Episode 35 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

And a very warm welcome to Pointless, the show where obvious

answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Georgie. This is my friend Mark and we're from Leeds.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Steve.

This is my friend Jez and we are from Kinver in South Staffordshire.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Jake.

This is my mum, Victoria, and we're from London.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Adrian. This is my friend Stan.

I'm from Bromley in Kent and Stan is from Horsham in West Sussex.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about each of you throughout the show

as it goes along, so that just

leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Overseeing Pointless like an umpire

and, like an umpire, he just cannot be serious,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. APPLAUSE

Thank you, everyone. Hiya.

-Afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-I'd say you're in a very good mood.

-Yeah, do you know, I think I am.

-Oh, good.

-I can't remember why.

-That makes a change.

-Yeah.

Now, we learnt a very, very valuable lesson on the last show,

-a very valuable lesson.

-Yes.

Which is always listen to your mum, that's the key thing.

I think most of us know that anyway, but some people don't know that.

-I tell you one person who doesn't know that - Jake.

-He knows it now.

So head-to-head, Jake and Victoria against Michael and Rachel,

they were 1-0 up.

Victoria suggested going for a particular answer,

Jake overruled her in that way that 23-year-old sons do.

He was fairly sure. And they got knocked out.

Victoria's answer was the right one. And then Michael and Rachel

went on to pick up the jackpot... VICTORIA GASPS

with three Pointless answers as well.

-Oh, wow.

-Yeah.

So, Jake, just saying.

LAUGHTER

-Just saying. That's an expensive lesson, isn't it?

-Yes.

So, we're back to £1,000 today which is always good, isn't it?

I think everybody likes that because of the simplicity of it.

Victoria and Jake were terrific last time.

Mark and Georgie also made an impression last time.

Hopefully see a bit more of you today.

Thanks very much indeed. And now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are on the hunt for obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone is trying to find a pointless answer -

an answer that none of our 100 people gave. And each time

that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

As you'll have gathered, Rachel and Michael won the jackpot last time

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

So, all you have to remember is that the pair with

the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

So just make sure that's not you.

Our first category today is...

Soundtracks.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Artists Of 1990s Film Songs. Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you the names of seven top 40 hits,

all of which were featured on films.

You just need to tell us the name of the artist, please.

There's going to be seven on each board, there's going to be 14

in all, to have a go at home. So very best of luck.

OK, so we're looking for the artists who recorded these songs that

featured in the soundtracks of 1990s films,

and here's our first board of seven.

-Georgie, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

-Nice to be here.

-You had a bit of a...

I mean, what an extreme round we had from you.

Yeah, I had a bit of a mind lapse.

I mean, Mark tried to save the day with his one-point answer,

but couldn't quite be brought back.

I knew the answer was wrong as soon as I said it, to be honest.

-You had the highest and lowest score of the round.

-Yeah.

-I mean, you encompassed the whole range there.

-Exactly.

Just in one pair. It was fantastic.

Anyway, remind us what you do, Georgie.

I'm a supervisor in a high-end retail, fashion.

And remind us what you like getting up to.

In my spare time, I like watching films,

so this round will hopefully be good for me.

I do a lot of photography and I'm a keen whisky drinker as well.

A keen whisky...

A sort of sampler of whisky, you understand.

-Very much an academic pursuit.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

So, yes, you said you're hoping...

I mean, you can see what the round is looking like.

-Yeah, I know quite a few of them.

-Oh, good.

It's just judging what other people will know from the hundred.

I think I'm going to go with Kiss From A Rose,

which is by Seal.

Seal, says Georgie, for Kiss From A Rose.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Seal.

It's right.

46.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad start there, it was number 20 on its original release,

went to number four later. He's got a degree in architecture, Seal.

And you can hear it in the songs because he plans a

-meticulous, classical design there.

-That's exactly right.

That's exactly right.

Jez, welcome. Welcome to Pointless. What you do, Jez?

I'm an infrared thermographer.

LAUGHTER

What was the last word you said?

-Thermographer.

-A thermographer. OK. Yeah, that's good.

That is just exciting. That's fun.

Wow, do you go out looking for fugitives?

-With night vision goggles?

-I wish.

Or ghosts. No. I take pictures of buildings looking for energy loss...

ALEXANDER YAWNS, LAUGHTER

No, good for you. That is fantastic. That is quite fun though

-and very revealing, I should think.

-Yes.

Have you ever seen anything you shouldn't have seen in infrared?

Sadly, no.

The infrared figure of someone stepping from a shower or something,

-I don't know.

-No.

-Sorry.

-How disappointing.

I once saw a vet with his hands in half a horse.

LAUGHTER

Why didn't you say, "Yes, I've seen something very interesting," then?

-It's a weekly event.

-A vet with his hands in half a horse.

-Wow.

-How about that?

-There's a job.

Brilliant. OK, now, Jez.

There is the board. How many of those do you think you know?

Quite a few, actually.

I think I'm going to go for Iris

with the Goo Goo Dolls.

The Goo Goo Dolls. OK, let's see if that's right. The Goo Goo Dolls.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It is right.

46 is our only score at this point, you've passed that.

Still passing that.

9, very well done indeed.

Goo Goo Dolls scores you 9. Good work, Jez.

APPLAUSE

Iris is one of those songs that you don't think you know but you do.

If you go and put Iris on your computer or something now,

I guarantee you'll know it but you won't have heard of it.

It's been in the top 100 for about 20 years non-stop.

Yeah. Thank you very much.

-Now, Victoria. Welcome. Back, I should say.

-Thank you.

So, our low scorers going into the head-to-head round.

-Ooh, nice big jackpot waiting there.

-Thanks.

Then we had... It was a tough round on rocket science, to be honest.

Doesn't get much tougher than... I mean, brain surgery, rocket science.

Seemed quite cruel.

It would have been slightly risible if that round

-had turned out to be a doddle.

-Exactly.

But, no, the rocket science round was genuinely hard.

Victoria, remind us what you like getting up to. What fills your day?

Hobby wise, I'm a knitter and crocheter.

You see, we didn't get round to this

-because we were on the news last time.

-We were on the news, I know.

Well, that does fill my... News is just my work.

No, but hobby wise, I'm a crafty person.

-Doesn't sound very interesting, does it?

-No, sounds good.

-I got a lot of crafting done here.

-It's good.

Really, I imagine you have, yes, between the rounds.

Obviously, it looks like it's very slick.

We've been in here for, what is it? Nearly 17 hours

we've been in now so far. Still only Round One.

I'm actually still doing it behind this thing, nobody can see.

Knit one, pearl one.

So, Victoria, what are you going to go for?

Well, this is not my strong point, and I think that ones that

I know, I imagine everybody knows,

so I'm just trying to think of lesser of two evils.

And I'm going to say R. Kelly for I Believe I Can Fly.

R. Kelly.

OK, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said R. Kelly.

It's right.

27.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Victoria.

The soundtrack to Space Jam sold over six million copies in the States.

Wow. I imagine he probably believes he can fly.

Yes. Sometimes it's just about belief.

-If you really believe you can fly, then maybe you can.

-That's nice.

Yeah. Like heart surgery.

If you really want it, if you want it enough...

If you really want...

I did Heart Surgery Idol in the States, and I just...

-I just wanted it more than anything.

-Yeah, yeah.

In that instance, it didn't really help, did it?

-Yeah, I got knocked out in the semis.

-You got knocked out?

-What about your patient?!

-Oh, yeah.

-Yeah.

-That didn't end well.

-DOA.

-Anyway.

-There it is.

But it was all done to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls,

-so it made good television.

-It was good, yeah.

OK, thank you very much. Now, Adrian. Welcome to the show.

-Good to have you here.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Adrian?

I do my own thing at the moment, but before that,

I was in the Department for the Environment and I used to edit

a little booklet called The Environment In Your Pocket.

That's like The World In Your Hands

but The Environment In Your Pocket, sounds more fun.

And what was in the book?

Lots of little interesting statistics on global warming,

air quality, water quality, all that sort of stuff.

-Did you ever use thermographic imagery?

-I'm afraid not, no.

No, we should have got it in there.

You see, well, listen, if you ever wanted to go back.

If you got bored doing your own thing and want to go back to the

pocket, I know exactly where you should go for some illustrations.

-Thermal Imaging In Your Pocket.

-It would be amazing. Yes.

-Whoa!

-That's good, that's good.

-Are you sure?

-Thermal Imaging In Your Pocket.

-Are you sure?

-You could do...

Heat loss through trousers is a serious...

LAUGHTER

-Think about it.

-Yeah, I'm thinking about it.

I'm...

I'm not sure it's appropriate.

OK, anyway, listen. Adrian, here we are. We've got to...

This board's all yours. Do you want to talk us through all the blanks?

Um, I only know one, which is probably the worst of the two evils

that was mentioned earlier, I think.

So I shall go for I Will Always Love You,

Whitney Houston.

Whitney Houston, says Adrian. Let's see if that's right.

See how many of our 100 people said Whitney Houston.

It's right.

80.

APPLAUSE

80. That gave people such a fright.

There were a couple of people in the audience who went, "Oh!"

It was like the Blair Witch Project all over again.

Anyway, 80 for Whitney Houston.

Yeah, tough answer though if you're on the fourth podium

if you've run out of answers there. Let's go through the rest of these.

-End Of The Road?

-I'd say Boyz II Men.

You'd be right, yeah. Absolutely.

Would have scored you 5. Lovefool?

-The Cardigans.

-The Cardigans, yeah.

Would have scored you 14. And You Could Be Mine?

That's the toughie.

-I don't know that one.

-It's Guns N' Roses.

Guns N' Roses, and that would have scored you 6 points.

So the best answer up there is Boyz II Men. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 9, Jez and Steve.

Very well done indeed. Lovely low score there.

Then up to 27 where we find Victoria and Jake.

46, Georgie and Mark. Then 80, Adrian and Stan.

However, Stan, you get first dibs

on the next board so find a lovely low score

and it might be enough to keep you in the game, so best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players

please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more songs up on the board and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

-Stan, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

How are you feeling now you've seen this board?

-This is a nightmare for me, I think.

-Oh, Stan, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Anyway, before we go into the nightmare, what do you do?

I'm retired civil servant, I used to be a government

statistician for about 30 years or so.

What was the best statistic

you came across as a statistician for the government?

-Or are they classified?

-I would not want to say too much about...

In which case, let's hear the juiciest one you've got, Stan.

LAUGHTER

Statistics. So what you do with your retirement?

Yeah, well, I've tried to bring my school subjects up-to-date.

I very much like science

and what I learnt at school on science,

I realise, is pretty dated.

So I've gone into a lot more technical issues

-on quantum theory and stuff like that.

-Very good.

I'm impressed, Stan.

I'm sorry that your reward for all that is this.

Yes.

OK, well, the only one I could make a stab at

is Everything I Do, I Do It For You,

Bryan Adams.

-Bryan Adams...

-But I'm not sure it's right.

-..says Stan.

Well, listen, you're the highest scorers.

You won't get a red line, but you want to see how far Bryan Adams

goes down the column with Everything I Do, I Do It For You.

How many people said it?

It's right.

62.

APPLAUSE

So, 142 is your total.

Yeah, one of the biggest selling singles of all time,

Everything I Do, I Do It For You.

The melody was actually written in the 1960s

by Michael Kamen, the composer.

He gave it to Bryan Adams many years later.

-He gave him a melody, that's nice.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-You very much, Richard.

-Pleasure.

Now, now, Jake. Listen, news.

And it's good news.

You're in the next round.

You're on 27. Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake

the high score of Stan and Adrian.

Jake, remind us what you do.

I'm in online payments.

That's right, in online payments.

Now, what actually do you particularly need to do in online?

Because online payments...

Call me a fool, kind of all take place online.

I mean, presumably, once you've set up the payment...

Yeah, it's just trying to get websites to sort of sign up to us.

-I see. It's more marketing of the online payment system.

-Yeah.

Very good. I see. OK, now, Jake, what are you going to go for?

I'm going to take a punt

and say Gangsta's Paradise,

-Coolio.

-Coolio.

Coolio, says Jake. No red line for you because you're already through,

but let's see how many people said Coolio.

It's absolutely right, Jake. That's a good punt to take.

14.

APPLAUSE

41 is your total, Jake. Very well done.

Well played, Jake. Very solid scoring, that.

17 million albums sold worldwide by Coolio.

He's also got his own cookery book, Cookin' With Coolio.

-Are both of those things true?

-Yes. Both of those things are true.

His version of spaghetti bolognese is called Bro-Ghetti.

LAUGHTER

-Bro-Ghetti.

-Yeah.

-That's good. That's nice.

-Yeah.

Steve. Steve. Now, listen. I've got good news for you as well.

-You're also through to the next round.

-Very good.

Absolutely right, lovely low score from Jez in the first pass.

-What do you do, Steve?

-I'm an operations manager

for a company that imports and sells hardware products.

And what are your hobbies, Steve?

I like sports, live music,

karaoke, ballroom dancing.

Excellent. OK. Now, Steve. You're on 9, as I say.

You're already through. There won't be a red line appearing

for you, but I think you'll probably have good couple of answers

up your sleeve there.

Yeah, there's a couple that I know.

As we're through, I'm going to have a little bit of a punt at one.

Stuck In The Middle With You,

I think might have been the Steve Miller Band.

Sounded very good to start with. Steve Miller Band.

Let's see if that's right.

No red line, as I say, because you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Steve Miller Band.

Oh!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer. Scores you the maximum

of 100 points. Takes you up to 109.

-But you're already through, so it's fine.

-Yeah, exactly.

Worth a punt. Not Steve Miller Band, I'm afraid.

He's the less successful brother of Ed and David Miliband.

LAUGHTER

-Thanks very much, Richard. Mark.

-Hi.

Now, listen. You are not through.

-No.

-I mean you have to score 95 or less to get through.

-Wow.

So, you essentially have to be right.

Anyway, let's put that to one side. Mark, remind us what you do.

Yeah, I find people work in the beauty industry

or in high-end fashion retail.

-OK, now, Mark.

-Yes.

-Your hobbies,

what do you fill your day with when you're not...

I mean, I suspect you enjoy the job as well.

Yeah, of course, completely.

But as I mentioned on the previous show, I'm engaged,

so my hobbies now consist of also being a good househusband,

sadly, so it's cooking, cleaning, ironing,

being told what to do, being told I've done it wrong.

Many times I've been told I've done it wrong.

But being told with a smile.

Being told with a smile

and, "If you don't do it right, then you don't get this."

OK, I'm not go to ask what "this" is.

LAUGHTER

-OK. Listen, you're on 46.

-Yes.

This is where the contest is going to be fought out.

142 on the far podium, 46 here on the near.

95 or less is what you have to score.

Talk us through the board, Mark,

and fill in as many of those blanks as you can.

I still know two, My Heart Will Go On is Celine Dion,

but I'm going to go for I Don't Want To Miss A Thing,

and that is going to be Aerosmith.

Aerosmith, says Mark. Here comes your red line.

It's going to be nice and high.

Get below that with Aerosmith and you are in Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Aerosmith.

It's right and you are through.

Good answer, 33.

LAUGHTER

79 is your total.

Another huge hit single that sold over a million copies

in the UK, just like Gangsta's Paradise, actually.

Let's take a look through some of the lower scorers.

Now, Stuck In The Middle With You?

-Stealers Wheel.

-Stealers Wheel, yes.

Gerry Rafferty was in that band.

-My Heart Will Go On?

-Celine Dion.

-Celine Dion.

Scored 65.

Lust For Life?

-Iggy Pop.

-Iggy Pop.

4 points for that.

And My Sharona? Do you remember that?

-I know the song.

-By The Knack.

-Oh, The Knack.

The Knack, and that would have scored you 7 points.

So Iggy Pop, actually, the best answer on that board.

Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of the first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home

with their high score of 142, Stan and Adrian.

But don't go all the way home because you'll be back for the next

show, and we look forward to that. In the meantime, thanks.

Stan and Adrian. Brilliant.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so we're down to three pairs.

Obviously, at the end of this round, we're down to two pairs,

in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, I think everyone can pat themselves on their back.

I mean, Victoria and Jake, once again, lovely low scoring there.

Steve and Jez, quite a high total in the end, but you took a massive

punt on Steve Miller Band which I'm sure you wouldn't have done

if you weren't safely through.

Mark and Georgie, well done. Through to Round Two for the first time.

Let's hope we get you to the head-to-head.

That would be fantastic. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Winter Sports.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Winter Olympics locations as they could.

Winter Olympics locations. Richard.

We are simply looking for the name of any country that has held

the Winter Olympics up to and including the 2014 Games, please.

So any country that has held a Winter Olympics.

And we're looking for the modern-day name of those countries, please.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Mark.

I'm going to go with Austria.

Austria, says Mark. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Austria.

Is right.

27.

APPLAUSE

Good score there, Mark.

Well done, Mark. Good start. Held in Innsbruck in 1964 and 1976.

OK, now, Steve.

Um...

I've moved around the world a little bit.

I think I'm going to stay

-and say Norway.

-Norway, says Steve.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Norway.

Absolutely right, of course. 27 is what Austria scored.

Norway passes that, 24.

APPLAUSE

It's another good answer. Yeah, Oslo in 1952 and Lillehammer in 1994.

Was the first time they moved the Winter Olympics

away from the Summer Olympics.

-Thanks very much. Now then, Victoria.

-Yes.

What are you going to go for?

I am not very good at Winter Olympics or Summer Olympics,

-but I'm going to guess Japan.

-Japan.

Let's see, is Japan right?

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Japan.

It is right. Well, 27 is our high score, 24, our low.

Quite a narrow window at this stage.

23. You extended it.

APPLAUSE

Japan.

Well played, Victoria, in 1972 in Sapporo, in 1998 in Nagano.

-Those are close scores, aren't they?

-Aren't they?

-How about that?

-What about that?

-Photo finish - gold, silver and bronze.

Yeah, very good. Thank you.

We're halfway through the round, so I'm going to recap those

-scores right now.

-OK, why don't you do that? That'd be amazing.

Yeah, have a listen to them because...

I'd like to know where we stand.

Do you know what? Not only am I going to give the scores out,

I'm going to give advice to the people who are the high scorers.

-That's a good idea.

-That's just in case they need it.

-OK.

-Here we go.

-I'm going to listen out for that.

23, the best score on that pass.

Victoria and Jake, looking very strong.

Then up to 24, where we find Steve and Jez.

Then we travel up to 27, where we find Mark and Georgie.

You are the high scorers at this point.

-So Mark and Georgie are the high scorers.

-Yes, that's right.

-Not by far.

-But hold on, they've got more points than everyone else.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, the high scorers get eliminated at the end of each

-round, so it's the low scorers...

-So you want to have...

-Oh, I got you. I've got you.

-We've turned it on its head, Richard.

-Victoria, actually a very good answer then.

-Yeah, exactly.

-Because she got the lowest score.

-Exactly.

But Georgie, this is what I'm going to say.

Georgie, because you're out in front there,

when it comes to your turn, we need a low score to try

and bring the average down.

When you say out in front, though, do you mean out in behind?

Well, again, we've turned it on its head, so, yeah.

Run with it, run with it. I think it's fine.

Well, I don't understand the scoring, but I'm enjoying the show.

LAUGHTER

OK, there we are. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

-This is just a bit of stage direction.

-OK, good.

-OK.

Now then, Jake, we are looking for any country

that has hosted the Winter Olympic Games.

There you are. You are on 23, the low scorers.

Remember, the high scorers get eliminated at the end of each round.

So, yes.

I'm going to say Finland.

Finland, says Jake.

You get a red line, it's very low.

But if you happened to go below that red line,

you would definitely be in the head-to-head.

How many people said Finland?

Oh, no!

Oh, Jakey.

123 is your total. That scores you 100 points.

Yeah, sorry. Never held the Winter Olympics.

Proud winter nation of course.

They held the Summer Olympics in 1952, so it's not a bad guess at all,

but, I'm afraid, a wrong answer.

Thank you. Jez.

Now, Jez, that's taken a bit of pressure off. Phew!

What are you thinking of going for? 98 or less sees you through.

Just has to be right, really, doesn't it?

In which case,

Russia.

Russia, says Jez. OK, there's your red line.

It's lovely and high. Let's see if Russia is right.

Let's see how many people said Russia.

It's right and you're through.

65 takes your total up to 89.

Sees you comfortably home and dry.

Well done, Jez. That's all you had to do.

In Sochi, of course, in 2014.

-It cost US50 billion, supposedly.

-Wow.

-Now, Georgie.

-Yes.

Once again, this is where the battlefield is.

It's between you and the last podium over there. 123 the high score.

You're on 27, 95 or less gets you through.

I know a couple that are definitely right.

I could go with a risk,

but I'm going to go with Canada.

Canada, says Georgie. There is your red line.

Canada, one would imagine would get you below that, but let's find out.

There we are. Through you go.

58.

APPLAUSE

85 is your total and you are in the head-to-head.

Yeah, Calgary and Vancouver both held it.

In fact, Russia and Canada are the two biggest answers,

but after Finland, you could both get away with it.

There's no pointless answers at all. There's only one low answer,

and that's because it was held in Yugoslavia,

but it's now Bosnia and Herzegovina. So if you said that...

Sarajevo, of course, would have been 2 points,

would have been a terrific answer. And other than that,

the best answers were Germany with 16, and Italy with 22.

And, as I say, we just heard the top two answers,

and USA was third with 40 points.

Switzerland would have scored you 32 and France would have scored

you 31. And those are all the answers out there.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair heading home

with a high score of 123, it's Jake and Victoria.

I thought you were set fair

for once again being golden couple in our head-to-head round.

It all looked absolutely straight as a die there.

And I'm afraid Finland let you down.

Anyway, this is where we have to say goodbye. Jake and Victoria,

it's been great having you on both shows but thanks for playing.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Mark and Georgie, Steve and Jez.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

Well, this is the point where we decide who gets to

play for that money. We do that by making you go head-to-head.

Obviously, now you're allowed to confer. And the first player

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

This is exciting. It's Yorkshire versus Staffordshire.

Yorkies V Staffs.

LAUGHTER

To bring it down to sort of terrier level there.

But, yeah, I think this is going to be a proper dogfight.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

University Chancellors. Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now

of people who are or who have been university chancellors.

You just need to tell us who the most obscure is, please.

OK, thanks, Richard.

Let's reveal our five university chancellors and here they are.

We've got...

There we are, five university chancellors.

Mark and Georgie, you will go first.

SHE WHISPERS

I recognise D, but I just can't remember her name.

So I think we're going to go with A for Brian May.

A, Brian May, say Mark and Georgie.

Now, Steve and Jez, the board is all yours.

Talk us through them if you can.

Well, we don't know B or D,

but we think C is Floella Benjamin

and we think E might be Bill Bryson.

So we're going to go with Bill Bryson.

You're going to say E, Bill Bryson.

So we have Brian May versus Bill Bryson.

Mark and Georgie said Brian May for A. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

75 for Brian May.

APPLAUSE

Steve and Jez have said E is Bill Bryson.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Bill Bryson.

Well done. Wins you the point.

And how! Look at that. 18.

APPLAUSE

Good job, Steve and Jez. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, Bill Bryson was a chancellor at Durham

and Brian May, at Liverpool John Moores.

B, is Professor Tanya Byron,

Edge Hill University.

1 point for that, terrific answer.

You were right about C,

the Chancellor of Exeter University,

Floella Benjamin.

Would have scored you 40.

I just remembered who D is.

-Zandra Rhodes.

-Zandra Rhodes is absolutely right.

Would have scored you 26 points.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Mark and Georgie, you have to win this one to stay in the game,

so best of luck. It concerns...

Hampton Court Palace. Richard.

Going to show you five clues now

relating to facts about Hampton Court Palace.

Can you give us the best answer up there?

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Steve and Jez, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

I perhaps ought to know some of these,

but unfortunately, I only know

that it was built next to the Thames.

OK, the Thames, say Steve and Jez.

The Thames. Now, Mark and Georgie.

Do you fancy talking us through the board and having some thoughts?

I know two of them for sure.

Jane Seymour gave birth to a son at the Palace

and she died not long afterwards.

The king held prisoner in the palace was Charles I.

I'm probably going to go for the king who was held

prisoner in the palace in 1647

-as King Charles I.

-Charles I.

So we have the Thames and we have Charles I.

Steve and Jez went with the Thames, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

69 for the Thames.

Mark and Georgie have gone for Charles I,

the monarch held there in 1647.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right. Clue's in the date,

and it wins you the point.

Very well done.

17.

APPLAUSE

Excellent performance there, Mark and Georgie.

That brings you back into the game, back into contention.

-After two questions, it's one all.

-Yeah, well played, Mark.

Actually, your other answer would've been slightly better even

because Jane Seymour would've scored you 14 points.

The decade it was opened was the 1830s.

And that's a pointless answer, so very well done if you got that.

That's a real toughie. And the last monarch to reside there.

-Can I guess?

-Yes, you can.

I thought it might have been Henry VIII himself.

It wasn't, it was George II.

George II, also the last monarch to fight in battle. 1 point for that.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, so here comes your third question.

This is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Bronte Novels. Richard.

We're going to show you now five novels by one of the Bronte sisters.

We're just going to show you

the number of letters in each word in those titles.

Can you decipher which novels we are looking for, please?

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

Mark and Georgie will go first.

THEY WHISPER

I think we're going to go with

Jane Eyre for the 4,4.

Jane Eyre, say Mark and Georgie.

Jane Eyre. Now, Steve and Jez...

We haven't got a clue.

Can't even think of words that actually fit those numbers

if I'm honest at the moment!

The...

LAUGHTER

The...Invincibles.

-The Invincibles.

-Yeah, that's a good one.

It was a good film.

-It was Incredibles.

-Oh, The Incredibles.

LAUGHTER

-Was it The Incredibles?

-Yeah.

I cannot think of one Bronte novel.

OK, what do you want to do?

We'll go with The Incredibles.

The Incredibles, OK.

THEY LAUGH

The Incredibles. So we have Jane Eyre versus The Incredibles.

Mark and Georgie said Jane Eyre. Let's see if it's right

and how many people said that.

It's right, which at this stage, might be the key thing.

40.

APPLAUSE

Meanwhile, Steve and Jez have gone for The Incredibles.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see if that's right.

Oh.

Very well done. Mark and Georgie,

after three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

Yeah, I would watch Jane Eyre versus The Incredibles though.

That'd be a brilliant film.

The Incredibles is 11 letters. The Credibles would have fitted.

But it's not that, it's actually a Charlotte Bronte novel.

It was the first one she wrote. It was published posthumously.

It was initially rejected. It was The Professor.

A terrific answer as well. 5 points. So well done if you said that.

I think, guys, you knew the second one.

-Wuthering Heights.

-It is Wuthering Heights, yeah.

Slightly bigger score, 42 for that.

You knew that, gents, didn't you?

And 3,6,2,8,4. Do you know that one?

Anne Bronte novel.

-The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall.

-Yeah.

That would have scored 9.

And another Charlotte Bronte novel at the bottom there,

-Shirley.

-Shirley, yes, I should have known that one.

And that's 7. So The Professor is the best answer up there.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm sorry to say, Steve and Jez. Well, it was all going so well.

Bill Bryson saw you sailing in there.

Anyway, the good news is we get to see you again.

Otherwise, it would've been your only appearance on Pointless.

And we look forward to that very much indeed. Steve and Jez.

Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for Mark and Georgie, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Mark and Georgie.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, last time, Round One, you were gone, that was it.

Although, saying that, we had a little glimpse.

-We had Audrey Callaghan from Mark.

-Yeah, 1.

Yeah, lowest score, I think of the whole show pretty much

with the exception, obviously, of the jackpot round.

But some really good answers the whole way through the show.

As always, you get to choose your category from the four

we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something on that board that appeals to you.

Here are the four.

-I know what I would go for.

-You'd go for World Politics.

I'd go for World Politics, no problem.

-Chick-Lit, no. Glam Rock, no.

-Glam Rock, no.

I don't think my hair is pink enough.

SHE LAUGHS

I think we're going to go with World Politics.

Yeah, we'll go for World Politics. I'm going to eat my words, aren't I?

-World Politics it is.

-OK, very best of luck.

Three very different categories here. Hopefully one of these suits you.

We're looking for any secretary-general

of the United Nations who was born outside Europe.

We are looking for any UK prime minister who's become

prime minister that wasn't in the immediate consequence of an election.

They could have been elected afterwards or beforehand, but if at

any point they've become prime minister

without an election happening, they are an acceptable answer.

Or we're looking for any US president whose surname has one syllable.

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three

answers. And all you need to win that jackpot of £1,000 is for just

one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-OK.

-Take it away.

THEY LAUGH

OK, unelected UK prime ministers, the only thing I can think of

is Gordon Brown, which is too popular.

Non-European secretary-general, Kofi Annan and Ban Ki Moon.

There was Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

One syllable presidents, I can think of Ulysses S Grant

and I think it's James Polk.

-So...

-Which three do you think?

Yeah, can I...

Um... Yeah, can you stop the clock?

OK, we're going to stop the clock.

What about that? Whoa!

OK, look at that. What are your three answers going to be?

OK, for non-European UN secretaries-general,

I'm going to go for Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

-Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

-Boutros Boutros-Ghali, yes.

One-syllable president's surname,

I'm going to go for Ulysses S Grant.

-Ulysses S Grant.

-Yes, thank you for pronouncing his first name.

And I think it's James Polk, P-O-L-K.

-James Polk.

-Polk. Yeah.

OK, now, of those three, which is your best shot

for the pointless answer?

I'm going to go for President Grant.

-OK.

-ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

President Grant. Ulysses S Grant, we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

James Polk because I don't even know if it's right,

it just sounded right in my head.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We have got...

-Well, best of luck.

-Thank you.

Your first answer was James Polk.

Now, this is the one that you thought was probably least likely

to be pointless.

Yeah, I don't know if there was a Polk, it just sounded right.

Well, only one of them has to be pointless

-for you to win that jackpot.

-Yeah, OK.

And if you were to win that jackpot of £1,000,

what would you do with it? Georgie?

Well, we'll be splitting it evenly.

With £500, I'd really love to travel as well, so I'd probably go to

Venice because it's at the top of my hit list, to be honest.

Everything else is a little bit further afield,

-so I think I'd tick off Venice first.

-Venice, OK. Mark?

Probably not as exciting. I'd put it towards my wedding next year.

-Surely.

-Yeah, it's going to have to.

So it's either going to be a case of matching suits or a band

or a DJ or, you know, if I get my own way, a fireworks display.

-But, you know, it's 50-50 at a wedding, sadly.

-OK.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-You'll find it's all the way

through, that's pretty much the rule.

-I can imagine that's the rest of married life.

-Yeah, that's it.

Anyway, two excellent things to be putting it towards.

-Thank you.

-Best of luck.

Let's hope at least one of these answers is right and pointless.

Your first answer, James Polk. Let's find out, for £1,000,

if it's right. Let's find out if it's pointless.

He's right. James Polk, wherever it came from,

was a correct answer.

Polk now taking us down through the 20s,

through the teens,

into single figures.

Down it goes, still going down

you've done it! I knew you would!

Very well done indeed. Superb.

Absolutely fantastic.

-Very well done.

-Thank you.

-Superb.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Congratulations, James Polk was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £1,000. Superb.

-That was a punt.

-Wow.

-It was a good punt.

-It was a very good punt.

You've had some terrific answers on both shows, actually, Mark.

And you've excelled yourself there. Very well played.

Not only a pointless answer, you also had the opportunity

-to say Boutros Boutros-Ghali on telly.

-Yeah.

That doesn't go on TV much.

You should never pass up the opportunity to say that.

Actually, the Boutros Boutros-Ghali would have scored you 7 points

and Ulysses S Grant would have scored you 5 points, so James Polk

was very much your strongest answer, so very well played.

In fact, there's only one pointless answer

for the secretaries-general, so tough category to go for, that one.

But if you had said Javier Perez De Cuellar, that's a pointless answer.

Very well done if you had said that. Kofi Annan, the biggest scorer there.

Let's take a look at some of these prime ministers.

There's quite a few of them.

Anthony Eden, who took over after Churchill resigned.

He was immediately elected afterwards,

but he did take over very briefly.

Macmillan then took over from Eden.

You could have had Henry Campbell-Bannerman who took over

from Balfour. Balfour was also a pointless answer.

Then Asquith succeeded Campbell-Bannerman.

He was also a pointless answer. Ramsay MacDonald.

Two other pointless answers, David Lloyd George and Andrew Bonar Law.

Well done if you said any of those.

And there's only three of these presidents.

Rutherford B Hayes, Franklin Pierce and James Polk.

So very well done if you got one of those.

Thanks very much indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Mark and Georgie,

who go home with today's jackpot of £1,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.