Episode 46 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a warm welcome to Pointless, the game where we are always

aiming for the lowest score. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hello, my name is Arthur. This is Kerry-Ann.

We're father and daughter and we're from Carlisle in Cumbria.

-Couple number two.

-I'm Alex and this is my friend Sam from Sussex.

And we're both university students from Sheffield.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Pat.

This is my husband, Chris, and we're from Woking in Surrey.

And, finally, couple number four.

I'm Sarah, this is Dom. We're from Dudley and we're friends and colleagues.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, we'll find out more about you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His new aftershave, Osmosis, can be

purchased on any weeknight or weekend day from his garage.

Take it from me, it's pretty alluring.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody. Afternoon.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

-We should do an aftershave.

-Oh, we should.

-Smell of Pointless.

-It'd be quite nice, wouldn't it?

-Yeah. It might be.

-The Red Line by Armstrong.

-Ah!

-It'd be nice, wouldn't it?

We've got three new pairs today, only one pair coming back,

that's Dom and Sarah. And last time they got knocked out in Round Two.

And they joined the 200 Club in Round Two.

Now, Round One today, I think, is a cracker.

Lots of people are going to have fun coming up with answers for Round One.

OK. Well, thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, Nick and Martin didn't win the jackpot last time so we add

another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, I'm just going to remind everyone that the pair

with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

LAUGHTER

Four-letter words.

Four-letter words. Can you decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Four-letter words contain the letter Z, Richard.

We are looking for any four-letter word that has its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary Of English, please, that has the letter Z in it.

We won't accept, as usual, proper nouns, trademarks,

hyphenated words, that sort of thing, but we also won't allow

plurals in this round, otherwise there'd be millions.

Just four-letter words that have Z somewhere - at the front,

in the middle, at the end, wherever you like. Somewhere in there.

Thank you very much. Arthur, welcome to Pointless.

Tell us what you do up in Carlisle. How beautiful, I love Carlisle.

I'm retired now.

I was 32 years a police officer and then I worked for

Cumbria Magistrates' Court Service and the only job I have now,

I work on match days at our local professional football club.

-Carlisle United.

-Carlisle United.

Were you always a fan of Carlisle United?

-I was, indeed, man and boy.

-Lovely.

-That's a lovely job, isn't it?

-It is. I thoroughly enjoy it.

-Wonderful.

-Now, these four-letter words with Z in.

-Yes.

Well, the only one I can think of straight off the top of my head,

and I hope I do this throughout the programme is zeal.

Zeal, says Arthur. Zeal. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said zeal.

It's right.

That is a great answer, Arthur. Very well done indeed.

8 for zeal.

Great energy or enthusiasm, you know the sort of thing.

Or a showbiz seal.

Zeal. It's also the German word for seal.

LAUGHTER

Very good. OK. Now, Alex, welcome. Great to have you here.

What do you do, Alex?

I work as an international students officer in a students' union.

And what does that particularly involve?

So, basically, I got elected at the end of my time at university

to kind of help campaign and represent that group.

Despite my English accent, I'm actually half German.

-Right. So, where did you grow up?

-Not an easy one.

I kind of grew up in the Middle East quite a lot

and then I moved to the Netherlands. And then I came here to study.

Wow. OK.

So, what brought you to Sheffield, particularly, to study, then?

I'm not sure. I think it was quite high up the league tables.

-Well, it's a lovely place.

-Yeah, I'm lucky.

I'm a cyclist and I like the outdoors

so being right on the Peak District is perfect.

Excellent. So, Alex, what are you going to go for?

Well, I can think of a couple but I'm not sure if some of them

are actually legit so I think I'm going to go with daze.

Daze, says Alex. Let's see if daze is right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-31 for daze.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, it's a big scorer.

I think people are terrified in these rounds that things

aren't words, even things that are absolutely self-evidently words.

But, yeah, daze is a fairly hefty scorer, I'm afraid.

OK. Now, Chris, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Chris?

I work for a company that makes software for call centres.

What do you do in your spare time?

I like to play a bit of golf, I play some bridge

and I go to the horse racing.

-Now, how seriously do take your bridge?

-Very seriously.

Over the years I've been my county chairman of the committee

-for five years, as well.

-That's very serious. Which county's that?

-Surrey.

-The Surrey County Chairman.

-Indeed.

But that's also a county where everybody plays bridge.

If you had to pick a county...

Yeah, that would be the hardest one to be chair of, wouldn't it?

After Madison County, that's the biggest one for bridges,

-isn't it?

-Yeah. Yeah.

There we go.

Now, Chris?

Yeah, I'm going to go for a slightly risky one

that I think I remember from my days playing Scrabble. Which is zebu.

-Z-E-B-U.

-Zebu, says Chris.

-Oh, you're pleased with that, aren't you?

-I will be if it's right.

Let's find out if zebu is right, let's see how many people said it.

Excellent.

I think I can feel the jackpot swelling for this.

And down it goes...

-1!

-APPLAUSE

There was one Scrabble player in our 100 there.

-Chris, that's a great score, though, zebu.

-Yeah, well played, Chris.

It's like the dream round for Scrabble players, isn't it?

Because the one thing you need to know in Scrabble is how to pay

your Zs, so Scrabble players know all their Z words and their Q words.

And, zebu, type of ox.

A type of ox.

-Yeah.

-That's nice.

-It is. But it's a killer ox.

Oh, that's nasty.

It's the most bad-tempered animal on the planet.

-Oh, no.

-Yeah, yeah, kills everything in its path.

-Oh, dear.

It's very, very sad for the other wildlife.

-And, yeah, you thought they were cute.

-Well, there we go.

The zebu. ALEXANDER SIGHS

-Now, then. Sarah.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-So, yes, 200 Club last time.

-Yeah.

Let's put that behind us. Let's put that behind us.

Remind us what you do, I'm sorry to bring this up again.

We're admin assistants for the local council.

Which department do you do the admin for?

-BOTH:

-Parking.

So, basically it's fines.

You chase up people who haven't paid their fines.

How long is your shift? I mean, how long...

"I've got to put up with angry people for..." how many hours?

-About eight hours.

-Argh, eight hours?!

What do you then do to get it out of your system?

-Just leaving is good. Just leaving the office.

-That does it?

-Yeah.

Have you ever left and found you've got a ticket?

That would be... That would be frustrating.

Oh, I would be zebu-cross if that happened. I would... Gr-rr!

-What are you going to go for, Sarah?

-I think I'm going to go for haze.

H-A-Z-E.

OK, we've had daze, we've now got haze.

Daze did 31, let's see what haze can do.

-33 for haze.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, another very big scorer, I'm afraid, haze.

There's lots of words here that you'll know that would have scored

a lot less than 33, I promise.

Thank you. Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's look at the scores.

1, the best score of that pass, Chris's zebu.

Very well done, indeed.

Up to 8 where we find Arthur and Kerry-Ann,

then up to 31 where we find Alex and Sam

and then up to 33 where we find Sarah and Dom.

You're the high-scorers now but that might all change.

Dom, we need a nice low-scoring answer from you. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium.

So, Dom,

remember we're looking for any four-letter word

in the Oxford Dictionary Of English that contains one or more Z in it.

Now, Dom, remind us what you do.

-I work with Sarah in parking.

-Exactly the same job.

-Yes.

And what do you do apart from that, Dom?

I've got a dog so I like to walk him a lot and we go

and see a lot of live music, as well.

-Lots of live bands.

-Excellent.

Alter Bridge we discovered last time. A favourite of yours.

-And Avenged Sevenfold is Sarah's.

-Well remembered.

So thrilled that Avenged Sevenfold has come up twice.

Avenged Sevenfold gets a lot of publicity on this show.

Avenged Sevenfold.

Who's your favourite member of Avenged Sevenfold?

-Synyster Gates.

-Synyster Gates?

-Yeah, me, too.

-Synyster Gates.

-Who's your favourite member...?

-Oh, shut up.

No, that's his name. He's called O Shutup. He's the drummer.

My favourite member, I like Zacky Vengeance.

Yeah? Big fan.

-Zacky Vengeance.

-Yeah, Zackary Vengeance.

-Yeah.

-To his mum.

He's Zackary Vengeance III, is Zacky Vengeance.

OK. So, now, Dom,

-you're the high-scorers on 33.

-Mm-hm.

We need something that's going to score low to keep you in the game.

Don't know whether it will score low

but I want it to be right so I'm going to go with zone.

Zone, says Dom. No red line for you as you're the highest-scorers

but let's see how far down the column we go with zone.

-24.

-APPLAUSE

-57, your total.

-Why would someone who works in parking go for zone?

-Where did I get that from?

-Zone, it can be all sorts of things.

Could be a restricted zone, could be a no-parking zone,

could be all sorts of things.

Don't park in it.

OK, thank you very much.

Now, Pat, welcome, great to have you here. What do you do, Pat?

I'm a marketing director for the world's largest theatre group.

So that keeps me busy.

Now, that's fun. Based in London, is that?

Based in London and throughout the UK

and we've just bought the largest theatre on Broadway.

So, we've put in a flag for us Brits on Broadway.

Fantastic. And are you in charge of bringing shows in?

It's more sort of talking to audiences, saying, "Hey,

"this is theatre, come enjoy.

-That's kind of... That's the core of it.

-What seems to be the trend?

Are more people going, are we on an upward trend?

They are. Yeah, absolutely. Year on year, absolutely.

Something like 15 million people come

and see a show just in London alone.

And twice that in the rest of the country.

-So, yeah, it's very healthy.

-Good.

-Well, also very healthy is your score of 1.

-Yes.

Courtesy of Chris/zebu.

If you can score 55 or less

-you are guaranteed a place in the next round.

-OK.

I was going to go for a risky one but I'm not going to.

I'm going for something that's one of my favourite things,

which is fizz.

-Fizz.

-Yeah.

OK, there is your red line. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said fizz.

It's right.

And you're through.

-17.

-APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 18,

the lowest score so far.

Yeah, effervescence, bubbles of gas, or, as you say,

another word for champagne.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Sam, welcome.

-Hi.

Great to have you here, Sam. And what do you do?

I'm currently doing a Masters

in international development at the University of Sussex.

OK, so you left Sheffield, when - last year?

Yeah, I graduated in the summer and then I moved back home.

Moved back home.

Are you living on campus or do you...?

-No, I grew up around there so I live at home.

-Very good.

And what do you do in your spare time, Sam?

I have a bit of a weird, like, unnatural obsession with football,

sort of playing, writing about it, thinking about it, you know.

-OK, so you write, what, you have a blog?

-Kind of, yeah.

-That sort of thing.

-OK.

Listen, there you are. You're on 31.

High-scorers at the moment on 57 are Dom and Sarah

so 25 or less gets you through.

OK, I'm going to go for ooze.

Ooze. Ooze, says Sam. OK, here's your red line.

If you can get below that with ooze you're in Round Two.

Let's see if you can.

Well done. Good answer, there, Sam.

Well done, 12. Takes your total up to 43.

Well played, Sam, absolutely.

To trickle slowly out of something, as in the zebu

watched the blood ooze out of its latest victim.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, then, Kerry-Ann, welcome.

Welcome, what do you do, Kerry-Ann?

Data visualisation of long-term clean energy trends.

LAUGHTER

One more time? Data visualisation...

Data visualisation of long-term clean energy trends.

And is data visualisation the idea of if you present things visually

-they become more easily understandable than...

-Exactly.

Which is amazing.

There's some extraordinary books that just show statistics but in picture form.

That is amazing. When did you start doing it?

-Thank you. Oh...six weeks ago.

-Oh, really? Very, very new.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Wow, and what are you visualising for the next few years?

-All looking good?

-No free time, a lot of work, but good.

-Is the Kerry-Ann graph growing?

-Oh, world domination.

-Good, good.

That was essentially where I was getting to, yes.

-Tomorrow, the world.

-Exactly.

-Good. OK, well, listen,

there you are. You're on 8.

The high score is still Dom and Sarah,

-they're on 57, so 48 or less puts you through.

-OK.

It's a little bit risky because I'm sure out of here,

you would think it was an obvious word

but in here I'm not sure any more. Zany.

-Zany?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Now, there is your red line.

If you get below that, obviously, you are in Round Two.

Let's see how many people said zany..

Well done, you're through. Good answer.

11.

11 takes your total up to 19.

Yeah, very good answer. It comes originally from the clowns

in Italian theatre, and that became zany, somehow,

just that kind of unconventional amusingness.

Have you been thinking of an answer?

I have. I've got one. I think it...

Furz. F-U-R-Z.

I think it's a sort of material, I think?

Well, you can certainly have furze, F-U-R-Z-E, can't you?

That's a very common word.

But F-U-R-Z, I'm afraid, I'm afraid,

-not in the dictionary.

-Oh, no.

-Yeah.

-Oh, no.

-So that's 100 points for you.

-Oh, I'm out. Listen, I am out.

-LAUGHTER

And if you were your own team-mate, do you have another one?

-No, I'm... Zinc? I'll give you zinc, maybe.

-Zinc is not a bad answer.

Zinc would have scored you 22 points.

Well, just about keep me in the game.

Well, no, cos you'd get 122 cos of furz.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, you're right.

Let's take a look...

As I say, haze and daze were both pretty big scorers.

You know, haze was 33. Hazy would have been 13,

would have been a great answer

but there's lots of pointless answers as well. Let's take a look at a few,

and then I'll go through some of the low scorers.

There's some good words around.

Lutz, which figure skating people will know, cos it's a jump.

Orzo, which is a type of pasta.

Oyez, that's how you spell oyez, you know, that a town crier would do.

"Oyez, oyez, oyez." That's O-Y-E-Z.

Phiz, which is another name for the face or the facial expression.

Prez, which is in the dictionary -

it's just a shortened term of president.

A putz, which is... particularly in America,

if you're calling someone a fool, they're a putz.

Ritz is a good answer.

Ziti, that's another type of pasta,

and zizz, to mean to have a short sleep.

Take a look at some smaller... I mean, 2 points for mazy,

2 points for ouzo, which would have been a really good answer.

And czar - of course, there's a way to spell czar, C-Z-A-R.

That's 3 points. Dozy would have scored you 3 points.

Jeez - that would have scored you 4.

We'll take a look at the top three, we've already seen two of them.

These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Daze, the third-biggest scorer of all, 31.

There's haze, 33, and top of the shop, maze, 39.

Thank you very much, Richard. At the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 57,

I'm afraid, Dom and Sarah, that is you.

It was a tough round. You did much better than I did.

-LAUGHTER

-But I'm afraid this is where we have

to say goodbye. It's been great having you on both shows.

Thanks so much for playing, Dom and Sarah.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, three pairs remain. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Well, very well done, Pat and Chris.

Lowest individual score there with zebu,

and lowest combined score, which was excellent.

And then, Arthur and Kerri Anne,

just one up from them, with their combined score of 19,

and then up to Alex and Sam, who were a little bit lucky there.

But best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

It's Famous People. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Mononyms. Richard?

Yeah, we're going to give you six clues on each pass, to famous people,

real or fictional, who are usually known by just one name - a mononym.

You just have to tell us who they are, please.

Give us the most obscure answer, score the fewest points.

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at, at home.

OK, so what's the single name by which these people are known?

Here's our first board of six...

I'll read those all one last time.

Arthur, over to you.

I'll choose, please, King of the Franks, and I'll say Charlemagne.

Charlemagne, says Arthur. Let's see if Charlemagne's right,

and let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Good answer, Arthur - 9.

Great start to the round.

Well played, Arthur, the first Holy Roman Emperor, Charlemagne.

-His dad was called Pippin the Short.

-Pippin the Short?

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

-Sam...

-Hi.

What are you going to go for?

I'm struggling a bit, to be honest,

but I think the singer who released Kiss From A Rose is Seal.

Seal, says Sam. Let's see if Seal is right,

and let's see how many people said Seal.

He's right.

52 for Seal. Big score there.

Yeah, 52, and the nice thing is,

also, we know what his name is in German.

-Yes.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Pat, the board's all yours.

Talk us through it if you can.

Erm, well, I think the Brazilian footballer is Pele.

The Indian nationalist leader is Gandhi.

Erm, the American talk-show host is Oprah, I think,

and I'm completely doubting my sanity, having read Moby Dick,

whether to risk going for the narrator of it.

So I might be a coward and play safe, and say Oprah.

Oprah, says Pat.

For fun, tell us what you would have said.

Erm...I would have said Ishmael.

Let's see what Oprah scores.

Let's see how money people said Oprah.

It's right. Well, 52 is our highest score,

and you pass it.

34 for Oprah. Very well done.

You see, it is interesting

-what Pointless does to the brain, isn't it?

-Mmm.

Cos you know them, but what are

the first three words of Moby Dick?

-Are "Call me Ishmael."

-"Call me Ishmael."

Yeah, so it is Ishmael, would have scored you 7 points.

Best answer on the board, Ishmael. But you... Your brain, you know,

your brain doesn't trust itself sometimes, when you're up there.

People don't understand that, I think. You're right about Pele.

He'd have been a big scorer, would have scored you 57,

and you were right about Gandhi as well.

Would have scored you slightly fewer - would have scored you 48.

Thanks, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores. 9, the best score of the pass,

Well done, Arthur. Arthur and Kerry-Ann looking very strong

at this point. Then, up to 34, where we find Pat and Chris.

And 52, Sam and Alex.

So, Alex, let's hope there's a really good answer

on that board you know, and you can score as low as you can

and maybe that'll keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board, and here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Chris.

Well, there's a couple up there I think I know.

Erm, a few of them, I think will be quite big scores as well,

so I think I'm going to punt for the eponymous hero of

the comic book about a Gaulish village resisting Roman rule,

-and I think it's Asterix.

-Asterix, says Chris.

You want to be scoring 17 or less with that.

Here's your Red Line. Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

29 for Asterix.

63, your total.

Yeah, good answer.

In 2013 in France, Asterix was the only book that outsold the...

-the Fifty Shades trilogy.

-Thanks very much, indeed, Richard.

Now, Alex, there you are. You're on 52.

The high-scorers, on 63 at the moment, are Pat and Chris.

If you can score 10 or less, you're in the head-to-head.

I know a few of them and I know I have to score low,

so I'm going to go for something that I think I remember

from a module all the way back in first year,

and the Greek classical philosopher, I believe is Socrates.

Socrates, says Alex. Socrates. Here's your Red Line.

If Socrates can get you below that Red Line,

you are in the head-to-head. Let's see if it can.

Oh, I'm sorry, Alex. I'm afraid, an incorrect answer there,

scoring you 100 points, takes your total to 152.

-Sorry.

-Sorry, Alex, not a bad try

but I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much, indeed.

Now, then, Kerry-Ann,

the board is all yours and you are through to the next round,

by the way. Do you want to talk us through the board?

Erm, I'll try. The English singer, I believe, is Morrissey.

I know nothing about wrestling.

I think the Greek philosopher was Plato.

Erm, it's Houdini,

and I can't remember for the life of me

the name of the hunchback of Notre Dame.

I'm going to play it safe and say...

Morrissey, because that's all we need to do.

OK, Morrissey, let's see how many people said Morrissey.

No Red Line, you're already through.

It's right.

50.

59, your total. Lowest total of the round.

Yeah, well played. It's all you had to do.

And Plato is the right answer, actually. Plato was the student of

Socrates, so not a bad answer, but it was Plato who founded the Academy.

Would have been a good answer - would have scored you 22 points.

The...the escapologist was Houdini.

Would have scored you 29.

Now, the fictional hunchback, you will know it...

It's Quasimodo.

Would have scored you 45,

and the best answer on the board is the wrestler, and that is Kane.

Well done if you said Kane, at home - would have scored you 12 points.

Thanks very much, indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of

152, Alex and Sam. I'm so sorry.

So nearly right, there, but good news,

we get to see you again next time. We look forward to that.

Meantime, thanks very much, Alex and Sam.

But for Pat and Chris, Arthur and Kerry-Ann,

it's now time for the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Arthur and Kerry-Ann, Pat and Chris, you're now

one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £3,500.

CHEERING

This has been so close.

So, yes, and now you can put your heads together and play as teams.

I think it's going to be very hard to separate you.

It's going to be very close, indeed.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

The Limericks of Edward Lear. Richard?

Yeah, we're going to show you the first two lines

of a series of limericks by Edward Lear,

but we've left out a place name in each of them.

Can you fill in the place names, please?

OK, let's reveal our limericks with missing place names,

and here they are. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we go. Now, Arthur and Kerry-Ann,

you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

I've no idea. I think just pick one.

It's got to be something rhyming, hasn't it?

We really don't know. We're guessing.

We're thinking of places that rhyme with the second line,

and we're going to say there was an old person of Gretna,

who rushed down the crater of Etna.

Gretna, say Arthur and Kerry-Ann.

Gretna. Now, Pat and Chris, talk us through that board.

-Well, I think we're much in the same boat.

-Yeah.

I wouldn't say that any of them we knew,

but we've got guesses for most of them.

We also had Gretna for Etna.

Erm, there was a young lady of Wales,

we were thinking was a possibility.

Perhaps Dorking, to ring with walking?

At the bottom, perhaps Turkey to rhyme with murky.

It's... As I say, it's very much guesswork.

The one we're going to go for is the fourth one down,

and hope that the old man, in this case,

-came from Calcutta.

-Calcutta, say Pat and Chris.

Calcutta, so we have Gretna versus Calcutta.

Arthur and Kerry-Ann went for Gretna - let's see if that's right

and let's see how many people said it.

-Oh...

-It's right.

Good answer. 22.

22 for Gretna.

Meanwhile, Pat and Chris have gone for Calcutta.

Let's see if Calcutta is right,

and let's see how many people said that.

It is right.

Will it beat 22?

Yes, it will.

Down it goes to 10. Very well done, indeed.

Calcutta, 10.

Pat and Chris, you've nicked it.

-After one question, you're up 1-0.

-Yeah, well played.

I think, between you, you got all of them.

There was a young lady of Wales

who caught a large fish without scales -

that would have scored you 59.

And there was a young lady of Dorking - quite right -

who bought a large bonnet for walking.

Would have scored 38. And there

was a young lady of Turkey who wept

when the weather was murky,

which would have scored 44.

Thank you very much, indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Arthur and Kerry-Ann,

you have to win this one to stay in the game,

so best of luck. It concerns...

The Colour White. Richard?

Yeah, we're going to show you five clues now,

the answers to which all contain the word white somewhere in them.

-Can you tell us what the answers are, please?

-OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five clues and here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Pat and Chris will go first this time.

-OK.

We think we know some of them.

Erm...

Probably the one we're going to

go for is the Victorian novel...

-A Woman In White.

-A Woman In White, say Pat and Chris.

Now, then, Arthur and Kerry-Ann.

Erm...

It's bad that we have no idea

what Breaking Bad is, sorry.

Garage rock duo is White Stripes.

The noise is white noise,

but we're going to go with

the Golden Girls,

-which is the fabulous Betty White.

-Betty White.

So, we have The Woman In White, and we have Betty White.

The Woman In White, said Pat and Chris -

let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-27.

Arthur and Kerry-Ann,

meanwhile, have gone for Betty White. Let's see if that's right,

and let's see how many people said Betty White.

It's right.

Well done. Wins you the points. You've broken back.

Arthur and Kerry-Ann, back in the game,

after two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, well played. One answer that would have beaten Betty White,

and that is the Breaking Bad one - Bryan Cranston plays Walter White.

Would have scored you 5 points.

The garage rock duo, as you say, is White Stripes,

would have scored you 25,

and white noise is the biggest scorer of all, with 61.

Thank you very much, indeed. OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for

that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

-Classic Brit Awards, Richard.

-We're going to show you the names

of five people now who have won a classic or classical Brit,

but we've removed alternate letters from their names.

Can you tell us who they are, please?

OK, let's reveal our five classic Brit Award winners,

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Arthur and Kerry-Ann will go first.

(The second one's Nigel Kennedy, but I don't know any of the others.)

(Simon...Simon Rattle.)

Erm, we're going to go for the middle one,

which we believe could be Simon Rattle.

Simon Rattle, say Arthur and Kerry-Ann.

Pat and Chris, talk us through the rest of the board, if you can.

Bit of a big ask, I think. Erm...

We think it's Nigel Kennedy,

and yeah, absolutely, Simon Rattle.

Ian somebody, possibly, at the bottom.

And I think, but I could be wrong, but...so it's a point.

Is it Cecilia Bartoli?

Cecilia Bartoli, say Pat and Chris. Cecilia Bartoli.

So, we have Simon Rattle and Cecilia Bartoli. Arthur and Kerry-Ann

said Simon Rattle. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

20.

-It's going to be close.

-It'll be close.

20 for Simon Rattle.

Now, then, Pat and Chris have gone for Cecilia Bartoli.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how many people said it.

It's right. Very, very well done, indeed, Pat and Chris.

Cecilia Bartoli wins you the point and gets you into the final.

-Takes you down to 2.

-CHEERING

-That's a great answer.

-Where did that come from?

All of which means, Pat and Chris, after three questions,

you're through to the final, 2-1. Very well done.

Yeah, best answer up there, actually. Couldn't have beaten it.

-The top one is the Welsh singer Bryn Terfel.

-Bryn Terfel.

Would have scored you nine points.

You're right about Nigel Kennedy - but he would have scored you 40.

-Do you know the bottom one?

-Ian Bostridge.

Ian Bostridge, the English tenor, and he would have scored you 3 points.

Thanks very much, indeed. So the pair leaving us

at the end of the head-to-head round,

our low-scorers, Arthur and Kerry-Ann.

I'm sorry that we have to say goodbye to you

but that was a very, very exciting head-to-head,

as I knew it would be. Great news for us,

we get to see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that very much.

Meantime, thanks very much for playing, Arthur and Kerri-Ann.

But for Pat and Chris, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Pat and Chris.

You've fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,500.

CHEERING

As you know, in this last round, you get to choose your category

from the four we put up on the board, so let's hope

there's something up there we like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this...

There's nothing there that jumps out at me as being a favourite.

-What's your inkling?

-I guess, for me,

it would be Merseyside Sounds, would probably the one.

How strong are you on Merseyside Sounds?

I can name a couple of Beatles albums.

If it's those, we've got a chance.

Go on, then. Go for Merseyside Sounds.

-Sounds like Merseyside Sounds.

-Merseyside Sounds, it is. Richard?

OK, good luck. We're looking for any top 75 single by any

of the following bands up to the beginning of April 2014.

We are looking for...

So, top 75 singles by Gerry And The Pacemakers,

Echo And The Bunnymen, or The Lightning Seeds. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed. So, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Think so.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, I don't know any Echo And The Bunnymen, so they're out.

Gerry and the pacemakers, I know Ferry Cross The Mersey,

but The Lightning Seeds... Didn't they do Life Of Riley?

-Life of Riley. They did, they did.

-What else do they do?

-Yeah.

I'm sure we had a greatest hits album of theirs at some point.

-Erm...

-Think, think.

-Erm...

-I really don't know...

-..unfortunately.

-What else did they do?

Gerry And The Pacemakers, do we know anything else?

-So, Ferry Cross The Mersey would be the first one.

-Yeah.

Did they do any covers?

-Covers of anything?

-Don't remember any others immediately.

-My Way?

-I know they had the first three number ones, didn't they?

All their first three singles went to number one,

but I can't remember what the other two were.

Erm...

-I can't remember.

-I can't remember them either.

I don't know.

Erm...

10 seconds left.

OK, Lightning Seeds.

-We'll just have to make one up for Lightning Seeds.

-I don't know.

-Yeah, I don't know.

-No. I don't know.

-Unfortunately...

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

I think we're going to go for Ferry Cross The Mersey...

-Ferry Cross The Mersey.

-..by Gerry And The Pacemakers.

-Yup.

-And for The Lightning Seeds,

-we'll take The Life Of Riley.

-The Life Of Riley.

And we're a bit stuck for the last one, so we'll make one up

and say Green for The Lightning Seeds.

Green for The Lightning Seeds. OK, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

The Life Of Riley is going to be the best one.

-I'm guessing we might put Green first.

-The best choice, yes.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board

in that order, then, and here they are. We've got...

Well, very best of luck. Three good...

Well, two good answers up there.

No, three good answers,

they just may not all be right. That's the point.

If you were to win that jackpot today - £3,500, nice jackpot -

what would you do with it, Pat?

We went to Japan last year, in the typhoon season.

It wasn't actually meant to be the typhoon season but it was, but we...

I had an absolutely fantastic time, so we'd love to go back

and that's what...

I'd probably do is just kind of blow it

on a really lovely holiday there.

Lovely. Chris, anything else you want to add to that?

I'm just hoping she'll take me with her.

-Excellent, OK, well, best of luck.

-I think I would.

Your first answer, and we were looking in this case,

for UK top 75 singles by The Lightning Seeds. Green, you said.

Let's just see if that's right.

Let's leave it at that.

-No.

-Surprise.

Not Green, not a pointless answer.

However, we now move into the realm of proper answers.

Your next answer was Ferry Cross the Mersey.

In this case, we were looking for Gerry And The Pacemakers singles.

Let's see if that's right. If it's pointless, you will win £3,500.

How many people said Ferry Cross The Mersey?

It's right.

Your first answer, Green, unsurprisingly, an incorrect answer,

but Ferry Cross The Mersey,

now taking us down through the 40s, into the 30s...

-33.

-APPLAUSE

Well, it was right. At least it was right.

33.

So everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

The Life Of Riley.

In this case, we're back on Lightning Seeds singles.

Let's see if that's right. If it is pointless, it will win you £3,500.

How many people said The Life Of Riley?

It's right.

So, your first answer, Green, was incorrect.

Your second answer, Ferry Cross The Mersey, took us down to 33.

Your third and final answer, Life Of Riley,

now taking us into single figures...

-Down here... It's a 9.

-Well, we got single figures.

Well...

Erm, sadly, no pointless answers among the three, though,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500.

That will roll over onto the next show,

but we've really enjoyed having you on the show.

and thank you so much for playing,

-Pat and Chris.

-Thank you.

-Great contestants.

Yeah, I think probably the wrong category choice there.

That's unlucky. Let's take a look at the pointless answers

in the different categories. We'll start with Gerry And The Pacemakers.

I'll Be There, I'm The One - that was the number two hit -

It's Gonna Be All Right and Walk Hand In Hand.

Those were the only four pointless answers there.

Loads and loads of pointless answers for Echo And The Bunnymen.

Bring On The Dancing Horses -

lots of people at home would have got - Lips Like Sugar.

They had a great comeback single with Nothing Lasts Forever -

it was a pointless answer. The Back Of Love. In fact,

everything apart from The Killing Moon, People Are Strange,

The Cutter, Silver, and Never Stop, every single other

Echo And The Bunnymen single was a pointless answer.

Erm, The Lightning Seeds...

Love the lightning seeds. Life's Too Short was a pointless answer,

Ready Or Not, Sense was a pointless answer, as well - a great song.

What If was a pointless answer. Also, Sweetest Soul Sensations

and What You Say - those were all pointless answers.

-Well done if you said any of those at home.

-Thanks, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Pat and Chris,

but it's been fantastic having you on the show.

-Thank you both for playing, Pat and Chris.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Well, sadly they didn't win our jackpot today, which means it

rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £4,500.

CHEERING

Join us next time - see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE