Episode 22 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, the game where we aim for the obscure

and we ignore the obvious. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hi, I'm Karen, and this is my colleague Kirsty.

We both work in central government and we're from London.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Rosie, and this is my husband, Wilf.

I'm a retired primary school teacher and Wilf is a retired sales

supervisor, and we're from Prescott on Merseyside.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm David. I'm a technical

services manager from Bristol, and this is my brother Mark,

a golf salesman from Devon.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Gloria, I'm retired, from Lincolnshire,

and this is my friend Carol from Kettering.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We will find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Score taker, stat maker, salt shaker, heart breaker.

It's my Pointless friend Richard.

-Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

Hello! Afternoon!

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon!

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-This'll be fun.

-Yeah.

-That last show was lovely, wasn't it?

-Oh, it was, wasn't it?

We've had a run of nice shows. Not that we don't always do nice

shows, because they always are nice.

We've had a particularly interesting,

-fun bunch of contestants recently.

-We have. We have.

Only one returning pair from that show. That is Kirsty and Karen,

who got knocked out in the first round but took us to lockdown.

So it was very exciting, a very good way to get knocked out of the show.

And three new groups of contestants.

I realise I've said how wonderful the contestants have been recently,

and that just puts extra pressure on you all. I'm sorry.

-Because I can tell they're all delightful.

-They are.

-Carol from Kettering.

-Carol from Kettering.

-There she is, over there.

She's trouble.

-Yeah.

-Can we contain Carol from Kettering?

-Well, let's find out.

-Let's find out.

-Let's find out. We don't know!

We just don't know. Dave and Sandra won the jackpot last time, which is

lovely news, so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

There it is. And if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

I'm only going to say one thing, and that is the pair with

the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's all you have to remember.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

It's Motor Racing.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

-Formula One Grand Prix winners. Richard.

-A nice, open one, this.

We're looking for the name of any Grand Prix driver who's

won a Formula One Grand Prix from the start of 1970 all the way

through to the end of 2014, please,

any Grand Prix driver who's won an official Formula One Grand Prix

that's counted towards the championship from the start

of 1970 to the end of 2014. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, Kirsty.

We discovered last time that you work in the Ministry of Justice.

-What kind of justice are you doling out, Kirsty?

-Lots of digital justice.

-As much as I can.

-It's the best kind.

-Yes, absolutely.

It's a fantastic view there. That's all that matters.

-So, where do you look out onto?

-Onto Big Ben, London Eye, the whole lot.

-See St James's Park...

-Do you have a cut-glass crystal decanter

full of whisky in the corner of your office?

-I'm just waiting, biding my time.

-It's only a matter of time, Kirsty.

The Ministry of Justice sounds like a superhero thing, doesn't it?

It really does.

-The Ministry of Justice.

-Are there people in capes around?

-That's Ministry of Magic down the road.

-Ministry of Magic. Of course!

Sorry.

Kirsty, Formula One Grand Prix-winning drivers.

So many to choose from, so many to choose from!

SHE LAUGHS

I'm going to go for, erm, a fairly obvious one, I think.

I hope he's there.

-Michael Schumacher.

-Michael Schumacher, says Kirsty.

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Michael Schumacher.

It is right.

APPLAUSE 48 for Michael Schumacher.

As the Americans would say,

one of the "winningest" Formula One Grand Prix drivers of all time.

-Yeah!

-I like "winningest". People don't like it when you say that.

Well, it sounds more like "winningest" as in "a winning smile".

-Two winning smiles, one is the winningest.

-Well, he's both.

It gives us a word for something we didn't have a word for before.

It's true, yeah. OK, Wilf, welcome. A warm welcome to you, Wilf.

And you are here from Prescott in Merseyside.

And what do you do up there, Wilf?

Well, I'm retired now, but I used to be a sales office supervisor.

And what do you do with your retirement now, Wilf?

-I play badminton three or four times a week.

-I like badminton.

I go running with a couple of chaps I've been running with for 40 years.

-How often do you do that?

-Twice a week.

Are you a bit competitive, Wilf?

Are you the one who thinks, "I'll just put a little turn of speed on"?

-Not now.

-OK.

-Used to be, though.

-Yeah.

-Used to be. OK.

Now, we only have one score so far, and that's 48 for Michael Schumacher.

Have you got a good Formula One Grand Prix winner in your mind?

I'm worried about the date, really, but I'm going to say

-James Hunt.

-James Hunt, says Wilf. James Hunt. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said James Hunt.

It's right. 48's our only score so far,

and you pass it.

APPLAUSE 21!

21 for James Hunt.

Well done, Wilf. British world champion, of course. Many wins.

Thanks, Richard. David, welcome. A warm welcome. From Bristol.

-I am, yes.

-And what do you do in Bristol?

I'm a technical service manager for a large phone company.

What do you do when you're not working for your company?

I enjoy football, golf, and I've just taken up climbing.

-Have you? Having never done it before?

-Having never done it before.

Really? Have you never been scared by the idea of climbing?

-No, heights don't bother me.

-And sort of really tiny little...

Big feet makes it difficult, as well, and poor balance.

You're not selling it to me at all.

Literally just thinking of climbing makes the soles of my feet ache.

Anyway, listen, David, what are you going to go for?

We're trying to avoid the dreaded 100, so I'll go for

-Jacques Villeneuve.

-Jacques Villeneuve, says David.

Sounds good to me.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jacques Villeneuve.

It's right. Well, high score is 48

and we pass it.

Low score at the moment is 21,

and we pass it.

APPLAUSE 6 for Jacques Villeneuve.

Another world champion, yeah. Three world champions we've had now.

-Thank you, Richard. Carol from Kettering.

-Yes.

A very warm welcome to Pointless to you.

What do you get up to in Kettering, Carol?

I like reading, gardening, the theatre, going to the cinema...

..dancing. I like ballroom dancing. So I keep myself quite busy.

Where do you go to the theatre? Is there a good one up near there?

-Yes, in Northampton, which is only about 15 miles away.

-Very good.

OK. Now, Carol, how about Formula One?

-Have we served you up a good first round?

-No.

-No!

But I'm going to go for...

-Jackie Stewart.

-Jackie Stewart, says Carol. Jackie Stewart.

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Jackie Stewart.

-Ooh!

-That's good enough, Carol. 48's our high score.

You pass it.

APPLAUSE 10. Very well done.

Second-lowest score of the round so far, Carol.

Very well done. Great start to the show.

Well played, Carol. Yeah, his career continued into the '70s.

-Last won a Grand Prix in 1973.

-Thanks, Richard.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

David, well done. David and Mark looking very strong

on a score of 6 at this point.

Then up to 10, where we find Carol and Gloria.

Up to 21, where we find Wilf and Rosalie.

And then it's 48, Kirsty.

Now, Karen, we cannot, simply cannot, say goodbye to you

at the end of Round One again, so a nice, low score from you, please.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Gloria! A very warm welcome to you. What do you do, Gloria?

I'm retired, but my hobbies are amateur dramatics and singing.

Excellent! What sort of amateur dramatics are you involved in?

Are you getting ready for something, or have you just finished something?

We're preparing for a concert in June for Unicef, and I'm looking for

seven good men to do a play with at the Broadbent Theatre this year.

How good do they have to be?

-Very good.

-Good-looking, yes.

-Seven good-looking men.

-Gloria, are you sure this is for a play?

-Yes.

-Yes!

-No...!

-OK!

Now, you're in a very good place at the moment,

thanks to Carol's excellent answer in the first pass.

If you can score 37 or less, through you go to the next round.

I'm going to go for - and I hope this is right -

-Ayrton Senna.

-Ayrton Senna, says Gloria. Ayrton Senna.

Here's your red line.

If you can get below that with Ayrton Senna, Gloria, you are in Round Two.

Let's see how far down the column we get with Ayrton Senna.

It's right.

APPLAUSE Well done, Gloria! You have done it.

28 for Ayrton Senna takes your total up to 38.

Very good. Well played, Gloria.

There's a strong argument to say the greatest Grand Prix

driver of all time, Ayrton Senna.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Mark, welcome.

-Hello.

-Welcome. Now,

-what do you do, Mark?

-I'm a golf equipment salesman.

-I see.

-Do you play golf?

-Yeah, yeah.

Was it you who got David interested in golf?

We both started at the same time, really, but I'm the better one.

-Oh, is that fair, David?

-Yeah, it's fair.

-That is fair. OK.

And what are your interests aside from golf and golf?

I like football, badminton. I do like watching films, TV,

everything like that.

-OK. Formula One, I notice, missing from that list.

-Yes.

It's not my strongest subject.

But I know this guy has definitely won a race.

I think he's only won one.

It's David Coulthard.

David Coulthard, says Mark. Here comes your red line.

If you can get below that with David Coulthard,

you are through to the next round. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

And you're through. Well done.

APPLAUSE 7!

Our two lowest scores of the round have been yours and your brother's.

Well done. 13 is your total.

Not a bad score, but you've deeply offended David Coulthard.

-He's won an awful lot more than one Grand Prix.

-Oh, has he?

-If he's sitting at home, he will be furious.

-I apologise!

Don't apologise to me.

Thank you very much. Now then, Rosalie, welcome.

-And what do you do, Rosalie?

-I play badminton.

-Do you play with Wilf?

-Against Wilf?

-If I have to.

But, no, generally speaking, we're usually separate.

-We have five dogs.

-That's a lot of dogs!

-Yeah.

Are they all the same breed, or is it a mix and match?

A bit of a mix and match.

We live five minutes from Merseyside Dogs Trust,

so they're all rescue dogs.

-Lovely.

-Border collies, mainly.

-Fantastic.

Well, listen, you are on 21.

You have to score 26 or less to avoid becoming our high-scorers.

-How good is your Formula One?

-Erm, a bit of a gamble.

I hope it's right. I'm going to say

-Nigel Mansell.

-Nigel Mansell, says Rosalie.

Wilf thinks that's fair enough.

Karen and Kirsty a little bit upset by that! There's your red line.

You have to get below that with Nigel Mansell to get into the next round.

Let's see how many people said Nigel Mansell.

It's right.

You've done it. Ooh, just! APPLAUSE

You needed 26, you got 26. 47 is your total.

Yeah, no risk at all. Another world champion, Nigel Mansell.

Another British world champion.

Thank you, Richard. Now then, Karen...

Oh, Karen, I can't bear this! KAREN AND KIRSTY LAUGH

You are our high-scorers before you've given...

-We're not even going to have lockdown.

-Unless Karen gets minus 1.

What if an answer is so obscure

-that it breaks the space-time continuum?

-Yeah.

-That is the only hope here.

-Karen, give it your best shot.

Shall I just go with a random name, then, just make up something?

As long as it sounds Formula One.

Michael Thomas.

As long as it sounds Formula One.

Michael Thomas. Ohhh! Michael Thomas. Let's find out if that's...

feasible.

No. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

HE SIGHS It's tough on the first podium.

But, erm, there's no excusing that!

100 points that scores you, takes your total up to 148. I'm sorry.

Yeah. Also, you had the opportunity to make up a slightly rude name.

You didn't, you went for Michael Thomas,

but not up to this point a Formula One driver, I'm afraid.

Lots of people follow Formula One at home. Lots of pointless answers.

I'll give you the one-point ones first. There's lots of them.

Daniel Ricciardo. Ralf Schumacher, Michael's brother, scored one point.

-That's who you meant, right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

You could have had Felipe Massa. Johnny Herbert, Gerhard Berger,

John Watson, Peter Revson were all one point.

So, let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Jarno Trulli won one Grand Prix. It was the Monaco Grand Prix.

You also could have had Nannini, Reuteman, Reggazone, Denny Hulme,

Didier Pironi, Jochen Rindt, Olivier Panis, Patrick Tambay.

All of those were pointless answers. Let's look at the top three,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

And miles out in front - as always - Lewis Hamilton.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, after our first round, the pair we are sending home, with

our high score of 148, I'm so sorry, it's the Ks again, Karen and Kirsty.

Nothing but a pleasure having you on the show, and I'm really sorry.

We're sending you home far too soon.

But thank you so much for playing. Great contestants. Karen and Kirsty.

APPLAUSE

But for our remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And now we're down to three pairs.

Well, Carol, I have to say, well done, you.

Standout, lovely score there of 10 for Jackie Stewart. Very well done.

Well done to the brothers, David, Mark, lovely combined score there.

And well done, Wilf and Rosie. Just well done.

Well done, all of you. You've seen off our only returning pair.

Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs for Round Two.

Our category is...

Music.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

"Wishing" songs. Richard?

We're going to show you six songs on each pass with

Wish, Wishing or Wishful in their title.

Tell us the act who had a hit with that song in the year shown, please.

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at at home. Best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. So, let's reveal our first

board of six "Wishing" songs, and here they are. We have got...

Let me read those all one last time.

I Wish I Was James Bond, or

I Wish I Had A Better Understanding Of The Subjunctive, 2008.

-There we are. Now then, Rosalie.

-Mm!

-Oh! These are fun!

-Hmm...

I know one, I think. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday I think

is Slade.

Slade, says Rosalie. Slade. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Slade.

Ooh! No, not Slade in this instance, Rosalie.

I'm afraid that's incorrect and scores you 100 points.

It's not, I'm afraid.

I'll give you all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

-Mm! Now then, David.

-I'm in trouble!

-David!

-Yeah, music's not really my strong suit, unfortunately.

Erm... I'll go with I Wish I Was James Bond by

the Plain White T's.

I Wish I Was James Bond by the Plain White T's, says David.

OK, let's see if that's right, and, if it is, let's see how many

of our 100 people said the Plain White T's.

No. Listen, Rosalie, David, you're in great company.

There we are, another 100. This is going very well(!)

Really well(!) Sorry, David, not the Plain White T's.

The good news is you can buy a bag

of plain white tees from Mark very, very cheaply.

Thanks, Richard. OK, now, Carol, you can just clean up here.

Do you fancy talking us through the board

and filling in all those blanks?

No. I haven't got a clue.

So I'm going to have a wild guess at Wish You Were Here.

Ruby Murray.

Ruby Murray, says Carol. Let's see if that's right,

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ruby Murray.

No! Not Ruby Murray, as it turns out. Another 100 points.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-There we go...

-There we go. Very well played, everybody. Terrific stuff...

-Keeps up that sense of jeopardy for that second pass. It's nice.

-Yeah.

Now, I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday is not Slade,

-it is of course...

-Our friends Wizzard.

-Wizzard.

Played it live in the studio, didn't they? Quite a big score of 37.

Apart from that, it is quite a tough board, actually.

A Flock Of Seagulls!

-The King Of Wishful Thinking is in Pretty Woman.

-Go West.

-Go West.

I Wish I Was James Bond.

-Are you saying that should be I Wish I Were James Bond?

-Yeah.

-Is that right?

-Only if you want to be pedantic. "I wish I were..."

Which you do want to be.

-You know me. Come on!

-Well, it was

a number 40 hit for Scouting For Girls.

So, some low-scorers up there.

Anyone who went through the board, very impressive.

I would almost be willing to bet nobody did.

There we go. Well, we're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at those scores!

Erm, well, it's 100, 100 and 100.

My guess is it's all going to be between Gloria, Mark

and Wilf for who stays with us and who goes through to the next round.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

PLEASE can at least one of you know something on the next board!

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Let's put six more "Wishful" songs up on the board. And here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Gloria, is that board any better for you than the last one

-was for Carol?

-No.

I'm going to have to take a guess, and I know it's wrong.

Wishing On A Star, Perry Como.

Perry Como. I'm tempted to say, "If you know it's wrong...

"guess again!" But Perry Como you're going to say.

There's no red line for you, Gloria.

Let's see how far down the column you could possibly get with Perry Como.

Nope! We are going to be handing out membership of the 200 Club

like sweets in this round, I can tell you.

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

Worth saying we've never had 600 in Round Two before.

-You never know.

-Nope.

-Just saying that now.

-Yep, we never have. Mark?

Please, please know something on this board.

I knew one on the last board! Scouting For Girls.

Oh, no, no, don't tell me you don't know any of these.

I don't, I'm afraid! Erm...

-I feel like I can do an educated guess on the top one.

-Please do.

I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair),

Avril Lavigne?

Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne. OK, let's see. Now, here's your red line.

If you can score 99 or less, you are definitely in the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 said Avril Lavigne? Is it right?

No, it's not. Nope. I'm afraid not Avril Lavigne.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

It's not, I'm afraid.

I'll give you the correct answers at the end of the pass.

There we go. Now, Wilf. Ah, Wilf, all you have to do is score something.

I mean, just...

anything, Wilf.

I'm just going to say Wishing On A Star...

..Val Doonican.

It's not even a man who sings it! Anyway, there we go.

Er, Val Doonican, says Wilf. Well, let's get this over and done with.

How many people said that?

Yep. OK, yeah, unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer, Wilf.

I'm so sorry. That scores you 100 points.

Right, as it is a tie, the tied pairs, as in, brackets, all of you,

can now confer, and I will take answers from each pair,

and we'll start with Wilf and Rosalie and work our way down the line.

OK, so, Wilf and Rosalie, you can confer. What are you going to go for?

Erm...

I think Wishing On A Star...

Is it Randy Crawford?

Randy Crawford, say Wilf and Rosalie.

OK, now, Mark and David,

we're going to take an answer from you before we put it to the tower.

Erm, I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair), Pink.

OK, Pink, you've gone for Pink. Randy Crawford and Pink.

Now then, Carol and Gloria, what are you going to go for?

That's a good question.

-Erm...

-Johnny Logan?

-Wishing On A Star, Johnny Logan.

Johnny Logan. OK, so we have Randy Crawford, Pink, Johnny Logan.

OK, now in the order they were given, Rosalie

and Wilf have said Randy Crawford for Wishing On A Star.

Let's see if that's right, and, if it is, how many people said it.

No, it's not, I'm afraid that scores you the maximum 100 points,

takes your total up to 300.

Erm, Mark and David, they're going to find

the singer of I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker if it kills them, and they...

..they've gone for Pink.

Shall we find out if that's right? Pink.

No, it's not. OK, that scores you the maximum of 100 points.

I'm so sorry etc. 300.

Gloria and Carol have gone for Johnny Logan for Wishing On A Star.

Let's see, erm, how wrong that is.

OK.

Well, that is Pointless history being made as we go on.

We'll just tell the news just to hold fire.

Huw Edwards is watching this even as we speak.

-OK.

-Shall we fill in this board,

put us all out of our misery before we decide...?

I don't know what on earth we're going to do with all of you.

I really don't. But I'm suspecting this is where they first got

the idea for The Hunger Games.

I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker was a sort of one-hit wonder, really.

Sandi Thom, also the name of a cat.

So some low-scorers there.

So if you're ever going to get 300 points in a round,

-perhaps this was the one.

-Yeah. Er, Richard, what do we do now?

Well, I've always wanted to do this.

We now crack open an emergency question.

We've only done it once before,

and that was when Cannon and Ball were on, so...!

We've got an emergency question, a brand-new question.

All teams can confer.

Give me one answer each and then we'll see who loses and who wins.

Very best of luck.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Composers in the Classic FM Hall of Fame 2014.

Yeah, we're looking for the name of any composer who had

a work in the Classic FM 2014 Hall of Fame, please.

The Classic FM listeners voted for their 300 favourite classical

works, so any composer who's got a work in that top 100.

Fabulous. OK, there we are. You can now confer.

We'll come to Wilf and Rosalie first. What are you going to go for?

We think Debussy.

Debussy, say Wilf and Rosalie.

Now, Mark and David, we'll take your answer next.

-We're going to go for John Williams.

-John Williams. And, Gloria and Carol?

-Sibelius.

-Sibelius. Debussy, John Williams, Sibelius,

in the order they were given. Wilf and Rosalie said Debussy.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Debussy's right.

APPLAUSE 7!

7 for Debussy.

Now then, Mark and David have gone for John Williams.

Let's see how many of our 100 said John Williams.

It's right.

Well, Debussy scored 7.

APPLAUSE John Williams scores 3.

Very well done indeed. That was a great answer, Mark and David.

Now, Gloria and Carol have gone for Sibelius. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sibelius.

It's right.

Well, 7 is our high score, 3 our low. Sibelius...

..is 1! APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed!

-We have a result.

-A sublime end to a ridiculous round.

Very well played, all of you. I think we've got

to give ourselves a round of applause for getting through that.

And we've got to do the rest of the show now!

And we've got to do it really quickly, so let's move on.

Absolutely right. Well, thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us, I'm sorry to say it's Wilf and Rosalie.

I feel like we've been through a war together!

Blimey! Anyway, we will see you again next time.

We'll put all mention of this round...

The famous "Wishing" songs round!

Oh, Lordy! Let's never mention it again.

But it's been lovely having you on the show.

You need to get home, honestly, you really do.

Thanks so much, Wilf and Rosalie. Brilliant contestants.

APPLAUSE

Right, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, David and Mark, Carol and Gloria,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at £1,000.

There we are. OK, well, you know the deal.

The first pair to win two questions will play for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

American Sitcoms, Richard.

We're going to show you five stills now from American TV sitcoms.

You just need to tell us the show they're taken from, please,

-and the most obscure answer will win the point.

-OK.

Let's reveal our five stills, and here they come. We've got...

There we go, five stills from American sitcoms.

David and Mark, you've been our low-scorers throughout. You go first.

Well, we know a few of them,

but we're trying to choose the most obscure one, as part of the game!

-We'll go for B, Will And Grace.

-B, Will And Grace. B, Will And Grace.

Now, Carol and Gloria, the board is all yours.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

No.

We think we know one. That's all. We're going for C,

ER.

C, ER. So we have Will And Grace and we have ER.

David and Mark have said Will And Grace for B.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 said Will And Grace.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 25 for Will And Grace.

Meanwhile, Carol and Gloria have said ER for C.

Let's see if that's right,

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said ER.

Ooh, bad luck, Carol and Gloria, I'm afraid not ER, which means,

after one question, David and Mark, you are up 1-0.

Yes, not ER, I'm afraid, not a sitcom.

But there is a sitcom called Scrubs, and that's C.

Would have scored you 42 points.

A is the endlessly wonderful Modern Family.

That scores 16. Well worth watching, if you don't.

Or even if you do.

D is the best answer on the board.

It's Dharma And Greg.

And the biggest answer on the board is E, The Big Bang Theory.

Sheldon Cooper there.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Carol and Gloria, you need to win this one,

but you get to answer it first, so best of luck. It concerns...

English Spa Towns And Cities, Richard.

Five clues relating to facts about English spa towns and cities now.

You just need to give us the most obscure answer.

OK. Let's reveal our five clues, and here they are.

I'll read those one last time, very quickly.

There we are. Carol and Gloria will answer first.

We're going for the Surrey town. We think it's Epsom.

Epsom, say Carol and Gloria. Epsom for the Surrey town. David and Mark?

Talk us through that board.

We're not sure. We've only got two.

We think the seaside resort is Scarborough,

and we think the city founded as Aquae Sulis by the Romans was Bath.

So I think we'll go with Bath. We'll go for the bottom one.

OK, you're going to go for Bath. So we have Epsom and we have Bath.

Carol and Gloria said Epsom was

the Surrey town that gave its name to the salts.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 41 for Epsom salts.

Now then, meanwhile, David and Mark

have named Bath as the city founded as Aquae Sulis by the Romans.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

It has to beat 41.

Oh, it's going to! Look at that! 32 for Bath!

APPLAUSE

Getting a surprise result there, but, David and Mark, very well done.

It means after only two questions you are through to the final 2-0.

It's important to remember not to get your Epsom salts

and your bath salts mixed up.

Now, let's look at the rest of these.

Now, the 1909 one. It's tough. That one and the Queen Victoria one, they

could be interchanged,

but it's Royal Tunbridge Wells, was the 1909 one.

Would have scored you 9 points.

You're right about Scarborough. You were right to avoid it.

Scarborough Fair, of course, Simon and Garfunkel sang. 65 points.

And the other town, the Queen Victoria town,

was Royal Leamington Spa, and that scored 29.

So Royal Tunbridge Wells, best answer.

Thanks very much, Richard. So the pair leaving us

at the end of this head-to-head round, it's Carol and Gloria.

Well, what an epic game it's been! My word!

Sorry to be saying goodbye to you.

The good news is we get to see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that. Thanks very much, Carol and Gloria.

APPLAUSE

But for David and Mark, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, David and Mark, you've fought off all

the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, tell me this, do you remember...

Cast your minds way, way, way, way back.

Do you remember Round One?

It was Formula One.

-Exactly, Formula One.

-Coulthard's going to beat me up.

Ah, we all remember. And you were our low-scorers that round.

Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

You see, you set out your stall even then.

We'll just quickly whizz through Round Two and arrive at

Round Three, the head-to-head round, where you won 2-0.

So it looks very much like a foregone conclusion.

We just need a pointless answer now and you waltz off with the jackpot.

Anything you'd like to see come up in this round?

-Films.

-Films, yeah.

-OK.

Well, you always get to choose your category

from the four impossible things that appear on the board behind me.

Let's see what today's collation looks like. We have got...

..Films Featuring Men Dressed As Women.

There's a niche!

Well, I think we should avoid music!

Especially jazz albums!

-I think there's only one answer there, isn't there?

-Definitely.

We'll go with films.

-OK, there we are, films it is.

-OK, good luck, gents.

We're looking for any actor who, according to IMDb, receives

a credit in either

the 1982 film Tootsie,

the 1993 film Mrs Doubtfire

or the 1959 film Some Like It Hot.

Anyone with an acting credit in any of those films. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much. You've got up to one minute to come up with three

answers, and all you need to win that jackpot is for just

one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right, everyone's been quizzing me,

and one of the questions they asked was Pierce Brosnan movies,

and Mrs Doubtfire's in there, so that's fine.

For the rest, you go.

Er, that's the only one I was going to say to you!

Erm, Some Like It Hot was, erm...

Was it Richard Curtis?

No, that's the guy that wrote Love Actually.

Oh, yeah. Erm... Something Curtis.

Go back to Mrs Doubtfire. Who are the kids?

There was that little girl from Matilda.

Unfortunately, I don't know her name! She's not in anything else.

You've got Robin Williams, Pierce Brosnan...

-Sally Field is in it.

-Is she? Let's go for that. That's a great shout.

Mrs Doubtfire...

Tootsie you know is Dustin Hoffman, yeah.

-I didn't know that.

-Dustin Hoffman is in Tootsie.

He's the main actor, but everyone will get that.

-Ten seconds left.

-Mrs Doubtfire...

QUIET CONFERRING

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

-Er, our answers are for Tootsie, Dustin Hoffman.

-Dustin Hoffman.

-And from Mrs Doubtfire, Pierce Brosnan.

-Pierce Brosnan.

-And...

-Sally Field.

-And Sally Field, also from Mrs Doubtfire.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Sally Field.

-Sally Field.

Sally Field we'll put last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Dustin Hoffman.

-Dustin Hoffman we put first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We have got...

..and Sally Field. Well, let's hope one of those answers is pointless.

If it is, it'll win you a thousand quid. What would you do with that?

David, to you first.

Probably buy some golf equipment from my brother.

Very loyal of you. You know other stores are available?

You do know that, don't you, David? Mark, how about you?

I'd probably put it towards a holiday to Florida

-with my girlfriend.

-Wonderful. OK, well, best of luck.

So, your first answer was Dustin Hoffman.

In this case, we were looking for actors in Tootsie.

If it's pointless, it wins you £1,000,

so let's see how many people said Dustin Hoffman.

Well, it's right. Unsurprisingly. Now, all it has to be is pointless.

If it goes all the way down to zero...

Well, there we are. 49. APPLAUSE

49 of our 100 people named Dustin Hoffman,

so not a pointless answer. Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Pierce Brosnan.

In this case, we were looking for actors in Mrs Doubtfire.

It has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot, so for £1,000,

let's see how many people said Pierce Brosnan.

It's right. Now, your first answer, Dustin Hoffman, took us down to 49.

Pierce Brosnan passes that.

Down through the 30s, down through the 20s into the teens.

Still going down into...

Not quite into single figures.

10 for Pierce Brosnan. APPLAUSE

Not bad. But well remembered. Well remembered. He was in that film.

Only one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything is riding on your third answer,

which was Sally Field. Again, this is a cast member from Mrs Doubtfire.

For £1,000, let's see how many people said Sally Field. Is it pointless?

It's right. Dustin Hoffman took us down to 49.

You pass that. Pierce Brosnan took us down to 10.

Ooh, 14 for Sally Field! APPLAUSE

Well, I put it down to the trauma of Round Two, I think,

but whatever it was,

I'm afraid you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But we have been through a lot together.

This is sure to be a famous episode of Pointless,

and you came out on top at the end of it, so very, very well done.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each to

show for your struggle. So, well done, David and Mark.

-APPLAUSE

-Terrific. Well done, guys.

Unlucky in that round. At least you gave three correct answers.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Everybody, in fact, apart from Dustin Hoffman, Sydney Pollack

and Jessica Lange. Everybody else was pointless in that film.

Let's take a look at Mrs Doubtfire.

Again, everybody in that film was pointless other than

Robin Williams, Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan,

Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

And Some Like It Hot, the wonderful Some Like It Hot.

Everybody there apart from Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, who you were

thinking of, who would have scored 25, and Jack Lemmon, who scored 24.

Every other actor in that film was pointless.

Well done if you got one at home.

And, gents, congratulations on making history,

not only a triple lockdown, a double triple lockdown.

We've never seen the like before. Thank you for playing your part.

Thanks very much. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye

to David and Mark, but it's been tremendous having you on the show.

David and Mark! APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

There it is. APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me.

Goodbye. APPLAUSE