Episode 45 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the game where we aim for the obscure

and ignore the obvious. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

I'm Shaun and this is my partner Sarah from down in Torquay.

Couple number two.

I'm Jon, this is my brother Tom, and we're from lovely Burnham-On-Sea.

Couple number three.

I'm Sarah, this is Dom.

We're from Dudley and we're friends and colleagues.

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Martin, this is my friend Nick,

and we're from Chapel-en-le-Frith in the High Peak of Derbyshire.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout

the show as it goes along. That just leaves one more person

for me to introduce, a man so clever, he once figured out

how to set the clock on my oven.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Afternoon. Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-I wonder if there's anyone in the world who genuinely

resets the clock on their oven.

You know when the hours go forward or back?

I am honestly happy to be an hour out for six months.

But when the clocks go forward again, you think, "Lovely,

-"the time on my oven is right."

-"We're back to normal."

-It's a relief, isn't it? Are you well?

-I am very well, thank you.

Excellent. Lovely show last time. We got two pairs coming back from that.

We've got Shaun and Sarah, who got knocked out in the first round.

Shaun went for his own hometown team of Torquay United and they weren't

as successful as he'd hoped, unfortunately.

It's the kind of thing that happens. And there's Tom and Jon, and Tom

is responsible for some of the money in our jackpot, gave us a pointless

answer in the last show, so that's impressive credentials

-to carry into this show.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Well, Steve and Lorraine didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off at...

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of each

round will be eliminated,

so do what you can to make sure that's not your pair.

Our first category today is...

Pop music. Can you decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

Colourful songs. Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you the names of seven UK hit

singles, all of which have a colour in their title, but we've

removed those colours, so can you tell us what they are?

Going to be 14 colours to have a go at at home,

so very best of luck.

What are the missing colours from these song titles?

Here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Shaun, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do.

I'm a business development manager for injection moulders.

That's right, and in your spare time, Shaun, what amuses

and delights you?

Well, the little spare time we get cos we got two young kids,

erm, to be fair, I like to sit in a room with four walls and relax.

-Erm, but...

-Is it crucial to have that fourth wall?

SHAUN LAUGHS

-Yes.

-OK.

-Erm, but, yeah, except for that, you know,

I like to watch a lot of TV, films...

-I do play a lot of sport as well, so.

-Good stuff.

Now, what about that board of missing colours behind me?

Yes, erm...

I'll go for something simple to start off with,

so I'll just pick Red Wine, Elkie Brooks.

OK, Red Wine, says Shaun, for Elkie Brooks.

Let's see if Red Wine's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Noooo!

-I'm afraid...

-It's not Red Wine?

-Not Red Wine. Sarah...

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Oh, man, I'm having a nightmare!

-..can't contain herself.

I'm afraid Elkie Brooks didn't sing about red wine, though.

-That's going to cost you 100 points.

-Sorry, Shaun, another Torquay United

of an answer there, I'm afraid.

You've got to be so careful when choosing wine, haven't you?

-Yes, of course.

-Yes, you have.

So, Tom, welcome back.

-Remind us about yourself, Tom.

-Erm...

I'm 28 years old and I live in Burnham-On-Sea in Somerset.

-And you work in the world of fashion.

-Work in...

Yeah, fashion retail. I can fold a T-shirt pretty quickly.

How many seconds? Seriously. For chefs, it's how long

-to cook an omelette.

-Like, a little technique, sort of...

I would say less than two seconds from holding it.

And that's a professional fold. Someone else from the fraternity,

the sorority of fashion, would see that and know

-that had been done properly.

-For sure.

-Whenever I... If ever you

pick up a T-shirt or something in those shops, I always try

and re-fold because I think it's polite to. But sometimes you must

-go through piles and go, "Oof. Who's tried to fold that?"

-Yeah.

-Cos I'm not doing it as well as you.

-Sometimes people have a go

and it's often they... It's best they just leave it.

Sometimes you just have to buy it cos you're so embarrassed

about not being able to fold it.

Oh, dear. Now, Tom,

Shaun has very decently taken a bit of pressure off you there.

-Thank you, Shaun.

-What are you going to go for on this board?

I think I know a few, but again, I'm going to try and play it quite safe.

-Mm.

-And I think I'm going for Blue Monday.

Blue Monday, New Order, says Tom.

Let's see if that's right, Blue Monday. How many people said 'blue'?

Well, it's right.

60.

It's a whole lot better than 100.

Yeah, very good answer.

It comes from a quote, or an illustration,

in Breakfast Of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut.

-Goodbye Blue Monday.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Dom,

-welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Dom?

-I'm an admin assistant for the council.

-For the council up in Dudley?

-Yes.

-Can I ask which department of the council?

-No.

-I'm too embarrassed.

-Oh, you're too embarrassed.

-They haven't forbidden you.

-No.

Oh, we've got to play a game of what department is it, then.

LAUGHTER

-So, what would you be embarrassed about?

-Parking.

-Parking?

-Maybe.

LAUGHTER

Oh, Dom, I'm sorry. Dom, what are your interests?

I like to go and see a lot of live music, mainly.

-I like to go and see bands.

-Who's your favourite band?

-Alter Bridge.

-Alter Bridge.

-Mm.

-Alter Bridge.

Have you heard of Alter Bridge?

-They sound sort of quite goth-y.

-Yeah, I'm thinking...

-Is it 'alter' with an 'A'?

-Not gothic, no. Metal...maybe.

-Mee-yah.

-Goth-metal. Sisters Of Mercy, that sort.

In our day, that would've been called gothic-metal.

Dom, what are you going to go for on this board?

I'm going to go with one of my favourites,

-which is Jimi Hendrix and Purple Haze.

-Purple Haze, says Dom.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 said Purple Haze.

It's absolutely right. Well, 60...

Ooh, jee-yah!

I was about to say, 60's our high score.

73. Still, a correct answer.

It is a correct answer, yeah, but a big score.

Everyone in the Midlands loves metal, don't they?

Heavy metal is huge in the Midlands, always has been, for years.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Martin, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

-From Chapel in the Firth?

-No, Chapel-en-le-Frith.

-Chapel...

-The old Norman...

-On-le-Frith?

-Yeah.

-Chapel in the clearing in the woods.

-So, we'll know how to find it.

That's great.

LAUGHTER

-Martin, what do you do at Chapel-en-le-Frith?

-Currently...

I retired from the police four and a half years ago

and I now sort of volunteer for Derbyshire Wildlife Trust.

I've learnt to church bell ring in the last four years.

-That's interesting. So, weddings and festivals.

-Yeah, we do weddings.

We've done... Yeah.

We rang for the Jubilee a couple of years back, for the Olympics...

OK, so, Martin, what are you going to go for?

-This board is all yours, so feel free to talk us through it.

-Right.

It's 99 Red Balloons, it's Brown Sugar, it's White Riot,

but the one I'm going to go for sounds a lot less palatable

-than the one that Shaun mentioned. It's Lilac Wine.

-Lilac Wine.

Lilac Wine. Is it right and, if it is, how many people said it?

It is absolutely right, of course.

Wow. There we are. Eight.

Very authoritative score there on the far podium.

-Very well done, Martin.

-Great answer, Martin. Well played.

There's a couple of very interesting covers.

Jeff Buckley does a cover of it,

which is as beautiful as you'd imagine. It's a really lovely song.

But Miley Cyrus does a surprisingly good cover version of it as well.

You know, if you like that sort of thing. Let's have a look at the rest.

You went through very nicely apart from one of them there,

which is the hardest one. 99 Red Balloons, exactly right.

84 points for that. That's a big score. Brown Sugar by The Stones.

Would've scored you 63. The Clash, it was White Riot, as you say.

Would've scored you 20. You absolutely picked the best one

of the ones you knew. But the best answer up there,

it is Crimson And Clover

by Joan Jett And The Blackhearts, and would've scored you seven points.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores

as they stand. Eight, well done indeed, Martin.

That puts you and Nick in a very strong position.

Then way up to 60, where we find Tom and Jon.

73, Dom and Sarah M.

Up to 100, Shaun and Sarah P.

So, Sarah P, who knows what's going to happen in the next pass?

What we very definitely need from you is a low score.

Best of luck. Going back down the line now. Can the second players

please step up to the podium?

