Episode 45 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hi. My name's Chris.

This is my girlfriend, Cat, and we're from Glasgow.

-Couple number two.

-My name's Dan.

That's my partner, Holly, and we're from West London.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, Xander. I'm Alan.

This is my good friend Jim and we're from Carshalton in Surrey.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hello.

I'm Mary and this is my granddaughter Esther.

Esther's from Newcastle and I'm from Boston in Lincolnshire.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much and welcome to all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

the show's beating heart.

Its cold, black heart.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

-Afternoon.

-Well, good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

Lovely show last time. We've got two returning pairs.

We've got Holly and Dan, who got knocked out in the head-to-head

by Yatish and Hemisha.

They were very, very smart, weren't they?

I'm not saying you weren't, cos you were,

but they were very, very good

and they aced the jackpot round as well, I can tell you.

They were so good.

And also we've got Jim and Alan who were knocked out in Round One,

but by 1 point, our firefighters there.

1 point saw them knocked out,

so I think they've got something to prove in today's show.

-And podium four...

-I know.

-..grandmother/granddaughter combination.

-I know.

I mean, just...

-It's always lovely, isn't it?

-Always.

-I mean, never wins...

-LAUGHTER

..unfortunately, but we always want it to.

So, perhaps - perhaps - that could happen.

Round One. Round One's a lovely round.

Round One's a particularly nice round

if you're about to have a child.

If you are about to have a child,

Round One could be an incredibly useful round.

-Mm.

-Instructive?

It's all about breathing? HE EXHALES

No, it's not about instructions during labour. It's more post-birth.

OK. LAUGHTER

OK. Well, as we've all gathered,

Hemisha and Yatish won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off, excitingly, back at £1,000.

There it is. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Well, welcome to our newcomers. All you have to remember is this -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. And there is to be no conferring

until we get to the head-to-head round.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so, our question concerns...

I see where we're going. Children of Celebrities, Richard.

You know when you have a child...

-You've had four now.

-Yeah.

..and names is one of the most difficult things.

So, we're about to show you pictures of 15 celebrities.

We're looking for the first name or most commonly used name

of any of their children

and there are some fantastic names on the list.

So, you know, if you're struggling,

I'm just saying, there's going to be plenty of inspiration

-in the round you're about to see.

-Fabulous. Thank you very much indeed.

So, we're going to put an image up

and that will stay up for the whole round.

Let's have a look at that photograph.

Ah. A selection of photographs. Look at that.

Um, Cat, very, very warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here from Glasgow. What do you do up in Glasgow, Cat?

Currently unemployed, but I am looking for work just now.

-In my part-time, I do make candles, though, so...

-You make candles?

-I keep busy, yeah.

-Now, that's fun. Do you buy the wax in big blocks

or do you just use little candles that are left?

Oh, no. We buy the wax in big blocks.

It's currently taking up most of our room just now, so...

-Do you sculpt them?

-Yeah. I make ornaments as well with it.

So, have, like, kind of bunny-shaped candles sometimes.

Very good. Now, Cat, look at that rogues' gallery there.

Who would you like to go for from amongst their spawn?

Going to have to go for an obvious one, though.

Um, been pretty recent.

I think that's Kim Kardashian there

and I'm going to go with her daughter's called North.

North. North, says Cat. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said North.

It's right.

Not bad at all. Look at that.

12, Cat. Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

Off to a rollicking start there.

-12.

-A very good start.

-Of course, called North West cos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

-Yeah.

But something to think about at home. North.

-Maybe North for a boy or for a girl.

-Mm. Mm.

Strong. Holly, welcome back.

-Remind us what you do, Holly.

-I work for a children's charity

called Starlight Children's Foundation.

-You are a wish granter.

-I am, yeah.

We grant wishes for seriously and terminally ill children.

What is the most exciting wish you have granted?

Or, rather, what was the most excited reception you had for a wish

-when you went in and said?

-Ooh. We do a lot of holidays.

-A lot of Disneyland.

-Lovely.

I did a train driver wish that was really sweet.

He just wanted to drive a train, so we got him on a steam train

and he drove that, so that was a really nice one.

Lovely. Lovely.

Now, Holly, how are you finding our photo gallery there?

Yeah, there are a few.

I'm going to go for David Beckham and his daughter, Harper.

Harper. Harper Seven.

OK, let's see. LAUGHTER

Let's see if Harper's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Harper.

Another good answer. Look at that. 22. Well done, Holly.

APPLAUSE

As you say, Harper Seven.

Named after the time she was conceived.

LAUGHTER Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Jim, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Very unfortunate, last time, to be leaving us in Round One.

-It was.

Oh, you should have...

We had some great rounds after that.

You missed yourself. LAUGHTER

Remind us what you do, Jim.

-I'm a fireman in London Fire Brigade.

-Excellent.

-And how long have you done that?

-15 years.

I imagine that takes up quite a lot of your time.

-Certainly a lot of your energy, I should think.

-Pretty much so, yeah.

Have you yet been involved in a calendar, Jim?

-Have you been talking to anyone?

-LAUGHTER

I was in a calendar, but rest assured,

it wasn't an oiled-up, shirt-off type of calendar.

Were you holding a kitten maybe? LAUGHTER

-I was actually running with a hose.

-LAUGHTER

All right. Don't want to know that much.

-We'll leave it there.

-OK. LAUGHTER

-What are you going to go for, Jim?

-Um, a slightly older one,

-but I think I'm going to go for Margaret Thatcher's son, Mark.

-Mark.

You're going to go for Mark.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mark.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 28. 28 for Mark.

-It's quite a fun round, isn't it?

-It's good.

It is a good round. Yeah, Mark. Named after the German currency.

LAUGHTER Thanks very much.

Now, then, Mary, very warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here from Boston.

-Yeah.

-And what keeps you busy in Boston, Mary?

Well, I've been retired a good few years now,

but I used to be an infant teacher and...

But I trained in my 50s to be a Methodist local preacher,

so that takes up a bit of time.

Gardening. Reading. A bit of bird watching, you know.

Bird watching.

Do you ever travel around to go bird watching

or do you just keep some binoculars on your windowsill?

A bit of both, really. Yes, yes.

I'm just worried sometimes visitors might think we're a bit nosy

cos we've got binoculars on the windowsill.

Yeah, and a telescope set up and all that.

Now, Mary, what would you like to go for on this board?

I was going to say Mark Thatcher, so I'll go for Carol instead.

OK, you're going to go for Carol. Well, Mark scored 28.

Let's see what Carol can do.

APPLAUSE There you are. That's 41.

That's what I'm A Celebrity... does for you.

Yeah, doesn't it just?

Yeah, she was a twin, of course, of Mark

and she was named after the Uzbekistani currency.

LAUGHTER Thank you very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Cat, 12. Exemplary. Exemplary there. Best score of the round so far.

Then we travel up to 22, Holly and Dan.

28, Jim and Alan.

41, Mary and Esther.

Now, Esther, I hope you've got a really good, low-scoring answer

and if you have, let's hear it next.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Could the second players step up to the podium?

So, Esther, welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Esther?

I'm currently a student studying biology

and I've just finished my second year.

-At Newcastle?

-No, Westminster.

OK. And how are you enjoying Westminster?

It's great, yeah. Really enjoying it.

-So, one more year to go.

-Yeah.

Do you know what you want to do when you finish?

If I do well enough,

I'm interested in doing a master's in genetic counselling.

Wow. What are your interests outside of that?

Well, cos I'm only in London for a few years, probably,

I'm enjoying exploring London

and I like to read and I sketch sometimes and...

Very good indeed. Now, you're the highest scorers on 41,

so, Esther, we must have a low score from you.

-Yeah, I'm not sure about that.

-SHE LAUGHS

I think I'm going to go for Gwyneth Paltrow

and Chris Martin's child Apple.

Surely. I was waiting for someone to go for Apple.

Thank you for going for Apple.

No red line for you, but let's see how many of our 100 said Apple.

It is right.

32.

APPLAUSE 73 is your total.

Another pretty big score there for Apple.

What do you think of Apple as a name for a child?

I'm not keen, I'm going to be perfectly frank.

-No, I'm not...

-Lovely name for a fruit.

A lovely name for a fruit

-and if you've got a Granny Smith, perfect.

-Oh.

-Perfect.

But, yeah, she said it sounded very clean and fresh.

-It definitely sounds that.

-Yeah.

So does Jif, but you wouldn't call a child that.

Yeah, exactly. LAUGHTER

Just, um... Just no. No.

-Alan...

-Hi.

-..welcome back. Also a firefighter.

-Yeah.

Oh, it's just a great job title, that, isn't it? Firefighter.

Tell me how long you've been fighting fires.

-25 years.

-Any calendars, Alan?

I actually did the same calendar as Jim.

-OK. What were you doing?

-I was scrambling through a window.

OK. LAUGHTER

OK. I'm guessing this was all set up.

You didn't have the photographer out on a job, did you?

-No, it was just a charity calendar.

-Fully clothed?

-I was fully clothed, in full kit. Yeah, they...

-OK. OK.

They looked at us and thought, "No, keep their clothes on."

-OK, very good.

-Well, that's you.

-LAUGHTER

Now, Alan, what are you going to go for?

You're on 28. If you can score 44 on this, you're through.

Well, it's an easy option. Touch wood.

I can't think of any others than Brooklyn.

OK, Brooklyn. There's your red line.

You have to get below that with Brooklyn

and if you do, you are into Round Two for sure.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Brooklyn.

It's right.

Ooh, 50.

50 for Brooklyn. APPLAUSE

That's a high score. 78 is your total.

Great news for Esther and Mary on the far podium there.

That is a big scorer. Yeah, Brooklyn.

Liz Hurley and Elton John are said to be his godparents.

-I bet you get good presents if they're your godparents.

-I bet.

-If Elton John is your godparent.

-Oh, yes. Surely.

-That'd be nice.

Oh, no, but what if Elton John forgot?

Cos he's a busy man, Elton John.

And then, the great day comes

and you're waiting for the white charger...

-HE WHINNIES LIKE A HORSE ..to arrive...

-Yeah.

..and the messenger to come off with a satchel and hand over the...

-Whatever it might be.

-Whatever it might be.

-Probably something bejewelled...

-I should think so.

-..I'd have thought.

-Yeah, I'd have thought.

Wow. Can you imagine, Dan? Wow!

-Now, Dan...

-Hi.

-..welcome back. We discovered...

I mean, last time, you said you were a sort of personal trainer.

-A home-visiting personal trainer.

-That's right.

Turns out you're a tycoon.

You run an empire of personal training...

-That's right, yeah.

-..all around the capital.

What proportion of your clients are male

and what proportion are female?

In the last year, it's changed from about 80% female, 20% male

and now it's went 50-50

cos of all the blokes starting to train,

-keeping care of themselves, getting in shape.

-Very good indeed.

Now, Dan, you're on a great score there - 22 -

courtesy of Holly's good answer in the first pass with Harper.

-If you can score 55 or less...

-OK.

-..Round Two is all yours.

Um, it's not my strongest category, although I have a feeling

David Beckham has a son called Romeo.

Romeo, says Dan.

Well, Brooklyn scored 50. Let's see what Romeo scores.

If you can get below that, you're definitely in Round Two.

Well done.

Good old Romeo's done everything you wanted of him.

APPLAUSE 31 takes your total up to 53.

Well played, Dan. Another very good answer.

I think the Beckhams have done all right with their names.

-I think they've got a kind of brand that can take it.

-Yeah.

And the kids all seem to have grown into their names

-and their personalities.

-Yeah. Yeah.

Shall I tell you something really sweet?

A mother at school was on a flight with David Beckham and she...

She's American. She didn't know who he was.

When the trolley came along with food...

She had a baby. That's right. She had a baby.

..David took the baby

-and walked up and down the plane with her little baby.

-Aw.

-Isn't that the sweetest thing?

-That is sweet. Did he give it back?

No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. LAUGHTER

-But that's nice.

-That is nice.

-That is a nice thing.

Anyway, sorry. There we go.

Thank you, Richard. Now, Chris...

-Hi, Xander.

-..welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here from Glasgow.

-What do you do, Chris?

-I work for a telecommunications provider

helping business customers with their bills.

-Oh, with their bills?

-Yes.

Does that mean they're complaining, going, "I'm paying too much"?

-Probably about 90% of the time, yeah.

-Aw.

Are you very good and patient and do you calm them down very quickly?

-Sometimes.

-I bet you do.

Now, Chris, what are your interests outside of telecommunications?

Mainly football. Mainly football. Big Liverpool fan.

Do you travel all around to see football?

Yeah, well, I'm a big Liverpool fan,

so I tend to go down to Liverpool to watch most of my matches.

-How come Liverpool? What was the link there?

-My dad.

Ah, very good.

OK, now, Chris, you're on 12.

Absolutely exemplary answering from Cat in the first pass,

which means 65 or less gets you through.

The board is your oyster, as it were. What are you going to go for?

To be honest, Xander, I'm struggling here. I think I'm...

The only other one I know and, thankfully, it's not been said...

-I'll just complete the Beckham kids and say Cruz.

-Cruz.

I think that's a great answer. Here's your red line.

I'd have thought, well, if Brooklyn scored 50, Romeo 31,

you've got to hope that you're 19 below that, but let's see.

Cruz. How many of our 100 people said that?

Well done. You're through.

There we are. Very well done. APPLAUSE

19, in fact, is your score,

taking your total up to 31.

Yeah, currently plays for the Arsenal Under-10 team, Cruz.

-No pressure there, eh, for Cruz Beckham?

-Wow.

Now, let's take a look through all of these answers

and, again, if you are having a baby,

surely, there'll be something on one of these lists

that'll help you out.

We'll start in the top left-hand corner.

Judy Garland. 25 for Liza. Of course, Liza Minnelli.

You'd have got 7 for Lorna. Lorna Luft.

And a pointless answer, Joey. Very well done if you said Joey.

We've seen Kim Kardashian. Stephen Hawking.

Normal names, as you'd expect from Hawking.

He's gone absolutely solid.

1 point for Lucy and Robert and a pointless answer for Timothy.

Well done if you got any of those.

Then we move to Barack Obama. Two good names, I think -

Sasha and Malia - and they both scored 2 points.

Now, let's take a look at Frank Zappa.

Some more unusual ones here.

-You would have got a pointless answer for Diva, for example.

-OK.

Ahmet. That's a perfectly good name. That's a pointless answer.

-You would have got 2 points for Dweezil.

-Mm-hm.

It's a lovely name. And 5 points for Moon Unit.

-LAUGHTER

-Something to think about there.

Gwyneth Paltrow. We've had Apple.

Moses is the other answer there. 6 points for Moses.

Margaret Thatcher, we've had both of those.

Beyonce and Jay Z's daughter is called Blue Ivy.

Would have scored you 14 points.

Gwen Stefani. Three interesting names, Gwen Stefani.

All pointless. Apollo, Kingston and Zuma.

Tony Blair. There's a pointless answer with Tony Blair.

Nicholas was a pointless answer.

Then Catherine would have scored you 3, Euan 10 and Leo 12.

Jermaine Jackson.

Now, this is where probably you're going to get

most of your names from, if I'm honest.

Jeremy. Perfectly acceptable. That's a pointless answer.

-Jaafar, perfectly acceptable.

-Not bad.

-That's a pointless answer.

-Dawn, pointless answer.

-Yeah.

-That's all right.

-Autumn, pointless answer.

-OK.

-Um, Jourdynn.

-It'll do, yeah.

-Perfectly acceptable answer.

-Jermaine Jr.

-Nothing wrong with that at all.

Why not? That's a pointless answer.

-Jaimy.

-Brilliant.

-Pointless answer.

And the last pointless answer, Jermajesty.

-Jermajesty. There you go.

-Jermajesty.

I thought it was Jerhighness, but it's Jermajesty.

-Of course it is.

-Which is a lovely name. Really is.

Nicolas Cage. Weston, one of his. That's a pointless answer.

And Kal-El is his other child. That's a 3-pointer.

Katie Holmes' daughter is Suri. Actually rather a nice name, Suri.

Would have scored you 13.

And the final one is Martin Sheen. You've got Charlie.

Charlie Sheen, of course. 21 points. Emilio. Emilio Estevez, 11 points.

And then you've got Renee and Ramon.

-Both of those were pointless answers.

-Wonderful.

Thank you very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

with a high score of 78 for the second time...

I'm so sorry, Alan and Jim, it's a first-round exit,

but it's been great having you. Thank you for playing. Alan and Jim.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And there we are. Suddenly down to three pairs.

We are now in the teeth of this game.

At the end of this round, we'll say goodbye to another pair.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

The category, this afternoon, is Words. It's a Words round.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Words with Three Consecutive Vowels, Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you six clues to words that,

in common English, are spelt with three consecutive vowels.

You need to give us the most obscure answer.

12 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Here are our clues to words with three consecutive vowels.

Here's the first board...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Chris.

-Right.

-CHRIS LAUGHS

-Not the best of rounds for me. Um...

I'm going to take the obvious one off the board

and go for the second one -

the characteristic crying sound of a cat and hopefully, that's miaow.

Miaow, says Chris. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said miaow, as it were.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 52. Not bad. Not bad.

52 for miaow.

Yeah, the dictionary spelling is M-I-A-O-W.

I wonder if that's how cats spell it.

-LAUGHTER

-You know what?

Cats will spell it exactly how they want to spell it, won't they?

-Like they care.

-Never play Scrabble with a cat.

-No.

-LAUGHTER

-That's my advice.

-Mm-hm.

-Holly.

-OK, I know a couple.

I'm going to take a bit of a risk again on pronunciation,

but I think the mayonnaise that is flavoured with garlic is aioli.

Aioli. Yeah, OK. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said aioli.

It's right.

Not bad at all. Look at that.

5. 5 for aioli.

APPLAUSE

-Good score. Better dip.

-Well played, Holly.

-A-I-O-L-I.

-Mm.

-That's a lot of vowels. 80% vowel.

Mm. Esther. Esther, that board's all yours.

If you wanted to, you could talk us through as many of them as you can.

I think the communication one might be parlay

and the human history might be archaeology,

but I'm going to play it safe and go for queen

for a female sovereign.

OK, queen, says Esther.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said queen.

It's right.

Wow.

APPLAUSE 38 for queen.

There's a surprise turn up.

-I know. That's a very low score, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I think because you don't think of it as having three vowels,

-do you, in a row?

-Yeah.

-It does. U-E-E.

It's a slightly bigger score than the other one you knew,

which was archaeology.

Archaeology would have scored you 30 points.

Wouldn't have been a bad one to go for.

-Now, the top one - the total body of work of a...

-Oeuvre.

-Oeuvre.

Yeah, absolutely. 7 points for that. O-E-U.

Now, this middle one, it's a word we all know,

but it's a pointless answer

because almost everyone in the world misspells it.

-Liaise.

-Liaise is the answer. L-I-A-I-S-E.

-Very well done if you said that.

-Very nice.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

5, Holly. Hats off to you.

Holly and Dan once again top of the tree.

Then 38, where we find Esther and Mary.

52, Chris and Cat. We need a bit of Cat magic, I think,

on this next pass to make sure you're with us for the head-to-head.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Mary. SHE EXHALES

Mary.

I know two or three,

but it's a question of which will be the lowest.

I'll go for the bottom one - Ouija board.

Ouija board, says Mary. Here is your red line.

If you can get below this with Ouija board,

you're definitely in the head-to-head.

How many people said Ouija board?

It's right.

Ooh, look at that. 26. APPLAUSE

26. 64 is your total.

It's a good answer, Mary.

Yeah, of course, comes from the French for yes

and the German for yes.

So, basically, just lots of spirits just going, "Yeah. Yeah."

-OK, now, then, Dan.

-I know a couple on there,

but it's just figuring out which is the most obscure.

58 or less is all you need.

The rank of an officer in the British Army

immediately below captain - I'll say lieutenant.

You're going to say lieutenant.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

There's your red line. It's very coquettish, this tower.

There you are. You're through. Well done.

APPLAUSE 35.

Takes your total up to 40.

The Americans say lieutenant. We say leftenant.

It's exactly the same word.

I was having a conversation with one of the station staff

at Turnham Green Tube the other day about this very issue -

about why we sometimes say lieutenant.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, now, so, Cat, you know what we need from you.

Do you fancy talking us through this board at all?

I've been struggling on the first one.

I feel like I know it, but I just can't get it in my head.

Um, I used to like a lot of volcanoes,

so I really should know that second one as well and I can't...

Just a kind of brain block.

The only one I think I can go for is the dark shape and outline

of a figure against a brighter background,

-which I think is silhouette.

-Silhouette, says Cat.

Here's your red line.

It could be higher, I'll be honest,

but let's hope silhouette gets you below that.

Good luck. How many people said silhouette?

APPLAUSE 38, Cat. I'm sorry.

That's punishingly high, isn't it?

That takes your total up to a nice, round 90.

See, that's a French one.

It comes from an 18th century French finance minister

-Etienne de Silhouette.

-Was he very shadowy?

Um, he essentially liked making silhouettes

and putting them in his window. That was one of his hobbies.

Let's take a look through the rest of these.

Now, the vegetable dish?

-Ratatouille.

-Ratatouille. That would have scored 26.

Now, the rock type,

as a volcanologist will tell you, is igneous.

-Igneous, yeah.

-Igneous. Of course, there's 1 point for that.

And this next one, again, a very common word,

but it has the same thing with the U-E-E,

which I think is why it scored so low.

-6 points.

-Squeeze.

-Squeeze, yeah.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home -

nothing wrong with either of your answers.

They just scored a little bit higher than everyone else's, but, yeah, 90.

You're not way ahead, but you will be back next time.

We'll look forward to that. Thanks very much. Chris and Cat.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Very well done. Holly and Dan, Mary and Esther,

you're now one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for that jackpot,

which still currently stands at £1,000.

Well, you know the score.

From this point on, you can chat before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both players. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

The Number 100, Richard.

I'll give you a series of clues now to facts about the number 100.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our clues and here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Holly and Dan, you've been our low scorers so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

(Um, what was the monarch, again, from the 19...?)

(The one who was...?)

-(No, no, no. 100 years ago. 1915.

-1915.)

-Um, we do have a few. Well...

-No, we don't.

We're going to have to just take it safe on this one

and go for the square root is ten.

Ten. Square root of 100 - ten, say Holly and Dan.

Now, Mary and Esther, the board's all yours.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

Yeah, C is the Roman numeral, I think.

-Don't know the American... Victoria.

-Yeah.

Queen Victoria, we think.

And then is it AA Milne?

Think so, yes.

AA Milne for the children's author.

You're going to go for AA Milne.

So, we have ten and we have AA Milne.

Holly and Dan said ten is the square root of 100.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

59. APPLAUSE

59 people said ten is the square root of 100.

It's all getting very confusing.

Now, then, Mary and Esther have gone for AA Milne

as the children's author.

Let's see how many of our 100 said that.

Very well done.

Very well done indeed.

23, which means, Mary and Esther... APPLAUSE

..after only one question, you are up one-nil.

The Roman numeral C would also have won you the point

cos it would have scored you 58.

It would have just won you the point.

-The British monarch is not Victoria. It is George V.

-George V.

That would have scored you 13. And the diplomat...

He's not a president, but he's a very famous American.

-They say, "All about the Benjamins."

-Oh, it's Benjamin Franklin.

-Benjamin Franklin. 3 points for that.

-There we are.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

Holly and Dan, you need to win this one,

but Mary and Esther will go first.

Best of luck. It concerns...

2015 Rugby World Cup Stadia, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now

of stadia that have been chosen to host games in the 2015 World Cup.

We need you to identify the most obscure.

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five stadia and here they are.

There we are.

Five stadia with their initials.

Mary and Esther will go first.

(B could be Valley Park.)

(You think so? Go for it?)

Um, not our strongest subject by a long shot. Um...

..I'll go for B, Valley Park.

Valley Park, say Mary and Esther. Valley Park.

Now, then, Holly and Dan, do you want to talk us through all those stadia?

Um, A, I think, is Twickenham.

D is Elland Road.

E is Wembley Stadium.

C, Manchester Stadium.

And I think B is actually Villa Park. B, Villa Park.

B, Villa Park. We have Valley Park and Villa Park.

Only one of you can be right. Mary and Esther said Valley Park.

Let's see if that's right.

APPLAUSE Bad luck, Mary and Esther.

Which means, Holly and Dan, you only have to be right

and you can break back and be back in the game.

It's right. Very well done.

Scores you the point.

38 is what you score. Well done. APPLAUSE

It means you're back in the game. After two questions, it's one-all.

A rogue round of applause for an incorrect answer there.

We don't hear that very often.

Oh, that was...that was brutal from Dan, wasn't it?

Stealing the same answer. I mean, that is quite something.

That's a grandmother there. You understand that, Dan, don't you?

-LAUGHTER

-I'm so sorry, Mary. I'm so sorry.

Um, now let's go through the rest.

A, yeah, it's the biggest purpose-built rugby stadium

in the world - Twickenham.

42 points.

I think you said Manchester Stadium. It is, of course, in Cardiff.

It's the Millennium Stadium.

Would have scored 25.

You were right about Elland Road.

Leeds United play football there as well.

It's the best answer on the board. 21. Well done if you said that.

And Wembley Stadium there, scoring 70.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, it comes down to a third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Our third question this afternoon concerns...

Bouquets, Richard.

We are going to show you the names now of five flowers or leaves

that are commonly found in bouquets,

but we've missed out alternate letters from their name.

Can you fill in those gaps?

OK, let's reveal our bouquet fillers and here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

So, Holly and Dan will go first. Feel free to confer.

(Do you know...? Is it chrysanthemum?)

(Yeah, go for that. Yeah, whatever you say.)

OK, we think we only know one and it's the second one, chrysanthemum.

Chrysanthemum, say Holly and Dan.

Now, then, Mary and Esther,

talk us through those other bouquet fillers.

-(The top one, calla lily.

-Calla lily.)

Um, we think the top one's calla lily

or colla lily. However, um...

Third one, I think, is kangaroo paw.

-I don't know.

-Don't know the bottom two.

What shall we go for?

I think kangaroo paw is going to be...

Yes. It's probably wrong, but...

-We're going to go for kangaroo paw.

-Kangaroo paw, say Mary and Esther.

So, there's chrysanthemum and kangaroo paw.

Holly and Dan said chrysanthemum. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

Of course it's right. Chrysanthemum...

Ooh, that's a high score, though. 75.

APPLAUSE

Now, then, Mary and Esther in with a very real chance here.

Kangaroo paw has to be right, though, first. Let's see if it is.

Yes, it is right. And it wins you the point.

Look at that. There we are.

Very well done indeed. Still going down.

That's a magnificent answer.

2 for kangaroo paw! APPLAUSE

Very well played. Mary and Esther, you have won.

After three questions, you're through to the final two-one.

Best answer on the board there, Mary. Very well played.

Kangaroo paw. It is the calla lily up the top.

10 points for that.

You didn't get this one, but you'll know it.

-Sunflower.

-Mm.

-Sunflower. Of course it is. 49 points.

Tallest ever sunflower - just over 30 feet.

That's even taller than you.

It is more than three feet taller than me.

Wouldn't want that in a bouquet!

-And it is the...?

-Gerbera.

-Gerbera.

Sometimes called the African daisy.

-15 points for that.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

you finally made it into the golden couple status,

but I'm afraid you were reckoning against Mary and Esther.

They just whipped you there, I'm afraid.

We have to say goodbye to you. It's been great having you on both shows.

Thanks so much for playing. Holly and Dan.

APPLAUSE

For Mary and Esther, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done, Mary and Esther.

You've seen off all the competition

-and you have each won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yay!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There we are. You've done so well.

I mean, really strong answers throughout.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-Not sport or football, particularly.

-Yeah, that would be bad.

-Science would be good.

-Science.

-Yeah.

-British geography.

-British geography.

-Disney.

-Disney.

All of these things might come up.

There'll be four things on that board. You can choose one of them.

Let's hope there's something you like the look of.

Today's selection is Classic Literature on Film,

Rappers, Mary... LAUGHTER

..Archers, Paintings.

Only one I would probably stand a chance with

-might be Literature on Film...

-Yeah, go for that.

-..but if you think The Archers is...

-No, no, go for that.

-Yeah?

-Literature on Film?

-Yeah.

-OK, Richard.

OK, we are looking for any cast member of the following films.

So, anyone, according to IMDb, who's credited with appearing in...

So, any actor credited in any of those three films, please.

Sense And Sensibility, A Cock And Bull Story

and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Very best of luck.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to a minute

to come up with three answers. All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of the answers you give to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Do you know any?

-I've not seen any of those films.

-Oh, right.

-ESTHER LAUGHS

-Sense And Sensibility, that...

..that wasn't with Colin Firth?

No, that was on television, wasn't it? Colin Firth?

I...I don't have a clue of any.

I'd probably guess Hugh Grant

because he's in more films like that.

-Um...

-So, Hugh Grant, then?

-Yeah, but that...

If it's right, it'll be high.

-Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

-Have you seen it?

-No. What about Christopher Lee? Was he in that?

-We can go for that.

I've not got a clue. Um...

Yeah.

-I don't know Cock And Bull Story at all.

-No, neither do I.

Um, another actor who was around in the mid-'90s?

Female. Can you think of a female?

-I don't know much...

-Ten seconds left.

Just think of a female actress.

Um, I really need to watch more films. Um...

Ooh, I'm afraid that is your time up. I'm so sorry, Mary and Esther.

That minute is never long enough.

What three answers do you want to give me?

Um, probably Hugh Grant for Sense And Sensibility.

Hugh Grant.

-Um, Christopher Lee, Frankenstein.

-Christopher Lee.

Colin Firth, Sense And Sensibility.

And Colin Firth for Sense And Sensibility.

OK, now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Christopher Lee.

-Christopher Lee goes last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Colin Firth.

-Colin Firth goes first.

OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got...

Three answers there. Who knows? All three of those could be right.

One of those, at least, could be pointless.

If that were to be the case,

what would you do with your prize money, Mary?

Um, well, we're hoping to move home,

so, possibly, it would go towards removal,

new furniture, perhaps something...

To help towards that. Very good. Esther, how about you?

I wouldn't mind a little break to Italy maybe with my boyfriend.

-That might be nice.

-Very good indeed. Well, best of luck.

Three good answers. The first answer was Colin Firth.

In this case, we were looking for cast members

from the film Sense And Sensibility, made in 1995.

Let's see if it's right.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many people said Colin Firth.

Bad luck. One thing he's not in, I'm afraid.

Unfortunately, an incorrect answer, so not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Hugh Grant.

Once again, we were looking for actors from Sense And Sensibility.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless for you to win.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many people said Hugh Grant.

It's right! There's a surprise.

Um, yes, your first answer, Colin Firth, was incorrect,

but Hugh Grant - absolutely right.

Down he goes through the teens and into single...

Ooh, 9.

APPLAUSE 9. Good score.

Sadly, not a pointless answer, though,

which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything is now depending on Christopher Lee

being in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

Let's see if it's right, then let's see if it's pointless.

If it's both, you will leave here with £1,000.

How many people said Christopher Lee?

Oh, no. Bad luck. Bad luck.

APPLAUSE I'm sorry.

Well, that was a game attempt. At the beginning of that minute,

I don't think you thought you were going to get any right at all.

You got one good score for Hugh Grant,

but you didn't manage to find that pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over on to the next show.

It's been great having you on the show

and very strong performances in each round.

Very, very well done.

And you get a Pointless trophy each as well, so, well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, a great performance.

Lovely to see a granddaughter/grandmother

combination doing so well. It's terrific stuff.

Yeah, Christopher Lee, he was in the 1957 film

The Curse Of Frankenstein, but not in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

Hugh Grant played Edward Ferrars in Sense And Sensibility.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

All sorts of famous actors in these.

Sense And Sensibility - Hugh Laurie would have won you the money.

Imelda Staunton. Imogen Stubbs. Tom Wilkinson.

Everyone apart from Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant,

Greg Wise, Alan Rickman, Gemma Jones and James Fleet.

Everyone else was a pointless answer there.

A Cock And Bull Story. David Walliams, a pointless answer.

Gillian Anderson. Mark Williams. Naomie Harris.

Everyone in that film apart from Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon,

Stephen Fry, Jeremy Northam and Dylan Moran.

Everyone else was a pointless answer.

And finally...

..Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

There's great actors in all of these who are pointless answers.

Celia Imrie. Cherie Lunghi. Hugh Bonneville. Robert Hardy.

Robert Hardy was also a pointless answer for Sense And Sensibility,

so a two-time pointless answer. Everybody apart from Robert De Niro,

Kenneth Branagh, Helena Bonham Carter, Aidan Quinn,

Richard Briers, Ian Holm, John Cleese and Tom Holt.

Everybody else was a pointless answer,

so well done if you said any of those.

Thanks very much, Richard. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye

to you, but we've loved having you on the show.

Thank you for playing. Mary and Esther.

APPLAUSE

Well, Mary and Esther sadly didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE