Episode 50 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one...

-Hello, I'm Nick. This is my friend John.

We've been friends for 15 years

and we met through the Rotary Club of Billericay, Mayflower.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm David. This is my sister Rebecca.

I live in West London and she lives in Surrey.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Keith.

I'm from Wigan and this is my daughter, Bernie,

who lives in London.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hi, I'm William.

This is my mum Claire, and we're from Kenilworth in Warwickshire.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His rap name is MC squared.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Afternoon, everybody. APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-They seem like a nice bunch, don't they?

-Don't they?

-Yeah, I think it's going to be fun.

-I thought you said,

"I think it's going to be fine."

-No, I think it's going to be fun.

-It's going to be fun.

-I'm sure it will be fine.

-I'm sure it'll be fine, too.

Always lovely to hear a proper Wigan accident, isn't it?

-Isn't that nice?

-One of the great accents, Keith,

-thank you for that.

-Thank you.

We've only got one pair returning from last time -

-it's Claire and William, who had a very interesting game.

-Yes.

Round One, William gave us an incorrect answer -

a slightly unfortunate incorrect answer - and knocked them out.

Claire gave us a fantastic answer,

so, even though they were knocked out in Round One,

I suspect they might be a force to be reckoned with in the show today.

Thanks very much, indeed.

Well, Tim and Duncan won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So, remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated - the highest score.

Our first category today...

Euro Pop. Can you all decide in your pairs

who is going to go first, who is going to go second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Eurovision 2014. Richard.

Yes, simply looking for any of the 26 countries that

competed in the Grand Finals at Eurovision 2014, in Copenhagen.

Marvellous. Thanks very much, indeed. John, welcome.

Very warm welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

-You're here from Billericay.

-I do indeed, yes.

Ah, the birthplace of our very own Richard Osman.

-I know, yeah.

-You understand.

What do you do in Billericay? What occupies you there, John?

Well, I'm retired now,

although I do have a hobby which kind of took over,

and became a small business.

-What was that?

-Picture-framing. I'm a picture-framer.

So, did you go off and learn picture-framing or is it something

you're just born with?

My wife and I both retired at the same time...

-Yeah.

-..and my wife was a keen artist, and went on an art course.

-It was a residential course...

-Yes.

..so I thought, "I'll go and see what's on."

-A picture-framing course.

-Perfect.

-So, what I do?

-Picture-framing.

-So she does the pictures,

-you frame them.

-Exactly, yes.

-LAUGHTER

OK, now, what are you going to go for, John?

I can see just from looking at you that you are

a keen follower of Eurovision.

Croatia.

Croatia. Let's see if that's right,

and let's see how many of our 100 said Croatia.

-Oh...

-Oh, I'm sorry, John.

-Ah! I'm sure it was.

-I'm so sorry.

Oh, it has been, I'm sure,

but I'm afraid they didn't quite make the grade.

Imagine not making the grade for Eurovision.

-I know, I know.

-That's quite something, isn't it?

100 points, I'm afraid, that scores you.

-They actually pulled out, Croatia.

-Oh, they pulled out?

-Yes, they didn't take part.

-I knew they were in it.

No, they weren't in it. LAUGHTER

That's...they pulled out. Everyone else who didn't pull out was in it.

In protest of something or just because...?

Did something go terribly wrong? Did one of them have a sore throat?

No, just in terms of taste. They just said, "We can't...

"We're not going to do it."

We're having nothing to do with this shower.

Yeah, no, they had... They cited organisational difficulties,

-but how hard is it to write a song?

-Yeah.

So, David, yes, welcome. What do you do, David?

I work in classical music.

I'm an associate artist manager, so I look after

classical musicians that perform around the world.

So, I mean, soloists, orchestras...?

Yeah, I work with two pianists, one violinist

and an orchestra conductor, as well.

So, you're sort of an agent, really?

Yes, exactly, yeah.

So, and you're getting out...

working out which concert platforms of the world require them.

Well, it is... That's part of it and then some of it is more mundane,

just, you know, who's going to pick them up from the hotel

the next morning, things like that. Logistics, as well.

I mean, classical music, it's a hell of a job, that, isn't it?

I mean, it is mostly travelling. It's a lot of hotel rooms, isn't it?

Well, that's right, of course, it's performed all around the world.

Yeah, and that's if you're lucky enough to be successful, of course.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-And some people, really,

-are very successful.

-Yeah.

-It's great.

OK, David, what are you going to go...?

I mean, do you watch Eurovision at all?

Yes, in fact we...

Well, you know, I'm not, I wouldn't describe myself as a huge fan,

but I did watch it,

and I'm getting confused in my mind between all the countries

that supplied their votes at the end,

versus the countries that actually performed on the night.

So, one that I think...

I'm almost certain performed - Lithuania.

Lithuania, says David. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Lithuania.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, my...

Well, you're in very, very good company, David and John.

Another 100 pointer, there,

I'm afraid to say.

-Really, genuinely terrific start to the show.

-Isn't it? Just great.

It's a pleasure to watch. Yeah, they got knocked out in the semifinal.

They had a song called Attention.

-Sounds good.

-Turns out it wasn't.

-Yeah... Thanks very much, indeed.

-LAUGHTER

-Now, Bernie, welcome.

-Hello.

-Lovely to have you on Pointless.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Bernie?

I work as an environmental consultant for an engineering firm.

OK, and Bernie, what you get up to when you're not doing that?

I go... I travel a lot...

erm, and go and watch a lot of live music.

-Excellent. Now, we've had two 100s, Bernie.

-Mm-hmm.

-Two 100s.

Please, let's have a correct answer.

Erm, I hate to say it,

but I didn't actually watch Eurovision this year, but I do

remember someone saying about potentially Israel being in there.

OK, Israel. Let's see if Israel is right,

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Israel.

Oh, no. Bernie.

-OK, erm...

-LAUGHTER

That's another 100 points. Cent points for Israel.

I'm sure I'm right in saying there was

a Eurovision Song Contest in 2014. LAUGHTER

-I'm almost certain, are you not?

-I'm vaguely...

-I'm sure I remember it.

-Yeah, there must have been.

No, this is quite something.

Erm, wow... Blimey, Claire.

-That's a lot of pressure here.

-No pressure, then.

Remind us, what do you do, Claire?

Well, what I did, I used to be a catering manager.

I don't do that any more, thankfully.

-What do you love doing now?

-I love walking. I like to... We like to...

My husband and I like to travel to...

round Britain, when we can, with the dog,

and stop in dog-friendly places for walking holidays, but also

travelling further afield, as well, abroad, when we get the chance.

Lovely. Did you watch the Eurovision this year?

I watched a bit at the end. I didn't see it all.

I think - I'm out on a limb here - but I think Armenia.

Armenia, says Clare.

What do you think, William?

Probably played it safe.

Well, let's see. Armenia, is it right?

How many of our 100 people said Armenia?

Look at that, Claire. Well done, you. Armenia.

At long last, a correct answer.

Down it goes, this is incredible.

Down to 8. Very well done.

-Great low score.

-APPLAUSE

Another terrific answer from you, Claire. Yeah, very well done.

They came fourth, in fact, with Not Alone.

That was the name of that song?

Their song was called Not Alone, yeah.

It was about someone who gives somebody some money

and doesn't need it to be paid back.

LAUGHTER

Very good, indeed. Thank you, Richard.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

8, the best score of the pass, Claire, very well done.

I'm going to hazard a guess that William and Claire

are going to make it into the second round.

What is going to happen with the other three pairs -

Keith, Rebecca, and Nick, I'm talking particularly to you -

is a matter of some conjecture.

I mean, who knows?

Best of luck to all those three.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-Right, now, William.

-Hi.

-We discovered last time you

were in your last year studying chemistry

-at Bristol.

-In Bristol. Mm-hmm.

-Bristol's lovely.

-Yeah.

-Will you miss it when you leave?

Definitely, yeah, cos I'm going back up to the Midlands after this,

-and doing a year in Birmingham.

-Good stuff.

-OK, so, William, what are you going to go for?

-I've got...

-Your mother has really set you up well, here.

-Yeah.

91 or less gets you through.

I've got a quite obscure one, but I'll probably save it

and just go for the winner,

who was the...Austria, I think, the bearded lady.

Austria. Austria, says William. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

There's your red line. Nice and high.

It's right, and you're through.

63.

-APPLAUSE

-71, your total.

Yes, Conchita Wurst, who, yeah,

won the competition with Rise Like A Phoenix.

I wonder what William is saving his other answer for?

He's got an answer he is saving. I don't know what...

You're going to be disappointed

if you think Round Two is the same round.

Well, actually, if he's saving it for the end,

we can have it as a little...

Right at the end of the show? That'll be nice.

-That's the sort of thing to keep people watching.

-Yeah.

That's the kind of thing you have to do.

if you want to find out what William's answer was,

why don't you keep watching till the end of the show? LAUGHTER

-We should, yeah...

-I bet it's a cracker.

It will be. It will be, it will be. Keith...

Now, then, welcome to the show. Lovely to have you here, from Wigan.

-Yeah.

-And what keeps you busy in Wigan, Keith?

Well, I retired two years ago, and since then,

I've played a lot of golf, do walking, and community work.

Excellent. And what did you do before you retired?

I worked as a technology manager for a chemical company that

made raw materials for the paints and plastics industry.

-Do you miss that at all?

-No.

-No.

I did it for 30 years, enjoyed it,

-but I'm really enjoying the retirement.

-30 years, yeah.

Very good. Good for you, Keith.

-Well, listen, you're on 100, I'm afraid.

-Yeah.

What we need is a low score.

Well, I could play safe and go for a Western European one,

but I think I'm up against strong opposition, here,

so I'm going to go Eastern Europe again, and plump for Poland.

Poland, says Keith. Poland.

No red line for you, as you're joint high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Poland. Is it right?

It is right. Very well done, indeed, Keith.

46 for Poland. 146, your total.

Well played, Keith. Donatan and Cleo, who sang We Are Slavic.

Thank you very much, indeed, Richard. Now, then, Rebecca.

Welcome to the show. Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Rebecca?

I'm a stay-at-home mum, at the moment, to two lovely children.

-How old are they?

-A two-year-old boy and a two-month-old girl.

-Wow.

That's quite a challenging age, two months. Is she sleeping?

-As much as a two-month-old does.

-Yes.

-So, not at all, then.

-LAUGHTER

-146 is the high score.

-Yes.

You are on 100, so 45 or less keeps you in the game.

Well, I actually had a Eurovision party.

-Clearly, David wasn't invited.

-LAUGHTER

So, I'm going to go for Azerbaijan.

-Azerbaijan, says Rebecca.

-Yeah.

Nick's making a face as if that was the answer he was going to give.

There's your red line. If you get below that, Rebecca,

with Azerbaijan, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said Azerbaijan.

-Well done, you're through.

-Yeah!

-That's a great answer.

-Look at that, 13.

-Brilliant, well done.

-APPLAUSE

Second-lowest score of the round, Rebecca,

very well done. 13 for Azerbaijan.

Yeah, they came 22nd, Azerbaijan, with a song called Start A Fire.

Thank you very much, indeed, Richard.

Now, Nick, welcome to the show. Lovely to have you here.

-What do you do, Nick?

-I'm a retired retailer.

I've been 40 years in the retail trade,

but now I devote my energies to charity work.

I also play tennis, big rugby supporter,

and I also go dog-training with my cocker spaniel Betty.

Very good. How old is Betty?

-Six.

-Have you been training her for six years,

-or have you just...?

-No, I took a break.

-Oh, I see. Right, OK.

-But we were so bad, we had to go back.

Sounds like she's quite hard-headed, Betty.

So, what charity work do you do, Nick?

Well, through the Rotary Club that John and I belong to,

we do a lot of events in the Billericay area -

-put on a big Christmas market every year...

-Lovely.

..and a summer festival as well.

-They're all free events for the people in the area.

-Wonderful.

Now, this is what you have to do -

45 or less, otherwise we have to say goodbye.

Did you watch...? You did have Azerbaijan, didn't you?

I did, that was going to be my guess...but I did watch it.

-You did watch it?

-We had a party as well.

I think I was halfway through my second bottle of wine

by the time the results came out.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to plump for...

-..France.

-France.

France. OK, there's your red line. France has to get you below

that red line if you're going to stay. John, what do you think?

Ah, it's Western European. It might be popular.

-I don't know. Just fingers crossed.

-Fingers crossed.

Let's see how many people said France.

-Oh, God.

-Look at that.

88 for France. Well, it was right, Nick,

but it was so wrong.

I'm afraid 88 takes your total up to 188.

-Oh, dear.

-Oh, dear.

-That's a huge score, isn't it?

-Yeah.

They were the guys...they performed that song Moustache,

about not being able to grow a moustache, and they came last.

-They came last, 26th.

-Yeah, that's why I picked them.

That is a shame, but you know what? It's actually the biggest scorer -

there isn't a bigger scorer out there.

Any more obscure ones you might have gone for?

Well, apart from the Scandinavian countries,

I would have probably... might have had a go for Italy.

Would have scored 55 points,

so would have knocked you out as well, I'm afraid.

Now, there's no pointless answers at all,

before we go to William. LAUGHTER

The best answer would have been Montenegro,

which would have scored you 7.

So, Armenia is a terrific answer, so, next best answer,

so you've done it again.

And Belarus, who sang Cheesecake, they would have scored you 11 points.

You would have got 13 for San Marino and for Slovenia,

15 for Romania, and 21 for Hungary.

Those are the best answers. We'll take a look at the high-scorers...

Germany, 74.

United Kingdom, unbelievably, 81,

and France were up at the top, 88.

-But, the round, obviously, is not over...

-It's not over yet.

..till we hear from a certain young gentleman who has a certain

piece of information that the public has been waiting for, for some time.

-Would you like to do the honours, Mr Armstrong?

-Yes.

Let's go over to William now

and find out what his answer would have been.

-William...

-It was actually going to be Azerbaijan.

-You were going to go for Azerbaijan?

-Yeah, so it's been said.

-Oh, they're all piling into Azerbaijan.

-Aren't they?

-Suddenly, everyone...

-Everyone wants a bit of that.

-They do, don't they?

Thank you very much, indeed.

So, at the end of our first round, I'm so sorry to say,

the pair heading home with a high score of 188...

It's Nick and John, I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry.

-OK.

-Azerbaijan has just

let so many people down today, hasn't it?

Well, we just have to look forward

to seeing you next time, which we shall do,

but meantime, thanks very much for playing, Nick and John.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And so now we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to

another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Well done, Claire and William,

through to Round Two for the first time.

And also our low scorers, so very well done there.

Well done, David and Rebecca. Rebecca, you went for Azerbaijan,

the country everyone wanted to say but no-one did, apart from you.

And well done, Keith and Bernie, just well done.

Our category for Round Two today is...

History. Can you all decide in your pairs,

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And who ever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

History's losers, Richard.

On each board, we are going to show you six clues,

the answers to which are some of the most famous losers in history.

Can you tell us who they are?

-There are going to be 12 in all to have a go at home.

-Thanks very much.

So who are these famous losers?

And here's our first board of six.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six clues to history's famous losers.

Rebecca.

History is an awful subject for me.

I think I know one, but it is probably quite high,

but I'll have to go for it.

I'm going to say the French military leader, Napoleon.

Napoleon, says Rebecca.

Let's see if Napoleon Bonaparte is right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

Absolutely right, of course.

73 it scores.

APPLAUSE

We're getting a lot of high scores for the French, aren't we,

-on today's show?

-Mmm.

-Goodness me.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Keith.

History is not my strong point, but I like sport.

And thinking about the "Fight of the Century,"

and I think, actually,

it was Muhammad Ali, before he then went on to beat him twice.

-so I'll say Muhammad Ali.

-Muhammad Ali, says Keith.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right. Good answer, Keith.

36.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Keith. Yes, seems a bit harsh to be including Muhammad Ali

in a round about losers, but you redressed the balance nicely there.

Thanks very much indeed.

Claire, the board is all yours, do you want to talk us

through it and fill in any of the blanks you can?

Um...

I feel I should know the racehorse. It might be one called Devon Loch.

The ski jumper is Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards. The English explorer...

is Scott.

And I'm going to go for the captain who lost

control of HMS Bounty in a munity

is Captain William Bligh.

You're going for Captain William Bligh.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Captain Bligh.

It's right.

-22.

-APPLAUSE

22 for Captain Bligh, our best score of the pass, well done.

Well played, Claire, another very good answer,

and actually a much better choice than Scott.

You were right about Scott. But he would have scored you 48 points.

You're right about Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards as well.

He would have scored you more, would have scored you 54.

But do you know what, you were right about Devon Loch too.

And that would have scored you 7 points if you had said it.

Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 22 the best score of the pass.

Very well done, Claire and William looking strong at this point.

Up to 36, Keith and Bernie,

also looking pretty safe. Rebecca and David,

out there in front on 73, so, David,

let's hope there's a nice low score on this board that you know.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board, and here they come.

We've got the...

I'll read those all one last time.

William. You want to score 50 or less to be sure

of a place in the head-to-head.

I feel like I should know the tennis one, but I'm not sure.

So I'm going to go for the Democrat who lost to George Bush, Al Gore.

Al Gore, says William. Al Gore. Here's your red line.

If you can get below that, you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see, how many people said Al Gore?

It's right.

And you're through.

-16.

-APPLAUSE

38 is your total.

Well played, William. Safe and sound.

He lost it. Of course, won the election, really, got more votes

and all sorts of things, but he was the loser.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Bernie.

History is not my strong subject,

so I was going to go for the Al Gore one.

So the only one that I could really do is the second

-wife of Henry VIII, and I'm going to say Anne Boleyn.

-Anne Boleyn.

Well, your dad scored 36, you have to score 36 to stay in the game.

There's your red line.

Let's see if you can get below that with Anne Boleyn.

It's right.

-50.

-APPLAUSE

-50 takes your total up to 86.

-Yes, big score, it is going to

-be quite exciting on that last podium, isn't it?

-Mmm.

Yes. So now, David.

You have to score 12 or less. Do you want to take us through the board?

See how many of those you can fill in.

So, I knew the first two. Of the four that remain...

I know about the monarch that was killed at the Battle of Bosworth.

That was Richard III.

But I think that would score a lot more than 12.

The tennis one, I really have no clue.

The Red Army founder, I think, was Lenin.

But I'm going to go for young pretender,

who I think was Bonnie Prince Charlie.

Bonnie Prince Charlie, says David.

Now, here's your red line, it is low,

you have to get below that with Bonnie Prince Charlie.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Will it keep David in the game?

Ooh, bad luck, 21.

21 takes your total up to 94.

Yeah, it's a good answer. Unlucky.

There is an answer up there that would have won it for you.

It's the Marxist Red Army founder,

but it wasn't Lenin, I'm afraid. It was Leon Trotsky.

Would have scored seven points.

The monarch was Richard III,

as you suggested.

That would have scored you 45.

And the tennis great - it was quite a big scorer, actually -

for Ivan Lendl, 34 points.

Thanks very much, indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid the pair heading home are David and Rebecca.

Not that high a score, and two good answers,

but, yes, that was just a...

That was a big score on the first pass for you, there, Rebecca.

Anyway, see you next time. We'll look forward to that,

but meantime, thanks very much playing,

-David and Rebecca.

-Thank you.

But for Claire and William, and Keith and Bernie,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Claire and William, Keith and Bernie,

you're now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for our jackpot, which currently stands...

at £1,000.

Well, Claire and William, what a change.

Oh... We... I mean, we've had correct answer after correct answer

from you, it's been fantastic.

And Keith and Bernie, also, great performance from you.

Only one misstep, which was Israel, but, no,

I think it's been very good indeed. All in all, very impressive.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Dogs In Films, Richard.

Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now of dogs in films.

We need you to tell us the name of the film, please.

OK, let's reveal our five dogs, and here they are. We have...

There we are. Five dogs in films.

Now, Claire and William, you've

been our low scorers throughout,

so you will go first.

-(E is Bolt.

-Is it?

(Yeah. I'm not sure about D,

(but I know C.

(C is Marley And Me.

(Are you definitely sure about E?

-(Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-OK.

-(Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-OK.)

We'll say E, Bolt.

E, Bolt, say Claire and William. E, Bolt.

Now, then, Keith and Bernie, it's all over to you.

-Talk us through the board.

-Go on, Bernie.

Erm, I know...

Well, I think I know a few.

I think A is The Artist,

B, Babe,

C, Marley and me,

and then D and E,

I wasn't sure about.

So I think we're going to

go for A, The Artist.

A, The Artist, say Keith and Bernie.

So, Claire and William went with Bolt. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said that for E.

It's right.

Very well done, indeed. 17.

17 for Bolt.

Keith and Bernie, meanwhile, have said that A is The Artist.

Let's see that's right and let's see how many people said The Artist.

It's right.

Oh, it's going to be close.

Oh, it wins. Look at that!

Very well done, indeed. 13 for The Artist.

And very well played, Keith and Bernie -

after one question, you are up one-nil.

Two very good answers there.

There's only one on the board better than it.

Babe is B, big scorer, though -

would have scored you 69.

You're right about C, as well, it's Marley And Me,

and that would have scored 45,

and the best answer, you'll be unsurprised.

is D, and it's Owen Wilson again, actually, but voicing Marmaduke...

and that would have scored you 6 points.

Well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much, indeed.

OK, here comes your second question, Claire and William.

They get to answer it first,

you have to win to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

-Defunct Olympic Sports, Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you

the names now of five former Olympic sports.

We've removed alternate letters from each of them.

-Can you fill in the gaps?

-OK, let's reveal our five ex-Olympic sports,

and here they are...

I'll read those one last time.

Keith and Bernie will go first.

(The only one I can think of is lacrosse.)

I think the only one that we can...

springs to mind, is the bottom one,

-lacrosse.

-Lacrosse.

Lacrosse, say Keith and Bernie.

Now, Claire and William, the board's all yours.

Erm, we're struggling here, but...

-the third one.

-The third one, yeah.

We'll have to go with that, I think.

Tug-of-war.

Tug-of-war, say Claire and William,

so we have lacrosse versus tug-of-war.

Keith and Bernie went for lacrosse - let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

-42.

-APPLAUSE

42. Now, Claire and William have gone for tug-of-war.

Let's see that's right and let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Well done.

Good answer, 21, tug-of-war.

Brings you back into the game, and after two questions, it's one-all.

Yeah, well played.

Britain won gold, silver and bronze in 1908 in the tug-of-war.

All of our team was made up of police officers.

Erm... Now, as so often in this round, some of these things...

There's very few words in the English language

that would actually fit them.

The top one is the best answer of all,

-and that is... Any idea? You can work out the last word.

-Swimming.

-Swimming. Can you work out the second?

-Synchronised is the second.

-Yup. Solo, absolutely.

-Solo?

-Solo synchronised swimming.

That's then... it's not synchronised.

-1 point.

-That's just solo swimming.

-LAUGHTER

Well, it's synchronised to the music,

-you see?

-Oh, I see, that's true.

-Now, this the next one there,

-you can work at the second word on this one, as well.

-Cycling.

It's cycling. Do you know the first word?

-Tandem. Yeah, Tandem cycling.

-Tandem cycling.

That would have scored you 5, and the second one from the bottom is...

-It's got a Q in it.

-Croquet.

-Croquet, yeah.

-Oh...

And that would have scored 16 points.

Thank you very much, indeed.

OK, here comes your third question. This is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through

to the final and plays for that jackpot,

so best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

-The Highway Code, Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to give you

five questions now of the sort you may need to pass your driving test,

your theory test.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

The team that does, of course, going through to play for that jackpot.

OK, let's reveal our five questions, and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Claire and William go first.

I'm leaving this one to William,

-cos I didn't know.

-Yeah,

I think the bottom one is a toucan,

cos it means two can cross,

a cyclist and a walker.

A toucan, say Claire and William. A toucan.

Now, Keith and Bernie,

talk us through the rest of the board, if you can.

The time after car horns is 8pm.

I think the shape of the "give way" sign is a triangle.

The speed limit when towing a trailer, I think, is 60mph,

and an age when an ordinary driver can supervise a learner driver,

I think, is 21.

Bernie, are you leaving it to me?

-Yeah, I'm lost on this one.

-I'll go with, erm...

the shape of a "give way" sign - a triangle.

OK, triangle, the shape of a "give way" sign.

Now, then, Claire and William said toucan.

Let's see if that's right for the crossing. Good answer if it is.

-It is a toucan.

-Well done.

Never heard of it.

Very well done, indeed, William.

Now, Keith and Bernie have said

the shape of a "give way" sign is a triangle.

Let see if that's right, and let's see how many people said triangle.

It's right. It...

Ooh, that's a high score, there.

High score, but very, very well done, Claire and William.

-William, particularly. All memories of Guyana...

-Lost.

..can be wiped clean, now.

After three questions, you are through to the next round.

-Very well done.

-Yeah, very well played, indeed, there.

Keith, you knew a few of these other ones.

You're right about the speed limit - it's 60.

Would have been better than triangle, but would have still scored you 26.

You're right about the age, as well, it's 21.

That would have scored you 61.

Now, it's the top one that would have seen you in the final -

the time after which passwords cannot be used, but it's not 8pm,

it's 11:30. 11:30 PM.

See all the car horn beeping you've been missing out on over the years?

Yeah, eh?

-We'll go on a party this weekend.

-Yeah. I was going to say,

Wigan is going to be crazy this weekend

with Keith just riding up and down at 11:18,

going, "Honk, honk."

2 points if you'd said that. Would have been a terrific answer.

Thanks. The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, it's Keith and Bernie.

But it's great news for us

cos we get to see you again next time. We'll look forward to that,

but Keith and Bernie, thanks for playing, lovely contestants.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, all the best.

-Well done.

But for Claire and William, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Claire and William.

You've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, very, very well done, indeed. We've chucked lots at you. We had...

We had Eurovision to start with, then we had History's Losers,

then we had Dogs On Film, then we had Defunct Olympic Sports,

and then we had the Highway Code,

and here you are, still standing strong, at the end of it all.

Well, as always, you get to choose your category from the four

we put up on the board. Let's see what's up there for you today.

We've got...

Wow.

-Wow, indeed. Erm...

-Yeah, the top three aren't good for us.

The top three, I don't think we can consider those.

And I know the popular bit of Shakespeare

but not too well, at all.

I think it's going to have to be the 1997 General Election.

OK, the 1997 General Election, it is. Richard.

OK, we've got one Tory question, one Lib Dem, and one Labour, for you.

We're looking for...

Any Conservative female MP who was elected in the 1997 election.

They might have been elected before, as well,

but as long as they won a seat at the '97 election.

We're looking for any Lib Dem who was elected in '97,

and was also elected in 2010, so someone who has been around

a while, or we're looking for any Labour MPs who were elected with

a majority of over 20,000 votes or more in that election.

So, Conservative female MPs, Lib Dems who were voted in,

and were subsequently voted in in 2010, as well,

or a Labour MPs with a majority of 20,000 votes or more.

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thank you very much, indeed.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just

one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds up

on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-So...

-Well, Labour MPs, I know...

I know the two Eagles,

but I don't know if they got a majority to 20,000 votes...

Angela Eagle and Maria Eagle.

Might as well go for something like that.

Who are the Lib Dems that are in now?

-Think of the obvious ones.

-I mean, Stephen Twigg was the one

that booted out Michael Portillo, wasn't he?

But I wouldn't have thought he'd have got...

Oh, yeah, Conservative females...

Conservative? Oh, gosh.

Erm, Conservative females...

OK...I think we'll go for those two Labour ones you said.

Yeah, I don't think they would have got that much of a majority, though.

-No bigger ones, then?

-Erm...

Lib Dems, I'm not good on at all.

Only the obvious ones, like Vince...

I suppose, I mean, people like... Oh, it could be any Labour...

Like Robin Cook maybe might have got a majority.

Ten seconds left.

-Robin Cook? We'll go for him and the two Eagles.

-Yeah, OK. OK.

OK, you're happy?

Well, your time is now up.

Let's hear your three answers.

They're all going to come from

the bottom one, the Labour MPs with a majority of 20,000 votes or more.

There were the two, I think, Blair's babes, there were Angela Eagle...

-Angela Eagle?

-..and Maria Eagle.

Maria Eagle.

-Robin Cook.

-And Robin Cook.

And Robin Cook. Of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Maria?

-I don't know, probably Robin Cook, cos

I don't think the other two would have had that much of a majority.

OK, Robin Cook goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Maria?

-Maria Eagle.

-Maria Eagle.

OK, well, let's put those of on the board in that order, then,

and here they are... We've got...

Well, very, very best of luck.

In all three cases, we were looking for Labour MPs elected with

a majority of 20,000 or more. Your first answer was Maria Eagle.

Only one of these has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

£1,000 - what would you do with that, Claire, if you won it?

I think it would be taken up with...

William, and Christopher, my other son,

would probably soon spent that, I think. Perhaps they'd let us...

-A nice meal, perhaps.

-Yeah, got to have a family meal.

A meal, and then the rest goes to the boys.

That's very decent of you.

William, what about you?

The last summer before...

I've got a last summer off, really, so I want to go to festivals.

I might go to Bulgaria with friends, on holiday,

-so it would help with that.

-Very good, indeed. Best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers wins that jackpot for you.

Your first answer was Maria Eagle.

Let's see if it's right, then let's see if it's pointless.

If it's both those things, you leave here with £1,000.

How many people said Maria Eagle?

No, bad luck.

Not Maria Eagle. Anyway, you put her first for a reason.

-You weren't sure about that one.

-Not at all.

Your next answer was Angela Eagle. Let's see if that's right.

If it's pointless, it will win you £1,000.

How many people said Angela Eagle?

No, bad luck.

I'm afraid, another incorrect answer.

We now move on to slightly surer ground.

You've gone with Robin Cook as your third and final answer -

the one you that was probably most likely to be pointless.

Let's find out, for £1,000, how many people said Robin Cook.

Is it pointless?

-No, it's not. Oh, I'm sorry.

-Ah...

APPLAUSE

A tough category there.

-It was tough.

-I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer, so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over on to the next show,

but we've enjoyed having you on the show - both shows.

Great performance, particularly this time,

and you get to take home a Pointless trophy, so there you are.

-Well done.

-That's what we came for.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

You've played so well, it's been terrific having you here.

I think you probably chose the right category, and stuff...

There's all different ways of just losing out on the jackpot.

We've had people losing out on the jackpot

by getting one letter wrong in a name,

or getting one word from any name.

You know, things come down to 1 point,

but this is the first time I've seen... Angela Eagle was...

Angela Eagle was elected at that election with a majority of 19,000.

-Ah, I knew she'd done well but...

-Goodness me.

Cos she was in the news a lot at the time.

And Maria Eagle, 18,000, which is also pretty close,

and Robin Cook, 11,000. All of them were... All of them were elected.

Lots and lots of pointless answers in the different categories, here.

Let's start with the Conservatives, with the female MPs.

Some big hitters here...

Oh, Virginia Bottomley?

There is Ann Winterton. You could have had Anne Macintosh,

Eleanor Laing, Julie Kirkbride, Marion Roe and Teresa Gorman.

So, lots of names that kind of, if you cast your mind back...

Some of them, of course, are still around.

Let's look at the Lib Dems. The long-serving Lib Dems...

Simon Hughes, as well, so, some proper big names there.

And Labour...

Some big names here as well,

you've got Bernie Grant, who was the MP for Tottenham...

In fact, everybody apart from Blair, Prescott, Yvette Cooper,

Dennis Skinner and Mo Mowlam, everyone else was pointless.

There's Frank Field, there's all sorts of people on the list,

None, unfortunately, that you mentioned in your 60 seconds.

Thanks, Richard. Unfortunately,

we have to say goodbye to you, Claire and William.

Been fantastic having you on the show. Thanks for playing.

-Great being here.

-Thank you.

-Great performance, Claire and William.

-APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Claire and William didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us then, to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE