Episode 4 Pointless

Thanks very much, indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the show where we are always striving to find

the most obscure answers.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Michelle. This is my husband, Angus.

-We're from Bedford.

-Couple number two.

My name's Katie, this is my father, Derek,

and we're from Worthing in West Sussex.

-Couple number three.

-My name's Alex, this is my brother Mathew,

-and we're from Cwmbran in South Wales.

-Hello.

And, finally, couple number four.

I'm Suzanne from the Wirral.

This is my friend Zizzy, originally from Telford and now lives in Liverpool.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He brings the facts in the studios

and brings the ruckus on the dance floor -

it's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

Hiya.

I certainly do bring the ruckus on the dance floor.

-You do, don't you?

-Course I do.

-And how are you this afternoon?

-I am really very well.

It should be a fun show.

Two returners from last time -

Angus and Michelle were very, very good last time.

And Katie and Derek back again, as well. Also did rather well.

Unlucky to get knocked out.

Katie made Maria Sharapova...

-I think, was it 41 years older than she actually is?

-Yes.

Something like that. She's been on. She's been complaining, I'm afraid.

Erm... Very good. Thanks very much indeed.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

that being one that none of our 100 people gave.

Whenever that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Brian and Lee didn't win the jackpot,

so we add another £1,000 and today's jackpot starts off

at £2,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, remember, at all times, the pair with highest score will be

eliminated at the end of each round

so do everything you can to make sure that's not you.

Best of luck. Our first category today is...

Numbers.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first and who'll go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Numerical values. This is just different words for maths, isn't it?

Do you know, it's not a maths round, actually.

Instead, we're giving seven clues on each pass and the answer to each is a number.

So the answer to every question in this round is a number.

14 in all, so have a go at home.

I cannot confirm or deny whether 14 will be one of the numbers.

-You never know.

-OK. You never do.

-You never do know.

-There are plenty of numbers out there, aren't there?

-There are...

-I think I've read that.

-Hold on one second.

There are over a million numbers out there!

Thanks very much, indeed.

OK, so remember we're looking for the answers to these clues,

and they're all numerical values. Here they go.

Seven on the first board.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we go. Angus? Welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Angus.

I'm a warehouse operative.

But you're very keen on the greyhounds.

Very keen, yeah. Twice a week I go to my local track at Henlow.

Got quite a few friends there,

so it's a good social event

and with a bit of luck you win a few quid, which is quite handy.

It's a good evening. You don't have to wait long for the races.

About quarter of an hour, isn't it, between them?

Yes, quick and fast and very entertaining for people.

Excellent. Angus, what are you going to go for?

Interesting... I think I know two.

I think I'm going to go number of times Manchester United won

the FA Cup up to 2014... I believe that's nine.

OK, nine, says Angus.

Let's see if that's right, for Manchester United.

Let's see how many people said nine.

Oh, bad luck, Angus.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer

scores you 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Angus. A risky one to go for there.

But, nine IS a number, so...

Well, that's good, isn't it?

-That is good.

-Yeah...

So, wrong but... Kind of right.

Katie.

Welcome to the show. Katie, remind us what you do.

I am a secondary school drama teacher.

Now, as drama teacher, are you allowed to decide

what productions you put on?

-Yes.

-What will you do next? You did Guys And Dolls last time...?

Oh, that would be telling, wouldn't it?

-We've written a musical, you could do that.

-Yes!

-You have?

-BOTH: Yeah!

-The Pointless Musical.

-It's got some good numbers in it.

-SOME LAUGHTER

-I can imagine. Yep.

-It's got

By Country I Mean A Sovereign State That's A Member Of The UN In Its Own Right.

-That's an excellent song!

-Yeah.

-Really good.

HE HUMS A TUNE

-Oh, I've got it now!

-How would I cast the two of you?

Well, I would have maybe two Year 9s on each other's shoulders for me.

Got to get someone who can get that right catch in their voice

when they sing It's Goodbye From Me, Goodbye.

-That's...

-Hmm.

-It's a sad song, that one.

Hard.

Anyway, anyway... Let's get on with the... on with the...

the show.

Katie, what do you make of this board?

Right, so there's a couple that I know for definite.

And there are a couple that I think I could work out.

And I'm going to go with

total number of individual black and white squares on a chess board

and go with 64.

64, OK. Let's see if that's right.

How many of our 100 people said that?

It's right.

48!

48 for 64.

Very good. Deep Blue became the first computer ever

to win a match against a reigning world champion

when it beat Garry Kasparov.

Actually, it had six matches against him and lost 4-2,

but it did beat him.

The first computer ever to do it.

Thanks very much indeed.

Erm... Mathew.

Welcome to Pointless. What you do, Mathew?

I'm an engineering manager.

So, pretty much just sit around drinking tea all day,

dishing out the work.

OK. Kind of tea? What kind of tea do you prefer?

I'm quite partial to an Earl Grey.

Are you?

And what do you do when you're not making tea?

I go to the gym.

Though it's getting harder the older I get.

You DO go to the gym, Mathew! Look at that!

That's doughnuts.

Wouldn't it be great if they could invent a doughnut that made you look hench.

-Brilliant, wouldn't it?

-A hench doughnut.

-Am I hench, am I?

-I think that's the word. Yes.

-Is that good?

I think it's a good thing.

All right, now then, Mathew - Numbers.

Right. I was going to go for the chess board,

but it was stolen away from me.

Erm... I'm going to have bash at the snooker table one...

and go for 21.

21, says Mathew. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said 21.

No!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points. But you're in good company. Good company.

Unlucky. I know the mistake you made there, as I'm sure you do, as well.

I'll give you the answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, then, Suzanne.

Welcome to the show. What do you do, Suzanne?

I am a customer service assistant

in a role closely resembling that of a librarian.

HE LAUGHS

-In a library.

-Yes.

And the service is sort of book-related,

Dewey decimal, kind of, oriented stuff.

What do you do when you are not advising customers?

Swotting up for Pointless.

Great place to work! If that's your aim.

-Yeah.

-Perfect. Now, then.

Suzanne, you're the last person to have this Numbers board.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

I don't know the football one.

I don't know the nonagon, but I'd guess nine, which is probably wrong.

Number of months..? Could be 120.

The carats in pure gold...

Could be 32?

And the number of degrees in a right angle is 90.

BUT...this might be my only chance

to ever get a sport question right -

so I'm going for snooker.

Which I'd decided before the 100 was scored,

and as you need a cue ball to hit any of the colours,

I'm going to guess at 22, please.

22, says Suzanne.

22... Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right. Very well done, indeed.

Very good - 20!

The best score of the round so far, Suzanne. Very well done.

Well played, Suzanne.

Driving the knife into Mathew, there, though, wasn't it?

He knew exactly what he'd done.

There's 21 balls, and the cue ball makes 22.

So, very good answer.

Let's take a look through the rest of these.

Manchester United haven't only won it nine times, they won it 11 times,

up to 2014, scoring 3 points.

You'd have been right to say nine sides to a nonagon.

That would have scored you 69 points.

Number of months in a decade, you're right, just 10 times 12,

120, would have scored you 74.

The number of carats in pure gold is 24.

That would score you 44 - these numbers are confusing me.

And the number of degrees in a right angle is 90.

And that would've scored 82.

So almost impossible to work out what the best answer is.

It is the number of times Man United have won the FA Cup.

Thanks very much. Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

Very well done, Suzanne.

You and Zizzy got the low score there.

20, then up to 48, where we find Katie and Derek.

Then it's up to 100, where we find Angus and Michelle,

and Mathew and Alex.

So, yes, it's Alex versus Michelle

in this next pass.

Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more numerical clues on the board,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, there we are. Zizzy, remember,

we are looking for answers to these clues that are all numbers.

You're going to try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Zizzy, welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

-Thanks.

What do you do?

I'm a financial administrator in a children's nursery.

I'm numerically dyslexic and scared of children,

so I'm not quite sure what I'm doing there!

-LAUGHTER

-Maybe do something else?

-You would think so!

-What would you like to do?

What would be your dream job? What do you love doing?

I like painting. I paint animals and things like that.

That's good, you could do that.

The world is your oyster.

Any kids watching at home, don't paint your animals.

LAUGHTER

Now then, Zizzy, what about this board?

Erm...

I'm going to go with number of ounces in a pound,

but I'm hoping I'm not confusing number of pounds in a stone.

I think there are 16 ounces in a pound.

OK, let's find out.

16 ounces in a pound, says Zizzy. There is your red line.

If you get below that,

you're definitely in the next round.

Let's see if 16 is right, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

And you're in the next round. Very well done. 57.

-APPLAUSE

-77, your total.

Very well played, Zizzy. Safely through there on podium four.

OK, now then, Alex. What do you do, Alex?

I'm an electrical fitter, I work for a transmission company.

OK, and you and Mathew are brothers. Who's the older one?

LAUGHTER

-Obviously, Mathew.

-Well, you say "obviously".

I mean, I-I... You-You could both be...

-You both look very young, is what I'm saying.

-Thank you.

-Very young.

Now then, so, Alex, numbers.

How are we feeling about the numbers behind me?

There's a few I could have a stab at.

I was going to go with ounces in a pound.

I think what I'll go for is maximum number of players

on the court in each basketball team, and I'm going to go for five.

Five, says Alex. Let's see that's right.

Now, you are joint high scorers, so there's no red line for you.

Just have to hope this goes a long way down the board.

How many players are there? Let's discover how many people said it.

It's right.

Down it goes. Still going down.

-Still going down - 10.

-APPLAUSE

Chosen very well there, Alex. Takes your total up to 110.

Yeah, good answer. Given yourself a chance there.

It was originally conceived as a way to condition athletes

during the winter months, basketball.

The average height of people in the NBA in the States is 6'7.

The AVERAGE height.

-You'd fit right in there.

-I would be average, yeah.

-Average.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Derek.

Derek, welcome back to Pointless.

Good to have you here.

-You work in insurance.

-That's correct.

What do you get up to to take your mind off insurance?

Maybe you don't like to - maybe you like to keep it on insurance all the time.

I take every opportunity to get my mind off insurance,

both in and out of working hours.

I am in fact retiring from insurance this month.

Oh, that's going to be quite fun, isn't it?

-Have you got big plans for your retirement?

-Ah, yes.

I play the drums and I want to work a bit more on that and try

and get a bit better.

I want to learn to read music properly and various,

you know, fun things for retirement.

How many drum kits have you got?

I've told my wife about two of them.

Right! So, the other seven...?

The other seven, yeah, I keep them hidden in the corner of the garage.

Ha! Erm, OK, you're on 48, the high scorers on 110 at the moment

are Alex and Mathew.

So, 61 or less sees you through.

I'm going to have a go at the number of yards in a mile as 1,760.

1,760. That's a great answer.

I hope - sounds good, anyway.

Let's see if it's right. Here's your red line.

It is right.

You are in Round Two, unsurprisingly,

with that kind of an answer.

Down it goes, 23.

APPLAUSE

23 takes your total up to 71.

And while we're on numbers, 23 compared to 10 for the basketball...

I'd have thought the yards in a mile would have been...

It's one of those questions, isn't it, where everybody over

a certain age, that's an easy question, simple question.

Everyone under certain age, it is absolutely impossible.

1,760 is the sort of thing you would never forget, unless you've

never been taught it, in which case, you would never find it out.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Michelle.

Right, we have a contest on our hands.

OK, 110. Alex and Mathew, you're on 100. You have to score 9 or less.

-You were head-to-headers last time.

-Yes.

It can't be head-to-head to Round One. Talk us through the board.

Well, I think I know two of them

but I think they're going to be too high.

The number of cards in a standard playing pack is 52.

I think I'm going to go for number of US cents in a dime...

and go ten.

You're going to say ten cents in a dime.

Have to score 9 or less. There's your red line.

Let's see if you can do it. Ten cents in a dime. Is that right?

How many people said it if it is?

It's right.

Ohh, 48!

APPLAUSE

I'm sorry, Michelle. 48 is a big score.

Takes your total up to 148.

Sorry, Michelle, that's tough luck.

It's only the teeth that would have saved you there. The premolars.

If you'd like to have a guess on that, what would you go for?

I'd have said 26, but I think that's far too high.

If you've got that many premolars, you need to go and see a dentist immediately.

It's eight, is the answer, and would have scored you 7 points.

Number of pints in a gallon - that's also eight.

Would have scored you more points.

Would've scored you 54.

And you knew the playing cards. It's 52, but a very big score.

It wouldn't have saved you - 80 points.

So, the best answer up there is the premolars.

Thanks very much indeed. At the end of our first round,

the pair heading home, with a high score of 148,

semifinalists last time,

I'm afraid it's Round One this time. I am so sorry.

Yes, Angus, it was Manchester United that did that to you.

Take it up with them!

Anyway, meantime, thanks very much for playing.

Michelle and Angus, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Now we're down to three pairs.

Obviously, at the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to

another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category today is...

Pop Music.

Can you decide in your pairs who is going to go first and second?

Do you want to go first?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

The acts who released the biggest-selling albums of 2013, Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for the name of any artist or group who had

one of the top 40 bestselling albums in the UK charts in 2013.

So, any act who released one of those 40 albums, please.

That's according to the Official Charts Company.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Katie.

So it's the top-selling albums of 2013. Who released them?

I've got a name in my head.

-I've got an answer, but I don't have a plethora to choose from.

-OK.

So, erm, I'm just going to go with the one that's popped up first

in my head and I'm going to go with Daft Punk.

Daft Punk, says Katie. Daft Punk.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Good answer.

Very good answer.

9 for Daft Punk.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Katie.

The album Random Access Memories, the 16th bestselling album of 2013, by Daft Punk.

Thanks very much indeed. Alex.

I've got a few bouncing around in my head.

Er, I think what I'm going to go for is Lorde.

Lorde. Lorde, says Alex. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Ooh, no!

I'm afraid that scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, had a huge hit in the singles charts with Royals, of course,

but in 2013 itself, I'm afraid, not one of the top 40 bestsellers.

OK, Suzanne. The top-selling albums of 2013. Who released them?

SHE SIGHS

I'm not good on current stuff, I'm afraid.

So I apologise to Zizzy

if I make a right nincompoop of myself and get 100.

I'm trying to think of CDs I bought last year,

and I think I bought one for Mum.

Rod Stewart.

Let's find out. Rod Stewart, could be right. Let's see.

Rod Stewart, how many people said that?

It's right!

It's right, Suzanne!

3.

APPLAUSE

There you are.

-Best score of the round so far. Good answer.

-Terrific answer, yeah.

His album, Time, actually the seventh biggest-selling album of the year.

A huge hit. His first album to hit number one since 1979.

My favourite album now!

Thanks very much. Let's look at the scores. Halfway through the round.

3, Suzanne,

very much the best score of that pass.

Then up to 9, where we find Katie and Derek.

Then it's a bit of a hike up to 100, where we find Alex and Mathew.

Yeah, Mathew, whatever happens, we need a good answer from you.

And we have to hope it's enough to keep you in the game.

Got a bit of a mountain to climb, but best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, now, Zizzy, we're looking for the name of any artist who

released one of the biggest-selling albums of 2013.

You have been put in such a sweet spot by Suzanne.

There you are on 3.

96 or less sees you through comfortably.

OK. Thank you for giving me a chance to play safe.

I'm going to go...Robbie Williams.

Robbie Williams, sounds good to me. Let's see. Here's your red line.

How many people said Robbie Williams? Is it right?

It is right. And you're through to the head-to-head. Very well done.

That's a fabulous answer.

Look at that - 5! Takes your total up to 8.

Well played, Zizzy. Safe again on that last podium.

The fourth biggest-selling album of the year, Swings Both Ways.

It was his 11th number one album.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Mathew.

Quite a high score there from Alex.

Right...

Got a few that I can think of,

but I can't really think of them being low scorers.

But I'm going to have a bash.

I'm going to go with Little Mix.

Little Mix, says Mathew. Little Mix.

No red line for you as you are the high scorers,

but let's see how many people said Little Mix, if it's right.

Oh!

Oh! I'm afraid, no Little Mix on that list.

You score the maximum of 100 points again,

which takes your total up to 200.

If you're going to go out, that's the way to do it.

Again, a perfectly good answer.

Had hit singles in that year but not one of the top 40 bestselling albums.

But it's nice as brothers that they both got through Round One together

and now you can go home on the train or whatever

and no-one can blame anyone else. LAUGHTER

And, you know, Pointless salutes risk-takers,

and that's what you have to do. So, yeah, it's the right spirit.

Now, Derek, I have good news for you.

You're in the head-to-head round. What are you going to go for?

Well, I'm going to go for an old-timer, a bit like myself.

But he's had a bit of a resurgence. David Bowie.

Oh, yes. David Bowie, David Bow-ie, David Bowie.

No red line as you're through, but let's see if it's right.

David Bowie.

Absolutely right. That's a great answer, Derek.

6. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Up to 15.

-Great answer, and a great album as well.

-It is a great album.

Terrific work, Derek, well played.

Yeah, that was his ninth number one album, which means David Bowie

-has had two fewer number one albums than Robbie Williams.

-Interesting.

Now, there's lots of answers, there's a few pointless answers.

I'll take you through the low scorers before we do the pointless ones.

You'd have got 5 points for Ellie Goulding and Bastille.

You'd have got 4 points for Michael Buble,

4 points for Justin Timberlake.

You'd have got 4 points for Gary Barlow as well.

3 points for Arctic Monkeys, Jake Bugg, Bruno Mars, Pink.

You'd have got 2 points for Eminem and Mumford & Sons.

You'd have got 1 for James Blunt, for Biffy Clyro, for Imagine Dragons,

Calvin Harris, Stereophonics and Disclosure.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

All of these would have added money to the jackpot.

Well done at home if you said Celine Dion.

Elvis Presley, James Arthur.

Kings Of Leon would've been a pointless answer,

their Mechanical Bull album.

London Grammar did very well, had one of the top 40 albums.

If You Wait, that was called.

All The Little Lights, by Passenger,

was one of the top 40 bestselling albums.

Rudimental as well, Home. The Lumineers and Tom Odell.

One other pointless answer, and that was Ben Howard.

Very well done if you said any of those. Let's take a look at the top three scorers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Katy Perry would've scored 10 points.

Rihanna on 12, and so we know what the top is.

-One Direction. How could it be anything else?

-How could it?

-30 points.

-How could it? Indeed.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Pleasure.

-Good.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home,

with a high score of 200, I'm sorry, Mathew and Alex.

-Oh, dear!

-The bow tie is cutting off my circulation a bit.

Maybe that could be what it is.

If you could dress up next time that would be...

LAUGHTER

-We'll come back with top hats.

-That would be good.

Thanks very much for playing, Mathew and Alex. We'll see you next time. Cheers.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Zizzy and Suzanne, Katie and Derek.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £2,000.

To decide who's going to play for that money you're now going to go

head-to-head. You can now confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Zizzy and Suzanne will have the slight advantage, as our lowest

scorers obviously. They get to answer first.

But best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns

the Armed Forces.

Armed Forces. Richard.

We're going to show you five images now of the armed forces from different countries.

We need you to tell us the name of the country please.

As always, by country, we mean a member of the UN that is a sovereign state.

OK, let's reveal our five armed forces photographs and here they come.

We've got...

OK. There we are. Five armies of different countries.

Zizzy and Suzanne, you will go first.

The only one I think I know is A, which I think is Australia.

THEY CONFER

I don't know if it's right. Have you got any of them?

Not really, no.

Right, really not a strong subject at all.

We're going to go with A as Australia.

OK, you're going to say A, Australia. A, Australia.

Now then, Katie and Derek, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

-Um...

-I'll let Dad do that

-Yes.

I think the B may be India, C looks like Russia.

I'm not sure about D, but when I was a young boy

I had a set of toy soldiers brought back by my dad from Greece and

they looked just like E so I'm going to go for E as Greece.

E, Greece. OK. We have Zizzy and Suzanne saying A is Australia.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Australia for A.

It's right.

63.

APPLAUSE

Now then, Katie and Derek

have said that E is Greece.

Let's see if that's right,

and, if it is, let's see how many people said E was Greece.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done.

43 for Greece.

APPLAUSE

So very well done, Derek and Katie.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played, Derek, and how lovely also that a gift from your father

so many years ago has given you a gift again, as a lovely story.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

You were right, Derek, B is India.

That's a good scorer, as well. It scored 31 points.

That is well-drilled marching. Look at that.

That is very good. C, terrible marching here from the Russians.

-77 points. That's the Russian One Direction, there.

-Yeah!

LAUGHTER

And the best answer...

is D,

-that's the Norwegians.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

And that would have scored you two points.

Very well done if you said that.

OK, here comes your second question.

Zizzy and Suzanne, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns:

Fruits and berries. Richard.

Simply five clues now about edible fruits and berries.

-Can you give us the most obscure answer?

-OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

I'll read those all again.

Now Katie and Derek, you will go first.

What do you think?

Well, I think, go for the limes. I know the answer to that.

-Is it scurvy?

-Yeah.

-Go with that one then.

We're going to go for the first one, please,

and we believe the answer is scurvy.

Scurvy, say Katie and Derek. Scurvy.

Now then, Zizzy and Suzanne. Talk us through the board.

I think they're right with scurvy.

An Australian opera singer, that's Dame Nellie Melba.

The John Steinbeck novel is The Grapes Of Wrath.

Grand Slam is Wimbledon.

-I've got a guess for the last one, but it would be a risk.

-Ooh!

Do you want to take the risk, or do you want to go with one of the others?

-Take a risk.

-OK.

We're going to, on Suzanne's instructions,

-go for pineapple for the last one.

-Pineapple, OK.

So we have scurvy, we have pineapple.

Katie and Derek said scurvy. Let's see if that's right,

and, if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

68 for scurvy.

APPLAUSE

Zizzy and Suzanne have said that Ananas comosus

is pineapple. Let's see if that's right,

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said pineapple.

It's right.

And you're back in the game. Very well done, indeed.

31.

APPLAUSE

Well done. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Well played, Zizzy and Suzanne.

It's actually a high-scoring board and that's the best answer up there,

believe it or not. Did you know pineapple is not a fruit?

-Pineapple is a series of fruits, or flowers, around a central core.

-Wow.

It's not one individual fruit. Now let's look at the rest of these.

As I say, it's a high-scoring board and you gave us

all the correct answers, as well. Dame Nellie Melba, absolutely right.

She would have scored you 52.

You're right about Grapes for John Steinbeck.

That would have scored you 34. And you're right about Wimbledon.

That's the biggest scorer up there. That would have scored...

-87. So, yeah, 31, the lowest scorer. That's a high-scoring board.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, so it comes down to the decider,

the third question. Whoever wins this goes through to the final.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns:

Literary works with animals in the title, Richard.

We're going to show you five titles of literary works now,

each of which has an animal in the title,

but we've removed the animal from the title. Can you fill in the blanks?

Best of luck, both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five animal-less literary works.

And here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Now then, Zizzy and Suzanne, you will go first.

I don't know.

I'd guess at Stieg Larsson, but only a guess.

-Go for it, honestly.

-It'll be a guess, though.

Doesn't matter, go for it.

We're guessing The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest.

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. OK.

Now, Katie and Derek, do you want to talk us through the board?

I don't know any of them so I'll let you...

The top one is the Maltese Falcon.

I'd guess the Henry James one is The Wings Of The Dove.

And, the next one, I would guess, it would be a guess

at The White Tiger.

-I think we're going to have to go for the Maltese Falcon.

-Yep.

The Maltese Falcon. OK, so we have Hornet versus Falcon.

Zizzy and Suzanne said The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest.

Let's see if that's right, and, if it is, let's see how money people said it.

40.

APPLAUSE

And Katie and Derek have said The Maltese Falcon.

Let's see if that's right

and it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

73.

APPLAUSE

Very well done. Zizzy and Suzanne, after three questions,

you are through to the final. 2-1.

Yes, another pretty high-scoring board.

Very well played for The Hornet's Nest.

The Wings Of The Dove, another big scorer.

It was The Wings Of The Dove, Henry James.

That would have scored you 68.

Now the next one down won the Booker Prize in 2008

for Aravind Adiga, and it is The White...

-Tiger.

-Oh...

And would have scored you nine points,

so it would have been a terrific answer.

-And the bottom one is a Thomas Hardy poem.

-The Darkling Thrush.

The Darkling Thrush. Yep,

and that's the best answer up there and would have scored you six.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Katie and Derek.

But a much, much better performance this time and very, very close.

Yes, good answers all-round.

I'm afraid, though, you're up against Zizzy and Suzanne,

and they got it. They took that risk with pineapple and it paid off.

It's been lovely having you on the show.

-Thanks so much for playing, Katie and Derek.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Zizzy and Suzanne, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Zizzy and Suzanne. You've fought off all

the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

That was very exciting. What a good head-to-head.

You were down 1-0 and you clawed it back and won.

OK, as always, you get to choose your category.

Here are your four options. We've got:

This is where it all goes wrong. I have no idea on any of them.

My sports knowledge has been used up, so I can't do cricket.

OK, rule that out.

My music knowledge has been used up.

I have been to Greece, and I've probably seen a film directed

-by a man called Michael, so...

-Films directed by Michaels?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, go for the films. I've got no idea.

-Films directed by Michaels.

OK, films directed by Michaels, Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any feature film or full-length documentary

made for cinema release,

for which any of the following three Michaels were responsible,

before the end of January, 2014.

So Mike Leigh films, Michael Moore films or Michael Powell films.

According to IMDB,

any films those three have directed for cinema release.

The very, very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to

-be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Well, I've never heard of Mike Leigh...

-Neither have I!

..and I've never heard of Michael Powell.

-Did Michael Moore do one about spelling?

-I don't know.

-A spelling bee? What was it called?

-I don't know, I'm asking you.

-You said you could do films.

-I lied.

Michael Moore did...

-Bowling For Columbine.

-What?

Bowling For Columbine. Was that him?

I don't know but it sounds like a film. We'll go with it.

Didn't he do one about 9/11?

-Yes.

-What was it called?

-I don't know.

Remember, we didn't come to win the money.

It's true, we came to meet the Osman. We've done that, shall we

-just make a run for it?

-Yes.

-Right, come on, what was your first one?

-I've already forgotten.

-Bowling For Columbine.

-Bowling For Columbine.

-Any others?

-No.

-Right, brilliant. Let's make up a couple of titles.

Michael Powell. I genuinely haven't heard of the other two.

Mike Leigh. Do we just...

-Batman! Begins.

-What?

-Batman Begins.

-Batman Begins, by who?

-Mike Leigh.

-Mike Leigh, OK.

-Batman Returns.

-OK. That's your time up.

I now need your three answers.

So what was your one for the one by Michael Moore?

-Bowling For Columbine.

-Bowling For Columbine by Michael Moore.

-Then...9/11 by Michael Moore.

-OK.

9/11 by Michael Moore.

-And then what did you say, Batman Begins by Mike Leigh?

-Yep.

-Yeah.

-Brilliant.

-Sounds like a winner!

Batman Begins by Mike Leigh.

-Yep.

-OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Your Columbine one.

-OK, Bowling For Columbine we'll put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Going to say Batman...

-Least likely to be correct!

-..Begins!

OK, Batman Begins by Mike Leigh, we'll put first.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are.

We've got Batman Begins, 9/11 and Bowling for Columbine.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Your first answer was Batman Begins directed by Mike Leigh.

If one of those is pointless,

what would you do with your prize money? Zizzy?

I want to go to Iceland to see the aurora borealis.

Excellent. Suzanne?

I need a new shed.

LAUGHTER

But then I tell myself I'm not an old man, I don't need a shed.

-I'll go on holiday on Queen Mary 2 again.

-Excellent.

-A much more useful way of spending my money.

-OK, now best of luck.

Batman Begins. Let's find out if that's right.

If it is, and it's pointless, you will win £1,000.

Is it a Mike Leigh film?

-Nope.

-Shocked. Shocked.

-I'm afraid not.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer is 9/11 as a Michael Moore film.

Let's find out if that's right.

Again, if it's pointless it'll win you £2,000, let's see,

how many people said 9/11?

Ooh, bad luck!

But we're now on terra firma here. Bowling For Columbine.

A Michael Moore film, you say, let's find out if it's right,

and if it is, let's find out if it's pointless.

OK, for £2,000 let's see how many people said Bowling For Columbine.

It's right.

So Batman Begins was incorrect, as was 9/11,

but Bowling For Columbine is absolutely on the money,

but down it goes, through the twenties, through the teens...

-AUDIENCE: Aww.

-Ten.

Never mind.

Well, you've done incredibly well,

played very well throughout the show, but I'm afraid you didn't

manage to find that all-important pointless answer

so you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000, that will

roll over onto the next show, but we've loved having you on

and you have been fantastic.

You get a Pointless trophy for that anyhow, well done.

Yeah, unlucky, Fahrenheit 9/11 was his documentary there,

that would have scored you five points.

Batman Begins by Mike Leigh, as you say, that is...

They've got to give the next film in the

Batman franchise to Mike Leigh.

-Surely.

-His gritty, semi-improvisational version of

post-Thatcher Britain would fit in perfectly to the genre.

You should check out Mike Leigh, he's terrific,

Secrets & Lies was his biggest scorer.

Let's look at the pointless answers.

Bleak Moments, that was his very first film, Career Girls

and High Hopes, they were the only pointless answers in

the Mike Leigh film category, so very well done if

you said one of those. Michael Moore...

Canadian Bacon, which was a comedy he directed,

mostly known for documentaries of course.

Now Michael Powell,

he directed lots of things with Pressburger as well,

and honestly, do yourself a favour and get the Michael Powell

and Pressburger boxset, you'll LOVE it.

Black Narcissus, terrific film, lovely romance

I Know Where I'm Going, Ill Met By Moonlight,

The Life And Death Of Colonel Blimp

also pointless, in fact.

Everything apart from A Matter Of Life And Death - which is

another amazing film - and The Red Shoes and Peeping Tom, all of his

films apart from that were pointless, so very well done if you said one.

If you haven't see any of those films I would really recommend them.

-Be a lovely way to spend a weekend.

-Mm. Thanks, Richard.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you,

but it's been great having you, thanks for playing.

Zizzy and Susanne.

Zizzy and Susanne didn't win our jackpot today sadly, which means

it rolls over onto the next show, where we will be playing for £3,000.

AUDIENCE: Whoo!

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.