Episode 3 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome

to Pointless, the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one...

-Hi, I'm Kate, this is Fred.

I'm from Leeds and Fred's from Hertfordshire.

-Couple number two...

-Hello, I'm Derek, this is my lovely daughter

Katie and we're from Worthing in Sussex.

-Couple number three...

-Hi, I'm Brian this is my friend Lee.

I'm from Manchester, he's from Sheffield.

-And finally couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Angus, this is my wife Michelle

-and we're from Bedford.

-And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about each of you throughout

the show as it goes along. So, that just leaves one more person

for me to introduce. Now patronising our players in high definition,

-it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody. Hiya.

-How are you, today?

-I can't complain.

-Excellent.

Er, I still can't get over that last show, unbelievable, wasn't it?

-Chev and Danny.

-I know.

-It was football, 19th century football,

sounds rather dry. But you had to name various things. Three answers...

-..all three of them pointless.

-All pointless.

-Three pointless answers.

-Doesn't happen very often, does it?

-No.

-Absolutely terrific from Danny.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, as usual, all of today's

questions have been put to 100 people before the show

and our contestants are on the hunt for those answers that

our 100 people couldn't get. If anyone finds a pointless answer,

we will of course add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Chev and Danny won the jackpot last time, so today's jackpot

starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, now all you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated, so do everything you can

to make sure it's not you. OK, our first category today, is...

World Geography. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever is going first please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, and here it comes.

We gave 100 people, 100 seconds to name as many capital cities

of countries beginning with A, B, C, or D, as they could

Capital cities of countries beginning with A, B, C, or D.

-Richard.

-Yeah, you're looking for any country in the world

whose name begins with A, B, C, or D.

We're looking for the capital of any of those, please.

So, what are their capitals?

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that's a member of the UN in its own right. Very, very best of luck.

OK. Now, to make it a little bit easier for you we're going to put

a little reminder up on the board of what we want those countries

to begin with. Not the capital cities you're going to give.

-There we are...

-That's handy, that is handy.

-Those are going to stay up there the whole way through it.

We're not going to change those letters halfway through the round.

Just as a little aide memoir for you. Well, just in case anyone

forgets what those letters look like.

That's them in the uppercase. C, interestingly, remains much the same

in the lower case, as well. That's a...

..a bit of take-home there for you.

-And we've got one letter there with vertical symmetry, that's A.

-Yeah.

And one letter with horizontal. No actually two, three with horizontal.

Three. The other three have horizontal symmetry, which is quite something.

But, A, very much the only one there with vertical symmetry.

There you go. Now then, Kate. Welcome back.

Welcome, our only returning pair. Anyway, remind us what you do, Kate.

I'm a student at the University of Birmingham studying geography,

-with computer science.

-Geography?

-Yeah.

-So, you've got to fancy your chances...

-I shouldn't have said that, should I?

-No, you shouldn't have said that.

-Are you feeling confident about this?

-I think so, I hope so.

OK. It's quite complicated, isn't it? A country beginning with

one of those letters but we're after the capital city.

The capital of Andorra, which I believe is also called Andorra.

-Andorra.

-Mm-hmm.

-Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see

how many of our 100 people said Andorra.

-Ooh, no, Kate!

-What?! I could have sworn it is.

-We will find out why that is wrong.

-Oh.

-Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, I was all ready to say, "That's more like it!"

I'm afraid it's less like it.

-I'm really sorry, 100 points. Richard...

-Yeah, sorry Kate.

Not the capital of Andorra, I'm afraid. I'll tell you what it is

-at the end of the pass.

-OK. Sorry.

-(That's all right.)

-OK. Now Katie, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Welcome, and what do you do, Katie?

-I am a secondary school drama teacher.

-That's fun.

-How long have you done that for?

-The last four years.

-Do you love it?

-I really do love it, yes.

-And what are your productions at the moment?

-What are you working on?

-We have done Guys and Dolls in the past.

-That was our latest production.

-Did you direct it?

-Yes.

-Good. I was Sky Masterson in Guys and Dolls.

-Oh, were you?

-Yes.

-I can see that.

-Yeah, thank you.

It's a good part, that's what she means, I think. I'm taking that as a compliment.

Now then, we are looking for capital cities.

-How are you on capital cities?

-Well, geography is not my strongest suit,

but I did go InterRailing around Eastern Europe with my husband,

a few you years back. And I seem to remember that the capital of Croatia is Zagreb.

Zagreb, says Katie. Let's see if that's right and if it is let's see

how many of our hundred people said Zagreb?

It's right.

Wow! Oh, very well indeed Katie. 5 for Zagreb, good answer.

APPLAUSE

It's been in existence since about 1053, Zagreb.

-Well, that's the first time it's mentioned.

-Thanks very much.

-Now, Lee, welcome.

-Thank you very much.

-Welcome to Pointless,

-what do you do, Lee?

-I'm a nurse practitioner

in a pre-operative assessment unit in Sheffield.

-Pre-operative assessment means, what?

-It means I see patients when

they've got surgeries planned and I just make sure that they're as fit,

or fit enough to have the surgery.

And what you get up to in your spare time, Lee?

Well, I love tennis, I play a lot of tennis competitively and socially.

-And I also love the theatre.

-Fantastic.

-Lee, what are you going to go for?

-I think I'm going to go with

-the capital of Azerbaijan is Baku.

-Baku, says Lee, Baku.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Baku.

It's right. Well, 100, our high score, you've passed that.

5 is our low.

You passed that too. Very well done, Baku gets you two.

APPLAUSE

That's a terrific answer. Yeah, very well played.

In the late 19th century, it was a massive boom town, Baku.

-It produced half the world's oil.

-Did they?

-Yeah, they did indeed.

That's good.

-Now then, Angus.

-Hello.

-A very warm welcome to you.

-Thank you.

-Here from Bedford?

-Yep.

-What do you do, Angus?

-I'm a warehouse assistant.

-OK, and what are your hobbies, Angus?

I like football and greyhound racing is a passion of mine.

-Is it? Do you have greyhounds, or do you just follow?

-No, I follow.

I've owned greyhounds in the past with friends,

but since I got married and we've got a family, that takes priority.

Quite right. OK, now, Angus. Capital cities, how do we feel about that?

Yes, it's not a bad one for me, actually. I quite enjoyed geography

at school. So, I thought I'd head the South American route

and go for Argentina's capital Buenos Aires.

OK, Buenos Aires, says Angus. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

14.

APPLAUSE

-14 for Buenos Aires.

-Yeah, well played, Angus.

Capital of Argentina. It's got the, one of the world's widest streets,

-right down the middle of Buenos Aires.

-Thank you very much.

Let's take a look at those scores. 2, the best score of that pass, Lee.

Very well done indeed. Up to 5, where we find Katie and Derek.

Up to 14, where we find Angus and Michelle. And, oh, I'm sorry Kate...

-That's OK.

-I'm sorry, you are out there in front. Anything could

happen in the next pass though. We're going to come back down the

line now. Could the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, we are looking for capital cities of countries whose

names begin with, A, B, C, or D.

-Now, Michelle.

-Hello.

-Welcome to pointless.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Michelle?

-I'm a paralegal.

-I'm longing to know

-what a paralegal is.

-You know what paralegal is,

it's someone who works in a court, but comes in by helicopter.

That's kind of what... That is genuinely what I think

-it probably is. What is it?

-Well, I work for a firm of trademark attorneys.

So, I just assist them with the work they do, brand protection

and they do the complicated stuff, I do the easy stuff.

OK, there you are, you're on 14. Good answer from Angus there.

The high scorers are Fred and Katie on 100. So, 85 or less will keep you

in the game for sure.

I did have one that came to my mind straightaway,

but I think it might be a bit too risky.

So, I think Djibouti has got a capital city,

which is also called Djibouti.

-OK. This didn't work so well last time.

-No.

-But we'll find out.

-That's what I was thinking.

-There is your red line, if you can get below

that you're definitely in the next round.

Let's see if Djibouti is right, for Djibouti.

It's right! Very well done and you are through to the next round.

One! The best score of the round so far. Takes your total up to 15.

-Richard.

-Very well played, Michelle. Yeah, we had Djibouti the other day,

didn't we? We had Donna, who's an American politics lecturer

and got a pointless answer with it. She'd written a book all about it,

called Jimmy Carter and the Horn of Africa.

-That was the name of her book.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Brian, welcome to the show, good to have you here. What do you do?

-I'm a GP.

-A GP?

-Yeah.

-And whereabouts?

-Stockport in greater Manchester.

-Excellent. Not that you probably get

a lot of time off, but when you do, what you do with it?

I am also passionate about tennis, that's how I met Lee.

So, we met in the same tennis club.

-So, that's the main thing I do.

-Do you play competitively?

Yeah, semi-competitively, yeah.

We sometimes go on trips abroad for little jollies,

for weekends away and play tennis, as part of our tennis club.

Excellent. Now, there you are, you're on 2,

the high score is still Fred and Kate on 100.

So, 97 or less gets you through.

Now, with your touring around with tennis,

you must know a little bit about capital cities?

I can't think of any European ones, which is where we go touring.

But I will think of a South American one,

Chile and I'm going to go for Santiago.

OK, Santiago, says Brian.

Lee did very, very well with his low score of 2 in the first pass.

Let's see how Santiago does, there's your red line.

How many people said Santiago?

It's right.

Good answer. Down it goes. 5, very well done indeed

APPLAUSE

7, is your total, our lowest total of the round so far.

Yeah, terrific answer, very well played.

It was originally called Santiago del Nuevo Extremo.

Very good. Now, Derek, welcome.

-Welcome today, what do you do, Derek?

-I'm a Systems Consultant

for a large insurance provider in Sussex.

And what you get up to in your spare time?

I play the drums, I really enjoy playing music.

-I play in three big bands.

-Three bands?

-Three big bands, yes.

So, it's big-band style. So, swing drumming, that kind of thing?

-It's a 17 piece big band.

-Fantastic.

-With five saxes, four trumpets,

-four trombones.

-Excellent. Well, there you are, you're on 5.

The high-scorers are still Fred and Kate.

So, yes, 94 or less sees you through.

I did have Santiago in mind.

But I've got another one as well, which I hope will work

-and that's the capital of Barbados, Georgetown.

-Georgetown, says Derek.

I think that's a great answer. There's your red line.

Let's see if Georgetown gets you below it.

Ooh! Oh, Derek, I'm afraid for some reason that is an incorrect answer.

We'll do discover why. It takes your total up to 105.

Yeah, sorry, Derek. Georgetown is the capital of Guyana,

not Barbados, I'm afraid.

And we've given you the letters there, we couldn't have been plainer.

Look at that. We've written them...

We've written so big for you, A, B, C, or D.

-G, of course...

-I tell you what...

-..has neither vertical nor horizontal symmetry. So...

-N-o-o-o.

-..it wouldn't really be at home on that board.

-No.

-F and G are the first two to have neither.

-Yeah?

-Still, makes the last podium very exciting.

-It does, it certainly does.

Fred, we have a game on our hands. Now, Fred what do you do?

I'm also a student at the University of Birmingham.

-I'm studying political economy.

-Political economy? OK.

Now there you are, you're on 100. You have to score 4 or less.

You can't leave us again in the first round.

-I'm probably going to go for the capital of Austria...

-OK.

-..which is Vienna.

-OK. Vienna, says Fred. Now, there's your red line.

You have to get below that.

Good luck. Let's see, Vienna, is it right?

How many people said it, if it is?

It's right.

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 7, You needed 4.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry, that takes your total up to 107.

Sorry, Fred. Just too many points there. Kate, you were very unlucky

on that first round. The capital of Andorra is Andorra la Vella.

-I thought it might be. Yeah.

-I'm sorry about that. Did you have

-any others in mind that you were going to go for?

-I could have done

-Bridgetown, Barbados.

-Bridgetown is Barbados, absolutely.

-Bridgetown would have been a pointless answer...

-No!

..as well. Yeah, yeah. So, really, really unlucky.

I'm so sorry about that. Lots of other pointless answers up here.

Let's take a look...

the capital of Belize, Belmopan. Gaborone, that's Botswana.

Kinshasa, which is Democratic Republic of Congo.

All those pointless. Nicosia, Cyprus. Ouagadougou, which is Burkina Faso.

Phnom Penh, which is Cambodia.

You could have had Roseau, which is Dominica.

St John's which is Antigua and Barbuda.

And Yerevan, which is Armenia.

There's lots of others, you could have had Bandar Seri Begawan, which is Brunei.

You could have had Brazzaville, Congo.

Bridgetown, Barbados, would've been a terrific answer.

Bujumbura, which is Burundi. Manama, Bahrain. There's Moroni, which is the Comoros.

N'Djamena, which is Chad. Porto Novo, Benin.

Praia, which is Cape Verde Islands. San Jose, Costa Rica.

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. Thimphu, Bhutan.

And Yamoussoukro, which is Cote d'Ivoire. All of those are pointless answers,

so very well done if you said one of those at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home, I'm so sorry that was really unfortunate.

High score of 107, only just the high-scorers. Great answer from you, Fred

and so nearly a great answer from you, Kate. It's been great having

you on both shows, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you now.

-Thank you.

-Thanks so very much for playing, Fred and Kate.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, three pairs remain. Obviously at the end of this round

we have to say goodbye to another pair.

But this is going to be a belter of a round.

Our category for Round Two is...

Sporting achievements. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

Durable, wipe clean sports people.

LAUGHTER

It does sound like a terrible Christmas toy, doesn't it?

The durable sportsperson. On each pass, we're going to show you six clues to sports people

who had particularly long careers in their chosen field.

You just need to tell us who those sportspeople are, please.

There's going to be six on each pass, 12 in all to have a go at home, so best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our first board of six sports men and women.

Who are they?

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six sportspeople for you. Derek?

How are we feeling about this as a board?

Well, I know one or two of those, I think.

I'm going to take a chance on the cricketer and say WG Grace.

WG Grace, says Derek. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said WG Grace.

It's right.

Three. That is an excellent answer. That's more like it.

-Puts Georgetown to bed. Three.

-Well played, Derek. Terrific answer, yeah.

He was also a doctor. He had his own medical practice down in Bristol.

So, a great sportsman and a GP. He was very much the 19th century Brian.

Mm. Thank you very much indeed. Now then, Lee.

Lee...

-How does that board appear to you?

-Sport should be good subject for me.

-I'm certain of one of them.

-Yes.

And relatively confident about two of them.

So, I think I'm going to go with a sport that I enjoy, which is horse racing,

and the 11 time champion jockey. I'm going to go for Lester Piggott.

Lester Piggott, says Lee. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Lester Piggott.

It's right.

Very well done. 10 for Lester Piggott.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Lee. Bravery rewarded there.

They called him The Long Fellow, because he was five foot nine,

which for a jockey is very, very tall.

So, his weight issues were very hard for him.

I bet. Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Angus. You're the last person to have

this board, do fancy talking us through it?

Those were the first two I thought of gone, so that's that.

I'm struggling a bit with the others. So, I'm going to play safe

and hope the wife can get me out of trouble and go for the Welsh footballer

for Manchester United, and that's Ryan Giggs.

OK, Ryan Giggs, says Angus. Let's see how many people said that.

43.

Not as bad as it could have been, actually, Angus. 43.

Yeah, a pretty big score, but better safe than sorry.

He's been at Man United for so many years. Sir Alex Ferguson said

the first time he saw him, he was aged 13. He said, "he floated across

"the floor like a cocker spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper."

LAUGHTER

-That's a... That's an image.

-Isn't it, though?

-Isn't it?!

Now let's look through the rest of these.

-Any guesses for the snooker player?

-Steve Davis?

It is Steve Davis, yeah. Would've been a good answer,

would've scored 18 points.

-Any guesses for the golfer?

-Tom Watson.

-It was Tom Watson, yeah.

Even better score for that, actually. It would have scored you 7.

And the best answer on the board is the boxer, very well done

if you knew, it's Bernard Hopkins.

That was a pointless answer, the brilliant Bernard Hopkins.

Thanks very much indeed. We're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores. 3, the best score of that pass.

Very well done, Derek. Very good low-scoring there.

Then up to 10, where we find Lee and Brian. Then up to 43 Angus and Michelle.

-Well, Michelle, he's left you a bit of a hill to climb there.

-He has.

A hill not a mountain, though. Best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now, can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more clues up on the board

and here they come. Six more sports people...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, six sports men and women for you to guess at, Michelle.

I've got... I can picture the swimmer in my head.

I can't...I can't remember his name.

So I'm going to have to go for

the gymnast who retired in 2013 and say Beth Tweddle.

Beth Tweddle, says Michelle.

Now, no red line for you as you're the highest scorers.

But let's see how far down the column Beth Tweddle gets you.

It is right.

-18.

-APPLAUSE

61 your total there, Michelle.

Yeah, she won an Olympic bronze AND a series of Dancing On Ice.

How about that?

Now, then...

Brian, 61 is the highest score from Angus and Michelle there.

You're on 10.

So 50 or less is all you need

to get through to the head-to-head.

OK. I know the tennis player,

but I think that might be too high, I think.

So, I think I know the swimmer.

But I'm worried I've got the surname wrong.

But I think I'm going to go for the swimmer. Er,...

Mark Foster.

Mark Foster, says Brian. Mark Foster. There's your red line.

Get below that with Mark Foster, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Very well done indeed.

Good answer. Down it goes.

Look at that! 4 for Mark Foster.

14 your total.

Yeah, terrific answer again there.

-And he's actually got a Pointless trophy, Mark Foster.

-Mmmm.

-Hasn't he?

Well, we say that. He might have put it on eBay, of course.

LAUGHTER.

-Foster wouldn't have done that.

-I doubt it.

Mark Foster would sell every medal he has

before he'd put that Pointless trophy on eBay.

-I know that for a fact.

-Yeah, he would. Thank you.

Now, Katie...

Erm,...I knew Beth Tweddle.

But that was the only one I knew.

I'm going to take a guess at the tennis player,

but I'm...I'm probably wrong.

Erm,...but I'm just going to have to take a punt at it

and I'm going to go with

Maria Sharapova.

Maria Sharapova.

Maria Sharapova aged 46.

Yeah, that's probably not very flattering, is it?

Er,...well, maybe she's not watching this one.

-LAUGHTER.

-Erm...

There's your red line.

Let's see if Maria Sharapova gets you below that red line.

No, I'm sorry.

Not Maria Sharapova. I'm sorry, Katie.

An incorrect answer takes your total up to 103.

Yeah, sorry, Katie.

It's even worse. She was 46 in 2003, which would make her 57 now.

Which is... That's fully 31 years older than she is actually is.

It's Martina Navratilova, the answer to that one.

Would have scored you 28 points.

The Wizard Of Dribble was Sir Stanley Matthews.

He would have scored you 17.

Up the top there, the darts player,

who's also been on Pointless Celebrities,

but better known for being a darts player, Phil Taylor.

Phil "The Power" would have scored 14.

And the best answer on the board is the US quarterback, Brett Favre.

Would have scored you 2 points. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home,

they started so well, a lovely low score of 3,

and then, I'm afraid, the board served you ill.

Katie, sorry. We have to say goodbye to you.

But we'll see you again next time. We look forward to that.

Katie and Derek...

APPLAUSE

But, for Angus and Michelle, Brian and Lee,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Brian and Lee, Angus and Michelle.

You're one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

Now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and, to do that, you are going to go head-to-head.

The difference is you can now talk before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Very well done, Brian and Lee. What a performance. Low scores.

I mean, really low scores in every round.

Angus and Michelle...

Angus, you said you hoped Michelle would dig you out of a hole there.

She did.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Films with horses, Richard.

Yep. Simply going to show you

five stills from films that feature horses.

Can you name the films?

OK, let's reveal our five stills.

And here they come.

We've got...

There we are. Five films with horses.

Brian and Lee, you will go first

as you've played best throughout the show so far.

What do you reckon?

Shall we go A?

A... OK.

We're going to go for A.

And we think that's National Velvet.

National Velvet, say Brian and Lee. National Velvet for A. OK.

Now, Angus and Michelle,

do you fancy talking us through the whole board?

We can talk you through half of it.

I think B is The Horse Whisperer.

We think C might be War Horse.

I don't know D or E.

I think they're right with A.

I didn't know it until they said it but it makes sense.

I think that's Liz Taylor, so...

We're going to go with B and say The Horse Whisperer.

You're going to say B, The Horse Whisperer.

So we have National Velvet versus The Horse Whisperer.

Brian and Lee said National Velvet for A.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Good answer... Oooh, 29 for National Velvet.

I think I'm right in saying that's your first double-figures score.

Is it low enough to see you through?

Angus and Michelle have said that B is The Horse Whisperer.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Has to beat 29...

Oh, and it does. Look at that!

-12!

-APPLAUSE

12 for The Horse Whisperer.

Very well done, Angus and Michelle.

You've nicked that one. Very good indeed.

After one question, you're up 1-nil.

Well played, Angus and Michelle.

You chose well because you're right about War Horse.

It would have scored you more points. It would have scored you 40.

The next one, D, is the toughest on the board.

That's Viggo Mortensen and he's in Hidalgo.

That would have scored you 1 point. So terrific answer if you got it.

And the last one, that is Cleavon Little playing the sheriff in...

-Blazing Saddles...

-Blazing Saddles, yeah. 24 points.

Thanks very much. So, here's your second question.

Brian and Lee, your serve was broken there.

You're going to have to break back here.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Good luck with that. Government Departments. Richard...

Just to get the old pulses racing a bit,

a government departments round.

We're going to show you the names of five government departments.

We've removed alternate letters from their names.

Can you fill in those gaps?

OK, let's reveal our government departments with bits missing.

And here they are. We've got...

I'll read those again. We have...

Phew...! Angus and Michelle,

you will go first this time.

The only one I don't know is the second one.

Top one is Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

Then it's Ministry of Justice, Northern Ireland Office

and the Home Office.

-The Home Office will be too much.

-Yeah.

First or fourth, I think. Fourth?

-I think the first one.

-Yeah. Go for that. Yeah.

OK, erm,...we know a couple of them.

It's picking one we think will be the lowest.

I think we're going to go for the top one,

which is the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

The Foreign and Commonwealth Office, say Angus and Michelle.

Now, Brian and Lee, can you talk us through all the others?

Well, that was the one we didn't know.

So we're figuring that might be a good answer, yeah.

But, if we go through the board, Department For Transport,

Ministry of Justice,

the Northern Ireland Office

and the Home Office.

We'll go for the Northern Ireland Office.

You're going for the Northern Ireland Office.

So, we have the Foreign and Commonwealth Office

and the Northern Ireland Office.

Angus and Michelle said Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

-28!

-APPLAUSE

28 for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

Now then, Brian and Lee, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Let's find out if you've done it. The Northern Ireland Office.

How many people said that?

It's right.

Has to beat 28.

It does. Well done! Back in the game.

-16.

-APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed. Proper needle head-to-head.

Brian and Lee, back in the game. You've broken back, it's 1-all.

Well played, gents. I think Angus and Michelle knew that one as well.

So it's a terrific head-to-head so far.

So, actually, not the best answer on the board.

The best answer on the board, which you also knew,

was the Department for Transport, which would have scored you 15.

See those letters, difficult to fit in.

Ministry of Justice, slightly bigger scorer. Would have scored you 41.

And the biggest score on the board, the Home Office, which scores 55.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, here comes the decider. Your third question.

Whoever wins this gets to play for the jackpot.

It concerns...

Diamonds.

Diamonds, Richard...

We're going to show you five clues now to answers,

all of which contain the word "diamond".

Can you give us the most obscure of those answers?

The team that does goes through to play for the jackpot. So, good luck.

OK. Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five clues.

And here they come...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Brian and Lee,

you will go first.

We're going to go for number 2.

I'm Not A Robot.

And we think that's Marina and the Diamonds.

Marina and the Diamonds, say Brian and Lee.

Now, Angus and Michelle, do you want to talk us through the board?

I think the presenter of TV-am

was Anne Diamond.

Bottom one, I think,

is the Hope Diamond.

I think we're going to go for the Leonardo DiCaprio film

because we're not certain,

I think the other two are going to be too high a score.

I think it was called Blood Diamonds.

Blood Diamonds.

OK, let's find out.

Marina and the Diamonds was Brian and Lee's answer.

So let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

-12.

-APPLAUSE

12 for Marina and the Diamonds.

Now then, Angus and Michelle have said Blood Diamonds.

Let's see if that's right for the Leonardo DiCaprio film.

Blood Diamonds.

Ooooh... Bad luck!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Which means, Brian and Lee, very well done.

After three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

Very well played. A terrific head-to-head that.

Blood Diamond is the name of the film rather than Blood Diamonds.

But it would have scored too many points anyway.

It would have scored you 27 points.

You were right about the presenter of TV-am. It's Anne Diamond.

A huge score for Anne Diamond.

Would have scored you 87.

The Sade album was Diamond Life.

Would have scored you 15.

And it's the Cullinan Diamond.

Would have scored 5 points.

Thanks very much indeed.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head...

A brilliant effort, though. Really exciting head-to-head round.

See you again next time. We'll look forward to that.

-Thanks, Angus and Michelle.

-APPLAUSE

But, for Brian and Lee, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Brian and Lee.

You have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

Now, as always, you get to choose your category for this final round.

Here they are. We've got four on the board today. And they are...

-Brian, thrilled with that.

-I'm thrilled(!)

-Yeah.

I think we have to guess. I'd like to go with Sport.

-Are you all right with Scottish sport?

-Well...

Yeah, can we go Sport and hope we fall lucky?

You're going to go Scottish Sport. OK. Richard...

OK, three different options here, three different sports.

So, hopefully, one of them suits you.

We are looking for anyone who played or was on the replacements' bench

in Scotland's 1991 Rugby World Cup semifinal.

That's the furthest they've ever got in the Rugby World Cup.

So, anyone who was in that team, please.

We are looking for any of the players or subs

in the wonderful 1978 World Cup game against Holland.

Or we are looking for the name of any of the men

who Alan Wells beat in the 1980 Olympic 100 metres final.

So, any of the 1991 Rugby World Cup semifinal team.

Any of the 1978 team against Holland.

Or any athlete beaten by Alan Wells.

Very best of luck

OK. Thanks very much.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

-We're ready, I think.

-Yeah.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are.

Your time starts now.

OK, what are you like with...?

The rugby, I have no idea.

I wouldn't think of any points for the rugby.

For the football, are there any managers at the moment

who we can think of who are Scottish?

-Gordon Strachan.

-I think that's a bit late.

-Or maybe not.

-Hmmm,...yeah.

What about erm...

..the athletes?

What about Ian...Ian Porterfield?

Never heard of him. Sounds good.

He was the Sheffield United manager at one point.

-Yeah. Was he Scottish?

-He's Scottish.

The athletes, let's go...

Were Carl Lewis and Ben Johnson around at that time?

They won in '84 and '88, didn't they?

Maybe a young Carl Lewis might have been there.

But people will probably guess him, wouldn't they?

Do we know any other...

It was really close that one, wasn't it?

-It was a dead heat or something like that.

-I can't remember.

I remember his wife screaming at him,

but I can't remember who he beat.

So,...have we got three answers?

-Er,...Carl Lewis. Ian something...

-Porterfield.

-Yeah. And what about Gavin Hastings? Or is that too...

-Yeah.

OK.. That is your time up.

-I now need your three answers.

-OK.

So, from the FIFA World Cup team, we're going to go Ian Porterfield.

Ian Porterfield.

And for the athletes beaten by Alan Wells, we're going to go...

-Carl Lewis?

-Carl Lewis.

-Carl Lewis.

-Yeah.

And, for the Scottish Rugby Team, we're going to go Gavin Hastings,

Gavin Hastings.

Now, of those three answers, which is your best shot

at a pointless answer, do you think?

I think Ian Porterfield is the best shot.

OK, Ian Porterfield we'll put last. Least likely, do you think?

Oh, Carl Lewis.

-Because it might be incorrect.

-OK, Carl Lewis we'll put first.

And Gavin Hastings in the middle. Perfect.

OK. Let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are...

We've got...

Well, very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Carl Lewis.

You weren't entirely sure. I mean, seems about right.

Maybe a young Carl Lewis, you never know.

Let's see if one of these answers is pointless

and you win that jackpot of £1,000.

Some good-looking answers on the board there.

What would you do with that, Brian?

I was hoping to give half of my proceeds to Age UK

and, probably, half I'd keep for myself.

So half of a half of 1,000...250 quid.

-Maybe a nice bit of furniture or something like that.

-Very nice.

How about you, Lee?

Well, my best friend from junior school

has just got back in touch with me a few months ago,

after 28 years of not seeing each other.

He's from Israel.

So, he's invited me out this summer to Israel

to show me his home city of Haifa and Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

-So that would make it a fantastic trip.

-Excellent.

Oh, that would be wonderful. Well, best of luck.

OK, Carl Lewis.

Was Carl Lewis beaten by Alan Wells in the 100 metres in 1980?

Let's find out. If it's pointless, you will win £1,000.

No... Bad luck.

You weren't sure about that one, anyway. So that's just...

It was just filling a place there. OK. Not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

OK, now we are looking for members

of Scotland's 1991 Rugby World Cup semifinal team.

Gavin Hastings is who you've named. Let's find out if that's right.

If it is, you will win £1,000. How many people said Gavin Hastings?

Absolutely right. That's more like it.

Carl Lewis, your first answer, was incorrect.

But Gavin Hastings, absolutely right,

taking you down through the '20s,

through the teens...

Oh, 9 for Gavin Hastings.

-Back in single figures, boys.

-APPLAUSE

This is where you started the whole show, in single figures.

Back there again. Well done. Gavin Hastings, a good answer.

Sadly, not a pointless answer.

So everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

Ian Porterfield.

In this case, we were looking for

members of Scotland's 1978 World Cup team who played Holland.

Let's find out if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Ian Porterfield.

It's wrong, I'm afraid.

Ah... It had all the markings of a good answer,

in that Brian hadn't heard of him.

APPLAUSE

But, I'm afraid, an incorrect answer.

I'm afraid you didn't find that all-important pointless answer.

So you didn't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That rolls over to the next show.

But you have played so well right across the show.

It's been great having you here. Thanks for playing.

But you get to take home a Pointless trophy, so there you are.

APPLAUSE

A valiant effort, though.

There'll be answers you'll recognise in two of those categories.

Probably not in the Alan Wells one.

Of course, Carl Lewis won four golds in 1984.

But America boycotted the 1980 Olympics.

And it was a little bit before his time as well, to be fair.

And Ian Porterfierld never played for Scotland.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

This amazing Scottish rugby team.

David Sole, the captain, was pointless. Paul Burnell.

Tony Stanger. David Milne was one of the replacements.

All the replacements are pointless.

Also pointless, Chris Grey, Derek White.

You could have had Doddie Weir, Finlay Calder, Gary Armstrong,

John Jeffrey, John Allan, Sean Lineen - all of those were pointless.

So, well done if you said any of those. Fabulous team.

Let's take a look...

..at the Scotland team. So, there are some managers there.

Bruce Rioch right at the top, there. Lou Macari.

Sandy Jardine was a pointless answer. Stuart Kennedy.

You also could have had all of the substitutes.

You also could have had Asa Hartford, Martin Buchan, Tom Forsyth.

Willie Donachie, as well, was a pointless answer on that one.

Now, every single person who Alan Wells beat was a pointless answer.

Every single person in that final was a pointless answer,

which doesn't happen very often.

Silvio Leonard, the Cuban. Alexander Aksinin.

Osvaldo Lara, another Cuban.

Petar Petrov. Also, you could have had Hermann Panzo, the Frenchman.

You could have had Marian Woronin and Vladimir Muravyov.

All of those were pointless. Very well done if you got one at home.

-Tough luck in the studio. Difficult final category.

-Thanks very much.

We have to say goodbye to Brian and Lee.

It's been brilliant having you on the show. You did so well.

Thanks for playing. Brian and Lee, everyone...

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Brian and Lee didn't win our jackpot,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us then and see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE