Episode 4 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Joe. This is my friend and work colleague Wendy

and we're from Swindon.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Steven and this is my friend Tess

and we are from the middle of Essex.

Couple number three.

Hi, my name is Dan. This is Muteen.

We're friends and we are from Birmingham.

And couple number four.

Hello, I'm Paul.

This is my daughter Grace and we are from East Yorkshire.

-And these are today's contestants.

-APPLAUSE

Thanks very much all of you.

We will find out more about you throughout the show.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He has jogged our memories so often, his feet are blistered

and his nipples chafed.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-Aw, that's a nice image to start the show.

-Isn't it?

-Thank you, yeah.

Now, what a show we had last time.

If you missed it, it was an absolute cracker. We had Patrick and Sarah.

-It was Patrick's birthday.

-It was.

-Wasn't it?

Got through to the final round.

-Three pointless answers.

-Hm.

-Three pointless answers.

He also gave us two others in their 60 seconds as well,

so they got five pointless answers overall. An amazing performance.

The only team coming back from that is Dan and Muteen.

Welcome back, Dan. Welcome back, Muteen.

Got through to the second round last time,

so it should be a fairly open show today. Should be fun.

-I like an open show.

-I like an open show as well.

-Those closed shows, I'm like, "Hm..."

-Yeah. I don't like those.

We should do an open show.

We should all go around and do open shows in...

in the big conurbations of the country.

-Like go on tour?

-Yeah, well, just an open show.

People can sort of drift in, we'll be there in a conference centre.

There will be open stands.

People can just come in with brochures and try it out for a bit.

See if Pointless is for them.

Do we bring the tower?

-We could put it on some wheels.

-LAUGHTER

As long as we just look at the spec for the conference centre

and make sure it's got a plug.

That's a good idea. If you own a conference centre with a plug,

perhaps we could come and visit you. LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Patrick and Sarah won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

If everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, all you have to remember is that the pair with the highest

score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

It's as simple as that. Our first category today is...

Football. Can you decide in your pairs

who is going to go first, who is going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

England footballers with 50 or more caps. Richard.

Yeah, we are looking for any male English footballer

who has won 50 or more caps up to February 2014, please.

And rather aptly, there are just over 50 names on the list.

Excellent.

So, Wendy, we come to you first. Welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Wendy?

I'm an IT finance manager.

-And you work with Joe?

-Yes, same company.

-Same company. Same desk, same office?

-Same desk, no.

-Not same desk, but...

-Different floors.

Oh, different floors. I see.

Now, what are your hobbies, Wendy?

-Erm, food, drink, poker, badminton.

-JOE GIGGLES

Excellent.

OK, well, football, how are we feeling about football?

-I love football!

-Good.

Doesn't mean I'm going to be any good at this question, though.

-Yes, 50 caps quite hard to work out.

-Mm. So I think...

..I'm going to go with... It is probably a very safe one.

But I just want to make sure I don't mess it up for Joe to start

really, so I'm going to go Peter Shilton.

Peter Shilton.

Safe pair of hands. OK, let's see. Is that right?

Let's see how many people said Peter Shilton.

It's right.

27, Peter Shilton.

Not a bad start to the show. Well done.

Yeah, the most capped player in English history actually. 125 Caps.

Only let in 80 goals over those 125 games.

-Isn't that amazing?

-Amazing.

-And he's been on Pointless.

-He has been on Pointless, hasn't he?

-He was in our World Cup special.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Tess.

-Welcome to the show. What do you do, Tess?

-I'm a tax advisor.

A tax advisor working for that HMRC?

No, I normally have to quantify that statement by saying not for HMRC.

-Oh, quantify! She IS a tax advisor.

-Ooh, yeah.

LAUGHTER

Very good. And what do you do when you are not advising tax?

Erm, I bake, I dance, I try and combine the two on occasion.

Bake and dance at the same time?!

Yeah, dance around the kitchen while I'm doing it.

Oh, that's nice. That's good. Very good.

Have you... How good is your baking? Are you... Would you...

Do you watch Bake Off and think, "Pff?"

Well, people say I should enter it.

I'd be too terrified to do it cos I always think you can

taste the stress in a cake, so people enjoy my cooking, but...

Hang on, what sort of stress are you putting into your cake?

-LAUGHS:

-It depends.

Wow! Now, Tess, Tess, what are you going to go for?

This is a nightmare category for me. Football is absolutely a no-no.

So I'm going to follow Wendy's lead and go for another goalie

and I'm going to say David Seaman.

David Seaman, says Tess. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said David Seaman.

It's right.

14.

Good answer, Tess.

Well played, Tess. Very good answer.

75 caps, two World Cups, two European Championships.

Very impressive.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Dan, we come back to you.

So, tell us more about yourself. You are from Birmingham?

Yep, I'm from Birmingham. I currently reside in Coventry

and I work at a well-known car company.

Right, you are.

So what actually do you do at the well-known car company?

I am...near the beginning of the track, so I...

When the harness starts going in, I put the ECU in,

which is the engine control unit.

Now that's fun. How many of those do you do a day?

-Erm, on a shift?

-Yeah.

-Erm...

-..up to about 320.

-And then do you see them go...

go completed as they go around the circuit?

Yes, we see them roll off at the end of the day.

Oh, that's exciting, isn't it?

-Well, that would be quite fun.

-LAUGHTER

So, now Dan, what are we going to go for?

Football was actually a pretty strong category of mine.

I can think of a few, some more obvious than others.

-I'm going to go Teddy Sheringham.

-Teddy Sheringham, says Dan.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Teddy Sheringham.

It's right.

Well, 27 has been our highest score so far,

14 our lowest.

Teddy Sheringham passes both of those.

Look at that! Down to 5.

Good score!

Yeah, well played, Dan. Just squeaked in actually,

mainly because he didn't get his first cap until he was 27.

Got capped first at 27, then he was a fixture from then on in.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Grace, welcome to the show.

What do you do, Grace?

I'm an account manager for a beauty brand in a department store.

What sort of beauty brand is it?

Is it an unguent that you rub in? Or is it something you spray on?

-Is it something you draw on?

-It's a bit of a mixture.

It's all over... Well, skin and face.

Very exciting. Very good.

OK, what are you going to go for? How's football for you?

Well, Teddy Sheringham was my answer, so...

I do enjoy football, actually.

I'm going to say, I think it might be quite popular. Paul Scholes.

Paul Scholes, says Grace. Let's see how many people said Paul Scholes.

Is it right?

It's right.

Well, if Teddy Sheringham took us down to 5.

Where is Paul Scholes going to take us? 8.

Very good indeed.

Good answer, Grace.

Yeah, well played, Grace. Paul Scholes 66 caps.

-My favourite player ever, Paul Scholes.

-Is he?

-Yeah. For what that's worth.

-Thanks very much.

We're over halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 5 the best score of that pass.

Very well done indeed. Dan, Muteen, looking pretty strong at this point.

Then up to 8 where we find Grace and Paul.

14, Tess and Steven.

Wendy on 27 there.

Relying on your football knowledge,

-Joe, so I hope you've got a nice low score.

-OK.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so remember we are looking for the name of any England

footballers with at least 50 England caps as of February 2014.

Paul, welcome. Great to have you here. What do you do, Paul?

I'm a retired primary school head teacher.

When did you retire?

I've retired a while ago because I went into some consultancy

and advisory work after finishing at the school.

Which I've decided to finish now

because I enjoy playing golf more than I did work.

Oh! Well, that's good, isn't it? Excellent.

Any other things you do in your retirement?

Erm, I really enjoy music, do a little bit of amateur

DJing at the golf club for weddings and...

-that sort of thing.

-You are that go to man for...

-I am that man, yes.

..for the functions.

Very good. OK, we are hoping for a music round to come up.

Well, eventually, yes. Hopefully, right at the very end.

OK, well, Paul there you are. You are on 8.

Good low score there thanks to Grace. 27 our high score.

So, 18 or less gets you into the next round.

I'm going to go right back in time to my Charlie Buchan magazines

that I collected as a very young child

and I'm going to go with Billy Wright.

Billy Wright says Paul. There is your red line.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Billy Wright.

It is right.

It gets you through.

-Oh! Scores you 2!

-APPLAUSE

Impressive for being our lowest score so far.

Taking your total up to 10. Oh, I was hoping for pointless there,

-but still nothing wrong with 2.

-Well played, Paul.

First England player to get over 100 caps, of course.

105 caps, the last 90 of them as captain.

When Pointless first started in the '50s, Billy Wright was...

-that was up in the 90s, wasn't it?

-Yeah, he was very big.

-Well, he came on the show, didn't he, Billy Wright?

-He did, yes.

-He did.

-He's actually married to one of the Beverley sisters,

so it would have been a terrific Pointless celebrity contestant.

That would have been good!

Thank you very much. Now, so, Muteen.

-Hello.

-Muteen, welcome back.

Now remind us what you do, Muteen.

I'm a section leader at a clothing store.

That's right. And another from that clothing store or is it...?

-Yeah, another one.

-Another Hawaiian shirt.

-Yeah!

You are favouring more of...

Slightly soberer, a sort of greyish blue.

I wanted to go with something more louder, but nothing was available.

-Yeah.

-Compared to last time.

Well, it's good. You know, it's got those hibiscus flowers there.

So, the pink sort of lifts it there, matching the general cerise...

-Camouflage.

-I'm just explaining it for people

who perhaps are watching in black and white.

-It's very good. It's like the Chelsea Flower Show, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

It is. It is.

So, Muteen, football.

Now, I saw you nodding at Billy Wright there.

There is something about your demeanour tells me

this is a good round for you.

It should be a good round, but I've got a few names in my mind.

Don't want to say just yet,

but I think it might be touching the border or just below it...

But I'm going to have to go with an answer that I'm sure is

definitely right here and I'm going with Gary Neville.

Gary Neville, says Muteen.

The high scorers are still Joe and Wendy on 27,

so 21 or less get you through. There is your red line.

Let's see how many people said Gary Neville.

It's right.

Very well done, you are through.

7.

7 takes your total up to 12.

Well played, Muteen. 85 caps, no goals for Gary Neville.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Steven, a warm welcome.

What do you do, Steven?

I am an IT person for car company.

IT... Have you spoken to Dan about his car company?

-It's all... You know, we can't.

-You can't.

-We can't discuss it.

OK, now, what are your hobbies, Steven?

Erm, I'm into...

I like computers, video games.

I've got a car that I play with at home.

I would say that I like watching football,

but based on this round, it's OK, football.

Don't tend to watch it so much.

What are you going to go for, do you think, Steven?

I've been racking my brain. I've got a couple in there,

but I think I've got to aim high because the bar is low.

So, I'll go for Trevor Francis, please.

Trevor Francis, says Steven.

And you want to be scoring 12 or less with this answer

Trevor Francis. That's what 12 looks like.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with Trevor Francis.

It's right.

You've done it!

And it's a pointless answer!

Very well done indeed, Steven.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £1,250.

It scores you nothing,

it earns you the respect of everyone in the room

and it leaves your total at 14. Very well done indeed.

Brilliant, Steven. Well played. Yeah, 52 caps for Trevor Francis.

So, again, just over the threshold.

-Thanks for a much indeed, Richard. Now, Joe, welcome.

-Thank you.

It's lovely to have you here. What do you do?

I sort of know what you do, actually.

You work on a different floor to Wendy.

Different floor to Wendy, yeah, and I'm a pension specialist.

-And from Swindon.

-Yes.

And what do you like getting up to in Swindon, Joe?

Erm, I do quite a lot of crafty things, sewing...

-not cooking so much, but card making sometimes.

-Making cards.

Yeah, things like that. And I like going on holiday a lot.

-Going on holiday. Where do you...where do you...

-A lot.

-A lot.

How much work to get in there with your pensions?

If you ask any of my colleagues, they'd say not very much.

They think I have more holiday than I'm actually in the office.

You can do quite a lot of pensions stuff from the poolside.

-Absolutely.

-As long as you've got Wi-Fi.

-Absolutely, not a problem.

-OK, so, Joe, I have terrible news.

-Yes.

-Which is I'm afraid you are the high scorers.

-Yes.

-Even before you've given your excellent answer.

-Or not, yes.

Or not.

What I can tell you, which is nice,

is that the 27 on your screen matches your top beautifully.

Thanks. I'll look forward to seeing on TV.

That can be a little treat for you when you watch it back.

OK, now, Joe, what are you going to go for?

Well, I've been thinking of a few.

I know quite a few England footballers.

I'm just not sure about the number of caps.

So I think I'm going to try David James.

David James says Joe.

David James well, that gets a nod from Dan.

Muteen giving not much away at this point,

but no red line, I'm afraid, for you, as you are the high scorers,

but let's see how many people said David James.

It's right.

Ooh, it's a good answer.

Look at that! 1, Joe!

Very well done indeed.

1, a great score.

Takes your total up to 28.

Yeah, made his World Cup debut at the age of 39 David James, amazingly.

There's a few pointless answers. We'll go through the one pointers

first cos I know people have had lots of different answers here.

1 point for Emile Heskey, Des Walker, David Platt, Emlyn Hughes,

the great Johnny Haynes, Kenny Sansom would have scored you 1 point.

Ray Wilkins, 1 point.

Jermain Defoe, Gareth Southgate, Jimmy Greaves also 1 point.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers. There's only four of them.

You could have had...

And we know the fourth one...

A few other low scorers.

2 points for Ray Wilson, Phil Neal, Joe Cole, Chris Waddle,

3 points for Beardsley, Tony Adams, Tom Finney, Stuart Pearce,

Gordon Banks. Let's take a look at the top three now.

They're the ones that most of our 100 people said.

35 for Gary Lineker.

41 for Wayne Rooney.

And we all avoided David Beckham with 70.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 28,

I'm afraid, it's Joe and Wendy.

And Joe, that was with the second lowest score.

Second lowest individual score of the round.

So, listen, really unlucky.

And far too good for us to be sending home this early

in the game, but it means we can look forward to seeing you next time

and expect much, much better things.

-But thanks very much for playing. Joe and Wendy.

-BOTH: Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it is now time for Round Two.

We're now down to three pairs.

Obviously, at the end of this round, we will be down to two pairs.

Well, well done, everyone. Lovely scoring in that round.

10, 12, 14 were the totals. So, very, very close indeed.

Paul and Grace, just brilliant. Lovely spread of low-scoring there.

Tess and Steven, you had our lowest individual score.

A pointless answer with Trevor Francis

and also congratulations to all three pairs,

at least one of you is wearing a very colourful shirt.

LAUGHTER

It's like being in a garden.

So very well done. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

It's pop music. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go

first, who is going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

LAUGHTER Come on!

It is quite funny.

-It concerns number twos.

-LAUGHTER

Number twos. Number twos.

I see, I try my hardest here thinking of questions and stuff

and this is what I get from you, from you lot, from you lot.

I know no-one at home is laughing, so that is good.

We are going to show you a list of number twos now.

LAUGHTER

You know what, I'm not going to go on until I got silence.

LAUGHING DIES DOWN That's better.

We're going to show you a list of six number two singles

we're also going to show you the name the song that kept them off

the number one slot. We need you to tell us

the name of the artist who had the number one single here.

We're going to give you their initials as well.

There's going to be six number twos on each board.

Six number one singles on each board and six artist to guess.

12 in all to have a go in at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, we are looking for the answers to the songs that kept these

songs off the top of the charts.

And here is our first board of six.

I'll read those all again.

We're looking for the answers whose names are in initial form

who kept these songs off the top of the charts.

Now, Tess.

Well, I know four of them

and I know the two I don't know

are going to be the best answers.

So, it's trying to work out the one

that's going to be the least

out of the ones I do know.

I'm going to go for...

the song that kept Common People off the top

and it was a complete travesty.

It was Robson Green and Jerome Flynn.

Robson Green and Jerome Flynn. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

25.

25.

Well played, Tess. Good start. Yeah, a travesty as you say

keeping Common People by Pulp off the number one slot.

So, Dan, we come to you.

-Hm...

-Dan.

One I know for sure.

I'd be guessing a bit more at the others.

I'm going to go...

..for the 1987 What Have I Done To Deserve This

-and I'm going to go with Rick Astley.

-Rick Astley, says Dan.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Rick Astley.

It's right.

Well, 25 is our only score so far.

Rick Astley takes you to...30.

Not bad.

Yep, Rick Astley keeping the Pet Shop Boys

and Dusty Springfield off the number one slot.

Thanks for a much indeed, Richard.

-Grace, you're the last person to have this board.

-Mm-hm.

Do you fancy talking us through it and filling in all the blanks?

Erm, I don't know any of them,

but I'm going to have a guess at Milkshake.

Erm...

I think it was Michelle. I'm sure it had a surname.

Michelle.

OK, All This Time by Michelle.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many people said Michelle.

It's right.

-Well done, Grace.

-Oh, my God.

Well, 30 is our high score. You passed that.

25 our low score, you passed that.

It's a pointless answer!

Once again. On that far podium they reign supreme.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total of to £1,500.

It scores you nothing, gives you a total of nothing.

Terrific answer, Grace. Well done, yeah.

Keeping Kelis off the number one slot.

-You can probably tell us the surname.

-McManus.

McManus, yeah, it's Michelle McManus who won the Pop Idol.

And that was her only number one. Kept that off the number one slot.

The Jean Genie by David Bowie was kept off the number one

slot by Little Jimmy Osmond.

Would have scored you 17.

Don McLean's American Pie was kept off the number one

slot by Chicory Tip.

Would have scored you six.

-And Squeeze's Cool For Cats was kept off by...

-Art.

Art Garfunkel, yeah.

23 points. So, Michelle, very much the best answer on the board.

That's how she was credited. She wasn't credited

as Michelle McManus on that song.

-Very good. They are good on that for podium.

-Aren't they?!

Thanks very much. We are halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. Nothing is the best score of that

round. Very well done, Grace and Paul.

Then up to 25 where we find Tess and Steven.

Up to 30 where we find Dan and Muteen. Not too far out ahead.

A low score from you, Muteen, is exactly what we need at this point.

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more songs on the board and here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now remember we're looking for the artists of the songs that

kept these songs off the top of the chart and, Paul, you are going to

try to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Right. There's a few on there

that I could probably have a go at,

but I'm going to play the age card

again. And I'm going to go for

Wand'rin Star - Lee Marvin.

Lee Marvin, says Paul. Wand'rin Star.

OK, you want to score 29 or less with that. That's you red line.

Let's see how far down the column you get with Lee Marvin.

It's right.

And you are through. Very well done. 16 for Lee Marvin.

Lowest score of the round.

Lowest total of the round, I should say. 16.

Well played, Paul. Safe and soundly through.

Yeah, keeping The Beatles off the number one slot.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Muteen.

-Hello.

You are the high scorers on 30.

-Yeah, no pressure.

-OK.

Well, Paul didn't help you out there with such a low score as that,

but what are you going to go for?

I can...

I can picture who sings the songs,

but can't remember the names.

Especially the 1996 one.

But the only name that does come into my head is the 2001

-Whole Again was Atomic Kitten.

-Atomic Kitten, says Muteen.

You are the high scorers, so no red line for you.

This just has to go as far down the board as it possibly can.

Let's see how many people said Atomic Kitten.

It's right.

23. 53 your total.

Well played, Muteen. Yeah, thwarting Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus.

It's been a top 40 hit a few times since then as well...

-Quite often, it re-enters the charts.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Now, Steven.

-Hiya.

Steven, that board is all yours.

I'm feeling all right about this board.

-You are feeling all right?

-I'm feeling all right.

Do want to talk us through it. Fill in all the gaps?

I think I can. I think Grenade... Oh, nope, I take that back.

I can do three of them.

I think Return Of The Mack was Mark Morrison.

I think Shaddap You Face was Joe Dolce,

but I don't know what the MT is.

Yeah, I was wondering about that.

And Grandad is Clive Dunn.

-So, I've got to go with Clive Dunn.

-SHE GASPS

-I think.

-OK, you're going to go for Clive Dunn.

Tess, you don't approve?

-No.

-OK, well, listen.

There is your red line, let's see how far down the column you get

with Clive Dunn. Below that red line, you're in the head-to-head.

It's right.

You've done it. Just! 25.

Look at that. Takes your total up to 50.

Ooh, that was close! That really was cutting it fine.

Funnily enough, Herbie Flowers who wrote Grandad later became

a member of T Rex for a time. Strange.

Herbie Flowers wrote Grandad?

-Yeah.

-I didn't know that.

-Yeah, he did indeed.

Mark Morrison would have been a much better answer.

Kept The Manics off the number one slot,

but would have scored you 7 points.

Now, it's Joe Dolce, but the full name of the act...

We usually accept Joe Dolce because he is so well known,

but it's Joe Dolce Music Theatre.

-Wow, we must go there some time.

-LAUGHTER

And BM is of course Bruno Mars. The brilliant Bruno Mars.

Would have scored you 14,

so Mark Morrison would have been the best answer on the board.

I mean, you are through anyway.

I wouldn't have forgiven him if we weren't.

Well, thanks very much indeed. At the end of our second round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 53, I'm afraid,

-Muteen and Dan. I'm sorry, it was Round Two last time.

-BOTH: Yes.

It's Round Two this time.

-Unfortunately.

-Oh, I'm sorry, but not a bad score at all.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers, but, yeah.

-Just unlucky.

-Just a bit high. I'm sorry we have to say goodbye,

but it's been great having you on the show.

Thanks very much for playing. Muteen and Dan.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Paul and Grace, Tess and Steve.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,500.

Well, this is going to be very close indeed.

Each pair has given a pointless answer.

Steven, you gave yours in the first round, Trevor Francis.

Grace, with Michelle in the second round, so very, very well done.

I think this is going to be incredibly close.

I wouldn't like to call it, best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Letters of the Greek alphabet. Richard.

We are going to show you five lower case of the Greek alphabet now.

You just have to tell us what they are called, please.

OK, let's reveal our five letters of the Greek alphabet

and here they come. We've got...

OK, there we are. Five characters of the Greek alphabet.

Now, Paul and Grace, you've been our low scorers so far,

so you will go first.

Do you know any?

If you don't know any of them,

have to go with a guess, I think.

OK.

We are struggling here

apart from the mathematical sign.

I think we're going to go for B - epsilon.

B - epsilon.

B - epsilon, say Paul and Grace. Now, Tess and Steven,

do want to talk us through the rest of the board?

-No.

-No, we don't. No, we're fine. We'll go now.

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, it's not our special subject, really.

Clearly in our heads we've got them all. They're in there, but...

Very well hidden.

So, we feel that A is probably omega, don't we?

-We feel that.

-Mm.

And I think D is alpha.

And C might be...ipsilon,

but we think we are going to go with omega for A.

You're going to say omega for A.

Omega for A so, we have epsilon versus omega.

Now, Paul and Grace said epsilon for B.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said epsilon.

It's right.

35.

Tess and Steven have gone for A and said omega.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said omega.

No, bad luck. Sorry, Tess and Steven.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, which means Paul

and Grace go to an early lead after one question of 1-0.

Well played, Paul and Grace. The first one it's not omega, it's pi.

Would have been too many points, though.

Would have scored you 52 points.

C is gamma.

That would have scored you 6.

D was alpha. Big scorer, though. Would've scored 64.

And the last one is mu and that would have scored you 12.

-A very useful word in Scrabble, mu.

-Mm!

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

Tess and Steven, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

Hammer films. Richard.

Going to show you the titles of five Hammer films now,

but we've removed the last word from each one.

Can you fill it in, please?

OK, let's reveal our five Hammer films and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

So, Tess and Steven, you will go first.

OK, I think I know a couple,

-but I think we're going to play it safe? No.

-No.

We're going to go for one we're surer of

which is The Curse Of The Mummy 1961.

The Curse Of The Mummy, say Tess and Steven.

The Curse Of The Mummy. Now, Paul and Grace, over to you.

Do you want to talk us through that board?

-Love to.

-I only know one.

-Frankenstein Must Be Over There.

-ALEX LAUGHS

I would assume Dr Jekyll And Sister Hyde.

-Grace, you have a clue with this one?

-The Woman In Black, I think.

The Woman In Black in 2012.

The Man Who Could Cheat Death I would hazard a guess.

But we will go with Grace's The Woman In Black.

The Woman In Black, say Paul and Grace. The Woman In Black.

So, Tess and Steven have gone for The Curse Of The Mummy.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how

many of our 100 people said The Curse Of The Mummy.

Oh, no, I'm sorry! I'm afraid it's not The Curse Of The Mummy,

which means, Paul and Grace, you merely have to be correct

with The Woman In Black and you will go straight through to the final.

Let's see if The Woman In Black is right.

It is right. Very well done.

It scores you 60.

It means Paul and Grace, after only two questions

you're straight through to the final 2-0. Well done.

Yeah, the highest grossing British horror film of the last 20 years,

The Woman In Black with Daniel Radcliffe, rather good in it

-as well actually. Not The Curse Of The Mummy, I'm afraid.

-Werewolf.

It's the 1961 The Curse Of The Werewolf, yeah.

It is The Curse Of The Werewolf and would have won you the points.

Cos it would have scored you 17.

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed.

Scored you 15.

And you're right about the other two - Dr Jekyll And Sister Hyde.

Big scorer, though. Would have scored 66 and The Man Who Could Cheat Death.

Would have scored you 65.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, is Tess and Steven. I'm so sorry.

Brilliant performance right up to this point.

And then the head-to-head, I'm afraid didn't go so well.

Our combined power not as good as our individual, clearly.

Anyway, listen, you've performed so well so far,

we are looking forward to seeing you again next time

and I'm sure you'll go as far if not further.

We'll look forward to that. Thanks very much for playing.

-Tess and Steven.

-APPLAUSE

But for Paul and Grace it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Paul and Grace. You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,500.

Well, that's just immaculate.

You've been our low scorers every single round, a pointless

answer from you, Grace, in Round Two

and then 2-0 victory in the head-to-head. What would help you?

What would be the category that got you to Pointless glory?

For me it would be Hull City wins over Fulham in the last...ten years.

LAUGHTER

Just changing a couple of questions here.

LAUGHTER

It would be probably music, sport, but as they've been and gone...

general. I know we...we both like travel,

so anything sort of travel-y, geography might be OK.

OK, as always, you get to choose your category.

We'll give you four options to choose from.

Let's hope there's something up there you like.

Here is today's board. We have...

-Ouch.

-GRACE SIGHS

Well, I watched quite a lot of the Winter Olympics.

I'm not very good at politics, jazz or books.

No, I think we're going to have to go for the Winter Olympics, Xander.

OK, the Winter Olympics it is. Richard.

OK, three different questions here. Take your pick from any of these.

We are looking for the names of

any of the 2014 Team GB medal-winning curlers.

So, anyone from the men's team or the women's team that won the silver

and bronze respectively.

We are looking for any country that won

a medal at the 2014 Winter Olympics.

Or we are looking for any BBC 2014 Winter Olympics presenters,

commentators and pundits according to their media centre press

release sent out in December 2013.

So, any of our medal-winning curlers,

any of those countries who won Olympic medals or any presenter,

commentator or pundit working for the BBC.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of the answers

-you give us to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Go with the curling team.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

Cos there's the lady that won the skeleton last year

and she was commentating on all the skeleton. I can't remember...

-OK, her name was Amy Williams.

-Yeah.

Who were on the curling team? Can you remember?

Matthew Pinsent was another commentator.

And there's also Jenny Jones's friend

-that was commentating on her thing.

-And Jenny Jones's friend's name is?

-I know, she was part of the ski...

-Yeah.

-..slalom team.

-But she was injured.

-Can you think of any of the curling team?

Your mother would know them all.

What was the brown-haired lady with ice blue eyes?

I know.

We're going to have to go with medal-winning countries as well.

Think of a really hot country that no-one would think of.

Well, the Jamaican bobsled team have been and gone.

-They do anything.

-We've got Matthew Pinsent, we've got Amy Williams...

-Ten seconds left.

-..for the commentators and then we can go...

-Think of a country.

-..for Slovenia, which won...won a few.

I think we're going to have to go with that.

OK, your time is now up. What are your three answers going to be?

-We've got Amy Williams...

-Amy Williams.

-..from the commentators.

-Matthew Pinsent from the commentators.

-Matthew Pinsent.

And I think, you agree, I think we'll have to go for Slovenia.

Slovenia one of the medal-winning countries.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

The best shot would probably be Amy Williams.

-Amy Williams, we will put that last.

-Matthew Pinsent in the middle.

Matthew Pinsent in the middle. Slovenia first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are.

We've got...

Well, very, very best of luck. Three good answers on the board.

Your first answer, Slovenia, probably the one you thought

was least likely to be pointless.

What would you do if you won the jackpot?

1,500 quid is quite a nice sum to walk away with. Paul?

Erm, Grace and her boyfriend are just about to have a new

bathroom fitted into their house

and I think there may be some borrowing going on.

I would probably like to put it towards a nice holiday for myself

and Wendy my wife, but I think the pressure may be on that way.

On the bathroom. Grace, apart from the bathroom,

your dad's not listening, just tell us what else...?

I would like a new car. I'd describe mine as a tin can,

so it be nice to have a new car.

Is this the first time you've mentioned this to your father?

OK, new car. Well, good.

Let's hope at least one of these answers is pointless

and wins you that jackpot. Slovenia, your first one.

We're looking for the medal-winning countries

from the 2014 Winter Olympics.

Let's see how many people said Slovenia for £1,500.

Is it pointless?

It's right.

Now, let's see how far down the column Slovenia takes us.

If it goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £1,500.

Taking us down into single figures.

Down it goes, still going down. Down it goes. Oh! 1!

Oh, my gosh.

One person...got Slovenia.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer. What a brilliant answer

that was, though! Fantastic. Very well done.

Sets you in good stead for the next two answers.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Matthew Pinsent. Let's see if that's right.

If it's right and if it's pointless, you will win £1,500.

In this case, we were looking for BBC broadcasters,

commentators or pundits who were at the Winter Olympics.

Let's find out was Matthew Pinsent there? How many people said it?

It's right.

Well, Slovenia, your first answer, took us

tantalizingly close all the way down to 1.

Matthew Pinsent now taking us down through the teens into single

figures down he goes. Still going down. Down he goes to 2.

Ugh! A second excellent answer.

Not a pointless answer though.

-SIGHS:

-OK, one more shot at today's jackpot.

Your last answer was Amy Williams.

This was the one you are most confident in.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless. For £1,500,

let's see if Amy Williams was one of the BBC personnel.

Did anyone say her?

OK, it's right.

Now, your scores so far have been, 1 for Slovenia,

2 for Matthew Pinsent.

Amy Williams now taking us down into single figures.

Down goes Amy... Oh, no! 6.

Slovenia.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I mean, an exceptional score line there.

I mean, fantastic. 1, 2 and 6. All single figure scores. I mean...

Slovenia was so close. You were within a whisker of winning there.

-I'm going to take up curling.

-OK.

-ALEX CHUCKLES

I'm sorry, though, you didn't find

that all-important pointless answer.

So, I'm afraid, you don't win today's jackpot of £1,500.

That will roll over onto the next show, but we've loved having you on.

You have been absolutely superb the whole way through.

And you get a Pointless trophy each to take away. So, there you are.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played and tough luck as well.

Yeah, the big scorers were the two captains, the two skips -

Eve Muirhead and David Murdoch. They were the big scorers

and you would have got one for Anna Sloan, Vicki Adams and Tom Brewster,

but the other five names you could have had all were pointless.

They were...

And Michael Goodfellow. Very well done if you got any of those.

I think a lot of Scottish viewers would have got a few of those.

Let's take a look at the countries,

there's only three pointless answers on the countries.

There is Croatia. Won one silver.

Czech Republic won eight medals and Kazakhstan who won

a bronze in figure skating, so very well done if you said that.

And for the BBC commentators and pundits and what have you.

Brent Pope, the ice hockey expert.

Eleanor Oldroyd, the lovely Eleanor Oldroyd is a pointless answer.

Emma Carrick-Anderson the skier,

Tim Warwood. There was lots of controversy with him,

Ed Leigh and Aimee Fuller, saying they got too enthusiastic

in their commentary. They didn't in my opinion.

I thought they were absolutely sensational.

They were pointless answers. Ed Leigh also a pointless answer.

Also could have had two British commentators

Hugh Porter and Paul Dickenson also both pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Paul and Grace,

but it's been fantastic having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing so well.

-BOTH: Thank you.

-Paul and Grace.

-APPLAUSE

Sadly, Paul and Grace didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye for me. Goodbye.