. You'd have got 31 for Lady Gaga.

Paul McCartney - 39, he's still raking it in,

and Beyonce - 45, right at the top there.

So, Beyonce and Jay Z together, goodness me.

-Tell you what we should do.

-What's that?

Should we ditch the synth double act

and maybe we should learn the guitar.

-Become an American country singer?

-Get a couple of big hats...

What I might do is marry Beyonce.

ALL LAUGH

-That'd be good, wouldn't it?

-Yeah. You know, it...it could...

You never know, people split up, don't they?

I don't want to split them up.

I'd love it if they were happy. They got kids and all that, that's nice.

But, were they to split up, I would throw my hat into the ring.

CHUCKLING

What, the big one that we were going to buy for our...?

Excellent. Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home,

I'm afraid, it's Lindsay and Euan on your second appearance.

Second time in Round Two as well, I'm so sorry.

It's been great having you on the show.

Sorry we have to say goodbye to you so soon

but, Lindsay and Euan, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But, for Frances and Jane and Jo and Paddy,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Frances and Jane, Jo and Paddy.

You are now one step closer to the final and the chance

to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

So, this is the point where we decide who gets to play

for that money, and we do that by putting you both head-to-head.

This time you can confer before you give your answers,

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

We will see what happens. It's very exciting.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK. Here comes your first question. And it concerns...

..People Born In 1964.

People Born In 1964, Richard.

Yeah, we'll show you five pictures now of people who turned 50 in 2014.

Can you tell us the most obscure of these, please?

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five 50-year-olds. And here they are.

There we are. Five people born in 1964.

Frances and Jane, you've scored the lowest throughout the show

so far, so you will go first.

-BOTH CONFER IN WHISPERS:

-I think D is Keira Knightley.

I think.

-I don't think it is.

-It is.

I don't know the others. Do you?

No, I don't know E and I don't know C.

We don't know who C is, we don't know who E is,

but we're going to go for D down the bottom there,

and we think it's Keira Knightley.

D - Keira Knightley, say Frances and Jane.

Now then, Jo and Paddy, the board is all yours.

Talk us through the board.

Do all your thinking out loud if you like.

Well, I'm pretty sure that D is not Keira Knightley.

So I think... Well, do you want to go through who the rest are?

Do you know any of them?

B is Keanu Reeves, A is Michelle Obama.

-Um...

-I don't know the other two.

-We'll go...

-Keanu Reeves cos we know that's right.

-We'll go B, Keanu Reeves.

-B, Keanu Reeves.

OK, so we have Keira Knightley and Keanu Reeves.

Frances and Jane said Keira Knightley for D.

Let's see if it's right and, if so,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Nooo, I'm afraid that's not right.

Which means, Jo and Paddy, you merely have to be correct

when you say that B is Keanu Reeves and you've won this point.

Yeah, of course, that's right.

49 people knew that.

APPLAUSE

But the main thing is it was right,

which means, after one question, Jo and Paddy, you are up 1-0.

Frances and Jane, we did say we were looking for 50-year-olds.

THEY LAUGH

I have to say, if we weren't given that information...

-It looks like her.

-It looks incredibly like her.

But, yeah, she was born in 1985, Keira Knightley, so...

LAUGHTER ..she won't thank you for it.

She'll be losing cosmetics contracts all over the place now.

Sorry about that, Keira.

It's actually - and she does look amazing - Yasmin Le Bon.

-Hmm.

-Would have scored you 3 points.

A is Michelle Obama.

Big scorer, though. She would have scored you 74.

C is Courtney Love.

Would have scored you 13. Do you know E?

It's one of the voices behind The Simpsons and many others.

-Oh, it's Hank Azaria!

-Hank Azaria, yes.

Would have scored you 4 points. Terrific answer if you got that.

I was... I was thinking he was a celebrity chef or something.

I was going completely the wrong direction.

Yeah, he's Mo, isn't he?

He is Mo. He plays lots and lots of characters in The Simpsons.

Fabulous. Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Frances and Jane, you have to win to stay in the game,

so best of luck with that.

It concerns...

The Isle Of Man.

The Isle Of Man. Richard.

Going to show you five clues now to facts about the Isle Of Man

or things and people associated with it.

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

OK, let's reveal our five clues. And here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

So, there you are, five clues to facts about the Isle Of Man.

Jo and Paddy will go first.

-WHISPERS:

-Which ones do you know?

-I don't know. You pick.

-I know two or three, I think.

But we'll go for the capital of the island, which is Douglas.

Douglas, say Jo and Paddy. Douglas, the capital.

Now, Frances and Jane,

do you want to talk us through the rest of the board,

see what you can fill in?

Not really.

The motorcycle races are TT Races.

The bottom one is a Manx cat.

