Episode 3 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hi,

I'm Angie, this is my friend Lisa. We live in Bedfordshire.

Couple number two.

I'm Ian. This is my wife, Lucy. And we're from Guildford.

Couple number three.

I'm Muteen and this is my mate, Daniel. We come from Birmingham.

And, finally, couple number four.

I'm Sarah. This is my friend Patrick.

I'm from Milton Keynes and he's from Sutton Coldfield.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's big, well read,

# His feet stick out of bed

# My Pointless friend

# My Pointless friend. # It's Richard!

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

APPLAUSE

Aw, how lovely to start with a song.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

-Excellent.

We've got three returning pairs today.

All did rather differently last time.

We got Lisa and Angie on podium one,

all the way to the head-to-head,

were very unlucky to get knocked out there.

On the last podium there, we have Patrick and Sarah,

also did very well, got knocked out on a music question.

Patrick was gutted about that.

Then on podium two, we've got Ian and Lucy, and I'm slightly worried.

I was talking to them beforehand -

they got knocked out on a history question.

That's Lucy's favourite subject.

And Ian slightly disappointed her.

And Lucy's telling me she's rather upset about it.

She said if he disappoints her again today,

she's going to divorce him, is what she said.

I mean, I don't know if that's an idle threat.

I don't know enough about your relationship.

I'm just passing on what I heard.

-And we've only got one new pair with us, Dan and Muteen.

-I know!

-So we must try and make them feel very welcome.

-Yes, we must.

-The rest of us are all right, we're old friends.

-Yeah.

-We're like a gang.

It's like we've been on holiday together for months.

-And now the new guys are in here. That's nice.

-That's nice.

They seem nice, don't they? But you can never tell, can you?

-Muteen's got a Hawaiian shirt on.

-He has, hasn't he?

-So at least you are entering into the spirit of the thing.

-Yeah, I know.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Sue and Sophie didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at a princely £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

I'm sure you don't need to be reminded,

but just for fun, I'm going to remind you.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated.

That's it, that's the rules.

Just do everything you can to make sure you're not that pair.

Our first category today is...

Cinema.

Can you decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Film Stars And Their Musicals. Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you seven actors.

We need the name of the musical they starred in

in the year we're going to show you as well.

So there's going to be 14 musicals in all to have a go at.

See how well you do at home as well.

OK, so we're looking for the titles of the film musicals

that these stars appeared in,

and here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Lisa.

-Our lowest scorers into the head-to-head last time.

-Yes.

-And 2-0, you were booted out.

-Mm.

-Yeah, or was it tactics?

-Um.

-Was it tactics?

We're you going to go,

wait for the jackpot to go up by another grand

and come back and win it?

No, no, it was the better team, they were good.

-OK.

-Yeah.

OK, now, tell us about yourself, Lisa.

Um, so, I work with Angie.

We do role-playing as actors.

We go into various organisations

for assessments and recruitments and training.

Do you then give them...

Do you mark them out of ten at the end of their role-playing?

-We're allowed to give feedback...as to how they made us feel.

-Right.

But there are always cameras or assessors that do the real marking.

-Ah, I see.

-Yeah.

-Oh, I see, OK.

Well, listen, here we are.

We have all these stars

of movie musicals.

What are you going to go for?

OK, there's quite a few that I know,

thankfully.

Um, it's just..

which one to go for.

So...

I think I'm going to go for...

I'm going to go Susan Sarandon

and The Rocky Horror Show.

The Rocky Horror Show, says Lisa, for Susan Sarandon.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Oh!

Oh, Lisa.

I'm afraid, an incorrect answer. Scores you the maximum

of 100 points.

-Sorry.

-Sorry, Lisa.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

-OK, now, Lucy, welcome back.

-Thank you.

We had a moment of brilliance from you in the last show.

-Your one and only answer.

-Yes.

-Scored only 4...

-I know.

-..it was brilliant.

-Sadly, not enough to keep you...

-Sadly, yeah.

-..in gameplay.

Um, you didn't really mean that about Ian, really?

-If he comes up with one more 100 score...

-Well...

-..and that's it?

We'll see.

-The answer he comes up with in a minute.

-We'll see...

So, I mean, what's...? History, obviously your thing.

What are going to be Ian's areas?

-Sport.

-Sport.

Probably not musicals.

OK. Are musicals good for you?

-Yeah, they're OK, yeah.

-OK, very good.

What are you going to go for?

There's a few that I know,

but I think...hmm,

I think going to go with

Ewan McGregor and Moulin Rouge.

Moulin Rouge, says Lucy.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Moulin Rouge.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

36 for Moulin Rouge.

Well done, Lucy. Absolutely done your bit again.

No pressure, Ian.

Er, yeah, he starred alongside Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Dan, welcome to the show,

good to have you here from Birmingham.

What you do, Dan?

I work at a car factory in Birmingham.

And what are your hobbies?

During my spare time, I like to watch sports, play sports,

and I also am a volunteer police constable.

Are you? For Warwickshire?

-How long have you done that for?

-Coming up to two years now.

Are you enjoying it?

I love it, and I'm hopefully going to join a regulars when I can.

You have to serve your apprenticeship for a bit or...?

It's more a matter of just waiting for police forces

to open up the applications for regular officers.

OK, good stuff.

So, Dan, what are you going to go for

on this board?

Um, well, there's one

that I'm very sure about.

The others I'm not so sure about,

so I'm going to stick with

the one that I'm pretty sure with,

and go for Pierce Brosnan,

Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia!, says Dan.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mamma Mia!

It's right.

Well, 36 was our low correct...

answer.

49 is our

high correct answer.

Not bad.

Yeah, well played, Dan. Good start.

He doesn't sing brilliantly in that film, actually,

-it's a rather good performance.

-Yeah, you're right, not a...

You know what I mean, he didn't hit all the notes,

but he's very believable and very charming in it.

Yeah.

-As he is in...in pretty much everything.

-He is.

I saw him the other day, he was disparaging his own efforts as Bond.

-He said he wasn't a very good Bond.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

-I think that's a shame.

-Yeah, he's a good Bond.

-Yeah.

-HIGH-PITCHED: 'He was a good Bond.

-He was a good Bond.

-'He was a good Bond.

-He was a good Bond.'

-LAUGHTER

-Now, Sarah.

Sarah, welcome back.

So, we discovered last time that

-you run the marketing for the MK Dons.

-Yes.

And your interests outside football?

I guess it's quite nice, your job is kind of your hobby as well.

Yeah, I'm lucky, that's always what I've wanted to do anyway,

so... But, you know, outside of that, I like to keep fit in general.

I like reading as well.

-And writing, I enjoy writing as well.

-OK.

Sarah, you're the last person to have this board.

Do you want to fill in all those blanks?

Not going to lie to you,

I don't think I've ever watched a musical in my life.

So, um, this is going to be

a very difficult board for me,

and the only two answers

I probably could've guessed at have gone.

So, um...

I'm going to take

a complete stab in the dark

and say John Belushi, Almost Famous.

Almost Famous, says Sarah, for John Belushi.

Let's see if that's...let's see if that's right, shall we say?

Oh.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, Sarah.

Scores you 100 points.

Yeah, not Almost Famous, I'm afraid, Sarah.

It's a film you'll know, the John Belushi one.

It's Blues Brothers.

Would've scored you 25 points.

And, Lisa, you're very, very unlucky.

The Rocky Horror Show is the stage musical,

and the film, that Susan Sarandon is in,

is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I'm afraid.

Would've scored you 10 points.

Would've been a very, very good answer.

Down the bottom there,

I suspect lots of people would've gone for Christopher Plummer.

-Of course he was in...

-Sound Of Music.

-..The Sound Of Music.

Would've scored you 28.

Do you know the Matthew Broderick one?

He was in the remake of The Producers.

-Played Leo Bloom in that.

-Ah, yeah.

Would've scored you 9.

The best answer on the board is John Gielgud,

who was in Lost Horizon.

Very well done if you said that, 2 points.

Thank you. Well, we're halfway through the round,

let's look at those scores. 36, the best of that pass.

Very well done indeed, Lucy.

Up to 49, where we find Dan and Muteen.

Then up to 100, where we find Sarah, Patrick, Lisa and Angie.

So, Patrick and Angie, it's going

to be a musical-off between the pair of you.

One of you, I think, will be leaving at the end of the round.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more stars on the board, and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

Patrick.

-OK...

-Joint high scorers.

Musicals, is this good for you?

Um...it's OK.

I...I used to do drama in school, so I should be better.

-Did you do any musicals, Patrick?

-Er, I did a few, yeah.

-But none of...?

-None of these ones.

None of the ones that these people might have been in the films of?

-Um, tells more about yourself, Patrick.

-Um...

It's my birthday today.

-Get out of it.

-No way.

-Yeah.

Have you had a cake?

Yeah, someone did make a cake actually.

-Aw.

-Yeah, so...

-Very nice.

-Not too shabby.

-Good.

Good, well, listen, a present to yourself, maybe.

A nice low score.

Yeah, I don't think

it'll be that low,

but I'm going to go with

Helena Bonham Carter

and Sweeney Todd.

Sweeney Todd, says Patrick. Let's see that's right.

No red line for you as you're joint high scorers.

Let's see how many people said Sweeney Todd.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-Don't think that's great.

Not bad at all.

36, 136, your total.

Well played, Patrick.

It might've kept you in it, you never know.

Yeah, starring alongside Johnny Depp, of course.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Muteen, welcome to the show.

Great to have you here. What do you do?

I'm a section leader at a clothing store.

And which section is it that you look after?

Me, I look after all of them.

-All the sections?

-All of it, yes.

-Every section of that clothing store...

-The warehouse...

-..answers to you, Muteen.

-Yes.

That's a responsibility.

And this is the thing chose to bring with you?

I did, I thought I'd promote it, yes.

LAUGHTER

But why not be adventurous?

-Exactly right, Muteen, I think that's a top shirt that.

-Thank you.

I mean, it's a top shirt as opposed to an undershirt.

LAUGHTER

You're good.

What you do in your spare time, Muteen?

In my spare time, I do astronomy, I do archery and I play the guitar.

Astronomy? Well, that's great,

-all the clubs at the top of the top of the alphabet there.

-Oh, yes.

-Astronomy and...

-Archery.

How good are you at archery?

I'm getting better.

I can shoot at 50 metres now and hit the target...

See... Do have quite one of those really sophisticated bows?

I'm working my way up there slowly.

Yeah, cos there's... I watched someone doing it,

and they have this huge thing that comes off the bow,

what's that for?

Oh, it's to hold it in place and to balance it out as well,

so you don't fall backwards.

Does that happen a lot?

It can do if you're pushing a lot, pulling a lot back.

Be quite funny!

I mean, unless you then let go of the thing up in the air,

that wouldn't be very funny at all, of course.

Now, listen, you're on 49.

The highest scorers on 136 are Patrick and Sarah.

86 or less is what you have to score.

Musicals?

I'm not I'm not good with musicals

to be honest with you,

but I do know the two...

two of them on the board.

I'm going to go with, probably...

what I think will be

the least pointless one out of the two,

with Gerard Butler and Phantom Of The Opera.

Phantom Of The Opera, says Muteen.

Phantom Of The Opera.

If you get below that red line, you're in Round Two.

Let's see if Phantom Of The Opera's right. How many people said it?

-It's right.

-Oh!

And you're through, very well done indeed, Muteen.

-Oh!

-Well done.

11,

only the best score of the round so far, Muteen.

60 is your total, well done.

Terrific answer, Muteen. Well played.

The only new pair on today's show, and sailing through to Round Two.

Thanks, Richard. Now, Ian.

Now, Ian, come on. This is your moment.

This is your perfect moment.

Shall I take this off now?

No, I've got good news.

Unless you score 100, which isn't going to happen...(!)

LAUGHTER

I think you're...you're safe, I think you're safe.

99 are less gets you through.

Now, Ian, how long have you been married to Lucy?

Er, just over two years.

Has it been a good two years, Ian?

The best of my life.

-Aw!

-He's sucking up now.

-You hear the man? Yeah, exactly.

How did you meet?

Er, Lu used to work in a cafe

that my best friend was the manager of

and I used to go up there and get my free lunch and free coffee

and she used to serve me.

Aw.

-And she still does today.

-Very nice.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, he's pushing his luck a bit now, I think.

-Be nice.

-Yeah.

Anyway, now, Ian, here we go.

Moment of truth. Look at that board.

How are you feeling?

-Pretty bad.

-Really?

-Pretty bad.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Re... Yes. Yeah, it is quite tough, isn't it?

That is quite a tough board.

I'm hoping something jumps out at me, and it's just not.

So I'm going to go Albert Finney - Oliver.

OK. Um, Albert Finney - Oliver. There's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

Ooh, I'm afraid not, Ian.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 136.

Yeah, sorry, Ian. Not all over yet, though.

Still one podium to go, so you never know your luck.

You never do. Angie...

-you have a job to do here.

-I do, yes.

ALEXANDER EXHALES, SHE EXHALES

OK.

-ALEXANDER EXHALES

-I tell you what, if you score...

As if you needed any further incentive, if you score 35 or

less, not only do you go through to the next round, we go into lockdown.

-Ooh!

-We like lockdown.

-Oh, we love lockdown.

-Lockdown.

It's very exciting, lockdown.

We'll tell you all about it when we get there.

-How exciting.

-So, yes, Angie, how do you feel about musicals?

-Um, good about musicals in general.

-Good.

In fact, the answer that I'm going to give is quite dear to my heart.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for Albert Finney and Scrooge.

Albert Finney...

and Scrooge. 1982.

There is your red line.

If you get below that red line with Scrooge, you're in Round Two.

Let's see if Albert Finney is right for Scrooge though.

Wrong year! Wrong year!

Ooh, Angie, I'm sorry.

Wrong year, as you've said. That scores you 100 points, takes

your total up to 200.

-Sorry.

-(No, it's all right.)

Yeah, sorry, Angie, that was 1970, Scrooge, I'm afraid.

So we avoid lockdown.

Ian avoids a divorce.

-Yeah.

-Some good has come of this tragedy.

Um...

The film is actually... And it's not Oliver, it's not Scrooge.

-It's Annie.

-It's Annie.

Would have scored you 7 points as well.

-Catherine Zeta-Jones was in Chicago.

-Chicago.

Quite a big scorer though, 41 points.

-Clint Eastwood...

-Paint Your Wagon.

-Paint Your Wagon.

Would have scored 13 points. Tom Cruise...

Rock Of Ages.

..Rock Of Ages with Alec Baldwin, and that's 23 points.

-And Edward Norton?

-I don't know.

-He's in the Woody Allen film Everyone Says I Love You.

-Oh.

3 points. That's the best answer there by a mile.

Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home,

they were our low scorers last show.

It just goes to show what a topsy-turvy world this Pointless is.

-Yes.

-But I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you in Round One.

Maybe it was podium one that did it for you.

Absolutely, yes.

The curse of podium one goes on.

Yeah - Annie. Would you have got that?

-If I'd thought, yes.

-Looked at the year.

-Well, yes.

I just got Scrooge in my head and I just didn't...

Yeah, always hard to do. Well, we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been lovely having you.

Thank you so much for playing. Angie and Lisa.

-BOTH:

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we have to say goodbye to another.

Well, Patrick and Sarah, Ian and Lucy, you were tied.

That's how close this round is going to be.

You were tied on 136. Dan and Muteen dancing through... Our musical boys

there in the middle.

Dancing through the low scores there in that. Very well done.

Ian, you're in a personal 200 Club of your own,

that's all I'm saying.

You always... You've shown you've still got your ring on.

OK.

Well, best of luck, all three pairs, especially Ian.

Our category for Round Two today is...

..Vexillology!

-LAUGHTER

-It's Vexillology.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many flags with

crosses on them as they could.

Flags with crosses on them. Richard.

Vexillology, of course, being the study of flags.

Yeah, we're looking for any country whose flag has

a cross as an integral part of its flag - either upright or diagonal.

Essentially so long as it's not on a coat of arms for a crest,

then we allow it.

But just a country with a cross as an integral part of its flag.

As always, by country,

we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

OK. Thank you very much indeed.

-Lucy.

-Yes.

This isn't a great subject,

but I have a feeling it's going to be all on me again, so...

ALL LAUGH

I don't know what she's talking about either, Ian.

You said sometimes that the people's sympathy shift in a relationship.

So I'm not going to go... I'm going to go with Denmark.

-Denmark...

-Yes.

-..says Lucy. Denmark.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Denmark.

It's right.

28.

Well played, Lucy.

Yeah, it's got a big white off-centre cross the middle of it.

-It fell from heaven in 1219, the Danish flag.

-Did it?

Yeah, during a battle.

Really?

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-Wow.

I mean, you may say it's folklore,

I say I believe, having researched into it, that's what happened.

As far as I can understand...

I like the off-centre thing.

It's quite...it's very, you know, it's very...it's very cool.

-It is cool, isn't it?

-It's a bit sort of whey!

-Yeah.

-Off-centre.

-Yeah.

You know, we're Danish, we don't...

..we don't...

go by your rules, we'll just...

-cross it up.

-Do you know where's got a cool flag, a very underrated flag?

Oh, let's hope it hasn't got a cross on it.

-No, we're not allowing the UK in this round.

-OK.

-The Union flag is a pretty good flag.

-It's a great flag.

If that was another country, you'd look at it,

-you'd go, ha-ha, look at that!

-Cor, wow!

-Wow!

-Yeah, yeah.

-But we're just, we're very used to it.

-Yeah, it's true.

-But I don't think we give it enough kudos.

-No, we don't.

No, we don't. Thank you very much.

-Now, Muteen.

-Hello.

Muteen. Flags.

How are we feeling about flags?

Oh, I can only think of European countries with flags.

There's some other risky ones.

I don't want to risk 100 points,

cos I'd rather get some points than no points,

-than 100 points, sorry.

-MUTEEN LAUGHS

OK, my head's about to explode, but, yes, go on.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

I'm going to go for Iceland.

Iceland, says Muteen.

Iceland.

OK, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's absolutely right.

Look at that, 9 for Iceland.

There we go, Muteen.

Nine. Very good indeed.

That's a very good answer again, Muteen.

-Dan and Muteen are fitting right in.

-They're good.

-It's good again.

It's got an off-centred red cross with white piping.

Off-centre again.

What's going on?

-They love it, don't they?

-They do.

Yeah...

-I bet there are others too.

-LAUGHTER

We'll find out.

Patrick. Flags.

I'm a little bit petrified now, cos...

the last time I was on, I took a risk and it was awful.

But I'm so tempted to take a risk again.

-That's OK, lightning won't strike twice, will it?

-Ah...

-No, I am going to take a risk.

-Go on.

I'm going to...

I'm going to go Georgia.

-Georgia.

-Yeah.

OK, Georgia.

Muteen is nodding, by the way. He hasn't put a step wrong...

Well, if we got a nod from the spicy shirt, then hopefully it's right.

OK, Georgia, says Patrick.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Georgia.

It's right.

See, there we go, Patrick.

There's a risk worth taking.

APPLAUSE

Lowest score so far, Patrick.

Good work. Georgia.

That's a terrific answer, Patrick, very well played.

Yeah, it's got five red crosses on it.

It's got a red cross in the middle and then one in each quarter.

That's a lot of crosses, isn't it?

-It is. That's a lot of red crosses.

-Yeah, yeah.

OK, thank you very much.

Halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

4, the best score of the pass. Well done, Patrick.

Up to 9, where we find Muteen and Dan.

Up to 28, Lucy and Ian.

Ian, it's all in your hands.

-LAUGHTER

-The word is phew.

Best of luck.

We need a lovely low score from you, Ian,

and I'm sure that will keep you in the game

and see you into the head-to-head.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

So, Sarah, remember, we're looking for the name of any country

that has a cross on its flag.

OK, I think I'm going to take a risk as well

and go... I'm really sorry if this is wrong on your birthday.

I'm going to go with Jamaica.

Jamaica, says Sarah.

Jamaica.

You want to score 23 or less.

Get below that with Jamaica, you're in the head-to-head.

Is it right, how many people said it if it is?

It's right.

Very well done.

You are in the head-to-head.

Second lowest score of the round.

11 is your total.

Yeah, a yellow diagonal cross.

That's a terrific answer, Sarah, well done.

So, when Patrick goes home,

he can say Sarah gave a great answer in the flags round,

and they say, "Jamaica?"

He can say, "No, I think she thought of it all by herself."

-LAUGHTER

-That is good.

Um, now, Dan.

-Dan.

-Yes.

You're on 9.

The highest scorers currently Ian and Lucy on 28.

18 or less means you won't be the new high scorers.

I've got a few ideas.

Some European, some Caribbean.

Um...

I think...

..I'm going to stay in Europe, hope it's a low answer.

I'm going to go for Latvia.

Latvia, says Dan. Latvia.

If you get below that with Latvia, you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many people said Latvia.

Oh, Dan.

Oh, Dan, bad luck.

I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 109.

-Ian, hee-hee-hee-hee!

-LAUGHTER

I think a bit of Ian was thinking, "Er, I hope I've got no chance here."

Oh, yeah.

The Latvian flag, it's sort of a reddy-purpley colour,

both top and bottom,

and then a white bit down the middle, I'm afraid.

Sorry, Dan.

Um, however, Ian, it's all in your hands.

-Yep.

-You have to score 80 or less.

IAN LAUGHS

Er, I've got a couple flashing through my head.

I think, I think...

I think they're good.

I'm going to go with...

..Sweden.

Sweden, says Ian.

There's your red line.

Get below that with Sweden, you're in the head-to-head.

-Your marriage stays intact.

-LAUGHTER

Let's find out, Sweden, is it right, how many people said it?

It's right, very well done indeed.

Look at that, you're in the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

73, your total, well done.

Very well played, Ian.

This is like a Hollywood movie about redemption, isn't it?

It's lovely.

Scandinavia was the place to go there,

cos Norway would've been a good answer as well - 31.

-I was going to go...

-Finland as well, for 22,

would've been a very good answer.

Now, there's a few pointless answers here.

Let's take a look at them.

Could've said Dominica,

you could've said Dominican Republic

or you could've said Fiji.

All of those would've been very good answers.

I'll tell you a few of the lower scorers.

Burundi would've scored you 1.

An old Pointless favourite, Tuvalu, would've scored you 1.

Tonga would've scored you 1.

And then Georgia, actually, the next best answer.

And after that, Jamaica is the best answer after that,

so terrific stuff on the last podium there.

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round,

the pair heading home with their high score of 109,

I'm afraid, Dan and Muteen.

Lovely low scoring from you, Muteen.

Dan, well done you taking a risk, though.

I mean, that's what...we like that, we like risk-taking.

But I'm afraid it cost you dear on this occasion.

However, next time, I'm sure you'll have better luck

and maybe you'll go even further than Round Two.

But thanks very much for playing, Dan and Muteen.

APPLAUSE

But for Patrick and Sarah and Ian and Lucy

it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations Patrick and Sarah, Ian and Lucy,

you're now one step closer to the final

with a chance to play for the jackpot

which currently stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Well, I think this is going to be very exciting,

because, you know, individually, there's been some highs and lows.

You know, Patrick and Sarah, you've had Almost Famous.

Ian and Lucy, you've had...

-Ian.

-LAUGHTER

But...

you've also had moments of brilliance.

I think when you put your heads together,

I think this'll be a very well-matched pair of pairs,

if that makes sense. Very exciting indeed.

Anyway, best of luck to both of you.

-Let's play the head-to-head.

-APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question,

and it concerns...

Champions League Final Goal-scorers. Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures

of people who've scored in the Champions League final.

Can you identify them, please?

OK, let's reveal our five goal-scorers,

and here they come.

We've got...

There we are.

Five Champions League final goal-scorers.

Patrick and Sarah, you've been our low scorers throughout the show

so you will go first.

(It's got to be either A or B if you know he's Patrick Kluivert.)

(I don't know who C is.)

I think we're going to go with B and say Patrick Kluivert.

Patrick Kluivert. OK, Patrick Kluivert.

Ian and Lucy, the board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

Well, we don't know who A is.

C is Zinedine Zidane,

D is Frank Lampard

and E is Cristiano Ronaldo.

Um, Zinedine Zidane, I think is probably it.

Yeah, we'll go with C, Zinedine Zidane.

"Zinedine Zidane," say Ian and Lucy.

So, we have Patrick Kluivert and we have Zizou.

Patrick and Sarah said Kluivert. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Good answer!

8 for Patrick Kluivert. Very well done.

You took a bit of a punt there by the sound of things.

That one seems to have paid off.

Ian and Lucy have gone for Zinedine Zidane for C.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Very well done indeed.

21, Zinedine Zidane. Good answer.

Not good enough to beat Patrick Kluivert, though.

Patrick and Sarah, well done.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

Well played, both teams.

I think both teams knew Patrick Kluivert

and both know that A is the best answer on the board,

but it's a real tough one.

Award yourself a badge at home if you knew it

cos it's a pointless answer.

He scored for Porto when they beat Monaco,

and it's Dmitri Alenichev.

Terrific answer if you got that.

If you really did get it, well done.

D is Frank Lampard.

That would have scored you 47 points.

And he actually gets beaten by Cristiano Ronaldo.

Ronaldo scores...

..56.

Looking more like the other Ronaldo there

than in any other picture I've ever seen of him.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

Ian and Lucy, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game. It concerns...

Here, we're going to show you the names of five acts now

who have had UK top 10 singles

with a song that has "stand" in its title

either as its own word or part of a longer word.

Just need you to tell us the name of the songs they had a hit with.

OK, let's reveal our five acts, and here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Ian and Lucy, it's over to you.

-Go with The Pretenders?

-Yeah, OK.

-Stand By...

-What was The Pretenders song?

-Stand By Me, wasn't it?

-No.

-No?

-Go with Elton John?

-Yeah, OK.

OK, we're going to have to go with Elton John, I'm Still Standing.

"I'm Still Standing," say Ian and Lucy.

I'm Still Standing.

Now, Patrick and Sarah,

do you want to talk us through the board to see what you've got?

We think The Libertines is Can't Stand Me Now.

Don't know The Pretenders one.

-Tammy Wynette, I think, is Stand By Your Man.

-Yeah.

We think we're going to go for The Gossip.

Standing In The Way Of Control.

The Gossip, Standing In The Way Of Control.

OK, so, Ian and Lucy have gone for I'm Still Standing.

Let's see if that's right. If so, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

38.

Patrick and Sarah have gone for Standing In The Way Of Control.

Let's see if that's right, and if so,

let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Very well done. You've done it.

8!

Your second 8 in the head-to-head round.

Your second lowest-scoring answer,

which means, Patrick and Sarah, after only two questions,

you're straight through to the final 2-0.

-Very well done.

-Very strong performance.

You knew the best answer on the board as well -

The Libertines, Can't Stand Me Now.

That would have scored you 5 points. Terrific answer.

Well done if you said that at home. The Pretenders was I'll Stand By You.

Girls Aloud had a hit with that as well.

A cover version. 16 points for that.

And Tammy Wynette, voted the greatest country song of all time

by Country Music Television - Stand By Your Man.

And that would have scored 64.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, Ian and Lucy, it's you.

And nothing wrong with either of your answers.

Just you were up against Patrick and Sarah,

who suddenly came into their own there.

Yeah, lovely, low scoring.

-Ian and Lucy, it's been lovely to have you on the show.

-Thank you.

I hope the marriage is still intact, all fine.

It's been great having you. Thank you. Ian and Lucy!

But for Patrick and Sarah, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Patrick and Sarah.

You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,000.

Well, here you are in the final. Two-nil in the head-to-head.

There's no arguing with that. Very conclusive indeed.

Patrick Kluivert - great answer, first question there.

And actually, while we're at it, Standing In The Way Of...

-What's it called?

-Standing In The Way Of Control.

It's a really good song.

-I'm going to go and look it up.

-Yeah.

-But well done. Very good.

-And fitting, Patrick. It's your birthday.

-Yeah.

It's your birthday!

-It's my sister's birthday as well today.

-Happy birthday to her.

I know. I know. So, there we are. Yeah, brilliant.

What would round it off better than taking a grand each home with you?

-Yeah, that would be nice.

-Well, best of luck.

You get to choose your category

from the four that we pop up on the board here.

Let's hope there's something up there you like the look of.

Today's selection reads like this.

-Science & Maths is a no.

-Mm-mm.

-Yeah, I think Science & Maths straight out is a no.

-OK.

-Not a positive one for either of us.

-1980s.

-I know you hate this, when people say this, but...

-No, don't say it.

-..I wasn't alive in the 1980s.

-Patrick!

-I know it's never an excuse.

-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

-Come on. Come on.

I just like to brag that I'm young.

Hey, listen, you're not that young.

People watching this show are, like, eight, my friend.

No, true, true, true.

I cannot begin to tell you how old you look to an eight year old.

LAUGHTER

I think the Caribbean, we're both maybe all right on, but...

-That's what we'll spend the money on if we win.

-Yeah.

-I think we're going to have to go with TV Finalists.

-TV Finalists.

TV Finalists it is, Richard.

OK, we are looking for anybody who was a contestant

on the final show of any of the following series

and didn't win it, please.

So, anyone who was a contestant on the final show

of any Apprentice series but didn't win it,

anyone who was a contestant on the final show

of any X Factor series but didn't win it

and anyone who was a contestant on the final show

of Strictly Come Dancing and didn't win it.

So, all the series of all of those shows.

Very, very best of luck.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers. And all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-OK.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Luisa Zissman was in the final, wasn't she?

-But that was this year.

-She's quite well-known.

There's Andy Abraham from The X Factor.

-OK, yeah.

-I think he was early on.

Rhydian Roberts, he came second. G4, they came second.

-Yeah, they're all good.

-All early ones.

Strictly Come Dancing.

Rachel Stevens I think might have come second,

-but she might have come third.

-The Apprentice.

Who sued quite recently? Someone sued very recently.

-No, that was Stella. She won.

-She won? OK, all right.

-Stella English, OK.

-Oh! Who came...?

-Luisa Zissman came...

-One Direction didn't win, did they?

No, but they came third.

Rachel Ferguson came second that year.

-Rebecca Ferguson.

-Rebecca Ferguson.

Um, I reckon go Andy Abraham.

Yeah, that's a good shout.

-G4 wasn't stupid.

-G4.

-And Rhydian. Rhydian.

What is his surname? Is it Roberts?

Rhydian Roberts. The Welsh guy with the...

-I think they're all good answers.

-..spicy hair.

-We don't know any Strictly Come Dancing.

-Ten seconds left.

-No. I could guess.

-I could guess people like Ola Jordan

-and people like that.

-Ooh.

She's good-looking, but...

-Oh, yeah, do The X Factor.

-OK, that's your time up.

Which three answers of the many we've heard

-are you going to give me?

-OK.

Um, so, we're going X Factor...

-I think all X Factor.

-Yeah.

-OK.

Oh, wait. Yeah.

-So, we'll go Andy Abraham...

-Andy Abraham.

-..Rhydian Roberts...

-Rhydian Roberts.

-..and G4.

-And G4.

-Yeah.

Of all those, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Andy Abraham.

-Andy Abraham.

-OK, Andy Abraham goes last.

-Least likely?

-Rhydian Roberts.

Rhydian Roberts goes first. OK, brilliant.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order then, and here they are.

We've got Rhydian Roberts, we've got G4

and we've got Andy Abraham.

Three perfectly good answers up there.

Pretty impressive knowledge there, Patrick.

-I don't even watch The X Factor...

-But it's all in there.

-..anymore.

LAUGHTER

Well, listen, very, very best of luck. Three great answers there.

Surely one of those will win you that jackpot. 2,000 quid.

What would you do with that? Nice birthday present.

Um, I'm going to Bordeaux for a week in the summer

-so I would buy quite a lot of wine, I think.

-Brilliant.

Good thing to do. Sarah?

I think I'll probably use it to go to Australia

and I'll probably use it for a four-week trip or so.

Perfect. Well, best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers wins it for you.

Your first answer was Rhydian Roberts.

You thought this was probably the least likely with his spicy hair.

You thought he might have maybe stuck in people's memories.

But let's find out. It has to be right, then it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things, you leave here with £2,000.

Best of luck. How many people said Rhydian Roberts?

Well, it's right.

Rhydian Roberts now taking us down below 50.

If he goes all the way down to 0,

you leave here with £2,000.

Rhydian Roberts now into single figures.

Down he goes. Still going down.

You've done it! You've done it!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Fantastic.

-Very, very well done indeed. Brilliant. Superb.

-Thank you.

Oh, congratulations.

Rhydian Roberts was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £2,000.

-Very, very well done indeed.

-He's not pointless anymore, is he?

Terrific play. Well done. You've been through here for two shows.

You seem to pick up where the other person has weaknesses.

You've been a great team. Your other answers.

-Andy Abraham - pointless answer.

-Yeah!

And G4 - three pointless answers.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You also said Rebecca Ferguson in your 60 seconds.

-She was a pointless answer.

-Oh, amazing.

You might as well call this round Hey, That's Show Business.

Um, and also for Strictly, you only gave us one answer

and that was Rachel Stevens, and she was a pointless answer as well.

So, it's not bad going.

Let's take a look at all the pointless answers.

I know lots of people at home will have had a go at this one.

Start with The Apprentice. There's a few names here.

Alex Wotherspoon, Claire Young, Kate Walsh, Kristina Grimes.

I liked her. In fact, everybody apart from Luisa Zissman,

Saira Khan and Ruth Badger.

Everybody else who's been in one of those final shows

was a pointless answer, so well done if you said any of them.

You've given us all four of the people on the next board -

The X Factor losing finalists. I'll tell you some more.

Eoghan Quigg was a pointless answer. Journey South. Marcus Collins.

Nicholas McDonald was a pointless answer and Same Difference as well.

They were my favourites.

And Strictly Come Dancing losing finalists.

You could have had Brendan Cole, one of the dancers.

Kristina Rihanoff as well.

Pamela Stephenson. There's Rachel Stevens.

You could have had Christopher Parker, Dani Harmer,

Denise Lewis, Flavia Cacace.

You could have had Ian Waite, James Jordan, Jason Donovan,

Julian Clary, Kimberley Walsh, Lisa Snowdon or Matt Di Angelo.

So, plenty of pointless answers out there.

Three in the studio here, so terrific work.

-Well played, guys.

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much, Rich.

Thanks once again to our winning players, Patrick and Sarah,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.