Episode 26 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hi. I'm Fiona.

This is my mum Denise and we're from Oldham.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, my name's Neil, this is my friend Will.

We're from Leamington Spa and Coventry.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Mark Sutton and this is Mark Taylor.

-We're from Newark-on-Trent.

-And finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name's June. This is my friend Ian.

I'm from St Albans and Ian is from South London.

And these are today's contestants.

-APPLAUSE

-Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll get to know more throughout the show.

That leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Like a petulant teenager, he's got an answer for everything.

He's going the right way about getting himself grounded.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hiya.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-I've barely got over the last show.

-Amazing, Glen and Kirsty.

-That was terrific.

The moons of the solar system, they had to name,

and they got two pointless answers.

Very, very impressive. Walked away with £9,000.

Nice little jackpot they got. But we continue. £1,000 is all right.

In some ways, it's better. LAUGHTER

-It's easier to carry.

-Yeah.

-That's the key.

Cos we pay you in pound coins, so actually, I felt a bit sorry

for them on the train home to Dundee with all that cash in those sacks.

A lot of it.

Fortunately, they had a team of staff to help them with it,

who they'd just employed with the huge fortune they'd just won.

But I think £1,000 is nicer.

-Yeah.

-Don't you? It's a nicer place to start.

We've got two returning pairs, Will and Neil,

who got beaten 2-1 in the head-to-head, by Glen and Kirsty.

-How would you have been on moons of the solar system?

-Not too bad.

We'd have got a couple.

RICHARD CHUCKLES I'm so not convinced by that.

I think we'd have been all right.

And Ian and June, who got through to the second round last time,

so we could see great things from them as well.

Thanks, Richard. Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are on the hunt for those vital pointless answers

to add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Glen and Kirsty won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, so the key thing for you all to remember is that the pair

with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's all.

Our first category today is...

Victorians.

Victorians.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Victorian novels, Richard.

We're going to show you a whole series of Victorian novels.

We need you to tell us who wrote them, please.

We're going to give you the initials of the author in brackets.

Thanks. So, let's reveal these Victorian novels.

You just have to tell us the authors.

Here's our first board of seven.

I'll read them again.

There we are. Seven Victorian novels, looking for authors.

Denise, what a treat it is to have you here. Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-You've come from where?

-We've come from Oldham.

-And what do you get up to in Oldham?

I work. I'm a cashier in a bank.

Oh, you get to do that speedy counting of money.

-Or do you have a machine that does that now?

-No... Well, we have both.

-You still do the...

-I still do, yes.

That's a skill I envy. What do you do when you're not cashiering?

I like going to the theatre. I love musicals. I love eating.

-Any kind of food.

-All excellent things.

Nothing wrong with any of those pastimes.

Now, Denise, what about Victorian novels?

-Do you look at that board and your heart sinks?

-A little bit.

I'm going to play safe and go for Barnaby Rudge

-and that's Charles Dickens.

-Charles Dickens, says Denise.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Charles Dickens.

It is of course right.

44.

Nothing wrong with that, Denise. 44 for Charles Dickens.

Well done, Denise. It was his first attempt at an historical novel.

You know that skill of counting money incredibly quickly?

Glen and Kirsty could use someone to do that right about now!

You can't really do it with pound coins!

It's going to be a bore... And on a train as well?

They're probably sleeping on it by now, on a bed of cash.

I honestly... £1,000 is slightly classier.

Oh, it's much nicer, isn't it?

It's a bit gauche, £9,000 isn't it?

A bit, "Look at me!"

I'd rather go back to my community with £1,000 than nine, any day!

Hold on, what am I talking about? Nine thousand - that's much better.

Anyway, Will, welcome back. Welcome back.

You and Neil work for a water company up in Nottinghamshire.

I've noticed that you and Neil, both impressive sleeves of tattoo there.

-Yes, we do.

-Neil, you only went with one arm?

I know, I need to win the jackpot to get the other one done!

-I see, you are going to do the other one?

-Yes, I will do.

I've got a tattoo of my left arm on my right arm

and my right arm on my left arm.

-Incredibly lifelike.

-Mirror images.

Now, Will. Victorian novels.

Not my strong point.

It was head-to-head last time, it's got to be the head-to-head

and more this time, surely?

I'm going to take a punt at The Invisible Man and say HG Wells.

HG Wells says Will for The Invisible Man.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

73 people said it, but it's right.

Yes, a big score there.

Amazing. It's a very, very famous book, of course.

And he's here now, which is lovely.

Oh, The Invisible Man!

Not HG Wells, HE'S not here! But The Invisible Man, there he is.

Look at that, health and safety!

Now, Mark T, welcome, good to have you here, what do you do?

I work for a council in Lincolnshire.

Can I ask what you do for the council in Lincolnshire?

-I'm head of the environment and waste department.

-Excellent.

Is that more stuff that you're picking up from people?

Yes, we collect the bins.

The department does lots of other things as well.

A lot of recycling, as well?

Once upon a time, we were the top recycling council in the country,

-but not any more, I'm afraid.

-Who overtook you?

Lots of people have overtaken us, I'm afraid.

Maybe it's time to pull your socks up in the recycling department.

And probably in this quiz, as well.

I'm not sure, what do you make of our Victorian novelists?

Well, I'm going to take a bit of a punt

and I think Sybil might be Benjamin Disraeli.

Benjamin Disraeli, says Mark, let's see if that's right

and let's see how many people said Benjamin Disraeli.

It's right.

That's a great answer.

It's a pointless answer, look at that, Mark T!

That adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to £1,250

and it scores you nothing - very, very well done.

Fantastic.

-Good work.

-Brilliant work, Mark, welcome to Pointless!

He later became Prime Minister as well, Benjamin Disraeli.

Teams where they have the same name always do well, don't they?

When we have a double Dave on the show, they always do well.

We have multi Mark here.

OK, now - Ian. Welcome back.

-We discovered last time you are an actor.

-Yes.

What do you do when you're not?

I'm a bit of a geek, I like to go to conventions.

I go to Buffy conventions and sci-fi conventions and meet the actors

and dress up and have a laugh with friends that are also geeky.

I like to do that.

Now, that's fun, how many Buffy conventions have you been to?

I've been to four Buffy conventions

-and one vampire ball which is True Blood and Buffy.

-A vampire ball?

Where's the vampire ball?

The vampire ball is out near Heathrow in one of the hotels.

-That sounds nice.

-That sounds fun.

I was hoping it might have been in Eastern Europe

or something like that.

Ironically, it doesn't suck!

OK, now, Ian - this board is all yours.

See how far down the board you can get.

I didn't know Disraeli.

It's a toss between Charlotte Bronte for Villette

or Robert Louis Stevenson, I think, was Jekyll and Hyde,

but I'm going to go for Charlotte Bronte.

Charlotte Bronte, says Ian, let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

15.

Very well done, Ian, that's a great answer.

Well played, Ian, you chose the right one, as well,

because Robert Louis Stevenson was right, but a much bigger scorer.

It would have scored you 53 points.

The History of Pendennis, William Makepeace Thackeray,

that would have scored five. The Woman in White, Wilkie Collins.

That would have scored you 18.

Disraeli, the best answer there by a mile.

-Well done if you did well on that board.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Mark T, look at that, very, very well done.

A wonderful answer there with Benjamin Disraeli.

Then up to 15 where we find Ian and June,

up to 44 for Denise and Fiona.

Then 73 for Will and Neil, our head-to-headers last time.

Neil, it's on your shoulders.

Best of luck, we'll come back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more novels on the board and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

-June, you're back, good to see you.

-Thank you, did you miss me?

Did we ever! We were just saying before.

We were going on about it, weren't we?

We miss you and we miss that £8,000

that's missing from the jackpot, as well.

-I'm guessing you're missing that probably more.

-About the same.

I feel better now.

June, you're on 15, a brilliant score from Ian on the first pass.

-That's probably ruined that, but never mind!

-Well, let's see.

73 is the high score from Neil and Will.

You are on 15, so a score of 57 or less keeps you in the game.

The only one I really know is going to be quite high which is annoying.

I'm just trying to see the other ones.

I'll probably have to go for the one I know

which is The Picture of Dorian Gray, Orson Welles.

Please, is that wrong?

-That probably is wrong.

-Orson Welles, says June.

-Oh, no!

I've just suddenly realised who it is, never mind.

I'll tell you what,

thanks to the brilliant score of Ian on the first pass,

it may not be the end of the world, you still may be in with a shout.

There's your red line, if you get below that with Orson Welles,

you're definitely in the next round. Let's see if Orson Welles is right.

Oh, I'm sorry, June.

-I'm afraid an incorrect answer, you probably know why.

-Yes.

That scores you the maximum of 100 points, takes your total to 115.

Exemplary work on the initials, June. That's terrific.

-Orson Welles, born in 1915, I'm afraid...

-Yeah.

..and he didn't write that.

That's a minor quibble.

Yes, I would have been better on the other round, but never mind.

Mark S, how well did Mark T do?

-Better than I'm going to do, that's for sure.

-Really?

There's good news, which is, you're already through.

That takes a lot of pressure off. Mark, what do you do?

I'm a credit controller for a large electrical company.

What are your hobbies, how did you and Mark meet, for example?

-We play poker together. He's very good and I'm very bad.

-Really?

I'm putting his kids through college!

What sort of poker do you play?

-We play Texas Hold'em.

-How good is your poker face, Mark?

That's my problem, actually. When I get a good hand, I go, "Oh!"

Then I suddenly realise I shouldn't have done that.

All you have to do now is occasionally,

when you have a bad hand, go, "Oh!"

Then they'll soon learn.

-Quite often I don't actually know the difference!

-Yes, I see.

OK, you're through, this is good news.

So have a wander down that board and see if you can find something.

-The top one is Jerome K Jerome.

-Jerome K Jerome says Mark.

No red line because you're already through

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Jerome K Jerome.

It's a good answer, 31, well done.

Third lowest score of the round so far.

31 is your total.

Published in 1889, followed up by Three Men on the Bummel.

-Is that a river?

-Let's hope so.

LAUGHTER

-OK, now, Neil.

-Hello.

-Neil.

-Hello.

-Neil.

-Hello.

Erm, now... Yes, OK. So, Neil - remind us what you get up to.

Erm...I... Non-physical sports.

-Such as poker, snooker, darts...

-Darts.

-How's your pool? Pool good?

-Yeah, not too bad, yeah.

-And reading?

How are you feeling about Victorian novelists?

This is possibly one of the worst subjects we could have got.

Any of them will be a complete and utter guess.

So, I'm going to go for The Mill On The Floss, George Eliot.

George Eliot, says Neil. There's your red line. Get below that with George Eliot,

you're in the next round. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

You've done it... Just!

39. 41 was required,

39 you got. 112 is your total, well done, Neil.

Yeah, very well played, Neil. It's a terrific answer.

-Saved himself there, eh?

-Mm. Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Fiona. Welcome.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here. From Oldham?

-Yes.

-What do you do, Fiona?

-Erm...I'm a law student.

What are your interests outside law?

I like baking. I can't cook to save my life,

despite the fact that my dad keeps trying to teach me

before I go out into the big, wide world.

But, yeah, baking. Mainly because I just like eating cakes.

-Nothing wrong with that.

-No.

-Now, Fiona, there you are.

You're on 44, the high-scorers on 115 are Ian and June.

So, 70 or less keeps you in the game. Are you confident?

I know two. Far From The Madding Crowd, I think is Thomas Hardy.

And The Picture Of Dorian Gray,

I think, sorry, June, is Oscar Wilde.

Oscar Wilde, yeah, I know it who is.

And I'm just trying to work out which one might be less than 70.

Erm... I'll go with Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy.

Thomas Hardy, says Fiona. There's your red line, get below that,

you're in Round Two.

How many people said Thomas Hardy?

It's right.

And you're through. Well done, Fiona.

53.

97 is your total.

Yeah, very well played, Fiona.

Actually, you would have scored fewer points for Oscar Wilde.

I mean, not that many fewer, it's 48 points that would have scored you.

Now, these are the three... Can You Forgive Her?

-I bet you know that? Anthony Trollope.

-It's Trollope, yes.

10 points. Do you know Lord Jim?

It's Joseph Conrad, it would've scored you 9.

And New Grub Street is the best answer on the board,

-which is George Gissing.

-Gissing, yes.

-1 point.

-Very well done if you said that.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair heading home

with a high score of 115, it's June and Ian.

Oh, I'm sorry. It was Round Two last time.

I know, it's my fault, because I was thinking...

I was thinking "Oscar Wilde - don't say Orson Welles,

"don't say Orson Welles."

What did I say? I said, Orson Welles. I was, like, "Argh!"

-It's good to have it confirmed that it's your fault.

-It is my fault.

You know, it's not often I admit to it being my fault,

but this time, it really is my fault.

It's been lovely having you on the show, June and Ian. Thanks very much for playing.

I'm sorry, this is where we have to say goodbye, but thank you.

-June and Ian.

-Bye.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so there were three pairs. At the end of this round we have to say goodbye to another pair

in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, a special mention to you, Mark T, a pointless answer.

We haven't had a pointless answer in play for a very, very long time.

But that was terrific, really. Very, very well done.

Well played the rest of you. Good stuff.

Our category for Round Two is...

R&B...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Soul and R&B girl groups. Richard...

Yeah, we're about to show you the names of five all-girl bands,

you just need to tell us the name of any UK Top 40 single,

which has been released by one of these groups.

So, any single which has them as a named artist that reached

the Top 40 before February 2014, please.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, as Richard just mentioned, we're going to put the names of five Soul and R&B girl groups

up on the board, we just need any UK Top 40 hit by any of these bands.

Let's reveal those bands, here they are...

Denise, you go first.

I'm going to go with...

Erm...Baby Love.

Baby Love, says Denise.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 said, Baby Love.

It's right.

39.

39, Denise, well done.

Yeah, good answer, Denise. The Supreme's first and only UK number one,

written by the famous Holland-Dozier-Holland songwriting team.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Neil.

I think it's by TLC, I'm going to go for Waterfalls.

Waterfalls, says Neil.

Let's see if Waterfalls is right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Well, 39 is our current score.

Waterfalls passes that.

12.

-Not bad, Neil.

-Yeah, great answer. Great song, as well.

-Waterfalls from 1995. CeeLo Green sings backing vocals on it.

-Does he?

-Yeah, pre-fame CeeLo Green.

-Ah... He sang on loads of things, didn't he?

-Yeah, he did, yeah.

-OK, now, Mark S...

Not a good round for us, either. Erm...

-I'll go for, I'm Thinking Of You by Sister Sledge.

-I'm Thinking Of You.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

I'm Thinking Of You.

It's right.

Well, 39 our high score, 12 our low.

You've passed the high.

You've passed the low.

It's a pointless answer.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I tell you, those Marks are onto something, here.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to £1,500.

It scores you nothing. Very well done, indeed.

Well, if this is your idea of a terrible round...

That's nice, one pointless each for the Marks. That's nice, isn't it?

Yeah, written by Chic's Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers,

Thinking Of You.

-It's a great song.

-Yeah.

-It is a fine song. Well done, Mark. Great score there, as well.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores. Nought, the best score of that pass.

Then up to 12 where we find Neil and Will. 39, Denise and Fiona.

So, Fiona...little bit of pressure on you at this stage.

You're going to need to find a nice low-scoring answer.

We'll have to hope that's enough to keep you in the game. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Mark T, we're looking for the title of any UK Top 40 hit

by any of these five Soul and R&B girl groups.

Yeah, it's not going to be a pointless answer this time.

I have a feeling Sister Sledge might have done Frankie.

Frankie, says Mark. Frankie.

OK, here's your red line. You want to be scoring 38 or less

to avoid becoming the new high-scorers.

Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 people said Frankie?

Absolutely right.

Very well done, you are through.

12.

Which gives you a total of 12.

Yeah, another number one single, that time from 1985.

-And that was Sister Sledge's only number one.

-Thanks very much, Rich.

-Now, Will.

-Hiya.

-How are you feeling?

-Erm...

I've got two in my mind...

I don't know whether to play the risky one or not.

But I think I'm just going to go for it.

-TLC, No Scrubs.

-No Scrubs.

There is your red line, if No Scrubs gets you below that,

you're in the head-to-head. Let's see how many of our 100 people said No Scrubs, is it right?

It's right.

And you're through. Very well done, indeed.

6 for No Scrubs.

Takes your total up to 18.

Well played, Will. That's my favourite, I think, of any of the songs on this board.

-No Scrubs by TLC. One of the most played songs in the history of radio airplay.

-Really?

-Yeah.

The people who make those nose scrubs must have been very pleased with that?

-It must have been...

-Exactly.

-..just free advertising for them, isn't it?

-Amazing for them.

-Amazing.

Thanks very much, indeed. Now, Fiona. Oh, Fiona.

I'm sorry, you haven't had a chance even to redeem yourself yet.

-Oh, well.

-Not that you needed redeeming.

Not that Denise needed redeeming either, of course.

39, nothing wrong with that as a score.

It's just everyone else seemed to know their girl groups really well.

I'm particularly thinking of the far podium over there,

who said, "Oh, this is a terrible round for us." Pointless and 12.

Anyway, Fiona, have you got a brilliant answer?

Growing up, I was quite a big Destiny's Child fan.

We'll go with Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny's Child.

-Bills, Bills, Bills...

-I hope it was a top 40.

OK, let's see, Bills, Bills, Bills.

No red line for you, sadly, because you are already our high-scorers.

But how many people said Bills, Bills, Bills?

It's right.

Redeemed.

It looks like it's going to be a low score. Look at it. Down it goes...

It's 1, Fiona.

Well, I tell you what, it rounds your total up to 40,

which is a nice round number.

But, yeah, I'm afraid too little too late.

-But, still, a great answer.

-Yeah, great answer, Fiona. Well played.

That's another one of my favourites,

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers...

You could have had Bug A Boo, that's Destiny's Child.

Two more TLC songs here, Diggin' On You and Girl Talk.

Little Mix, How Ya Doin'? Would have been a pointless answer.

The Supremes I Second That Emotion, also by The Supremes, I'm Gonna Make You Love Me.

Destiny's Child, No, No, No. Thinking Of You, by Sister Sledge

and The Supremes, Why (Must We Fall In Love).

Well done if you've got one of those at home. Let's take a look at the top three answers.

The ones that most of our 100 people said.

Frankie, actually the third highest answer of all.

We Are family, Sister Sledge, again. And Baby Love, I'm afraid, Denise.

Right up the top there, 39 points. Long way ahead of pretty much anything.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high-ish score of 40, I'm afraid it's Fiona and Denise.

You haven't done badly at all, you know.

You're not leaving on the back of a 100 score, it's 40,

it's very respectable.

Anyway, it all bodes very well for when we next see you.

We'll look forward to that very much indeed. Fiona and Denise.

But for the Marks and Will and Neil, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations Mark and Mark, Will and Neil,

you're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,500.

Well, now we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that, you are going to go head-to-head.

The difference, of course, is

you're now allowed to confer before you give your answers

and the first player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Famous Bruces, Rich.

-You're going to see five pictures now of people who have Bruce

somewhere in their name, can you name the most obscure of these?

OK, let's reveal our five famous Bruces and here they come...

We've got...

There we are, five famous Bruces..

The Marks, you will go first because you scored the lowest throughout the show so far.

THEY WHISPER INAUDIBLY

We're going for E.

I think it's the film star and Laura's dad,

-Bruce Dern.

-Bruce Dern.

Bruce Dern, say the Marks.

Now, Will and Neil, do you want to talk us through the other Bruces..

Yeah. A is Fiona Bruce,

B is Bruce Dickinson,

C is Bruce Campbell.

And D is Ken Bruce.

Who are we going to go for?

I think we'll go C.

-C, Bruce Campbell.

-OK, C, Bruce Campbell.

So we have Bruce Dern versus Bruce Campbell.

Now, the Marks have gone for Bruce Dern, E.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Bruce Dern, for E.

It's right.

That's a great answer, 7 for Bruce Dern.

Well done. Will and Neil, meanwhile, have said that C Bruce Campbell.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bruce Campbell.

It's right.

It's going to have to beat 7, though.

Is it going to do... It is!

Look at that, 6! 6 for Bruce Campbell.

HE LAUGHS

I knew this was going to be an excellent head-to-head round.

Very well done. Will and Neil, after one question you're up one-nil.

Brilliant Bruce work from both teams there.

It's the best two answers on the board. Bruce Campbell - famously, he has bit-parts in lots of films.

He's written a book about it and all sorts of things.

And Bruce Dern, as you say, father of Laura.

Both nominated for Oscars in their time.

Fiona Bruce, obviously is A.

Biggest scorer up there, 75 points.

B is Bruce Dickenson, as you say.

Lead singer of Iron Maiden amongst his many other talents.

That would have scored you 11 points.

D is the lovely Ken Bruce.

And Ken Bruce would have scored you 29 points.

Thanks very much indeed. So, here comes your second question.

The Marks, you have to win back here, otherwise it'll be goodbye.

Best of luck. Our second question concerns...

That's nice. We never really make enough space for love in this show.

I think you are exactly right. It's time we do now.

We're going to give you five clues now to answers all of which contain the word love

somewhere in the answer. Either as a stand-alone word or part of a longer word.

So, the answers to all of these clues contain the word love.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal the five clues and here they come...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, then. Will and Neil, you will go first.

Erm... We're going to go for the top one,

the Joy division track is Love Will Tear Us Apart.

Love Will Tear Us Apart, say Will and Neil.

Now, the Marks, talk us through the board.

The second one down is Love Actually.

I don't know the DH Lawrence novel, but I know you do.

-That's Sons and Lovers, I think.

-Yeah.

-And I don't know the bottom one.

-Oh, What A Lovely War! That one?

But the Roadrunner singer, Jonathan Richman band, is The Modern Lovers.

The Modern Lovers.

OK, we have Love Will Tear Us Apart and we have The Modern Lovers.

Will and Neil said Love Will Tear Us Apart.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

27.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad score.

The Marks have gone for The Modern Lovers,

this being Jonathan Richman's band, let's see if that's right,

The Modern Lovers, how many people said it?

It's right.

If it beats 27, you're back in the game and it does. Very well done.

10.

APPLAUSE

10 for The Modern Lovers, well done.

The Marks are back. After two questions, it's one-all.

Yeah, again the best answer on the board, The Modern Lovers.

This is the way to play a head-to-head, terrific stuff.

You knew the Richard Curtis film, Love Actually.

Big scorer, though.

It would have scored you 68.

You also knew the bottom one, the musical, Oh, What A Lovely War!

It would've scored you more points again, it would've scored you 20.

But the DH Lawrence sequel is actually Women In Love.

-Would have scored you 13 points.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, it all comes down to question number three.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

It concerns...

-Famous ski resorts, Richard.

-We're going to show you the names of five famous ski resorts,

but with alternate letters missing. Can you fill in the gaps? Whoever does will be playing for the jackpot.

OK, let's reveal our five famous ski resorts and here they are with bits missing.

I'll read those all one last time.

The Marks will go first.

THEY WHISPER INAUDIBLY

( I don't know this. It is, yeah.)

(What are they going to go for?)

I think we're going to go for the second one, the Canada. We think it's Whistler.

Whistler, say the Marks. Whistler.

Now, then - Will and Neil, talk us through the rest of the board, if you can.

We like Whistler, as well.

Aspen, Val d'Isere.

-We don't know the other two, effectively. So...

-Aspen.

-Aspen.

You're going to go for Aspen. So, we have Whistler versus Aspen.

Now, the Marks said Whistler.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Whistler.

It's right.

20.

APPLAUSE

20, for Whistler.

Will and Neil have gone for Aspen. Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

51.

Very well done. After three questions, the Marks go through to the final, two-one.

Brilliant play there, by the two Marks.

There were two answers that would have beaten Whistler.

The two you didn't know, unfortunately.

Cos Val d'Isere would've scored too many points.

Val d'Isere would've scored 39.

-Now, the bottom one...

-Is Zermatt.

-..is Zermatt, in Switzerland, yeah.

It would've scored 12 points, as well. It would've been a terrific answer.

-And the top one...

-Courchevel.

-Courchevel, yep. And that would've scored 5 points.

So, the best answer by a mile. Very well done if you got that one at home.

-That was a good head-to-head, wasn't it?

-Yeah, wasn't it?

-Blimey.

-Very good indeed.

The pair leaving us at the end of that head-to-head is Will and Neil, but you've played so well.

What a blinder. You nicked that first question.

You broke their serve with Bruce Campbell. That was a fantastic round.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you,

but you've been such good contestants.

You've been through to the head-to-head each time. Yeah, good work.

Well done, sorry we have to say goodbye, though. Will and Neil.

APPLAUSE

But for Mark and Mark, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Mark T, Mark S. You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,500.

I'm sorry it's not a bigger jackpot,

because certainly this has been a bit of an epic performance.

We've had a Pointless from you in each round. Very, very well done.

As always, you get to choose your category in this round.

There are four things on the board for you to choose from, let's see what they are.

Do you like American sitcoms?

Well, I know more than I do about the '20s.

And New Zealand and World Footballers is so...

innocuous as a question.

-We're going to have to go for that, then.

-Yeah.

-All right, it's American Sitcoms.

-American sitcoms it is. Richard...

Good luck, gents. You've been brilliant at everything we've thrown at you.

Hopefully, you can continue that run here. We are looking for the name of any actor or actress

who's been credited with 25 or more performances in Seinfeld,

25 or more performances in Frasier,

or 25 or more performances in Roseanne.

So, according to IMDb, any actor or actress who has had 25 or more performances

in one of those three American sitcoms. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

-is for just one of those answers to be Pointless. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock, there they are.

Your time starts now.

-Well, what do you think?

-Well, Seinfeld, obviously Jerry Seinfeld.

-Yeah.

-And Roseanne Barr.

-Yeah, very good.

-You've got Kelsey Grammer out of Frasier.

-Kelsey Grammer, yeah.

But I think they're not going to be very low scores...

What's the name of the woman from Bolton who's in Frasier?

-The one from Bolton?

-Yeah, Jane...

-What, the English girl? Yes.

-Was it Jane?

-Jane... Jane something.

-It's the one in...

I think we've picked a bad round, here. Can we choose again?

Who was the one that he was in Cheers as well, that was in Frasier?

-The woman?

-The one that was...

-We're not going to get anywhere with these, are we?

-No.

I'm really struggling. I saw her on the telly last night and I can't think of her name.

-Oh, was she married to the little guy?

-Yeah.

Ten seconds left.

I don't know. I don't think we're going to do this.

-I don't think so.

-No.

It's a disaster, we should have picked something else.

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

-What are you going to give me?

-Well, it's not looking very good, is it?

-We've only got Jerry Seinfeld out of Seinfeld.

-OK, Jerry Seinfeld.

-Kelsey Grammer out of Frasier.

-Kelsey Grammer.

-And Roseanne Barr out of Roseanne.

-Roseanne Barr.

-I tell you what, three good answers.

-They might be right!

The three main characters don't actually mean that it's going to be...

Anyway, what order would you like them to go in?

I think it really matters little.

Why don't we start from the top and work down as we are now.

-So, Seinfeld at the top...

-Seinfeld will go first.

-Kelsey Grammer in the middle.

-Kelsey Grammer in the middle. And Roseanne Barr can go last.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We've got... Jerry Seinfeld, Kelsey Grammer

and Roseanne Barr.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Three perfectly good answers there.

We'll discover how many people might or might not have said them.

But what if one of them turned out to be pointless?

£1,500. Mark, what would you do with your share of that?

Well, in that unlikely event, we do like to go on city breaks, myself and my wife,

-so we'd probably go on a city break somewhere.

-Good.

But I'd also like to give some money to a school I support in Zambia, in Lusaka.

-So, I'll give a donation to them, as well.

-Mark?

-I'd like to give it to a wife I support, in Newark.

LAUGHTER

OK, I just really wish, I wish we'd given you a category

you'd have had more fun with. I'm sorry. Anyway, there we are.

Your first answer was Jerry Seinfeld. Nothing wrong with any of these answers, I'm pretty sure.

Let's find out if Jerry Seinfeld's right, for Seinfeld.

Was he in Seinfeld? And if he was how many people said it?

If it's pointless, you'll win £1,500.

Well, it's right.

Let's see how far down the column Jerry Seinfeld takes us. Down...

Well, it's going through the 30s, into the 20s.

29. There we are, 29, for Jerry Seinfeld.

Not a pointless answer. Two more shots at today's Pointless jackpot.

Your second answer, we were looking for cast members of Frasier,

in this case you said Kelsey Grammer.

Let's just find out how many people said Kelsey Grammer.

Well, it's right.

Jerry Seinfeld took us all the way down to 29.

Kelsey Grammer, I wonder where he...

Oh, 29, as well. Look at that.

APPLAUSE

Well, that's nice, there's parity between the pair of them.

That's good, they'll be pleased with that.

Only one more chance to win today's jackpot, you never know.

In this case we were looking for cast members of Roseanne and you said Roseanne Barr.

If it's pointless, you'll win £1,500.

And I'll eat this podium.

LAUGHTER

Let's find out, how many people said Roseanne Barr?

Well, it's right. Jerry Seinfeld took us to 29, Kelsey Grammer to...

Oh, 55. Well...

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Well, interesting to see what their different scores were.

I'm interested that Jerry Seinfeld and Kelsey Grammer scored so much,

SO much lower than Roseanne Barr.

But we gave you a pig of a category there,

it didn't really fit your particular areas of expertise.

You didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

So, you don't win today's jackpot of £1,500.

That now rolls over onto the next show.

But you have been phenomenal right across the show. It's been great to have you on.

I'm sorry we didn't give you, as I say, something better to play with in this last round.

You, of course, get a Pointless trophy each to take home for your troubles.

Very, very well done, Mark and Mark.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, I think Roseanne probably the biggest scorer there.

Seinfeld was never a big hit show over here, ever. It's always been a niche show.

Whereas, Roseanne was a big hit show. Kelsey Grammer, his name's not in the title.

So, you know, I think that's why Roseanne Barr is the biggest scorer.

The British actress you were thinking of from Frasier is Jane Leeves.

Would have scored you 5 points, though, if you'd said, Jane Leeves.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers. Fans of the shows would have done well on this.

George Costanza's parents are played by Estelle Harris

and Ben Stiller's dad, Jerry Stiller.

They were both pointless answers. Ruth Cohen, Wayne Knight who plays Newman.

Also, in all sorts of films, in Jurassic Park, lots of things. They were all pointless.

Let's take a look at Frasier. There's only three answers, all of them work at the radio station.

Dan Butler, who's Bulldog. Edward Hibbert, who's Gil Chesterton.

And Tom McGowan who plays Kenny Daly.

And the answers for Roseanne...

you could have had Estelle Parsons.

Becky's husband, played by Glenn Quinn.

Laurie Metcalf who was Roseanne's sister in the show.

And Sandra Bernhard the American comedienne, also a pointless answer.

I think a few people at home would have got that one.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Mark and Mark,

but it's been brilliant having you on the show and you have been phenomenal.

Very, very well done. Thank you so much for playing. Mark and Mark.

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, the Marks didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.