Episode 30 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless -

the game where we're always aiming for the obscure and ignoring the obvious.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one.

-Hello, I'm Laurie. This is Ross.

-And we're friends from Falkirk.

-Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Ryan. This is my girlfriend Sarah. And we're from Burnley.

-Couple number three.

-Hello, I'm Angela. I'm from Cheshire.

And this is my brother Brendon and he's from Hampshire.

And finally couple number four.

Hi, I'm Kit. This is my friend and ex-boss Nicola.

A bit of a pause on 'friend' there. And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll get to know more about each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If knowledge really is power, we should all probably be very nice to this man.

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everyone.

APPLAUSE

-Afternoon to you.

-And to you.

Just the loveliest show last time, wasn't it?

Elspeth and Irene, they were terrific.

Podium one and podium two will remember them well.

They were so lovely. They walked away with a jackpot.

Not the biggest jackpot we've ever given away.

But they were just brilliant throughout. A real treat.

So a lot to live up to on today's show from everyone.

Ross and Laurie on podium one - knocked out in Round One last time.

Fingers crossed we see more of you.

Ryan and Sarah on podium two, both doing English degrees,

got knocked out on the English literature round.

I imagine we'll be discussing that more as the show goes on.

But, yeah, should be a cracker.

Round One should be very good for Nic, I think.

Mm.

You'll find out why, but I suspect it will be good.

Looking forward to it, Richard.

Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put

to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are on the hunt for those all-important pointless answers.

Those being answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Elspeth and Irene won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

So all you have to remember is that the pair

with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

So do what you have to to make sure it's not you.

Our first category today is...

..Famous People.

How are you feeling, Nic? All right so far?

-So far, so good?

-Not good.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...famous Nicks.

-Famous Nicks, Richard.

-Surely that's got to give you an advantage.

We're gonna show you seven clues on each pass

to famous people who had the first name Nick.

You just need to tell us who they are, please.

It's gonna be 14 Nicks in all to get it home, so very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So we are looking for the surnames of these famous Nicks.

Here's our first board of Nicks. And we've got:

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. A board of Nicks.

-Ross, welcome back.

-Thank you.

It was Round One last time.

-Oh, it was the world leaders.

-Yeah.

-There was nothing wrong with either of your answers.

-Just too high.

-They were all right. They were high.

-Yeah.

Now, Ross, how do you and Laurie know each other?

We've been friends for quite a while.

We attended the same primary school and secondary school.

Laurie was actually in the same year group as my brother.

So we've known each other for quite a while.

We also share a really close group of friends

and Laurie goes out with one of my best friends, David.

Very good. OK. Whose idea was it to come on the show?

-Laurie's idea.

-Mine.

-You went with Ross, not with David?

-He didn't want to come on.

-What?

-Confused. I know. He's a fool.

-David.

-David.

-She chose the better man, obviously.

David, we are having such a good time down here.

Having a right laugh.

Anyway, Ross, let's just put that to one side for the moment, Laurie.

Ross, what are you going to go for?

Which of these Nicks?

There's a couple that I should know,

but the surnames aren't coming to my head.

So I'm going to go for Nick Faldo.

-Nick Faldo.

-Yeah.

-Nick Faldo. For which answer, sorry?

-Oh, sorry. British golfer.

For the British golfer. Nick Faldo for the British golfer says Ross.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Nick Faldo.

52.

-APPLAUSE

-52. That's OK.

52.

Sir Nick Faldo, of course, he was not noted for his sociability.

I think when Sandy Lyle, the Scottish golfer,

was once paired with him in a round of golf -

he was told he was paired with Nick Faldo -

he said, "Well, I suppose I'd better take my Walkman."

-Maybe he just had a really good tape to listen to.

-Mixtape.

-Yeah, a mixtape.

-That someone had made him.

-That Ian Woosnam had made him.

-Oh, yeah. That'd be good.

All right, thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Sarah.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

Welcome back.

Now, see, if I were cruel, I could dwell on the...the round

you went out on, the novel round and missing adjectives.

-What is your degree?

-It's English language.

-Oh, it's language.

So you don't have to read anything for that.

-Well, exactly. We don't read books.

-Fine.

-So that was irrelevant.

There we are. So, fine. We can forget about it.

-That case is closed.

-Thank you.

-For now.

-Not for Ryan.

Yes, that's true, Ryan. This is true.

-Bit of passing the buck there, Sarah.

-Yep.

How are you feeling about Nicks, by the way?

I know one.

One that...well, doubting it now.

But I'll have to go for it.

Nick Cave as Australian lead singer.

Nick Cave. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Nick Cave.

-It's right.

-Yes.

-52 is our score at the moment.

You've passed that.

20. Not bad at all.

Well played, Sarah. Nick Cave.

Yeah, the fabulous Nick Cave.

Actually, 20 points, it's not bad for Nick.

He's been around long enough, I guess,

that generation after generation sort of know who he is.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Angela, welcome to Pointless. It's great to have you here.

-And you're here with your brother.

-Yes.

Do you watch Pointless together?

We don't...we live the far ends of the country.

I picked up that from the introduction, yes.

-We are fiercely competitive. Yes.

-OK.

-And so who is the better of the pair?

-Oh, me.

-He thinks he knows everything, but...

-But you actually do.

-You're from Congleton in Cheshire.

-That's right.

And what fills your days up there, Angela?

I had quite a large business at one time. It's a small business now.

But I'm a schoolbook supplier.

But a little bit more than that because I actually sort of go in

and refurbish libraries and...

You know, I mean, you know, I have really good people

who come back to me and say, "Do this, do that. Money is no object."

-I like that word.

-Good stuff.

Now, Angela, there are the Nicks. What are their surnames?

Right, I am going to go for the financial trader

and that was Nick Leeson.

Nick Leeson says Angela. Nick Leeson. Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Well, 52 is our high score. 20 is our low.

You passed 52. You passed...no, you don't quite pass 20.

-22.

-APPLAUSE

That is interesting. I thought that was going to go a lot further down the tower.

He was so famous at the time though, wasn't he?

And also he wrote his memoir 'Rogue Trader'

and is played by Ewan McGregor in the film.

That's a benchmark for Brendon to beat now.

We really will find out who's the cleverest.

-22. Keep your eye on that.

-Very good.

OK. Now, we come to you, Nic. Oh, Nic!

Nic, it's your round. Nic, welcome to the show.

Lovely to have you here. What do you do?

I'm a science teacher in Ruislip.

-Ruislip.

-Yes.

-Love Ruislip.

And science - love science. We love science.

Oh, yeah, we love science. Lots of science questions in the...

I did used to like my name as well but I don't like it anymore.

-What's your surname, Nic?

-Pittaway. I'm not on here.

-Well, there's another board.

-Oh, OK. Possibly.

-On that one.

Which of the sciences? Or all of them?

-I teach all of them to GCSE and then A-level biology.

-Right.

Excellent. Now, then, Nic, that board is all yours.

The only one really that I vaguely think I might know is the top one,

which I really hope is Nick Hornby.

Nick Hornby. Well, Angela, the arbiter of such things is nodding.

Let's see. Nick Hornby. How many of our 100 people said Nick Hornby?

It's absolutely right.

Well, 52 is our high score. You passed that.

28.

And we're not the highest scorers.

-28 for Nick Hornby.

-Well played, Nic.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

-The British animator.

-Nick Park.

-Nick Park.

Yep, he would have scored you 14 points.

-The BBC political editor.

-Nick Robinson.

-Nick Robinson.

He would have scored you 18. And Good Morning with Anne and Nick.

This, the one for the first podium, Nick Ross.

-Uh, Nick Owen.

-Oh, it's Nick Owen.

-Nick Owen, yeah.

-Oh!

-That's interesting. Nick Owen would have scored you nine points.

-So the best answer on the board, actually.

-Thanks very much.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

20, the best score of that pass, Sarah.

Very, very well done indeed.

That puts you and Ryan in a very comfortable position at this stage.

Then up to 22, where we find Angela and Brendon.

28, Nic and Kit. 52, Ross and Laurie.

Now, Laurie, fingers crossed.

We can't say goodbye to you at the end of this round.

-I hope so.

-That wouldn't be right at all.

Fingers crossed, there will be a lovely low-scoring Nick

on that board that you know and no-one else nicks.

We're gonna come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more famous Nicks on the board

and here they are - we've got:

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Seven Nicks for you to have a go at. Kit.

A warm welcome to you, Kit. Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Kit?

-I'm a teacher as well.

I used to teach science with Nic, which is how I know her.

-But now I teach drama, so...

-Wow.

Was it the lure of the drama

or was it the wanting to get away from the laboratory?

Well, blowing things up is quite fun, but we have fun in drama

as well cos you get to sort of direct plays

and do cheesy musicals and try on hats, which I love.

Was it the drama teacher didn't turn up one day and you covered?

No, it was more...sort of more than that.

They had a vacancy there and they sort of went,

"Well, actually, do you want to have a go at that?"

"Actually, Kit, we think you're better at drama

"cos, actually, some of the science results are just a bit..."

-That's what Nic rather thinks, yeah.

-Really?

OK, well, listen, you're on 28.

The high scorers, Laurie and Ross, on 52.

So 23 or less gets you through.

OK, when this thing came up, I've just had a complete mind blank

and I actually literally can't think of one answer for any of them.

But while we've been chatting,

is Lord Sugar's right-hand man Nick...is it Hewson?

Nick Hewson, says Kit. Nick Hewson. Here's your red line.

Get below that with Nick Hewson and you are through to the next round.

Is that right, Nick Hewson, though?

How many people said it if it is?

Oh, Kit, I'm afraid there's your answer. Not a correct answer.

128 is your total, that having scored you the maximum.

Yeah, sorry, Kit.

At least the good news is I think secondary school pupils

tend to be quite forgiving of that sort of thing.

-I'm all right.

-Nic, you are all right.

I suspect you won't have any trouble at all when you go back to school.

-No. None.

-Hey, kids, give Kit a break. Come on. It's tough.

I know he's got a whole board and didn't know any of them at all

and he's a teacher, but come on.

OK, let's just... Don't you think?

-It's stressful, isn't it? It's stressful appearing here.

-It is.

If you've never been on any sort of stage before.

Oh, no, wait a minute... THEY LAUGH

Brendon, welcome to the show. Good to have you here.

-What do you do, Brendon?

-I'm a management consultant.

And I mostly focus on doing what I call

corporate health checks for companies,

which is basically like sending your company to the doctor.

Then I'll have a look at it, see what's wrong.

-So you go in, you probe the company.

-Exactly.

Have a look at all the different systems, personnel, et cetera.

-And then give it to them straight.

-Absolutely.

Do they always say, "Tell us it straight, Brendon"?

-They just say, "Get lost."

-Oh, really?

What interests you otherwise, Brendon?

Lots of sport, films, music from the '60s, '70s,

mostly rock music, not modern music.

And some outdoor sports as well.

Tennis sometimes, if the weather is good enough. Cycling.

Now, then, you're on 22, Brendon.

The good news is you're through to the next round whatever happens, even if you score 100 points.

I have every confidence you're going to find a cracking answer on this board.

Because we can't go out, there is one I'm going to take a punt at,

which I think the American tennis coach.

I may not have the surname right but I think it's Nick Saltari.

Nick Saltari, says Brendon. Let's see if that's right.

No red line, as I say, cos you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Nick Saltari.

Nope. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer. Scores you 100 points.

Takes your total up to 122, but you're through anyway.

Sorry, Brendon - I tell you what though,

this round has gone perfectly for Angela, hasn't it?

Literally perfectly, cos she looks much better than you

and you've still gone through.

You couldn't have written it better, could you?

I'll give the correct answer to that one at the end of the pass,

but well done for having a go at a tough one.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Ryan, I've got great news for you as well.

There is a place for you in Round Two.

-Brilliant.

-Yeah. Yeah.

-Now, Ryan, so you are studying English literature.

-Yeah.

In your spare time, what are you getting up to

at Northumbria University?

What's your favourite night...it doesn't have to be night, obviously,

but what's your favourite activity?

Well, when I'm at university, I go to Tyneside Cinema quite a lot.

But now I'm in third year,

so it's...well, my dad's in the audience, so I have to say this...

Oh, I see. Cos your dad's here. I see.

"Well, I work very hard. It's all pretty much all hard work."

OK. Good stuff. Well, listen, as I say, you're already through.

So no pressure on you.

But nice opportunity to pull a rabbit out of a hat maybe.

Well, I know four.

If I'm taking a punt,

I'm gonna say presenter of 'DIY SOS', Nick Knowles.

Nick Knowles, says Ryan. No red line, as you're already through.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said Nick Knowles.

It is of course right.

50.

Takes your total up to 70.

-He also hosts Perfection, of course, Nick Knowles.

-He certainly does.

And opened his own antique shop in Berkshire in 2013.

-Did he?

-He did, yeah.

Now, Laurie.

Laurie, this is where the game is going to be played. Right here.

The high scorers on the far podium over there, 128 is their score.

On the near podium here, it's 52. You have to score 75 or less.

HE SIGHS

I don't know how to dress it any other way, Laurie,

but this is make or break.

Monte Carlo or bust. Do you want to talk us through the board?

I know two left on that board.

I wish I could remember the show jumper.

I know the bottom one is Nick Grimshaw.

And I think the top one is Nick Frost.

So I think that's what I'm going to go for.

Going for Nick Frost. OK. Here's your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Nick Frost,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Nick Frost.

It's right. And you're through. Very well done.

17.

Very good answer. 69.

The lowest total of the whole round, in fact, Laurie.

-Well played, Laurie. That's more fun than last time, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Very well done. You picked the right one of the ones you knew as well.

Cos you're right about Nick Grimshaw,

but he would have scored you a few more points.

He would have scored you 27 points.

Let's clear up the wrong answers we've had.

Lord Sugar's right-hand man is not Nick Hewson.

You're not a million miles away, Kit. It's Nick Hewer.

Nick Hewer also presents Countdown now. 16 points for him.

And the American tennis coach is Nick Bollettieri.

Would have scored you seven points.

I know a lot of tennis fans would have got that.

It's the best answer on the board. So very well played if you did.

-Founder member of Duran Duran, Nick Rhodes.

-Nick Rhodes.

He would have scored you 19.

And the show jumper, Nick Skelton was the answer.

Nick Skelton. 21 points.

There we are. Well, thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home

with a high score of 128.

It's not ridiculously high, it just is the highest.

It's Kit and Nic.

And this being your round and all, Nic. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

But anyway, we will see you again next time.

Look forward to that very much indeed.

Meantime, thanks very much. Kit and Nic.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we're gonna have to say goodbye to another pair.

Oh, Ross and Laurie, well done, you.

-It was first round exit last time for you.

-Yeah.

This time, you were the low scorers in that round.

-Yeah, thanks to Laurie.

-Well, still. Well done, the pair of you.

And Ryan and Sarah, only one point ahead there, I think you were.

And then Angela and Brendan - oh, Saltari.

That nearly did for you. Nearly did for you. But you're fine.

You've had a stay of execution. You're here.

You have to make this round work

and if you can get to the next round, you're allowed to confer.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is

The Oscars.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Best Picture nominees of the 1990s as they could.

Best Picture nominees of the 1990s, Richard.

Yes, simply looking for any film

that was nominated for Best Picture Oscar

at any of the Oscar ceremonies between 1990 and 1999, please.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

OK. Ross.

Not massively confident with films from the 1990s.

I think I'm gonna go a bit of a blockbuster.

-Independence Day.

-Independence Day, says Ross.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Independence Day.

Oh, bad luck, Ross.

Sorry. An incorrect answer. Good guess, but I'm afraid incorrect.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, right era, but never nominated, I'm afraid.

Won a visual effects Oscar, I think, but not the best picture.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Sarah.

Yes. How are we feeling about this?

-Best Picture Oscar from 1990s.

-Not great.

I'm just gonna name a big film of the '90s, hope for the best.

