Episode 11 Pointless


Episode 11

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

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and welcome to Pointless, the show where we're always striving

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to find the most obscure answers.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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And couple number one.

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Hello, I'm Charmain, this is my sister Jane,

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and we're from London.

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Couple number two.

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Hello, I'm Kate, this my youngest son Mark,

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and we're from Essex.

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Couple number three.

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Hello, I'm David, this is my friend Anne,

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and we're from Foxton in Cambridgeshire.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Joel, this is my lovely wife Sian,

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and we're from London.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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A very warm welcome to you all. Thank you very much.

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We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

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That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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Headlining our factual festival...

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Viewers are bound to take to Twitter to complain it's not Beyonce,

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but he is my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

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-Good afternoon to you.

-Mm, good afternoon.

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-That jackpot is bubbling away very nicely now, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

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-Mm.

-Very nicely.

-Smelling nice, isn't it?

-It is.

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We've got two returning pairs from last time.

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Kate and Mark, who got through to the head-to-head,

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so they'll be difficult to beat, I suspect.

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-They were good.

-Very good.

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On podium four, we've got Joel and Sian

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who were knocked out in Round One, but quite a tough round.

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-I suspect we might see more of them this time.

-Oh, I hope so.

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And very, very glad.

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We very rarely have rhyming contestants on the show.

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We like it when we do.

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We recently had Jill and Bill, which was a pleasure,

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and now we've got Charmain and Jane, which is lovely.

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-Always a pleasure to have rhyming contestants.

-Always a pleasure.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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Well, Sally and Sally-Anne didn't win the jackpot last time,

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so we add another £1,000 to that.

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Wait till you see this. Today's jackpot starts off...

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I can barely pronounce it.

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£7,000.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE There we are. It's a staggering sum.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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All you have to remember is this, the cardinal rule of Pointless -

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the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

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will be eliminated. That's it.

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You just have to make sure you're not that pair.

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Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this afternoon is...

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-Flags. It's that thing you forgot to revise, isn't it?

-Yes.

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Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and our question concerns...

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Flags that are the same upside down. Richard.

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Imagine if I didn't give any more information.

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We just left you to it. That'd be fun.

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We're going to show you 15 flags now.

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They all happen to be the same upside down

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if you would take them through 180 degrees.

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We need you to tell us the name of any country

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represented by one of these flags, please.

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There we are.

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We are going to put up an image which shows

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all these vertically symmetrical flags.

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Here is the image.

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OK. 15 flags there.

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Jane, welcome to Pointless, I say, having put that up.

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What do you do, Jane?

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I'm a T-shirt designer. A children's T-shirt designer.

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How long have you been doing that?

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-Only a few months, because before that, I was a TEFL teacher.

-Right.

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-I taught English to little children.

-Very good.

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-And you decided... Had you been making T-shirts for fun?

-No.

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-You just thought, "I'm just going to go into T-shirts."

-Basically, yes.

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I just wanted to do something different,

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and be a bit more creative and...

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-And you design them yourself?

-Yes.

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-Make them yourself?

-Yes, at the moment.

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-And then sell them yourself?

-Exactly.

-Online?

-Yes.

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-I'm starting out online, so...

-Very good.

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-Well, it's a new company.

-Yeah.

-It's very exciting.

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-It's not a company yet.

-Yeah.

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-Well, OK, new business.

-Yes.

-There we are.

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-Jane, flags. How are we feeling about flags generally?

-Erm...

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I'm trying to decide whether to go safe

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or just have a punt at one of them.

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I'll go kind of safe-ish, yeah.

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-A safe punt.

-Yeah.

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And I will go for Trinidad and Tobago.

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-Trinidad and Tobago, says Jane.

-Yeah.

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Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Trinidad and Tobago if it is.

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It is right.

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Look at that. Down it goes.

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Very well done, Jane.

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14. Great way to kick off the show. APPLAUSE

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Great way to kick off the round. 14 for Trinidad and Tobago.

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That's a great start. Very well played.

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Yeah, tough on that first podium. They adopted that flag in 1962.

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-Yes, from a flag home.

-From a flag home.

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-They went into a flag home, and there were lots of flags that...

-Aw!

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And that one was just sitting in a corner of its little room...

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-Aw, it can be heartbreaking sometimes.

-..just whimpering.

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-See some of them at half-mast.

-Yeah.

-Just... Aw.

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And Trinidad turned to Tobago and said,

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-"I think that one. Do you?"

-"I think that one."

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-Yeah. And they took it home.

-Thank you very much indeed.

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-Now, Mark.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

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-Now, remind us what you do, Mark.

-I'm a pub manager.

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-See, that's a fun job.

-Yeah, it's all right.

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Well, everyone says that's a fun job. Maybe it's not.

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-It's very long hours.

-Very long hours.

-Yeah.

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How many people do you have working behind your bar?

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Varies, to be honest.

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Sometimes, just me. Sometimes, up to eight or nine.

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When not pubbing, what do you like to get up to?

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I like to play football, I...I go skiing,

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rock climbing in the summer,

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listen to Lionel Richie, all sorts.

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-That's...that was out of the blue.

-Very eclectic mix.

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-Have you been a big Lionel Ritchie fan all your life?

-Yeah.

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I actually changed my name - my middle name - for a joke.

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Went from being Mark Stephen Roberts to Mark Stephen Lionel Roberts,

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-and it stuck.

-Well, it's not so bad.

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At least you didn't get rid of Stephen.

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That would've been upsetting if you got rid of Stephen.

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-Very true.

-Now, Mark, what are you going to go for?

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Erm...

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There's a lot of safe ones that I could go for.

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I'm going to take a sort of... Not a guess.

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I'm quite confident. I'm going to go with Malaysia.

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Malaysia, says Mark. Malaysia. Let's see if it's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Malaysia.

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-Ooh.

-Oh, no.

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Bad luck, Mark. I'm afraid no Malaysia up there.

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-It scores you 100 points. I'm sorry.

-Yeah, sorry, Mark.

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-No Malaysian flag on that board, I'm afraid.

-Not up there.

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-David, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

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-What do you do, David?

-I'm retired now.

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I used to work for the University of Cambridge

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as an examination administrator.

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These are exams within the university or...?

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No, they were a national English as a second language exam.

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Right, I see, I see.

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And what are you doing with your retirement now, David?

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I do some voluntary work at Duxford War Museum.

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Oh, wonderful.

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I do some voluntary driving for people from the village

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to doctors and stuff like that.

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Play bowls quite a bit, and bridge, and a bit of quizzing.

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Very good indeed.

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-Nice to have you here for a bit of quizzing.

-Thank you.

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I mean, to a quizzer, this is just...

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This is just... THEY LAUGH

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-That was a dangerous thing to say, wasn't it?

-..meat and drink.

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What are you going to go for, David?

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Going to play relatively safe, then, and say Israel.

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Israel, says David.

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OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said Israel.

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55.

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-APPLAUSE

-That's OK.

-55 for Israel,

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but it's a safe answer there.

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Well played. Everyone can relax. As soon as someone's got 100,

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it's slightly more relaxing, isn't it?

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-You can go for those mid-answers.

-There we go.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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-Now, Joel, welcome back.

-Hello.

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Joel, we said goodbye to you far too early last time round.

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Round One exit for you.

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-Remind us what you do, Joel.

-I run my own business.

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It's a recruitment consultancy.

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A recruitment consultancy. That's right.

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What do you get up to when you're not recruiting?

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Looking after my 18-month-old daughter,

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-who's a big fan of yours, by the way...

-Aw, lovely!

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..in your narration of Duggee.

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She absolutely loves that.

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I think it's the first time anyone's mentioned Hey Duggee, actually.

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I didn't want to bring it up. Oh, I love Hey Duggee.

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-And doing a lot of travelling as well.

-Excellent. Lovely.

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And travelling, of course, bleeds beautifully into this.

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-Or does it?

-It does, but...I...

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I could risk a lot, and there are two in particular,

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one that's safer than the other,

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and I'm just debating which one to go for.

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But I'm going to go with the safer option,

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which is Latvia.

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Latvia, says Joel.

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Sounds like he knows his stuff, Joel.

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Well, let's see. Latvia, is it right?

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How many of our 100 people said Latvia?

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It is right.

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Oh, it's a good answer, Joel.

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Look at that. Down it goes to 8.

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APPLAUSE

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Best score of the round so far. 8 for Latvia.

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Great answer, Joel. Very well played.

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-It's said to originate from the 13th century.

-Interesting.

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We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

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8, the best score of the pass. Well done, Joel.

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Joel and Sian looking very strong,

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as indeed are Jane and Charmain,

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rhyming beautifully on that first podium.

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Then up to 55, where we find David and Annie,

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and then up to 100, Mark and Kate.

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I'm so sorry. Our low scorers last game.

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Here you are on 100.

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Kate, I bet that's not the last 100.

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-I bet there'll be more 100s.

-I wouldn't be surprised.

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As long as the next one isn't from you - that's the thing -

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we might see you in the next round. Fingers crossed.

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We're going to come back down the line.

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Can the second players step up to the podium?

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Sian, welcome back, welcome back. Remind us what you do, Sian.

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I also run my own recruitment business,

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-but in creative and advertising, so, different.

-I see.

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You don't run them from home, your recruitment businesses, do you?

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Most of the time, yeah. One upstairs and one downstairs.

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And how good are you at keeping office hours at home?

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-Hm.

-Well, Pointless is on at quarter past five,

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-so that's when we finish, so...

-Yeah.

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LAUGHTER Nicely said.

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Genuinely, working from home, it can be extremely...

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Particularly with an 18-month-old, that is...

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-She's at nursery three days a week, so...

-Good stuff.

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Now, Sian, flags.

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How do you feel about flags generally?

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Right. Well, there's a couple that I know.

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One's more obvious than the other one I was going to pick,

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so I'm going to go with the obvious one for me,

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which is Japan.

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Japan, says Sian.

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Our high-scorers are Kate and Mark on 100.

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You're on 8, so 91 or less gets you through.

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Nice, safe target for you. There is your red line.

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Get below that with Japan, you're into Round Two.

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It's right, and you are through.

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-Ooh, look at that. 82.

-Just.

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APPLAUSE Not much room to spare there,

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but it's good enough. Takes your total up to 90.

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Safely through, it turns out, but it's a big score for Japan.

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-Isn't it?

-It's very recognisable.

-They'll be very pleased with that.

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It represents the sun, of course, because Japan, as you well know,

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was founded by the sun goddess in the seventh century BC.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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-Now, Annie.

-Hello.

-Welcome to Pointless.

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-Lovely to have you here...

-Thank you.

-..from Foxton.

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-Yes, indeed.

-Foxton in Cambridgeshire.

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-Very nice village.

-Very nice.

-Beautiful.

-Very pretty.

-Yes.

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-What do you do, Annie?

-I'm retired now,

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but I was a business manager before for the local education council.

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-Very good. And when did you retire from there?

-About five years ago.

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And I'm busier now than I was when I was working.

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-That's what everyone always says.

-Yes.

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-But busier doing fun things?

-Pilates, keeping fit...

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I've just realised I've been calling you Annie.

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-I'm so sorry. Terribly familiar.

-My friends call me Annie.

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-May we be your friends?

-You can be my friend any time, Xander.

-Lovely.

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-That's a great... Thank you.

-And Richard. Sorry.

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I think we might... Shall we start calling David Dave?

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-No.

-No?

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LAUGHTER

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No, I think Davey, Davey won't like that.

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-LAUGHTER

-He might not.

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Anne, what would you like to go for?

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The high-scorers are still Kate and Mark on 100.

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44 is your target.

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Right. There's two or three I kind of know, but I'm not sure.

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But I'm going to go with the one I think is right...

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-Jamaica.

-Jamaica, says Anne. Jamaica.

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Here is your red line.

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If you can get below that with Jamaica, you're into the next round.

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How many people said Jamaica?

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It's right.

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I think that's pretty good.

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APPLAUSE You needed 44, you got 43.

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-SHE CHUCKLES

-Well done.

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Accuracy is what it's all about. 98 is your total.

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-Richard, Jamaica?

-No, she answered of her own accord.

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LAUGHTER

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Thanks very much.

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-Kate, you are currently the high-scorers.

-Mm.

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I'm so sorry.

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-I'm so sorry about Malaysia not being up there and all.

-So am I.

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Welcome back, though. Lovely to have you here.

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Remind us what you do, Kate.

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I work part-time for a local newspaper

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and part-time freelance writing.

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-The Romford...?

-Recorder.

-Recorder. Fabulous.

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-You work in the advertising department?

-Yes.

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Well, that's what keeps the whole thing afloat.

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That's right. It's probably the most important thing.

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-Absolutely.

-Pays the wages.

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But, actually, a number of local papers are in trouble, I think.

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-They are.

-Is the Romford Recorder OK?

-Yes.

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-Everything ticking over nicely?

-Yeah.

-Thank goodness.

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-Still very well read.

-Yes, good.

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As, indeed, are all your customers.

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Now, Kate, you are our high-scorers.

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There's a world in which Charmain could get an incorrect answer.

0:13:340:13:38

And I'm looking at her now -

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it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

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But we just have to provision against

0:13:410:13:42

that eventuality just in case.

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So, if you could score 13 or less,

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you would then be in a position to take advantage of that fact.

0:13:470:13:50

-Well, this is probably the worst round I could imagine.

-Oh, no.

0:13:500:13:53

I'm going to go for an old Pointless favourite

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and hope Central African Republic's up there.

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-LAUGHTER

-At least I've said it.

0:13:580:14:00

That's a nice way of doing it. Central African Republic, says Kate.

0:14:000:14:03

No red line for you obviously. You're the high-scorers.

0:14:030:14:05

Let's see how many people said Central African Republic.

0:14:050:14:07

Is it right?

0:14:070:14:08

-Aw.

-Aw.

-Kate, I'm sorry.

0:14:120:14:13

-If in doubt.

-I am sorry.

0:14:130:14:15

Listen, out in a blaze of glory is what that's called.

0:14:150:14:18

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

0:14:180:14:21

Yeah, sorry, Kate. The Central African Republic flag

0:14:210:14:23

is just a big picture of Xander with his thumbs up.

0:14:230:14:25

Oh, fair enough.

0:14:250:14:26

-There we are. Now, Charmain, welcome.

-Hello.

0:14:280:14:32

Great to have you here. From London. What do you do, Charmain?

0:14:320:14:34

I'm a music administrator for Wandsworth Music Service.

0:14:340:14:38

They administer music services throughout the borough.

0:14:380:14:42

That's fun, isn't it?

0:14:420:14:43

-That sounds like a nice thing to do.

-It's a lovely job.

0:14:430:14:46

And administering music,

0:14:460:14:47

-does that mean you do some sort of teaching?

-I don't do teaching,

0:14:470:14:50

but I help organise the teachers

0:14:500:14:52

who do go out into the schools and teach.

0:14:520:14:54

-You provide the resources, I suppose.

-That's right.

0:14:540:14:56

So, you've got lots of instruments, lots of chime bars,

0:14:560:14:59

maybe some recorders. I don't know.

0:14:590:15:01

Lots of recorders, some saxophones, violins, cellos.

0:15:010:15:04

-Are you a musician yourself?

-I am a singer,

0:15:040:15:07

and I dabble in instruments every now and then.

0:15:070:15:11

Which sort of instruments do you dabble in?

0:15:110:15:14

I did play cello when I was much, much younger.

0:15:140:15:17

-I've played a bit of piano, a bit of guitar.

-Very good.

0:15:170:15:21

Now, listen, you're on 14.

0:15:210:15:22

The nice thing is it doesn't matter what you score,

0:15:220:15:25

you're still into the next round.

0:15:250:15:26

But why not have a punt at another of those flags?

0:15:260:15:29

All the ones I knew have gone.

0:15:300:15:32

I did think Switzerland was down there in the corner,

0:15:320:15:35

but I'm just not sure about that one either.

0:15:350:15:37

Possibly Poland up in the corner as well.

0:15:370:15:40

-But I think I'll go for Switzerland.

-Switzerland, says Charmain.

0:15:400:15:43

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Switzerland.

0:15:430:15:45

No red line. You're already through.

0:15:450:15:47

It's right.

0:15:490:15:51

That was Switzerland in the corner.

0:15:510:15:53

59 is what it scores you, taking your total up to 73.

0:15:530:15:56

-APPLAUSE

-Well played, Charmain.

0:15:560:15:59

Safely through there.

0:15:590:16:00

Let's fill in the rest of this board, shall we?

0:16:000:16:02

It's the Union Jack there. What do you think that scored?

0:16:020:16:04

-United Kingdom is the answer.

-Erm...United Kingdom?

0:16:040:16:08

I suppose some people might have gone for Great Britain

0:16:080:16:10

instead of the UK, so maybe not as high as you'd hope.

0:16:100:16:13

-91.

-Yeah, you're way ahead of me. 84. 84.

0:16:130:16:16

But, no, United Kingdom, the answer there.

0:16:160:16:18

Then we've got Trinidad and Tobago next to that.

0:16:180:16:20

We've got Micronesia. An old Pointless favourite.

0:16:200:16:23

Would've scored you 4 points. Terrific answer.

0:16:230:16:25

Then, it's not Poland. It's very similar to Poland.

0:16:250:16:27

It's Austria in the top right. That would've scored you 12.

0:16:270:16:31

Second row, we've got Nigeria. Would've scored you 18.

0:16:310:16:34

Right in the middle there, we've got Georgia.

0:16:340:16:36

That would've scored you 12.

0:16:360:16:38

Then Thailand. Would've scored you 4.

0:16:380:16:41

Next to that, you've got Macedonia, which would've scored you 7.

0:16:410:16:44

-That's a cool flag, isn't it?

-That is how to do a flag.

0:16:440:16:47

Bottom row there, next to Latvia, we've got Botswana,

0:16:470:16:49

which would've scored you 4.

0:16:490:16:50

The best answer on the board that we haven't had,

0:16:500:16:53

on the bottom row there is Laos.

0:16:530:16:54

Lao, some people call it, but I've always been told it's Laos.

0:16:540:16:57

-1 point for that.

-1 point.

0:16:570:16:59

Un point for Laos.

0:16:590:17:01

OK, well, thank you very much. We're at the end of our first round,

0:17:010:17:04

-and very sadly...

-Mark just told me he knew Macedonia.

0:17:040:17:07

-SHE LAUGHS

-Yeah.

0:17:070:17:09

-Oh, Mark.

-I thought that's what I said,

0:17:090:17:12

-but obviously...

-Do you know what? You did say it,

0:17:120:17:14

but it just came out sounding very like Malaysia.

0:17:140:17:16

LAUGHTER

0:17:160:17:19

Fair enough. Kate and Mark, lovely having you on the show.

0:17:190:17:21

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you now

0:17:210:17:23

after your brilliant performance last time. We were expecting more.

0:17:230:17:26

-Thank you for playing. Kate and Mark.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

0:17:260:17:29

APPLAUSE

0:17:290:17:31

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:17:310:17:34

APPLAUSE

0:17:340:17:39

Well done, everyone. We've seen off one of our returning pairs.

0:17:390:17:42

Not bad going. And welcome to Round Two.

0:17:420:17:45

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:17:450:17:46

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

0:17:460:17:49

TV Comedy. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

0:17:510:17:53

who's going to go second?

0:17:530:17:55

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:17:550:17:57

OK, and the question concerns...

0:18:000:18:02

Women In British Sitcoms. Richard.

0:18:050:18:07

Xander's going to show you the names of six British sitcoms.

0:18:070:18:10

We need the name of any female actor

0:18:100:18:11

who's appeared in two or more episodes

0:18:110:18:14

of any of these, please, up till May 2015.

0:18:140:18:16

So, any female actor who's appeared in two or more episodes

0:18:160:18:19

of any of the following sitcoms.

0:18:190:18:20

OK, we're going to put a list of sitcoms up

0:18:200:18:23

on the board as Richard just mentioned.

0:18:230:18:24

They will stay on the board, much like the flags did last time.

0:18:240:18:27

Here are the sitcoms.

0:18:270:18:29

I'll read those one last time.

0:18:350:18:37

We are wanting the name of any woman

0:18:400:18:42

who has appeared in two

0:18:420:18:43

or more episodes

0:18:430:18:44

of any of these six sitcoms.

0:18:440:18:46

Charmain.

0:18:460:18:48

Oh, this is not a good one for me cos I don't watch any of them.

0:18:480:18:53

But I'm going to go for one that's pretty obvious

0:18:530:18:56

and that would be Dawn French.

0:18:560:18:58

Dawn French, says Charmain. Dawn French.

0:18:580:19:01

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:19:010:19:03

51. APPLAUSE

0:19:100:19:13

51 for Dawn French.

0:19:140:19:15

Yeah, plays Geraldine Granger, of course, in Vicar Of Dibley.

0:19:150:19:18

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Anne. Annie.

-Yes.

0:19:180:19:21

Annie, what would you like to go for?

0:19:220:19:25

As it was one of my favourite shows

0:19:250:19:27

when it was on...

0:19:270:19:28

It repeats now,

0:19:280:19:29

but it was on quite a while ago,

0:19:290:19:30

..I'm going to go for Gavin & Stacey and I'm going to say Sheridan Smith.

0:19:300:19:34

Sheridan Smith, says Anne.

0:19:340:19:35

Let's see how many of our 100 people remembered

0:19:350:19:37

Sheridan Smith from Gavin & Stacey.

0:19:370:19:39

It's right.

0:19:420:19:43

Well, 51's our high score at this point.

0:19:430:19:45

You whizz past that.

0:19:450:19:47

That's a good score.

0:19:470:19:49

3, Anne.

0:19:490:19:50

APPLAUSE Very well done indeed. 3 for

0:19:500:19:53

Sheridan Smith.

0:19:530:19:54

That's a great answer, Anne/Annie. Very well played.

0:19:560:19:58

Yes, she played Smithy's sister, of course, Rudi.

0:19:580:20:01

Excellent. Now, Sian.

0:20:010:20:03

Um, I know quite a few of them, but my mind's gone blank,

0:20:040:20:08

which is really annoying.

0:20:080:20:10

So, I think I'm going to go for

0:20:100:20:12

Fawlty Towers and Prunella Scales.

0:20:120:20:15

Prunella Scales, says Sian.

0:20:150:20:16

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Prunella Scales.

0:20:160:20:19

51's the highest score, which you pass.

0:20:230:20:26

3 is our low.

0:20:260:20:27

You don't quite get to 3,

0:20:270:20:29

but that's pretty good. 17. APPLAUSE

0:20:290:20:31

Not bad.

0:20:310:20:32

Not bad at all. Richard.

0:20:320:20:34

Yeah, plays, of course, Cybil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers. 12 episodes.

0:20:340:20:37

-Just the 12.

-Just the 12.

-There we are. Thanks.

0:20:370:20:39

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

0:20:390:20:42

3, Annie, well done.

0:20:420:20:43

Annie and David looking very strong there on 3.

0:20:430:20:46

Then up to 17, where we find Sian and Joel.

0:20:460:20:48

Then up to 51, Charmain and Jane.

0:20:480:20:50

Jane, as long as we have a nice, low score from you,

0:20:500:20:53

you are in with a chance.

0:20:530:20:54

Do you watch any more telly than your sister?

0:20:540:20:56

Well, a few of those, but...my mind's gone blank, so...

0:20:560:20:59

Just keep thinking. Let's hope, by the time we get to you,

0:20:590:21:01

you'll have a lovely, low-scoring answer

0:21:010:21:03

that'll keep you in the game. We're coming back down the line.

0:21:030:21:06

Can the second players step up to the podium?

0:21:060:21:08

Joel.

0:21:110:21:12

We're looking for any female actor from any of these sitcoms.

0:21:130:21:17

Well, considering it's one of my favourite shows,

0:21:170:21:20

I'll go for Peep Show

0:21:200:21:22

and say Olivia Coleman.

0:21:220:21:23

Olivia Colman. Lovely Olivia Colman.

0:21:230:21:26

You're on 17. The high-scorers are Jane and Charmain, 51.

0:21:260:21:29

That's your red line. Get below that,

0:21:290:21:30

you're into the next round. Olivia Colman.

0:21:300:21:32

Very well done, Joel.

0:21:390:21:41

Look at that. 3.

0:21:410:21:43

APPLAUSE Very strong play

0:21:430:21:46

on that far podium there, taking your total up to 20.

0:21:460:21:48

Well played, Joel.

0:21:480:21:49

Yeah, 32 episodes Peep Show, she's been in at time of recording.

0:21:490:21:52

-Might they do more?

-They are doing more, yeah.

-Are they really?

-Yeah.

0:21:520:21:56

That's great news. David.

0:21:560:21:58

Yes. Um...

0:21:580:22:00

If you can score 47 or less,

0:22:000:22:01

you're into the head-to-head.

0:22:010:22:03

The only one I'm reasonably happy

0:22:030:22:05

with, I think may be a high-scorer.

0:22:050:22:06

I'll say Connie Booth

0:22:060:22:08

from Fawlty Towers.

0:22:080:22:09

Connie Booth. There's your red line.

0:22:090:22:11

Let's see if that's right. How many people said Connie Booth?

0:22:110:22:14

It's right.

0:22:170:22:19

Very well done. Good enough.

0:22:190:22:22

Actually, very good. Look at that. 11.

0:22:220:22:24

APPLAUSE 11, taking your total up to 14.

0:22:240:22:27

-The lowest total of the round.

-Yeah, another good answer.

0:22:270:22:30

She, of course, wrote the show with John Cleese as well, Connie Booth.

0:22:300:22:33

Exactly.

0:22:330:22:34

Now, Jane, I'm sorry to say, you are the high-scorers,

0:22:340:22:37

even before you've given your answer,

0:22:370:22:40

but what have you got for us?

0:22:400:22:43

I was going to go

0:22:430:22:44

with Wendy Richard,

0:22:440:22:45

but now I'm going with Leslie Ash

0:22:450:22:47

since it doesn't really matter.

0:22:470:22:48

And perhaps she was funny...in one of those. So, Leslie Ash.

0:22:480:22:52

OK, Leslie Ash. HE CHUCKLES

0:22:520:22:54

Let's see. No red line. You're the high-scorers.

0:22:540:22:57

But how many people said Leslie Ash? Is it right?

0:22:570:22:59

No. Bad luck. Bad luck.

0:23:020:23:03

You were the high-scorers anyway, so there we are.

0:23:030:23:06

-151 is your total in the end.

-Yeah, sorry, Jane.

0:23:060:23:08

No Leslie Ash. Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers

0:23:080:23:11

from the different categories.

0:23:110:23:14

Cheryl Campbell is in Peep Show, two episodes of Peep Show.

0:23:140:23:16

Edna Dore is in Gavin & Stacey. She plays Edna.

0:23:160:23:19

Gilly Flower and Renee Roberts are the two elderly ladies,

0:23:190:23:21

the permanent residents of Fawlty Towers.

0:23:210:23:23

They're both pointless answers.

0:23:230:23:25

Julia Davis was in seven episodes of Gavin & Stacey.

0:23:250:23:28

Julie Fernandez was in The Office. Played Brenda.

0:23:280:23:31

Melanie Walters, also Gavin & Stacey.

0:23:310:23:33

She played Gwen. That's a very good answer.

0:23:330:23:35

Pam Ferris was in two episodes of Gavin & Stacey as well.

0:23:350:23:38

Patricia Kane from Vicar Of Dibley.

0:23:380:23:40

And from Dinnerladies, Sue Cleaver.

0:23:400:23:42

Very well done if you said any of those.

0:23:420:23:44

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

0:23:440:23:46

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

0:23:460:23:48

Julie Walters, 28, from Dinnerladies.

0:23:490:23:52

Victoria Wood, also Dinnerladies, 49.

0:23:520:23:54

And we've seen the top answer, Dawn French, 51.

0:23:540:23:56

-Did you have a good answer for any of those?

-Anne Reid.

0:23:560:23:59

-Anne Reid from Dinnerladies, of course.

-Yeah.

0:23:590:24:01

7 points for Anne Reid.

0:24:010:24:02

Maxine Peake, I thought. She was 10 points for Dinnerladies.

0:24:020:24:05

Very good. Thanks very much.

0:24:050:24:07

At the end of our second round, the pair we're sending home

0:24:070:24:09

with a high score of 151 is Jane and Charmain.

0:24:090:24:11

I'm sorry to be sending you home so soon,

0:24:110:24:13

but we'll see you again next time. Look forward to that very much.

0:24:130:24:16

Thanks very much, Jane and Charmain. APPLAUSE

0:24:160:24:19

But for Joel and Sian, and David and Anne,

0:24:210:24:23

it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:24:230:24:25

APPLAUSE

0:24:250:24:30

Congratulations, Joel and Sian, David and Anne.

0:24:300:24:32

You are now one step closer to the final

0:24:320:24:34

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

0:24:340:24:36

which currently stands at...

0:24:360:24:38

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

0:24:390:24:42

Well, someone's going to have to win it sooner or later

0:24:420:24:45

and this is the bit where we decide who's going to play for it.

0:24:450:24:48

You know what happens - you play as teams from here on in.

0:24:480:24:51

First pair to win two questions will be going through to that final.

0:24:510:24:54

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:24:540:24:56

APPLAUSE

0:24:560:25:00

Here's your first question and it's all about...

0:25:020:25:05

THEY CHUCKLE It's all about penguins. Richard.

0:25:060:25:09

Yeah, well, you remember a few weeks ago,

0:25:090:25:10

we did a round all about Twixes, so, today, I thought we would...

0:25:100:25:14

No, we're going to give you five clues now to facts about penguins.

0:25:140:25:17

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

0:25:170:25:19

OK, so, let's reveal our five facts about penguins. And here they are.

0:25:190:25:23

The penguin facts line up like this...

0:25:230:25:25

I'll read those all one last time.

0:25:420:25:44

Now, Joel and Sian, you are our low-scorers,

0:26:000:26:02

so you will go first. Feel free to confer.

0:26:020:26:05

THEY WHISPER

0:26:060:26:08

I'll go for the top one,

0:26:150:26:16

and it's Danny DeVito.

0:26:160:26:18

Danny DeVito played The Penguin in Batman Returns. Danny DeVito.

0:26:180:26:23

Now, David and Anne.

0:26:230:26:25

Do you want to go through it?

0:26:270:26:28

-Uh, no.

-LAUGHTER

0:26:280:26:31

No, I don't think we dare.

0:26:310:26:33

We think we'll settle for

0:26:330:26:35

the fourth one down, which we think

0:26:350:26:37

-is the emperor penguin.

-The emperor penguin.

0:26:370:26:40

So, we have Danny DeVito and we have the emperor penguin.

0:26:400:26:43

Joel and Sian said Danny DeVito

0:26:430:26:45

played The Penguin in Batman Returns.

0:26:450:26:47

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:26:470:26:49

It is right.

0:26:510:26:52

32.

0:26:560:26:57

APPLAUSE

0:26:570:27:00

32 for Danny DeVito.

0:27:000:27:01

Meanwhile, David and Annie have said the emperor penguin is

0:27:010:27:04

the tallest living species. Let's see if that's right.

0:27:040:27:07

Let's see how many people said the emperor.

0:27:070:27:09

-It's wrong.

-It's right.

0:27:100:27:12

Ooh, 68, though.

0:27:130:27:14

It's a high score. APPLAUSE

0:27:140:27:17

Very well done, Joel and Sian.

0:27:170:27:18

After one question, you are up one-nil.

0:27:180:27:21

-Yeah, emperor penguin, they can grow up to 9ft tall.

-No!

0:27:210:27:24

-No, not really.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:240:27:26

I was going to say, that's almost up to you.

0:27:260:27:28

Can you imagine? A 9ft-tall penguin?

0:27:280:27:30

-A 9ft-tall penguin.

-I'd be...

0:27:300:27:31

I tell you what, I'd be calling that emperor, as well. I would be.

0:27:310:27:35

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

0:27:350:27:37

The name of the most northerly species.

0:27:370:27:39

Of course, they're southern, they're from the Antarctic, penguins,

0:27:390:27:42

but there are Galapagos penguins.

0:27:420:27:44

1 point for that. And they're 21 inches high, on average.

0:27:460:27:49

-Aw.

-That's quite sweet, isn't it?

0:27:490:27:50

-That is quite sweet.

-A Galapagos penguin.

0:27:500:27:53

Now, the actor who stars as the title character

0:27:530:27:55

in the film is Jim Carrey.

0:27:550:27:58

It's actually a rather good film, Mr Popper's Penguins. 23 points.

0:27:580:28:02

And if you had to have a guess on the decade.

0:28:020:28:05

'50s.

0:28:050:28:06

-'30s.

-'30s.

-1930s.

0:28:060:28:08

1935, the first ten came out.

0:28:080:28:10

And that would've scored you 9 points.

0:28:100:28:12

So, the best answer there is Galapagos penguin.

0:28:120:28:14

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if we had one coming on now?

0:28:140:28:17

9ft. On it comes, bursting through the screen.

0:28:170:28:20

HE IMITATES EXPLOSION

0:28:200:28:22

Just going, "Is anybody else hot? I'm so hot."

0:28:220:28:25

-"I'm so hot."

-We'd have to keep covering him in make-up.

0:28:250:28:28

LAUGHTER

0:28:280:28:32

Anyway, here comes our second question.

0:28:320:28:34

Now, David and Anne, you get to answer it first,

0:28:340:28:36

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

0:28:360:28:38

It concerns...

0:28:380:28:40

Oh, no.

0:28:420:28:43

UK Number One Singles. Richard.

0:28:430:28:46

Yeah, this is the sort of round that you like

0:28:460:28:48

cos we're going to show five visual clues now

0:28:480:28:50

to the titles of UK number one singles.

0:28:500:28:52

Can you work out which singles we are referring to?

0:28:520:28:55

OK, let's reveal our five visual clues, and here they are.

0:28:550:28:58

We've got...

0:28:580:28:59

OK...there we are.

0:29:240:29:27

Now, David and Annie, you can go first.

0:29:270:29:30

-Would you go for C?

-Well...

0:29:310:29:33

-What do you think?

-..I know...

0:29:330:29:35

We think we know three of them.

0:29:350:29:37

We THINK we know.

0:29:370:29:39

But we're going to go, I think,

0:29:410:29:43

-for C.

-Yeah.

-Running Bear.

0:29:430:29:46

Running Bear. Running Bear.

0:29:470:29:50

OK, David and Anne are saying Running Bear.

0:29:500:29:53

Now, Joel and Sian,

0:29:530:29:54

that board is all yours.

0:29:540:29:56

Do you want to talk us through it?

0:29:560:29:57

You go through it?

0:29:570:29:59

I think A is Ring My Bell.

0:29:590:30:01

Message In A Bottle.

0:30:020:30:04

The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

0:30:040:30:06

And the last one, I can't think.

0:30:060:30:10

Um...

0:30:100:30:12

So, I think I'm going to go with A and Ring My Bell.

0:30:120:30:15

Ring My Bell.

0:30:150:30:16

So, we have Running Bear and we have Ring My Bell.

0:30:160:30:19

David and Anne said Running Bear for C.

0:30:190:30:21

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

0:30:210:30:23

11.

0:30:330:30:34

APPLAUSE

0:30:340:30:36

11 for Running Bear.

0:30:380:30:39

Now, Joel and Sian have gone for Ring My Bell for A.

0:30:390:30:42

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:30:420:30:44

37. APPLAUSE

0:30:520:30:54

Well done, David and Anne. Back in the game.

0:30:540:30:56

-After two questions, it's one-all.

-Very well played.

0:30:560:30:58

We should dedicate this show to the photographer

0:30:580:31:01

who took that photograph

0:31:010:31:02

-of the running bear.

-Yes.

0:31:020:31:04

Can you imagine that?

0:31:040:31:05

I hope he had a very long lens.

0:31:050:31:06

-I hope so.

-That's quite scary.

0:31:060:31:08

When you said Running Bear,

0:31:080:31:09

I was thinking, you were spelling it B-A-R-E.

0:31:090:31:11

-LAUGHTER

-You could do, could do.

0:31:110:31:14

I thought that was a more nudist single, but there we are.

0:31:140:31:16

Very different song, isn't it?

0:31:160:31:18

Now B. Such a cryptic photograph, that(!)

0:31:180:31:20

-Yeah, Message In A Bottle.

-Yeah.

-Of course it is.

0:31:200:31:22

That would've scored you 85 points, perhaps unsurprisingly.

0:31:220:31:26

D is Tight Fit, of course,

0:31:260:31:27

The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Aw.

0:31:270:31:28

That's a long lens as well, isn't it?

0:31:280:31:30

45 points. I don't know cos he's asleep.

0:31:300:31:32

Still, you wouldn't catch me going that close.

0:31:320:31:35

No. I hope not.

0:31:350:31:36

And E, the one you didn't know, is Goodbye.

0:31:360:31:40

Goodbye is the answer.

0:31:400:31:41

That would've scored you 21. Well done if you said that.

0:31:410:31:43

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:31:430:31:45

OK, it all comes down to a third and final question. The decider.

0:31:450:31:48

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

0:31:480:31:50

and plays for that colossal jackpot.

0:31:500:31:52

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

0:31:520:31:54

There we go. Richard.

0:32:000:32:01

-Should we just go back to penguins?

-LAUGHTER

0:32:010:32:04

Going to show you the names of five famous battles

0:32:040:32:06

that took place during the French Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars,

0:32:060:32:09

but we've missed out alternate letters from each one.

0:32:090:32:12

Can you fill in those gaps?

0:32:120:32:13

Whoever gives us the most obscure answer is going through

0:32:130:32:15

-to play for the jackpot.

-Thanks very much.

0:32:150:32:17

OK, let's reveal our battles, and here they come.

0:32:170:32:20

We've got...

0:32:220:32:23

I'll read those all one last time.

0:32:350:32:36

Now then, Joel and Sian, you'll go first this time.

0:32:490:32:52

I'm amazed we actually

0:32:520:32:54

know some of them.

0:32:540:32:55

But we're going to go for

0:32:570:33:00

the bottom one

0:33:000:33:01

and say Leipzig.

0:33:010:33:03

Leipzig, say Joel and Sian. Leipzig.

0:33:030:33:05

Now then, David and Anne,

0:33:050:33:07

do you want to talk us through the rest of that board?

0:33:070:33:10

The top one is Waterloo.

0:33:100:33:12

The second one is The Nile.

0:33:120:33:14

The 1805 is Trafalgar.

0:33:140:33:16

But we'll go for the middle one,

0:33:160:33:17

-which is Marengo.

-Marengo.

0:33:170:33:20

Marengo, say David and Annie.

0:33:200:33:22

Now, Joel and Sian have gone for Leipzig.

0:33:220:33:24

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Leipzig.

0:33:240:33:27

It's right.

0:33:290:33:31

Leipzig scores 39.

0:33:340:33:36

APPLAUSE

0:33:360:33:38

David and Anne have gone for Marengo.

0:33:400:33:42

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Marengo.

0:33:420:33:44

It's right.

0:33:470:33:48

Very well done. Wins you the point.

0:33:510:33:53

And 8, as well, it scores.

0:33:530:33:55

APPLAUSE What it means, more importantly,

0:33:550:33:57

David and Anne, is that after three questions,

0:33:570:33:59

you're through to the final two-one.

0:33:590:34:01

Great head-to-head, and for the second question,

0:34:010:34:03

you got the best possible answer as well.

0:34:030:34:05

Very well played. Can't argue with that.

0:34:050:34:07

Waterloo, up the top, is a big scorer, unsurprisingly.

0:34:070:34:10

That would have scored you 72.

0:34:100:34:12

The Nile, actually quite a low-scorer.

0:34:120:34:14

The Nile would have scored you 11.

0:34:140:34:16

And Trafalgar, that would have scored you 49.

0:34:160:34:21

There we are. Thank you very much.

0:34:210:34:23

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round...

0:34:230:34:25

We've had a bit of a run of this, of our low-scoring, golden pairs

0:34:250:34:28

actually being knocked out in the head-to-head.

0:34:280:34:31

I'm afraid to say, Joel and Sian, that is your fate.

0:34:310:34:33

It's been wonderful having you on both shows.

0:34:330:34:35

Really strong performance across the show today,

0:34:350:34:38

but this, I fear, is the end of the line.

0:34:380:34:39

Thank you so much for playing.

0:34:390:34:41

Joel and Sian. Wonderful contestants.

0:34:410:34:43

APPLAUSE

0:34:430:34:45

But for David and Anne, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:450:34:48

APPLAUSE

0:34:480:34:51

Well, I mean, for heaven's sake, David and Anne,

0:34:530:34:56

you've seen off all the competition

0:34:560:34:58

and you have each won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:34:580:35:01

You also have a chance now to play for that jackpot.

0:35:070:35:09

I mean, it's a colossal jackpot.

0:35:090:35:11

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £7,000.

0:35:110:35:14

APPLAUSE

0:35:140:35:17

It's been a while since we've had a jackpot that big, I have to say.

0:35:190:35:23

Let's take a look and see what's on the board today.

0:35:230:35:26

Let's hope there's something up there you like the look of.

0:35:260:35:28

You know what it's like. They're a bit forbidding to start with,

0:35:280:35:31

but behind them, there's usually something.

0:35:310:35:34

-What do you think?

-What do you like?

-Well...

0:35:400:35:42

-You like medieval history.

-Dave is good at sport.

0:35:420:35:44

-Police could be anything, really.

-Yes.

0:35:440:35:47

Shall we go for Medieval History?

0:35:470:35:49

-Yes, why not?

-Let's go for Medieval History.

0:35:490:35:52

Medieval History it is.

0:35:520:35:53

OK, very best of luck. I hope one of these suits you.

0:35:530:35:56

I know some people at home will love it,

0:35:560:35:58

some people at home will hate it, but let's see how you find it.

0:35:580:36:00

We're looking for any name, any individual whose name appears

0:36:000:36:04

sewn into one of the captions or inscriptions

0:36:040:36:06

on the Bayeux Tapestry, please.

0:36:060:36:08

Their name in English, rather than in the Latin.

0:36:080:36:10

We are looking for any place names in the preamble

0:36:100:36:14

to the 1215 Magna Carta.

0:36:140:36:15

So, any place names mentioned in that preamble.

0:36:150:36:18

Or any Scottish monarch

0:36:180:36:19

1000 AD to 1500 AD, please.

0:36:190:36:21

The English versions of any people

0:36:210:36:23

named in the Bayeux Tapestry,

0:36:230:36:24

place names in the 1215 Magna Carta

0:36:240:36:27

or any Scottish monarchs,

0:36:270:36:29

1000 AD to 1500 AD.

0:36:290:36:30

Very best of luck.

0:36:300:36:31

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up

0:36:310:36:34

with three answers. All you need to win that jackpot is for just one

0:36:340:36:37

-of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready? BOTH:

-Yeah.

0:36:370:36:40

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:36:400:36:42

There they are.

0:36:420:36:43

Your time starts now.

0:36:430:36:44

-Thank you.

-Scottish monarchs.

0:36:440:36:47

-James VI was...

-Malcolm.

-Yes.

0:36:470:36:50

James VI, did you say?

0:36:500:36:52

-Well, James VI was...

-James VI.

-There must be ones before him

0:36:520:36:55

cos he was in...

0:36:550:36:56

-He was later, though, wasn't he?

-He was Tudor, but there must be...

0:36:560:37:00

-James II has got to be...

-Yeah, maybe.

0:37:000:37:02

-But Malcolm, certainly, I think.

-Malcolm, certainly, yes.

0:37:020:37:05

-Place names in the Magna Carta.

-I've got no idea.

0:37:050:37:07

-Runnymede.

-Runnymede.

0:37:070:37:09

Named people in the Bayeux Tapestry.

0:37:090:37:11

I think King Harold is named

0:37:110:37:12

-in there, isn't he?

-Yeah.

0:37:120:37:14

-Not Matilda. No, she's later.

-Yeah.

0:37:140:37:16

Harold, I suppose. I don't know. I don't really know that one,

0:37:160:37:19

-but Scottish monarchs, I think would be a good one to go for.

-Yes.

0:37:190:37:22

-Was Duncan a Scottish king as well?

-Yeah, yeah.

-He was, wasn't he?

0:37:220:37:25

Yeah, go for him, shall we?

0:37:250:37:27

-OK.

-Yeah, Malcolm, Duncan and...

0:37:270:37:30

And, um...

0:37:300:37:31

-King Harold?

-Yeah.

0:37:330:37:35

-Ten seconds left.

-Yeah.

0:37:350:37:37

Whether they're right or not is another matter.

0:37:370:37:39

-Are you happy with your answers?

-Yeah.

0:37:390:37:41

-As happy as we'll ever be.

-OK.

0:37:410:37:44

Well, there we are.

0:37:440:37:45

Your time is now up.

0:37:450:37:46

So, what answers are you going to go for, David and Anne?

0:37:460:37:49

-James I of Scotland.

-James I.

0:37:490:37:51

King Malcolm I of Scotland.

0:37:510:37:54

King Malcolm I of Scotland.

0:37:540:37:55

And the named people, we'll go for King Harold.

0:37:550:37:58

-King Harold in the Bayeux Tapestry.

-Yeah.

-OK.

0:37:580:38:01

Of those three, which is your best shot

0:38:010:38:03

-at a pointless answer, do you think? BOTH:

-Malcolm.

0:38:030:38:05

Malcolm I goes last.

0:38:050:38:07

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Harold.

-Harold.

0:38:070:38:10

King Harold, rex interfectus est.

0:38:100:38:12

Yes, OK, we'll put him first and then James in the middle.

0:38:120:38:15

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order then.

0:38:150:38:18

And here they are. We have got...

0:38:180:38:20

Well, very, very best of luck.

0:38:230:38:25

Three good answers up there on the board.

0:38:250:38:27

Now, if one of these answers turns out to be pointless,

0:38:270:38:30

and you were to win that jackpot of £7,000 -

0:38:300:38:33

a nice, big jackpot - what would you do with your share of it, David?

0:38:330:38:36

We quite enjoy taking our family away for a long weekend

0:38:360:38:41

or a week, so we'd probably do that.

0:38:410:38:43

-Very good. Anne?

-I think I would give some to the grandchildren -

0:38:430:38:46

got seven grandchildren - and probably a nice holiday.

0:38:460:38:49

Lovely. OK, well, very, very best of luck.

0:38:490:38:51

Fingers crossed. Your first answer was Harold.

0:38:510:38:53

In this case, we were looking for named characters

0:38:530:38:56

from the Bayeux Tapestry.

0:38:560:38:57

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless,

0:38:570:38:59

obviously, for you to win that jackpot.

0:38:590:39:01

For £7,000, let's see how many of our 100 people said Harold.

0:39:010:39:05

It is right.

0:39:080:39:10

Now, if Harold takes us all the way down to 0,

0:39:120:39:14

which he could,

0:39:140:39:15

you will leave here with £7,000.

0:39:150:39:18

29 for Harold.

0:39:180:39:19

APPLAUSE

0:39:190:39:22

I guess he's one of the star players, isn't he,

0:39:220:39:24

in the Bayeux Tapestry?

0:39:240:39:25

I'm afraid not a pointless answer there,

0:39:250:39:27

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:39:270:39:30

We now move on to Scottish monarchs.

0:39:300:39:33

James I was your next answer.

0:39:330:39:37

We want to find out if James I is correct,

0:39:370:39:40

then we want to find out if it is pointless.

0:39:400:39:42

If nobody said James I, you will leave here with £7,000.

0:39:420:39:45

Is it right? How many people said it?

0:39:450:39:47

HE WHISPERS

0:39:470:39:50

It's right.

0:39:510:39:52

OK, well, Harold took us all the way down to 29.

0:39:530:39:57

James I takes us down past 29.

0:39:570:39:59

Down it goes, into the teens.

0:39:590:40:01

Are we into single figures?

0:40:010:40:02

Ooh, not quite. 10 for James I.

0:40:020:40:04

APPLAUSE

0:40:040:40:07

You only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

0:40:090:40:12

Everything is now riding on Malcolm I.

0:40:120:40:15

This was the answer you thought was your best shot

0:40:150:40:17

at a pointless answer.

0:40:170:40:19

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

0:40:190:40:21

So, for £7,000, let's see how many of our 100 people said

0:40:210:40:23

Malcolm I. Is it pointless?

0:40:230:40:26

No!

0:40:300:40:32

-APPLAUSE

-Never mind.

-Never mind.

-Ooh.

0:40:320:40:36

I'm afraid that is incorrect, and it scores you 100 points.

0:40:370:40:41

We'll discover why in a moment or two.

0:40:410:40:43

I'm sorry to say, two good answers there.

0:40:430:40:45

I'm afraid you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

0:40:450:40:48

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £7,000,

0:40:480:40:50

which rolls over onto the next show.

0:40:500:40:52

It's been fabulous having you on the programme.

0:40:520:40:54

-You've done so well.

-We've really enjoyed it.

0:40:540:40:56

You've got a Pointless trophy to take home.

0:40:560:40:58

-Absolutely. It's what we came for.

-There we are. Very well done.

0:40:580:41:01

APPLAUSE

0:41:010:41:03

I'm glad you've enjoyed it cos we've enjoyed having you.

0:41:030:41:06

Been absolutely terrific value,

0:41:060:41:08

brilliant throughout and great fun as well.

0:41:080:41:10

Malcolm I was too early for our time.

0:41:100:41:12

Malcolm I was the century before. Four other Malcolms.

0:41:120:41:15

-All of those were pointless answers.

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

0:41:150:41:17

Second, third, fourth and fifth.

0:41:170:41:19

Also, you just have to look around you.

0:41:190:41:21

Alexander I, Alexander II, Alexander III -

0:41:210:41:23

-all pointless answers.

-Oh!

0:41:230:41:25

And David I and David II are pointless answers as well.

0:41:250:41:28

-So, I tell you, no Anne or Richard, though.

-Well, there you go.

0:41:280:41:32

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

0:41:320:41:35

Let's take a look at a few of the named people

0:41:350:41:38

in the Bayeux Tapestry.

0:41:380:41:39

Archbishop Stigand. Bishop Odo, anyone?

0:41:390:41:42

Gyrth who was Harold's younger brother,

0:41:430:41:45

and Robert as well was a pointless answer.

0:41:450:41:47

Also could have had Conan, Leofwine, St Peter the Apostle.

0:41:470:41:49

All those pointless answers.

0:41:490:41:51

Malcolm the second, third and fourth - all pointless answers.

0:41:510:41:54

Let's take a look at the places named in the Magna Carta.

0:41:540:41:58

Glastonbury. Yeah, Rod Stewart was headlining that year.

0:41:580:42:01

-LAUGHTER

-You could've had Dublin, Coventry,

0:42:010:42:03

Bath. Also could have had Anjou, Aquitaine, Galloway, Normandy,

0:42:030:42:07

Pembroke and Warenne. All of those were pointless answers.

0:42:070:42:10

Well done if you said any of those.

0:42:100:42:11

Let's look at some more of these kings of Scotland.

0:42:110:42:13

There's lots of them. Alexander I. As I say, second and third as well.

0:42:130:42:17

Donald Bane was a pointless answer.

0:42:170:42:19

You could've had John Balliol. You could've had Lulach.

0:42:190:42:22

You also mentioned Duncan in your 60 seconds.

0:42:220:42:24

Duncan I and Duncan II were pointless answers.

0:42:240:42:27

Edgar was a pointless answer. Kenneth III,

0:42:270:42:29

Robert II and William I, the Lion - all of those pointless answers.

0:42:290:42:32

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

0:42:320:42:34

And that has to go down as very, very unlucky.

0:42:340:42:36

There we go. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to David and Anne,

0:42:360:42:39

-but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

-Thank you very much.

0:42:390:42:42

Thank you so much for playing. Brilliant contestants.

0:42:420:42:45

APPLAUSE

0:42:450:42:47

I'm sorry to say David and Anne didn't win our jackpot today,

0:42:470:42:50

which means it rolls over onto the next show

0:42:500:42:52

when we will be playing for £8,000.

0:42:520:42:54

APPLAUSE

0:42:540:42:57

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

0:42:570:42:59

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:42:590:43:01

And it's goodbye for me. Goodbye.

0:43:010:43:03

APPLAUSE

0:43:030:43:05

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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