Episode 24 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Omar, this is Mark, and we're from Leicester.

Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Glen, this is my girlfriend, Kirsty,

and we're from Dundee.

Couple number three.

Hello, I'm Chris, this is my son, George,

and we're from Tring in Hertfordshire.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name is Alan, I'm from Liverpool.

This is my daughter Jayne, she's relocated to York.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, everyone. We'll get to know more about

each of you throughout the show, as it goes along,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His brain is so expansive, it has its own postcode,

although it receives mainly spam.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hey, everyone. Hiya.

-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

-Nice little jackpot building up, isn't there?

-Isn't it?

It's a nice bit of money to play for.

Omar and Mark nearly went through to the jackpot round last time,

got through to the head-to-head.

And Jayne and Alan who got through to Round Two as well,

so a force to be reckoned with as well.

It'll be tough for our new pairs.

Really nice first round, I think. Round One is quite a fun one.

Excellent. Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, every question on Pointless has been asked

of 100 people before the show.

Today's contestants are looking for a Pointless answer, of course.

That being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As you'll have gathered,

Nicola and Ross didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £8,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now the pair with the highest score at the end of each round,

obviously, will be eliminated. Just remember that.

OK, our first category today, is...

TV Characters.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

-who's going to second.

-WHISPERING

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Fictional Families, Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you some lists of fictional siblings.

I'm going to tell you which TV show they're from as well.

You just need to give us their surname, please.

So, we're looking for 14 surnames in all. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, what are the surnames shared by these members of fictional families?

And here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Omar, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you get up to up in Leicester.

Well, I enjoy playing football.

I support Chelsea FC as well. I'm a massive fan of them.

And then I enjoy loads of sports and leisure in my own time,

volunteering at a local boxing gym.

OK, how do you feel about this as a round, Omar?

-HE SIGHS

-I think most of these

are way out of my time.

Um, I probably only know one, to be quite honest.

Um... And I'll go with what I know,

which is Peter, Lucy and Bobby, which is Beale.

"Beale," says Omar. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Beale.

It's right.

-41.

-APPLAUSE

Not a terrible start to the show, Omar, 41.

Yeah, you're risking a yellow card, though,

for saying it's before your time,

which you know we don't allow anyone to say on this show.

It's not acceptable.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, OK, so, Glen.

-Hello.

-Glen, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-From Dundee?

-Yes.

Oh, it just makes my mouth water, Dundee.

I'm afraid the first thing I think of, just two things, in fact,

marmalade and shortbread.

Mmm!

-Yes, they are delicious.

-Mmm!

Right, what do you do up in Dundee, Glen?

I'm a croupier, a casino dealer.

Wow. Oh, that's fun.

Any marmalade in that?

-There's not as much as you'd might hope.

-No, oh, disappointing.

-That's quite cool, being a croupier.

-It's very cool, being a croupier.

-How long have you done it for?

-Over four years now.

-And how long do you train to be a croupier?

-Um...

There's a six-week training programme you have to do.

And if you're good enough,

-you go on to become a trainee dealer and then...

-Ooor.

-..become a full dealer and...

-That's right, but you deal

all the tables, do you?

-Do you know pretty much every...?

-In my casino, yes.

-Yes?

It takes a while to learn them all, but I did get there eventually.

Very good. Now, Glen, what are you going to go for on this board?

Um, let's see. I know a couple.

Best one I could probably go for is Niles and Frasier Crane.

"Crane," says Glen. Let's see if Crane is right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Crane.

It's right.

Oh, it beats the Beales.

-28.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, originally it was supposed to be an only child in that Frasier,

and then they saw a headshot of David Hyde Pierce and just said,

"He looks so much like Kelsey Grammer that we..."

They wrote in a brother.

They wrote in Niles Crane.

-Thanks very much, Richard. Now, George.

-Hi.

-George, welcome to the show.

-Thanks for having me.

-What do you do, George?

-I'm a musician and YouTuber.

Wow. What...? Explain.

So, well, musician's fairly self-explanatory.

Yeah, that bit, I was happy with that.

I make videos for YouTube.

A lot of them have to do with music and a lot of them don't.

There's this thing called video blogging,

-which I'm sure you've heard of.

-Indeed, yeah, definitely.

Lots of people my age and younger, and indeed older,

are making video blogs these days and enjoying it very much.

George, what are you going to go for on this? On our nice board here?

Now, I was really terrified this would happen.

It was a, sort of, nightmare scenario.

A board would flash up and I'd think, "I don't know any of them."

And then a few seconds past

and I, sort of, started to access a few little bits and pieces

from my memory,

I think there was a character in Happy Days called Richie Rich.

So, I'll say Rich.

"Rich," you're going to say. OK, let's find out if Rich is right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Rich.

As soon as I'd said it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I am sorry, that's an incorrect answer, George.

That scores you 100 points.

Yeah, there's a Macauley Culkin character

and also a Rik Mayall character, as well, Richie Rich,

but not in Happy Days.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Alan.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

Yeah, it was Round Two for you last time, Alan, wasn't it?

Yeah, we were done by the man with half a face.

Oh, that's right, the selfie picture, Russell Brand.

Not in it, as it turns out.

But Ellen DeGeneres,

-your lucky guess.

-Lucky guess.

-Yeah.

So, Alan, what about this board? It's all yours.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

Well, Desmond's I've never watched, I don't know.

Outnumbered, I can picture the family, but I don't watch it,

I don't know the name.

I've never seen those characters in Coronation Street,

I can't relate to them.

Um...

So, The Darling Buds Of May, I think, is Larkin.

But I'm going to go with Happy Days and Cunningham.

Cunningham? "Cunningham," says Alan.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Cunningham.

It's right.

Well, 28's our lowest score so far.

You passed that very comfortably, 22. Well done, Alan.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, Richie Cunningham and Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days.

It was originally going to be called Cool, that show.

-That was its original name.

-Cool?

-Yeah.

Ah, but think how rubbish the theme tune would have been with Cool.

Yeah, it wouldn't be quite as good, would it?

Now, you're right about Larkin as well.

-It would have been a better answer, actually.

-Right.

The Darling Buds Of May family.

That would have scored you 12 points.

Gloria, Sean and Michael Ambrose.

From Desmond's. I've been spending the entire round trying to remember

the surname of the family in Outnumbered.

-It's the Brockmans.

-Oh, God, yes, of course.

Brockmans. And it would have scored you 5 points, a terrific answer.

And Mark, Adam and Danny Baldwin.

And that would have scored you 8 points.

The best answer - Ambrose for Desmond's -

-well done if you got that.

-Thanks, Richard. We're halfway

through the round, let's look at those scores.

22, Alan, very well done. Best score of that pass.

Puts you in a very strong position.

Then we go up to 28, where we find Glen

and Kirsty, likewise.

Omar and Mark are on 41, would be

quite a high score, but for George and Chris'

high score of 100, which helps you out a bit there.

I'm going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, let's put seven more sets of family members up on the board.

And here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Jayne, welcome back.

-Hello.

Jayne, remind us what you do.

I'm a trainee at a global confectionery company.

-Hmm.

-So I get to do lots of different jobs.

You do lots of... And then you choose which one you want to do.

So far, which has been your favourite?

I've only completed one so far, and that was export shipping,

so I got to, kind of, be the Santa Claus for chocolate

and just ship chocolate to all different countries in the world.

Wonderful. Now then, Jayne,

there you are, you're on 22, Chris and George on 100.

If you can score 77 or less,

-you're into Round Two.

-OK.

I've learnt from my lesson from the last show,

so I'm going to play it really safe and go for Monica and Ross.

-Um, Geller.

-"Geller,"

says Jayne, for Friends. Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many people said it.

There's your red line,

see if you can get below that with Geller.

It's right, of course,

and you are through to the next round,

very well done

-37.

-APPLAUSE

59 is your total.

Yeah, the children of Jack and Judy Geller,

played by David Schwimmer and Courteney Cox.

They were earning a million dollars an episode

by their ninth and tenth seasons.

A million dollars each, per episode.

-Thanks very much. Now, Chris.

-Hello.

You're still the high scorers,

still the high scorers. But, who knows,

a low score from you might keep you in the game.

Chris, what do you do?

I write about tax for a living.

HE GASPS

Wow, that's, that sounds fun.

Er, to some people.

What kind of tax?

Which bits of tax do you write about?

All taxes and for professionals - for lawyers and accountants.

I edit a number of books

and I write about, specifically

about VAT for other people,

-but write about other taxes too.

-Good stuff.

Now, Chris.

-High scorer, we need a low score.

-Yeah, looking at the scores,

I think we need to be a bit...

aggressive here.

So, um,

I'm going to have to make something up

-LAUGHTER

-in order to go for...

-the zero answer.

-OK.

-So my answer is...

-Can I just tell you,

when people make things up, it ALWAYS scores zero.

-Yeah, so that's the only way, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Yeah, well I haven't been on before,

but I gathered that's how you do it, yeah.

So, my guess is

Penny and Luke, How I Met Your Mother,

their surname is Lane.

I like that.

Luke Lane, of course.

The famous song by Gerry And The Pacemakers. Um,

no red line for you as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Lane.

Ooh.

No, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, Chris,

-I'm sorry...

-I'm shocked.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200, sorry.

Yeah, that seems like too much of a risk, if anything, I have to say.

-Yes.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah.

It's not Lane, good names though, Luke Lane and Penny Lane,

-both lovely names.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Kirsty.

-Hello.

Welcome to Pointless, good to have you here.

Kirsty, what do you do?

I'm a dispenser in a pharmacy, I prepare care home medication.

Excellent. And what are your hobbies?

Um, a lot of DVD box sets,

so TV's quite a good round.

OK, good.

Yeah, just started a course on moons,

so, I'm hoping moons might come up, as well.

They do, occasionally, yeah.

How's that course going? Have you always had a fascination in moons?

-It's the first week, so not great.

-OK.

But I like moons because I like the mythological names.

I find that quite interesting.

Excellent. OK, now Kirsty, what are you going

to go for on this board?

I'm going to go for Mad Men and,

I think, Sally, Robert and Eugene are the Draper children.

"The Draper children," says Kirsty.

No red line for you as you are already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Draper.

It's right.

Look at that, 4.

That's a great score, Kirsty.

Lowest score of the round by quite a margin.

Takes your total up to 32.

Yeah, well played, Kirsty, terrific answer.

Yeah, Don and Betty Draper's kids in Mad Men.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Mark.

-You're already through, this is good news.

-It is good news.

A bye to Round Two.

Very well done, well played by saying nothing.

Mark, remind us what you do?

-I'm an electrician.

-You're an electrician?

Independent, you work for yourself?

I work for myself, I do a lot of,

do most of my work for one person, though.

Right. What do you do in your spare time, Mark?

I play golf badly,

I play cricket badly

and I go fishing.

Excellent. Do you watch television?

-Indifferently?

-Er...

Yes. Unfortunately...

Do you fancy talking us through all these answers?

-Not the programmes on there, though, that's the only thing.

-Argh.

Er, I think I've watched Dynasty once

and it might be Carrington, but I couldn't swear to it.

The rest of them, I haven't got a clue,

apart from the bottom one.

Which might be Kennedy, and that's what I'll go for.

OK, you're going to say Malcolm, Libby, Billy and Holly Kennedy.

No red line, you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Kennedy. Is it right?

It is right.

-14.

-APPLAUSE

14 takes your total up to 55,

very well done.

Well played, yeah, Neighbours rides to the rescue again.

They're the children of Karl Kennedy, they were by two different mothers.

It's a slightly better answer than Dynasty.

You're right about that as well, it was Carrington,

but would have scored you 15 points.

Nick, Janey and Michael from My Family are the Harpers.

That's a very good answer, would have scored you 12.

Edith, Sybil and Mary are the Crawleys.

23 points for that. And Penny and Luke is the best answer on the board.

You'll only know it if you watch the show,

which my kids do religiously.

They're the Mosbys.

That would have scored you 2, so best answer up there.

Thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

with their high score of 200, I'm afraid it's Chris and George.

Well, that's how you make an appearance on Pointless, isn't it?

That's an entrance, 200, there.

Our newest members of the 200 Club, we will see you again next time

and I'm sure you'll do much, much better than.

In the meantime, thanks for playing, Chris and George.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, three pairs remain. Obviously,

at the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

But, well played, everyone.

I think this is going to be a very exciting second round.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category today is...

Like I said, very exciting. County Cricket.

Can you all decide who's going to go first,

who's going to get second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people, 100 seconds to name...

As many cricket counties as they could that don't end in 'shire'.

Yeah, we're looking for any English or Welsh county cricket team

who played in the County Championship in 2013

or played in the Minor Counties Championship in 2013,

whose name doesn't end in 'shire', please.

So, any English or Welsh county

who played in either of those tournaments,

whose name does not end in 'shire'. Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Omar, over to you first.

Wow.

I'm just going to take an absolute stab in the dark and say Bath.

OK.

Let's just find out, is Bath right?

A cricket county.

No, Omar, I'm sorry.

Nice and clean, though.

But, um, I'm afraid not a cricket county.

Yeah, sorry, Omar, the people of Bath will tell you

time and time again that Bath is a county,

but they're not right, it isn't.

It's, "Come on, guys, you're kidding yourselves."

-Now, Kirsty.

-Yeah, um...

-Kirsty.

Yeah, not a good round.

I'd like to say that takes the pressure off, but it doesn't.

Um...

You could go for a county.

Yeah, well, I'm going to say one, it might not be a county,

but it doesn't end in 'shire', so...

-That's good.

-Yeah, it's a start.

I'm going to go for Rutland.

Rutland?

OK, let's find out. Is that right?

And if it is, how many of our 100 people said Rutland.

-Oh, I'm sorry, Kirsty.

-I made it up.

That's an incorrect answer, scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Kirsty. Rutland not a County Cricket team, I'm afraid.

OK.

Jayne.

I'm not sure at all.

LAUGHTER

I'm going to try and name a county,

but I don't know if they play cricket there.

So I'm going to go for 'Kent'.

CHEERING

-ALEXANDER SIGHS

-Jayne's saying 'Kent'.

How many people said it?

-That's a great answer, Jayne.

-Yay.

-Look at that, 39. Wonderful.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, one of the elite County Championship clubs, Kent.

-And it doesn't end in 'shire', does it?

-No.

RICHARD SIGHS And everyone knows it's a county.

-It's a county.

-No-one's going to say,

"I think you'll find Kent isn't a county.

"It hasn't been a county since 1963,

"when it became part of the unitary authority of Dover."

-Somebody will.

-Somebody will. Maybe they will now.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores. 39, the best score.

Well done, Jayne. You and Alan, I think,

you're going to make it to the head-to-head. Now,

Kirsty, Omar, two high scores there,

which means Glen and Mark,

it's between the pair of you.

One of you will be staying

and one of you will be leaving at the end of the round.

I wonder who it's going to be?

Best of luck, we're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-So, Alan. Didn't Jayne do well?

-She did,

-very well.

-That's a great answer.

You're as good as through.

What are you going to go for?

The high scorers, obviously, joint highest scorers on 100,

so 60 or less sees you through.

I could probably have a go at a few minor counties.

But in view of the way the scoreboard is,

I think I'll stay safe and...

Or, there's another way of looking at it,

"Hey, hey, they've scored 100."

You've got a bit of a leeway there, you've got a safety net, Alan.

You're trying, aren't you?

Um, no, I'm going to go with Durham.

Durham? OK, there's your red line, get below that with Durham,

you're in the head-to-head. Let's see how many people said Durham.

It's right.

-PING

-Very well done, you're through.

-31.

-APPLAUSE

Good answer. 70, nice round total there.

Well played, Alan, did exactly the right thing there as well.

-And ignoring you...

-Yeah.

-..I think was the right thing to do there.

-It's the safest thing to do.

-It always is.

Yeah, it's been a first-class county since 1991, Durham.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Glen,

remember what you have to do here.

Take a look at Mark. There he is.

Also, Mark, plays cricket, badly.

I'm just mentioning that by the bye.

-Plays cricket badly.

-OK.

Um, well, my cricket knowledge

isn't very good.

But my knowledge of the counties of England,

that's also not very good.

-Oh.

-Um...

-LAUGHTER

So, I will have a stab at...

Somerset.

No red line for you, you're joint high scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Somerset.

It's absolutely right.

Well, 39 is our high-scoring correct answer,

31 our lowest scoring, now it's 29.

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done. 129, Glen.

Is that enough to keep you in the game, I wonder?

Yeah, founded 1875. Didn't win a trophy for over 100 years,

then won two within the space of two days.

-Wow.

-They had that team in the '70s with

Botham and Viv Richards and Joel Garner.

Good stuff. Er, Mark, Mark,

-we have...we have a specific target.

-We do indeed.

It's 28 or less,

or it's, "Goodbye, Mark and Omar."

Right, um,

I shall go for Sussex.

"Sussex," says Mark.

There is your red line. If you get below that with Sussex,

you're in the head-to-head for the second time.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sussex.

It's right.

It's still... Oh, no! Look at that, 39.

Ooh, Sussex.

139, your total there.

Oh, I'm afraid... Yeah.

Was Chelmsford one?

-It's not a county.

-LAUGHTER

Oh, dear.

Yeah, Chelmsford isn't one, I'm afraid. Ever so sorry.

Sussex, of course, the best county.

-Best team, best county.

-Some say, don't they?

Yeah, yeah, scientifically proven.

Now, there's no pointless answers at all,

cos people know their cricket.

There's two very, very good answers in the Minor Counties Championship

because in there, you will find both Wales,

which would have scored you 1 point,

and Cumberland, which also would have scored you 1 point.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 139,

I'm afraid it's Mark and Omar.

We have to say goodbye,

but it's been great having you, thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Jayne and Alan, and Glen and Kirsty,

it's now time for the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Jayne and Alan, Glen and Kirsty,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £8,000.

AUDIENCE WHOOPS AND APPLAUDS

So here's where we decide who gets to play for that jackpot.

To do that, you are now going to go head-to-head.

Obviously, this time you're allowed to confer

before you give your answers. First pair to win two questions

will be playing for £8,000.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Booker Prize Winning Authors.

Booker Prize Winning Authors. Richard.

We'll show you five pictures of authors who won the Booker Prize

who we need you to identify the most obscure.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five authors,

and here they come. We've got...

There we are. Five authors who have won the Booker Prize.

Jayne and Alan, you go first.

-THEY WHISPER:

-I only know one - C.

-Who's that?

-Salman Rushdie.

OK. Um... We think we know two, but we're going to go with C.

OK, C?

-I think that's Salman Rushdie.

-Salman Rushdie.

C, Salman Rushdie.

Now, Glen and Kirsty, the rest of the board is yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

Um, there's only one that I'm reasonably sure of.

A, I'd have a guess at maybe Margaret Atwood.

And B, I've...

I remember reading recently that Ben Okri

has won the Booker Prize, so maybe that's him.

But I think we'll go for D, which is Hillary Mantel.

OK. D, Hillary Mantel.

So we have Salman Rushdie, we have Hillary Mantel.

Jayne and Alan said Salman Rushdie was C.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

51.

Glen and Kirsty have said that D is Hillary Mantel.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Hillary Mantel.

It's right.

And it wins you the points.

Look at that, 14 for Hillary Mantel!

Well done.

Glen and Kirsty, very well done. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yes, well played. I think Jayne did know that one. Jayne, if...

And if Jayne had said Hillary Mantel, what would you have gone for, Kirsty?

-Salman Rushdie.

-CONTESTANTS LAUGH

You think that you wouldn't have gone for a riskier one?

Um, no, too risky. I was just...just names that I recognised.

I didn't know their pictures.

OK. Well, sometimes in Pointless you just take a risk,

cos B is Ben Okri, and it's a pointless answer.

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw.

Well done if you said that at home. You've won the point anyway,

but would have been fun, wouldn't it?

-A is not Margaret Atwood, it's...

-Iris Murdoch.

-..Iris Murdoch.

She would have scored you 6 points.

I could tell at home, 90% of people, when they hear the category

of Booker Prize Winners, thinking, please,

let there be a picture of Salman Rushdie, otherwise I'm doomed here.

And there was indeed.

-And E...

-Julian Barnes.

-..is Julian Barnes, yeah.

And he would have scored you 3 points.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Best of luck, both pairs.

Jayne and Alan, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

It concerns...

The Royal Variety Performance.

The Royal Variety Performance. Richard.

Yeah, the Royal Variety Performance is like a live version

of the Booker Prize, really.

We're going to give you five clues now relating to the

Royal Variety Performance. Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

We have got...

HE READS BOARD

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are.

Five clues to facts about the Royal Variety Show.

Glen and Kirsty, you go first this time.

(Ballet dancer is Darcey Bussell.)

THEY CONFER IN WHISPERS

(Yeah.)

We're going to go for the ballet dancer,

later a Strictly judge, as Darcey Bussell.

"Darcey Bussell," say Glen and Kirsty. Darcey Bussell.

Now, Jayne and Alan, the rest of the board is all yours.

Shall we... Shall we go

for the king one and just put

a number on the end of it?

I don't know the number.

I'd go for the king one

and just say George the...

We'll have to go for the theatre.

-OK.

-OK.

We can't think of the number

of the king for that year.

We'll have a try at the theatre

in which it was held in 2013

and say London Palladium.

The London Palladium.

So, we have Darcy Bussell and the London Palladium.

Glen and Kirsty said Darcy Bussell. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

33.

33. Now, Jayne and Alan, you've taken a bit of a punt

on the London Palladium, the theatre it was held in 2013.

Let's see if it's right. If it is, maybe it will keep you in the game.

Let's find out if it's right, though.

-Oh, it's right.

-It's right!

Good answer

and it keeps you in the game, well done.

Back you come.

Well done, Jayne and Alan, after two questions, it's one all.

Yes, hosted more Royal variety performances than any other theatre.

You did well to overrule Jayne there.

I think, Jayne, you were suggesting George II. He died in 1760. It was...

It was George V. It was a George, but George V.

So, well played, Alan, there.

15 points for that.

The year the show was cancelled was 1956.

That would have scored you 12.

And the chat show host was Michael Parkinson,

and it's a pointless answer as well. So, well done if you said that.

-That's a tough one, wasn't it?

-Hm.

Thanks very much. So, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this, goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs.

It concerns...

-Poisonous Plants, Richard.

-We're going to show you

the names of five poisonous plants, but we've left out alternate letters.

Can you fill them in and give us the most obscure answer?

-Best of luck, both teams.

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five poisonous plants, and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Jayne and Alan, you'll go first this time.

INAUDIBLE WHISPERS

I know the fourth one down.

-It's laburnum.

-Yeah.

I don't think it'll be

-any of the others.

-Yeah, OK, fine.

I think we're safe with two.

So, we'll go...

..one up from the bottom.

And I think it's laburnum.

Laburnum, say Jayne and Alan. Laburnum.

Now, Glen and Kirsty. Talk us through the rest of the board.

We were thinking laburnum as well.

I think we only know two others,

-don't we?

-Yeah, the big two but

I don't think they're going to

beat laburnum.

I think we should just say hemlock.

Yeah, let's just go the hemlock.

Yes, I think we'll have to go for hemlock and lump it.

Hemlock and lump it.

LAUGHTER

OK, so, Jayne and Alan have gone for laburnum.

Let's see if it's right. And if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said laburnum.

It's right.

42.

42. Now, Glen and Kirsty have gone for hemlock.

Let's see that's right. And if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said hemlock.

It's right.

62

for hemlock, which means...

Well done, Jayne and Alan.

After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

Yeah, good head-to-head, both teams there.

Ivy, big scorer, of course.

Not 100, though. Would've scored you 94.

-Do you know this next one down?

-I'm going with monkshood.

Monkshood is the right answer, yeah.

Good answer. Would have scored you 8.

Best answer on the board. And the bottom one?

-It's henbane.

-Yes.

-Henbane.

-Yes, that's right.

Nasty stuff. It would've have scored you 11 points.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, I'm afraid the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

Glen and Kirsty, it is you.

Good news, though, this is your first appearance on Pointless.

We'll see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that very much.

Glenn and Kirsty, great contestants. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

But for Jayne and Alan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jayne and Alan.

You've seen off all the competition and you've won

our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £8,000.

AUDIENCE WOOS

Oo, now that's worth winning. OK, well, best of luck.

As always, you get to choose your category.

Four options for you to choose from. Here they are.

Um...

As far as I'm concerned,

the best of a bad bunch for me would be

-Irish and Northern Irish sport.

-OK.

Yeah, I don't know anything about any of them,

so I think we'll go for that one.

OK. Very good. Irish and Northern Irish sport, Richard.

Yeah, three very different questions

here that should go down very well in Northern Ireland.

I think you'll get a few pointless answers here. We are looking for...

Anybody who Rory McIlroy's played in the Ryder Cup in 2010 and 2012.

So, any of his opponents.

We are looking for any of Northern Ireland's incredible

1982 FIFA World Cup squad.

So, anybody who was in that squad.

Or we're looking for anyone from

Ireland's 2009 Rugby Union Grand Slam-winning team.

That's anyone that was on the pitch against Wales in their last game

or anyone on the replacements bench.

So, anyone Rory McIlroy has played in the Ryder Cup 2010, 2012.

The Northern Ireland 1982 Football World Cup squad

or the 2009 Rugby Union Grand Slam-winning team against Wales.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot, £8,000,

just in case I need to remind you,

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the board.

There they are, your time starts now.

-I don't know any, so this is over to you.

-That's a good start. Um...

Well, I think Pat Jennings might have still been around in '82.

I seem to recall Gerry Armstrong scoring

an important goal against Spain.

Um...

Brian Flynn is coming into my head,

but I'm not sure whether he was Northern or Southern Irish.

-Is that York manager... No?

-No, no.

Oh!

-Nigel Worthington.

-Nigel Worthington.

-That's a good shout.

-That's the only one that I know.

But again, I'm not sure which of the Irish teams he played for,

but he's definitely Irish.

Um...

-OK...

-It's up to you.

-Gerry Armstrong, Brian Flynn...

-Ten seconds left.

..and Nigel Worthington, I think.

-We'll go for that one?

-Yeah.

I think that's it, yeah.

OK. Well, there's your time up. I now need your three answers.

It's Northern Ireland's 1982 FIFA World Cup squad.

-All of them going to be from that?

-All from that, yeah.

OK, and they are?

-Gerry Armstrong...

-Gerry Armstrong...

-Brian Flynn...

-Brian Flynn...

-..and Nigel Worthington.

-..and Nigel Worthington.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably Nigel Worthington.

-I don't even know who it is.

Nigel Worthington, he goes last. Kind of your help there, Jayne.

That was a proper team effort, that one.

OK, Nigel Worthington we'll put last.

Which is your least likely to be pointless?

-Gerry Armstrong.

-Gerry Armstrong we'll pop first.

OK, let's pop those up in the board in that order, and here they are.

We've got...

Well, best of luck, three good answers there

and one that was properly a team effort, which is great.

Now, let's just hope one of these answers,

at least one of these answers, is pointless and wins you that jackpot.

What would you do with £8,000, Jayne?

I still haven't learned to drive,

so I think I'd definitely like to do that,

and then maybe a holiday.

OK. Alan, how about you?

Well, I put it on my application form

that it would go towards a new car for my wife,

so I don't think I'm going to get away with anything else now, so...

You shouldn't put that on the application form.

Or was she standing over your shoulder as...

-She filled it in for me.

-Oh, right.

-LAUGHTER

There we are. OK, well, best of luck.

Three good answers on the board, as I say.

Now, your first answer was Gerry Armstrong. You thought this was

probably your least likely to be pointless.

Remember, only one of these has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot. Let's find out though.

Gerry Armstrong, is that right?

If it is, how any people said it?

It's right.

Now, if this goes all the way down to zero,

you leave here with £8,000.

Gerry Armstrong now going down,

through the 20s, through the teens,

into single figures down it goes,

still going down, down.

AUDIENCE: Oh!

I thought it was...

2.

And that was the one you thought least likely to be pointless,

so it's all looking very good for your next two answers.

Sadly, not a pointless answer there.

Brilliant answer though, cracking low score.

-You'd be thrilled with that at any other point in the game.

-Yeah.

Sadly, it doesn't count in this round.

We only want pointless answers

Your next answer, though, was Brian Flynn,

again, a member of the 1982 World Cup squad.

Let's find out if it's right and if it's pointless.

If it is, it'll win you £8,000. Brian Flynn.

Oo, bad luck. An incorrect answer there, I'm afraid.

Which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

which is Nigel Worthington.

Bit of help from Jayne to help you get Nigel Worthington.

It would be sweetly poetic if this was correct and pointless.

Fingers crossed, let's hope it is. To win that jackpot of £8,000,

it has to go all the way down to zero.

Let's see how may people said Nigel Worthington.

Oh, no! I'm sorry.

APPLAUSE

Oh, I'm really sorry. That's cruel.

Lovely low score with your first answer, but I'm afraid

your other two were incorrect. So no pointless answer there,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £8,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But you've been fantastic across both shows you've been on.

It's been wonderful having you. You get a Pointless trophy each,

-so well done.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Unlucky. Valiant effort. I'll take you through the two wrong answers.

Brian Flynn, you weren't sure if he was from Northern Ireland

or from the Republic. He's from Wales, unfortunately.

And Nigel Worthington, he was Northern Irish.

Didn't start playing until 1984,

didn't start playing for Northern Ireland.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the other categories,

cos I know there'll be all sorts of people at home doing very well here.

I think more Pointless money has been one on obscure American golfers

than perhaps any other subject in history, and there's a few more here.

Also, could have had Hunter Mahan or Matt Kuchar. And I know people

would have got those at home. Those were the six pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the FIFA World Cup squad.

Billy Hamilton scored a couple of goals there.

Jimmy Nicholl, the former Man United player.

John McClelland, Martin O'Neill.

If fact, the only players who scored points were

Pat Jennings, who would have scored you 5 points,

Norman Whiteside, Gerry Armstrong, Felix Healy and Sammy McIlroy.

So everybody else in that category was pointless.

Well done if you said one at home.

Now, the Grand Slam-winning team from 2009.

The big scorers were Brian O'Driscoll

and Ronan O'Gara, perhaps unsurprisingly.

You, also, could've had David Wallace, Jerry Flannery,

John Hayes, Marcus Horan and Paul O'Connell.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Thanks, Richard. Well, we do have to say goodbye to you, Jayne and Alan,

but it's been great having you on. Thank you both for playing.

Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Well, Jayne and Alan didn't win our jackpots today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £9,000.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.