Episode 19 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the game where we aim for the obscure and we ignore the obvious.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Frances and this is my partner and best friend, Jane,

-and we're from Shropshire.

-Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Pete and this is my lovely wife, Jane, and we're from Bristol.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Gav. This is my friend, Ceres, and we're from Saltash in Cornwall.

-And finally, couple number four.

-I'm Kim, this is my brother, Bill.

He comes from Sleaford in Lincolnshire

and I come from Southsea.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll get to know more about each of you throughout the show as it goes along,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If all the world's a stage, and all of us are merely players,

then this man would be the autocue.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Afternoon.

-Afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon to you.

-How are you?

-Yeah, I'm very well.

-Excellent.

Only one returning pair, and they're on podium 1, as it should be.

I always think when people come back, they should lead off.

-I think that's nice, don't you?

-It is.

-It's random, but I like it

when that happens. Frances and Jane got all the way through to the head-to-head last time,

so they'll be tough to beat.

I hear that Gav and Ceres are from Saltash,

which was a Pointless answer in the jackpot round, wasn't it?

-Yeah, two shows ago.

-Yeah.

-It's gutting for them that they weren't on that.

-Oh, I know!

-You would have been all over that.

-And the jackpot was £770,000, as well. You missed out on that.

-It was a record, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

-There it is.

-No, it should be a cracking show today.

-Thank you, Richard.

Now, all our Pointless questions have been asked to 100 people

before the show. Our contestants are trying to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, Joe and Paddy didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £3,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, all you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so do what you can to make sure it's not you. Best of luck,

all four pairs. Our first category today...

is Film Stars. Film Stars.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second,

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Celebrity Voices On Film, Richard?

On each pass we'll show you the names of seven animated characters from films.

We need you to tell us who provided their voice. The good news is, we'll give you

the initials of the person who provided the voice.

So it's going to be 14 animated characters in all,

you've got to guess the voices for all of those. Good luck.

So we are going to show you, on the first board, seven characters.

We want to know who voiced those characters. Here's our first board.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Frances, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Ooh, you did so well last time, right up to the head-to-head round,

-and then you was robbed.

-Yeah.

-Yes, it was 2-0.

-Yes.

Only because I thought Keira Knightley was over 50.

I wasn't going to mention Keira Knightley!

But now you've brought her up, yes... Yasmin Le Bon

-looking incredibly like Keira Knightley.

-She did, yes.

Keira Knightley has been on the phone since that show, as well. She was very, very unhappy.

She was in tears talking to me because you thought he was 50.

I tell you who comes out of it well, Yasmin Le Bon.

-Definitely.

-Cos she's 50, and she looks like Keira Knightley.

If I look like Keira Knightley when I'm 50, A, I'll be surprised,

-B, I'll be very happy.

-You do look a bit like Keira Knightley.

-I mean, a young Keira Knightley.

-Yeah, a little bit.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, why not?

-Yeah.

Now, Frances. There are various characters.

-Who are the actors who voiced them?

-OK.

Um, I think I know some of them.

I think I'm going to go...

Um, I think I'll go for the top one. Lightning McQueen, Cars.

I think that's Owen Wilson.

Owen Wilson, says Frances, for Lightning McQueen.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right. Owen Wilson, a good answer.

-APPLAUSE

-36.

-36.

-Well played, Frances. Nice start. He plays the arrogant car, Lightning McQueen.

-Paul Newman also provided a voice in that movie.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-So, Jane.

-Hello!

-Jane W.

-Yes.

-Welcome to the show.

-You are here from where?

-From Bristol.

-From Bristol.

What you do in Bristol?

I'm a business manager in a primary school.

-That's interesting. A sort of bursar, really?

-Yeah.

-It's the old-fashioned bursar.

-Excellent. How is that? Is that fun?

It's really good. I really enjoy it,

-cos everyday's completely different.

-Yeah.

-So it's brilliant.

Do you work all the way through the holidays, as well?

-No, I'm really lucky. I only work term-time only.

-Excellent.

Now then, Jane, what about these voice-over characters?

-Yeah, this is an awful round for me.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Are those initials helping at all?

-No, not at all. I'm sorry.

I'm just going to have to pick a name out of a hat, really.

I'm going to go for Victor Van Dort, Corpse Bride.

I'm going to say Jason Donovan.

-It's not out of the question.

-Well...

-His name begins with a J and a D.

-It does.

-Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Jason Donovan.

No. That's not a surprise.

Oh. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer there, Jane W.

That scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Jane, perfect work on the alphabet,

but I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Ceres.

-Yes.

-Ceres, welcome.

-What do you do, Ceres?

-I'm a travel agent.

-Oh, now that's fun, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I'm pleased there still are lots of travel agents around.

-But is it getting quite tough being a travel agent?

-Yeah.

-Most people do their own, don't they?

-Yeah, it's a tough industry at the minute,

with all the internet holidays that people book at home.

-So it's tough, we've got to work hard.

-Yeah.

-I enjoy it.

Ah, it just means on a rainy day,

when it's about sort of half three and it's getting dark outside

-in the winter, you can just leaf through magazines.

-Yeah.

-And dream.

-And dream. How nice.

Well, there are various characters.

-Who are the actors who voiced them?

-Yeah, I know a few.

I was just trying to think which one is going to be the lowest. Um...

I think I'm going to go for Victor Van Dort, and say Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp, you're going to say. Not Jason Donovan, but Johnny Depp.

Let's find out, is it Johnny Depp?

And if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right. Well, you've already beaten our high score.

Our low score at the moment is 36 and you beat that, too. 20.

APPLAUSE

-Good answer, Ceres.

-Well played, Ceres. Nice start.

Of course, Jason Donovan, very much the Australian Johnny Depp, isn't he?

-LAUGHTER

-Yes.

-Yeah.

Now Kim, welcome to the show. Great to have you here. What do you do?

-I'm a secondary school teacher.

-What do you teach?

I teach geography and a little bit of IT. But mostly geography.

-That's fun. Do you love it?

-I do.

I really love it, because I've got kind of a passion for travelling,

and for sort of making sure people know about their area around them.

-Very good indeed. Now, Kim, this board's all yours.

-Yes.

I maybe know three, but I think I might be making the third one up.

Do you want to talk us through them all,

-and then decide which one you want to submit?

-OK.

I have absolutely no idea about Zazu.

I think Princess Fiona is Cameron Diaz.

I've got a feeling, and I'm sure it's completely wrong,

that Dr Nefario might be Rob Brydon.

Hercules, no idea.

And Rocky from Chicken Run is Mel Gibson.

And it's just deciding which is higher of Cameron Diaz

and Mel Gibson, so that I'm going to go for the lower of the two.

And I think I'm going to go for Cameron Diaz.

OK, you're going to say Cameron Diaz for Princess Fiona.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it if it is.

Cameron Diaz.

Well, again, you've beaten our high score.

The low score at the moment is 20.

-Well, 50 you get for Cameron Diaz.

-APPLAUSE

Not bad, Kim.

Yeah, the winner of the first ever animated feature Oscar, Shrek,

is actually a much higher answer than Mel Gibson.

Mel Gibson is right, but would have scored you 27 points.

Would have been a very good answer. Dr Nefario, not Rob Brydon, but...

-Russell Brand.

-Russell Brand, yep.

Would have scored you nine. Zazu...

-Rowan Atkinson.

-Rowan Atkinson, yeah. Would have scored you eight.

And the best answer there, Hercules,

was played by the American actor, Tate Donovan.

-Terrific answer if you got that - one point.

-That's Jason's brother?

LAUGHTER It is!

Thanks very much indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 20, the best scorer of that pass,

Ceres. Very well done indeed.

Then up to 36, where we find Frances and Jane.

Then up to 50, where we find Kim and Bill,

and then 100, Jane W and Pete.

Listen, anything could happen on the next pass, Pete. You never know.

A low score from you will help you enormously.

Good luck. We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, let's put seven more characters up on the board. And here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Bill, we want the names of these actors, and you're going to try

and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Bill, welcome. What do you do, Bill?

-I'm a retired detective superintendent.

-Wow.

-When did you retire?

-I retired 11 years ago.

And since then I've taken up running,

and now I run 5K to a marathon.

Wow! Do you miss the detective superintending?

-Oh, definitely.

-Oh, I'd miss that terribly, though!

-Oh, the questions to be asked.

-Yeah.

Anyway, what are you going to go for, Bill?

Do you know what, there's not one I know on there I can pick out.

Look at those initials. Think of Jason Donovan.

LAUGHTER

I'm going to have Po with James Bond.

AUDIENCE TITTERS

-OK, James Bond.

-It's all I can give.

-Yes, well...

-I should have gone in the first round.

-OK, there's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're in Round Two.

Let's find out if James Bond is right for Po, shall we?

No, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

scores you the maximum of 100 points. Your total is 150.

There is a possibility that you might be with us

at the end of the round, but it's all in Pete's hands.

Sorry, Bill, yeah. Not James Bond.

That would be a world to live in, wouldn't it,

-when characters played other characters in other films.

-Wow.

-That'd be very confusing.

-Yeah.

-It would make our lives more difficult.

-Yeah, wouldn't it?

-Gav, welcome.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Gav?

-I work in retail as a team leader.

-Good. What sort of retail?

-Supermarket work.

-Excellent. What do you do in your spare time?

I do a part-time degree, so that takes up a lot of my time.

-A sports degree.

-Open University, is it?

-Yeah.

-I see.

OK. Now, Gav, listen, I've got great news. Yeah.

-You're through to the next round.

-Good to know.

-Yeah.

Um, I knew a few of them.

I think I'm going to go with Puss In Boots, which is Antonio Banderas.

Antonio Banderas. No red line for you, cos you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Antonio Banderas.

44.

-APPLAUSE

-64, your total.

Well played, Gav. Yes, showing us the adventures of Puss In Boots before he meets Shrek,

-like a prequel.

-It's a great film.

-A lovely film.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Pete.

-Yes.

You've been thrown a lifeline there.

-Bill helped you out there.

-Thank you.

So, yes - 100. You have to score 49.

-Now, Pete, what do you do?

-I'm a children's entertainer.

-You see, I salute you. I salute you.

-Thank you.

I think one of the hardest jobs in the world.

-So, do you have a character? Or do you...

-Sort of, yeah.

-I mean, I go under the name of PJ.

-And do you do magic?

-Magic, yeah.

-And games?

-And games.

-And do you do balloons?

-I do balloons, yes.

Oh, you've got to have balloons. What's your best balloon thing?

My best balloon? Um, the one that makes most people -

mainly adults, actually - kind of go, "Wow!" is a fish.

-Wow.

-On a...

-On a fishing rod.

-On a fishing rod.

-On a line?

-Yeah.

-Wow.

It really does make adults go, "Wow!"

It makes adults go, "Wow!" There you are.

PJ, fish on a line.

Now, Pete, what we need from you is an answer that scores 49 or less.

Yep. OK, I'm going to go for...

Because it's a little bit older than the rest of them, I'm going to go

for Mrs Potts in Beauty And The Beast, which was Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury, says Pete. OK. Let's see.

There's your red line, and if you get below that, you're in Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Angela Lansbury.

It's right.

Very well done.

-Good, 13. You're in Round Two.

-APPLAUSE

113 is your total.

Terrific answer, Pete. Well played there.

-She plays a teapot in that, Angela Lansbury.

-She plays a teapot.

-She sure does.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jane. Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Welcome back. Remind us what you do.

I work at Shrewsbury hospital

-and I work in the clinical audit department.

-Clinical audit.

So what do you do there?

Well, we ask patients lots of surveys so that we can then analyse

the data, and hopefully make patient experience a lot better.

-See, that's good. I'm glad to know that.

-Yep.

-Now, Jane, good news.

-You're through. You are through to the next round.

-That's good.

But do you fancy having a crack at this board?

See how many of these you can talk us through?

Well, the only one I knew was the top one.

So I'm going to have a bit of a laugh,

and say that Alex in Madagascar

is Brian Sewell.

LAUGHTER

Laugh it up, laugh it up.

I did a cartoon with Brian Sewell, actually.

And I tell you what, he was brilliant. As you can imagine.

He wasn't in Madagascar, though!

I tell you what, I'd be so impressed if he were.

Brian Sewell, is that right? How many people said it?

No. I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you 100 points.

But you're through to the next round anyway, so it couldn't matter less.

That might be the most anyone's ever made themselves laugh at an answer.

It's not Brian Sewell. Do you know that one?

-It's Ben Stiller.

-Oh, yes.

Ben Stiller is the answer to that, would have scored you nine points. So, good answer.

Rapunzel is a very good answer, as well.

It's the American actor, Mandy Moore. Would have scored you four points.

-Sulley...

-That's John Goodman.

-John Goodman, yes.

-Would have scored you 20. Smurfette. Do you know this?

-Katy Perry.

-Yes.

-Would have scored you 19. And Po was...

-Jack Black.

Jack Black, rather than James Bond, yeah.

Although Jack Black would make a rather good James Bond.

Thank you very much. So at the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair we're sending home

with their high score of 150, it's Bill and Kim.

Yeah, James Bond, yes, I'm afraid that did for you.

But we'll see you again next time, and we'll look forward to that very much.

-Bill and Kim, thanks very much for playing.

-Thank you.

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And now, there are only three pairs.

Obviously at the end of this round we have to whittle that down to only two pairs.

Anything could happen in this round, but best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Politicians.

Politicians.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many British prime ministers

with the first name John, James, Robert or William as they could.

British PMs with first names John, James, Robert or William.

-Richard.

-Yep, looking for any Prime Minister since 1721

listed on the UK government website with any of these names, please.

It can the name by which they're commonly known,

or some prime ministers might have been born with one of those names and known by different names,

but we'll accept them as well. Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. So, Jane, we come to you first. Jane B.

I'll go with a nice easy one, in case I mess it up again.

-I'll say John Major.

-John Major, OK.

John Major, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said John Major.

It's right. Wee, 87, Jane.

-Ooh! 87 for John Major.

-It's a very big score.

-Better than the last time, though.

-Yeah, only a TINY bit, though.

-Thanks very much. Now, Pete.

-Yes.

-John, James, Robert or William.

Um, I'm going to go with James Callaghan.

James Callaghan, says Pete.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said James Callaghan.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-54.

Yeah, the only person to have ever held all four great offices of state,

James Callaghan.

Prime Minister, Home Secretary, Foreign Secretary and Chancellor.

-Only person in history.

-Hmm. Now, Gav.

Yeah, it's devastating. I was going to say James Callaghan.

I'm not very good on my politics at all.

So I'm going to take a wild guess at...

John Smith.

John Smith, says Gav. OK, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said John Smith.

I'm afraid not, Gav. I'm afraid not a prime minister.

That scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, led the Labour Party of course, John Smith. But never prime minister.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

54, the low score in that pass. Pete. Who'd have thought that?

Goodness me, 54.

Then up to 87, where we find Jane and Frances.

Then up to 100, Gav and Ceres.

-Ceres, have you got any good ideas for the next pass?

-One.

Good, one's all you need. Best of luck.

Let's hope it's a low score. Maybe it will be enough to keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, we're looking for British prime ministers known by, or born with,

one of these four names as their first name.

John, James, Robert or William.

-Ceres, you've got one.

-I've got one.

-What are you going to go for?

-I'm going to go for...

-William Pitt the Younger.

-William Pitt the Younger, says Ceres.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it,

no red line for you as you are the highest scorer.

How many people said William Pitt the Younger?

It's a good answer.

I suspect this will be our lowest score so far, and it is.

Look at that, down it goes. That's a great score, very well done.

-11 for Pitt the Younger.

-APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 111.

-Let's hope that's enough to see you through.

-Well played, Ceres.

He was 24 years of age when he first took office,

and 18 years he lasted in his first term, as well.

Now, Jane and Pete.

-Hello.

-You're on 54. The high scorers on 111

are now Ceres and Gav.

If you can score 56 or less with your brilliant answer,

-you're in the head-to-head.

-Right, OK.

I don't think it's going to be a brilliant answer,

and I'm not 100% sure it's right.

All the ones I was going to do have already gone.

I'm going to say William Hague.

-William Hague.

-Mmm.

-OK. There's your red line.

If you get below that with William Hague, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see if anyone said William Hague, is it right?

No. Not a prime minister, Jane.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 154.

It'd definitely have been on the news

-if William Hague had been prime minister.

-I know.

-LAUGHTER

I thought he might have sneaked in there for a couple of months.

Thanks very much, Rich. Now, Frances.

The high scorers currently Jane and Pete on 154. You're on 87.

So 66 or less gets you through.

I think I'll go for a Robert, and I'll go for Robert Walpole.

Robert Walpole, says Frances. There's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

How many people said Robert Walpole?

It's right.

You're in the head-to-head for the second time running.

-It's a great answer. 11.

-APPLAUSE

Joint lowest score of the whole round. 98 is your total, Frances.

-Well done.

-Yes, regarded as the first Prime Minister, Robert Walpole,

and served for 20 years, which is still a record.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Ramsay MacDonald was born James,

so he would have been a pointless answer.

The Earl of Liverpool, Robert Banks Jenkinson was a pointless answer, Robert Gascoyne-Cecil also.

A few more.

There's a couple of good fake ones, like Ramsay MacDonald.

Anthony Eden would have scored you one point,

because he was born Robert.

Gordon Brown would have scored you three points,

because he was born James Brown.

And Harold Wilson would have scored you four points,

cos he was born James Wilson.

So there's a lot of James who are changing their names.

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones that most of our people said.

William Gladstone would have scored you 24,

Robert Peel also would have scored you 24. There's James Callaghan, 54.

And up the top, John Major with 87. You got through though, didn't you?

-Yeah.

-How about that?

-Lucky.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 154

is Jane and Pete.

Yes, I'm afraid... That elusive William Hague premiership

I'm afraid is what did for you there.

We'll see you again next time. We look forward to that very much.

Jane and Pete, thanks very much for playing.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Ceres and Gav, Jane and Frances,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £3,000.

This is the point where we have to decide who's going to play for that money.

And to do that, you are now going to go head-to-head.

The difference is you can now confer

before you give your answers and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for the jackpot.

So it's Saltash versus Oswestry. A kind of Derby all of its own.

Yes, I think this is going to be very exciting.

Best of luck to both players. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here's your first question. And it concerns... Flowers.

Flowers, Richard?

Yep, we're going to show you five pictures of flowers now.

We just need you to give us their general common name, please.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-Isn't it? That is nice.

-Pictures of flowers.

-Yeah.

Let's reveal our five flowers. Here they come.

OK, there we are. Five flowers.

Now, Ceres and Gav,

you've played best throughout the show so far, so you will go first.

-THEY WHISPER:

-OK.

-What do you think?

I think A is a pansy,

I think D is a fuchsia.

I think E is a foxglove,

but I'm not sure. What do you think?

-Do you know any?

-D.

-OK.

OK, we're not 100% sure on any, but we're going to go for D,

-as a fuchsia.

-You're going to say fuchsia for D? OK.

Jane and Frances, Ceres and Gav have picked a fuchsia.

What are you going to go for? Talk us through the board, if you like.

-A is a pansy.

-Yep.

-B we're not quite sure about.

C is something exotic.

And E, I think we'll go for, which is a foxglove.

You're going to say foxglove for E? So we have fuchsia versus foxglove.

Ceres and Gav, you said fuchsia for D. Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said fuchsia.

Absolutely right.

-49.

-APPLAUSE

Jane and Frances, you have said that E is a foxglove.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right. Is it going to beat fuchsia?

-Ooh, close!

-Oh!

-Look at that. 52. Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

But Ceres and Gav,

you come out of that one best. After one question you're up 1-0.

Well played, Ceres and Gav.

I think they were going to go for pansy,

but fortunately they went back to the fuchsia. Well done.

-Back to the fuchsia!

-LAUGHTER

So A is a pansy, I think everyone knew that.

Would have scored you 68 points.

B, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not getting this.

-It's a forget-me-not.

-Oh...

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-Six points.

And C is the best answer on the board.

This is very exotic. Do you know this?

Well, I was going to say it was just a lily caught having a stretch.

-LAUGHTER

-I do that in the mornings.

It's not really, it's a gloriosa.

Gloriosa. Very well done if you said that at home.

-It is a variety of lily, but a very particular one.

-A stretchy one.

-It's a stretchy lily, yeah.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

OK, here comes your second question.

Jane and Frances, you have to win this one to stay in the game,

but you do get to answer it first. So there we are. Best of luck.

It concerns... Science Books.

Science Books. Richard?

We've given you five titles now of science books,

but we've left out alternate letters. Can you fill in the gaps?

We've shown you the authors, as well.

Let's reveal our five science books, and here they come. We've got...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Now, then.

Jane and Frances, you will go first this time.

-THEY WHISPER:

-A Brief History Of Time is all I know.

I think Carl Sagan is Pale Blue Dot.

OK, I'm going to have a stab at...

I'm not sure if it's right or not.

But I don't know any of the others,

apart from the top one, and I think that would be too high.

So I'm going to go for Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot.

Pale Blue Dot, say Jane and Frances. Pale Blue Dot.

Now, Ceres and Gav,

talk us through the rest of the board, if you can.

We think the top one is A Brief History Of Time,

and the bottom one, A Short History Of Nearly Everything.

And we're try to figure out the third one,

which we think is The Something Gene.

But I can't... I don't know about you, I can't get that second word.

So I think we'll go for the bottom one,

A Short History Of Nearly Everything.

A Short History Of Nearly Everything, say Ceres and Gav.

OK, now Jane and Frances, you went with Pale Blue Dot,

a bit of a guess. But possibly a good one.

Let's find out. Pale Blue Dot, is it right?

It's absolutely right, Pale Blue Dot.

Still going down, look at that. It's a great score! 2, well done.

I thought that was going all the way down there. Very well done,

Pale Blue Dot, Carl Sagan.

Now, Ceres and Gav, you've gone for

A Short history Of Nearly Everything, the Bill Bryson book.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right.

2 is what it's got to beat, though.

It's going to be close! Look at that, 9! Well done.

-Another single-figure score.

-Close!

But Pale Blue Dot wins it, which means, Jane and Frances,

you're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Pale Blue Dot, that term came into being

when Carl Sagan asked the Voyager spacecraft to take a photograph of Earth

from 3.7 billion miles away

to remind humanity of its own insignificance,

really, in the vastness of space.

Now, A Brief History Of Time would have scored too many points.

Only scored 37, though. It IS The Something Gene.

Not many words that fit in there, but one that does is selfish.

The Selfish Gene. 10 points.

The best answer on the board, there's almost nothing else

that could fit in this. It's too very obvious words,

and I can't think of anything else that would fit in those gaps.

-I've got one of them.

-The...

-Language.

-Yep.

-What would that next one...

-Instinct.

-Oooh!

-Instinct.

-Ceres, what about that?

-Well done. That would have scored you one point.

-That would have seen you into the final.

-Oh...

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this is through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

National Anthems.

National Anthems. Richard?

Yeah, we'll show you now the titles of five national anthems.

They'll be in the language of the country they're the national anthem

-of, as well.

-Oh, great(!)

-LAUGHTER We need you to tell us the name... It's fun, isn't it?

-Yeah.

We just want you to tell us the name of the countries, please.

The team who gives us the best answer is going through to play

for the jackpot, so very, very best of luck.

OK, so let's reveal our five national anthems, and here they are.

OK, there we are. Ceres and Gav.

-THEY WHISPER:

-OK, so we have to say the country.

-Yeah.

-I think the second from the bottom, Germany. Do you know any?

-Yeah.

Jana Gana Mana could be like, Mexican.

-I don't know.

-I can't think what that is.

-We're going to have to... Oh, what do you want to do?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Germany... Go for that?

-Yeah.

OK, we're going to have to take an educated guess, because

we only know one for definite, and we think it's going to be humongous.

-So we're going to go for Het Wilhelmus and Germany.

-Germany.

-Yeah.

-Germany, say Ceres and Gav, for Het Wilhelmus.

Now, Jane and Frances, the board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

Obviously the top one is the USA, and that would be too many.

-Um, La Marcha Real I would say was Spain.

-We'll guess Spain.

We'll guess Spain. I think we'll go for the bottom one, which is France.

-Yeah, France.

-OK, you're going to say France for La Marseillaise.

So we have Germany versus France.

Germany is what Ceres and Gav have said, let's see if that is right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Germany.

Ooh... I'm afraid an incorrect answer there.

Which means, Jane and Frances, you merely have to be correct with

the Marseillaise and France, and you are in the final.

Let's find out if you are correct.

You are correct! Look at that, 93 people knew it, but who cares?

-APPLAUSE

-You are in the final. After three questions, it's 2-1.

I suspect that might be the biggest score ever to win a head-to-head.

Very impressive. Yeah, Het Wilhelmus, not Germany.

The German national anthem is Deutschlandlied.

It's the anthem of a country where I know lots of people watch Pointless,

we get tweets from them all the time. They'll be standing up as we speak,

cos they have to do that.

It is the Netherlands.

Would have scored you 24.

Now, right at the top there, the Star-Spangled Banner is the USA.

-That would have scored 84.

-84?!

-Oh!

-It scores fewer than France.

La Marcha Real, I think everybody knew but nobody went for it, Spain.

Would have scored you 52. And Jana Gana Mana is the anthem of...

-India.

-Is it?

-Would have scored you six points.

Very well done if you said that at home. Best answer by a mile.

Being a bit rash with their rhyming there. Using up all their rhymes in the first three words.

It means, "Thou art the ruler of the minds of all people."

-That doesn't rhyme in English, does it?

-No!

-LAUGHTER

-Jana Gana Mana.

-Thank you, that's very kind of you to say so.

I just think it's worth pointing these things out.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, the losing pair at the end of our head-to-head,

I'm afraid it's Ceres and Gav.

We will see you again next time. We'll look forward to that.

Great performance. With the exception of Germany,

you haven't put a foot wrong in the head-to-head.

Just happened to be beaten by Pale Blue Dot there.

But I think this bodes very well. Next time, surely, finalists.

-We'll look forward to that very much indeed. Ceres and Gav.

-APPLAUSE

But for Jane and Frances, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jane and Frances.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,000.

Very, very well done. You've done so well across both shows, actually.

You were the lowest-scoring pair in the last show.

That didn't see you through to the final.

But this time, through you came. What would you like to see

-come up in this last round?

-Um, vegetable growing.

-Yeah.

Or art, I don't mind. Bit of art.

Maybe a bit of literature, depends on what it is.

-OK. Vegetable growing, art and literature.

-Yeah!

OK, well, best of luck. As always, you get to choose your category.

Brackets, from the four we put up on the board...

So let's see what we've selected for you today. We have...

I know a little bit about American crime writers.

Yeah, I don't know anything about any of the others.

Artists In The Tate. We've been to the Tate. Winning Sporting Streaks?

-Nah.

-I don't really know what means.

-I thought you asked for art.

-Wasn't art one of the things you hoped might come up?

-Yeah.

-And it has.

-Mmm, I know...

JANE LAUGHS

American Crime Writers, or art?

Well, you said art, so... Yep, we'll go for it.

OK, so they are going to go for Artists In The Tate's Collection.

OK, three different options now.

We are looking for any artist with a work in the Tate's collection

who was listed on the Tate.org website under the title Surrealist

or British Surrealist, or any surrealist or British surrealist

artist in the Tate collection.

Equally, anyone listed on that website under Pop Art

or British Pop Art,

or any female artist listed under Young British Artists.

So any artist in the Tate collection according to their website,

Surrealists or British Surrealists, Pop Artists, British Pop Artists,

or Female Young British Artists. Very, very best of luck.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

-to be Pointless. Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Ready.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK, surrealists, you've got Salvador Dali, obviously.

-Yeah.

-He's going to be too many.

-Yeah.

-Um... Er... Menet. Is it Menet?

-Is he a surrealist?

-I think he might be.

-I'm not sure.

-Pop artists. Know any of them?

-Roy Lichtenstein. Andy Warhol.

What's the Blake Guy?

-Peter Blake, is it?

-Is he a pop artist?

-No, he's a cartoonist.

-Is he?

-He did Sgt Pepper's, didn't he?

-Yeah, he did.

Young female British artist...

THEY MUMBLE

Blake? I don't know any female young British artist. Do you?

Apart from...our mate from Margate.

Yep?

So we'll forget the females.

-Does Steve McQueen come in as one of those?

-10 seconds left.

Steve McQueen, yes?

-THEY MUMBLE

-...The Soldiers.

-Yep.

-Yeah?

-OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

We're going to go Steve McQueen.

Steve McQueen, will you say for which category you are answering?

-It's pop artist, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-OK, Steve McQueen as a pop artist.

-Steve McQueen.

-Roy Lichtenstein.

-Roy Lichtenstein.

-He's a pop artist.

-Yep.

And surrealist, I think was Manet.

Manet as a surrealist. OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Steve McQueen.

-Steve McQueen we'll put last. Least likely?

-Manet.

-Manet, we'll pop first.

-I'm not sure if that's right.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order. And here they are.

We have Manet, we have Roy Lichtenstein,

and we have Steve McQueen. Well, very best of luck.

Your first answer, the one you thought was probably least likely to

be pointless,

you weren't entirely confident about this one, was Manet. And in this case,

we were looking for Surrealists in the Tate's collection.

Now, if one of these answers is correct and pointless,

and you win 3,000 quid, what would you do with it? Jane?

I think it's got to be a garden makeover, or a new front door,

-or something like that.

-Very nice. Frances?

-We need a new door on our mortuary.

-On the mortuary?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-We have a mortuary in our garden, which is my potting shed.

-Ah.

It was a mortuary, obviously,

they don't use it for dead bodies any more.

I'm slightly relieved by that, but that's OK. That's good.

OK, Manet was your least confident answer.

Let's find out. If Manet is right, and if it's pointless,

it'll win you that jackpot of £3,000.

How many people said Manet? Is it right?

Ooh, I'm afraid Manet, not on the money.

That is not a pointless answer. Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer, we were looking in this case for pop artists,

and you went with Roy Lichtenstein. It obviously has to be right,

then pointless for you to win the jackpot.

For £3,000, how many people said Roy Lichtenstein?

It's right.

Well, Manet, your first answer, wasn't right,

but Roy Lichtenstein is absolutely right.

Down he takes us, through the teens into single figures,

-still going down! 6!

-Oh!

Oh, that's a good answer.

A good answer, nice, low score.

But sadly not a pointless answer, which means everything is now riding

on your third and final answer, which is Steve McQueen.

And again, we are looking for pop artists in this instance.

Steve McQueen. Let's find out if it's right,

and if it is, let's find out if it's pointless.

For £3,000, how many people said Steve McQueen?

No! Oh, I'm sorry.

-APPLAUSE

-An incorrect answer there.

Great answer with your middle one, Roy Lichtenstein, going down to 6.

Unfortunately you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000.

That will roll over onto the next show. You've been so good, you've been brilliant company.

Great value right across two shows. And you've done so well.

-You get a Pointless trophy to take home for your troubles.

-That's what we came for, anyway.

-Very well done.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Sorry, Frances and Jane. You haven't stopped smiling across two shows, which has been terrific.

Talk me through the thought process that made you not go for Peter Blake in the end.

You had him right to the last minute, then you left him out.

We thought he was a cartoonist.

We wasn't sure which category he came into.

-He did Sgt Pepper's, didn't he?

-He DID do Sgt Pepper's.

He is very much the epitome of pop art.

-And he would have just won you £3,000.

-Oh!

-Drat.

I KNEW you'd still be smiling. I knew it. I'm really sorry about that.

That's the way it goes sometimes. Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers

in the different categories.

Surrealists, you could have had...

You could have had Joan Miro, he's my favourite.

Giacometti would have been a pointless answer.

Ben Nicholson as well. Henry Moore is also on that list.

In fact, everyone apart from Salvador Dali, Magritte,

Man Ray and Max Ernst, everyone else on the list was a pointless answer.

Take a look at some of the pop artists.

And again, everyone there, apart from Warhol, who would have scored you

33, Lichtenstein, Hockney is on the list, Richard Smith and Alan Jones.

Everybody else was a pointless answer.

And the female young British artists.

There were six pointless answers here.

There is Sam Taylor-Wood,

who, like Steve McQueen, was an artist turned film director.

And two other names,

you could have had Abigail Lane and Fiona Banner.

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

Thanks, Richard. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Jane and Frances.

But it's been great having you on the show. Thank you both so much for playing. Jane and Frances.

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show.

And we will be playing for £4,000.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.