-(The cyclist.)

-The cyclist I'm not sure of.

And the island could be Lundy but I'm not sure of that either.

So we'll go for...

-Manx cat.

-The Manx cat.

OK, you're going to say Manx. So we have Douglas versus Manx.

Jo and Paddy said Douglas. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Douglas was the capital.

It's right.

37.

37 got that.

Frances and Jane, meanwhile, are saying that Manx

is the breed of cat and the language spoken on the island.

It's right.

-Ooh.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ah.

71. I'm sorry, Frances and Jane, that's a high score.

Which means, Jo and Paddy, after only two questions,

you are through to the final. 2-0.

Yeah, sorry, Frances and Jane, but very well played, Jo and Paddy.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

The motorcycle race - it was the TT, or the Tourist Trophy.

Would have scored 60 points, though.

The best answer is the island just off the south-west coast

which is the Calf Of Man.

Very well done if you said that. 4 points. And the cyclist...

If you had to have a guess?

-BOTH:

-Bradley Wiggins.

It's Mark Cavendish.

Mark Cavendish, the sprinter, would have scored you 9 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end

of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid, Frances and Jane.

Stunning low scores all the way through the whole show,

until you get to the head-to-head round.

THEY LAUGH

Keira Knightley wrong-footed you there,

dressing up like she did as Yasmin Le Bon.

We look forward to seeing you next time, Frances and Jane.

-Thanks for playing. Great contestants.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

-Good luck.

For Jo and Paddy, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jo and Paddy.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot and,

at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

So, Paddy, at the beginning of the show when Jo said Copenhagen

and it was on 100, did you think... well, that's it?

No, I thought there may be a chance cos I thought those city questions

weren't altogether too easy.

But we did get away with that, to be fair.

Well, you did very well. You did very well.

And Jo, likewise, you helped your dad out in Round Two.

-And then 2-0 in the head-to-head against our low-scoring pair.

-Yeah.

Well, as always, you get to choose your category from the four

we put up on the board for you. Let's see what those four are.

We've got 1950s Jazz Albums, Modern Female Novelists,

New Zealand, Manchester United Teams.

Well, it's going to have to be the bottom one for you, isn't it?

I'll not be able to contribute to all the...

-I support Newcastle.

-SHE LAUGHS

But you watch football.

-Oh, OK.

-Well, there's just no other option, is there, really?

Manchester United Teams.

All right. Manchester United Teams it is. Rich?

I'll enjoy watching a Newcastle United fan not want to

pretend he knows anything about Manchester United.

Got three different options for you. I hope one of these suits you.

We are looking for anybody who played on the Man United team

in the European Cup final against Benfica,

so anyone on that team, including subs who came on.

We are looking for anyone who was in the greatest youth team of all time

probably, who won the 1992 FA Youth Cup final.

Anyone who played in the second leg of that game against Palace.

Or we are looking for anyone who was in the Man United team

who won the European Cup Winners' Cup final against Barcelona.

So, the 1968 European Cup final team,

that class of '92 FA Cup Youth team,

or the European Cup Winners' in 1991.

Anyone who played at any point of those games, please.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Are you ready?

-BOTH:

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Ahh.

-What do you think?

Well, Bobby Charlton and George Best scored in the final.

-Well, they're obvious, aren't they?

-Yeah.

-Goalkeeper was Alex Stepney. I think...

-What about him, then?

-I've never heard of him.

-..Bill Foulkes maybe played centre half.

I've never heard of him.

Cup Winners' Cup - Mark Hughes scored the winner.

Bryan Robson played - he's too well known.

The Youth Cup team,

I presume, must have been that kind of golden age of Beckham, Giggs.

I wonder if Nicky Butt played for them.

Who do you want to go for out of all of those names you just said?

None mean anything to me.

Trying to think of who else that wasn't famous

played in the European Cup final.

Oh... 20 seconds.

The names that I don't recognise are good,

cos then it means it's not obvious.

-Bill Foulkes.

-I've never heard of him.

-Alex Stepney was a goalkeeper.

-Mm-hm.

-And we'll go for Nicky Butt.

-Ten seconds left.

Are you happy with those, or can you think of anything else?

No, we'll go for that.

-OK, you've got your three answers.

-Yes.

Well, there is your minute up. I'm afraid that's it.

I now need to hear what those three answers are.

From the top...

European Cup final team, we'll go for Alex Stepney and Bill Foulkes.

Alex Stepney, Bill Foulkes.

And from the bottom one...

Sorry, from the middle one, the youth team, we'll go for Nicky Butt.

And Nicky Butt. Now, of those three,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

If he played - Bill Foulkes.

Bill Foulkes, OK. We'll put Bill Foulkes last.

Which should we put first? Your least likely to be pointless?

-Um...

-I've heard of Nicky Butt.

Nicky Butt cos he played until recently.

OK, we'll put Nicky Butt first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order. And here they come.

We have got Nicky Butt, Alex Stepney and Bill Foulkes.

OK. Well, very, very best of luck.

Let's hope one of these is pointless.

If one of these is pointless, you'll win £2,000.

What would you be doing with that, Jo?

Well, I recently bought my first house, so there's a few

little bits and pieces need doing on it, probably go on that.

Excellent. Paddy, how about you?

Well, my wife and I are due to celebrate our 60th birthdays

in the next few weeks,

so I think we'll just put it towards a hoolie.

Excellent. Well, best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers at least

brings that money home for you.

Your first answer was Nicky Butt,

the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless.

In this instance, we were looking for 1992 FA Youth Cup final.

Let's see if Nicky Butt played for Manchester United in that team.

If it's right and if it's pointless, it will win you £2,000.

It is right. That was the first thing it had to be.

The next thing it has to be is pointless.

So, if Nicky Butt takes us down, as he is doing through the 20s

and the teens, to 0, you...

Oh!

10.

APPLAUSE

10, good answer.

Good score. Sadly, not a pointless score.

We're only interested in pointless scores.

So only two more chances to win today's jackpot. Alex Stepney...

..was your next answer. In this case, we're looking for

players in the 1968 European Cup final.

So let's find out, for £2,000, how many people said Alex Stepney.

It's right.

Well, Nicky Butt was right and he took us all the way down to 10.

Alex Stepney now taking us down through the 20s

and the teens, into single figures, still going down...

-5.

-APPLAUSE

We've halved the score. OK.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

which is Bill Foulkes.

Are you confident in Bill Foulkes?

-Not now.

-THEY LAUGH

Let's find out.

This was the answer you thought was your best shot at a pointless.

So, if it is right and if it is pointless, you will win £2,000.

Let's find out if Bill Foulkes

played in the 1968 European Cup final.

It's also right. We had three correct answers.

Your first, Nicky Butt, took us down to 10.

Your second, Alex Stepney, took us down to 5.

Bill Foulkes taking us into single figures. Down it goes...

Oh, 1! Oh, no.

APPLAUSE

Oh, that is cruel.

Oh, well.

1. Well, you ordered that absolutely exceptionally.

Nothing wrong with the order you put them in. I am so sorry.

Just think, if they'd all just gone down 1 -

9, 4 and pointless would have been lovely.

I bet it was the same person who knew them all.

Um, unfortunately, I'm so sorry.

Three excellent answers, but none of them pointless

which means, I'm afraid, you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But you've been fantastic all the way through the show.

It's been lovely to have you.

Sorry it's only one appearance for you, but it's been superb.

You get to take home a Pointless trophy for all your hard work,

-so well done.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, Richard.

-Yeah, that's unlucky.

We've given away a lot of jackpots recently, so it's...

Stopping at 1, we haven't seen that for a while.

It's quite surprising when it happens. Really, really unlucky.

There's only three pointless answers

on that 1968 European Cup winning team.

Let's look at them. You'll recognise a couple of them at least.

Paddy Crerand would have won you the money.

Shay Brennan, also Tony Dunne.

Other answers. Bill Foulkes, as you know, got 1,

John Aston and David Sadler also got 1. Brian Kidd, too.

We've seen Alex Stepney there, and then Nobby Stiles - 6.

And two big scorers at the top - Best with 34 and Charlton got 36.

Now, this amazing '92 youth team, here's some of the pointless answers.

Chris Casper, who went on and had a pretty decent career. George Switzer.

Keith Gillespie had a terrific career as well,

away from Man United.

Simon Davies - not the Simon Davies who went to Fulham,

different Simon Davies.

But in that team, you have Beckham who scored 33 points,

you had Giggs who scored 22, Gary Neville - 17.

And there's a couple of 1-pointers as well.

I know some Man United fans would have got these.

Ben Thornley would have scored you 1, John O'Kane would have scored you 1.

Also, famously, Robbie Savage was in that Man United team.

He would have scored you 1 point as well. Well done if you said that.

Well, not that well done - it didn't hit the jackpot,

but you know what I mean, it's a good answer.

And the 1991 European Cup Winners' team, Clayton Blackmore

was a pointless answer, and Les Sealey, the goalie,

also a pointless answer.

I think you mentioned Mark Hughes. He would have scored you 11 points.

Well done to anyone who got any of those at home.

And tough luck in the studio. 1 point is...

You know, it's a great answer, but no money, I'm afraid.

Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Jo and Paddy.

You've been fabulous on the show. We've loved having you here.

Thank you so much for playing. Jo and Paddy.

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Jo and Paddy didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us again to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE