Episode 24 Pointless


Episode 24

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

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the show that makes big winners out of the lowest scorers.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi, I'm Jenny, this is my childhood friend, Sarah,

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and she's from the East Midlands, and I'm from the West Midlands.

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Couple number two.

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Hello, my name's Mark, this is my mum, Shirley,

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and we're both from Sandhurst.

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Couple number three.

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Hi, my name's Nicola, this is my sister-in-law, Marlene,

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and we're from Essex.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hello, I'm John, this is my sister, Alison.

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She lives in Glasgow, and I live in Kingston.

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And these are today's contestants.

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Thanks very much, all of you. Very warm welcome to our newcomers.

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We'll chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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I hope he's sitting comfortably.

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Or as comfortably as possible given that we've each had

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matching butterfly tattoos done on our backsides.

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If my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya.

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Hi, everybody.

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You know, it was weird,

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because when he first tattooed it, it was a caterpillar.

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LAUGHTER

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Anyway...

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One returning pair from the last show.

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Jenny and Sarah, welcome back.

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I think Jenny played it too safe last time.

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I think Sarah did very well, Jenny played too safe, but I think

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they've learned from that experience and should go all the way.

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-We've given away two jackpots in a row now, haven't we?

-Yeah.

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Alex and Christian won it on The Blues Brothers last time,

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if you missed it.

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Round Two today, I think you're going to do very, very well on.

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-Oh, am I?

-I think so.

-Oh, good.

-I think you are.

-About time.

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Everybody else in Britain pretty much is going to do badly.

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-I think you'll do quite well.

-Excellent.

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Thank you very much indeed. Looking forward to that.

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So, yes, Alex and Christian won the jackpot last time,

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so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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All you have to remember is this - the pair with the highest score

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at the end of each round will be eliminated. That is all.

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Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this afternoon is...

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Earth Science. Can you all decide in your pairs

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who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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The natural world. Richard.

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We're going to give you seven definitions on each pass

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to things relating to the natural world.

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We just need you to give us the answer.

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We'll give you the first and last letters of each one as well.

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There's going to be seven on the first board, seven on the second,

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14 in all to have a go in at home. Very best of luck.

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-OK.

-You know, sometimes we like to do a school subject for you.

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-I like a school subject.

-Yeah.

-It's good.

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And Earth Science is sort of... That's kind of like biology.

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Oh, and next can be RE.

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-CHUCKLES Wow.

-That'd be good.

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And then, but Friday, double PE.

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-Whey!

-Whey!

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So no-one has to do any revision at all.

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Ah! There we go.

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OK, so let's reveal our first board of seven clues

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relating to the Earth.

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And here they come.

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I'll read those all one last time.

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Now, Jenny, welcome back.

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-Remind us what you do, Jenny.

-I'm a primary school teacher.

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And what are your hobbies, Jenny?

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I'm a mum to Molly, who's three, and Jacob, who's one,

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so we do lots of fun activities.

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Hello, Molly and Jake.

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-I also enjoy geo-caching.

-Oh, do you?

-Yes.

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I'm not very good at it, but I do enjoy it.

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So how do you have to be good at it?

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You have to get there before anyone else?

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No, you just have to do get there and find

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either a large object or normally a small object

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hidden in obscure places.

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Very good.

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Jenny, what would you like to go for on this board?

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Hopefully, it's not the largest answer this time.

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Answer three, omnivore.

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Omnivore for the third one down. Omnivore.

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Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

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It's right.

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-Ooh, no.

-66.

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-APPLAUSE

-That's really bad.

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Well, it's not too bad.

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-66 for omnivore.

-Yeah, tough on that first podium.

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I think there'll be a lot of big scorers in this round.

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Omnivore, 66.

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Most birds are omnivores.

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They'll eat worms and berries,

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which is a starter at Heston Blumenthal's new restaurant.

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-That's the name of his new restaurant.

-Worms And Berries.

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-Heston's Worms And Berries.

-Oh.

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I'd still go.

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-Mm.

-Mm. Ah. Mm.

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-Now, Mark, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

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Great to have you here from Sandhurst.

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-What do you do, Mark?

-I'm an air hygiene engineer.

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Oh, now, that's fun. How does that work? Fans?

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Yeah. Fans, extract systems,

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like, mainly restaurants when they're closed and that.

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-Just cleaning the grease out of all their ductwork.

-Oh, I see.

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So you're sort of like Bond crawling through air ducts.

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Crawling through all the ductworks, scraping it all out and that

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getting really dirty.

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You meet some Victorian children coming the other way.

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Now, Mark, what are you going to go for on this...?

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-I'm going to go for the fifth one down.

-Yeah.

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A biological community,

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and I believe it's ecosystem.

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Ecosystem, says Mark. Ecosystem.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said ecosystem.

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It's right.

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Very good answer. 17. Well done, Mark.

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APPLAUSE

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Very well played, Mark.

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Yeah, the term didn't exist until 1935. Ecosystem.

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Arthur Tansley coined it.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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-Nicola.

-Hi.

-A very warm welcome to Pointless.

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-Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

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-What do you do?

-I work for myself. I run a marketing company.

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So how did you start? Did you have a friend's business

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that you started doing marketing for?

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No, I just saved up some money, asked friends and family to

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help me out and just started on my own.

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I just wanted to do something different on my own.

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-Yeah, and nice to be working for yourself.

-Yes.

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-I can come on shows like this.

-Well, exactly.

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-You didn't have to lie to anyone to come here.

-No.

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Not like everyone else. LAUGHTER

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They all pulled a sickie.

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Now, Nicola, what do you do when you're not working for yourself?

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I like to cycle, do long-distance cycling.

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I do it a lot with Marlene.

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-We do night rides for charity and things like that.

-That's fun.

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Night rides? So how far do you do in your night rides?

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Well, the longest one I've done so far is London to Brighton

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for cancer research.

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-We had to go up the Devil's Dyke.

-Wow.

-Was not nice.

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-Didn't appreciate that.

-No, you wouldn't have done.

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Now, Nicola, what are you going to go for on this board?

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-We've got quite a high-ish score and quite a low-ish score.

-Yeah.

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I'm hoping I'm right with a grassy plain, the second answer,

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with savanna.

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Savanna, says Nicola. Savanna. Let's see if that's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Nicola.

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It is right.

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Well, 66 is the highest score

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and you've passed that.

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50 is where you end up.

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APPLAUSE

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Well played, Nicola.

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Yeah, the Serengeti National Park is a famous savanna.

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-Also a girl's name.

-It'd be a lovely girl's name, wouldn't it?

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-It is a girl's name.

-Is it?

-Well, in America, yeah. Savanna.

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-Oh, well, in America, lots of things are girls' names.

-That is true.

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In America, omnivore is a name.

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Yeah. LAUGHTER

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There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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-Alison, a very warm welcome to you.

-Thank you.

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-Now, you and John... You're from Glasgow.

-I am.

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-And John's from Kingston.

-Well, we both started in Richmond.

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What took you up to Glasgow?

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I got a job transfer, and it's cheaper living there.

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So how nice of you to have a little family reunion on Pointless.

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-Absolutely.

-If you fancy having a chat between rounds,

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catching up at all, just you tuck in there.

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Now then, Alison, so what do you do?

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-I work for the Department for Work and Pensions.

-I see.

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You say that quite sheepishly.

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Well, I'm not sure how much I'm meant to say.

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Well, you've already said too much. LAUGHTER

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Now, Alison, that board is all yours.

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-If you wanted to go through it and fill in the blanks.

-Yeah.

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Four unanswered.

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The ones I had chosen have both gone,

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which I thought might be better answers.

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The top one, I think, is predator.

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The next one is probably evergreen.

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The one next from bottom is desert.

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And the one right at the bottom, I think, would be extinct.

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But I will go for...

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the one at the top, predator.

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Predator, says Alison.

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Let's see how far down the column you get with predator.

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Eeh! 87.

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-Well...

-They were all gone.

-APPLAUSE

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87.

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I know. Very difficult to work out

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what's high-scoring and what's not on this board.

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And that's actually the highest scorer of all, 87 points.

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But I suspect a lot of people would've said the same thing.

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The Australian Museum in Sydney do a ranking system

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of Australia's most dangerous animals from one to ten.

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Do you know what their most dangerous animal is?

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-Human.

-No.

-LAUGHTER

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It is not a human.

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-Box jellyfish.

-Oh, no, not in a box?

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No, it's just... Goodness me.

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It's just called a box jellyfish.

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-Oh, I see. Fine. OK.

-Cos it looks like a box.

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-And it jumps out of boxes.

-Oh, no!

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-All boxes. Cereal boxes anything.

-Oh!

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Essentially, they are jellyfish that live in cereal boxes.

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-And if you open the cereal box, they kill you.

-Wow.

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-So that's why they're so dangerous.

-Yeah, they would be.

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-Because you don't expect it.

-No.

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But most boxes, they're not in.

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-They're in about one in eight boxes.

-LAUGHTER

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One in eight boxes will kill you.

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But seven in eight boxes won't kill you,

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and it's a nutritious breakfast.

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Now, it's really hard to work out

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what's going to score high on this, isn't it?

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I would've thought predator wasn't a bad answer.

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Evergreen would've scored you 72.

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Desert would've only scored 73.

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-I would've thought that would be way up there.

-Surely.

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And extinct, actually quite a low score

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-on this board. 46.

-Wow.

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-So, I would say that was unlucky with predator.

-There we are.

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We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

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17, Mark. Look at that.

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That's just a ridiculously low score.

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So, Mark and Shirley looking very strong there.

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Then we travel up to 50 where we find Nicola and Marlene.

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And 66, Jenny and Sarah.

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Then up to 87, where we find Alison and John.

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So, yes, John, you'll get first dibs on the new board,

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so find a nice low score there and good luck with that.

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We're going to come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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So, we're going to put seven more Earth Science-related clues

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up on the board, and here they are.

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We've got...

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I'm going to read those all one last time.

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-John, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

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And great to have occasioned this family reunion.

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John, what do you do?

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Now, I'm a tour guide at Twickenham Stadium,

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which is a part-time job,

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and I also am a producer

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for my local talking newspaper for the blind.

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Good for you. That's fantastic.

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So, what's your favourite fact when you're showing people round?

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There's a painting in one of the VIP rooms which has a ghost in it,

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and we always ask kids

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the reason for why this ghost might be in there.

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Most of them say, "Oh, he was sent off,"

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or, "He was in the sin bin," or something.

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This is a painting from 1882 or something,

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so they don't quite get the historical significance.

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But apparently, it's because the artist who painted it

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was a portrait painter and people paid him,

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and this guy didn't pay his bill,

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so he painted him in and then painted him out.

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But he didn't finish the job, so there's a...

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-Wow. So he just took him out... He took him out.

-Took him out.

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-Took him out.

-Took him out of the picture, as they say.

-Yeah.

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Wow.

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Now, John, what are the answers to these natural history clues?

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-We need a low score from you on this board.

-We do, we do.

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I think I shall go for the third one down,

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which I think is biosphere.

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Biosphere, says John.

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That's the kind of answer we need from you at this point.

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A biosphere. Let's see if that's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

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No red line for you as you're the high-scorers.

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It's right.

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Well, 17's our lowest score so far.

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34 for biosphere.

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-APPLAUSE

-121 is your total.

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Good answer, John. Yeah, biosphere, it's essentially from...

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It's a few kilometres up into the atmosphere

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down to the deep sea vents of the ocean. That's the biosphere.

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If you go to a ball shop, you can biosphere.

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-LAUGHTER

-Yes, you can.

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OK. Marlene, I'm sorry. Marlene, welcome to Pointless.

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Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Marlene?

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I'm a personal assistant for a finance director.

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-Enjoyable?

-Yes.

-Are you treated well?

-I am, indeed.

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That's very good.

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Now, when did the bike thing bite you?

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-When did this...?

-About 2012.

-Right.

-Yeah.

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And just out of nowhere, you just suddenly thought,

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"Actually, this is fun."

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Well, I decided that I was going to take a bicycle

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from the Ride to Work scheme.

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So I started cycling to work,

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and then I thought "I need to keep it up,"

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so I signed Nicola up for London to Brighton.

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I mean, wow, that's... ALEXANDER LAUGHS

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That's taking things rather extremely.

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-Have you done some serious long-distance bicycling...

-Yes.

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since you did the London to Brighton?

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Yeah, we've done London-Cambridge,

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and we did the night ride around London,

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-and I did the Ride 100 last year.

-Well done, you. That's brilliant.

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No, you really have got it, haven't you? Congratulations.

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Well, there you are. You're on 50.

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If you can score 70 or less, you're into Round Two.

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-Marlene, what are you going to go for?

-OK.

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Num...ber five, I'm going to go for reptile.

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OK, reptile. OK, reptile. Let's see if that's right.

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Here is your red line.

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If you can get below that with reptile,

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you are through to the next round.

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It's right.

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You are through.

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Oh, look at that. 60.

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-Oh, my gosh.

-110 is your total. APPLAUSE

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Yeah, there are over 6,000 species of reptile.

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-They exist on all continents apart from Antarctica.

-Thank you.

0:16:020:16:06

-Now, Shirley, welcome to Pointless.

-Hi.

-Lovely to have you here.

0:16:060:16:10

What do you do, Shirley?

0:16:100:16:11

I'm a barista for an independent coffee shop in Hartley Wintney.

0:16:110:16:15

How many different types of coffee do you make in your shop?

0:16:150:16:18

Probably...nine or ten.

0:16:180:16:20

-Do you do cold coffees in the summer as well?

-We do. Iced coffees.

0:16:200:16:23

Oh! Very nice.

0:16:230:16:24

What are your interests outside the coffee shop?

0:16:240:16:27

I do a bit of metal detecting.

0:16:270:16:29

I used to do Morris dancing, but I had to give it up.

0:16:290:16:32

Why did you have to give it up?

0:16:320:16:34

Playing 30 years of sport just did my knees.

0:16:340:16:37

How delighted was Mark when you had to give up Morris dancing?

0:16:370:16:40

LAUGHTER

0:16:400:16:42

Quite gutted, actually. It was a good day out.

0:16:420:16:44

Yeah, I bet, and almost always outside the pub as well.

0:16:440:16:47

-It was.

-Exactly.

-Yeah. Very nice.

0:16:470:16:49

-With sticks and bells and hankies.

-Hankies, yeah. That's right.

0:16:490:16:52

Ah! Very good.

0:16:520:16:55

Now, Shirley, what are you going to go for?

0:16:550:16:57

You are currently on 17. Well done, Mark.

0:16:570:17:00

It doesn't matter what you score,

0:17:000:17:01

you are through to the next round even if you score 100.

0:17:010:17:04

-So this is good news.

-Right.

0:17:040:17:05

I've looked at the board,

0:17:050:17:07

and a couple of them look reasonably obvious,

0:17:070:17:10

but I think I'm going to go for number four, which is deciduous.

0:17:100:17:13

Deciduous. Deciduous, says Shirley. No red line, you're already through.

0:17:130:17:17

But let's see how many of our 100 people said deciduous.

0:17:170:17:20

It's right.

0:17:230:17:24

52.

0:17:270:17:28

APPLAUSE Very well done indeed.

0:17:280:17:30

69 is your total.

0:17:300:17:32

Well played. Can also apply to animals sometimes.

0:17:330:17:35

So a deer's antlers are deciduous, for example.

0:17:350:17:38

-Ah.

-Yeah.

-There you are. Thank you, Richard.

0:17:380:17:41

-Sarah.

-Hi.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

0:17:410:17:44

Now, remind us what you do, Sarah.

0:17:440:17:46

I work part-time in a supermarket

0:17:460:17:48

-and I also work as a massage therapist.

-That's right.

0:17:480:17:51

Now, in the supermarket, you are in charge of tomatoes.

0:17:510:17:54

Well, all fresh, but, yes...

0:17:540:17:56

Oh, I see, so it's not just the tomatoes.

0:17:560:17:58

Oh, no, fruit and veg, all the fresh meats, all the fresh bread.

0:17:580:18:01

Did you think they have someone in supermarkets who's in charge of

0:18:010:18:04

-each individual product?

-Well, I didn't know.

0:18:040:18:06

-LAUGHTER

-Like, there's the tomato person.

0:18:060:18:08

"What do you do?" "Oh, limes."

0:18:080:18:11

-But... Well, yes, maybe.

-Yeah.

0:18:110:18:13

I want to talk to whoever is in charge of

0:18:130:18:15

-breakfast cereals in Sydney because...

-Oh, no, you don't.

0:18:150:18:18

..that is...they've done a terrible job.

0:18:180:18:20

And what are your hobbies, Sarah?

0:18:200:18:23

My main one is my husband and I have a steam traction engine...

0:18:230:18:27

-Do you?

-Yes. Well, it's a family engine, but we take it out.

0:18:270:18:31

But that takes a lot of upkeep?

0:18:310:18:32

-Go to local rallies with it and things.

-That's fun.

0:18:320:18:34

What sort of speed does it go at?

0:18:340:18:36

Oh, a grand total of about 5mph.

0:18:360:18:39

Excellent. Now, Sarah, you're on 66.

0:18:390:18:41

-If you can score 54 or less...

-Yeah.

-..you're into Round Two.

0:18:410:18:45

Well, I can definitely do three of them,

0:18:450:18:47

but it's the fourth one that will probably get us through

0:18:470:18:50

and I'm not sure about it.

0:18:500:18:51

But I'm going to have to risk that fourth one,

0:18:510:18:54

which is the animal restricted to a certain place

0:18:540:18:57

and I'm hoping it's endemic.

0:18:570:18:59

-Endemic.

-Yeah.

-Endemic. Sounds good to me.

0:18:590:19:03

There's your red line. How many of our 100 people said endemic?

0:19:030:19:06

-It's right.

-Yes.

-Oh, phew.

0:19:090:19:11

Oh, there we go. You are through.

0:19:120:19:14

Not just through...

0:19:150:19:17

APPLAUSE ..the lowest score of the round.

0:19:170:19:19

Very well done indeed, Sarah.

0:19:190:19:20

76 is your total.

0:19:200:19:22

Yeah, Sarah comes to the rescue again there, Jenny.

0:19:240:19:28

All three other answers on the board would've seen you going home.

0:19:280:19:31

It's the only answer you could've given us that would've seen

0:19:310:19:33

you through, so very well played.

0:19:330:19:35

Now, carnivore is obviously the one at the top.

0:19:350:19:37

71 points for that.

0:19:370:19:39

76 points for habitat.

0:19:400:19:42

-Have you got the bottom one?

-Erm...

0:19:430:19:46

THEY CHUCKLE

0:19:460:19:48

It's fish. Guess what it scored.

0:19:480:19:51

Oh, please 100.

0:19:510:19:52

It would've scored you, if you'd said it...

0:19:520:19:55

67 points.

0:19:550:19:56

AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE

0:19:560:19:58

Wow. LAUGHTER

0:19:580:20:01

That is 33% of our country.

0:20:030:20:05

That's over 20 million people going, "F, something, something, H."

0:20:050:20:11

LAUGHTER

0:20:110:20:14

-There we are.

-There it is.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

0:20:140:20:16

Well, at the end of our first round,

0:20:160:20:18

the pair we have to send home with their high score of 121,

0:20:180:20:20

I'm so sorry, John and Alison. Nothing wrong with your answers.

0:20:200:20:23

We'll see you again next time. I'm quite sure you'll go much further.

0:20:230:20:26

-Thanks very much indeed. John and Alison. BOTH:

-Thank you.

0:20:260:20:29

APPLAUSE

0:20:290:20:32

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:20:320:20:35

Well done, everyone. Here we are in Round Two.

0:20:400:20:44

Well, you've seen off one of the pairs already.

0:20:440:20:47

At the end of this round, there'll be another pair leaving us.

0:20:470:20:49

Once again, Sarah, I have to commend you

0:20:490:20:51

for your brilliant low score there, lowest score of the round.

0:20:510:20:55

And, Mark and Shirley, well done, lowest team score as well.

0:20:550:20:57

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:20:570:20:59

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

0:20:590:21:01

The Royal family. Can you all decide in your pairs,

0:21:040:21:06

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

0:21:060:21:08

And whoever's going to first, please step up to the podium.

0:21:080:21:11

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

0:21:140:21:16

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:21:160:21:21

The top 25 women in line to the throne

0:21:270:21:29

after the birth of Princess Charlotte. Richard.

0:21:290:21:32

Yeah, Princess Charlotte was born in May 2015,

0:21:320:21:34

and even she got fish.

0:21:340:21:36

LAUGHTER

0:21:360:21:38

We are looking for any of the top 25 next women

0:21:380:21:42

in line to the throne, please, after she was born.

0:21:420:21:44

So, 25 women next in line to the throne after Princess Charlotte.

0:21:440:21:48

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

0:21:480:21:51

Now, Jenny.

0:21:510:21:53

Erm...

0:21:560:21:58

-Princess Eugenie.

-Princess Eugenie.

0:21:580:22:01

Princess Eugenie, says Jenny.

0:22:010:22:02

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:22:020:22:05

61. APPLAUSE

0:22:110:22:15

-61.

-Yeah, eighth in line to the throne, Princess Eugenie.

0:22:150:22:19

-Works in an auction house in New York.

-There you are.

0:22:190:22:23

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:22:230:22:25

Shirley.

0:22:250:22:26

Er, well, I think I'll go for the Princess Royal, Princess Anne.

0:22:260:22:32

Princess Anne, says Shirley.

0:22:320:22:33

Let's see if that's right, let's see

0:22:330:22:35

how many of our 100 people said Princess Anne.

0:22:350:22:37

-Oh.

-62.

0:22:420:22:43

APPLAUSE

0:22:430:22:46

Yeah, she's 12th in line to the throne, Princess Anne.

0:22:480:22:50

Thank you very much indeed.

0:22:500:22:52

Now, Marlene, who are the next women in line to the throne

0:22:520:22:56

after Princess Charlotte?

0:22:560:22:58

-Zara Phillips.

-Zara Phillips, says Marlene.

0:22:580:23:01

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Zara Phillips.

0:23:010:23:04

38.

0:23:120:23:13

APPLAUSE 38.

0:23:130:23:16

Yeah, very well done. The daughter of Princess Anne, of course.

0:23:180:23:21

-Zara Tindall, she is now.

-Thanks very much.

0:23:210:23:24

We're halfway through the round.

0:23:240:23:25

Let's look at those scores. 38.

0:23:250:23:27

Very well done, Marlene. Best score of that pass was yours.

0:23:270:23:30

Then up to 61, where we find Jenny and Sarah.

0:23:300:23:31

Then 62, Shirley and Mark.

0:23:310:23:33

You're ahead, Mark, so we need a low score from you.

0:23:330:23:36

Best of luck with that.

0:23:360:23:37

It's going to get quite interesting as we come back down the line,

0:23:370:23:40

which we are now going to do.

0:23:400:23:41

So could the second players please step up to the podium?

0:23:410:23:43

So, Nicola, remember, we are looking for the name of

0:23:460:23:49

any of the top 25 women in line to the throne after Princess Charlotte.

0:23:490:23:54

I'm going to go for Eugenie's sister, Princess Beatrice.

0:23:540:23:57

Princess Beatrice, says Nicola.

0:23:570:23:59

Good move. Princess Beatrice. There's your red line.

0:23:590:24:02

If you get below that, you're through to the head-to-head.

0:24:020:24:05

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Princess Beatrice.

0:24:050:24:08

It's right.

0:24:100:24:11

-Ooh!

-71.

0:24:130:24:14

APPLAUSE 71 takes your total up to 109.

0:24:140:24:18

Yeah, seventh in line to the throne, Princess Beatrice.

0:24:190:24:22

I've sensed we've used up the obvious ones.

0:24:220:24:24

-Yeah, I think we have now.

-Yeah.

0:24:240:24:26

OK. Now, Mark.

0:24:260:24:29

Yeah, the Royal family definitely isn't my strong point.

0:24:290:24:33

There's two names I had in mind,

0:24:330:24:35

but Princess Margaret.

0:24:350:24:37

Princess Margaret. Here is your red line.

0:24:370:24:39

You'd have to get below that to get through to the head-to-head,

0:24:390:24:42

but you'd have to be right first.

0:24:420:24:43

So let's see how many of our 100 people said Princess Margaret.

0:24:430:24:47

I'm afraid no longer.

0:24:490:24:51

-Is she?

-That scores 100 points.

0:24:510:24:54

Take the total up to

0:24:540:24:55

162, Mark.

0:24:550:24:57

Yeah, right family, but, yeah, she died in 2002, Princess Margaret.

0:24:570:25:01

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:25:010:25:04

Now, Sarah, over to you.

0:25:040:25:07

The good news is you're through. Doesn't matter if you score 100.

0:25:070:25:10

I'm just going to have to pick a name and hope it's part of the line.

0:25:100:25:15

Lady Victoria Hervey.

0:25:150:25:18

Lady Victoria Hervey. OK, well, let's see.

0:25:180:25:21

There's no red line for you, you're already through.

0:25:210:25:23

But Lady Victoria Hervey, we shall see if she features on that list.

0:25:230:25:26

Does she?

0:25:260:25:27

No, she doesn't.

0:25:300:25:31

-Scores you 100 points.

-Oh, well.

-Takes your total up to 161.

0:25:310:25:34

Through you go anyhow.

0:25:340:25:35

The daughter of the Marquess of Bristol, Lady Victoria Hervey.

0:25:350:25:38

Sounds like she's in the top 25 in line to the throne, but not.

0:25:380:25:41

-I bet you know a few.

-I would go for Lady Sarah Chatto.

0:25:410:25:44

-Lady Sarah Chatto would've scored you 3 points.

-There we are.

0:25:440:25:47

Would've scored you 3 points.

0:25:470:25:48

Lots of pointless answers on this list.

0:25:480:25:50

Let's take a look at them.

0:25:500:25:52

They're all children of someone or other.

0:25:520:25:55

Don't make me go through every single one of them.

0:25:550:25:57

Margarita Armstrong-Jones - one of yours.

0:26:040:26:06

LAUGHTER

0:26:060:26:08

I know she's not.

0:26:110:26:12

Oh, look! Savannah. Savannah Phillips.

0:26:120:26:15

You also could've had Omnivore Phillips.

0:26:150:26:17

-Was also a pointless answer.

-LAUGHTER

0:26:170:26:19

Well done if you said that.

0:26:190:26:21

Maud Windsor, Zenouska Mowatt.

0:26:210:26:22

You also could've had Estella Taylor, Flora Ogilvy,

0:26:220:26:25

Lady Amelia Windsor, Lyla Gillman and Senna Lewis.

0:26:250:26:29

All of those were pointless answers. We've had the top four, actually.

0:26:290:26:32

The first four answers we were given were the top four biggest scorers.

0:26:320:26:35

Lady Louise Windsor would've been a very good answer.

0:26:350:26:38

Would've scored you 3.

0:26:380:26:39

2 points for Princess Alexandra, 2 points for Mia Tindall.

0:26:390:26:42

Would've also been a very good answer. Zara and Mike's daughter.

0:26:420:26:44

Lady Helen Taylor, Isla Phillips and Lady Davina Lewis

0:26:440:26:47

would've scored you 1 point.

0:26:470:26:48

And that's all 25.

0:26:480:26:50

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:26:500:26:52

So at the end of our second round,

0:26:520:26:53

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 162,

0:26:530:26:56

I'm sorry, Mark and Shirley, it is you.

0:26:560:26:58

We will see you again next time. Look forward to that very much.

0:26:580:27:01

In the meantime, thanks very much, Mark and Shirley.

0:27:010:27:03

APPLAUSE

0:27:030:27:06

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:27:060:27:09

Very well done, Nicola and Marlene, Sarah and Jenny.

0:27:140:27:17

You're now one step closer to the final

0:27:170:27:19

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

0:27:190:27:21

which currently stands at £1,000.

0:27:210:27:24

Well, from here on in, you play as a team.

0:27:240:27:26

You can chat before you give your answers.

0:27:260:27:28

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

0:27:280:27:31

Well, well done. Both newcomers to the head-to-head.

0:27:310:27:33

Sarah and Jenny, we said goodbye to you in Round Two last time.

0:27:330:27:37

But Nicola and Marlene, straight in. Just swanning through the game.

0:27:370:27:42

Here you are, our low-scorers, our golden couple in the head-to-head.

0:27:420:27:45

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:27:450:27:47

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

0:27:530:27:56

Egg dishes.

0:27:590:28:01

Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now

0:28:010:28:03

of dishes which contain an egg as one of the ingredients.

0:28:030:28:05

Can you tell us what they are, please?

0:28:050:28:08

-I do like an egg.

-You like an egg, do you?

-Mm.

0:28:080:28:10

And I would like an egg as well, actually. I'm starving.

0:28:100:28:12

That's good to know. I will notify CNN.

0:28:120:28:15

-"Armstrong Likes Egg..."

-Good.

-..will be their headline.

-Yeah.

0:28:150:28:19

-We'll chat more about this.

-Yeah.

0:28:190:28:21

Let's reveal our five pictures of eggs, and here they come.

0:28:210:28:24

Oh, look at that.

0:28:260:28:28

I'm starving. LAUGHTER

0:28:280:28:31

That couldn't have been a...

0:28:310:28:33

Oh... There's B.

0:28:330:28:34

Mm-mm.

0:28:360:28:37

There we are. Five dishes made from egg.

0:28:580:29:02

Nicola and Marlene, you're our low-scorers, so you'll go first.

0:29:020:29:05

-..is going to be the lowest one.

-No.

0:29:050:29:08

..going to be the lowest one. More than...

0:29:080:29:10

-What's that B one?

-Meringue.

0:29:100:29:13

-No, B. What's B?

-Something I don't know.

0:29:130:29:16

-Quiche...

-Key lime pie.

0:29:160:29:19

-I'd go with it.

-Yeah?

0:29:190:29:21

All right. They all seem quite obvious, with the exception of B.

0:29:210:29:25

But we're going to go for C,

0:29:250:29:27

Key lime pie.

0:29:270:29:28

Key lime pie, say Nicola and Marlene. Key lime pie.

0:29:280:29:33

Jenny and Sarah.

0:29:330:29:35

Do you want to talk us through that board?

0:29:350:29:37

We think we know all of them apart from B.

0:29:370:29:40

A - quiche, E - meringue,

0:29:400:29:44

D, I'm not sure how you pronounce it,

0:29:440:29:46

but it's the one we'd like to go with.

0:29:460:29:47

-Nicoise salad.

-Nicoise salad.

0:29:470:29:50

So we have Key lime pie and Nicoise salad.

0:29:500:29:53

Now, Nicola and Marlene said Key lime pie.

0:29:530:29:55

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people got that for C.

0:29:550:29:58

It's right.

0:30:010:30:02

72 for Key lime pie. Popular. APPLAUSE

0:30:050:30:07

Sarah and Jenny meanwhile have gone for Nicoise salad.

0:30:090:30:13

Let's see if that's right for D. Let's see how many people said it.

0:30:130:30:15

It's right.

0:30:170:30:19

And it wins you the point.

0:30:190:30:21

APPLAUSE 38.

0:30:230:30:25

Very well done. After one question, Sarah and Jenny are up 1-0.

0:30:250:30:29

Let's take a look at all of these answers.

0:30:290:30:31

A is quiche.

0:30:310:30:33

-This is a proper big scorer. 95.

-Look at that.

0:30:330:30:36

Just the way they put anchovies on top there.

0:30:360:30:38

They didn't need to do that. That's just...

0:30:380:30:40

-You think that spoils it?

-No, no, it's me.

0:30:400:30:42

-It's just my mouth is now...

-Oh, you'd also like Nicoise salad.

0:30:420:30:45

-They have anchovies in as well.

-Mm, yeah.

-It's all anchovies.

0:30:450:30:48

And we know what anchovies are.

0:30:480:30:50

It's F, blank, blank, H.

0:30:500:30:52

LAUGHTER

0:30:520:30:55

B is the best answer.

0:30:550:30:56

-Huevos rancheros.

-Huevos rancheros. Exactly.

0:30:560:30:59

-Would've scored you 12 points.

-Ah.

0:30:590:31:02

And E. It's not meringue, but 58 of while 100 said meringue,

0:31:030:31:07

but meringue's got too few letters.

0:31:070:31:10

It is...

0:31:100:31:12

mayonnaise.

0:31:120:31:13

-Oh!

-Would've scored 15.

0:31:130:31:15

There we go. Mm.

0:31:150:31:18

I was liking that when it was meringue just as much as

0:31:180:31:20

I'm liking it now it's mayonnaise. Oh!

0:31:200:31:23

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

0:31:230:31:26

Nicola and Marlene, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

0:31:260:31:29

So best of luck. It concerns...

0:31:290:31:31

Capital cities made from chemical symbols. Richard.

0:31:360:31:38

We have done this sort of thing before.

0:31:380:31:40

We're going to give you some lists of elements now

0:31:400:31:43

and if you put all of their symbols together,

0:31:430:31:45

they spell out the name of capital cities.

0:31:450:31:48

Can you give us the most obscure of those capital cities, please?

0:31:480:31:52

This is just brilliant.

0:31:520:31:53

-Well, you say brilliant. Difficult.

-Difficult.

0:31:530:31:57

There we go. Difficult but very rewarding, I think.

0:31:570:32:00

OK, here are our clues. Five of them.

0:32:000:32:02

I'll read those all again.

0:32:190:32:20

So, yes, Sarah and Jenny, will go first.

0:32:330:32:36

I don't have the confidence to do the fourth one,

0:32:360:32:39

but I can do all the others.

0:32:390:32:41

-Tell me.

-I reckon Baku is the second one down because of the K in it.

0:32:410:32:47

-Do you want to say it?

-Yeah, over to you.

0:32:470:32:49

Baku. Is that it how you say it?

0:32:490:32:52

OK, we're confident we can do three, we think we can do four.

0:32:520:32:57

We're going to go for the second one down

0:32:570:33:00

which is Baku. B-A-K-U.

0:33:000:33:04

Baku. Baku, say Sarah and Jenny.

0:33:040:33:07

Now then, Nicola and Marlene.

0:33:070:33:10

We don't know any of them.

0:33:100:33:12

But I think we should go for the first one.

0:33:120:33:17

-I think it's Cairo.

-OK, Cairo.

0:33:170:33:20

So we have Baku and we have Cairo.

0:33:200:33:22

Sarah and Jenny said Baku. Let's see if that's right,

0:33:220:33:24

let's see how many of our 100 people said Baku.

0:33:240:33:27

-It's right.

-Good.

0:33:290:33:31

Oh, that's a good answer. Look at that.

0:33:350:33:37

18. Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

0:33:370:33:39

Very well done. Baku.

0:33:390:33:40

Nicola and Marlene have gone for Cairo. Let's see if that's right,

0:33:420:33:45

let's see how many of our 100 people said that for the first one.

0:33:450:33:48

It is right.

0:33:500:33:51

-Oh.

-36.

0:33:550:33:57

APPLAUSE

0:33:570:33:59

Two very good answers there, but Sarah and Jenny, you win that one.

0:33:590:34:03

Which means, after only two questions,

0:34:030:34:05

you're straight through to the final 2-0.

0:34:050:34:07

Yeah, good answer. Baku, very good answer.

0:34:070:34:09

Ba then K then U, as you see there.

0:34:090:34:13

How are you on the rest of these?

0:34:130:34:14

-I haven't really been...

-To school.

-..to... Yeah.

0:34:140:34:19

LAUGHTER I haven't...

0:34:190:34:21

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

0:34:210:34:24

-I've got the third one.

-OK. Which is?

0:34:240:34:26

-Athens.

-Athens. Exactly.

0:34:260:34:28

It is At He N S. Athens.

0:34:280:34:32

24 points for that.

0:34:320:34:34

The next one down is the best answer on the board.

0:34:340:34:36

The bottom one might be slightly easier.

0:34:360:34:39

-Ah, yes, tungsten is W, isn't it?

-It is, yes.

-Moscow. There we go.

0:34:390:34:43

That's Mo Sc O W. Wolfram is the other name for tungsten.

0:34:430:34:47

27 for that.

0:34:470:34:49

And this last one is the capital of Kazakhstan.

0:34:490:34:54

-And it's Astana.

-Ah.

-As Ta Na.

0:34:540:34:58

2 points for that. Very well done if you got that at home.

0:34:580:35:00

Thank you very much indeed.

0:35:000:35:01

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round

0:35:010:35:04

are Nicola and Marlene, I'm sorry to say.

0:35:040:35:06

Brilliant performance right across the show.

0:35:060:35:08

It's lovely for us cos it means we get to see you again next time,

0:35:080:35:11

otherwise we'd have to say goodbye if you'd gone through to the final.

0:35:110:35:14

We look forward to that very much. Very well done indeed.

0:35:140:35:17

Nicola and Marlene.

0:35:170:35:18

-APPLAUSE

-We did well.

0:35:180:35:22

But for Sarah and Jenny, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:220:35:24

Very well done, Sarah and Jenny.

0:35:280:35:30

You've seen off all the competition

0:35:300:35:32

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:320:35:35

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:35:400:35:42

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

0:35:420:35:45

There it is.

0:35:450:35:46

Well, what a strong performance.

0:35:460:35:48

2-0 in the head-to-head. No arguing with that.

0:35:480:35:50

Absolutely fantastic performance there.

0:35:500:35:53

Anything you'd particularly like to see come up in this last round?

0:35:530:35:56

Personally, possibly Shakespeare, snooker.

0:35:560:36:00

Jenny?

0:36:000:36:02

-Soaps.

-LAUGHTER

0:36:020:36:04

My specialist subject.

0:36:040:36:05

Well, let's just cross our fingers and hope something up on that board

0:36:050:36:08

looks like something you would want to answer.

0:36:080:36:10

Today's selection looks like this.

0:36:100:36:12

We could do, between us, children's poetry.

0:36:210:36:25

And jazz albums, I doubt, new year, no.

0:36:250:36:29

Rugby, if it's going to be down to me, I'm not that confident.

0:36:290:36:32

-Do you want to go with the poetry?

-Go with children's poetry.

0:36:320:36:35

-We'll try the children's poetry, please.

-Children's poetry, it is.

0:36:350:36:38

Richard.

0:36:380:36:40

OK, we're looking for any word of six letters or more

0:36:400:36:43

in any of the following three poems, please.

0:36:430:36:45

So any word of six letters or more in any of the following three poems.

0:36:450:36:49

No hyphenated words allowed and nothing from the titles either.

0:36:490:36:52

Let's take a look at the poems.

0:36:520:36:54

So we're looking for any words of six letters or more

0:37:050:37:07

in any of those three poems. Very best of luck.

0:37:070:37:10

Thank you very much indeed.

0:37:100:37:12

So, as always, you've got up to one minute

0:37:120:37:14

to come up with three answers.

0:37:140:37:15

All you need to win that jackpot

0:37:150:37:17

is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

0:37:170:37:19

-Are you ready?

-We're ready?

-Yes.

-Right.

0:37:190:37:22

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

0:37:220:37:25

Your time starts now.

0:37:250:37:27

The Owl And The Pussy-cat,

0:37:270:37:28

the only one I can think of is "..with a runcible spoon."

0:37:280:37:32

-So runcible could be...

-Runcible, yeah.

0:37:320:37:35

The Walrus And The Carpenter,

0:37:350:37:37

the only line I can think is,

0:37:370:37:40

"The further off from England, the nearer is to Rome."

0:37:400:37:43

-So maybe we could have further.

-Further, yeah.

0:37:430:37:46

I'm trying to think of words that don't stand out rather than...

0:37:460:37:49

What else do you want to go with?

0:37:490:37:51

Erm...

0:37:510:37:53

Wrapped. Wrapped. Is wrapped in The Owl And The Pussy-cat?

0:37:540:37:56

INDISTINCT SPEECH

0:37:560:37:59

No, they're all quite short in that.

0:37:590:38:00

-Is wrapped in The Owl And The Pussy-cat?

-Is what?

-Wrapped?

0:38:000:38:04

Possibly, yeah. Try that.

0:38:040:38:06

-I think...

-"The Owl and the pussy-cat got in a..."

0:38:060:38:09

-It's got wrapped in it.

-Right.

0:38:090:38:10

Do you want to go with those?

0:38:100:38:12

We're just going to panic if we think.

0:38:120:38:14

We've got a trophy. It's OK, we've got a trophy.

0:38:140:38:16

OK. We have our three.

0:38:160:38:18

-Ten seconds. Are you happy now?

-Yes.

-Shall we stop the clock?

-Yep.

0:38:180:38:21

OK, we can stop the clock there.

0:38:210:38:23

What are your three answers?

0:38:250:38:27

-Go for it.

-Wrapped...

-Wrapped...

0:38:270:38:29

-..and...

-Runcible...

-..runcible...

0:38:290:38:32

-..and further.

-..and further.

0:38:320:38:34

-Can you say which poem each one is from?

-Sorry.

0:38:340:38:36

-The Owl And The Pussy-cat.

-Wrapped from The Owl And The Pussy-cat.

0:38:360:38:39

-Runcible...

-From The Owl And The Pussy-cat.

0:38:390:38:42

-And further...

-The Walrus And The Carpenter.

0:38:420:38:44

The Walrus And The Carpenter. Of those three,

0:38:440:38:47

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

0:38:470:38:49

Probably yours, actually. Wrapped.

0:38:490:38:52

-Wrapped, if it's right.

-OK, wrapped.

0:38:520:38:55

Least likely to be pointless?

0:38:550:38:56

Further, because I'm not absolutely certain it's that poem.

0:38:560:39:00

OK, further we shall put first.

0:39:000:39:02

OK, well, let's put those up on the board in that order, then,

0:39:020:39:04

and here they are.

0:39:040:39:05

We have got...

0:39:050:39:07

Well, three very good answers there.

0:39:090:39:11

Let's hope one of those is pointless and will win you that jackpot.

0:39:110:39:14

What would you do with your £1,000 between you? Sarah?

0:39:140:39:18

Well, in addition to that traction engine,

0:39:180:39:21

we also have a 1951 Land Rover,

0:39:210:39:24

which is well overdue of a spruce up.

0:39:240:39:26

-Probably go towards that.

-OK.

0:39:260:39:29

Jenny, how about you?

0:39:290:39:30

-A lovely holiday with Molly and Jacob.

-Lovely.

0:39:300:39:33

OK. Well, best of luck. Your first answer was further.

0:39:330:39:37

In this case, we were looking for words

0:39:370:39:39

from The Walrus And The Carpenter.

0:39:390:39:41

Let's see if it's right, let's see if it's pointless.

0:39:410:39:43

If it's both of those things, it'll win you £1,000. Further.

0:39:430:39:47

-Wrong poem.

-Bad luck.

0:39:510:39:52

OK, that was your first answer out the way.

0:39:520:39:54

You weren't really sure about further.

0:39:540:39:56

It was holding a place, I would say, there.

0:39:560:39:58

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:39:580:40:00

Your next answer was runcible.

0:40:000:40:02

In this case, we were looking for words

0:40:020:40:04

from The Owl And The Pussy-cat.

0:40:040:40:05

If it is pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

0:40:050:40:07

Let's see how many people said runcible.

0:40:070:40:09

It's right.

0:40:120:40:13

Your first answer, further, was incorrect.

0:40:130:40:17

But runcible is absolutely on the money.

0:40:170:40:19

Down it goes. Through the 20s,

0:40:190:40:20

into the teens, into single figures.

0:40:200:40:22

Down it goes. Still going down.

0:40:220:40:23

4 for runcible.

0:40:230:40:25

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

0:40:250:40:28

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

0:40:290:40:32

Only 4 for runcible,

0:40:320:40:33

which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

0:40:330:40:36

Everything is now riding on wrapped.

0:40:360:40:39

That was your third and final answer.

0:40:390:40:41

The one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer.

0:40:410:40:43

If it's pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

0:40:430:40:45

Let's see how many of our 100 people said wrapped.

0:40:450:40:48

-Well, it's right.

-Well done.

0:40:500:40:52

Further was incorrect.

0:40:520:40:54

Your second answer, runcible,

0:40:540:40:56

took us all the way down to 4.

0:40:560:40:58

Wrapped now taking us down through...

0:40:580:41:01

Ooh! Bad luck.

0:41:010:41:03

13. APPLAUSE

0:41:030:41:06

Well, two very good answers there. But I'm afraid you didn't manage

0:41:060:41:09

to find that all-important pointless answer.

0:41:090:41:11

So, I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

0:41:110:41:14

That will roll over onto the next show.

0:41:140:41:15

It's been brilliant having you on both shows, very strong performance.

0:41:150:41:19

And I'm delighted you came through to the final.

0:41:190:41:21

And you get a Pointless trophy each to take home with you.

0:41:210:41:23

-That's what we came for.

-Good.

0:41:230:41:25

Yeah, with further, I think maybe you were thinking of

0:41:300:41:32

another Lewis Carroll poem. Not in The Walrus And The Carpenter.

0:41:320:41:35

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different poems.

0:41:350:41:38

Let's start with The Owl And The Pussy-cat.

0:41:380:41:41

"They danced by the light of the moon," of course.

0:41:410:41:43

Danced would've been a pointless answer.

0:41:430:41:45

Lovely and willing, pointless answers.

0:41:450:41:47

Those are the only pointless answers there.

0:41:470:41:49

Let's take a look now at A Visit From St Nicholas.

0:41:490:41:52

That's the one that starts, "'Twas the night before Christmas

0:41:520:41:55

and all through the house..."

0:41:550:41:56

Dimples, Donner, one of the reindeer, was a pointless answer.

0:41:560:41:59

It's the only reindeer that was a pointless answer.

0:41:590:42:02

"And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

0:42:020:42:04

"the prancing and pawing of each little hoof."

0:42:040:42:07

Prancing, twinkling and pawing all pointless answers.

0:42:070:42:09

Very well done if you said any of those.

0:42:090:42:12

And The Walrus And The Carpenter.

0:42:120:42:14

I have to say, I don't really know The Walrus And The Carpenter.

0:42:140:42:17

All I can tell you was the biggest scorer was cabbages.

0:42:170:42:19

That's all I know about that poem.

0:42:190:42:21

Butter, frothy, overhead and vinegar were all pointless.

0:42:210:42:25

-Sounds like a good poem.

-Mm!

0:42:250:42:27

Trying to think of rhymes for frothy or vinegar. Very impressive.

0:42:270:42:31

Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home,

0:42:310:42:34

and unlucky in the studio.

0:42:340:42:35

-It's been lovely having you here.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

0:42:350:42:38

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

0:42:380:42:40

but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

0:42:400:42:42

Thank you so much for coming along.

0:42:420:42:44

Sarah and Jenny. Wonderful contestants.

0:42:440:42:46

Well, Sarah and Jenny very sadly didn't win our jackpot today,

0:42:490:42:52

which means it rolls over onto the next show

0:42:520:42:54

when we will be playing for £2,000.

0:42:540:42:56

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

0:42:560:42:58

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:42:580:43:00

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:000:43:02

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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