OK, so let's put seven more songs up on the board

and here they are without their colours.

I'll read those one last time.

Nick, remember, we are looking for the missing colour from these song

titles and you're going to try and fine the one you think the fewest

-of our 100 people knew. Nick, welcome.

-Thank you.

And what do you do up there in...?

Hang on a minute... On-le-Frith? Erm...

-Chapel.

-Chapel-on-le Frith.

-I'm retired.

-What did you used to do?

-I used to be a civil servant.

In that area, in Derbyshire?

I worked at Manchester airport and then I went to work abroad.

So, you were on Border Control, does that mean, or...?

That's right, yes, I was.

And what do you do now with your retirement?

I do volunteer work for National Trust, Lyme Park stately home

nearby. I do volunteer driving, I'm a befriender, I belong to a choir...

Nick, there you are. You're on eight, thanks to Martin's excellent

answer in the first pass. If you can score 91 or less,

-you are definitely into Round Two.

-OK.

I'd like to got for Harry Belafonte and Scarlet Ribbons.

Scarlet Ribbons, says Nick.

There's your scarlet ribbon.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Scarlet Ribbons.

It's right and you're through.

That's a great answer.

Very well done indeed, Nick. Three for Scarlet Ribbons,

taking your total up to 11,

-the lowest total of the round, I can say.

-Yeah, very well done.

Another song that's been covered many times, Scarlet Ribbons.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Sarah M,

welcome to the show. Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Sarah?

I work with Dom in parking.

Oh, well, that cat's out the bag now, isn't it?

Do you answer the phones at all?

HE GASPS

Ooh.

-Are you trained in calming people down?

-We are, yeah.

-And how successful are you generally?

-99% of the time, I think.

Sarah, what are your interests aside from parking?

Same as Dom,

we go to the same gigs together, and I like watching films and sport.

Do you have the same taste in music as Dom? Who's your favourite band?

Avenged Sevenfold.

-See, we do like Avenged Sevenfold.

-We do!

Because they were an answer the other day

and Xander was very excited about the name.

I think it's a brilliant name, isn't it?

Avenged Sevenfold.

How many folds do you do in a T-shirt, Tom?

-Is it seven, more or less?

-You can't do seven.

-Well, there could be voom, voomp and maybe a...

-Oh, yeah, I suppose.

-Three.

-Three.

-T-shirt, threefold, Avenged Sevenfold.

Avenged is winning. Sarah, what are you going to go for? You're on 73.

The high scorers are Sarah P and Shaun on 100,

so 26 or less gets you into the next round for sure.

I think I'm going to for the bottom one - Black And Gold, Sam Sparro.

Black And Gold, says Sarah M, for Sam Sparro. There's your red line.

Get below that, you are through to the next round.

57.

Might be enough to see you through. Who knows? 130 is your total.

That's a big score, I think, for that song.

He's an Australian singer and producer, Sam Sparro.

It was a huge hit, and quite recent, I suppose.

-Well, thanks very much indeed. Now, Jon, welcome back.

-Thank you.

We discovered last time that you work in hairdressing.

Gentlemen's and ladies' hairdressing.

How big is your hairdresser's shop?

It's an old Victorian building that's been converted,

it's actually a really nice building.

We've still got all the rooms, so we do colours upstairs,

-we've got a washroom, reception, yeah.

-Do you do shaves?

We don't do shaves, no.

Sorry. Well...

-I could try, but...

-LAUGHTER

It's fun, though.

I've only ever had it done once before, but it was brilliant.

-Mmm.

-You get lots of flannels, hot towels.

They teach you to shave on a balloon.

They put shaving cream on a balloon and you have to not pop the balloon.

When you get the cream off without popping it,

that's how they teach you.

-The person who shaved me wouldn't have passed that test!

-LAUGHTER

But anyway, it was still nice, it was a good experience.

Jon, and your interests aside from hair?

Erm...

Football and film, I'd say are the two good ones.

-OK, and how are we feeling about this board?

-Not good.

-OK.

-There was only two that I know and one of them's gone.

The other one's going to be quite a high answer, I'm thinking.

69 or less is what you need to score.

I'm going to go for, cos I've heard it sung at the football

a fair few times, Hi Ho Silver Lining.

Silver Lining. Silver Lining, says Jon. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Silver.

There is your red line.

It's right.

Ooh, 87, Jon.

APPLAUSE

87 takes your total up to 147.

That's a really big score. You're quite right,

quite often sung at the football.

Any player or team with four syllables fits in very

nicely to the Silver Lining bit of it.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Sarah P...

Mmm...

-Remind us what you do.

-I'm a nurse.

-And also pretty full-time mum.

-Yes.

-Two young children.

-Very young, yeah.

-Yes.

What are your interests aside? Do they take in songs

with colours in their titles?

-Not these songs!

-No...

Erm...

Yeah.

Well, if it helps, you want to be scoring 46 or less.

I'm going to go with...

a guess...

with Fade To Grey.

Fade to Grey for Visage.

Fade To Grey, says Sarah. There's your red line.

If you get below that with Fade To Grey, you're into Round Two.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Fade To Grey.

It's right.

And you go through, just! Look at that, 43!

APPLAUSE

143 your total there.

Jon and Tom on their way out, that's a shocking Round One, isn't it?

Very well played, Fade To Grey.

Must have been somewhere in your head because it'd be a random one to guess at.

Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew Fade To Grey.

Now, there's Red Dress by the Sugababes.

Would have scored you 61.

Another big scorer for the Psychedelic Furs, Pretty In...

-Pink?

-Absolutely, yeah, big scorer.

Again, lots of big scorers on this board. 73 points.

A low scorer here, though, and a beautiful song,

A Pair Of Brown Eyes by The Pogues...

would have scored you 10 points.

So Scarlet is the best answer on that board, very well played.

Thanks very much. So at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with their high score of 147,

I'm so sorry, Jon and Tom.

Oh, very much against the grain, I think.

It's really sad to be saying goodbye to you far too soon.

I'm sure you had a lot more Pointless in you,

but I'm afraid that...

That's the end of the road for you I'm afraid, Jon and Tom.

We have to say goodbye.

Great to have you on both shows. Thanks for playing, Jon and Tom.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

Nick and Martin, very well done.

Lowest individual scorers in that round and,

of course, lowest combined score.

Dom and Sarah, quite a lot higher score than them,

but still not our highest score by any means because Shaun...

I think it's my duty to tell you,

you've given two answers on Pointless...

Both of which have scored 100.

-LAUGHTER

-Yes, indeed.

-Yeah.

-I think time to step up to the plate, Shaun.

-Very true.

-OK.

Well, best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

World Geography, Shaun.

-LAUGHTER

-Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

As many countries on the same longitude as the UK as they could.

Countries on the same longitude as the UK.

Yeah, it's an interesting one, this. You have to picture something in your mind.

You're looking for any country which has any part of its mainland territory

due south of the UK, due south of any part of the UK.

Any country of the world, and as always, by "country"

we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed. So, yes.

Countries on the same longitude as the UK.

Er, Shaun?

Yeah, geography's not my strongest point.

-LAUGHTER

-Ah!

-So...

I'm going to have to come up with something there.

Right, OK... Erm...

I'll pick...

Paraguay.

SARAH P CHUCKLES

LAUGHTER

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

I love watching your face

when Shaun gives an answer!

LAUGHTER

It's the way you look away to the side!

Er, Paraguay.

Maybe I shouldn't have tried to go for a low one.

LAUGHTER

-Maybe, maybe.

-Paraguay. Well, maybe.

-Maybe.

-Listen, it's a country.

-LAUGHTER

-Exactly.

Erm... Let's find out if it...

-HE LAUGHS

-..if it's right. Paraguay.

HE CHUCKLES

No.

LAUGHTER

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, Shaun, good on you.

300 and counting!

-That...

-LAUGHTER

That scores you 100 points, Shaun.

Yeah, if you get on a plane in the UK and fly directly south,

and then you get off in Paraguay, while you've been up in the air,

something terrible has happened to the Earth.

Something genuinely awful.

It's... It's not due south, I'm sorry.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Sarah M.

I have no idea. Erm...

South Africa?

South Africa.

South Africa, says Sarah M.

Let's see if it's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said South Africa.

No...

I'm afraid not correct. Scores you 100 points.

Yeah, sorry. It's better than Paraguay, I'll give you that. LAUGHTER

-But not a correct answer, I'm afraid.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Martin...

Over to you.

Yes, very tricky.

Erm...

MARTIN SIGHS

Er, I think I'm going to try Ghana.

Ghana, says Martin.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Ghana.

It's right.

Well done, Martin, Ghana is absolutely right.

Down we go...

to four, good answer.

APPLAUSE

Great score.

That's a terrific answer, Martin, very well played.

Used to be called Ghana-en-le-Frith.

LAUGHTER

So it did.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Four, Martin, very well done.

Martin and Nick once again looking pretty strong at this point.

Then Sarah M and Dom and Shaun and Sarah P are tied on 100.

So yes, Dom and Sarah P,

it's going to be between the pair of you, best of luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Remember, we're looking for any country

that's on the same longitude as the UK.

So, Nick,

what are you going to go for?

I'm also going to go for a country in Africa, which I hope is right,

-and that's Libya.

-Libya, says Nick.

Let's see how far down the column you get with that.

There's your red line, nice and high.

Bad luck, not Libya.

That's going to score you 100 points, takes your total up to 104.

Yeah, Libya's sort of on the same longitude as South Africa, really,

just at the top of the continent.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now then, Dom.

Dom...

-How good is your world geography?

-Er...

-Not good.

-Is this going to be a case of

-just pin the tail on the donkey, do we think?

-Yeah.

-I'm going to go for Belgium.

-Belgium...

-Yeah.

-..says Dom. Belgium. Here's your red line - quite low.

You want to be scoring three or less.

Let's see how many said Belgium, is it right?

No...

Belgium is an incorrect answer, 100 points,

takes your total up to 200.

Sorry, Dom, that is as close as you can be while still being wrong,

though, I have to say. It's literally just...

Just off the edge.

OK, now, Sarah P,

-it comes down to you.

-OK.

You have a target, 99 or less.

-SHE EXHALES

-Nice high score.

-OK.

-Essentially, just has to be right.

-OK.

I'm going to go with France.

LAUGHTER

Sarah P has gone with France. Hasn't gone to South America.

Has just gone with France.

There is your red line. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with France.

Yes!

Very well done indeed, 70.

-Fine.

-APPLAUSE

170 is your total.

You are in the head-to-head.

Well done, Sarah. That's the way to do it.

Blimey, Shaun, you're in a head-to-head!

LAUGHTER

-You wouldn't believe it, would you?

-How about this?

-Lovely to have you there.

-Yeah!

There's only one pointless answer and that's Liberia. Terrific answer if you said that.

You would have got one for Mauritania, Burkina Faso and Benin.

You would have got two for Togo, three for Guinea,

four for Niger, and Ghana, seven for Cote D'Ivoire,

ten for Mali and Algeria, and 25 for Morocco.

But there's two low scorers that aren't in Africa -

one is Andorra, which would have scored you three.

And there's one very, very obvious answer,

cos obviously it's any part of the UK you can be south of -

Republic of Ireland would have scored you two points.

How about that for an answer?

Brilliant.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our second round, the pair heading home

with their high score of 200, I'm afraid it's Dom and Sarah M.

Well, that was a very tough round.

-Yeah, geography's not...

-The Republic of Ireland!

-Sounds easy now.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

But, yes, it evaded our 100 as well.

See you again next time, we look forward to that,

but meantime, thanks for playing, Dom and Sarah.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, it's time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations Nick and Martin, Shaun and Sarah,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Well, Nick and Martin, very well done.

You haven't really put a foot wrong.

I suppose Libya was the only misstep thus far.

But our low scorers in every single round, so very, very well done.

Sarah, very well done to you, some great scoring...

I mean, some heroic lifting from you...

APPLAUSE

-..I have to say.

-I know.

And, Shaun, you are in a personal 300 Club all of your very own!

LAUGHTER

Listen, you might get a right answer now.

You can confer with Sarah, it's going to be amazing.

-LAUGHTER

-Exactly.

Very, very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

TV Tonys, Richard.

We're going to show you five TV characters called Tony.

We need you to tell us the name of the programme

they first appeared in, please.

OK, thanks. Let's reveal our Tonys and here they come.

We've got...

There we are, five Tonys.

Nick and Martin, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

-Is that...?

-MARTIN LAUGHS

We'd like to go for D, which is Taxi.

D, Taxi.

Now then, Shaun and Sarah, do you want to talk us through that board?

Erm...

E is from The Bill.

C, Tony from Men Behaving Badly.

B from Hollyoaks and A from 24.

I think we're going to go with 24, A.

A, 24. So we have Taxi and we have 24.

Nick and Martin went for Taxi.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Taxi.

It's right.

That's a good answer. Look at that, 11. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Lovely low score for Taxi.

Shaun and Sarah P have gone for 24.

Let's see if that's right for A and, if it is,

how many of our 100 people said 24.

It's right.

Oh, it's going to be close...

And it wins the point! Look at that, six for 24. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Shaun and Sarah, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, best two answers on the board there. Well played, both teams.

Sarah, was that yours or Shaun's?

-Mine.

-Have a guess!

LAUGHTER

You know what, Shaun? You can judge a man by many things in this world,

but one thing you should always judge a person on is their choice of partner

and you've done very, very well.

-LAUGHTER

-Exactly.

B, you're right, was Hollyoaks.

Would have scored you 32.

C, of course, Neil Morrissey as Tony Smart in Men Behaving Badly,

would have scored 52, and then Graham Cole as PC Tony Stamp in The Bill.

Would have scored you 65.

Thank you very much indeed. So here comes your second question.

Nick and Martin, you have to win this to stay in the game, so best of luck. It concerns...

Books Written By Politicians, Richard.

Yeah, five diaries, autobiographies and memoirs here by various politicians.

We've given you their initials after the book title. Can you tell us who they are, please?

OK, let's reveal our five books by politicians and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

Shaun and Sarah, you will go first.

This isn't...

Yeah, it's not really our strongest subject, not that many are mine.

-LAUGHTER

-Erm...so...

Yeah, we'll have to take the simple one, the Jeffrey Archer one.

So A Prison Diary: Volume I.

You're going to go for Jeffrey Archer. OK.

Now, Nick and Martin, over to you.

Talk us through the whole board.

Well, going from the bottom, A Journey is Tony Blair.

Free Radical we think is Vince Cable.

Can't think of The Third Man, I'm sure it's someone obvious.

But we're going to go for The Course Of My Life,

which I think is Edward Heath.

Edward Heath.

So we have Jeffrey Archer and Edward Heath.

Shaun and Sarah said Jeffrey Archer. Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

30.

APPLAUSE

30 for Jeffrey Archer.

Now, Nick and Martin have gone for Edward Heath.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said that.

It's right.

Well done, wins you the point, you've broken back, 14.

APPLAUSE

Which means, after two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, well played.

You knew two of the others. Tony Blair is the one at the bottom -

big scorer, though - he would have scored you 42.

It is Vince Cable, Free Radical,

would have been a great score as well -

you'd have got five for it. And you do know the top one.

If the first and second men are Blair and Brown, The Third Man is..?

-Mandelson.

-Peter Mandelson, yeah.

-And would have scored you 11.

-And there we are.

Thank you very much indeed. So here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot. It concerns...

Actors In Film Adaptations Of Shakespeare, Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five characters in film adaptations of Shakespeare.

You need to tell us the name of the actor who played these roles, please.

OK, thanks very much indeed.

So let's reveal our five characters and here they come.

I'll read all those one last time.

Now, Nick and Martin, you will go first this time.

Erm, yeah. Henry V, 1944, we think is Laurence Olivier.

Laurence Olivier, say Nick and Martin, for Henry V.

Now, Shaun and Sarah, the board's all yours,

do you want to talk us through it?

Richard III was, erm...

Kenneth Branagh.

Romeo is Leonardo DiCaprio.

And then Shylock...

I'm thinking it might be Robert De Niro.

-What if...? That might not be...

-Might not be right.

Oh... I think we just go... Richard III, Kenneth Branagh.

All right.

-BOTH:

-Richard III, Kenneth Branagh.

OK, Kenneth Branagh, say Shaun and Sarah.

So we have Laurence Olivier and Kenneth Branagh.

Nick and Martin said Laurence Olivier,

let's see if that's right for Henry V, 1944.

It's right.

17.

APPLAUSE

17 for Laurence Olivier.

Now then, Shaun and Sarah have said Kenneth Branagh

for Richard III, 1995.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is,

how many of our 100 people said Kenneth Branagh.

No...

I'm afraid it's not Kenneth Branagh, which means, Nick and Martin,

after three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

Yeah, well played, Nick and Martin. Sorry, Sarah and Shaun.

I have to say, Sarah, of anyone who's never got to the jackpot round,

I think you deserve a Pointless trophy more than... LAUGHTER

Ian McKellen was Richard III.

Would have scored eight.

And if you'd gone for Robert De Niro for Shylock,

-it's not a million miles away either, it's the other one, Al Pacino.

-Yeah.

Would have been three points, as well.

Would have seen you into the final.

Rome was Leonardo DiCaprio, as you said, but would have scored you 42.

-And Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing...

-Emma Thompson.

Emma Thompson, yeah, and she would have scored 11.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm so sorry, Shaun and Sarah.

You've done very, very well.

I know we've teased you a lot, Shaun, but...

-With reason, but...

-LAUGHTER

-Do you know what?

-It's all part of the fun.

Well, you've been very gracious

and very good at sending yourself up, so...

That's nice.

Thank you so much for playing. It's been great having you on the show. Thanks, Shaun and Sarah.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Nick and Martin, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Nick and Martin, you've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Well, you've done very well.

Great performance throughout the show.

Only one blot on your copybook and that was Libya

but, apart from that, absolutely fantastic.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Progressive rock music from the '70s and '80s.

LAUGHTER

Nothing too specific, but Yes albums would be great.

OK, very good. Nick?

Something to do with the arts or literature,

or perhaps the history of Leyton Orient Football Club.

LAUGHTER

Very good indeed. OK, well, best of luck.

As you know, you get to choose your category from the four we put on the board.

Let's hope there's something

you like the look of in today's choice. We've got...

So...

-Were you alive in the '20s?

-No, not quite, no.

THEY LAUGH

We're thinking Cult Directors.

-Cult Directors.

-Yeah.

-OK, that's what it's going to be. Richard?

OK, I know some people at home will love this.

We're looking for three films by three very good directors.

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release

for which Kevin Smith has received a director's credit,

for which Pedro Almodovar has received a directing credit,

or for which Michel Gondry has received a directing credit.

We were talking about him last show.

Any feature film made for cinema release up to January 2014

directed by Kevin Smith, Pedro Almodovar or Michel Gondry,

and that's up to January 2014.

Thanks very much indeed.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Right.

-OK.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Right, there's Tambien something... That's Pedro Almodovar.

-OK.

-Tambien... "And My Mother Came Too," I think it's...

-OK.

-Erm, Michel Gondry...

-I don't know at all.

Is that the one with Julie Delpy?

-Oh, that one, yes.

-Do you know what it's called?

-Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke.

-Yeah.

-What are they called?

-It's like...

-Yes, they've made three films, haven't they?

-Er...

-Do you know what any of them are called?

-No, I don't. Kevin Smith, I don't know at all.

-I've never heard of Kevin Smith, no.

-Almodovar.

-Erm...

-Wasn't something like Labyrinth, was it?

I'm thinking Labyrinth was the other one, the Spanish film, wasn't it?

-Well, that's the one I'm thinking of.

-Is it?

Tambien...

What's the Spanish for "too"?

It's...

-INDISTINCT SPEECH

-Dos...

-Tambien...

THEY LAUGH

What's the Julie Delpy film?

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

-Kevin Smith we've never heard of.

-Mmm.

Pedro Almodovar, I think that's Y Mu... Tambien...

"And My Mother Came Too."

And Mother Came Too?

We can't...

I can't think of the Michel Gondry ones with Julie Delpy in.

It's probably not her anyway, but...

So we're just going to have to make up a couple.

-Labyrinth, Nick said for Pedro Almodovar.

-OK, Labyrinth.

Kevin Smith must have written a very...

An Average Day In The Life Of Chapel-en-le-Frith Male Voice Choir

-cos I haven't mentioned them yet...

-LAUGHTER

And if I don't mention them, at some point, the guys will kill me when I get home.

-An Average Day In The Life Of...

-Chapel-en-le-Frith Male Voice Choir.

An Average Day In The Life Of Chapel-en-le-Frith Male Voice Choir...

-Please. If you can say that a few more times.

-LAUGHTER

..by Kevin Smith. Of those three...

LAUGHTER

..which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Let's put Chapel-en-le-Frith first.

What order do you want the other two to go? Which do you think is your best shot?

-Well, the best... And Mother Came Too is...

-We'll put it last.

-..pretty certain.

-OK.

-Labyrinth...

-And Labyrinth in the middle.

OK, let's put those on the board in that order

and here they are. We have got...

Well, one of those answers might be a very good answer

and might win you that jackpot.

What would you do? £2,500.

Nick?

I think I'd probably try and persuade my wife to go on a cruise.

That would be nice. Where would you like to go?

-Erm...

-Maybe that'll be up to her.

-Yes.

-Maybe that's how you persuade her.

-That's right.

-Yeah.

Martin?

Erm...

A sporting occasion, maybe,

with the amount of money we've got,

or a trip to New Zealand, Canada and...

Helping daughter and son-in-law with their purchase of a house.

Very good. OK, best of luck.

Your first answer was An Average Day In The Life Of Chapel-en-le-Frith Male Voice Choir.

In this case, we were looking for a Kevin Smith film.

Looking quite hard for one, I think.

Let's find out if it's...

Let's find out if it's right, for £2,500.

LAUGHTER

It's hilarious. We were all looking up at the tower.

LAUGHTER

Guys, I'll explain why that was a wrong answer at the end of the...

Unfortunately not a pointless answer,

so only two more shots at today's jackpot.

We now move onto slightly firmer ground.

Labyrinth. In this case, we were looking for Pedro Almodovar -

a film by him. And let's see if that's right.

And if it is, how many people said it, for £2,500?

Is it pointless?

Oh, I'm afraid...

Not Labyrinth,

which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything's now riding on your third and final answer - And Mother Came Too.

Again, we're looking for Pedro Almodovar films.

Let's see if this is right. Let's see how many people said it.

If it's pointless, it wins you £2,500.

And Mother Came Too.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm afraid another incorrect answer.

APPLAUSE

Well, a game attempt is what I'm going to call that, Nick and Martin.

But I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that crucial pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500 - that will roll over onto the next show.

But we've really enjoyed having you

and this last round particularly has been enormous fun.

You get a Pointless trophy to take back to Chapel-en-le-Frith, so there we are.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, the film you're thinking of there at the end

is Y Tu Mama Tambien, which would translate as And Your Mother Too,

but do you know who directed that?

Alfonso Cuaron, who went on to direct Gravity, amongst many other things.

It's a terrific film, Y Tu Mama Tambien, though.

It's quite gritty, but it's very good.

Labyrinth is a Jim Henson film, but there's Pan's Labyrinth,

which was Guillermo Del Toro,

which might be the one you were thinking of.

Er, and, er...

Your other one,

An Average Day In The Life Of Chapel-en-le-Frith Male Voice Choir,

that I think is a Jim Jarmusch movie, I'm afraid.

Kevin smith worked as director of photography on that,

that's where he learned a lot of his trade,

so I think that's why it was in your head.

Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers

in the different categories, shall we?

Kevin Smith, he's the guy who did Clerks and Mallrats

and lots of very cool slacker movies.

He's a very funny director.

Cop Out and Jersey Girl, well done if you said that.

Now, Almodovar, his biggest scores were Volver, Talk To Her...

High Heels, you could have had, Kika, Law Of Desire,

a very famous film, Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown.

You also could have had Broken Embraces, Dark Habits, Live Flesh,

The Flower Of My Secret as well, all of those are pointless answers.

Michel Gondry is the guy who did

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind and Be Kind Rewind,

and he had three pointless answers up there -

Human Nature, The We And The I and Tokyo!

Very, very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thank you very much. Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Nick and Martin,

but it's been fantastic having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

Well, Nick and Martin didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £3,500.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE

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