That sounds like a great idea.

-All right. Titanic.

-Titanic.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-It's right.

-Yeah!

That's good.

31.

Very well done indeed. 31.

Yeah, nominated in 1998 and won in 1998 as well. Titanic.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Brendon.

The Green Mile.

The Green Mile.

Oh, that sounds good. Let's see if it's right though.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said The Green Mile.

Oh, bad luck.

Brendon, I'm afraid another incorrect answer there.

That scores you another 100 points.

That's a particularly unlucky one though because it has been nominated

for Best Picture, but that was in the 2000 ceremony, I'm afraid.

So just past our cut-off point. Sorry, Brendon.

So it came out in 1999 and was then nominated in the...

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Oh. That's really tough.

Tough cusp to be caught on there.

Oh, that sounds painful.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

Only two between the three pairs. Sarah, very well done.

Lovely low score from you - that puts you and Ryan in pole position.

Then Brendon and Angela and Ross and Laurie all tied on 100 there.

So, Angela and Laurie, it's between the pair of you in this next pass.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so remember, we're looking for the titles

of any film nominated for Best Picture in the 1990s.

-Angela.

-Not a great category for me.

I have got one in my mind. I'm not even sure if it was in the 1990s.

But I'm going to say Schindler's List.

Schindler's List, says Angela. Schindler's List.

Well, you're jointly tied on 100 with Laurie and Ross.

No red line for you, as you are the high scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said Schindler's List.

Absolutely right.

Well, 31 is our low score, low correct score, and you passed that.

Four for Schindler's List.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

104. They mean business on that far podium.

Well played, Angela. Nominated in 1994 and won in 1994.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Ryan.

Four is our lowest score so far.

Do you think you can get a nice, low score lower than four?

I don't...I'm not sure, but I know I can get a right one.

OK, well, that's good enough.

If it's lower than 72, you're in the head-to-head.

-I'm going to say Forrest Gump.

-Forrest Gump, says Ryan.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Nine.

Nine takes your total up to 40.

Yeah, won in 1995 and Robert Zemeckis won best director.

Tom Hanks won best actor. He turned down an upfront fee for that.

He took points off the profits. Made over 30 million from the film.

Very clever.

Now, Laurie, this is exciting. This is very, very exciting.

Worthy of an Oscar-nominated film,

I would say, in fact, this end of round.

It's very, very exciting indeed. You have to score three or less.

It needs to be a brilliant answer.

I don't have brilliant answers.

A toss-up between two.

I thought maybe Shakespeare In Love,

but I don't know if that's after the '90s.

So I think Beauty And The Beast won,

so I'm just going to go Beauty And The Beast.

OK. Beauty And The Beast for Best Picture.

Let's find out if that's right.

There's your red line. You have to get below that red line.

Let's find out. Beauty And The Beast. Is it right?

It's right.

It is right, Laurie. Beauty And The Beast.

If that goes down below that red line...

And it does! One!

That is superb.

APPLAUSE

101 is your total. You are through to the head-to-head.

We'll discuss film rights for this round at a later point.

Nominated in 1992. It's a terrific answer. One point.

Shakespeare In Love would have been a very good answer as well.

Three points for Shakespeare In Love.

Four Weddings And A Funeral also got three points.

English Patient, Good Will Hunting. Both three points.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers though.

There's quite a few.

Babe would have been a pointless answer.

Born On The Fourth Of July with Tom Cruise

who was born on the third of July, funnily enough.

Dead Poets Society - pointless answer.

The winner at the 1990 ceremony,

Driving Miss Daisy, was a pointless answer.

The Coen Brothers' Fargo.

Field Of Dreams - impossible to watch without crying -

was a pointless answer.

Quiz Show, also a pointless answer.

Sense And Sensibility, Unforgiven. A couple more.

Bugsy, also pointless answer. Scent Of A Woman. Howards End.

The Crying Game was a pointless answer. The Fugitive.

Godfather, Part III. The Postman. The Prince Of Tides.

All of those, pointless answers.

Very well done, if you said any of those.

Let's take a look at the ones that most of our 100 people said.

The most popular answers...

Forrest Gump, nine.

Dances With Wolves, also nine.

Titanic, way out ahead with 31. But a correct answer.

I'd say that, Brendon,

that's very, very unlucky with The Green Mile, isn't it?

That's an unlucky way to get knocked out.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Yeah, well, as Richard has just said,

very, very unlucky to get knocked out there.

I imagine if it had qualified, it was probably going to be pointless.

But anyway, there we are. I'm sorry, we have to say goodbye to you.

But Angela and Brendon,

we know what kind of stuff you're made of next time round.

We expect fireworks from you. We look forward to that very much.

Meantime, thanks very much for playing. Angela and Brendon.

APPLAUSE

But for Ryan and Sarah and Laurie and Ross,

it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Ryan and Sarah, Ross and Laurie.

You're one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for our jackpot, which currently still stands at £1,000.

But this is the round where we decide who goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

And we do it by making you go head-to-head.

The difference is you can play as teams now.

You can confer before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, well done. This is great!

It's our two returning pairs. Oh!

I always say returning pairs do better on their second appearance

and usually it's a lie.

But in this case, you've actually proven me right.

So, there, I'm very grateful for that.

Ross and Laurie, it was Round One last time.

Ryan and Sarah, Round Two. So you've both done significantly better.

Very, very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...primates.

Primates, Richard.

I'm going to show you five pictures of primates now,

along with the first and last letters of their names.

Can you identify the most obscure of these, please?

-Should be cute at least.

-Won't it?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five primates and here they are.

We have:

There we are. Five primates.

Ryan and Sarah, you've scored the lowest throughout the show so far.

So you will go first.

HE WHISPERS

I think we're gonna go for...B.

-Yellow baboon.

-Yellow baboon, say Ryan and Sarah. Yellow baboon.

Now, then, Ross and Laurie, over to you.

Do you want to talk through all of them?

See if you can have a punt.

We don't think we know A. C would be a gorilla.

We're not sure about D.

We think we're gonna go with E. Black howler monkey.

The black... Oh, that stands to reason, doesn't it?

That's what it's doing.

Black howler monkey. OK.

So we have yellow baboon versus black howler monkey.

Now, Ryan and Sarah have said yellow baboon for B.

Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

54 for yellow baboon.

Ross and Laurie have said black howler monkey for E.

Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people

said black howler monkey.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done indeed.

Look at that. Down it goes to 24.

Very well done, Ross and Laurie.

After one question, you are up, one-nil.

Very nicely worked out there. Yep, well played.

Now, A is the best answer on the board.

And that one is an emperor tamarin.

Would have scored you one point. Terrific answer, if you said that.

They're called that after Wilhelm II who had that big moustache.

It's where they got the name emperor from.

C is a gorilla. What do you think gorilla scored?

I'm guessing that's in the low 90s.

-97.

-High 97.

Gorilla, fantastic sort of glam-rock styling there.

It's a good look, isn't it? A bit '70s, but still a good look.

Yeah, but still.

And...D

is a Barbary macaque.

-Three points for that.

-There we are. Thanks very much indeed.

So here comes your second question.

Ryan and Sarah, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

So best of luck with that.

It concerns titles of the royal family.

Titles of the royal family, Richard.

We're gonna show you five titles now held by present members of the royal family.

We need you to tell us the first name

of the people who hold these titles, please.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five titles and here they come. We have:

Now, then, Ross and Laurie, you will go first.

SHE WHISPERS

-LAURIE:

-Um, we only know the Duchess of Cambridge and the Duke of York.

But we think they'd both be pretty high.

We'll just have to go Kate for Duchess of Cambridge.

Kate for the Duchess of Cambridge, say Ross and Laurie.

Now, then, Ryan and Sarah, the rest of the board is yours,

if you want to talk us through it.

-We...

-Don't know.

We don't know many of those.

We might go the Duchess of Cornwall

as Camilla Parker Bowles.

So you're going to say Camilla.

So we have Kate or Catherine versus Camilla.

Ross and Laurie have gone for Kate. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's... Oh, look at that. 85.

Popular choice.

Meanwhile, Ryan and Sarah have said Camilla for the Duchess of Cornwall.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said that.

Oh, well done!

Camilla does it.

78.

You're back in the game, Ryan and Sarah.

After two questions, it's one-all.

Yeah, there's four very big scorers on this board.

You weren't tempted to go for the Duke of York?

-No, cos I think I've got the wrong person.

-Who would you have said?

I was thinking of the Queen's husband, but it's not.

It's not the Queen's husband, no. If it is, there's a Jeremy Kyle episode about to come up.

THEY LAUGH

It is Prince Andrew.

So Andrew is the answer there. Would have scored 71 points.

The Earl of Wessex is Edward.

He would have scored 53.

And the best answer on the board is the Duke of Gloucester.

-Richard.

-Richard, yep. Absolutely.

Seven points for that. Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed. It all comes down to a third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question today concerns percussion instruments.

Percussion instruments, Richard.

Yeah, we're gonna show you five percussion instruments now but in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer?

Thanks very much indeed.

So let's reveal our five percussion instruments and here they are.

Ryan and Sarah, you will go first.

-Do you know any?

-No.

I know 'No Hex Ploy' is xylophone.

We're gonna go for No Hex Ploy as xylophone.

Xylophone say Ryan and Sarah. Xylophone.

-Ross and Laurie, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

-Not really, no.

I was saying the second from the bottom was bassoon,

but there's a G in it, so that's clearly not right.

The only other one that we know

is the bottom one is tambourine.

OK, you're going to go for tambourine.

So we have xylophone versus tambourine.

Ryan and Sarah said xylophone for No Hex Ploy.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

43.

APPLAUSE

43 for xylophone. 43.

Now, Ross and Laurie, what do you think tambourine

is going to score in comparison?

Probably 60, I'd say.

-Yeah, I honestly don't know.

-OK. Well, let's find out.

Tambourine, is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

Oh, look at that. Tambourine wins. 25.

25 for tambourine, which means Ross and Laurie,

after three questions, you're through to the final - two-one.

Well played. Let's go through the rest of these answers

with the biggest score first.

Go Snob is the biggest score. It's 'bongos', of course.

It would have scored you 59.

-Large Tin.

-That's the only one I can't get.

-Triangle.

-Oh, it's triangle. Oh, yeah.

That would have scored 37.

-And the best answer is the top one.

-Is glockenspiel.

Glockenspiel. Yep. That would have scored you six points.

-Well done if you got all of those.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Ryan and Sarah.

You came into this as the low scorers.

Nothing wrong with any of your answers.

But there were some big ones there. Yes, yellow baboon.

Might you have got any of those other primates?

-No. No chance.

-Yeah, they were tough, weren't they?

-Yeah, they were.

-They really were.

It's been lovely having you on both shows. Thank you for playing.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you now when you were so close to the final.

But Ryan and Sarah, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

For Ross and Laurie, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Ross and Laurie.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

There it is. Well, what a difference today has been.

You were the low scorers in Round One,

looked like you might have been leaving at the end of Round Two.

But then, Laurie, you came riding to the rescue

with that brilliant answer, Beauty And The Beast. Wonderful.

As always, you get to choose your category from the four we give you.

Let's see what four we've got for you today.

They are:

-I know what I want to go for.

-Yeah.

Well, I know nothing about any of the other subjects, so you can...

-International football teams.

-International football teams it is.

OK, very best of luck. Here are your three questions.

We're looking for the name of any players in any of the following three teams.

So any player who made an on-field appearance in the Netherlands team

that won the 1988 European Championship against the USSR.

We're looking for any player who made an on-field appearance

for Argentina in their 1986 World Cup win against West Germany.

Or any player who made an on-field appearance for Brazil

when they beat Italy in the 1970 World Cup final.

So anyone who made an on-field appearance

during any of those three games for those teams.

Very best of luck.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up

with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

This is all down to you.

I don't know any at all.

'88, I was 2. '86, I was born.

'70 is...

-But can you remember any?

-I think a few.

I know Claudio Caniggia played in the Argentina team,

but I don't know if it was Italia '90 or if it was the '86 World Cup.

Just go for that anyway.

In the other one's team, maybe Danny Blind.

I know, again, he was, like, early '90s or...

So I don't know if he would have still been in the team then.

-Maybe.

-The Brazil team.

Everybody is going to be way too high of what I think of.

Not that I can think of off the top of my head.

I'll probably go Danny Blind.

Yeah, the first one you said as well. Yeah.

-10 seconds left.

-What about another Argentina person?

No, I'd probably be punting for another from the other one's team...

OK, that's your time up.

I now need your three answers. What are they going to be?

First one, I'm going to go Claudio Caniggia

for the 1986 Argentina team.

-Claudio Caniggia.

-Yep.

-OK.

I'm also gonna go for Ronald Koeman for the '88 Holland team.

-Ronald Koeman.

-And Danny Blind as well.

-And Danny Blind.

-Yeah.

-OK.

Of those three, which do you think

is your best shot at a pointless answer?

If it's right, probably Claudio Caniggia.

OK, Claudio Caniggia we'll put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Ronald Koeman.

Ronald Koeman we'll put first.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board and here they are.

We have got Ronald Koeman, Danny Blind and Claudio Caniggia.

Very best of luck.

Three answers.

You sort of felt around a bit to get those. You plucked them...

You weren't entirely confident about any of them, but who knows?

Let's hope they're all right.

Let's hope at least one of them is pointless.

Now, if one of them is pointless and you were to win that jackpot

of £1,000, what would you do with that?

Ross, you first.

Just...well, I'm in the process of buying a house just now,

so money would come in quite handy towards that.

But ideally, I'd put it towards a holiday, to be honest, so...

-Laurie?

-I probably owe my dad quite a bit of money.

But I'd probably just buy a handbag or something with it.

-But I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

-That's honest.

You're hoping having said that now, he might just wave it through,

say, "Oh, it's fine, it's fine."

Well, listen, best of luck. Your first answer was Ronald Koeman.

This was your least confident answer.

In this case, we were looking for members of the Netherlands team

who won the European Championships in 1988.

Let's find out. Ronald Koeman. Is it right, in the first instance?

And if it is, did anyone say it? Is it pointless?

Well, it's right. And that was the first thing it had to be.

Now, if Ronald Koeman takes us all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Taking us down through the teens into single figures.

Down it goes. Still going down. You've done it! All right!

-Very well done indeed.

-THEY CHEER

Oh, fantastic. Congratulations.

Brilliant work. Ronald Koeman.

Well done, Ross.

Well, congratulations. Ronald Koeman was a pointless answer,

which means you go away with our jackpot of £1,000.

Oh, superb.

And you had no idea if it was even right, let alone pointless.

I thought it was right. There was no way I thought it was pointless.

-Well, Richard.

-Yes, very, very well done.

There's only three members of that team scored any points at all

and that was Gullit, van Basten and Frank Rijkaard as well.

So Ronald Koeman was a terrific answer.

So, Laurie, you saw us through with that brilliant answer

-in Round Two and now...

-Yeah, he's pulled it out now.

Absolutely. I think you've both earned your spurs here.

Let's take a look at some of the Dutch players

who were pointless.

You could have had Berry van Aerle.

You could have had Erwin Koeman as well, Ronald Koeman's brother.

Jan Wouters also a pointless answer.

Hans van Breukelen was also

a pointless answer for that team, the goalie.

Let's take a look at a few of the Argentina team.

Hector Enrique. Marcelo Trobbiani.

Nery Pumpido. And Sergio Batista.

Also could have had Burruchaga and Valdano for that.

Claudio Caniggia, terrific answer, but his time was...

I mean, four years after he was certainly playing,

but not in that...not in that World Cup, I'm afraid.

Same with Danny Blind. Wasn't around in the '88 final.

Let's take a look at the Brazilians.

You could have had Brito, you could have had Everaldo,

Felix and Gerson as well. Very well done if you said any of those.

And terrific work there. I don't know how you did it.

But you did it and it was terrific stuff. Well played.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Ross and Laurie,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

-APPLAUSE