Episode 37 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless - the show where the aim of the game

is to score as FEW points as you can,

and you do that by coming up with the answers no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Tom. This is my friend and colleague Louise,

and we're from Belfast.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Stan. This is my daughter, Katy. We're from Stoke-on-Trent.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm David. This is my brother, Kevin. And we're from Kent.

And couple number four.

Hello, I'm Jane. This is my friend, Catherine, and we're from Suffolk.

Thanks very much indeed. These are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as we go along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Warning, he may contain spoilers.

And, by spoilers, I mean answers - it's my Pointless friend,

-it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody. Good afternoon.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-How are ya?

-I'm really well.

Excellent. We've got two returning pairs from the last show.

I think both pairs were quite unlucky to get knocked out.

On podium two we've Stan and Katy, who got knocked out in Round One

with an unlucky wrong answer from Katy on Michael Jackson.

And on podium one, Louise and Tom - and Tom did unbelievably.

We had a football thing - Tom went through both boards absolutely perfectly.

So I think they are both going to be very strong pairs.

I don't want to upset our newcomers, but they'll both be very strong.

And in terms of the jackpot...

-Well, we gave it away five times in a row...

-Yeah.

..but in the last two shows we haven't had a single correct answer in that round.

-It's six consecutive wrong answers.

-Wrong answers, yeah.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Laura and Danny, as you'll have gathered

didn't win the jackpot last time so we add another £1,000...

So today's jackpot starts off, if you please, at £3,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, just remember - the pair with a highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's the only rule.

Best of luck to you all, our first category this afternoon is...

It's Books.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-On each board we're going to show you seven novels

which have animals in their titles,

but we've removed the name of the animal.

Can you fill in the gaps, please? Very best of luck.

Seven on the first board, seven on the second.

14 in all to have a go at at home.

OK. It's a bit like pin the tail on the donkey - you've just got to

pin the animal back onto the name of the novel.

Let's take a look at our first board of seven.

HE READS ALOUD

I'll read those all one last time.

Louise, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-You had a tough time!

-You KNEW the answer.

-I did.

-Not THE answer - there were several choices, obviously...

-Yeah.

-You could've got Thierry Henry.

-Yeah.

And my husband's an Arsenal fan, so I don't think I can go back home.

LAUGHTER

-Do you know, you can't.

-No!

Some sort of rapprochement will have to be negotiated, yeah.

Remind us what you do, Louise.

-I work in the Ulster Museum.

-In Belfast.

-In Belfast, yeah.

And we discovered last time you've got dinosaurs...

All kinds of wonderful things. And what's the oldest thing?

-You've got an Egyptian mummy?

-We have an Egyptian mummy.

Probably our montosaurus dinosaur.

-A montosaurus?

-Yes, it's our only full skeleton that we have.

I've never even heard... I've heard of Montessori, but not montosaurus.

-Yeah.

-Wow.

Now, then, Louise, are you happier with books, generally?

Generally, but I'm not sure about this board.

-But not these, specifically.

-Yeah.

Some of the more obscure ones I'm not happy about...

I've learnt my lesson from the last time.

I'm just going to go with something I know -

and go for The Hound Of The Baskervilles.

The Hound Of The Baskervilles, says Louise. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Hound.

88!

APPLAUSE

-That's a high score, there.

-It is!

But you might, tactically, have done something very useful.

You might've taken the only one that other people knew. So there we are.

Yeah, a huge score, isn't it? 88 for The Hound Of The Baskervilles.

I'm not sure what lesson you learned,

but it'd be nice to come back a third time and learn another lesson.

I tell you that lesson was worth 12 points to you.

Very good. Now, Katy, welcome back.

Katy was Round One, last time.

-I was, I'm afraid. Yes.

-Ohhhh...!

Now, Katy, remind us what you do.

I work as a site administrator for a national construction company.

So you are on the construction site. Are you the only female on this site?

I am literally the only female on site.

-And you have been for eight years.

-Er, yes.

Eight years in construction.

Do they behave a lot better, or do YOU now behave a lot worse?

Well, I'm tucked away in my own little cabin,

so I can hear a lot of conversations down the corridor which can be interesting,

but I've grown used to it.

And when you are not doing that, Katy, what do you like to do?

Mainly sports-related.

My friends think I'm a bit of a man at heart, to be honest,

because my weekends are mainly scheduled around sporting fixtures.

So, football, darts, Formula One, boxing...

OK, so this round on books is just like a gift for you?

-Not really, no.

-Yeah.

Literature is one thing I was hoping WOULDN'T come up.

-OK.

-So, looking at the board, there's only one I know,

and I'll go for Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr Fox.

Fantastic Mr Fox, says Katy.

Let's see if that's right. How many of our 100 said Fox?

It's right.

APPLAUSE

66 for Fantastic Mr Fox.

Yeah, another big score - better than 88.

From 1970, Fantastic Mr Fox.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, now, David. Welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

What do you do, David?

I'm an account manager for a medical devices company.

So we provide equipment to the NHS,

and my job is to make sure it runs smoothly.

Very good. What are your hobbies?

I'm a pianist and a violinist. So I do like to play.

And I play rugby for my local town club.

Very good. Pianist and violinist?

So you kept up your piano and violin.

How long have you played each of those?

I think I started when I was about four - four or five.

So, I really do love to play.

Yes. Good for you. OK, now, what are you going to go for on this board?

To be fair, the only two I was 100% certain of have already gone.

But I will go for...

Jeffrey Deaver and The Stone Lion.

The Stone Lion. Is that a guess?

Or is that somewhere in the back of your mind...?

Somewhere in the back of my mind, but it's probably more of a guess.

OK, The Stone Lion, says David.

Let's see if he is right, and how many of our 100 people said Lion.

Bad luck, David. Not The Stone Lion.

That scores you 100 points. I'm sorry.

Sorry, David. Not The Stone Lion. Good name for a pub, though -

-The Stone Lion, wouldn't it be?

-Yeah...

Now, Jane, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. And what do you do, Jane?

I'm a parish clerk to two different parishes,

and I also work part-time for a charity.

So, a parish clerk is on a parish council, or on a parochial church council...?

-Parish council.

-Parish council.

I see, and how is that? Being clerk to TWO parishes?

-That is like being in the world of Dibley.

-Is it?

HE CHUCKLES

I bet, yeah. Can you tell one lot of people -

one lot of council members - about what happens on the other council?

Can you spill the beans between the two councils?

Yeah, to some extent.

They are quite close together,

so we do share certain training courses and things like that.

-And a clerk, indeed!

-And the clerk.

And your interests outside the parish, so to speak?

I like to walk.

We have a dog, so we walk quite a long way every day.

I like to read, theatre...

Very good, indeed.

Now, Jane. This is your board.

If you want to talk us through it and fill in all those blanks, you can,

before telling us which one you want to go for.

OK. Well, I know three.

So the Douglas Adams one is

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish.

Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel.

And the bottom one is The Cuckoo's Calling.

But I'm going to go for So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish.

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish, says Jane.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Now, 66 is our lowest score - you've passed that.

APPLAUSE

There we go.

Very well done, Jane.

I think you chose very well, there.

Well played, Jane. Great answer, great book, as well.

You'd have got more points if you'd gone for Wolf Hall.

It is the correct answer - Hilary Mantel.

That would've scared you 43.

You'd have got far fewer points, though, if you had gone for

The Cuckoo's Calling -

JK Rowling's crime writer pseudonym Robert Galbraith.

Cuckoo's Calling would've scored you nine points.

It would've been a terrific answer.

And now these final two...

It is not The Stone Lion,

and you'd go a long time before you guessed this one -

it's The Stone Monkey.

Stone Monkey - Jeffrey Deaver would've scored you six.

And up the top there,

it is Black Swan Rising by Lee Carroll - eight points for that.

So, Stone Monkey, unsurprisingly, the best answer on that board.

Thanks, Richard. Halfway through the round, the scores...

27 the best score of that pass, Jane.

Very well done, indeed.

Then up to 66 with Katy and Stan.

Then 88 to Louise and Tom.

Not the highest scorers, Louise -

looking good - because our highest scorers are

David and Kevin on 100.

You're not way ahead there, so, Kevin, a nice low score

in the next pass could keep you in the game.

We're coming back down the line, now.

Second players, please, to the podium.

OK, let's put seven more novels up on the board with animals missing,

and here they are.

HE READS ALOUD

Now, then. Catherine. A warm welcome to Pointless, Catherine.

What do you do?

I'm a PA to the MD of a manufacturing company in Suffolk.

-How long have you done that for?

-This particular job, for 13 years.

Fun. You enjoy it?

I do.

Oh, a bit of a pause there!

I think you DO enjoy it.

-I DO enjoy it.

-Good.

I'm delighted to hear it. What do you do when you are not PA-ing?

I volunteer at the local hospice at the weekend.

Helping out on the wards,

taking some of the jobs off the nursing staff to give them time

to do what they really should be doing.

Which is quite rewarding.

Good for you. Good for you.

Now, you've been put in a very strong position by Jane in that first pass.

You're on 27 and the highest scorer is on 100,

so 72 or less gets you through.

I'm quite glad that I'm here on this position

and not where Jane was, because I didn't know as many as she does.

I really like it when people say that.

The most common thing people say is, "Oh, last board, I knew ALL of them!"

-No...!

-Including all the really low-scoring ones.

"But I don't know any of these."

I am ashamed to say, really, I only know two on there.

And I'm going to go for the bottom one.

Which is The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time.

The Dog, says Catherine.

Here's your red line. Get below that with The Dog,

you're into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100% said The Dog.

Very well done, through you go. Nice and easy.

APPLAUSE

76 is your total.

Well played, Catherine.

And now a multi-award-winning stage play, as well.

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time.

-Very good. Have you seen it? Yes, you have, haven't you?

-Mm.

-It's terrific.

-Mm.

All right, now, then, Kevin.

Now, then, Kevin, what we absolutely need from you is a low score here.

What do you do, Kevin?

I tender security contracts for certain people around the world,

and once we get the contracts, I manage them for a month or so

until they get up and running and then move onto the next one.

Very good. And what do you do when you're not doing that?

So, I'm a bit of a sports nut.

Did mixed martial arts for about seven, eight years.

Kind of getting out of it now, too many injuries.

But I've decided to go for an even worse sport - crossfit -

which is even probably worse on your body.

-Crossfit?

-Yeah.

-Wha... Tell me about crossfit.

Crossfit is the most you can do

for a certain amount of time.

As fit as you can get before you get cross.

Yeah, pretty much. Or you pass out - either one.

To be honest, after you lose a few

you start getting bored of it, as well.

And I'm not the best loser, to be honest with you.

-Dave will back me up on that one.

-True.

OK, so fun. Nice high score there!

LAUGHTER

OK, so, Kevin, what are you going to go for on this board?

Roll on the 200 club, because I have no idea about anything.

Literature was my worst.

I was going to say Dog for The Dog And His Boy,

but I can't imagine there's going to be two Dogs.

So I'm going to go for The Parrot And His Boy by CS Lewis.

OK, no red line for you, obviously, because you are the highest scorers,

but let's see The Parrot And His Boy.

Aw...!

Never mind, never mind.

You've won in many ways, because you predicted that score. That's good.

But, I'm afraid, yes, an incorrect answer scores you 200.

Also, if you're going to make up an animal, that's an impressive one.

-The parrot.

-Yes, it's an attractive animal.

-It is.

The monkey one, as well. So I thought I'd go down that line.

-Why not?

-Fair enough.

Now, Stan, welcome back.

And remind us what you do, Stan.

I'm a Street Scene Neighbourhood Manager for a local council.

Fabulous. But you've got a whole park at your disposal.

I've got several parks, yes.

Now, when you're doing your park, working out what to plant...

I always think, if you're doing a park,

it's a bit like doing a fireworks display...in very slow motion.

It is, yeah. You want bright colours in a park.

You don't want nice pastel shades that mix into nothing.

You want sharp reds and whites so they stand out,

so people can see them from a distance.

Presumably, as one thing's dying down, another's coming up.

-You want to keep that going all the way through.

-Yeah.

We've bedding we do twice a year.

Herbaceous borders, shrubberies - we all maintain that, and a lot of grass to cut.

Wonderful. Now, the good news is it doesn't matter what you score

you're still through to the next round.

So you've already done twice as well as you did last time.

But, Stan, there's that board. What would you like to go for?

I think I know three of them.

I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's the lowest one I possibly know,

it's, Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?

Electric Sheep says Stan. No red line, you are already through.

How many people said Sheep?

28 for Sheep.

Taking your total up to 94.

Well played, Stan. Yes, the novel

that Blade Runner, the film, is based on. Loosely based on.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Tom, welcome back.

Yes, as Richard said earlier, that was tough, you going out on that

last round, because you knew pretty much every answer on both boards.

We did know we'd struggle

on football because it's not really Louise's best subject.

Well, Louise has left you in pretty good stead here,

again you're through to the next round, which is great news.

But, Tom, remind us what you do.

I work for National Museums of Northern Ireland,

all the different sites.

So how did you get into that? Were you an archaeologist

-by training or...?

-No,

many moons ago I worked for a different museum, I got

into that and it led me through, into the organisation I'm in now.

I've been there for 18 years.

The first 13 as a guide, giving tours, and now I deal with policies,

-procedures, stuff behind the scenes.

-So you've gone up from...

-Sideways!

-Do you remember the information from your guiding days?

-Not at all.

-Wsssht! It's all gone?

-No, it's gone.

-That's a shame.

If we could remember everything - actually you do,

-you remember everything.

-Yeah, I remember some bits.

Now then, Tom, as I say, you are already through but, do you fancy

talking us through that board and filling in as many as you can?

Well, I do know two of those that are left for sure.

The Pelican Brief by John Grisham

and Along Came A Spider by James Patterson.

But as we are through,

I'll have a guess.

I'll go for The Trumpet Of The Elephant.

The Trumpet Of The Elephant by EB White.

Let's see if that's right, no red line, you are already through.

Let's see how many people said Elephant. Let's see if it's right.

Ohhhh! Not The Trumpet Of The Elephant. Scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 188, but you're through.

Worth a guess, Tom. I know people at home will be split into two camps as

there's only two animals really that trumpet - the elephant and swan.

So lots of people would have said Elephant,

-but the answer is actually Swan. The Trumpet Of The Swan.

-Yeah.

Five points, that would have been a terrific answer.

The Pelican Brief, you were right about. 67.

-The CS Lewis novel?

-The Horse.

The Horse And His Boy.

20.

Along Came A Spider, you're right about that.

48.

Do you know this last one?

It's the best answer on the board.

-No.

-We could be sitting here for a very, very long time before someone

guessed it. If you know it at home, very well done.

If you guessed it at home, then it's unbelievably well done because

it is Love And The Platypus.

One point, very well done if you got it. Love And The Platypus.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Well, at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 200, I'm afraid to say it is Kevin and David.

I'm sorry, we didn't give you a chance to shine at all there,

as you said, books weren't your speciality.

However, we will see you again next time

and I'm sure you'll go much further.

Meantime, thanks very much, Kevin and David.

APPLAUSE

Right, for the remaining three pairs it is now time for Round Two.

So now we're down to three pairs,

and at the end of this round we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

Congratulations, Jane, lowest score of that round with The Fish.

Superb answer.

Louise and Tom were our highest scorers of the remaining pairs,

but you would have gone for a lower score if you had had to,

wouldn't you, Tom? Stan and Katy, well done, you're in Round Two.

All looking good. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

US Geography.

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first and second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

US States On The Edge Of America.

-Richard.

-We're going to show you a map and we have highlighted every

single state that's on the edge of mainland America.

Just need to give us the name of one of the states you see highlighted, please.

OK, as Richard just mentioned, we are

going to put up an image showing all those edge states,

obviously that image will stay up the whole way through the round.

You just have to name one of those states. Here is the image...

-There we go.

-It is the white ones.

-Exactly, not the purple ones!

LAUGHTER

Although the purple ones look nice. OK, there we go. Now, Tom.

This is a good round.

I can't tell if Tom is joking or not.

THEY LAUGH

I think I'll go for Alabama.

Alabama, says Tom. OK.

Let's see if Alabama is right and if it is, how many people said it.

It is right.

Oh, Tom, very well done indeed, look at that, five.

Never puts a foot wrong!

-Five.

-Well played, Tom, good start. There it is,

just down there at the bottom right.

It's only just on the edge of America.

It has very little coastline.

Yep, thanks, Rich.

-Now, Katy.

-Yeah...

I'm going to go for Washington.

You're going to go for Washington.

OK, let's see if that's right, and how many people said Washington.

It is right.

26.

It's interesting, that thing of Washington, it's one of the

anomalies in Pointless, it always scores more than it should do.

It's not that well-known a state.

-There it is up in the top left-hand corner.

-Yeah.

But everybody that thinks Washington DC, the city, is a state

says Washington as well.

Obviously it gets put in the pot with Washington, so always

scores more than it deserves, weirdly.

Yeah, Washington getting ideas above its station there. Now, Catherine.

What would you like to go for?

Well, this isn't one of the topics I would have chosen, but I think

I'll have a go at something on the East Coast and go for Rhode Island.

Rhode Island, says Catherine, let's see if that's right

and how many people said Rhode Island.

It's right. 26 is our high school, 5 is our low.

You've passed the high,

you've passed the low! Rhode Island.

Four. Great scoring there.

Well played, Catherine, great answer.

There it is, tiny little state there on the East Coast, Rhode Island.

-Awwww!

-Aw!

-That's nice.

-Tiny little thing.

-Aw! Thanks, Richard.

OK, before we go back down the line, let's see what those scores are.

Four the best score of that pass, Catherine,

very well done indeed to you. Then up to five, Tom and Louise.

Then up to 26, Katy and Stan.

26, who'd have thought that would be such a high score!

But, Stan, it IS such a high score.

We need more Rhode Island type things, so good luck with that.

We'll come back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, now, Jane, our lowest scorer in the first round.

How are you feeling about this as a category?

It's probably one of my worst subjects,

but I'm going to follow Catherine's lead and go for Vermont.

Vermont, says Jane.

Let's see. There is your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Vermont,

you're in the head-to-head.

How many people said it, is it right?

It is right.

Very well done, Jane.

Look at that! Two.

APPLAUSE

Lowest score of the round so far, again, Jane.

Taking your total up to six.

I suspect probably the lowest total in the round.

Another great answer, very well played.

The state capital of Vermont, which is Montpelier,

is the smallest state capital of all.

-It's got fewer than 8,000 inhabitants.

-Aw!

-It's like a little village.

-Aw, little village!

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Stan. You are the high scorers.

We need a low score from you.

I think I'll stick with the small states on the East Coast.

I'll go for New Hampshire.

New Hampshire says Stan, no red line for you as you are the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said New Hampshire.

It's right.

It's another good answer, well done, Stan. Takes your total to 36.

That's a good score, but I tell you what,

in this round it looks like a high score, doesn't it?

Terrific work. The state vegetable of New Hampshire

-is the white potato.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, Louise, this is the moment of truth.

Oh... You are on five, we have to see 30 or less from you.

-I don't want to let Tom down again.

-You must not let Tom down.

There's a couple of obvious ones, but I'm going to leave

the obvious ones out and I'm going to try Arkansas.

Arkansas, says Louise. Arkansas. OK.

I'm looking for a sort of nod or something from Tom,

but I'm not getting anything so far. That's a poker face, look at that.

A face of granite there.

There is your red line, you have to get below that with Arkansas.

Let's see if it's right, how many people said it.

-Oh, no!

-Oh, Louise!

Ohhhh.

Oh, Louise, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer and scores you 100 points.

It takes your total up to 105.

I'm sorry.

Louise, I'm so sorry, Arkansas is one of those purple states.

Now, let's take a look at the low scorers.

There is a pointless answer out there, amazingly, and it is...

Indiana.

Indiana. Awful lot of states for two points.

Two points for Connecticut...

Michigan,

Delaware...

Virginia.

Wisconsin, two points.

And Minnesota.

And Idaho.

Four for Maryland.

Pennsylvania.

You would have got five for Ohio.

Seven for Montana,

Mississippi

and Illinois.

Eight for New Jersey,

North Carolina.

Nine for Massachusetts,

North Dakota,

South Carolina.

11 for Georgia.

12 for Louisiana.

12 for Maine.

13, New Mexico.

14 for Oregon and Arizona.

24 for New York.

And the top three, Texas - 40,

Florida - 40

and California - 42.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with a high score of 105, I'm sorry,

Louise and Tom, it is you. I am so sorry.

It has been great having you on both shows

and I still feel we haven't seen the very best of you.

Although we had a lovely low score from Tom...

Louise, I'm not looking at you in particular, but thank you so much for coming to play.

It's been great having you here, Louise and Tom.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs it is now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Jane and Catherine, Stan and Katy.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,000.

Well, you know the score at this point,

you can start playing as teams.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

You've all done very well. I mean, Jane and Catherine,

astonishingly well, your first appearance on the show.

You've seen off all of our returning pairs, apart from Stan and Katy.

You have been our lowest scorers each round.

Stan and Katy, well done because you left in Round One last time

and here you are in the head-to-head. Very, very exciting.

It should be very close.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Now, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Famous Qs, Richard.

We're going to show you five clues now to people

whose first name or surname begins with a Q.

You just need to give us the most obscure answer, please.

OK, so let's reveal our five clues to Qs.

Here they are. We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Now, Jane and Catherine,

you have been our low scorers throughout the show,

so you will go first.

(I only know two.)

THEY WHISPER

OK, we only know two. So we're going to go for the top one -

Dorothy in Men Behaving Badly -

Caroline Quentin.

Caroline Quentin say Jane and Catherine.

Now, Stan and Katy, do you want to talk us through that board?

Yeah, go ahead.

The third one down, I think, is Zachary Quinto.

The fourth one is Mary Quant.

The bottom one is Quincy Jones.

I'm not sure about the second one meself.

Yeah, we'll go with Zachary Quinto.

OK, Stan and Katy say Zachary Quinto.

So we have Caroline Quentin and Zachary Quinto.

In the order they were given, Caroline Quentin,

let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it for Jane and Catherine.

It is right.

47.

Stan and Katy meanwhile have gone for Zachary Quinto.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Well done, Zachary Quinto.

Down it goes.

It's actually lower, 21 for Zachary Quinto,

which means, Stan and Katy, after one question you are up 1-0.

Nice answer, Stan, well played. The other two you knew.

Mary Quant would have scored you 50.

And Quincy Jones would have scored you 26.

The best answer on the board is that second one down.

Very well done at home if you said Dennis Quaid.

Dennis Quaid, he would have scored you 19 points.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, here comes your second question.

Jane and Catherine, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

It concerns...

Chinese Five-spice Ingredients.

I'm going to show you the names of some spices commonly found in the mix Chinese five-spice.

-We've removed alternate letters, though. Can you fill in those gaps, please?

-Brilliant.

OK, let's reveal our spices, and here they are.

Spices with spaces.

I'll read those one last time.

Stan and Katy, you will go first this time.

I don't think so.

THEY CONFER

We'll go for the second one, star anise.

Star anise say Stan and Katy. Star anise.

Now, Jane and Catherine,

do you want to talk us through that board?

Well, I think we can have a go at all of them.

I think the top one is cinnamon.

Star anise, fennel...

cloves, but I think the one that we're going to go for,

if I can pronounce it properly, is Szechuan peppercorns.

Szechuan peppercorns.

So we have star anise and we have Szechuan peppercorns.

So, Stan and Katy said star anise. Let's see if it's right

and let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

APPLAUSE

37. Jane and Catherine have gone for Szechuan peppercorns.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

Will it beat 37?

Yes, it will. Well done.

15.

Well done. We are back where we were.

Jane and Catherine, after two questions it is 1-1.

Best two answers on the board, so well played, both teams.

It is cinnamon, cinnamon would have scored...

72.

Fennel would have scored you 65.

And cloves would have been 47.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Here comes your third question this is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Artists On Film, Richard.

I'm going to show you five pictures of artists being portrayed on film.

You need to tell us the name of the artist who is being portrayed.

Very best of luck, both teams.

OK, so let's reveal our five artists and here they are. We've got...

There we are. Five artists portrayed in film.

Jane and Catherine will go first this time.

C could be...

We are going to go for A, which we think is Pablo Picasso.

OK, Pablo Picasso say Jane and Catherine.

Stan and Katy, the board is all yours.

I think they're right with Pablo Picasso.

B is Michelangelo,

C is Vermeer,

D, I think is van Gogh

and E is Andy Warhol.

-C, if you're sure of it.

-We will go for C - Vermeer.

C, Vermeer, say Stan and Katy,

so we have Pablo Picasso and we have Vermeer.

Jane and Catherine said Pablo Picasso.

Let's see if that's right for A.

Very good.

Nice low score there. 18.

Stan and Katy, meanwhile, have said Vermeer for C.

Let's see if that's right and if it is let's see how many people said it.

Oh, it's right.

And it beats...

CHEERING Pointless. Well done.

Not only wins you the point, not only gets you through to the final,

it's pointless.

It adds £250 to today's jackpot, which takes the total up to...

As I say, it get you through to the final.

After three questions, Stan and Katy are through, 2-1.

Again, best two answers on the board. Well played, both teams.

B is Charlton Heston as Michelangelo.

It would have scored you 26.

D is Kirk Douglas as Vincent van Gogh.

That would have scored you 45.

E is David Bowie as Andy Warhol

and that would have scored 31.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving at the end of the head-to-head

I'm afraid to say is Jane and Catherine.

Absolutely haven't put a foot wrong,

you were just underscored by Stan and Katy there with Vermeer.

But it means we will get to see you next time which is great news for us.

We will look forward to that. In the meantime, thanks very much, Jane and Catherine.

APPLAUSE

But for Stan and Katy, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well done, Stan and Katy.

That was slightly against the grain, wasn't it?

I thought for a minute they were going to waltz away with it

but they didn't. You have seen off all your rivals

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £3,250.

APPLAUSE

That £250 there, as you will be well aware, is entirely down to you.

What would you like to see on the board behind me

so you can waltz off with that jackpot?

I think it's got to be sports of the some kind,

that would be a big one for me.

-Stan?

-Greatest hits of The Who.

-OK.

OK, quite specific. Good. Let's see what's on the board behind me.

Let's hope there's something up there that approximates one of those two sorts of things.

Anyway, today's choices look like this. We have got...

Young sporting award winners,

we have got 1950s film musicals and Canada.

What do you reckon?

Well, I'm not a musical person. Rappers.

Yeah, we are not going to go pointless on rappers.

-I think it's got to be award winners.

-Young sporting award winners.

-Yes.

We are going to go with young sporting award winners.

-Best chance, I think.

-Young sporting award winners. Richard.

Yes, three different categories for you here. Hopefully one of these will suit you.

We are looking for any player who has won the PFA Young Player Of The Year award.

All the way through from the '73/'74 season through to 2015.

We are looking for anyone who has won the BBC Young Sports Personality Of The Year award

from when it was first given out in 2001 all the way through to 2014.

We are looking for any tennis player, any male player who has won

the ATP Newcomer Of The Year or Star Of Tomorrow

or any female player who has won the WTA Newcomer Of The Year.

That is from 1975 and 1977 respectively.

So, PFA Young Player Of The Year, BBC Young Sports Personality Of The Year

or ATP or WTA Newcomer Of The Year Or Star Of Tomorrow.

Very, very best of luck.

Now, as always you have got one minute to come up three answers.

All you need to win the jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Have you got anything?

-Not really. The obvious ones.

Young Personality...

Or PFA Young Player Of The Year, I can't think back into the '70s.

The recent ones will not be pointless.

-Throw some names out there. Young players.

-Going back a while, maybe Paul Allen.

He starred in a cup final when he was really young.

Tennis players, Mark Philippoussis was really good when he was young.

-I think.

-That's going back a bit.

I know the name, but it's worth a shot.

-Somebody like that.

-I reckon the only ones... Michael Owen...

He's a bit too recent.

Yeah, we need to go back. Think of a big star of the time.

A young star.

Goalkeepers?

-Strikers?

-Goalkeepers.

-Ten seconds left.

Michael Owen is obvious, too obvious.

-Sports personality, Tom Daley perhaps.

-Yeah, give it a go.

OK, that's your time up there. I need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

There's nothing we're certain of.

-We'll go for Paul Allen as the PFA Young Player Of The Year.

-Paul Allen.

-Tom Daley for BBC Young Sports Personality Of The Year.

-Tom Daley.

And the ATP Newcomer Of The Year, Mark Philippoussis.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think Tom Daley is the most likely to be right.

-OK, so Tom Daley we'll put last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Paul Allen.

Paul Allen, we'll put first.

OK, let's pop those answers on the board in that order, then.

Here they are.

We have got Paul Allen, Mark Philippoussis and Tom Daley.

Best of luck.

Three good answers there.

I don't know if they're right, who knows how they'll score

but they sound good. That's the main thing.

Let's just imagine one of those is pointless

and wins you that jackpot. 3,250 quid, that's quite a decent jackpot.

What would you do with it, Stan?

I fancy a trip to South Africa, Cape Town and maybe take in a test match.

Very good. Katy?

F1 is a bit of a passion and it's an expensive hobby,

so it would go a long way towards me perhaps touring Europe.

I've always fancied Spa, as it's the ultimate classic track.

So... Maybe Monaco. A bit of spending money.

-That should probably cover it.

-Very good. Well, best of luck.

Three good answers, as I say. In the first case, you answered Paul Allen.

This is the one you thought was the least likely to be pointless.

We were looking for PFA Young Player Of The Year.

It has to be right and it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

For £3,250, let's see how many of our 100 people said Paul Allen.

OK, not Paul Allen.

One incorrect answer, which means you only have two more shots

at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Mark Philippoussis,

in this case we were looking for ATP Newcomer Of The Year.

OK, it has to be pointless again for you to win that jackpot.

For £3,250, let's see how many people said Mark Philippoussis.

It's right.

Now, your first answer Paul Allen was incorrect

but Mark Philippoussis is absolutely bang on the money.

Down it goes through the teens.

Into single figures.

Still going down.

Still going down.

You've done it.

Very, very well done indeed.

Brilliant. CHEERING

Excellent. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

What about that? Congratulations.

Mark Philippoussis was a Pointless answer

which means you leave here today with your jackpot of £3,250.

-Well done.

-Brilliant.

Tom Daley would have scored you 14 points,

so Mark Philippoussis doing a lot of good work for you there.

Loads of pointless answers in the football and the tennis categories.

Let's take a look at all the different ones.

PFA Young Player Of The Year, you could've had

Matt Le Tissier, Paul Merson, Robbie Fowler, Scott Parker of Fulham.

You could've had Craig Bellamy, Cyrille Regis, Gary Shaw,

Harry Kewell, Ian Rush, James Milner, Jermaine Jenas,

Kevin Beattie, Kyle Walker, Mark Hughes, Mervyn Day,

Nicolas Anelka, Paul Walsh, Peter Barnes,

Steve Moran, Tony Adams, Tony Cottee, Tony Woodcock -

all pointless answers.

Well done if you said any of those.

Let's take a look at the BBC Young Sports Personality Of The Year.

You could have had Amy Spencer,

Harry Aikines-Aryeetey, the sprinter,

Josef Craig, the swimmer, or Lauren Taylor, the golfer.

Kate Haywood, the other pointless answer in that category.

Let's take a look at some of these tennis players.

Loads of answers here as well.

Caroline Wozniacki, Gabriella Sabatini,

Jennifer Capriati, all pointless answers.

There's Mark Philippoussis. You could have had Andrea Jaeger

Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Conchita Martinez,

Kei Nishikori, Kim Clijsters, Marat Safin, Michael Chang,

Pat Rafter, Vitas Gerulaitis, loads of pointless answers.

You have been brilliant for two shows. It's been lovely having you here.

Congratulations on taking that money back to mighty Stoke-on-Trent.

Thanks very much.

Thanks once again to our winning players, Stan and Katy,

who go away with today's jackpot of £3,250.

APPLAUSE, CHEERING

Join us next time when we will be putting more obscure knowledge

-to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.