Episode 23 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

A very warm welcome to Pointless,

the game where you're always striving to find the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And, couple number one.

Hello, I'm Carol.

I'm a retired account supervisor and I live in Kettering,

Northamptonshire, and this is my friend of 38 years, Gloria.

She's also retired and lives in Lincolnshire.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Jack and this is my friend Mike.

He's an IT accounts manager in Manchester and I work

-in commercial banking in London.

-Couple number three.

Hello, I'm Ben. This is my dad, Ray. He is a mobile library driver.

I'm a communications manager.

Both from Birmingham, but I live in London.

-And, finally, couple number four.

-Hi, my name is Rosalie.

I'm a retired primary school teacher and this is my husband, Wilf,

who's a retired sales supervisor and we live in Prescott on Merseyside.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

They say the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.

Here to disprove that thoroughly, it's my Pointless friend, Richard.

Hiya. Afternoon, everybody.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-Have you recovered from that last show?

-No.

It was unbelievable! Carol and Gloria, have you recovered?

-No.

-No, not really.

Rosalie and Wilf, are you well slept after that last show?

Er, yeah.

-Goodness me! Round Two was where the action took place.

-Yeah!

We had three teams, between them scored 914 points.

LAUGHTER

100, 100, 100,

100, 100, 100.

We went to lockdown...

100, 100, 100...

I had to get a new question.

I have an emergency question we keep under glass.

I've only used it once before and that's when Cannon and Ball were on.

A new question...

Then, fortunately, as Carol and Gloria

got through to the head-to-head with 306 points.

That's got to be a new record.

Poor old Rosalie! Well, 307 points.

-You only lost out by one.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, David and Mark didn't win the jackpot last time, so today's

jackpot we add another £1,000 to, and it starts off at £2,000.

There we are!

APPLAUSE

Right! If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated and, of course,

there is to be no conferring until we get to the head-to-head round.

Our first category today...

is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going

to go second? And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

HE GIGGLES

There we are. OK, Richard.

We'll show you seven clues and the answers to each one of those clues

begins with either Mister, Mrs or Miss.

You just need to tell us the most obscure answer, please.

Seven on each board,

14 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

OK, thank you. Let's reveal our first board of Misters, Mrs and Misses.

Here they are. We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

-Gloria, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Gloria.

-I'm retired.

You're retired, but what do you like getting up to?

Amateur dramatics, singing, erm...

-And I'm also a lady who lunches.

-Oh!

Have you got nice places to go and lunch?

-Yes, lovely.

-And is there a good gang of you?

-There's various gangs.

-Various different gangs.

Yes, I just go in on each one.

Have you ever lunched with one gang and found the other gang is in the same place?

That would be embarrassing!

-No, thank goodness!

-Imagine! Gang warfare, can you imagine that?

LAUGHTER

Oh! That would just be terrifying. Terrifying!

Now, Gloria, Misters, Mrs and Misses...

I know three, all of which I think will be very popular.

I think I'll go for the second one,

Simon and Garfunkel's song. It's Mrs Robinson.

Mrs Robinson, says Gloria. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Mrs Robinson.

It's right.

53.

APPLAUSE

I think that's all right. A good start to the round.

Fabulous song. Won Grammy award for Record of the Year in 1968.

A lovely cover version by the Lemonheads.

-Mm.

-Mm.

Thank you, Richard.

Jack, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

You were at university with Mike?

Yeah, both in Leeds.

-And you're now learning to be a banker?

-Yes.

-But a commercial banker?

-Yes.

-And in London?

-Yup.

-You've come down to the big smoke.

What do you like getting up to when you're not working in the bank?

Erm, probably just enjoying my sports,

watching, playing when I can, but more watching now.

And which sports are these?

Quite across-the-board really.

So, football, cricket, golf,

a bit of snooker as well, darts.

Some pub-based sports as well, aren't there?

Yeah, what we studied at uni was...

Pub-based sports. Yes, there we are!

OK, now, Jack, what are you going to go for on this board?

Well, I knew the answer just given and I know two others

that are quite obvious, but I think the children's television series is

-Mr Benn.

-Mr Benn, says Jack.

Right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mr Benn.

It's absolutely right. 53 is our only score at this juncture.

You pass it.

32.

APPLAUSE

We have a high and a low.

-That was a staple of our childhoods, wasn't it, Mr Benn?

-Mm.

Don't you think Mike and Jack look a bit like brothers?

-They do a bit.

-Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you absolutely certain you're not?

Not hand on heart, to be honest.

LAUGHTER

There we are. Thanks very much indeed.

Ray, a warm welcome to you. You drive a mobile library.

I drive it and I'm a library assistant.

So then, you run it as well? Do you have anyone else there with you?

A couple of women.

Do they sit in the passenger seat or rattle around with the books?

Watching the books fall off the shelves...

So, who do you take the library to?

We go mainly round inner-city areas where

-they haven't got a static library close to hand.

-OK, good stuff.

And, Ray, what about these Misters and Misses?

I should really go for the book ones,

but I haven't got the foggiest.

That's disgraceful!

Right, I'll go... Middle-of-the-road, the musical.

Miss Saigon.

Miss Saigon, says Ray. Miss Saigon.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Miss Saigon.

It's right. 53 is our high.

You pass it. 49.

APPLAUSE

-49 for Miss Saigon.

-Well played, Ray.

Based, of course, on Madame Butterfly. I've never seen it.

-Have you seen it?

-Never have.

-Seen it?

-Yep.

-There we go.

You know what? They might not put that on the poster.

'Good? "Yep." - Rosalie.'

-Thanks very much indeed. Wilf, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Oh! A veteran of our Round Two last time.

Remind us what you get up to, Wilf, up in Prescott.

I play badminton and go jogging with a couple of friends that have

been dogging me for years.

Now, when you play badminton, do you play in someone's garden

and put up a net or do you go to an official badminton court?

-No, I play for a club.

-Right, I see.

That's very official. You all get dressed in proper badminton things?

Well, yeah, we've got pumps.

LAUGHTER

Like I say, proper badminton things.

Wilf, you're the last person to have this board.

Why don't you talk us through it

and fill in as many of those blanks as you can?

I'm stuck between Miss Piggy and Mr Bean.

It isn't the best place to be!

LAUGHTER

And those are the only ones I know.

Mr Bean.

You're going to go for Mr Bean. Rowan Atkinson, Mr Bean.

OK. Well, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mr Bean.

It's right.

71.

APPLAUSE

Bad luck. Pretty slim pickings on that board, I'm afraid.

Great news for Gloria and Carol here at this end.

But, yes, 71 for Mr Bean.

Well, you've picked the right one of the two you knew, Wilf.

Because Miss Piggy is a much bigger scorer.

Miss Piggy would have scored you 87 points.

The timid spinster, the Cranford spinster is...

-I don't know that one.

-Miss Matty Jenkyns.

That would have scored 1 point.

It's the best answer on the board, actually.

-You'll know Elizabeth and Lydia's mother.

-Mrs Bennet.

-Mrs Bennet, of course.

-And that would have scored 16.

-Thanks very much.

We are halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

32, the best score of the pass. Jack.

And then up to 49, where we find Ray and Ben.

Up to 53, Gloria and Carol.

And then over there on the far podium, it's Wilf and Rosalie on 71.

So, Rosalie, you get first dibs on the next board.

So, make sure you find a nice low score.

We hope that keeps you in the game.

We are going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more Misters, Mrs and Misses on the board.

And here they are...

I'll read those all one final time.

Now, Rosalie, I think that looks rather a nice spread

-of Misters, Mrs and Misses.

-Indeed.

-This is good.

-Now, Rosalie, you were a primary school teacher.

-I was.

-How long ago did you retire?

-I retired at 49.

Right, did you skip out of the staffroom or was it

-a reluctant parting?

-Erm, a bit of both.

What fills your time now?

-I play badminton.

-Very good. With Wilf or...often not?

-Occasionally.

-But at the same club?

-Erm, yes.

And very often not on the same side of the net because, well,

it might get a bit heated! So, yes, I do play badminton. Yeah.

-Very good. Now, listen, you're on 71, you're the high scorers.

-OK.

-What we require from you, Rosalie, is a low score.

-OK.

I'll go with the third one down,

Sandra Bullock's film as an FBI agent. Miss Congeniality.

Miss Congeniality, says Rosalie.

No red line, obviously, as you are the high scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 said Miss Congeniality.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 41, not bad.

Not bad. 112 is your total.

Yes, followed up by Miss Congeniality 2: Armed And Fabulous.

And one of your favourite films.

-Oh! one of my, of course, Miss Congeniality!

-Fab-u-lous!

-Yeah.

-Thank you, Richard. Ben.

-Hello.

-Ben, hello and welcome.

-Thank you.

Now, what do you do, Ben?

Erm, I'm just about to start as a communications manager at the Big Lottery Fund.

Who do you communicate with, I wonder?

It's all the different community groups that kind of help people

and do a lot of good work.

Do people apply to you or do you then follow up on...?

Yeah, people apply, groups can apply for funding

-if they want to do something in their community.

-That's quite nice.

Now, Ben, you're on 49.

-If you can score 62 or less, you're into the next round.

-Yeah.

Erm, OK, so, I'm going to go with...

I'm a bit of a fan of cheesy '80s songs. Late '80s.

So, I'm going to go with the group who had a hit with Broken Wings

and Mr Mister.

Mr Mister, says Ben. Mr Mister. Here's your red line.

Get below that with Mr Mister and you are into Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Mr Mister.

It's right.

You are through.

APPLAUSE 21!

Taking your total up to a lovely round 70.

Almost one of those classic one-hit wonders, Mr Mister,

but they're actually a classic two-hit wonder.

-Because they also did that song, Kyrie.

-Oh, yes! So they did.

-So, they had two massive hits.

-There we are. Thank you.

-OK, now, Mike.

-Hi there.

Ah, Mike, welcome, welcome.

Well, your brother

set you up very well on 32.

It's just a walk in the park for you.

79 is all you have to get, but before you do that,

tell us what you do now you've graduated from Leeds.

I'm an account manager for an IT firm.

Aside from that, what do you get up to, Mike?

A bit like Jack really, anything that involves watching sport in

a pub normally goes down quite well.

Try to be active. Normally, not.

If you had to be active, Mike, with about five minutes' notice,

-what's the activity you would plump for?

-Probably football.

-Decent-ish at football. Everything else, I'd say below par.

-OK.

What are you going to go for on this board?

As I say, 79. I mean, that should be, that should be easy.

I actually only know two on there.

Just trying to work out which will be the lowest.

I'm going to go for everyone's favourite

pink and yellow character, Mr Blobby.

Someone had to mention it, didn't they? OK, Mr Blobby.

There's your red line. If you can get below that,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mr Blobby.

Well done. Oh!

76. By the skin of your teeth!

APPLAUSE

108 is your total.

He, fortunately, was a one-hit wonder, Mr Blobby.

I think he did have a follow-up single,

-but it didn't really trouble the scorers.

-No.

Mr Blobby to Noel Edmonds is a bit like you are with Ben Miller.

LAUGHTER

I don't mean that at all.

-I don't mean that at all, I just couldn't resist it.

-There we go.

Yeah, thank you. I'm not going to pry too much further into that.

Now, Carol, this, I think, will go very well.

Please can this go well?

But before we do that, remind me where you're from, Carol.

-From Kettering in Northamptonshire.

-Carol from Kettering, of course.

What do you get up to in Kettering, Carol?

I like gardening, reading, films, theatre

and I'm also the secretary of a charity group who entertain

-the blind and partially-sighted people in the area.

-Very good.

-What are they called?

-It's called Torch.

-Torch. Very good.

What sort of gardener are you? Are you a kitchen gardener?

-Do you grow vegetables for the table?

-Oh, no, no, no.

-Just purely flowers and a lot of them in pots.

-Very good.

-Not so much weeding.

-Not so much weeding.

-And you can bring them indoors, exactly.

-Yes.

-When it gets cold.

-OK, now, Carol, there is your board.

-It's which one to go for, really.

I think I'll go for the second one, Mr T.

Mr T, says Carol. Mr T.

There is your red line. Get below that with Mr T

and you are into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Mr T.

It's right.

You've... Oh!

-59.

-Oh.

Oh, this is exciting. This is very exciting indeed!

That means you have scored... Your total is 112.

Oh, and Rosalie and Wilf have 112 too.

Our two returning pairs have brought...

LAUGHTER

Have brought the ghost of lockdown back!

I cannot believe it.

OK. Right. Well, so we are in a state of lockdown. It is a tie.

Carol and Gloria, and Wilf and Rosalie,

you can now confer

and I want you each to give me your best answer.

Carol and Gloria, let's have an answer from you

from the rest of the board.

-Mrs Brown.

-You're going to go for Mrs Brown.

-The bottom one.

-For the bottom one.

Mrs Brown for the bottom one, say Carol and Gloria.

Now then, Rosalie and Wilf.

-Mr Selfridge.

-Mr Selfridge.

-From which one?

-Top one.

-The top one, so the bookends, there.

Mrs Brown, Mr Selfridge. In the order they were given...

-This had better not be a draw again.

-LAUGHTER

Carol and Gloria have gone for Mrs Brown.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mrs Brown.

It's right.

59. APPLAUSE

59 takes your total up to 171.

Now then, Rosalie and Wilf have gone for Mr Selfridge.

59 is what you have to beat. Let's see how many

of our 100 said Mr Selfridge. Please can it not be 59?

LAUGHTER

It's right.

You've done it!

41 for Mr Selfridge. APPLAUSE

41, taking your total up to 153.

Oh, well done. Yeah, Rosalie and Wilf, last time you lost

in lockdown to Carol and Gloria. This time the tables are turned.

Unlucky. Now, the other answer on the board would've won the round

-for either of you. Do you know the last one?

-Miss Honey.

Miss Honey from Matilda, yeah. It would've scored you 12 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are at the end of our first round

and the pair leaving us, I'm so sorry, Carol and Gloria.

You've been such stalwarts. You played so well

throughout last time and, I mean, to go through lockdown again,

is just adding insult to injury, I'm afraid, but, sorry,

we've got to say goodbye to you now.

But, Carol and Gloria, wonderful contestants. Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it is now time for Round Two.

And so, in the way of Pointless, we are now down to three pairs

and at the end of this round, we will have to be down to two pairs.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

Artists. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second? And whoever's going first,

please, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Artists in the National Gallery's list of 30 highlight paintings.

There we are. Richard.

Yeah, the National Gallery, on its website and elsewhere,

publishes its list of 30 must-see works in their collection.

We're looking for the name of any artist who has a work

on that list, please. Give you an idea of timescale,

there's nothing on that list after 1905, everything is before then.

So any artist with a work on that list, please. Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much and there are 30 of them.

-There are 30.

-There are 30 of them. Now then, Jack.

-Yes.

-Jack.

Probably one of the worst topics we could have got.

Do you know, I bet it's not.

I think, just step back and take a deep breath...

-Well, I know a few artists' names, which helps.

-That'll do. That'll do.

-So, David Hockney, I think, is an artist.

-David Hockney.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many

of our 100 people said David Hockney.

Oh! He is an artist's name, most certainly.

Yes, I was going to say, the most recent one on that list is from

1905, I think, so David Hockney, a long time before he was born even,

let alone painting.

-Lovely artist.

-Oh, he certainly is.

Certainly is. Absolutely.

Now, Ben, who's springing to mind for you?

-I'm going to go with Constable.

-OK, Constable, says Ben.

Let's see if Constable's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Constable.

It's right.

27. APPLAUSE

Yeah, The Hay Wain is on that list of must-see works.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Rosalie, who would you like to go for?

I'll go for J M W Turner.

J M W Turner, says Rosalie. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said that, Turner.

Absolutely right. Well, 27 for Constable.

I wonder where Turner ends up?

34.

34 for Turner.

-The Fighting Temeraire is on that list.

-Thank you very much.

Now, we're halfway through the round, let's just check-up those scores.

Ben and Ray, once again, they're just doing it every time.

These two are unstoppable. 27 is your score.

34 is where we find Rosalie and Wilf

-and then, 100...

-Yeah.

-Jack and Mike.

Listen, anything could happen in the next pass, but, Mike,

we most certainly need a low score from you. So we're going to come back

down the line now. Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK. Now, Wilf, we're looking for any artist who has

a painting in the top 30 highlights of the National Gallery.

-I'm just going to say Claude Monet.

-You're going to say Monet.

Oh, and Ray was going to say that! I can't believe it.

Claude Monet says Wilf. Here's your red line.

If you can get below that with Monet, you're in the MON-EY.

That's just unforgivable, I'm so sorry.

Let's just see how many of our 100 people said Monet.

-Very well done.

-Phew!

Look at that!

19, our lowest score.

It pays to go abroad, you see. There we are. 53 is your total.

I don't want to tempt fate,

but it's beginning to look like we're NOT going to have lockdown

for about the first time in 30 or 40 years.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Ray.

Yes. Right. There's a few bouncing round.

I'll go for Van Gogh.

Van Gogh, says Ray. Van Gogh. There's your red line.

Get below that with Van Gogh and you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Van Gogh.

It's right.

Welcome to Round Three.

31.

31. 58 your total.

Sunflowers by Van Gogh is on that list.

They've got some good paintings, haven't they? In that there Gallery.

Oh, these are all paintings that are owned by the National Gallery?

-In their collection, yeah.

-Right, in that collection.

Right, now, Mike, this is a painful task for me, but I have to tell you,

you are the high scorers even before you've given your answer.

But, how cool would it be to leave

-with a pointless answer?

-Exactly.

-Wouldn't that be nice?

-Yes. It's a shame we don't have one, but...

Erm...

I'll go with Raphael.

Raphael, says Mike. Let's see if that's on that list.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers, unfortunately,

but let's see, is Raphael there and how many people said it if it is?

It is there.

You see!

You see, Mike, how easy it is to have a nice low score, 4.

There we are.

104 is your total but that's good.

Well played, Mike. I don't know if you know your art

or whether you're just a fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

but it's a good answer.

The Madonna Of The Pinks is in that collection.

Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers,

there's a few up here. Have you got any guesses here?

Yeah, I'll go for...without looking, Bruegel.

-I don't think Bruegel's there.

-Oh, no!

-You'd get 100 points for Bruegel, I'm afraid.

-Oh, I'm off. Yep.

-Imagine if that happened, I had to leave and Sue Barker came in.

-Oh!

-Just the...

-Hold on, hold on, I'm thinking about it.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, I'd love that.

-Oh, I know.

Now, Canaletto is a pointless answer. Claude, not Claude Monet.

Francois-Hubert Drouais, a pointless answer.

Giovanni Bellini, Jan Gossaert,

Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres - he's got a lot of names, hasn't he?

He does. He must take up most of the bottom of the canvas writing that.

Tiring. I'd have a short name. Paul Cezanne is a pointless answer,

as is Piero Della Francesca. Botticelli, also a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said some of those. Some big names there.

We've had all the top four big answers actually -

Monet, Constable, Van Gogh and Turner.

Thanks very much, Richard. So at the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 104,

I'm so sorry, Mike and Jack.

Listen, we saw the colour of your money there.

We know that you really know some good answers.

-Promises great things for next time, when you come back.

-Hopefully so.

Let's hope you'll go straight through to the final,

but, meanwhile, thanks for playing. Mike and Jack.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it is now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Ray and Ben, Rosalie and Wilf,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000. There we are.

APPLAUSE

Well, you know the drill,

the first pair to win two questions goes through to the final.

Well, Ray and Ben, you haven't put a foot wrong.

You haven't put a foot wrong. It's been fantastic,

and, Rosalie and Wilf,

I'm so glad we have some veterans of that campaign.

Do you know what we're going to do?

We're going to melt down the podiums and press, mint some medals

for people who are here for the great lockdown of wishing songs.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

Radio 2's list of 100 greatest guitar riffs.

Ben's rocking out already to those! Richard.

We're going to show you five images now of acts

who featured in that list. You just need to tell us

the most obscure of these, please. Best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five acts and here they are.

We've got...

There we are. Five acts featured in that list.

Ray and Ben, you've been our low scorers, so you will go first.

Yeah, OK. So...

I think we're going to go for a newer duo.

Going to go with E and The Black Keys.

The Black Keys say Ray and Ben. The Black Keys.

Now, Rosalie and Wilf, would you like to talk us

-through the rest of the board?

-I'm not sure.

I think... B is U2.

A, I think, is Franz Ferdinand, could be.

C, I know, I've got all the CDs, I can't remember what they're called.

I think we're going to go with D, Buddy Holly.

You're going to go with Buddy Holly.

OK, so we have The Black Keys and we have Buddy Holly.

Ray and Ben said The Black Keys.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Oh, look at that. 1! APPLAUSE

That's a great score!

1 for The Black Keys. Superb.

Now, Rosalie and Wilf have said that D is Buddy Holly.

D, Buddy Holly. Let's see how many of our 100 said Buddy Holly.

Well, it's right. It's got quite a way to go...

I was going to say, if it beats 1. 73 for Buddy Holly.

So, after one question, Ray and Ben are up one-nil.

Rosalie, you'd have made it much more exciting if you had said

-Franz Ferdinand.

-Oh, no.

-It would've scored three points.

-Oh!

Wouldn't have won, but it would've been a terrific answer.

Franz Ferdinand was absolutely right.

I wish he'd cheer up, that one.

LAUGHTER

B is U2, of course,

70 points for that.

-Rosalie, do you remember C yet?

-No.

-REM.

-Of course.

-REM. 32. The Black Keys.

Pat Carney, of The Black Keys, he and I follow each other on Twitter,

because we're endlessly tweeted saying we look like each other.

-He seems a very nice fellow actually.

-He is and also, look how

his double act partner is so much shorter than him.

Do you know what his double act partner does, interestingly,

while he stands up at the front?

He gets Pat Carney to sit down behind the drums.

-You see.

-That's how they do it.

-That's how they do it.

The short one stands up, the tall one sits down. We should try that.

It works. Thanks very much, Richard. OK, here comes your second question.

Rosalie and Wilf, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

-Street Questions. Richard.

-We're going to show you five clues now.

The answers to all of them contain the word street,

-you just have to give us the most obscure one.

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our clues and here they come. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Rosalie and Wilf will go first.

We're going to go with the journalist and TV presenter

Janet Street-Porter.

Janet Street-Porter, say Rosalie and Wilf.

Now then, Ray and Ben, talk us through the rest of the board.

Well, it's Downing Street,

Ralph McTell, Streets Of London,

Fleet Street.

I've got every Dylan album and my mind's gone blank!

-I'd go with Ralph McTell.

-Ralph McTell.

-OK, which was?

-Streets Of London.

-Streets Of London.

So, we have Janet Street-Porter and we have Streets Of London.

Rosalie and Wilf have said Janet Street-Porter.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Janet Street-Porter.

Oh! It's not a bad answer. Look at that.

30 for Janet Street-Porter.

Now then, Ray and Ben have gone for Streets Of London,

Ralph McTell's only UK top ten hit.

Let's see how many of our 100 said that.

It's right.

It's got to beat 30. Is it going to beat 30?

No, it's not tonight.

33 for Streets Of London. APPLAUSE

There we are. Well done, Rosalie and Wilf. Back in the game.

-After two questions it's one all.

-Good head-to-head.

Yeah, the only answer that would have beaten Janet Street-Porter

is the Bob Dylan album, which we'll get to,

but the top one is Downing Street. What do you think that scored?

I'd like to think in the 90s but probably in the 70s.

-96.

-Oh, phew!

And Fleet Street, you were right, although Fleet Street only scored 49

and Bob Dylan's 18th studio album,

4 points if you said Street Legal.

There we are. Thanks very much.

So it all comes down to this, the decider, the third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Very best of luck to both pairs and it concerns...

Countries and their capitals that share no common letters. Richard.

Yes, we're going to show you five pairs here,

a country and a capital, we're going to give the first and last letters

of each, just need to tell us what they are, please.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five countries and capitals

and here they are. We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

Now then, Ray and Ben will go first.

Right.

I know a couple of them. I'll go for the Uruguay and Montevideo.

Uruguay, Montevideo, say Ray and Ben. Uruguay, Montevideo.

Now, Rosalie and Wilf, do you want to talk us through the board?

-Start the car.

-LAUGHTER

We know Fiji but we don't know what the capital is.

The only one I know is Japan and Tokyo, at the bottom.

Is that the one you're going to go for?

OK, Japan and Tokyo.

So we have Uruguay, Montevideo. Japan and Tokyo.

Now, Ray and Ben said Montevideo and Uruguay.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It's right.

50 for Montevideo. APPLAUSE

50.

Now then, Rosalie and Wilf have gone for Tokyo and Japan.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Oh! There we go.

68. Very well done, Ray and Ben.

That was a close head-to-head, but after three questions,

you are through to the final, 2-1.

Yeah, those are the two biggest scorers here.

All of these other ones would have seen you into the final.

-Do you know any of these?

-Erm...

-It's Congo...

-What's it called?

-Something ville, isn't it?

-Brazzaville.

-Brazzaville.

And that would've scored 10 points. The second one down?

-Let's say Liechtenstein, shall we?

-It is Liechtenstein.

-What's it called?

-Vaduz.

-Vaduz. There we go.

-That's the best answer on the board.

8, and you're right, it is Fiji, and the capital of Fiji is Suva.

-Suva.

-And 11 of 100 people knew that.

Well played.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Rosalie and Wilf.

Well, you've been through so much in your Pointless career.

But, no, a really...a spirited and strong performance, I have to say.

Sorry we have to say goodbye, it's been great having you.

Thank you so much, Rosalie and Wilf.

APPLAUSE

But for Ray and Ben, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Ray and Ben, you've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Yay!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

There it is.

APPLAUSE

As always, you get to choose your category for this final round

from the four that we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something up there you like the look of.

20th Century Politics or Modern US Fiction, I'd go with.

-Or The Year 2004. But not sport, just not sport.

-You choose.

-Do you want to do politics?

-We'll do politics.

-RESIGNED:

-We'll do politics.

You suggested it and then when he said yes, you went, "Ugh"!

OK, you're going to go for politics. Richard.

OK, good luck. Three very different questions here.

We're looking for the name of any woman who held ministerial office

during the 20th century

according to the House of Commons' information office.

Any woman who held a ministerial office.

We are looking for any prime minister who served

under a king in the 20th century.

Or we are looking for any Fathers of the House in the House of Commons.

That's the longest serving MP at any given time.

Any woman who has held ministerial office,

any prime minister who served under a king or any Fathers of the House.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers and all you need to win

that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-We are.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, what have you got?

-I've got an obscure woman MP.

-Which is?

-Bessie Braddock.

-What did she do?

-She was an MP.

-OK. But was she a minister?

-She stands a chance.

-Jacqui Smith was a minister.

Father of the House in the House of Commons, Sir George Young...

-was one of them.

-Prime ministers under a king, Baldwin?

Stanley Baldwin.

Arthur Bonar Law, was he one of them?

I'm not sure.

David Lloyd George.

-He did. That sounds quite popular.

-Yeah, so, so, Jacqui...

Was Ted Heath ever Father of the House?

Oh, that's not a bad shout.

I don't know, though. So we've got to pick three.

What do you want to go with?

-Let's go with Sir George Young...

-I'm going obscure, Bessie Braddock.

So Bessie Braddock, George Young and who do you want for the third one?

Prime minister?

-Baldwin.

-You want to go with Baldwin?

-Stanley Baldwin.

-OK, are you happy with that?

-Do you want to...? Yeah.

There we are, the time is up, brilliant, OK, now,

what are your three answers going to be?

-So we'll have Father of the House, George Young.

-George Young.

-Women MPs who held ministerial office was...

-I'm going...

-It's quite obscure but I'm going Bessie Braddock.

-Bessie Braddock.

-And prime minister was Stanley Baldwin.

-Stanley Baldwin.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

-Bessie Braddock.

-Bessie Braddock.

-Bessie Braddock we put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Stanley Baldwin.

-Stanley Baldwin.

-OK, very good indeed. And Sir George Young in the middle.

-Yeah.

OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got...

Well, very best of luck. Three good answers up there on the board.

Let's see if any of those are pointless.

If one of them is pointless, you will win 2,000 quid.

What would you do with that, Ray?

Well, my half, I'd probably bribe my wife to let me go back to Nepal

but...

I think she needs more than that to let me go back.

You would just hand that over to her

and then off you'd go? On a sort of climbing thing?

-Well, I'd like to go back to Everest.

-Very good, very good.

OK, now, Ben, how about you?

I'd like to blow it all on CDs but I think my wife would prefer

we put it towards a house deposit.

What I would say is just get downloads, Ben, downloads.

-It's the future.

-It's the future.

Right, well, best of luck, best of luck.

Three good answers on that board.

OK, in the first instance, we were looking for prime ministers who

served a king. Stanley Baldwin was your answer.

You thought this was probably your least likely to be pointless.

Let's find out, though. If it is pointless, it'll win you £2,000.

How many people said Stanley Baldwin?

It's right.

That was the first thing it had to be.

The second thing it has to be is pointless.

So down Stanley Baldwin goes through the 30s,

into the 20s, into the teens

and through them the other side.

Down it goes, still going down.

APPLAUSE

5.

-That's a good first answer, though, isn't it? 5.

-It's not bad.

Very pleased with that. Not pointless, though,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer. We were looking, in this case,

for the Father of the House at any point in the 20th century.

You went for George Young.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

If it's pointless, it will win you £2,000. George Young.

Bad luck.

Oh, bad luck, Ben, I'm sorry,

everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

Bessie Braddock.

In this case, we were looking for any female who has held

a ministerial post in the 20th century.

If it's pointless, it will win you £2,000.

How many people said Bessie Braddock?

Oh, no!

APPLAUSE Bad luck.

Well, we will discover some good answers from Richard

and maybe we'll see how close you might have come to giving

a pointless answer in your chat.

But, unfortunately, you didn't manage to submit a pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over onto the next show. But what a performance.

It's been great having you on the show.

Strong performance the whole way through.

Very well done indeed.

And you get to take a Pointless trophy home.

So there we are, something to show for it. Well done.

APPLAUSE

And at least you both gave us a wrong answer. That's nice.

That shares the blame.

Sir George Young, never Father of the House.

Bessie Braddock, she was an MP from 1945 right through

to 1970 in Liverpool. Never a minister, I'm afraid.

Actually, the women ministers was the one where

most of the pointless answers were here.

And I'll tell you someone who is a pointless answer...

Don't say Jacqui Smith.

Yeah, Jacqui Smith, a pointless answer, I'm afraid.

So sorry. You said it during the 60 seconds but didn't go with it.

Let's take a look at some more of them.

Angela Eagle, you could have had Gillian Shephard who was

Secretary of State for Education.

Glenda Jackson, Margaret Bondfield,

who was the first woman cabinet minister, Margaret Bondfield.

Loads of other answers you could have had. Angela Rumbold,

Ann Taylor, Cheryl Gillan, Dawn Primarolo, Gisela Stuart,

Gwyneth Dunwoody, Hilary Armstrong,

Joan Ruddock, Kate Hoey, Lynda Chalker,

Patricia Hewitt, lots and lots of pointless answers on that list.

Well done if you said one of those.

The prime ministers, there's only two pointless answers here.

Arthur Balfour would've been a pointless answer,

I'm sure you know him, and Robert Gascoyne-Cecil,

Marquess of Salisbury.

Very well done if you said either of those.

And the Fathers of the House, a tricky one, this.

Bernard Braine, George Strauss, Henry Campbell-Bannerman who became

Father of the House, Richard Austen Butler.

In fact, everyone apart from Churchill, Heath, Callaghan

and David Lloyd George, David Lloyd George would've scored you

1 point on that. Everyone apart from that, they were pointless,

so well done if you said any of them.

And tough luck in the studio. Jacqui Smith, the one that got away.

Thanks very much, Richard, well,

unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Ray and Ben.

I mean, far too soon, really,

shame not to have you back for the next show.

But thank you for playing. Really strong contestants. Ray and Ben there.

-APPLAUSE

-Cheers.

Sadly Ray and Ben didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE