Episode 49 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless.

This is the show where all the questions have been asked

to 100 people before the show and all our contestants have to do

is come up with the answers no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Claire from Kenilworth in Warwickshire.

This is my son William. He's at Bristol University.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Martin.

This is my girlfriend Ailsa and we are from Dundee in Scotland.

Couple number three.

I'm Aisleen, this is my friend Amy, and we've come down from Ipswich.

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Tim and this is Duncan, and we are from London.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If knowledge is power, then this man would be King Kong

strapped to 16 great white sharks, 46 lions, a T-rex and Jason Statham.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hello.

Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

Good day to you.

-And to you.

-What a show last time. Amazing, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

We had that amazing head-to-head first.

Martin and Ailsa were in it and played against Kris and Paul.

Every question in the head-to-head was the best answer on the board.

No-one could have done anything about it.

Then the boys went through.

Had a question about The Beatles White Album. Two pointless answers.

Mentioned four pointless answers during it as well.

£5,750 they walked away with, didn't they?

-A really terrific performance throughout, wasn't it?

-Hmm.

As I say, Martin and Ailsa back.

We've also got... Amy and Aisleen are back as well.

Got knocked out in Round One, so we need to see a little

bit more of you this time, if that's all right.

Thanks very much.

As you've gathered, Paul and Kris won the jackpot last time.

So today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, all you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated. That's it.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

Africa.

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who's going second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Mainland African countries whose names start with a consonant.

-Richard.

-Yes, we're looking for any country on the mainland of Africa

whose usual short form name in English

begins with a consonant, please.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that is a member of the UN in its own right.

Thank you very much indeed. William.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

-Thank you.

-You're at Bristol University.

-Yes.

-What are you studying?

-Chemistry.

What year are you in?

I'm in my final year, so just finishing up now.

-Are you sad to be leaving?

-Yes, yes.

-It's been a good three years?

-It's great being a student.

-Very good.

And what have you got up to apart from your chemistry degree?

I'm quite into my photography, so whenever I get chance

I go around Bristol, like, landscapes, especially the bridge.

-Clifton Suspension Bridge.

-Absolutely.

You've got a whole sling of cameras, lots of them,

-and you decide which one is going to suit them?

-Yeah.

-Or my lens.

-Suit the mood best.

Very good. Now, William...

African geography. How good is your African geography?

And indeed your alphabet?

It's OK. I've got one in mind. I'm going to go for Guyana.

Guyana, says William. Guyana.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Guyana.

Ooh. I'm sorry, William.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Always tough on that first podium there,

but that scores you 100 points.

Sorry, William. It is a country,

and G is a consonant, I'm giving you that,

but it's in South America, Guyana.

I'm sorry.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, then, Ailsa, welcome back.

-Hi.

-Welcome back. What a head-to-head that was.

I mean, there were some amazing low scores going around there.

Remind us what you do, Ailsa.

-I'm an art teacher.

-Lovely.

And does that exhaust your interest in art or do you

find you still have plenty of interest left for holidays?

It does somewhat.

I suppose all your creative influence does

go into the children instead of doing it yourself.

I'm slightly worried about if an art question comes up,

sort of embarrass myself, but...

I'm sure you won't. I'm sure you won't.

Now, Ailsa, what are you going to go for?

I think I might go for the Pointless favourite

-and say Central African Republic.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Why would you not?

-Yeah, got the opportunity, why not?

Why would you ever not? Central African Republic.

We know where it normally ends up. Let's see where it ends up today.

Central African Republic, how many people said it?

It is, of course, right.

-12!

-It's more popular now.

Working its way up the tower. Central African Republic.

-12 points, how about that?

-Getting popular, eh?

It's not like the old days, isn't it?

-We were... We liked it in the early days, didn't we?

-Yeah.

It's far too popular now.

We should have a club of people who've said Central African Republic

as an answer. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Meet up every now and again.

But where would we meet?

LAUGHTER

-Kettering.

-Perfect.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Aisleen, welcome back.

It was Round One we said goodbye to you last time.

-Uh-huh.

-Far too soon. Remind us about yourself, Aisleen.

Well, I work in travel marketing and I live near Ipswich

and this is my friend Amy.

And how long have you been in travel marketing for?

-Hmm, about nine months.

-Oh, I see. So relatively new?

Yeah, quite a new job.

Do you prefer it to the previous job, the PR job you did before?

Yes. Words can't describe how much more I like my current job.

Is that how brilliant your current job is

or how awful your last job was?

-Um, bit of both.

-Little bit of both.

-Doesn't Amy work where you used to work?

-Yes, I did.

-No...

She did. She did and then we both left.

Good stuff. Now, Aisleen, what are you going to go for?

-Um...

-Surely this plays to your strengths, Aisleen.

It should do, shouldn't it?

It would be embarrassing if it doesn't.

But Richard confused me because he mentioned that UN

sovereign state thing again and I always doubt myself. So...

But I think I'm just going to go for Chad.

Chad, says Aisleen. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Chad.

It's right.

That's a great answer. 15, very well done indeed.

-Hurrah.

-Well done.

15 for Chad.

Well played, Aisleen. Yeah, very good answer.

It's a sovereign state, it's recognised by the UN and everything.

-Thanks very much indeed. So, then, Duncan.

-Hello.

Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Duncan?

I work for a small charity that promotes...

Well, it helps people without access to dental care.

-And what are your interests, Duncan?

-Cycling.

Very good. A good interest to have.

And how seriously do you take your cycling?

I cycle to work every day and I like doing tours.

I've done...cycled to Paris from London, things like that.

Good for you. OK, now, Duncan, what are you going to go for?

I think I'm going to go for Lesotho.

Lesotho, says Duncan.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Lesotho.

It's right of course.

Another Pointless favourite, Lesotho.

Always good for a low score.

Where is it going to end up today?

7! Very well done indeed.

7 for Lesotho.

Yeah, very good answer.

It's one of the few African countries that regularly sees snow.

It's very mountainous.

Very inaccessible as well.

Most places you can reach by only on foot or on a plane.

-Can you do skiing in Lesotho?

-Yes.

-Snowmen?

-Snowmen?

-Yes, you can do snowmen.

-Snowballs, all of that?

-Yeah, snowballs.

-That's good.

-Ice-skating.

So one of the few places where you can sell mulled wine

in that continent.

Yeah. Certainly if you've got the mulled wine

concession for the whole of Africa, that is where I would head.

Yeah, we had one in Equatorial Guinea and that...

-Didn't do well, did it?

-I'm not going to say it was a triumph.

-Yeah, it wasn't great, was it?

-Yeah.

I remember we were briefly branded as the Algerian Mulled Wine Company.

-That's right.

-And, uh...

-Can I just commend

both of us for picking countries starting with vowels there?

-We did well, right?

-It's almost like we've learned something.

-We have been making this show a long time.

-Yeah.

Back in the old days we would have lively said any country that

-came into our mind.

-Yeah.

-There we go. Thank you very much indeed.

-It's a pleasure.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

7 was our lowest score of that pass.

Very well done, Duncan, good for you.

Then up to 12 where we find Ailsa and Martin.

Up to 15, Aisleen and Amy.

And then, oh, I'm sorry, William and Claire, 100 points to you.

Best of look, Claire. We need a nice low-scoring answer from you.

It has to be really very, very low.

Preferably a minus score.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Tim, welcome.

Tim, what do you do?

-I also work in dental public health actually, as well.

-Randomly.

-We don't know each other through that.

-You don't know each other

through working in oral health? How do you know each other?

Just...

We went to university together and had lots of mutual friends

and when we moved to London I think we bonded over...

So, hang on, you don't know each other through dental health,

you went to university together

but you don't know each other from university.

-You know each other...

-From mutual friends.

Well, that's fair enough, I suppose. Fair enough.

And what are your interests, Tim?

-I'm really into music.

-Yes.

And I'm really into my biking and some painting and art as well.

Do you know each other through cycling?

-Yes, really, yes, I suppose.

-Good.

I'm glad. I'm glad we established that. So, yes, your music.

What kind of music do you like?

Well, I like all sorts,

but I play in a band that gigs around London called Tiger Moth.

-Tiger Moth.

-Check them out at a venue near you.

-Yeah, we know about Tiger Moth.

-Oh, I love Tiger Moth.

And remind me, what do you play for Tiger Moth?

I don't think I've ever seen you live but...

Well, we'll put you on the guest list, mate. Erm...

I play guitar, I do bit of singing. We swap around instruments a bit.

We play a unique blend of world gypsy folk punk.

That's my favourite kind of music, world gypsy folk punk!

-LAUGHTER

-You should have seen us, then.

Yeah, wyps-yunk! I love that.

Anyway, listen, there you are. You're on 7.

Looking pretty strong at this point, I have to say.

If you can score 92 or less, you are into the next round.

In which case, I might plump for Burundi.

-Burundi. Oh, they're good on that fourth podium.

-Hmm, very good.

Well, let's find out, maybe they're not.

Let's see where that red line comes. Nice and high.

If you can get below that with Burundi, you are in Round Two.

It's right, and you are through. Very well done indeed.

Well, 7 was what Duncan scored for Lesotho.

Burundi scores 3.

Best score so far.

Well played, Tim.

10 is your total. Our lowest total as well.

Yeah, terrific answer. Very well played.

Exactly what you needed to do.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Amy.

-Hi.

-Welcome back.

Remind us what you do.

-We know what you do, you used to work with Aisleen...

-I did.

..and then you both left under a cloud after Aisleen...

I didn't leave under a cloud!

-Oh, you didn't?!

-LAUGHING:

-Not me.

-I don't think you did either, but...

-No.

-No, I'm now a project manager for a recruitment agency.

-I see.

Very good. And there were no clouds involved.

-No.

-That was just a bit of fun.

But you should have seen her reaction!

LAUGHTER

Now, Amy, tell us other things about you.

-Um, I got married in Las Vegas.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

Had my wedding broadcast on the internet.

-That was fun.

-Yeah.

-Did you have lots of friends there

or did you do it...

We had my family, his family and one of my friends there as well,

so there was about 11 or 12 of us in total.

And Elvis, presumably.

-No. It's very expensive to have Elvis there.

-Well, I can see why.

What with him being dead and all.

Bringing him back from the dead, obviously.

No, we got married in a chapel at the MGM Grand

and then we had a stretch Hummer limo take us up and down the strip

for a couple of hours to have some photos.

Wow, that's brilliant. So there we are.

Now, Amy, you are on 15.

Again, looking pretty strong at this point.

-84 or less gets you through.

-Well, my first two thoughts

have been gone.

I was going to go for Central African Republic

and then I was going to go for Chad.

Um, I am going to take a guess and try

and keep for a low score and go for Guinea-Bissau.

Guinea-Bissau, says Amy. Guinea-Bissau.

Here is your red line, nice and high.

Get below that with Guinea-Bissau and you're into Round Two.

-If that was a guess, it was a very good one.

-Yes!

It takes you straight through.

Down it...

..goes to one!

Our lowest score of the round so far, Amy.

Very, very well done indeed.

Guinea-Bissau,

taking your total up to 16.

Terrific answer, Amy. Very well played. Such a good answer.

I genuinely don't understand why that company fired you. I just think...

LAUGHTER

..if there's someone that bright, you think, "Keep them on."

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Martin, welcome back. Remind us what you do, Martin.

A project engineer up in an oil company in Aberdeen.

-So are you working offshore or are you...?

-No, office-based.

Office-based. And what are your interests, Martin?

I like to do a lot of climbing and abseiling.

Which is the most challenging climb you've done?

Not very many at all.

It's probably just doing the lead climbing where you're going up

and tying on behind yourself, so if you do fall, you are going to...

You can fall quite a way.

But I've never climbed any good heights,

-I just enjoy the outside aspect of it.

-Very good.

Now, Martin, again, lovely low score there

from Ailsa in the first pass.

So if you can score 87 or less, you're home and dry.

The answer I want to give I'm just not 100% if it's an island or not,

so I think I'll go for another Pointless staple and try

and try and beat Ailsa's with the Democratic Public of Congo.

Democratic Republic of Congo, says Martin. Here is your red line.

Again, nice and high.

Get below that with the Democratic Republic of Congo

and you are into Round Two.

It's right and you are through. Look at that, very well done.

Come on, 12 to beat.

Ah! 5!

Very well done indeed.

5, taking your total up to 17.

Good answer.

That's a very good answer.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone just go,

"Ahh!" to their partner after they've got a good answer.

That's... LAUGHTER

Ailsa, I sometimes think maybe you are long-suffering.

Would that be right?

He doesn't often beat me, so he's taken the chance.

-That's a good time to do it.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Claire, I'm so sorry.

-I'm so sorry. Guyana has left you high and dry.

-I know.

I'm sorry. But, anyway, welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Tell us about yourself, Claire.

Well, I used to be a catering manager. I don't work now.

I do some voluntary charity work for a Warwickshire-based

company for children that need an older friend for a few hours

a week to give them one-to-one time.

Um, so that fills my time.

Dog walking.

I've got a big dog that needs about two hours walking...

Big dog. What is a big dog?

Well, he's a Hungarian vizsla.

-That's an enormous dog.

-It's not enormous but...

On the column, where does it come down? Sort of about 62?

CHUCKLING

-Guyana.

-Oh, it's sort of Guyana? That's a massive dog. Wow.

LAUGHTER

Wow. I mean, you know...

Or a little Lesotho, that's sort of manageable.

-I think a Guinea-Bissau is too small.

-Oh, too small for me, yeah.

Yeah.

Very good. So, Claire, what are you going to go for?

-I'll try Mauritania.

-Mauritania, says Claire.

No red line for you, I'm afraid, as you are the high-scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said Mauritania.

It's right.

Look at that, 2! The second-lowest score of the whole round, Claire.

2. But I'm afraid it takes your total up to 102,

-which is an unbeatable high score.

-It's a terrific answer, Claire.

A very good way to leave us.

It promises great things for next time. Especially because...

Actually, there's no pointless answers at all and there's only

one that would have scored 1 point, Amy, that was Guinea-Bissau.

It's the best answer you could have given.

Mauritania is the next best. There's only two with 2 points -

Mauritania and Senegal.

So it's a terrific answer, well done.

3 points for Guinea. 3 points for Cote d'Ivoire.

You'd have got 4 for Djibouti, South Sudan, Togo,

Benin and Burkina Faso.

Also, Cameroon 4.

And 5 for Malawi and Swaziland.

8 for Gabon, 8 for Sierra Leone. And those were the low-scorers.

We'll take a look at the high-scorers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Kenya would have scored you 33.

South Africa, 36.

And Nigeria 36 as well. So tied for the lead there.

Thank you very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home

with our high score of 102, I'm sorry, Claire and William.

-Oh, dear. William, I know what you meant to say.

-Ghana.

-Yeah.

What did Ghana score?

Ghana would have garnered you 23 points,

-so still would have seen you knocked out, actually.

-There we are.

Well, as Richard says, it bodes very well for next time.

We look forward to that. Claire and William,

-thanks very much indeed for playing.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round we will have to say goodbye

to another pair. But congratulations to all three pairs.

Tim and Duncan, our lowest combined score. Very well done indeed.

Amy, our lowest individual score,

Guinea-Bissau, superb answer.

And congratulations, Martin and Ailsa,

for the fantastic competitive spirit within the pair.

Very good to see. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Albums. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Now That's What I Call Music! albums.

On each board we're going to show you six songs.

They were all on one of the first three

Now That's What I Call Music! albums.

We just need you to tell us the name of the act who sang the song, please.

There's going to be six on the first board, six on the second.

12 in all to have a go at home.

OK. We're looking for the artists who had hits with these songs.

Here is our first board of six.

I'll read them again.

Martin.

-Whoa.

-How are we feeling about this?

Not too confident at the moment. I know the top two, I think.

Of those two I'm going to have to say Culture Club.

-For?

-Sorry, Karma Chameleon.

Karma Chameleon, Culture Club, says Martin. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Culture Club.

-It's right.

-Pff.

51.

It could be a lot worse.

51 for Culture Club.

Yeah, that was on the very first Now That's What I Call Music! album.

Thanks very much. Now, Amy.

'90s pop music is a lot better for me than '80s music, I have to say.

Um...

I know the top four songs. I can't think who on earth sang them.

So I'm going to have to go with the only one that

I know, which is Radio Ga Ga and Queen.

Queen. Well, tactically, that was probably a good thing to do

cos Tim now has his head in his hands. Queen, says Amy.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

85.

It's a lot better than 100 though.

85 for Queen.

Yeah, that's a big scorer.

That was on the second Now That's What I Call Music! album.

Fair play to everyone who was very young, everyone who was very young.

And no-one has yet said, "It's before my time," so that's good.

-Well done.

-That's very impressive.

So, Tim, I'm sorry. I saw that look of pain.

You're the last person to have this board.

-Do you want to talk us through it?

-I know the middle two songs.

I can sing them but I don't know who sang them.

And I'm just going to say

Mike And The Mechanics, Time After Time.

Mike + The Mechanics, says Tim. Well, let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many people said Mike + The Mechanics.

Sorry, Tim. I think you knew that.

An incorrect answer there.

Scores you 100 points, I'm sorry.

Yeah, sorry, tough if the two you knew had gone.

And this is much more our era cos we're both old men.

-Yeah.

-Do you remember What Is Love?

-Howard Jones.

-Howard Jones, yes.

I can tell you, that means so much to anyone over 40

-and so little to anyone under 40.

-Never heard of him.

-Time After Time.

-Cyndi Lauper.

-Cyndi Lauper, yes.

Would have scored you 40 points. Big scorer that.

Now, this one has been used on an advert very recently,

-Smalltown Boy.

-Bronski Beat.

-Bronski Beat.

Yeah. Jimmy Somerville's band. Would have scored you 17.

And Love Wars, best answer there.

-Womack & Womack.

-Womack & Womack.

Would have scored you 1 point as well, so very well done

-if you said that at home.

-Thank you very much.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

51, the best score of the pass, Martin, well done you.

Then up to 85 where we find Amy and Aisleen.

And then up to 100, I'm sorry, Tim and Duncan.

Do you know what though? You are not that far ahead.

You're only 15 ahead of your nearest rival.

So, Duncan, a nice low score from you on the next board

and that might keep you in the game, so best of luck with that.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Let's put six more Now songs up on the board. And here they come.

We have...

I'll read those all one last time.

Duncan, you're the high-scorers. We need a low score here.

Do you like this board more than the last?

Yeah, I do actually. I think I know...

I know the songs at least. Um...

Tim just got so excited when you said, "Yes, it's much better."

And then when you said, "I know the songs," Tim just...

-was a bit more subdued.

-TIM LAUGHS

Um, I know Red Red Wine was UB40.

UB40, says Duncan, for Red Red Wine.

Let's see if our 100 people agree.

No red line for you, I'm afraid, as you are the high-scorers.

It's right.

61.

APPLAUSE

-61 for UB40.

-Yeah.

Written by Neil Diamond, Red Red Wine

and that was on the very first Now That's What I Call Music! album.

It was the third track on side one.

-Side one. Side one of four sides, of course.

-Yeah.

An awful lot of people now at home going, "What do you mean side one?

"What do you mean? I don't understand what you mean."

Oh, well. Aisleen, sorry.

Listening to a couple of old men reminiscing.

We might as well be talking about the Boer War.

There you are. You're on 85.

You have to score 75 or less to stay in the game.

-Aisleen, you're not looking happy.

-No! I have no idea.

Hmm. Because I know the songs, obviously,

but I don't know who did it.

Um, I keep looking at Against All Odds...

..and the person I think it is,

I'm not sure if it was while he was in a band or solo,

so I'm probably going to be completely wrong.

I just don't know. Um...

Oh, I don't know. Was it Genesis?

OK, you're going to go for Genesis for Against All Odds.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Here's your red line.

-Ooh, I'm sorry.

-That was a long wait.

I'm afraid not Genesis. Takes your total up to 185.

-I'm sorry.

-Sorry, Aisleen.

I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Ailsa, great news.

You're through to the head-to-head, but what about that board?

Talk us through it. Fill in the gaps.

Yeah, the first board, I think, was better for me,

but I think I only know two.

The Total Eclipse Of The Heart I think is Bonnie Tyler

and Against All Odds is Phil Collins.

I think I'll go Bonnie Tyler for Total Eclipse Of The Heart.

Bonnie Tyler for Total Eclipse Of The Heart.

Let's see if it's right. No red line. You're already through.

Let's see how many people said Bonnie Tyler.

It's right.

75, it scores.

APPLAUSE

126 is your total.

Yeah, a great song. Very good answer. Well played.

Actually, Phil Collins would have been a much better scorer.

-So, it would have scored 36.

-Wow.

So, Aisleen, you were presumably thinking,

-"Do I say Genesis or do I say Phil Collins?"

-Yeah.

Yeah, unlucky.

-Um, Modern Love.

-David Bowie.

-David Bowie. Low scorer. 8 points.

Now, before we reveal the name of this next group,

I want you to tell us, after you hear the name of this group,

if you have heard of this group.

And if you haven't heard of this group, that's it for me. I'm done.

-Too Shy.

-Kajagoogoo.

-Kajagoogoo.

-Yes, I've heard of Kajagoogoo.

-Hey! There we go. That's good.

Would have scored you 29 points.

Now, this bottom answer is a pointless answer.

-It's a Dutch band. Do you remember?

-I do remember.

Do you remember what they were called?

No. It was a funny name, though.

-They were called The Art Company.

-The Art Company.

It's on the third album. It's a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home...

-I'm so sorry, Aisleen and Amy.

-Phil Collins!

-Oh, Phil Collins.

And you'd have been sailing through.

That would have been a wonderful score.

Probably the lowest of the round. In fact, it would have been.

-Oh, well.

-Drat!

-It's been fun.

-Yeah.

It's been lovely to have you on.

I'm so sorry we have to say goodbye now.

But thanks very much indeed. Aisleen and Amy, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Martin and Ailsa, Tim and Duncan.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

Well, Martin and Ailsa, you've been here before.

You were in the head-to-head last time.

Very strong performance.

But then you weren't our lowest-scoring pair.

Tim and Duncan, our low-scoring pair in Round One.

Martin and Ailsa, our low-scoring pair in Round Two.

This will be very close. Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

First Names Of Sitcom Characters. Richard.

I'll show you five images now of characters from sitcoms.

You just need to tell us their first names, please.

OK, let's reveal our five sitcom characters.

And here they come. We've got...

There we are. Five sitcom characters.

Now, Martin and Ailsa, you've been our low scorers so far

so you will go first.

Um, I think we'll go for D, Penny.

D, Penny say Martin and Ailsa.

D, Penny. Now, Tim and Duncan, the board's all yours.

Well, that was...that was pretty confident,

-so I guess...

-That's the one we don't know, basically.

Um, I think we're going to go...

We know Victor Meldrew and Manuel, but we'll go for Niles...

-B, Niles.

-..for B.

-B, Niles. So, we have Penny and Niles.

Martin and Ailsa went for Penny for D.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said Penny.

It's right.

-19.

-APPLAUSE

19. Now, Tim and Duncan have said Niles for B.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Niles.

It's right.

-Ooh! 24. Very close indeed.

-APPLAUSE

-Two good answers there.

-A lot better than I thought.

I suspect probably the best on the board.

But, Martin and Ailsa, you just pipped them,

which means, after one question, you're up one-nil.

Yeah, it's Penny from the brilliant Big Bang Theory.

A is Victor, of course. Victor Meldrew.

62 points for that.

C is Nessa or Vanessa.

Would have scored you 32. Ruth Jones there in Gavin & Stacey.

And E is Manuel.

And that would have scored you 68 points.

Thank you very much indeed. So, here comes your second question.

Tim and Duncan, you have to win this one to stay in the game,

but you get to answer it first. Good luck. It concerns...

German Words. Richard.

We'll show you five definitions now of German words

which we use commonly in the English language,

but we're just going to give you the first letter of each.

-Can you tell us what they are, please?

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Tim and Duncan will go first.

-WHISPERS:

-I don't know political ones.

-No, no, no.

-Shall we go with Schadenfreude?

-Yeah.

-I think I'll get higher eventually.

-Yeah?

-After you.

We know a few. We think we know a few, anyway.

We're going to go for the top one, which is Schadenfreude.

Schadenfreude say Tim and Duncan. Schadenfreude.

Now, Martin and Ailsa, over to you.

Talk us through the board.

We know the two...

Probably the most obvious ones - poltergeist and doppelganger.

I think doppelganger. Or do you want to guess for...?

-No, let's go for doppelganger.

-Doppelganger it is.

OK, you're going to go for doppelganger?

So, we have Schadenfreude and doppelganger.

Tim and Duncan went for Schadenfreude.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

-23 for Schadenfreude.

-APPLAUSE

Martin and Ailsa have gone for doppelganger.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said doppelganger.

It's right.

-74 for doppelganger.

-APPLAUSE

Well done, Tim and Duncan. After two questions, it's one-all.

-Wonderful word, doppelganger, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

One of my favourite words.

Poltergeist, you were quite right about,

but would have scored even more points.

Would have scored you 86.

-The one at the bottom is realpolitik.

-Realpolitik.

-Yeah.

Would have scored you 6 points. Would have been a very good answer.

And this last one. Do you know, this is a pointless answer.

Not a word I've come across before. It's a festschrift.

Very well done if you said that. Festschrift.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

'Tin' Questions. Richard.

We'll give you five clues now to answers

all of which contain the word tin in them.

Can you tell us the most obscure answer from these, please?

Very best of luck, both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one final time.

There we are. Now, Martin and Ailsa, you will go first.

-SHE LAUGHS

-OK, um...

I think we'll go for the top one, the play,

and say Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof say Martin and Ailsa.

Tim and Duncan, talk us through the board if you can.

Um, so, the New York...

The New York street is going to be Tin Pan Alley

and obviously Tin Man in The Wizard Of Oz,

but nothing... Dunc's got a good answer for this one.

I think it's Tintern Abbey.

Tintern Abbey say Tim and Duncan.

Tintern Abbey for the Wordsworth poem.

Martin and Ailsa went for Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-Not bad. 34.

-APPLAUSE

34 for Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

Now, Tim and Duncan have gone for Tintern Abbey.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Wins you the points.

Well done. Through to the final, you go.

6 for Tintern Abbey.

And it means, after three questions,

Tim and Duncan are through to the final, two-one.

Terrific answer, guys.

It's not actually the best answer on the board.

The best answer is the Small Faces song and it's Tin Soldier.

Would have scored you 3 points.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Tin Pan Alley, you're right about, but would have scored you 27.

And it is the Tin Man, of course.

That's the biggest scorer of all with 75.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, is Martin and Ailsa.

Two head-to-heads in consecutive shows is not bad at all.

Nothing wrong with any of your answers.

Just, yeah, Tintern Abbey came riding to Duncan's rescue there.

We have to say goodbye. It's been great having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing. Martin and Ailsa.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Tim and Duncan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Tim and Duncan. You fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

There it is.

Well, very, very strong first round.

Not quite as strong in the second, but back in the head-to-head.

Actually, you came from one-nil down and then soared through.

Tintern Abbey just at the last minute there, Duncan.

Very, very well done.

Yeah, I did English literature at A-level and that saved my bacon.

There you are.

Very good. What do you want to see come up in this last round?

-Maybe the iodine trade.

-The iodine trade?

-The iodine trade, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Maybe.

-Duncan?

-Football.

-Iodine and football.

Perfect. Just brilliant.

Well, you get to choose your category

from the four we put up on the board.

Let's see what today's selection looks like.

Let's hope there's something you like.

None of them really stand out to me, but I think songwriters,

-we'd be quite good at, I think.

-Yeah.

The others are awful, so let's go for songwriters.

-Yeah.

-Songwriters it is. OK. Rich.

There's a couple of categories you'll have a chance with.

We're looking for any of the following.

We're looking for anyone who, in 2011,

was named one of the best ten songwriters of all time

in Rolling Stone magazine.

When there are groups of songwriters,

we'll accept all of them as individual names.

We're looking for any artist who Cathy Dennis has written

a number one single for in the UK charts.

Or we're looking for any song written by George Harrison

on any of the 12 original Beatles studio albums between 1963 and 1970.

So, anyone on the top songwriters top ten list in Rolling Stone,

number one artist with Cathy Dennis songs

and George Harrison-penned Beatles tracks

on any of their 12 studio albums between '63 and '70.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

As always, you've got one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-I think so.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Cathy Dennis - I know Kylie Minogue had one.

-OK.

-Can't Get You Out Of My Head.

-She wrote Toxic with Britney Spears.

-Might be quite high-scoring.

-Yeah.

Top ten songwriters -

is there any obscure ones there maybe that didn't perform?

-Someone like Burt Bacharach?

-Bacharach could be up there, yeah.

Songwriting teams?

Lennon and McCartney would be the obvious one.

There can't be many in the top ten that would be pointless.

George Harrison songs. What's the two? There's two...

-Here Comes The Sun.

-Here Comes The Sun. What was the...?

There's two big ones, isn't there?

-HE CLEARS THROAT

-I'm not sure.

I'm not so hot on The Beatles.

Right, what are we going for? We're going for Kylie?

Kylie, yeah.

-Bacharach.

-Go for Burt Bacharach.

I don't know who else would be in the top ten.

Um...

-Will people know that Britney Spears...?

-Maybe not.

Maybe that's a bit obscure. Yeah, we'll go for those two.

-Ten seconds left.

-That's three.

-That's three, OK.

-Yeah.

Any else from songwriters?

I can't think of any.

Can't think. We've got those three.

OK, that is your time up.

Let's have your three answers

and if you could say which category, that'd be great.

-The top songwriter's Burt Bacharach.

-Burt Bacharach.

We've got two in the Cathy Dennis number one artists.

-So, it's Britney...Britney Spears.

-Britney Spears.

-She wrote Toxic.

-And Kylie Minogue.

-And Kylie Minogue.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Kylie? Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Kylie.

OK, I'll put Kylie last. Least likely to be pointless?

Burt Bacharach, actually thinking about it...

-He's quite famous, isn't he?

-He's quite famous,

but is he really in the top ten songwriters?

-Yeah. Why not?

-I don't think he is, but we'll go with that first.

Shall we put him first? Burt Bacharach first.

-OK, so, Burt Bacharach, Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue.

-Yeah.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We've got Burt Bacharach, Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue.

Well, best of luck.

Three good answers up there on the board.

Let's hope one of those wins that jackpot for you.

What would you do with a grand if you won it, Tim?

I'm thinking of having a little pot where I collect money

to go on the first commercial trip to space.

I thought that could be a good way to start it.

Great oaks from tiny acorns, Tim. Now, Duncan, what about you?

Um, I've just bought a vintage Rolleiflex camera

for a bit too much than I should have paid for it,

so I think it will go towards...

-That'll go towards paying that back.

-Yeah.

Well, best of luck. Three good answers, as I say.

Your first was Burt Bacharach.

In this case, we were looking for Rolling Stone magazine's

top ten all-time songwriters.

Let's see if it's right. If it is, let's see if it's pointless.

If it is, it'll win you £1,000.

Oh, no! Bad luck.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer. Not Burt Bacharach.

At least, not in that top ten anyhow.

Which means only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your last two answers are both artists

who sang songs written by Cathy Dennis.

Britney Spears was your second answer.

Let's see if that's right. For £1,000, is it pointless?

Britney Spears.

It's right.

Now, Burt Bacharach, your first answer, was incorrect,

but Britney Spears - absolutely on the money.

Down Britney goes through the teens. Into single figures.

Still going down. Down it goes.

You've done it! Very well done indeed.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic. Good work. Very good indeed.

Well, congratulations.

Britney Spears was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Very well done indeed.

Yeah, very nice category there. Kylie would have scored you 8 points.

It was a correct answer, but would have scored you 8.

Burt Bacharach not in that top ten. I would have put him.

-He'd be in my top ten...

-Yeah, definitely.

..songwriters of all time, but he's not.

Let's take a look at the Rolling Stone magazine.

Let's look at the pointless answers. There's two.

Could have had Joni Mitchell or Neil Young.

Other names on that list - you've got Lennon and McCartney.

They were very big scorers.

You've got Mick Jagger and Keith Richards on it.

You've got Elton John and Bernie Taupin. They're on it.

You've also got Bob Dylan,

you've got Paul Simon and Bruce Springsteen.

Those are Rolling Stone's top ten songwriting teams

or songwriters of all time.

Let's take a look at Cathy Dennis.

Cathy Dennis has had number one singles

with seven different artists up to 2014, which is amazing stuff.

Britney Spears there was Toxic, as you said. Once by Diana Vickers.

She did Never Had A Dream Come True by S Club 7.

The Sugababes song About You Now.

She also had number one singles with Will Young, Katy Perry and Kylie.

-That's pretty impressive, that, isn't it?

-Mm.

Now, let's take a look at the George Harrison ones.

Quite a few pointless answers here.

Don't Bother Me. Only A Northern Song.

You could have had Taxman. Within You Without You.

Now, on the last show, we had a pointless answer with Piggies...

-Yeah.

-..which was from the White Album.

That would have been a pointless answer again

for the first time in Pointless history.

You also could have had Savoy Truffle,

which also was mentioned on the last show.

You also could have had For You Blue, I Me Mine,

I Want To Tell You, If I Needed Someone,

It's All Too Much, Long, Long, Long, Love You To,

Think For Yourself, You Like Me Too Much.

Lots and lots of good pointless answers there

in the George Harrison category.

Very well done if you got any of those.

And congratulations, gents, on Britney Spears winning you money.

-Great song. I love that song, actually.

-It is a great song.

It's a terrific pop song.

Bet you didn't think, when you woke up this morning,

that Britney Spears was going to give you £1,000.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players Tim and Duncan,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.