Episode 30 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless,

the show where the more obscure your knowledge,

the better your chances of winning. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And, couple number one.

Hello, I'm David, this is my friend Simon. We're from Bristol.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Sophie and this is my brother Tom, and we're from Croydon.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Harry. This is my family friend Lucy,

and we're from Radcliffe in Greater Manchester.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Carol and this is my friend Sarah,

and we're from Cirencester.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce,

a zombie feasting on the fetid flesh of fact.

You would say if these intros were getting a bit too much,

-wouldn't you?

-Yeah.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Hiya. APPLAUSE

A zombie, you say?

-That's where it's going today.

-Feasting on the...

Fetid flesh of fact, you heard.

-Fetid flesh of fact.

-Yes.

-Got to be very careful how you say that.

I tell you what, you've got nice big hair today, Richard.

-Yeah, it's... It's built up.

-I tell you who you look like...

-.."Quiff" Michelmore.

-LAUGHTER

Lovely show last time.

We've got two returners from that - Simon and David,

got knocked out in Round Two.

And Lucy and Harry got all the way through to the head-to-head.

And we had lovely Luke and Ellie, who gave us

two pointless answers in the jackpot round, walked off with the money.

-So back to 1,000. But it was only 1,000 then, wasn't it?

-Hmm.

We've had a whole slew of jackpot winners recently.

It's been bleeding out, that jackpot, hasn't it?

-It really has, hasn't it?

-Yeah.

-We're running out of money.

-Yeah. Actually, yes, we are, actually.

I hope you have collected those bottle tops.

Should we have a collection for a Pointless prize fund?

-That would be good, wouldn't it?

-Simple idea, like an appeal.

-Yeah.

Pointless In Need.

-It's a good idea. Who'd host?

-Yeah, that's a point.

Simon.

-Not the worst idea you've ever had.

-No, no.

Well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, Luke and Ellie won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

There it is. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated. That's the only thing you have to remember.

Oh, yes, and you have to make sure you're not in that pair.

Our first category for today is...

Tennis. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

Countries with 2014 Davis Cup or Fed Cup tennis teams. Richard.

Yes, we're looking for any of the countries

which are represented in the first round of the World Group

of either the Davis Cup or the Fed Cup in 2014, please.

We won't accept GB but any of those other countries.

We are essentially looking for any of the 17 best

countries at tennis in the world.

-There we are. Now, Simon. Welcome.

-Hi.

-Remind us what happened last time. It was Round Two, wasn't it?

-Yes.

We did well in Round One, with the history, very well,

but then 2013 UK singles tripped us up.

Anyway, remind us what you do, Simon.

I'm a sales and marketing manager for an electronics company.

Indeed. That's right.

I'd have forgotten if you hadn't done that special face.

-THEY LAUGH

-He designs weapon systems.

Basically, he is our first line of defence, so there we are.

-We should...

-Don't forget, he's not allowed to talk about it.

-Yeah, he's not a lot talk about it. Sorry, yeah.

-So don't tell anybody.

-Don't tell anyone.

-Yeah. I'm going to try and wheedle...

I might try and wheedle some info out of him, just on the sly.

He won't even know he's telling me.

-OK. So, Simon, tennis.

-Yes.

-Think about your tennis.

What's the most exciting system you're designing the moment?

-SIMON LAUGHS

-Tennis. He's not going to know.

He won't know he's telling me. It's just going to come out.

-That's good.

-Yeah.

-OK...

-Ground-to-air?

Sorry, sorry, sorry. On you go, Simon. On you go.

Um, this is actually quite a good subject for me. I like tennis a lot.

I'm going to go for the country based on my favourite ever tennis

player and going to go for Switzerland.

Switzerland, says Simon.

Let's see if Switzerland is right. Let's see how many people said it.

-APPLAUSE

-18.

Well played, Simon. Yeah, they were in the Davis Cup.

They had a very strong team. Federer, who I assume is your

favourite player, and Wawrinka as well, so that's a fairly strong team.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Sophie.

-Yes.

-Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here, from Croydon.

-Yes.

-What do you do, Sophie?

-I work in digital marketing.

-Digital marketing?

-Yes.

-So you're doing advertising online?

-Is that essentially it?

-Yeah, on Google.

So, you know when those annoying ads come up

-when you search for something?

-They're not annoying, I love them!

-What are you talking about?

-That's not the feedback we get.

The best bit! That's why I go on any of those search engines,

because, of course, many others do exist.

-Now, Sophie.

-Yes.

-What are you going to go for?

-Do you follow tennis at all?

-No.

-OK. So it's going to be a sort of geography question for you?

-Yes.

-Bit of a...bit of a sort of...

-Yes. Just going to take a guess.

Um...

I don't want to go with anything too obvious,

so it might be... I'm not sure.

China.

OK, China. Not too obvious. China, though.

Let's see if that's right. Well, you never know.

Let's see if China is a good answer. It might well be.

How many people said China?

Oh, I'm sorry, Sophie. I'm afraid an incorrect answer there, China.

Sorry, Sophie. Not a bad answer.

They've got some terrific tennis players, China,

but didn't qualify for the first round

of either tournament, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Harry, welcome back.

Head-to-head last time. Did very, very well.

What saw you off in the head-to-head, though?

We got stuck on questions about David Brent and The Office.

Oh, that's right. That's right.

Yes. So remind us what you do, Harry.

I'm contentedly retired now.

But you are restoring Manchester's canals brick by brick.

I'm an active member of our local canal restoration society.

So how much... What percentage of the canal has now been restored?

How much have you got to do?

Navigable-wise there's only probably the first 5% or so,

-so we've a long way to go.

-A long way to go.

-Some good challenges.

-And you're getting grants?

-You're getting lottery funds and things like that?

-Not as such,

we're still working on that.

We had a grant last year that enabled us to replace a bridge,

but it was styled using fully-scaled Meccano,

-and it's the only one in the world.

-That's brilliant!

When you said "but", I thought there'd be a downside.

-But, no, that sounds fantastic.

-That was an excellent project, yes.

Very good. So you're looking for people to fund further projects?

-Yes, the more, the merrier.

-The more, the merrier.

So, Harry, what are you going to go for?

Um, I think I'll go for Romania.

Romania, says Harry. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Romania.

Got a nod from Simon.

But not from our 100, I'm afraid.

Romania, an incorrect answer.

But you're in good company.

Yeah, I have to say, a bit cocky, that, from Simon, I thought.

Just cos you got one right, you say, "Yep, yeah, Romania."

LAUGHTER "Done this.

"Not even bother looking at the tower. That'll be nine."

No, unlucky again. Not in either of those, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, Carol, welcome.

Here from Cirencester. What do you do, Carol?

I'm a freelance book editor.

-That's fun. So you do all that from home?

-Yes, all from home.

And do you work for particular publishers or...

All sorts, loads of different publishers.

And what kinds of book? Or any kind of book?

I do anything from chick lit right through to manuals for apprentices.

Wow. So how many books do you edit in a year, would you say?

Ooh, what a good question.

-Um...

-RICHARD CHUCKLES

-"No-one has ever said that to me."

-"Ever said that before."

-That is amazing.

-Yeah.

You knew it had to come eventually.

-Yeah, that's nice.

-790 episodes, you had to hit it sooner or later.

-Yes.

LAUGHTER

Usually when people say, "What a good question,"

that usually means, "Oh..."

-But that sounded...that sounded believable to me.

-OK.

-I reckon about 12, something like that.

-Right.

-Yeah.

OK. So one for every month?

But presumably, they all run concurrently.

They do. Which is why I couldn't work it out straightaway.

That's quite nice. Means you get a break from one by doing the other.

-Yes.

-Now, Carol, teams that were in the 2014 Davis or Fed Cups.

Oh, yeah.

-What are you going to go for?

-Right.

I was going to go for Romania, so luckily...

Phew, you dodged one there.

Yeah. So I think I'm going to go fairly steady with Russia.

Russia, says Carol.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Russia.

Absolutely right, of course. Our only correct answer scored 18.

Will you be higher or lower than that? You're lower.

11, very well done, Carol.

-Good answer.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, the Russians were in the Fed Cup in 2014.

Won it many, many times as well.

The Fed Cup is essentially the women's tennis

version of the Davis Cup.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores.

Very much the best scorer of that pass was yours, Carol,

putting you and Sarah very much in the lead there with 11.

Then up to 18, where we find Simon and David.

Then up to 100, Harry and Lucy, Sophie and Tom.

So, Lucy and Tom,

everything is hinging on your tennis knowledge.

Hmm.

Oh, Lucy, no.

On your geography knowledge, then.

-Maybe.

-Your geography knowledge, there we are.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Well, Sarah, welcome to Pointless.

Remember, we're looking for any team, apart from the UK,

that played in the first round of either the 2014 Davis or Fed Cups.

Sarah, what do you do?

I am a student at the University of Leicester

and I also work as a model.

Right you are. So what are you reading a Leicester?

I'm reading English literature.

-Enjoying it?

-It's OK.

It's done in chronological order, so I prefer modern stuff.

-So as my course gets on, I enjoy it more.

-OK. So where did you start?

-Beowulf.

-Beowulf.

And stuff that you have to get a dictionary out to translate,

and not a normal dictionary, like, an Old English...

-Hmm.

-Not fun.

So it just gets easier and easier. Yeah, that's good.

And the modelling, what sort of modelling do you do?

I do things like e-commerce, so online,

things that you might shop, or magazines, that kind of stuff.

Very good. Nice to have that as a sideline through university as well.

-Yeah, keeps me busy.

-Very good.

Well, there you are. You're on 11. The high-scorers

are on 100.

You need to score 88 or less.

Yes.

OK. Um...

I have an idea in my head of what I think might be good,

but then I have some that I'm sure will be obvious, safe answers.

So I'm going to - if it's OK - take a punt and I'm going to say Serbia.

Serbia, says Sarah. Well, here comes your red line.

Get below this with Serbia and you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Serbia.

It's right and you're through. Very well done indeed, Sarah.

That's a fantastic answer.

Our lowest score so far. Scores you 7, takes your total

up to 18.

Great answer, Sarah. Very well played.

Made it through to the Davis Cup first round, even though Djokovic,

obviously their most famous player, he elected not to play.

Wow. Why?

Because he was out at eight o'clock and his mum called him in

and he said that she said that he was allowed out till 8.30.

She said she'd actually said 7.30,

so he'd been allowed out half an hour longer than he was supposed to.

He thought he'd been allowed out half an hour less.

-He didn't think, he knew damn well.

-Yes, exactly.

So his mum said, "Well, you can play anyway."

He said, "Well, now I don't want to," and so Serbia got knocked out.

-OK, fair enough.

-Same old...age-old story.

Yep, yep, yep. Now, Lucy.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Lucy.

I work in pharmaceutical market research.

And what are your hobbies, Lucy?

I like languages and travelling.

I like reading, music, things like that.

Do you play instruments?

Yeah, I play the clarinet and also a bit of piano as well.

And you've kept up with the clarinet?

I had lessons until I went to university.

I got to my Grade 8, so I did all of the lessons

and then I joined a band when I was in uni.

And since coming back, I've not had chance to...

-It sits there on the shelf in its box?

-Yes.

-Gathering dust.

-You must play it, though.

-I know, I should.

Otherwise you'll forget all your fingering.

The clarinet is the sort of thing you can't really play on its own,

-can you?

-No.

-You need other people to play with.

Anyway, there you are. You're on 100.

We need a low score from you, Lucy.

Well...

I think I'm just going to take a wild guess

because I feel that Tom might have a good answer.

I'm just going to say the Ukraine.

The Ukraine, says Lucy. The Ukraine.

No red line for you as you're joint high-scorers.

But let's see if it's right. Let's see how far down the column you get.

No indication from Simon at this stage.

CONTESTANTS CHUCKLE

Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy,

not the Ukraine.

It's sounded like a really good answer,

but I'm afraid it's scored you 100 points.

Takes your total up to 200.

Yeah, not a bad guess at all, the Ukraine,

but, yeah, it didn't qualify for the Davis Cup or the Fed Cup.

OK, now, Tom.

Tom, welcome. What do you do, Tom?

I'm currently a student at the University of Southampton.

-Studying?

-Economics and philosophy.

-What year are you in?

-My second year.

-OK.

And what else are you getting up to when you're down in Southampton?

I play football for my society.

I thought you were going to say, "For my sins."

-THEY LAUGH

-For your society, good.

-Yes.

-Is this for your society rather than for the university?

-Yes.

So the university has their own separate team.

There's about four or five at a very high standard.

-So I play within societies, halls.

-I see.

Just clubs have their own team, so I play in that.

I see. Now, there you are.

You now have a goal, which is to score 99 or less.

Surely. Surely.

Yes.

So, because of that... I didn't have a very good answer,

so I think I'm going to plump safe and say Spain.

Spain, says Tom.

Let's see if Spain is right. Here's you red line.

Lovely and high. Essentially, Spain just has to be right

and you are through to the next round.

It's right and you're through. Well done, Tom.

28.

128 is your total.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Tom. Safe and sound.

Yeah, they've won both many times and they were in both in 2014.

-Thanks very much, Richard. Now, David.

-Hello.

I have such good news. There is a place for you in Round Two.

-Would you like it?

-Yes, please.

I will need a deposit.

No, it's fine, it's fine. We can settle up later.

David, remind us about yourself.

I'm a design engineer for the same company that Simon works for.

Right you are.

-And based down in Bristol?

-Based in Bristol, yes.

-Now, I...

Call me Henry Higgins,

-but I'm detecting a sort of north-eastern accent.

-There is, yes.

-Where are you from originally?

-I'm originally from Wallsend.

-Are you?

-GEORDIE ACCENT:

-Wallsend?

-Newcastle, aye.

-Lovely.

-And how long have you lived in Bristol?

-30 years now.

-Still, you haven't lost the accent.

-I know, man.

-Good stuff.

-And do you head up northeast often?

-Yes. Yeah, yeah.

-Family up there?

-Family up there, yeah.

Very good. And things like football teams, do you follow football?

The Toon, man.

-Yes, still, good. You haven't...

-No.

-Very good.

-Support Newcastle.

David. So, yes, there you are, you can saunter through this round

and, at your leisure, come up with an answer.

No pressure on you at all.

Well, again, I don't know much about tennis either.

Geography-wise, yeah, I can pluck a country out of the air.

-I'm going to say Argentina.

-Argentina, says David.

Let's see if Argentina is right.

No red line for you as you are already through.

But for fun, let's see how far down the column we go with Argentina.

It's right.

Well, 7 is our lowest score of the round.

Let's see where Argentina takes you. 11!

Very well done indeed.

-APPLAUSE

-29 is your total.

Well played, David. Great answer.

Yeah, they played in the Davis Cup in 2014.

Now, of those 17 countries, there is actually

a pointless answer out there.

They played in the Davis Cup in 2014.

Very well done if you said Kazakhstan.

Terrific answer if you said that.

The next best answers would have been the Slovak Republic for 2

and the Czech Republic for 4.

You also could have had Japan and the Netherlands,

both would have scored you 6 points.

Good answers. Belgium - 7, Canada - 9.

You'd have had Italy for 14. Italy knocked the UK out.

You'd have scored 21 for Germany.

And then the top three, let's take a look at those -

the ones that most of our 100 people said when we asked them online.

29 for Australia.

40 for France.

And the USA with 58.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

with their high score of 200, I'm so sorry,

our head-to-headers from last time, Lucy and Harry.

So unfair. Nothing from with your answers

-apart from them being incorrect.

-THEY LAUGH

But in spirit they were right, is what I mean.

I'm so sorry to say goodbye.

But, Lucy and Harry, good luck with the canals.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you on the show.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

But very, very well done.

You all negotiated that pretty well.

And you've seen off our best-performing returning pair,

our head-to-headers from the last show. Very good work.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

As simple as that. People.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who is going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Richards and Alexanders.

It was originally going to be Alexanders and Richards

and I persuaded them to change it around.

We're going to show you two boards now,

six clues on each to famous people called Richard or Alexander.

It could be their first name or their surname as well.

There's 12 Richards and Alexanders to guess at home. Good luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

We're looking for the famous Richards or Alexanders

described by these clues. Here's our first board of six.

And we have...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six clues to famous Richards or Alexanders.

Simon, you're going to try and find the lowest-scoring one

-on that board.

-OK.

I think I know three,

but I'm going to go for the last one,

the Scottish bacteriologist and Nobel Prize winner.

I'm going for Alexander Fleming.

Alexander Fleming, says Simon.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many said Alexander Fleming.

It's right.

34.

34 for Alexander Fleming.

Yes. He discovered it by accident, of course, and, actually,

they couldn't make enough of it and his work was almost forgotten.

It was only nine years later that an Oxford lab thought,

"Oh, there might be something in this,"

and started working on mass production,

which is why it's so prevalent today.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

-So Fleming basically just thought it had been forgotten about?

-Yeah, exactly.

-He's probably got a job doing something else.

Yeah, he was working in Poundland in Cumbernauld.

Call comes through. Oh, yes, yes.

Call comes on his mobile. Nearly rings off.

-"Ohhh."

-Shouldn't really have it on at work.

-There we are.

-Well, you know, he's just doing his pricing.

-Yeah, yeah.

-"Yeah."

"You remember penicillin, Alexander?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." That was a good day to be buying other stuff

in that aisle because it was all priced at 19 pence.

Yeah, exactly. And they said, "These guys in Oxford,

-"you know, they like your penicillin."

-"Yeah?"

"I'm telling you, basically,

"you can quit the day job. You just made 40 million bucks."

"Kuzchung!"

-The floor has now got 19p on it.

-LAUGHTER

And he throws the phone down. It was an old model.

Went and told his boss what he thought of him.

Actually went in to tell his boss what he thought of him.

Said, "I'm going to shove this job," then thought,

"My boss has actually been nice to me over the years."

-Gave him some money.

-And he just said, "Do you know what?

"I've loved working here, you're a great guy,

"but I invented penicillin."

-"See ya."

-"So I have to go to Oxford..."

-Yeah.

-"..and open a penicillin shop."

-And the rest was quite literally history.

-Yes.

-Amazing.

Thank you very much indeed. So, Tom.

Tom.

Well, I think that was the only one I was really certain on,

Alexander Fleming.

But I think the top one, who wrote The Count Of Monte Cristo,

was Alexandre Dumas.

Alexandre Dumas, says Tom.

Let's see how money people said Alexandre Dumas.

It's right.

34 is our only score so far and you've passed that...

-33, just.

-APPLAUSE

Ooh, some very tight grouping there

in the 30s.

Yeah, Alexandre Dumas. Very well played.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Sarah.

-Um...

-You're the last person to have this board, so talk us through it.

I would love to be able to talk you through,

but I have an answer left

and that's the only one I do know.

So I'm going to have to go for the writer of the screenplays

Four Weddings And A Funeral and Notting Hill is Richard Curtis.

Richard Curtis, says Sarah. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Richard Curtis.

It's right.

Well, 34 and 33 are our only scores so far.

Oh, you've passed them both! Look at that, 18.

What about that?

-18.

-Well played, Sarah. Another good answer.

Yes, at the time of that film, when he was cast in that film,

Hugh Grant's career was not where it is now. He was essentially...

He was teaching Juliette Binoche how to speak English

for cash in hand. That's what he was doing, that was his job.

He wasn't getting acting work,

-and that film turned everything around.

-Turned everything around.

The actor who played George Costanza is the wonderful Jason Alexander.

Would have scored you 5.

-The German composer?

-Richard Wagner.

Richard Wagner.

Would have scored you 31.

The best answer on the board, in fact a pointless answer, Richard Wilbur.

That Pulitzer Prize, Richard Wilbur. Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through the round,

so let's see those scores.

18, the best score of that pass, Sarah. Very well done indeed.

Sarah and Carol looking strong at this stage.

Then up to 33, Tom and Sophie there.

Then just a click above them, on 34, we find Simon and David.

So, David, I don't know how it's happened,

but you are the high-scorers. We need a low score from you.

Let's hope there's something that you like.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board.

And here they are...

I'll read those all one final time.

-Carol.

-Right.

-Carol.

I think I know three.

Um, but I think I'm going to go for British writer

and creator of No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency,

and I think that's Alexander McCall Smith.

Alexander McCall Smith, says Carol. Here comes your red line.

Get below this and you're definitely in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Alexander McCall Smith.

It's right.

You're through to the next round.

Very well done. 8 for that.

26 your total,

still the lowest score.

Well played, Carol. They're very good on podium four today.

-Aren't they?

-Yes. He was formerly a professor of medical law and he sold

over 20 million copies of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Sophie.

Yes. Sophie, there you are on 33.

You're not the high-scorers.

You have to score a pointless answer, though,

to be sure of a place in the next round.

Do you think you can do it?

No.

I only knew the top one, so, erm, I'm going to have to guess.

Character in Buffy - Alexander...

..Jones.

Alex Jones.

OK. Alexander Jones, says Sophie.

There is a red line there, just have to pretend you can see it.

It's on 0.

Let's see if Alexander Jones is right.

No, I'm afraid, Sophie.

A tough board there. And I'm afraid you've scored 100 points.

133 your total.

You might not be out of the game, you never know.

Yeah, sorry, Sophie, valiant guess.

I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, David, do you want to talk us through the board?

Well, the US stand-up comedian is Richard Pryor.

The actress...

..who played Pauline Fowler is Wendy Richards.

The lead singer of The Verve is Richard someone.

I can't remember his surname.

And the other two, I haven't got a clue.

-Which of those are you going to go for?

-Richard...

-Pryor.

-Richard Pryor, says David.

There is your red line.

98 or less sees you through.

Get below that red line and you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see if Richard Pryor can get you there.

It's absolutely right, very well done.

19.

53 your total.

Yeah, well played. Brilliant, Richard Pryor.

Worth seeing. Worth seeing Stir Crazy and Silver Streak, isn't it?

-Haven't seen it for years.

-Fabulous.

-I should do that again.

Lucky you went for him cos I wouldn't have given you

Wendy Richards, I'm afraid. It's not her name.

Like some people call him Cliff Richards and it's not -

it's Wendy Richard is her name.

Would have scored you 14.

The clue was very much in the question there.

Would score 14. The lead singer of The Verve, it was a Richard.

It's Richard...

-It's Richard...

-Ashcroft.

-Ashcroft.

Would have scored 6. Let's look at the bottom one next.

-The former editor of Private Eye?

-Richard Ingrams.

Richard Ingrams, yes. Would have scored you 22.

And this last one is not just an Alexander but a Xander

and a pointless answer.

It is Xander Harris.

Very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed.

At the end of our second round, the pair heading home

with our high score of 133, Sophie and Tom, I'm sorry to say it is you.

But great performance in the first round.

We'll see you again next time. We'll expect greater things from you.

But, meantime, thanks very much indeed, Sophie and Tom.

APPLAUSE

But for Carol and Sarah, Simon and David,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Carol and Sarah, Simon and David.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £1,000.

There we are. Well done, both pairs.

Simon and David, this is a great improvement on last time.

And, Carol and Sarah, superb. Low scorers each time.

But there have been low scores from each of you, actually, individually.

I think now you can play together as teams, I think this is

going to be incredibly close.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

-Cats On Screen. Richard.

-Yes, pictures of cats.

We're going to show you five cats that feature in films now.

Just need to tell us the name of the film, please. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five cats.

And here they are.

There we are. Five cats on screen.

Now, Carol and Sarah, you've been our low scorers so far,

so you will go first.

Right. I think we know a few of them and we're just kind of discussing

which one we think would be the lowest scorer, but I think...

-(A.)

-..A is Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's.

OK, A - Breakfast At Tiffany's, say Carol and Sarah.

Now, Simon and David, that board is all yours. Talk us through it.

B, we think, is You Only Live Twice.

C is Alien.

D is something like Welcome Back Llewellyn Davis.

-Is it something like that?

-Yeah, something like that,

-I'm not too sure.

-E, I think, is probably The Aristocats.

But we'll go for B,

You Only Live Twice.

B, You Only Live Twice.

So, we have Breakfast At Tiffany's and You Only Live Twice.

Carol and Sarah, Breakfast At Tiffany's

is what you said for A.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

17 for Breakfast At Tiffany's. Very well done.

Good score.

Now, Simon and David, very familiar image, that from B there.

But which film is it from? You've said You Only Live Twice.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It is right. Is it going to beat 17?

Yes, it is. Look at that!

Wow, that's a great score, 3.

3 for You Only Live Twice.

Which means, Simon and David, after one question, you are up 1-nil.

Terrific play, Simon and David. I think everyone would know

it's a Bond film, but to get the Bond film is very, very impressive.

And Breakfast At Tiffany's,

that cat is called Cat, which I think started...

that started the fashion of people calling their cat Cat.

C is Alien, big scorer, though. Would have scored you 44.

D, not a million miles away. It's a Coen brothers film.

It's Inside Llewyn Davis.

-Great film.

-Would have scored you 6.

And E is The Aristocats. Would have scored 30.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Carol and Sarah, you have to win this to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Shakespeare's Missing Persons. Richard.

We're going to show you five Shakespeare plays now

but with a missing word, each of which is a name.

Can you tell us what that name is, please?

Thanks very much indeed. So let's reveal our five Shakespeare plays.

And here they are, with missing names.

I'll read those all again.

Now, Simon and David, you will go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go... We think it is Tee-mon of Athens.

Tee-mon of Athens, OK, or Timon. Secret of good comedy.

Carol and Sarah.

Well, we think the first one is Titus Andronicus.

Antony and Cleopatra.

And King Henry V.

So... But we're going for Troilus and Cressida.

Troilus and Cressida, say Carol and Sarah.

So we have Timon of Athens and Troilus and Cressida.

Simon and David said Timon of Athens. Let's see if that is right.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

17 for Timon of Athens.

Not bad at all.

How is that going to fare against Troilus and Cressida? I wonder.

That's what Carol and Sarah are saying.

Let's see how many people said Troilus and Cressida.

Oh, 36 for Troilus and Cressida.

Very well done indeed, Simon and David.

I suspect that was the best answer on the board.

And after only two questions, you are through to the final, 2-nil.

Yeah, Simon and David, very well done.

Two questions and the best answer on the board both times.

Not a lot they could've done there.

A terrific head-to-head from both teams.

Cos Titus Andronicus would have scored you...

39 points. Antony and Cleopatra...

..would've scored you 85.

And Henry down at the bottom there

would've scored you 60.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round...

I'm afraid, it's Carol and Sarah. Well, you soared into this round

on the back of low scores after low scores.

And then suddenly, Simon and David leapt to the fore there.

Good news for us - we get to see you again next time.

We look forward to that.

Meantime, thanks for playing. Carol and Sarah.

APPLAUSE

But for Simon and David, it is now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Simon and David. You have seen off

all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Wow, what a turnaround!

Last time, we had to say goodbye to you in Round Two, but this time...

We're going to call you the stalking horses of today's show.

But then, suddenly, when it mattered,

in the head-to-head round, 2-nil.

Very impressive indeed.

Anything you'd particularly like to see come up

in this last round?

-Sport, maybe?

-Sport, film. Music perhaps.

-Sport generally...

-Chemistry.

-Chemistry!

-Physics.

-OK.

Well, let's just say science, shall we?

Let's bring biology on board too, shall we? Well, as always,

you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something you like. Today's selection is...

Blimey!

What do you fancy from that lot?

The only thing I can think of is Spanish Sport.

-Yeah, go on.

-We know some Spaniards, we know a bit of sport, so...

We are going to go for Spanish Sport.

-Spanish Sport it is, Richard.

-OK, best of luck, gents.

Three very different questions for you here. We are looking for

any member of the...

Played at Valderrama, that Seve Ballesteros was captain of.

So, any member of that team.

We are looking for any manager who has won

La Liga from the 1983-'84 season

all the way through to 2013, please.

We'll take whoever was in charge at the end of the season

as the winning manager.

Or we are looking for any winners

of the Spanish Formula 1 Grand Prix from 1954 up to 2013, please.

HE REREADS BOARD

Very best of luck.

OK, as always, you've got one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for one of those answers to

be pointless. Are you ready?

-Ready.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK, well, I'd go for Formula 1.

-OK.

I reckon we could probably have a guess on some like...

Jacques Villeneuve, Rubens Barrichello.

-Gilles Villeneuve.

-Gilles Villeneuve, yeah.

-That was his dad, wasn't it?

-Oh, was it? Yeah, Jacques Villeneuve.

Rubens Barrichello. Well, if you've got some football managers...

I know... Bobby Robson, I think, won it with Barcelona.

-Terry Venables with Barcelona.

-Yeah.

And I can't remember the World Cup-winning Spaniard

who was a manager as well.

-Oh, Rafa Benitez, I think, won it with Valencia.

-Did he?

-Yeah.

-Rafa.

We could go... Do you think Rafa Benitez,

-Jacques Villeneuve and...

-Barrichello.

-..Rubens Barrichello?

-Just go for it.

-Or do you want to do one of the Finnish guys?

Hackman or Raikkonen or something like that.

-So, Rubens Barrichello.

-Barrichello.

-Jacques Villeneuve.

-Jacques Villeneuve.

-Ten seconds left.

-And...Rafa Benitez.

-Rafa Benitez, OK.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, let's do it.

OK, well, you seem pretty confident. And your minute is up now.

-OK, Rafa Benitez for the winning managers.

-Rafa Benitez.

And two from the Formula 1, which is Jacques Villeneuve...

Jacques Villeneuve.

-And Rubens Barrichello.

-And Rubens Barrichello.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Rubens.

-Barrichello.

-Rubens Barrichello we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

I think Benitez because quite a lot of people know him.

Rafael Benitez at the top.

Let's pop those answers up on the board in that order.

And here they are.

We have got Rafa Benitez, Jacques Villeneuve and Rubens Barrichello.

Well, very best of luck. Three very good answers up on the board.

Let's hope one of those wins that jackpot for you.

It's not our biggest jackpot ever, but still,

a nice thing to take away home with you, if you are lucky enough to win.

Simon, what would you do with your winnings?

Um, well, my wife and I went on honeymoon to Canada.

And this time we'd like to take our daughter with us

-because we thoroughly loved the country.

-Lovely.

And anything left over, I'd like to get some liquorice allsorts.

-LAUGHTER

-Fair enough.

David, how about you?

Well, I'm thinking of getting a new bike,

one of those newfangled, power-assisted bikes.

-Cos Bristol is a bit hilly, so...

-That's a good idea, yeah.

Some of those steep... That'd be great, wouldn't it?

Well, best of luck. Let's hope one of these answers wins it for you.

Your first answer, the one probably least likely to be pointless,

was Rafa Benitez. We were looking for Spanish League-winning managers.

Let's see how many people said it for £1,000.

Is it pointless?

Well, it's right.

That's the key thing.

Now, if Rafa Benitez can take us all the way down to zero,

you will leave, as I say,

with 1,000 quid in your back pockets.

Down Rafa goes. Through the single figures.

Still go... 5.

APPLAUSE

That's a great score.

Sadly, not a pointless answer, though.

So we move on to your next answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Jacques Villeneuve.

We were looking for any winner of a Spanish Formula 1

Grand Prix since 1954.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless for you to win.

-Are you confident about this one?

-No.

-Bit of a shot in the dark?

-Bit of a punt.

-OK, well, we'll discover if it's right,

then let's see if it's pointless.

If it's both of those things, you will leave with £1,000.

How many people said Jacques Villeneuve?

Well, it was a good guess cos it's right.

Your first answer, Rafael Benitez, took us all the way down to 5.

Jacques Villeneuve now taking us down

through the teens into single figures.

Still going down. Passes 5. Down it goes...

You've done it! Very well done indeed!

Very well done. Fantastic. What an end for the show.

That's superb.

APPLAUSE

Those liquorice allsorts are yours, Simon!

And you'll never have to peddle up another Bristol hill,

what about that? Fantastic.

Jacques Villeneuve was a correct answer and a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £1,000.

Superb play.

Good work, gents.

Yeah, very, very well played.

Won it in 1997, the same year he won his championship.

Rubens Barrichello never won the Spanish Grand Prix,

so he'd have been an incorrect answer. So very well done.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Loads of pointless answers if you know your stuff here.

You could've had Ignacio Garrido,

Jesper Parnevik or Per-Ulrik Johansson.

All of those were pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the Spanish League-winning managers.

Three Dutchmen who managed Barcelona here.

And Raddy Antic, who won with Athletico Madrid.

You also could've had Bernd Schuster, Javier Clemente.

You could've had Jorge Valdano, Leo Beenhakker... Or Tito Vilanova

also a pointless answer there.

Let's take a look at the Grand Prix.

Kimi Raikkonen, who you mentioned in your 60 seconds,

would have been another very good answer.

A few others. Felipe Massa was a pointless answer.

Jochen Mass. Mika Hakkinen also a pointless answer.

Mike Hawthorn and Pastor Maldonado.

Very well done if you got those at home.

Congratulations, gents, you played brilliantly throughout.

Thank you very much indeed.

Thanks, once again, to our winning players, Simon and David,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

-to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.