Episode 44 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the show where the aim of the game

is to avoid the obvious answers and find the obscure ones.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Holly. This is my partner, Dan, and we're from West London.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Alan. This is my very good friend, Jim,

and we're from Carshalton in Surrey.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Louise. This is my dad, Adrian.

We're from Cardiff and Swansea.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Yatish. This is my sister, Hemisha.

We're from Hendon, North London.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much to all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Sitting there at the naughty desk like a petulant preschooler,

-it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

-Afternoon, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

What a show we had last time.

-What a show.

-Amazing.

Cassandra and Rachel absolutely blitzed all the way through.

We learned a new word in the first round, polysemous,

words which mean the same.

They blitzed through that.

They even managed to get through a golfers and snooker players round.

-Yeah.

-In the head-to-head...

-We learned a new herb.

We did learn a new herb.

-Hyssop.

-Hyssop, which they informed us of.

-Yeah.

In every single question in that head-to-head,

they got the best possible answer on the board. It was very impressive.

In the final round, they had X Factor winners

and they knew about all that as well -

as lots of very bright people do. £6,250 they walked away with -

and very deservedly so as well.

It was a very impressive performance.

Only one pair back from that show, Louise and Adrian,

who were knocked out in the first round.

Very unluckily knocked out in the first round with a very low score,

so, hopefully, you'll see a bit more of them on this show

and welcome, everybody else, to a brand-new show

-with a lovely, lower jackpot.

-LAUGHTER

Good news for everybody.

I think apart from poor old Cassandra and Rachel,

-who've now got the problem of all that money.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Cassandra and Rachel, as you may have gathered,

won the jackpot last time.

So, today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

Right, if we're all ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

So, the cardinal rule, as ever, is this -

the highest scoring pair at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Simply that. Do what you can to make sure you are not that pair.

OK, our first category this afternoon...

Prime Ministers. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many...

HE REPEATS QUESTION

-Richard.

-Yeah, looking for any UK Prime Minister,

all the way from Walpole in the 18th century

through to May 2015, whose surname begins from A to M.

Looking for their family name.

So, there's been all sorts of earls and marquises, and dukes.

None of those names, please.

Just the family names of any British Prime Minister.

Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, so, British Prime Ministers.

Anyway, Holly, let's put that to the back of our minds for a moment.

Ha, back of minds, ha-ha.

You can keep thinking about that but,

meanwhile, tell me what you do, Holly.

I actually work for a children's charity.

We're a wish-granting charity

so we grant wishes for seriously and terminally ill children.

So, I'm a wish granter.

You're like a fairy godmother.

I do have a magic wand on my desk.

-You do?

-Yeah.

Which of the many kinds of magic wand?

-Because I have been looking at them online.

-Just a sparkly one.

Just a sparkly one?

You went for the sparkly, OK.

A wish granter, that is wonderful.

-How long have you been doing that?

-Just over a year.

Presumably, you hope to do that for as long as you possibly can.

-Yeah, definitely.

-Fabulous.

What are your interests outside of granting wishes?

I like cooking, baking,

looking after our pet budgie, called Howard.

We got him a few months ago.

Howard, the obvious name for a budgie.

We've been training him.

When we got him, he was really scared

-and wouldn't come out of his cage.

-Does he speak?

In his own language.

We're teaching him key phrases. "I love you."

I'm trying to teach him to say, "I love you"

so he says that back to me, but... He'll get there.

-Does he tweet?

-He tweets a lot.

LAUGHTER

Holly, now, Prime Ministers

whose surnames begin with the letters

A to M in the alphabet.

Well, I'm going to start with an A.

It's come to me. I think it's a Prime Minister.

Clement Attlee.

Clement Attlee, says Holly.

Sounds good to me. Let's see how many of our 100 liked Clement Attlee.

It's right.

26. APPLAUSE

26 for Clement Attlee.

1945-1951.

Oversaw the setting up of the health service

and all sorts of things post-war.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Now then, Alan.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-What do you do, Alan?

-I'm a London firefighter.

-Where are you based?

-I'm currently based at Brixton.

I've been serving for 25 years.

And your interests, aside from fighting fires?

I do a lot of outdoor stuff -

walking, swimming,

a bit of open water swimming...

I swam the Channel, I swam Loch Ness.

You throw these out casually, Alan. You swam the Channel?!

I'm trying to delay the answer to my question at the moment.

You might have said that first.

I'd have said that before I even said I was a firefighter, probably.

-When did you do that?

-I think it was about 2009. There were three of us.

We did it as a relay.

Blimey!

-Do you look back on fondly or was that...?

-It was great. Yeah.

The Channel was brilliant.

The Loch Ness was a little more scary.

-Really? Just colder?

-Just cold and dark...

-and it's got a monster.

-Yeah.

There must be several monsters, surely. There can't just be one.

I should think 15 at least.

Now, Alan, what are we going to go for?

Prime Ministers, A to M.

I am going to take an easy option

because Attlee was mine,

but I will go Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Gordon Brown.

It's right.

Wow. APPLAUSE

47.

Blimey. 47.

2007-2010. I know.

53 people had already forgotten.

-Perhaps they just forgot his surname.

-Maybe they did.

-Maybe they did.

-He was christened James Brown, of course.

-Yeah.

Should've stuck with it. There we go.

Now, Adrian, welcome back.

Now, listen, it was Round One last time we had to say goodbye to you.

-It was very, very unlucky. You just happen to be high-scorers.

-Tragic.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers. Great answers, in fact.

Anyway, let's not dwell on that.

Remind us what you do, Adrian.

I'm a songwriter and music producer.

So, when you're...

A normal day for you...

Are you in your studio?

When I'm not watching cricket or football, yes.

-As a songwriter, that's kind of work as well, isn't it?

-Kind of.

If anyone says, "What are you doing?"

You say, "Just thinking of songs."

I write songs like that all the time. LAUGHTER

-I just forget to write them down, that's the trouble.

-All right.

Now, then, Adrian, what would you like to go for?

We need a nice, low score. Simply...

I'm forbidding you leaving any earlier than at least the final.

"You've never had it so good", Harold Macmillan.

Harold Macmillan.

Just under M there.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 said Harold Macmillan.

It's right.

Well, 26 is our low scorer at this point.

You past it, 23.

Well done, Adrian. APPLAUSE

Good job, lowest score so far.

1957-1963.

-When I was in the Cubs, he gave us a medal.

-Did he really?

-Yeah, he did, yeah.

-Was he nice?

He seemed perfectly all right.

I have no truck with him whatsoever.

What was your medal?

I don't remember what it was for.

I think it was just for being in the Cubs.

-I don't think I did anything particularly...

-A Macmillan medal?

Yes, I don't think I'd saved a dog from a house or anything.

I think it was just the dint of being a Cub.

I bet Alan's saved a dog from a house.

How many dogs have you saved from houses, Alan?

I've saved a snake and a couple of rats.

I didn't ask about snakes.

Snakes.

-Snakes and rats?

-Yeah.

They were tame rats or just rats...?

Rats in cages, yeah.

OK, very good.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Yatish...

-Yeah.

-Welcome to the show. Great to have you here from Hendon.

-Yep.

What do you do, Yatish?

I'm a software consultant in the City at the moment.

I was working in Eastern Europe for a while, now back in London.

OK, so, a software consultant is different from IT, isn't it?

Yeah, a little bit, a little bit.

You provide the stuff at the beginning

and then run away and leave it to the IT guys to run.

Delegate wherever possible and

hide for cover if anything goes wrong.

Absolutely fantastic.

And what do you do in your spare time, Yatish?

I like travelling,

playing guitar very badly

and follow cricket, quite passionately.

Very good indeed. OK, now, Yatish,

how we feeling about Prime Ministers?

This is OK, I think.

I'm trying to think back to my A-level politics days.

-Oh, I see.

-Yeah.

-Yes, good.

Quite a while ago now but there's one I've got in mind

which I'm going to try for and that's Arthur Balfour.

"Arthur Balfour," says Yatish.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Arthur Balfour.

Well, 23 is our low scorer at this point.

Arthur Balfour goes past that.

Look at that, just one!

APPLAUSE

Yatish, THAT is a good score.

1902-05, Yatish. Great one. Did you hear the murmur from the audience

when he came up with it, as well? They were very impressed.

I wonder if, in 110 years' time, I wonder if Gordon Brown

-will still get 1, or whether...

-LAUGHTER

..he may be doomed to the list of pointless answers I have here?

But then he'll... That takes on a certain charm.

-People love pointless answers.

-Yeah, I guess so.

Perhaps Gordon Brown will be the Central African Republic of...

Exactly, of politics. LAUGHTER

There we are. Thanks, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. Yatish,

impressive low scoring there with Arthur Balfour.

1, that scores you.

Then up to 23, where we find Adrian and Louise.

26, Holly and Dan,

and then 47, Alan and Jim.

Now, Jim, Alan is in very good hands, there, I'm sure.

You look like somebody who's got

an absolute ace Prime Minister up your sleeve there.

-Have you seen these hands?

-Yeah. LAUGHTER

Best of luck with that, Jim.

We need you to stay with us at the end of this round.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-Now then, Hemisha, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

What do you do, Hemisha?

I'm an administrator who works for a company

that conducts private medicals around the UK.

-Oh, I see, so for insurance purposes.

-Yes, that's it.

Oh, that's quite nice. So, when people conduct private...

-You send... You dispatch people out.

-Yes.

People don't have to come into you.

Yeah, we match up nurses to what area they're in,

-where clients are.

-Very good, indeed,

and what are your interests outside of that?

Like my brother, I like travelling.

I like reading.

-I also take a self-defence class once a week.

-You TAKE it?

-Yes.

-You are the... You are the guru?

-No.

-What is the...? Oh, no, you turn up.

-I'm the student.

You attend. I see, when you said you took it,

I was thinking you were perhaps teaching people.

-What's the self-defence class?

-It's called Krav Maga.

Krav Maga - how is that?

What makes Krav Maga Krav Maga and not something else?

-What's the difference?

-It's like an Israeli

-self-defence technique.

-I see.

-Yes, I've just started,

so I'm still on the lower belts.

-So you have belts for Krav Maga?

-Yes, I'm currently on white belt.

-White belt.

-Working up to yellow.

Very good. OK. Very good.

Now, you're also currently the lowest-scoring pair.

There you are on 1, and the highest scorers, Jim and Alan, are on 47,

so, 45 or less keeps you out of harm's way.

Thankfully, my brother's got a brilliant answer,

cos I'm not great on this subject,

but I think I'm going to go for David Lloyd George.

David Lloyd George.

OK, not bad at all. There's your Red Line.

Get below that with David Lloyd George

and through you go to Round Two.

Well done. You've done it.

The far podium are doing extremely well.

13, taking your total up to 14 - our lowest total of the round,

-by some margin.

-Another very good answer, yeah.

Well played, podium four.

David Lloyd George, of course, all three of his names begin A to M.

That's very impressive, isn't it?

Very, very impressive.

-That is going the extra mile, isn't it?

-Although, how about you?

I haven't really thought about your name. You've got two As.

-I know.

-That's unbelievable.

-I know. Ah, but still...

-You barely trouble the alphabet.

I know, I know.

Even C hasn't heard of me,

but I don't hold the highest political office in the land.

-That's the trouble.

-Not yet.

-Yeah, not yet.

And then this clip will get used, like, a lot,

when you're Prime Minister,

and we'll get paid £250 each time it gets used.

-Oh, that's good.

-I'll say, "You'll never be Prime Minister!"

That's ridiculous. If you're Prime Minister, I will eat my hat.

-Oh, yeah?

-There we go.

-Oh, that's lots of hat-shaped cakes coming your way.

-Exactly right.

-There we go. Now, Louise, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Welcome back.

Remind us, what do you do, Louise?

I work for a not-for-profit organisation

and we take out digital opportunities to the community.

So, presumably, you're - I mean, digitally speaking -

you have to be incredibly well-versed.

You have to know every last thing.

I do the translation between the techie stuff

out to the community, so...

-Right, I see, so you're the go-between.

-Yes.

You're the liaison between the tech, Yatish's end of things...

-Yes.

-..and the community.

Right you are. And your interests, aside from that, Louise?

-I teach drama, so every weekend, I've got...

-Lovely.

I've got two classes that I regularly teach.

Do you do dance and singing as well?

Yes. Not my... Not my forte.

We have other teachers who come in and do them, but, yeah,

we just have a blast. The kids are wonderful, so...

-What sort of age are the kids?

-Right up from...

Right from 4 right up to 16-17.

-Wonderful.

-So we teach, kind of, three classes per school.

-Lovely.

Now, you're on 23. The high-scorers are still Jim and Alan on 47.

23 is actually the score you need to get. 23 or less.

I've got an answer but I'm not convinced

it's going to be a low-scorer.

I'm going to go with John Major.

John Major, says Louise.

Here's your Red Line.

If you can get below that

with John Major, you're into the next round.

Good luck. How many people said John Major?

It's right.

Not bad. 53.

53, well, it's exciting, either way.

76 is your total. That could be enough to get you through.

-1990-97. He beats Gordon Brown.

-Mmm.

-Mmm.

-Mmm.

-How about that?

-Interesting.

Interesting. Now, then, Jim.

Jim, welcome.

I think I have a hunch I know what you do, but tell us anyway.

I too am a London firefighter.

A London firefighter, and where are you based?

-I'm at Battersea.

-Battersea.

So who...? Where were you together?

West Norwood.

-Oh, I see, so you both moved on.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Is that normal to move on,

or is it just that you...?

-It's horses for courses.

-Right.

You know, some people like to stay in one place

but I've moved around a bit.

It's quite exciting, though, isn't it?

Cos in a terrible way,

it's never short of drama, shall we say?

Yeah, you'd be surprised at what we still turn out to.

Obviously, a lot of cats, a lot of trees.

It's a family show, as well.

Yeah. OK. Ah.

Oh, I hadn't thought about that.

You need quite a strong stomach,

-don't you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Now,

-have you got the STOMACH for this round?

-Very good.

-This is just impeccable stuff, isn't it?

-Good stuff.

Now, Jim, yes, what we need is

a score of 28 or less, Jim.

Come on.

-Edward Heath.

-Edward Heath.

It has to get you below that Red Line. Can he do it?

It's right.

Oh, Jim, it's good. Oh, no! GROANING

30. 30 for Edward Heath.

Takes your total up to 77.

-You are our current high-scorers.

-That was close.

Yeah, Edward Heath, the Tory Prime Minister from '70-'74.

-Goodness me. Now, then, Dan, welcome, welcome.

-Thanks.

Here from London.

-West London, indeed.

-Yeah.

What do you do, Dan?

I own a mobile personal training business in West London.

That's fantastic.

Mobile personal training, so you go round to people's houses

or gardens or whatever with all your weights.

I put them in the boot. I don't really...

-See, that's quite nice, though, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, very nice.

Saves you a trip to the gym, so I come to you.

Saves you time. You can't hide, then, either.

Very good, and you have a whole load of clients.

-When did you start it?

-Yeah.

Started it about five years ago,

started with just myself, and now

I've got a team of eight trainers,

-and we cover the whole of London.

-Wow.

And your interests aside from that,

does that leave you a lot of time?

A bit of time. Sports, obviously, football. Wakeboarding as well.

I like a bit of wakeboarding,

and I'm into music. I like going to gigs and things,

-and, yeah.

-Excellent.

Now, Dan, there you are.

We've come to the end of this round, and this is very exciting.

-You have to score 50 or less.

-I know. The pressure is on.

-50 or less.

-Right...

I don't know how the score will be,

but hopefully it's below 50.

I'm going to go for Anthony Eden.

Anthony... Oh, there we go, there's that buzz again. LAUGHTER

Anthony Eden. Anthony Eden, says Dan. Let's see. Here's your Red Line.

You have to get below that with Anthony Eden. Can you?

There's your answer. Yes, you can and you do.

And look at that. 12.

Well done, you.

12 is our second-lowest score of the round. Very well done, Dan.

38 is your total.

Great play, Dan. From '55-'57, Anthony Eden.

I'll take you through the low-scorers,

before we look at the pointless answers.

Plenty of pointless answers.

You'd have got 4 for Andrew Bonar Law,

3 for Henry Campbell Bannerman,

and 1 for Balfour, as we saw, which was a terrific answer.

1 for Spencer Compton and 1 for William Cavendish.

Lots of pointless answers.

A lot of these, actually, are the full names of the people

we know as dukes and earls and marquesses, but...

so there's some great answers in here.

Charles Grey, who was Earl Grey.

George Canning, who was only Prime Minister for four months.

It's a terrific answer. George Grenville.

George Hamilton Gordon.

Henry Addington is a pointless answer.

Robert Banks Jenkinson is a pointless answer.

Robert Gascoyne-Cecil - Prime Minister three times.

William Lamb, William Wyndham Grenville,

so, all of those are pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the top three answers -

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

-There we are.

-But Cameron, only 66.

That's... I guess people...

You immediately look back, don't you, if you're asked that question?

-I suppose you do.

-Immediately start looking to history

-and you kind of forget...

-The current incumbent.

-Yeah.

Thanks. At the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with our high score, not that far

in front of the rest of the field, but Jim and Alan, it is you.

We will see you again next time. We'll look forward to that very much.

-But meantime, thanks very much, Jim and Alan.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, now time for Round Two.

OK, now we're down to three pairs. At the end of this round,

we'll have to say goodbye to another of our pairs.

Yatish, congratulations to you.

Wonderful low score there with Balfour. Great answer, there -

lowest individual score.

Well done, Dan. Lovely low-scoring from you as well.

And Louise and Adrian, well done -

by one point, here you are in Round Two.

We've done twice as well as we did last time.

Let's hope it gets you into the head-to-head as well.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon...

Song Titles. Can you all decide in your pairs,

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Songs with cities in their title. Richard.

-On each board,

we're going to show you six top-40 hits with cities in their titles.

We need you to tell us the name of the act who had the top-40 hit

with them, in the year shown, please.

-We're going to show you their initials, as well.

-Very good.

So, who had hits with these songs with cities in their titles?

And our first board reads like this...

So, we have...

Holly, it's over to you.

OK, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

I do know a few.

I'm going to go for the most recent one,

which is Budapest - George Ezra.

-George Ezra, says Holly.

-Yeah.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said George Ezra.

Absolutely right.

Good answer, Holly.

Look at that. 16 for George Ezra.

Great start to the round.

That's a great song, that, as well.

He's got a little scar on his forehead, George Ezra,

which he got when he was in college,

and Marky Ramone from the Ramones was doing a lecture,

and he wanted to go there so much

that he actually smacked his head running to the lecture.

He cut it open, but he didn't want to miss the lecture,

so sat through it for an hour,

and, obviously, by the end of that hour,

he was in need of quite serious medical attention...

-Wow.

-..and had a scar to remember it by.

-That's a good story.

-Bet he just fell off his bike, but still...

-Oh, yeah, he probably did.

Oh, it's a great story. Now, Adrian.

Adrian, what would you like to go for?

Better get this right...

You better had.

Tulips From Amsterdam -

Max Bygraves.

Max Bygraves, says Adrian.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right. Now, 16 is our only score at this point.

Max Bygraves...

26.

-Yeah, the George Ezra of his day.

-LAUGHTER

He got his little scar, the Beverley Sisters were giving a talk

and he ran into a thing and...

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Yatish, do you fancy talking us through this whole board,

-and seeing how many of them you can fill in?

-I'll try.

I think Vienna is Ultravox.

Tony Christie - Is This The Way To Amarillo.

Don't know the bottom one,

but I'm going to go for Walking In Memphis,

which I think is Mark Cohn.

Mark Cohn, says Yatish. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mark Cohn.

It's right.

Well, 26, our high score. 16 our low.

It's a low-scoring round.

You pass both of those.

Down you go to 6.

Once again, that far podium looking

pretty masterful at this point.

Best answer on the board, Yatish.

Yatish is good, isn't he?

-He's very good.

-Very, very good.

Vienna is Ultravox.

-It's quite a low score - 39.

-Really?

-I thought that would score loads.

-Look at that, 39.

You're right about Tony Christie - Is This The Way To Amarillo?

45 points for that.

And can you have a guess at Tokyo Joe, with those initials?

It's Bryan Ferry.

Bryan Ferry is the right answer,

-and that would have scored 12.

-Yeah. Thanks very much.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

6, very well done, Yatish and Hemisha,

looking very strong. Then up to 16, Holly and Dan.

Now, Adrian and Louise,

you're out in front again. 26. I don't know how that happened.

-Max Bygraves let you down a bit.

-Yeah.

I thought he might have gone further down the column,

but he didn't, which puts pressure on you, Louise.

Good luck with this next board.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more songs with cities in their titles

up on the board, and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Well, now, Hemisha.

-Are you happy with this board?

-Much.

I didn't know any on the last board.

Oh, phew.

I know three on this board.

I think the lowest would probably be the bottom one - TBS.

The Beautiful South.

The Beautiful South, says Hemisha.

Now, here is your Red Line.

If you can get below that, you're into the head-to-head for sure.

How many people said The Beautiful South?

GROANING 30 for the beautiful South.

I think that's good enough.

36 is your total.

It's a good answer, Hemisha.

Just one of a string of just absurdly catchy songs

-that The Beautiful South released.

-There we are.

-Now, Louise, you know what you have to do here.

-I know.

9 or less, if you can do it.

I'm feeling the pressure and I don't think I've got a low enough answer,

so I'm going to go with London Calling and The Clash.

OK, The Clash says Louise.

The Clash. Here's your Red Line. You have to get below that.

It's quite low, but maybe The Clash will get you down there.

Let's find out.

It's right.

48. 48 takes your total up to 74.

-Well, the round's not over.

-Yeah, a high score for a great song.

They play that at Fulham at half-time.

I think they play it at a lot of the London clubs,

but we're the ones who "live by the river", so it's really ours,

and the other London clubs

-should not be allowed to play it.

-Shouldn't really, no,

unless they can demonstrate some lyric from the song

-that is of relevance.

-Yeah, exactly,

and "I live by the river". That's us.

Arsenal were playing it the other day,

and I thought, "You don't live by a river."

Well, thank you, Richard. Now, Dan.

Dan, a little bit of pressure off you, now, at this point.

You have to score 57 or less.

Talk us through the board, if you can.

Belfast Child, I'm not too keen on.

Either... The one below that, either.

Stranger In Moscow is Michael Jackson,

and Munich, I have a feeling it's Editors.

I'm going to go with Editors - Munich.

OK, Editors, says Dan.

Here's your Red Line.

Quite nice and high.

If you can get below that with Editors, through you go.

It just has to be right, I would say. Is it?

It is.

And you're through. Well done. Head-to-head.

Oh, it's a great answer - 5.

Once again, we have a brilliant answer from the near podium.

Very well played, Dan.

21 is your total.

Brilliant, Dan. Best answer on the board. Terrific play.

Of course, the lead singer of Editors is the Smith from

-Smith & Burrows, our favourite group.

-Of course, yeah.

That's nice, isn't it? He's got a lovely voice.

Now, Belfast Child is Simple Minds.

19 points for that.

What an awful lot of people,

myself included, consider to be

the greatest song ever written,

Wichita Lineman, is Glen Campbell.

-Glen Campbell, yeah.

-Very well done if you said that - 17.

And, Stranger In Moscow is, of course, Michael Jackson,

and that would have scored 37.

Thank you very much, Richard, so at the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home...

You've done twice as well as you did last time.

Again, you haven't put a foot wrong.

Nothing, no incorrect answers. You're just our high-scorers.

Louise and Adrian, we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been great having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing, Louise and Adrian.

-Thank you.

But for Hemisha and Yatish, Holly and Dan,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

CHEERING

Very well done, Hemisha and Yatish, Holly and Dan.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance

to play for our jackpot, which is still standing at £1,000.

Well, this is where we decide who goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. You can now start playing as teams.

The first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that £1,000 jackpot.

Well, do you know what?

This is a clash of the titans - our bookend titans.

We've had really good low scores from each of you,

so this, I think, will be very, very interesting.

Best of luck to both pairs. Couldn't call this one.

Let's play the head-to-head.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Famous Julias, Richard.

We are going to show you five pictures now of famous people

called Julia.

We need you to tell us the most obscure, please,

-but we are going to need surnames as well, I'm afraid.

-Ugh!

-If you just say Julia, it's not...

-Oh, no.

-Otherwise... You know what?

Otherwise I'd just think, "You know what? They could be cheating."

"They're going to go for 'C - Julia', I think."

OK, let's reveal our Julias, and here they come,

a bunch of Julias, starting with...

There we are - five Julias.

Now, Hemisha and Yatish,

you've been our low-scorers

throughout the show,

so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

OK, had a good look at that.

I think we know a couple.

And I think we'll stick with

the politics theme and go for E

-and Julia Gillard.

-Julia Gillard,

say Hemisha and Yatish.

Julia Gillard. Now, then, Holly and Dan, the board's all yours.

-Talk us through the Julias.

-Well, how many Julias do you know?

I know one Julia on the board,

so, unfortunately,

we can't talk you through any more.

Talk us through the one you know.

The one we know - C is Julia Roberts.

It's going to be high, though, isn't it?

I feel like I should know B, but...

-Julia Brown?

-No...

No idea. Julia Roberts.

OK, C - Julia Roberts.

So, we have Julia Gillard and Julia Roberts.

Hemisha and Yatish said Julia Gillard.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-5.

-CHEERING

Good answer. Good score.

Holly and Dan, meanwhile, have said that C is Julia Roberts.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right. Ooh, 88.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Well, you either know your Julias or you don't.

Hemisha and Yatish, very well done.

After one question, you're up one-nil.

Hemisha and Yatish are a machine. That's another great answer.

Yeah, of course, that's the first

female Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.

-She's going to be played in the film of her life by Julia Roberts.

-LAUGHTER

-That'll be nice.

-She's not really.

She's going to be played by Jodie Foster.

-Now, A is...

-Julia McKenzie.

The lovely Julia McKenzie.

I bet you've worked with Julia McKenzie.

-I have worked with Julia McKenzie, yeah.

-26 points.

-B is...

-Julia Sawalha.

Julia Sawalha, yeah,

and that would have scored you 47.

Now, D, she was Children's Laureate, author of the Gruffalo...

-Julia Donaldson.

-Julia Donaldson.

That's a pointless answer, so very well done if you said that.

Brilliant. Thank you very much, indeed.

OK, here comes your second question.

Holly and Dan, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

It concerns...

Cured Meats, Richard.

We're going to show you five types of cured meat now,

but with alternate letters removed.

-Can you recure them, please?

-Oh, good.

-And give us the most obscure answer.

-Thank you very much.

OK, here come our cured meats with bites taken out, and we have...

Holly and Dan will go first.

-Is that how you say it?

-Yeah, yeah, that's how you say it.

Erm...

-You say it.

-Go on.

-OK, prosciutto.

Prosciutt-io or pros-kiutt-io

is the one we are going to go for, I think,

cos that's the only one we can really pick out

that might be slightly obscure-ish.

OK, "prosciutt-io", you're going to go for.

Right, now, then, Hemisha and Yatish.

-Erm, it's a tricky one, that.

-Yeah.

I think that's one that we, kind of, are guessing,

but we're not sure the pronunciation. Erm...

Erm, we'll go for the third one.

-Yeah.

-Pancetta.

OK, pancetta. So, we have,

from Holly and Stan, we have "prosciutt-io".

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said "prosciutt-io".

I'm really sorry. I'm afraid that's very minutely wrong.

Hemisha and Yatish have gone for pancetta. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said pancetta.

That's right, which is all it needed to be.

22.

And that means, after only two questions,

Hemisha and Yatish, you are through to the final, two-nil.

Yeah, it's just prosciutto - "prosciutt-io", in a normal round,

we might have taken, but given we've shown you the letters

that are missed out, we couldn't take it.

Would have scored you too many points, anyway.

-Oh, that's fine.

-OK.

-It would have scored you 43.

Now, how good are you on this?

I bet you this is a thing you're rather good at.

The bottom is...

-It looks like steak...

-..speck.

-..but it's speck.

Absolutely, that would have scored you 4 points.

The top is bresaola. Bresaola.

Bresaola, yeah, that would have scored you 2 points.

Cured, air-dried beef, that is,

and this other one,

very well done at home

if you said guanciale.

-Guanciale.

-There you go. Yeah.

-It's a pointless answer.

Terrific answer as well.

It's pork, but they marinate it in salt and pepper and chilli

and sometimes sugar for, like, a month,

-and then...

-And then throw it out.

-..send it to you.

-Throw it out.

-LAUGHTER

Stick it on some bacon and lovely.

-Mmm.

-Mmm. Oh! LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Holly and Dan, it is you.

Such a strong performance all the way through.

It's great news for us, cos it means we get

to see you again next time.

We know you'll do just as well, if not better then.

But, meantime, thanks very much for playing.

Holly and Dan, great contestants.

But for Hemisha and Yatish, it's time for our Pointless final.

CHEERING

Well, congratulations, Hemisha and Yatish.

You've seen off all your rivals,

and you have carried off the coveted Pointless trophy,

-so very well done, indeed.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot...

-Yeah.

..and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There we are, but just staggering play.

I mean, really, really faultless.

Lowest score in Round One, lowest score in Round Two with Mark Cohn,

and Balfour in Round One.

Then, in the head-to-head,

we had some great low scores from you as well,

-so, I mean, absolutely faultless Pointless performance.

-Thank you.

Anything in particular you'd want to see come up in this last round?

I'm not sure, really.

-No, it's...

-I think something Geography, or maybe Movies.

Something like that might be good. Maybe Sport. It's a tricky one.

It's all a bit of a blur at the moment in our minds, so...

-We're shocked.

-We're just kind of hoping, you know.

-OK, let's hope there's something on the board you like the look of.

-Yeah.

Today's selection reads like this. We've got...

I don't think Japan, right?

-No, and not Modern Writers.

-Not Modern Writers.

-Number 12 in film? Probably not.

-20...?

-Should we got for 2015 Sporting Events, yeah?

-OK, yeah.

I think, by process of elimination,

I think we'll go for 2015 Sporting Tournaments.

-OK, let's see what is there.

-OK, good luck.

You've been absolutely sensational throughout the whole show.

I hope you can continue that run with one of these three questions.

We are looking for...

So, any team in the last 16 of either of those.

Or any players in...

So, football teams in the last 16 of the FA Cup or League Cup,

male players in the last 16 of the BDO or PDC World Darts Championships

or players in the last 16 Men's or Women's Singles Championships

at the Australian Open. Very best of luck.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to a minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

-to turn out pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock,

and there they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK.

-OK, I think, definitely not the football.

-Or darts.

-That'd be just completely guessing on that -

FA Cup and the League Cup.

I might know a couple like Derby County and Nottingham Forest,

I was thinking of, but I think both of those

-will be just pure guesses.

-No, no.

-Stick with tennis?

-Yeah, stick with tennis. Women's?

-Women's.

Victoria Azarenka.

Yeah. Agnieszka Radwanska.

Yeah.

-The girl who won Wimbledon last year, Petra Kvitova.

-Yeah.

And I can't remember the other one I had, Vera...

-Vera Zvonareva.

-Vera Zvonareva.

I think that would be a...

-Yeah.

-I don't know how well they did in the Australian

-cos I just watched the Men's final, so...

-No, I don't.

-Erm...

-Just going on past performance.

-I think I'm just going on past,

-last year's Wimbledon.

-Yeah, what about men's?

Men's... Tomas Berdych. Stan Wawrinka.

It's just the obvious ones.

-I think they may be low rather than pointless.

-Ten seconds left.

Yeah, shall we stick with the women?

Yeah, so not Victoria.

Shall we go for Agnieszka, Vera, Petra, maybe?

OK, that's your time up.

-Let's have your three answers.

-OK.

And it sounds like all three of them are going to be women tennis

-players in the Australian Open.

-I think so. I think so.

-We'll go for all three for the last category...

-OK.

..and we'll go for Petra Kvitova...

Petra Kvitova.

..Agnieszka Radwanska...

Agnieszka Radwanska.

-..and Vera Zvonareva.

-Zvonareva.

And Vera Zvonareva. OK, three great answers.

Like a collection of Bond girls, though, I think.

Absolutely, or an awful lot of Scrabble letters. You'll win a lot.

Erm, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-You know what? I think Petra...

-Petra Kvitova.

-Petra Kvitova.

-Petra goes last.

-I think so.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Probably Agnieszka,

because I don't even know if she did that well.

-OK, Agnieszka goes first.

-Yeah, I think so.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board

in that order, then, and here they are.

We have got...

Very, very best of luck.

Three great answers up on the board, there.

Now, let's hope at least one of those is pointless

and you win that jackpot.

What would you do with your share of the jackpot, Hemisha?

Probably go on a really nice holiday.

I've always wanted to see the Northern lights in Iceland,

so it'd probably go towards that.

Wonderful. Yatish, how about you?

I'd like to go travelling, as well, but South America.

I've not been there before.

I'd like to do the Inca Trail. Definitely, yeah.

Perfect. Wonderful. Let's hope one of these answers is pointless

and wins that jackpot for you.

Your first answer was Agnieszka Radwanska.

In this case - well, in fact, all cases - we were looking for the

last 16 in the Women's Singles Tennis Championships at the Australian Open.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £1,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people have said Agnieszka Radwanska.

-It's right.

-Oh, surprising.

OK, well, that's good news.

Good shot in the arm at this stage.

If this goes all the way down to 0,

you will leave with our jackpot of £1,000.

Agnieszka Radwanska

taking us down to single figures.

Down it goes. Still going down.

You've got it! Straight in. Look at that!

-Unbelievable!

-CHEERING

-Very, very well done, indeed.

-I can't believe it.

-Absolutely fantastic. Very well done. Brilliant.

-Oh, my God.

Well, that was effortless. Look at that. Congratulations.

Agnieszka Radwanska was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £1,000. Superb.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hemisha and Yatish.

Well, goodness me.

What a performance, right from the word go. Terrific stuff. You also...

Even pronounced her name properly,

which means we didn't have to worry about to give it or not,

but Radwanska, perfect answer.

Now, Petra Kvitova and Vera Zvonareva...

-were both incorrect.

-Oh, really?

-Oh!

-First time you put a foot wrong,

because you put them in the wrong order.

-They were our bankers.

-Imagine the jeopardy if you put those two first.

Zvonareva was beaten by Serena Williams.

Kvitova was beaten by one of the pointless answers we'll give you.

Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers

in the different categories.

So, we'll start with football.

Brighton and Hove Albion were in the last 16 of the League Cup.

Fulham were beaten by Derby County in the last 16 of the League Cup -

just yet another highlight in a wonderful season for us.

There's Preston North End.

FA Cup, lost to Man United in the last 16,

and Shrewsbury Town, they were in the last 16 of the League Cup,

lost to Chelsea, and Derby County,

the only other pointless answer there.

Now, lots of darts players were pointless answers.

Darryl Fitton, Robbie Green.

You could have had Scott Waites - Scotty "Too Hotty" Waites.

Vincent Van Der Voort.

In fact, the only people who scored points on that one are Phil Taylor,

obviously, scored points, got 31. Gary Anderson scored 7.

Raymond van Barneveld would have scored you 7.

Michael van Gerwin - 6.

Martin "Wolfie" Adams would have scored you 5,

and 1 point for Stephen Bunting, Adrian Lewis

and the BDO champion Scott Mitchell.

Very well done if you said anyone other than those.

If you said those, well done,

but everyone else was a pointless answer.

Let's take a look at the tennis players.

Eugenie Bouchard, who lost to Sharapova in the quarterfinals.

Kei Nishikori, one of the men on the list.

Madison Keys, who beat Kvitova,

and Nick Kyrgios, a pointless answer.

Loads of other pointless answers - Andreas Seppi, Bernard Tomic,

Ekaterina Makarova...

You could have had Feliciano Lopez,

Gilles Muller, Yanina Wickmayer...

Lots and lots of pointless answers in there,

but Radwanska, a terrific first answer.

Brilliant performance from start to finish.

I'm so sorry we don't have a £90,000 jackpot to give you,

-but better than a slap in the face, isn't it?

-It's all right.

-£1,000 in your back pocket.

-Ta.

-Very good.

Well, thanks, Richard, and thanks, once again, to our winning players,

Hemisha and Yatish, who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Very well done. APPLAUSE

Well, join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE