Episode 5 Pointless

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the show where the more obscure your knowledge,

the better your chances of winning. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hello, I'm Barbara.

This is my very good friend, Judith. And we've come up from Sussex today.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, my name is Mathew.

-This is my little brother, Alex.

-Hello.

We're from South Wales, Cwmbran.

Couple number three.

Hello, I'm Harriet. This is my dad, David.

And we're from Hemel Hempstead.

-And couple number four.

-Hello, I'm Scooter

and this is my good friend, Tas, and we're from Cambridgeshire.

-And these are today's contestants.

-APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll get to know more about each of you

as the show goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

An intellect more frightening than Poltergeist 3.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

-Hello there.

-Hello there!

-Looking forward to today's show?

I am, particularly after that. That was a lively bunch, wasn't it?

It was. There appears to be somebody called "Scooter" on the show.

-I spotted that.

-I spotted that as well.

I don't know if that's his real name.

Also he said it in quite a cool accent too,

so literally can't wait to get to podium four.

Only one pair coming back from the last show.

That's Alex and Mathew. They were dressed the same last time.

They've lost their bottle this time, haven't they?

-Completely stitched me up this time.

-They were dressed identically.

Mathew joined the 200 club all by himself.

-Yes.

-Two answers, 100 points in both.

So a lot of pressure on you this time.

-But question one today is interesting.

-OK.

I would say interesting but tricky.

-Interesting but tricky. OK, well.

-That's not encouraging, is it?

-No.

It's not the sort of thing I should say.

-Round One, a breeze today.

-Lovely.

Well, thank you very much. Looking forward to it.

All our questions have been asked to 100 people before the show.

Today's contestants are looking for a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Zizzy and Suzanne didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so do everything you can to make sure that is not you.

Our first category today is...

So far, so good. The USA.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Largest US cities in each state, Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for the name of the largest city

in any of the 50 US states, please.

So the largest city in terms of population

according to the 2010 US census. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much. So this, I might suggest,

is one that you might be glad you're on the first podium for.

Probably will be.

-Judith, a warm welcome.

-Thank you.

You've come here from Sussex.

What do you get up to in Sussex, Judith?

I do a bit of writing. I do a bit of acting. Yes.

What sort of writing do you do?

Oh, just short stories at the moment.

-I'm working up to a novel, but...

-OK. Are you doing a course on that

or is this something you've just embarked on, on your own?

No, I joined a writers' workshop.

-So each week we get a homework.

-Do you know, my mum's done that.

Both my parents have done that. They go along together

and the only difference is

that my mother now just criticises everything.

If I ask her to read something, I say, "Did you enjoy that?"

She'll read it and go, "Well, I wasn't sure about the imagery..."

And you think, "Oh... Is that the only fruit of this course?"

Well, as an English teacher of 30 years standing, I do that anyway.

So this is a chance for me to put myself in the position

-that my pupils have been in.

-Yeah, the tables turned.

And take my homework in each week

and read it out with some trepidation.

-But they're nice, encouraging?

-Oh, they are, yes.

-Nurturing.

-We have a good laugh.

-Good.

-OK, talking of having a good laugh...

-My answer.

-Yes, what are you going to go for?

-Erm, I think I shall probably go,

as it's the first one that's popped into my head,

-Sacramento, California.

-Sacramento. Let's see if that's right,

-or let's see if that's just some creative writing.

-Oh, dear.

Ooh, no. I'm sorry, Judith.

I'm afraid - that, again, also gutsy -

but I'm afraid, in this case, incorrect.

-Scores you the maximum of 100 points. Sorry.

-Sorry, Barbara.

Sorry, Judith. It is the state capital of California, Sacramento,

but very much not the largest city in California, I'm afraid.

OK. I have a feeling you'll be joined

by a fair few others up there on 100.

-I hope so.

-But we shall see. Alex, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Remind us what happened last time.

-I brought the wrong person with me.

-LAUGHTER

And he scored a lot of points.

-It was Round Two, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

That 200 points would have been good in any other quiz show.

-I know.

-You've changed the format, and to be honest,

-it's quite confusing.

-LAUGHTER

I'm not taking blame for that.

-OK. Alex, remind us what you do.

-Electrical fitter.

-I work for a transmission company.

-OK. Now, Alex, there we are.

We've already had one 100. Have you got a confident answer?

I've got a confident one, but it's going to be pretty high.

-And I literally can't think of anything else.

-OK.

-New York in New York.

-New York and New York.

Let's see if that's right and

let's see how many of our 100 people said New York.

It's right.

-79, but it's right.

-APPLAUSE

Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, in fact the biggest population of any US city, New York.

8.1 million people in the last census.

-David. Welcome.

-Hello.

-A warm welcome to you. What do you do, David?

-I'm a bank manager

working in West London, running a branch of an international bank.

Excellent. And what do you get up to when you're not doing that?

I travel the world, including US cities, running marathons.

Do you? Marathons.

-How many marathons have you run?

-Just over 50 now.

So I've done half of those in England

and half of those in countries around the world.

50 marathons?! It's probably time you got on to Guinness.

I mean, not the drink. The people who run the...

The record book. Anyway, David.

I think you might have a good answer on the back of this running.

I will go for one of the cities that I have run in.

Seattle for Washington State.

Seattle. Seattle. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said Seattle.

Absolutely right. 79 is our low score.

You tear past that.

Still running.

APPLAUSE

23 for Seattle.

Well played, David. Very good answer. 600,000 people in Seattle.

Some of us think of these American cities as huge. They're not that...

-600,000?

-Yeah.

-That's weeny.

-It is quite weeny, isn't it?

I just think of Frasier basically and all those tall buildings.

And also Microsoft there as well

and the first ever Starbucks was Seattle in 1971.

Whatever happened to them?

-Yeah.

-So it punches above its weight, I would say.

Thanks very much. Scooter. Aha, Scooter. Welcome.

Is that your actual name, Scooter?

It is not. No, my real name is Scott,

but my best friend growing up gave me this nickname

because he felt I bore a striking resemblance

to Scooter from The Muppets.

Are you seeing Scooter from The Muppets there?

Well, given that I can see both of Tas' hands, no.

LAUGHTER

I see what you're saying there.

OK. Now, Scooter, what are you going to go for?

Um, well, I think I'm going to play it a bit safer

and say Portland, Oregon.

OK. Portland, let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Portland.

It's right.

Well, 23's our low score. You've passed that.

5 for Portland. Very well done indeed.

Yeah, 580,000 people in Portland.

-Have you been to Portland, Scooter?

-I have not, no.

It's a beautiful city. It's much-loved.

It's got quite a kind of...

a bohemian air, Portland.

Hmm. Well, there we are. We're halfway though the round.

5 was the best score of that pass. Very well done, Scooter and Tas,

looking pretty strong at this stage.

Then up to 23 where we find David and Harriet. 79, Alex and Mathew.

100, Judith and Barbara.

Quite nicely stepped that, nice even steps there.

Barbara, anything can happen in the next pass is all I'm saying.

What we need from you is a low score.

Good luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we are looking for any US city

which by population is the largest in its state.

-Tas, welcome.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here. What do you do, Tas?

I'm a technical writer for a modular building firm.

Wow. That's sort of computer writing, then?

Technical writing, so when a building gets handed over,

I put all the manuals together.

Oh, I see. I see.

What do you like getting up to in your spare time?

Though I'm not very good at it, I do enjoy cycling.

I do a lot of cycling.

-Proper racing cycling?

-No. I'm very much at the end of it.

-Right, OK.

-More just the fun of doing the thing with company.

-Yes.

So this year, me and my boyfriend are going to cycle

-part of the Danube river for a holiday.

-Fabulous.

-From Vienna to Budapest.

-I can immediately see a problem with that.

Oh, not IN the river. Sorry. Alongside.

-Alongside the river.

-That's what I was thinking.

-OK.

Just you've sometimes...you've got to think ahead. That's the...

-Planning is everything.

-The Danube has a beautiful tow path.

That is like the time I was trying to canoe the M1

and it just... LAUGHTER

To be fair, you got as far as Watford, which wasn't bad.

Yeah, wasn't too bad.

OK, now, Tas. What are you going to go for? There you are on 5.

The high-scorers, Barbara and Judith on 100. 94 or less sees you though.

-I know.

-It just has to be right, that's all.

-Yes.

So, I have an answer.

I think I'm going to go with Atlanta.

Atlanta.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many said it.

There is your red line. Get below that red line - lovely and high -

with Atlanta and you are in Round Two.

It's right and you're through. Good work, Tas.

Well, Scooter scored 5.

-Atlanta scores 14.

-APPLAUSE

14 for you, Tas. Second-lowest score of the round so far.

-19 your total, well done.

-Very well played, Tas.

Terrific work on that last podium, both of you.

Yes, the biggest city in Georgia.

Thank you, Richard. Now, Harriet. Welcome, welcome.

What do you do, Harriet?

I work in the marketing team for an online beauty retailer,

so selling hair care, skincare, make-up, that kind of thing.

That's a job that involves taking quite a lot of samples back home.

-It does.

-To test them out. I understand.

-Listen, I'm not...

-Of course.

-Nothing underhand here.

-Well, fun. What a nice thing to do. You enjoy it?

-Yeah, I do, actually.

It is really good fun and, like you said, there's perks.

-Wins you lots of friends as well.

-Yep, it does.

-My mum being the main one.

-There you go. Exactly.

Well, there you are on 23. How confident are you feeling?

This is actually a good subject for me, I hope.

It was part of my degree, was American Studies.

So, let's hope I don't... make a fool of myself.

You are confessing an awful lot of things here!

In advance of giving your answer, but, yeah, fingers crossed.

So I have two answers and I think I'm going to go

for St Louis in Missouri.

St Louis, says Harriet.

OK, well, the high-scorers remain Barbara and Judith on 100.

76 or less sees you through.

There's your red line. Let's see if St Louis can get you below it.

Oh, no!

-Harriet.

-Oops.

-123 is your total.

I'm afraid that, for some reason, is incorrect.

Yeah, I'm really, really sorry.

St LEWIS, I'm going to go right ahead and call it like an American,

it is in Missouri, but not the biggest city there, I'm afraid.

OK. Now then, Mathew.

-Mathew, welcome back. Good bow tie, well done.

-Cheers.

-You stuck with the plan.

-Yeah.

Made me look like a right turnip here.

-LAUGHTER

-A turnip in a bow tie, though.

I'm just glad I didn't wear the top hat, that's the thing.

-Yeah, we did expect a top hat.

-Yeah, we did.

We couldn't find any, so I was going to wear the lampshades

from the hotel and they wouldn't let me take them.

-Mathew, remind us what you do.

-An engineering manager.

That's right. And as we discovered last time, you work out.

-Yeah.

-Yes. What else do you do? What are your other hobbies?

I pretty much live in work. I hardly see my missus, which...

I don't know if she actually finds that better.

Keeps our relationship stronger that I'm not about the house more.

Actually earning money for her shoes.

LAUGHTER

-And your bow ties, obviously.

-And bow ties.

-Now then, Mathew.

There you are on 79. The high-scorers now,

Harriet and David on 123.

43 or less is what you require.

How's your reasoning going at this stage?

Well, I'm thinking capital cities, but that might not necessarily be...

Yeah, well, as we've seen, not always.

I've got two in mind. But I'm going to go for a safe bet

and I'm going to say Detroit, Illinois.

OK, Detroit, says Mathew. Detroit. There is your red line.

Get below that, you're in Round Two.

Let's see if Detroit can do it for you. Good luck.

It's right. Very well done indeed.

There you go, through to Round Two. Nice low score.

-Second-lowest score of the round.

-APPLAUSE

Good answer, Mat.

Yeah, Detroit. It's not in Illinois, though. It's in Michigan.

It's the largest city in Michigan.

Although, it's getting smaller by the minute, Detroit.

It is, yes. Poor thing.

Indeed. Now then, Barbara.

Welcome. What do you do?

Well, I'm officially retired as an English teacher,

but I keep getting called back.

They can't seem to do without me, so...

I'm still doing little bits of supply teaching,

but mainly I'm very, very happily retired.

And I spend my time with my three dogs

and my husband's retired as well

and we're over the hills and far away.

-Yeah.

-Do all the things that retired people do.

-Yeah, how nice!

-It is.

-Fabulous.

-I recommend it.

-Good.

Well, there you are on 100. You have to score 22 or less, Barbara.

That would be the fourth-lowest score of the round

is what we're after.

Shall I go for Honolulu?

Honolulu, says Barbara. There is your red line.

Let's see if Honolulu gets you below that red line. Good luck.

-It's right.

-Yay!

That's the first thing it had to be. Now.

-You've done it. Honolulu.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, terrific work, Barbara. Absolutely right. And Missouri,

confusingly, the biggest city in Missouri is Kansas City.

Would have scored you 3 points. I know, right?

The biggest city in Kansas is Wichita, so go figure.

Wichita would have scored you 1. Before we look at the pointless ones,

I'll take you through some of the lower scorers.

3 points for Omaha, Nebraska. 2 points for Little Rock, Arkansas.

Milwaukee. 1 point for Charlotte, North Carolina,

for Newark, New Jersey. Boise, Idaho. Columbus, Ohio

and Jackson, Mississippi. And here are the pointless answers.

Billings, which is the biggest city in Montana.

Bridgeport, which is Connecticut. Burlington, which is Vermont.

All very good answers. Well done if you got any of these.

Columbia is the biggest city in South Carolina.

Fargo, the biggest city in North Dakota.

Louisville which is Kentucky.

Manchester is New Hampshire. Sioux Falls is South Dakota

and Wilmington is the biggest city in Delaware.

All terrific answers. That's all the pointless answers up there..

Well done if you got any. Let's take a look at the biggest answers.

We'll find out the biggest city in California here.

Chicago, that's Illinois. That's the biggest city in Illinois.

Los Angeles is, of course, the biggest city in California, 46.

And New York, we've already seen. Top of the shop, 79.

Thanks very much indeed. So at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 123,

I'm sorry to say, Harriet and David, it is you.

-Did you know any of those pointless ones, Harriet?

-Yeah.

I kind of panicked, thought of two, I thought of St Louis

and Salt Lake City in Utah but I don't think that was right, was it?

No, Salt Lake City is right.

Salt Lake City would have scored you 6 points.

Oh, great(!)

-Yeah.

-Sorry, I sort of said that in a happy way

and I shouldn't have done. I should have said it in a sad way.

-It's good that it's right.

-Yeah.

-Anyway, we have to say goodbye.

We'll see you next time. Look forward to that.

-Thanks very much. Harriet and David.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so we're down to three pairs. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we will be down to two pairs.

I've got plaudits to hand out to every pair in front of me now.

Barbara and Scooter, well done.

Honolulu and Portland, Oregon, respectively.

Colossal answers, wonderful. And, Mathew...

-Welcome to the game.

-LAUGHTER

Good to have you among us. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Yay(!)

Cemeteries. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Famous people in Highgate Cemetery. Richard.

On each pass, we're simply going to give you six clues to famous people

buried or interred in Highgate Cemetery.

Just have to tell us who they are, please.

There's going to be 12 in all to guess at home so very best of luck.

OK, so we are looking for these people who are,

obviously, very famous, also dead, and buried or interred...

Well, let's hope they're dead, certainly.

That's a good point. Yeah. Ooh. OK. Here is our first board of six,

and it reads like this...

I'll read those all one last time.

Judith, they're all yours.

Right. I know all but one of them, I think.

I think I'll go for the novelist,

because I've just started reading that novel

-and it's Beryl Bainbridge.

-Beryl Bainbridge, says Judith.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Beryl Bainbridge.

It's a good answer.

Down it goes.

Still going down. Look at that.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

Judith, 3 for Beryl Bainbridge. What a start to the round.

Yeah, very nice timing, if you've just started it.

Yeah, it's about a theatre company.

They made a movie of it as well with Hugh Gant and Alan Rickman.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Alex.

I haven't got a clue of any of them.

I was hoping this wasn't going to happen.

I'll go for one of the original hosts

of the TV series Game For A Laugh. Bob Monkhouse.

Bob Monkhouse. OK, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Bob Monkhouse if it is right.

Oh, I'm sorry, Alex. Not a bad try, but incorrect, I'm afraid.

-Scores you 100 points.

-Yeah, sorry, Alex. He didn't appear on that show.

Of course, he famously said, didn't he,

"They laughed when I said I wanted to become a comedian.

"They're not laughing now." LAUGHTER

Nor am I.

Now then, Tas. You're the last person to have this board

so you can mop up if you like.

Do you want to talk us through the board?

Well, it's not going to take very long. I don't know any of those.

So... I'll just go for manager of the Sex Pistols and, um...

John Smith.

Just because it's two names, so...

OK, John Smith, manager of the Sex Pistols. Is it right?

No, bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Sorry, Tas.

-When people make up names,

they so often say John Smith or James Brown, don't they?

John Smith's just a very common one.

But you'd be going a long time before you guessed his name.

You know that one, I'm guessing?

-Malcolm McLaren.

-Malcolm McLaren, yep. Would have scored you 30 points.

The original host of TV series Game For A Laugh?

-I'm guessing Jeremy Beadle?

-It is Jeremy Beadle.

Would have scored you 15.

Now, the author who created Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy,

-Arthur Dent, Dirk Gently...?

-Douglas Adams.

The wonderful Douglas Adams.

Would have scored you 11.

Do you know the comedian? His name's in the end of his made-up name.

-It's Max Wall.

-Max Wall.

-Yep.

Would have scored you ten points. Who would you have gone for,

-Judith, for the top one?

-Martita Hunt.

-It's Jean Simmons.

-Just as well, I didn't go for that.

-It's pointless answer

so would have been terrific. Well done if you said that.

Thanks, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 3, Judith and Barbara.

This is marvellous. Very well done indeed.

We then go up to 100 where we find Alex and Mathew

and Tas and Scooter. Scooter, you get first bite of the new board,

so let's hope there's something on there that you can answer.

We're going to come back down the line.

Second players, please step up to the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more people up on the board

and here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Remember, we are looking for these people described by these clues.

They're all buried at Highgate Cemetery. Scooter.

OK. Well, um, hmm.

There's two that I've got in mind.

I'm going to go with the last one, author of Das Kapital. Karl Marx.

Karl Marx says Scooter. No red line for you

as you are joint high-scorers. But let's see if Karl Marx is right.

Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

Wow.

APPLAUSE

27. Not such a high score after all. 127, your total.

Well done, Scooter. Given yourself a chance there.

Yes, his gravestone reads, "Workers of all lands unite."

Thanks, Richard. Now, Mathew. Mathew, you have a target.

26 or less is what we need from you.

This is ridiculous. I know what electrical capacitance is,

so I know what the guy's last name is.

I can't think what his first name is.

That's probably the closest I'm going to get to an answer.

So I'm going to go for it. I'll go for something like

Johann Farad.

Johann Farad. Now, you have to get below that red line

with Johann Farad.

Let's see if it's right... Let's see if it's right, first.

Oh, I'm afraid an incorrect answer. Scores you 100 points.

Takes your total up to an unbeatable 200. Sorry, Mathew.

Sorry, Mathew. Back where you belong though with the old hundreds.

-I'll give you the correct answer at the end...

-I've just remembered it.

-At the end of the pass.

-I've just figured it out.

OK. Now then, Barbara.

Um, there are two. I'm not sure of the first one,

but the second one is George Eliot

and the third one is Ralph Miliband.

I think I'll go for George Eliot.

OK, George Eliot, says Barbara.

No red line for you, for the lovely reason that you're already through.

But let's see how many people said George Eliot.

It's right.

Well, our lowest score so far has been yours as well, which was 3.

-George Eliot scores 11.

-APPLAUSE

14 is your total.

Very well played. Yes, she'd asked to be buried in Westminster Abbey,

but the dean wouldn't allow it because she was an atheist.

So he refused. Now, the electrical unit question.

Do you think it's come to you?

-It's Michael Faraday, isn't it?

-Michael Faraday is exactly right.

I couldn't get Farad out my head, and I thought it sounded...

European. So I went for Johann.

It's not bad, Johann. It's a good European name from the 1790s.

I'm going to get killed when I go back to work.

Oh, look at the score your would have had!

Would have scored you 2 points though. So you knew it

and you said you know it before we read it out, so...

Doesn't matter now. We're going home.

Let's look at the rest of these. You're right about Ralph Miliband,

father of the man who became leader of the Labour Party. 12 points.

Author of the play Sleuth. Do you know that one?

I'm trying to think of a Peter. Peter Shaffer?

-Yeah, Anthony Shaffer.

-So Anthony Shaffer, good.

Would have scored you 1 point. And the female poet?

Is Christina Rossetti. Would have scored you 4 points,

so the best answer on that board is Anthony Shaffer,

but Michael Faraday not far behind.

Thank you very much. So at the end of our second round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 200.

Oh, and with Michael Faraday, you'd have been in the head-to-head.

Oh, Mathew.

I don't think Wales will let me back in the country.

Is that the Severn Bridge shut?

Anyway, it's been wonderful having you on both shows.

-Alex and Mathew, great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for Scooter and Tas and Judith and Barbara,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Judith and Barbara, Scooter and Tas.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for our jackpot which currently stands at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

So now we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that, you're going to go head-to-head.

The difference is you can now confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Home and away kits.

We're going to show you five images now of home and away kits

of teams who played in the Premier League in 2013-2014.

Can you name the teams, please?

OK, thanks very much. Let's reveal our five kits and here they come.

We've got...

There we are. Five home and away kits.

Judith and Barbara, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

-(I think C is Aston Villa.)

-(I was going to say Aston Villa.)

(I think B is Chelsea. Shall we go with Aston Villa?)

-We'll choose C, Aston Villa.

-C, Aston Villa.

C, Aston Villa, say Judith and Barbara. Now, Scooter and Tas,

do you fancy talking us through the board? Thinking out loud for us?

Erm, I think A is Manchester United. B is...Chelsea.

I'm glad that they picked C because I was going to say West Ham.

-D, no clue. And E...

-No chance.

-I'm tempted to say C, West Ham, to be honest.

-It's up to you.

I don't know. It's up to you.

-I'm going to go with my gut. Let's say C, West Ham.

-C, West Ham.

So, you're both jockeying for C here.

Is it Aston Villa? Is it West Ham?

Judith and Barbara have said that C is Aston Villa.

Let's see if that's right and let's see...

Well, let's see if that's right. That'll tell us a lot.

It is right!

There we are.

APPLAUSE

28, but the key thing, it is right.

-Scooter and Tas.

-I'm watching now. I'm watching for this.

-Maybe you're also right.

-Good luck.

But, yeah, which means, Scooter and Tas, that you are...

..wrong. There we are. Well, Judith and Barbara, well done.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, the home kit's virtually identical, West Ham and Aston Villa,

but not the away kit, I'm afraid. But worth a go.

Now A, you thought was Man United. I wish it was. It's Fulham.

Would have scored you 15 points.

B was Chelsea. You knew that. Would have scored too many points though.

Would have scored you 42.

D was Arsenal, but would have scored too many points.

Would have scored 38. Now, E. No inkling about who it was?

I've... Portsmouth?

Swansea City. Swansea City.

And would have scored you 9 points,

so that's the best answer on the board.

Thank very much. Here comes your second question. Scooter and Tas,

you get to answer this one first, but you have to win it

to stay in the game, so very best of luck. It concerns...

Songs that share their titles with TV shows. Richard.

We're going to show you five sets of initials now which are songs

that share their name with TV shows.

We're also going to show you who had a hit with that song

and in what year as well.

So what songs slash TV shows do these initials stand for?

OK, Let's reveal our board of five songs

that share their titles with TV shows and we've got...

Scooter and Tas, you'll go first.

-(I know them all except the last one.)

-(I don't know the last one.)

-(You don't know number three, and I do.)

-(So try three.)

We've decided that we're going to go with number three.

Any Dream Will Do.

Any Dream Will Do, OK. Any Dream Will Do.

Now then, Judith and Barbara, the board is all yours.

Talk us through it if you can.

Well, we've got Life On Mars with David Bowie on the top.

Followed by Imagine with John Lennon.

I don't know P. I don't know the Dannii Minogue one.

-Pants?

-Pants! I think WILTY is Would I Lie To You?

-Shall we go for that?

-We'll go for that one.

OK, you're going to go for Would I Lie To You?

Any Dream Will Do, Would I Lie To You?

Scooter and Tas said Any Dream Will Do.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

It is, of course, right.

APPLAUSE

Judith and Barbara, meanwhile, have said WILTY is

Would I Lie To You? Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said that.

It's absolutely right, of course.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Scooter and Tas, you're back in the game.

-Well done, it's one all.

-Yeah, only one answer there

that would have beaten Any Dream Will Do.

Terrific head-to-head so far. Let's go through the answers.

Life On Mars. You were right, David Bowie.

Wouldn't have won you the point, though. 26 that would have scored.

I is Imagine.

And that would have scored you 71. Now, the bottom one,

I would have thought you could have had a guess at, because P

is the name of everyone's favourite daytime television show,

presented by that hunky guy,

Nick Knowles. It's Perfection.

-Oh!

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Would have scored you 5 points.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Things you find in the kitchen. Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five things

you'd find in your kitchen now, but we've given them in anagram form.

The team who can give us the most obscure answer

is going through to play for the jackpot, so best of luck.

OK. Let's reveal our five anagrams and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Five things you'd find in your kitchen.

-Judith and Barbara, you will go first.

-Eventually.

-Erm...

-Oh, come on.

-(Frying pan's the top one.)

-(Oh, yeah.)

-(Shall we go for that?)

(Go for that, because I can't think.)

-Erm, we'll go for frying pan for the top one.

-OK, frying pan.

Frying pan. Now, Scooter and Tas.

I think the last one is...mixing bowl.

-Yeah. Fridge-freezer, that one.

-Oh, yeah!

Dishwasher is the third one down. And the last one is...

-Tin opener!

-Tin opener, very good. Let's say tin opener.

OK, you're going to go for tin opener. Let's see.

Judith and Barbara said frying pan. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said frying pan.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

14 for frying pan. Scooter and Tas have said "note rep in"

is tin opener. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

If this beats 14...

..which it does, you go through into the final. Very well done indeed.

After three questions, Scooter and Tas,

you are through to the final 2-1.

Great head-to-head. The best two answers on the board.

It was the only answer you could have got

that would have won you the point.

It is fridge freezer. That's the biggest scorer.

Would have scored you 64 points. Dishwasher.

Would have scored you 32.

And mixing bowl, right at the bottom there, would have scored you 31.

-So, tin opener, best answer there.

-Thanks very much.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Judith and Barbara.

I mean, an exemplary performance throughout the show.

Some really good grouping in this last round, you scored 28

on both of your first two answers,

which won you the point in the first question,

lost you the point in the second.

And then half that, 14, for your last one.

-Just telling you what the maths is.

-Thank you.

We will see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that very much indeed.

-Judith and Barbara, thanks so much.

-APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

-But for Scooter and Tas,

it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Scooter and Tas,

you've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

You've done really well.

I'm thrilled you've got through to the final,

because it's always nice to see people do well,

but I'm sad you've got through

because it means we then say goodbye to you at the end.

We won't have you for a second show.

And I'm more upset because my other shirt, my wife absolutely hates

because it makes this one look plain.

-And I don't get to wear it now.

-You don't get to wear it.

-No.

The only consolation will be you have to win three grand.

-That's it. You have to win the jackpot.

-No pressure.

As always, you get to choose your category.

You have four options to choose from. Here they are.

I don't really know much about artists in the Tate's collection,

-so shall we do...?

-I think...

-Debut solo albums.

-Debut solo albums.

-Nice and easy, debut solo albums it is. Rich.

OK, very best of luck. Three questions here.

We are looking for the name of any track on the initial CD recording

of any of the following three albums.

Ronan Keating's debut solo album, Ronan.

Robbie Williams' debut solo album, Life Thru A Lens.

Or George Michael's debut solo album, Faith.

So any of the tracks listed

on the initial releases of those three albums, please.

Obviously, we won't accept title tracks

so we wouldn't accept Life Thru A Lens or Faith

because they haven't been polled.

And hidden tracks and stuff.

So it's just stuff that's listed on the albums.

OK, thank you very much indeed. Now as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Yep.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

Well, what do you think? I know Rollercoaster

was on Ronan Keating's album.

Erm, I think Robbie Williams had...

Didn't he have Rock Me DJ, or was that on his second album?

-No, that's a lot newer.

-Oh, all right.

I think... It's coming. What's on George Michael, Faith?

-I have Faith.

-Well, we can't have that.

-Didn't he do, erm... She's The One?

-She's The One.

-On that album?

That's Robbie Williams did that. Yeah, yeah.

Loads of people are going to know that one but that'll be one.

-Just trying to think.

-George Michael, I don't know.

Faith... He did, um...

-Faith.

-When You Say Nothing At All.

Was that on Ronan Keating's debut album? Rollercoaster.

-Wasn't that one of his?

-I think so. But I think that's a lot newer.

Erm...

-He did, erm...

-Ten seconds left.

-Old When I Die, Robbie Williams did.

I think that might be on that one.

Oh, what else? He did... He did Faith. Robbie Williams did Faith.

OK. I now need you three answers. What are they going to be?

OK, well, all goes for the Robbie Williams ones.

-OK.

-Old Before I Die.

-Old Before I Die.

-I think Robbie Williams did Faith.

-Faith.

-As well and She's The One.

She's The One. Now, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Old Before I Die, but I don't know if it's on that album.

Old Before I Die. We'll put that last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-She's The One.

She's The One, we'll put that first.

OK, let's pop those up in the board in that order and here they come.

Very, very best of luck.

Three nice-looking answers up on that board.

If one of these is pointless and you win 3,000 quid -

quite a nice jackpot to be taking home with you -

what will you be doing with that, Scooter?

I think I would buy each of my three lovely ladies at home

something nice. My wife and my five-year-old daughter, Eleanor,

and my three-year-old daughter, Adelaide.

Hi, Ellie. Hi, Addie. I'd buy them something nice

and probably the rest I might spend down the pub.

-Fair enough. Tas, how about you?

-I'd probably treat my mum

to a nice meal. And then I would buy very expensive cat toys.

Excellent. Very expensive cat toys. Some diamante cat toys.

OK, very good. She's The One.

Your least-confident shot at a pointless answer.

Let's find out if it's right. Let's find out,

for £3,000, if it's pointless.

Oh, no!

OK, well, we've cleared that one off the board.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on these two.

Faith was your second answer. Let's see in the first instance

if it's right. And then for £3,000, let's see if it's pointless too.

-No.

-No!

-Oh, no!

-OK, now.

I have great faith in this last one.

-Ironic you didn't have it in the Faith one.

-I'm afraid I didn't, no.

Everything is now riding on Old Before I Die.

Let's find out if it's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

If it's pointless, it will win you £3,000. Old Before I Die.

It's right!

So your first answer, She's The One, was incorrect.

As, I'm afraid, was Faith, your second answer. But Old Before I Die

takes us down into single figures, still going down.

-Oh, no!

-APPLAUSE

That's a good answer. It's a great score.

But I'm afraid it's not a pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000.

That will roll over onto the next show,

but it's been great having you. I'm so sorry it's been just one show.

But you've been fantastic contestants and you get to take home

a Pointless trophy each, so there is at least that.

APPLAUSE

Well played. You've been great fun as well.

She's The One was on his second album, I've Been Expecting You.

-And he didn't do Faith, he did Freedom.

-Oh, that was it.

Which wasn't on this album either, but that's the one he did.

Let's take a look at some pointless answers.

Life Is A Rollercoaster, if you'd said it, would have scored 19 points.

Also you'd have got 7 for When You Say Nothing At All

and 2 for In This Life.

Every other track on that album is a pointless answer, including Believe,

Keep On Walking, Only For You and The Way You Make Me Feel.

All of those pointless.

Robbie. Baby Girl Window, Clean, Killing Me,

One Of God's Better People was a pointless answer.

And George Michael...

A Last Request, Monkey, Hard Day, Kissing A Fool.

You also could have had Hand To Mouth and Look At Your Hands.

All pointless answers. Well done if you got any of those at home.

And unlucky in the studio. Well played.

Well, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Scooter and Tas.

But it's been fabulous having you on the show.

-Great contestants, Scooter and Tas.

-APPLAUSE

Who sadly didn't win the jackpot today, which means it rolls over

onto the next show when we will be playing for £4,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us, then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.