Episode 48 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points

as you can, and you do that by coming up with the answers

no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

I'm Jon and this is my good friend Mark.

We've been friends for over 43 years.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Amy. This is Aisleen and we are friends from Ipswich.

-Couple number three.

-Yeah, my name is Kris. This is Paul.

We've been mates for about ten years from London originally,

East and West.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Ailsa.

This is my boyfriend Martin and we are from Dundee in Scotland.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show

as it goes along. That leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Smarter than a teenager's mobile, deeper than the Mariana Trench

and cannier than a Campbell's soup factory.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya.

Hey, everybody.

Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon to you.

-This jackpot is ticking up nicely, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

The only team who came back from the last one was Mark and Jon.

They were beaten by Geoff and Kathy, in that head-to-head.

So, yeah, only one returning pair. Three new pairs. Nice jackpot.

-What's not to like?

-What's not?

-I tell you, two things I did before the show.

-Uh-oh.

I drank a bottle of water and a big cup of tea.

One thing I didn't do.

LAUGHTER

Taking a bit of hostage to fortune.

Ooh. So you've taken on a lot of liquid.

I've taken on a lot of liquid. I think I can do it.

-You reckon you can last till 6.00?

-I reckon I probably can.

You can.

Oh, I need to talk to you because when I got home last night,

there was enormous flood in my bathroom.

-There was just... Water was gushing everywhere.

-Yeah.

I couldn't believe it. Out of the taps, just whoosh!

But in some places, kroo, waterfalls of the stuff.

I've been to waterfalls. I went to Victoria Falls. It's beautiful.

Have you ever been?

-No, I haven't.

-Just gallons of water just plunging over precipices.

Absolutely extraordinary. Really, really is.

Thanks very much.

-Really, thanks very much indeed.

-Oh, such a pleasure.

So, Geoff and Kathy didn't win the jackpot last time which means

we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot start off at...

Now that's getting very exciting.

OK. If everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

OK. Now remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

You will just have to make sure you are not in that pair.

Our first category today is...

Famous People. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

-who's going to the second?

-Doesn't matter really, does it?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Shared Surnames. Richard.

We're going to give you seven pairs of people on each board.

They all share a common surname.

Can you tell us what their surnames are, please?

There's going to be 14 in all to have a good time. Very best of luck.

OK. So we're looking for the surnames

shared by each of these seven people. Here is our first board.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Jon. So remind us what you do, Jon.

-I'm a tiler. Wall and floor tiling.

Wall and floor tiling. Do you prefer wall or floor?

-If you had to.

-Wall tiling is a bit easier on the knees, Alexander.

-OK.

So, Jon. What are you going to go for on this board?

I think I know about four of them.

I'll go for the British philosopher and Women In Love director,

Russells.

-Bertrand and Ken Russell.

-Very good indeed. Russell, says Jon.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

60. I mean, who knows, maybe that's not a terrible score.

We'll see what everyone else scores. 60 gets the ball rolling.

Yeah, not a bad answer but a pretty big score, I have to say.

I think perhaps because people who know either of them it's...

But, yeah, you would have thought that would have scored

-slightly fewer.

-Hm.

-Thanks very much. Now, Amy.

-Hello.

-Welcome to the show.

Here from Ipswich. What you do up in Ipswich?

I work for a recruitment agency as a project manager.

And what are your hobbies?

What do you like doing in your non-recruiting time?

When I'm not at work, I go to the gym a lot

and I also do a lot of baking, which means I have to go to the gym a lot.

-What's the most difficult thing you bake?

-Erm...

I baked a cake last week in the shape of a handbag,

which was for my mum's birthday cake.

That was quite difficult, but I tend to make them quite easy.

-Mum was delighted, I bet.

-She was. Exactly. It made her happy, so...

Good. That's all that counts.

Now, Amy, what are you going to go for on this board?

I'm thinking I'm going to go for

comic actor Oliver

and Jude The Obscure author, Thomas Hardy and Oliver Hardy.

Oliver Hardy, Thomas Hardy. Let's see how many people said that.

-Well, 60 is what we got for Russell. You've passed that.

-Ooh, yay.

Wow, you really do pass that. Look at that - 36 for the Hardys.

I'm pleased with that.

Yeah, well played. Very good answer, Amy.

Here's another person, Oliver Hardy,

who has a misquoted catchphrase that people say he says,

"That's another fine mess you got me into." And he doesn't.

He says, "Another nice mess you've got me into." Not another fine mess.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Paul, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here. What you do, Paul?

-I'm a London bus driver.

What is your route?

Well, I do a few different routes,

but I suppose the 149 which goes to London Bridge, 243 to Waterloo.

At the moment, I currently enjoy the 123 which goes to Ilford

-which doesn't go...

-Easy to remember.

-Yeah, that one is.

It has that advantage. Now then, Paul,

what are you going to go for on this board?

Erm... Yeah, I know a few of them.

The one I was going to go for is gone.

I think I'm going to go for the second one from the bottom there,

the X Factor finalist, Ray,

and Radio 4 PM and Today

presenter Karen Quinn.

Quinn, says Paul. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Quinn.

Well, 60 is our high score. 36 our low.

You've past the high, you've passed the low.

Look at that, down we go.

-New low score of 20. Well done, Paul.

-Whoo!

Good answer. Good moves.

Well played, Paul. Very good answer.

I think anyone who ever comes to London, for any city,

the bus is the way to see a city, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Absolutely is.

I love it. I've got any journey, cos you can look out the window.

-Mm.

-You can't look out the window on the Tube. Well, you can, but...

-You're not going to see much.

-You're seeing a tunnel, right?

If you like tunnels, then it is good.

Actually, if you like tunnels, you going to find it disappointing

-because they are very hard to see.

-That is true. So go on the bus.

-Yeah.

I'd go with the bus. I'd go with the bus.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, then, Ailsa, welcome.

-Here from Dundee.

-Yeah.

-What do you do, Ailsa?

-I'm an art teacher.

-Who do teach art to?

Secondary pupils.

-Are they lovely?

-Yes, they're all very lovely.

-I bet they love art.

I mean, art...art lessons at school are always just...

I'm not saying they were a doss, I'm just saying

they were really good fun after the hard work of other things.

Nice to use the other side of the brain.

And, you know, nice to be able to muck about

-with a paintbrush as well.

-Oh, yeah.

And what are your hobbies aside from that?

I like to do a lot of musical theatre.

Yeah, do a lot of shows a year. That's really good fun.

So you are part of a club that puts on shows?

-Yeah, a part of a few clubs, yeah.

-And what sort of shows do you do?

-Musicals or operas or...?

-Musicals, yeah. Musicals.

Anyway, you're the last person to have this board, Ailsa.

-Do you want to talk us through it and fill in all the blanks?

-Yeah.

I think maybe the top one is Ford.

And I think the bottom one might be Hart.

I think I might go for the conservative MP

and the Slumdog Millionaire actor, Patel.

Patel. OK. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

I think that was the right one to go for, Ailsa.

Our low score at the moment is 20.

I suspect you're going to go beyond that. Oh, 21.

All right!

-21 for Patel.

-Well played, Ailsa.

In fact, well played, everyone, on that round.

There's only one other low score that nobody got

-which is the light verse writer and the architect.

-Yeah, Nash.

Ogden Nash and John Nash. Yep. That would have scored 27.

The top one, which is Ford, is a big scorer. Look at this.

90 points. You would have been unhappy with that.

And absolutely right.

Tony Hart and Amanda Hart

down the bottom there.

Would have scored 66.

So Quinn is actually the best answer. Very well played.

Thanks very much indeed. We're halfway through the round

so let's take a look at the scores.

20, well done, Paul. The best score of the pass, all yours.

Paul and Kris ruling the roost at this point.

Up to 21, we find Ailsa and Martin.

Up to 36, Amy and Aisleen.

Jon and Mark...

Ooh. Head-to-headers last time.

We can't say goodbye to you at the end of the round.

I'm forbidding that. So, Mark, you know you have to do.

Look at that board carefully. Find a nice low-scoring answer.

Let's hope it get you through. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's put seven more pairs of people up on the board,

and here they are...

We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

Martin, remember we're looking for the surname

of each of these famous people. They share the same surname.

Martin, welcome here from Dundee. What do you do?

I'm a project engineer for the oil industry in Aberdeen.

And how do you and Ailsa know each other?

-Ah, she's my girlfriend.

-Well, I know.

But how long have you known one another?...

That's a year and a half now

after I met her driving into her car.

You met by driving into her car?

I tried to sweet talk my way out of it

by offering to take her out on a date and we are still here.

And here you are. 18 months later.

-I know.

-On Pointless.

I've still not fixed the car.

-LAUGHS:

-You've still not fixed her car.

You better get around to that. Let's hope you win.

OK, well, listen. That board is all yours. There you are.

You are on 21. The high score is Mark and Jon on 67.

So 38 or less gets you through.

Looking at that, I'm also glad we got a low score cos I'm stuck

with the obvious ones.

But I think Mike Myers and I hope Dave is called Myers, eh.

OK. Mike Myers, Dave Myers says Martin. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it. There's your red line.

It's right.

65, big score. Bigger score. In fact, of the round so far.

-86 your total.

-Yeah, as you said, it is Dave Myers.

Dave Myers and Si King, The Hairy Bikers.

Thanks very much indeed. Kris, welcome. And what do you do, Kris?

I'm a struggling freelance writer.

What sort of things do you struggle to write?

BOTH LAUGH

I write anything from music reviews to court reports

to my favourite articles for a caravanning magazine.

Huuh. Which of the great caravanning magazines do you write for?

It's called Park Home And Holiday Caravan Magazine.

That's my favourite one. That is the one I get every...month?

-It is monthly.

-Yeah, every month. Oh, wow.

Did you see the one with the interview with George Clooney?

-LAUGHS:

-I did. I did.

-Me And My Park Home.

-Yeah.

He... Ahh.

His views on these new injection-moulded towbars

I thought were fascinating.

-Yes.

-I like him in films, but I prefer him in a caravan.

LAUGHTER

Absolutely right. Thank you very much.

So, Kris, how do you and Paul know each other?

Roughly ten years ago we met at a Shakin' Stevens concerts.

How come? What brought you there?

Well, I've been a Shaky fan since I've been old enough

to remember.

Paul, you are a fan as well, then, are you?

Yeah, yeah.

I actually run the fans' forum, the biggest one worldwide for the guy.

So, yeah, yeah. Huge, huge fan.

How many people are on your forum?

Oh, there's at least 22... No, there's...there's...

-It's in its hundreds, yeah. So it's...

-But, no, that's good.

-That is impressive.

-I like Shaky. Yeah.

-I like Shaky.

So, Kris, there you are. You are on 20.

The high score is 86 with Martin and Ailsa. What are you going to go for?

Well, I know a few of them.

There's a couple more obvious ones. Um...

I'm going to go for the second one because I just think,

I can play it slightly safe.

-That is Frost.

-Frost.

Frost, say Kris and Paul. Here is your red line.

Get below that with Frost and you are into Round Two.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

74 that scores you. Takes your total up to 94.

This is all good news for Mark and Jon on the end there.

Yeah, another big scorer.

Again, these are bigger scorers than we normally have

because there are sort of two clues there, aren't there.

If you know either one of them, you're going to get the right answer.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Aisleen, welcome.

-Hello.

Here from Ipswich as well. How do you and Amy knew each other?

-We used to work together.

-So, Aisleen, what do you do now?

-I work in travel marketing.

-What were you doing then?

-Public relations.

-Similar sort of thing.

-Similar things, yeah.

Travel marketing is fun though, isn't it?

Yeah, it's good.

-And you look at places all over the world?

-Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

Which obviously you have to sample.

-You can't market it.

-Of course.

You've got to know your product, haven't you?

Well, listen, Aisleen, there you are, on 36.

You have to score 57 to stay in the game.

This is difficult because I'm one of those people that literally knows

all the obvious answers to questions.

The one I wanted...they've taken.

Erm...

So I literally only know one more that I'm sure about and I think it's

going to be a really high scorer, but it's the only one I know, so...

It's the top one and it is May.

Theresa May, James May. Let's see if that is right.

Let's see how may people said it. Here's your red line.

Get below that with May...

..and you're in the next round for sure.

Well, it is right.

-Ooh, that's a big scorer. 85.

-I chose the highest one!

121, your score. There's even better news for Mark and Jon there.

That is a big scorer. Actually, when you say you're one of those people

who only knows the obvious answers to questions,

did you not think about that before you applied to come on Pointless?

-LAUGHTER

-I did, and I did try to tell Amy

I probably wouldn't be the best partner.

But, you know, she misses me when I'm not around.

That's right, blame me.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Mark...

It's been getting easier and easier.

Looking like a challenge at the beginning of this pass

when you're the high-scorers.

But now, you can get away with 60 or less.

-Before you give your answer...

-Yep.

Remind us about your lovely life. You have a wonderful life.

I'm a retired banker. I now have my own consultancy business.

When you say consultancy business,

that's basically you between shutting the door of your Jag and

walking into the golf club saying, "Yeah, yeah, I would do that."

Basically, we have two employees, which is myself and my wife and

we do a lot of corporate entertaining,

which involves us actually going to play golf and going on holiday.

Lovely. Do you want to talk us through the board?

The Rangers goalkeeper, I feel like I don't know the Rangers goalkeeper.

But I feel like I should know the Erasure's singer.

Gomarsall was the name that came in mind,

but I think that... And Johnson is a name that I've got.

And I'm not absolutely sure.

Going to go with the one I know and see how we get on.

So I shall go with the Doctor Zhivago actress

and the Amarillo singer, Christie.

Christie.

Here is your red line. This is going to be very exciting.

Christie gets you below that red line, you remain with us.

Let's see how many people said Tony Christie and Julie Christie.

It's right.

You've done it! Very well done indeed.

Very well judged there, Mark. 52. You needed 60. You've got 52.

112 is your total. Very well done.

Yeah, very well played.

You were lucky you didn't go for the Erasure singer as well.

Andy Gomarsall is a rugby player. Andy Johnson is a footballer.

This is Andy Bell.

Andy Bell and Cammy Bell. Would have scored 17.

Celebrity MasterChef winner Lisa Faulkner and William Faulkner.

20 points. And the bottom one is the best answer. Do you know that?

I'm guessing you get it through the author

-rather than The Voice finalists.

-Barker.

Pat Barker and Sally Barker.

Six points if you said that. Very well played.

Thanks very much. So at the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with the high score of 121.

I'm so sorry, Aisleen and Amy, it is you.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers,

just that James May, Theresa May was a very high-scoring one.

I'm so sorry. Well, we'll see you again next time.

And I'm sure you'll make it much further than just Round One.

Thanks very much for playing meanwhile.

-Aisleen and Amy, lovely contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye

to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

-Mark and Jon, you were lucky there.

-We were.

That was lucky, but well done. You made it through.

Paul and Kris, not bad at all.

And Martin and Ailsa, our lowest scores there.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for this round is...

Cinema. Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Film Adaptations. Richard.

In a moment we are about to show you a board with five authors on it.

We are looking for any feature film made for cinema release up to

April 2014 based on a novel by any of these authors, please.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. So, as Richard just mentioned,

we're going to put five authors up on the board.

They will remain on the board all the way through the round.

We won't change them halfway through. They'll stay up there.

We are looking for the name of any film based on a novel

by any of these five authors. Here they are.

Jon.

I'm struggling on the authors let alone the films.

I don't do films. John...

I'm going to say John Grisham, Day Of The Triffids.

Day Of The Triffids, says Jon. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said The Day Of The Triffids.

Ooh. I'm afraid not The Day Of The Triffids. An incorrect answer.

It may well not be our last incorrect answer of the round.

That's John Wyndham, I'm afraid. Very different author.

-Different Johns altogether.

-Different Johns.

Thanks for much indeed. Now, Kris...

I'm pretty sure that...

John Grisham...

..did The Pelican Brief.

The Pelican Brief, says Kris.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Pelican Brief.

It's right.

Look at that, it's a good answer.

Look at that, 4 for The Pelican Brief.

Very well done indeed, Kris.

Good answer, Kris. Very well played.

Yes, starring Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington,

who coincidentally are starting as us in Pointless - The Movie.

That's right, yes.

I think Julia is going to be a terrific you.

-I think she is.

-Yeah.

-I think she is.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. OK, so, Ailsa.

Erm...

I think I'm going to go for Nick Hornby and High Fidelity.

High Fidelity, says Ailsa. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said High Fidelity.

It's right.

Well, 4 is our best score so far. High Fidelity...

You score 7. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Yep, Nick Hornby's debut novel was turned into a film with

John Cusack, Jack Black.

It's a great book and a great film as well.

Very good. Thanks. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

4 the best score of that pass. Well done, Kris.

Kris and Paul reigning supreme at this point.

Then up to 7 where we find Ailsa and Martin.

Then up to 100, I'm afraid, Jon and Mark.

Yeah. Well, once again, Mark, we're going to need a low score from you.

But, yeah, best of luck with that. We'll come back to the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK. Now, Martin, we're looking for the title,

remember, of any film based on a novel by any of these authors.

Brilliant answer from Ailsa there.

I know half of them. The Pelican Brief was going to be my answer.

I didn't expect that to go so low.

So I'm more confident about saying The Firm now.

OK, The Firm, says Martin. You want to be scoring 92 or less.

Here is a red line.

Nice and high. Get below that with The Firm,

you are in the head-to-head.

It's right and you are through.

Not bad at all! 7.

Equalling Ailsa's score, taking your total up to 14.

Seeing you comfortably into the next round.

Well played, podium three. That's the novel that really turned John Grisham

into an absolute superstar.

-And Tom Cruise, of course, was the star of the film.

-Indeed.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Paul.

-Hm.

-95 or less is your target.

Now cinema is one of your things, isn't it, Paul?

Yeah, this is a great round for me. I know loads.

Let's go for the Jurassic Park sequel, The Lost World.

The Lost World, says Paul. The Lost World. Here is your red line.

Nice and high. If you can get below that with The Lost World...

You're into the next round. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right and you are through.

Oh, 1!

It's a great answer, Paul.

You get all the glory, but I'm afraid you don't get the cash there.

But it takes your total up to 5. Very well done.

Yeah, well played, Paul. Shame it didn't go down one more.

Starring Jeff Goldblum and Julianne Moore.

Julianne Moore of course is playing Paxman

in University Challenge - The Movie.

Have you seen her? Have you seen what they've done?

-I've seen some of the stills.

-Looks amazing.

-The prosthetics are extraordinary.

-Beard.

Honestly, I thought it was Paxman. The voice.

Absolutely. Is that...

-Is that something they have generated or something?

-Nope. Nope.

She literally, she spent nine months training in,

watching things.

She absolutely methoded it.

-Amazing.

-Extraordinary. She is Paxman. She has become Paxman.

-Yeah.

In the same way that she became Ted Rogers

when she did 3, 2, 1 The Movie.

LAUGHTER

She was ter-rific. She was.

-And Leonardo DiCaprio as Dusty Bin, also a good performance.

-Hm.

Really, really good.

If you haven't seen that, it's really worth catching.

Um, Mark, I'm afraid... Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Well, listen, let's go through the motions.

I'm afraid it will be your last answer on Pointless,

but let's make it a good one.

Well, I... Some of the answers, The Firm, The Pelican Brief have gone.

I was going to put Jurassic Park or Jurassic Park - The Lost World,

so I can pick something out from that, but this may not be right.

But I'm taking a gamble.

I might as well go out in a blaze of glory with 200 if it's wrong.

Did Nick Hornby do Green Street?

Green Street, says Mark. Green Street.

Let's find out. Did he?

-I'm afraid it's the blaze of glory, Mark.

-Made me feel better.

But you're right, they're worth a punt.

There might have been a pointless answer there

if you could winkle it out. Green Street wasn't it though.

Scores you 100, takes your total up to 200.

No, but was a very noble thing to do, genuinely, so nice try.

Not... Doesn't come from a novel at all, Green Street.

-Oh, right.

-Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Plenty of them. All The Pretty Horses,

that comes from the Cormac McCarthy book.

Black Sunday, that's Thomas Harris. Child of God, Cormac McCarthy again.

Christmas With The Kranks, that's a John Grisham adaptation.

Disclosure, Michael Crichton, a few people might have got that at home.

Rising Sun, that's also Michael Crichton.

The 13th Warrior and Timeline,

they're both Michael Crichton as well. And The Chamber,

which is a John Grisham adaptation.

Let's look at the top three, the ones that most of our 100 people said.

It's a low scorer, as you'd imagine. The Silence Of The Lambs

which is Thomas Harris of course.

About A Boy, Nick Hornby, 14.

And Jurassic Park, 22. Right at the top. Michael Crichton, of course.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair heading home

with a high score of 200, our head-to-headers last time,

but I'm afraid this time you haven't quite made it that far.

Mark and Jon. Well, it's been great having you on both shows.

Strong performance in some rounds

but this is where we have to say goodbye.

-Thanks so much for playing. Mark and Jon.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE BOTH:

-Good luck.

But for Martin and Ailsa, Paul and Kris,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Paul and Kris, Martin and Ailsa.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £5,750.

APPLAUSE

Well, you've seen off our only returning pair

and they were our head-to-headers last time.

So I think this is going to be very exciting.

Martin and Ailsa, our low scorers in the first round.

Paul and Kris, our low scorers in the second.

You can now put your heads together and combine your knowledge.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Famous Squares. Richard.

We'll show you five pictures now taken in famous squares

from around the world. You need to tell us

the name of the city that each of these is taken in, please.

OK, let's reveal our five famous squares. And here they come.

We have...

There we are, five famous squares.

Now, Paul and Kris, you've been our low scorers so far,

so you will go first.

I've actually been to the city of the answer that I'm going to go for

because it's got that quite distinct building in the foreground

and in the background.

And that's B, Melbourne, Australia.

B, Melbourne.

B, Melbourne, say Paul and Kris.

Now then, Martin and Ailsa, do you want to talk us through

the rest of the board?

-LAUGHING:

-We'll try.

I think maybe the top one is Beijing.

Maybe Venice for C. Do you know D?

-I was... I was thinking Barcelona or something...

-Hmm, B.

But there's not enough letters.

E, I think, is Marrakech. What shall we go for?

-Marrakech if you think so.

-E, Marrakech.

OK, E, Marrakech.

So we have Melbourne and we have Marrakech.

Paul and Kris went for Melbourne.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Melbourne.

It's right.

7. Well done.

7 for Melbourne. Very well done indeed.

Now, Martin and Ailsa, meanwhile, have said that E is Marrakech.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Marrakech.

It's right.

Good answer. Look at that. 21.

Still, not bad at all. Two good answers there.

But very well done, Paul and Kris. After one question you're up 1-nil.

Yeah, Federation Square in Melbourne.

That was actually the best answer on the board, couldn't have beaten it.

A is Beijing.

That would have scored you 59.

Then we've got St Mark's Square in Venice.

Which would have scored you 52. Surprisingly got fewer than Beijing.

D, that's a carpet of flowers there

and it's in the Grand Place in Brussels.

It's a carpet of begonias. That would have scored you 18 points.

So the best answer there - Melbourne. Biggest answer there - Beijing.

Thanks very much indeed. So, here comes your second question.

Martin and Ailsa, you get to answer it first.

But you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

Seaside Items. Richard.

We'll show you five anagrams now of things associated with the seaside.

Can you unscramble them?

OK, let's reveal our five anagrams. And here they come. We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

Martin and Ailsa, over to you. Feel free to confer.

Right. Um, just down at the bottom...

MARTIN WHISPERS

I'm stuck between... Go for three or four.

So four, sun lotion.

Sun lotion, say Martin and Ailsa.

Sun lotion.

Paul and Kris, talk us through the board.

I think the second one is deckchair.

The third one down has got to be beach ball.

Um, I think we'll go for the top one, bucket and spade.

Bucket and spade.

So we have sun lotion and bucket and spade.

Now, Martin and Ailsa have gone for sun lotion.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done indeed.

7 for sun lotion. Good answer.

Going to be hard to beat that.

Paul and Kris, meanwhile, have gone for bucket and spade.

Let's see if that's right for pancake bed dust.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

19.

Well done, Martin and Ailsa. That's what you needed.

Back in the game. After two questions it's 1-all.

Classic head-to-head cos, again, sun lotion

it's the best answer on the board. Unbeatable.

It's happened two questions in a row now.

Deckchair obviously is the second one.

Would have scored you 39.

You were right about beach ball as well.

That would have scored you 53. How are you doing on that bottom one?

Not brilliantly.

It's 12 points.

-And very well done at home if you said...

-Swimming costume.

-Swimming costume, yeah.

-There you go.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes you third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs.

Big jackpot to play for. It concerns...

American Football. Richard.

We're going to show you five clues now to facts about American football.

Whichever team give us the best answer goes through to

play for the jackpot, so best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our five clues.

And here they come...

I'll read those all one last time.

Paul and Kris go first.

Right, I used to be a big gamer in my earlier days

and I had John Madden Football on the Mega Drive.

And I'm pretty sure that every time you sacked

a ball-carrier behind his own goal-line, that was called "safety".

OK. Safety.

Now then, Martin and Ailsa...

-Just Martin this time.

-THEY CHUCKLE

I've got an answer for them all

and I would like to disagree with their one,

so I think I might take a bit of a safer one.

And just take the...

Top or bottom, top or bottom.

Ten yards, top.

Ten yards. Ten yards. So we have safety versus ten.

Now, Paul and Kris went for safety. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said safety.

It's right.

It's right.

And down it goes to 3.

Very well done indeed.

Now, Martin and Ailsa have gone for ten yards.

Let's see if ten is right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said ten.

It's right.

Ten. Scores 10.

Well, very well done, Paul and Kris.

After three questions you are through to the final, 2-1.

Well, three questions and all three questions,

the team going first pick the best score on the board,

so you can't play a head-to-head better than that. Very well played.

The name given to the end of season contest is of course the Super Bowl.

Would have scored you 27.

And the player is the quarterback.

Of course.

Would have scored you 17.

And the number of points awarded for a touchdown is six.

And that would have scored you 8 points.

Thank you very much indeed.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round

I'm afraid it's Martin and Ailsa. Strong performance though.

Really, really strong right through.

Nothing wrong with any of your scores in this last round.

Just Paul and Kris managed to beat you.

We'll see you again next time. We look forward to that very much.

-Martin and Ailsa, very well done.

-APPLAUSE

But for Paul and Kris, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Paul and Kris.

You fought off all the competition

-and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-(Yes!)

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £5,750.

-There it is.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

Well, obviously I'm delighted you are in the final

and it's a very deserved win.

A fantastic performance in that head-to-head.

Lovely low scoring throughout.

But I'm a bit sad you're not coming back.

-Well...

-I want to ask you more about the driving, the writing, Shaky.

It's weird, cos normally you wait ages for a bus driver

and then two come along at once, but we've...

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

What do you want to come up in this last round?

I mean, obviously there is one category.

Yeah, Shakin' Stevens top 40 singles would be a good one. Yeah.

-Just music. '80s music would be great.

-'80s music, film.

-OK, good.

Well, as always, you get to choose your category

from the four we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something up here you like the look of.

We've got...

-It's going to have to be '60s music, isn't it?

-'60s music, yeah.

-'60s music.

-'60s music it is. Richard.

OK, good luck. Three questions about three very different acts here.

We are looking for

the title of any tracks on the original release of the album

commonly known as The White Album by The Beatles.

We are looking for any member of The Animals

from the early '60s through to their split in September 1966.

Or we're looking for any UK top 40 single that Dusty Springfield had,

either as a solo artist or with The Springfields during the '60s.

So, tracks on The White Album,

members of The Animals or Dusty Springfield

top 40 hits in the '60s.

-Very best of luck.

-OK.

As ever, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

Kris looking quietly confident there.

Remember, to win that jackpot, only one of those answers

has to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-BOTH:

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

-Your time starts now.

-OK, right, listen...

There's no point going through these, to be honest.

-Listen, look.

-OK. Go, go, go.

I'm going to reel you a list of tracks off The White Album.

-You tell me what you've heard of and what you haven't.

-OK, yeah.

-Piggies.

-No.

-Rocky Raccoon.

-No. Good Night. No. You sure it was The Beatles?

I'm So Tired.

-I know that one.

-You know that one?

-Hmm.

-All right.

Um...

-Martha My Dear.

-No.

-Savoy Truffle.

-No.

It's not narrowing it down much, is it?

All right. Well, those are the main ones I'm definitely sure of.

OK, what once do you feel the most confident with?

-I would go for Piggies...

-Yeah.

-..Rocky Raccoon...

-Yeah.

-..and...

-They're both animal themed, aren't they?

..Savoy Truffle, which is the George Harrison one.

Um... I'm So...

You've heard of I'm So Tired, haven't you?

-Thinking about it, probably not.

-Ten seconds left.

Blackbird, have you heard of that one?

I've not heard of any of them,

so first thing I'm going to do is buy The White Album when I get home.

All right. So I reckon Blackbird, Piggies...

-That's your time up.

-..Savoy Truffle.

I need your three answers. If you say which category they're in,

-that would be great.

-All right, so I'm a big fan of The White Album,

so I know most of the tracks off it.

So I'm going to name three off there which we've gone through.

-Piggies.

-Piggies.

-Savoy Truffle.

-Savoy Truffle.

And what was the other one? Blackbird.

Blackbird, OK. Now, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-What do you reckon?

-I reckon the best shot would be Savoy Truffle.

Savoy Truffle we put last. Least likely to be pointless?

-It could be either.

-Piggy.

-Piggies.

-I think people remember Piggies.

-I'll put Piggies first

and Blackbird in the middle.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order then.

And here they are. We've got...

Very best of luck.

Three good answers there up on the board.

Let's hope one of those wins that jackpot for you.

5,750 quid, that's a really nice jackpot.

What would you do if you won that, Paul?

Um, well, I'd like to say,

I'd take the family on holiday or something like that, but, no,

I'm going to go and probably buy the biggest 3-D HDTV I can find.

Kris?

Um, there are few countries in Southeast Asia

that I'd love to visit, so I'd go on probably a one-month's break

there and just travel around the area.

Very good indeed. Well, best of luck.

Three good answers up there on the board.

All three answers you've given are tracks from The White Album.

Your first was Piggies,

the one you thought was least likely to be pointless.

But let's find out how many people said Piggies.

For £5,750, is it pointless?

It's right.

Well, if this goes all the way down to 0,

you'll be leaving here with that jackpot of £5,750.

It's still going down. Down through the teens...

It's going, it's going.

Single figures. It's still going down. Down it goes.

-You've done it!

-BOTH:

-Yeah!

Very well done indeed. Fantastic!

Fabulous answer there. Piggies.

Very well done indeed, Paul. Superb.

Yes!

Ah. High five.

Come here. I won't leave you hanging.

Wow, congratulations.

Piggies was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with today's jackpot of £5,750.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

-Very well done.

-That turned out nicely, didn't it?

-BOTH:

-Yes.

-Very, very impressive.

I mean, if we'd had to go on, Blackbird, your second answer,

it would have scored you 1 point.

-Ooh.

-Savoy Truffle, your third answer, also pointless.

Yes! Well done, mate. Well done.

-Well done indeed.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Couple of others you mentioned.

You mentioned Martha My Dear and I'm So Tired.

-They both would have scored 1 point.

-Wow.

You also mentioned Rocky Raccoon and Good Night

and they were both pointless answers as well.

So you mentioned four in your minute there, which was very impressive.

Lots and lots of pointless answers on that White Album.

So Beatles fans will have been able to fill their boots.

Let's take a look at that. I Will. You've got Mother Nature's Son.

You've got The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill.

The George Harrison track,

While My Guitar Gently Weeps is a pointless answer amazingly.

Lots of others. Birthday was a pointless answer.

Cry Baby Cry, Don't Pass Me By.

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey

is a pointless answer. Honey Pie, Julia,

Long, Long, Long. Revolution 1, Why Don't We Do It In the Road?

and Yer Blues. All those were pointless answers, amazingly.

Let's take a look at The Animals. Four answers here.

Barry Jenkins, Dave Rowberry, Hilton Valentine and Mick Gallagher.

Well done if you said any of those.

And Dusty Springfield.

All I See Is You, I Close My Eyes And Count To Ten

is a pointless answer.

Losing You and Say I Won't Be There.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Terrific work in the studio, guys. Congratulations.

-BOTH:

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much.

And thanks again to our winning players, Paul and Kris,

who go away with today's jackpot of £5,750.

-Very well done indeed.

-APPLAUSE

Well, join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure

knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE