Episode 25 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can

and you do that by coming up with the answers

no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Alison. This is my brother, John.

I live in Glasgow, in Scotland, and John lives in London.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name's Nicola. This is my sister-in-law, Marlene,

and we're from Essex.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Jon. I'm from Leicester,

and this is my friend Kerrie and she's from Newcastle.

And finally couple number four.

Hi, my name's Shirley.

This is my son, Mark, and we're from Berkshire.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A warm welcome to the show.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show

as it goes along. So that just leaves one more person

for me to introduce.

On a mission to erudition, it's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-A very familiar line-up to us here.

We've got three returning pairs from last time.

Podium two were our stars last time, Nicola and Marlene

got through to the head-to-head.

I say stars, they got knocked out on the head-to-head

but of all the people coming back, you're the stars.

On podium one, John and Alison got knocked out

and Round Two there on podium four, Mark and Shirley, welcome back.

Kerrie and Jon, welcome.

We're all old friends here but I'm sure...I'm sure you'll...

-They'll enjoy the company, won't they?

-I think they will.

-We're all firm pals.

-I think so.

Thank you very much.

Well, Sarah and Jenny didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, I know you all know this but for Jon and Kerrie's benefit,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated.

That's it. That's the only thing we all need to know.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon is...

It's People. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Statues, Richard.

-We're going to show you 15 pictures now

of statues from around the world.

Can you tell us the people that they are portraying, please?

Brilliant. So we're going to put up an image of 15 statues.

That'll stay up for the whole round,

we won't be changing it halfway through.

We just need you to name any person who is featured in statue form.

OK, let's reveal our picture. Here it comes.

There they are. 15 statues.

Now then, John, welcome back.

Do you know, there's something poetic about this cos last time

you were on that far podium and you knew everything on those boards,

but by the time it got down to you it was pretty slim pickings.

-It was.

-Yeah. Now, remind us what you do, John.

I'm a tour guide at Twickenham Stadium

and I'm a producer for a talking newspaper.

Now, how did you get into Twickenham, though?

-Is rugby a passion of yours?

-Rugby's a passion.

No, rugby's a passion and when I stopped working full-time,

I cast around for things to do which I could enjoy

and I live quite close to Twickenham,

so it was an obvious choice.

And as a producer on the talking newspaper,

is that in a sort of engineering capacity or is it...?

Well, I could call it that but it's twiddling a few knobs and dials...

That's an engineering capacity, John.

..and hoping that it all comes together on the day. Yeah, exactly.

Brilliant. Now, John, statues. Statues, John.

What would you like to go for?

Hm...

I think I will go for...

Abraham Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln, says John.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Abraham Lincoln.

It's right.

64. APPLAUSE

That's OK. 64.

Yeah, there he is on the top row in the middle there.

That's the Lincoln Memorial. It's 99ft high.

Even the seated figure itself is 19ft high.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-That's enormous.

-That is a foot and a half taller than me.

-Yeah.

Yeah, it is. LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Nicola, welcome back to Pointless.

-Hi. Thank you.

Our low scorers in the head-to-head.

Through you went like a knife through butter and then...

-..knocked out 2-0 in the head-to-head.

-I know.

-I don't know what happened there.

-Key lime pie.

Oh, it's key lime pie, of course.

-Now, Nicola, remind us what you do.

-I run my own marketing company.

You run your marketing company.

And when you're not doing that, you're a mad keen cyclist.

Well, a cyclist. Mad when I'm with Marlene but, yeah.

What was your time when you did the London to Brighton?

-Seven hours.

-That's pretty good, isn't it?

-No!

-Isn't it?

When we were riding up, people were going back home.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, but you went over the Devil's Dyke though.

-You didn't go the direct route, did you?

-No.

We went up the Devil's Dyke like most of them did and...

-But it was good.

-Now, Nicola, what would you like to go for?

WHO, I should say, would you like to go for?

I will pick Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela, says Nicola.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Nelson Mandela.

It's right.

65. Very, very close.

APPLAUSE A bit of a relief

for John and Alison, no longer the high-scorers.

That's in Parliament Square, in London.

It was unveiled in 2007

and Nelson Mandela himself was there to see it unveiled.

The only shame about that is that you can't see his shirt.

You know, cos he always had nice patterns on his shirt.

-He had a nice floral shirt, didn't he? Yeah.

-There we go.

Kerrie, welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here. From Newcastle?

-Yes.

-And what do you do, Kerrie?

-I'm a communications officer.

How long have you done that?

I've just been there a year.

I worked for Leeds University before that.

And what are your hobbies when you're not communicating

for the housing people?

I'm a bit of a gym rat.

Gym gerbil, surely a gym gerbil? LAUGHTER

I'm a bit big for a gerbil. Although it's a big rat, isn't it?

-Anyway, so...

-Anyway!

Who would you like to go for from our famous statues here?

Well, I'm not entirely sure but I'm going to go for Fred Perry.

Fred Perry, says Kerrie.

Sounds good and it rhymes.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Fred Perry.

65 and 64 are our only scores so far

and you've whizzed past those.

Look, there you go, 22,

very well done indeed.

22 for Fred Perry.

Yeah, now resides outside Centre Court, that statue.

He was also world table tennis champion, Fred Perry.

-I didn't know that.

-Yeah, it's pretty good going, isn't it?

That is good going.

Is it a different season, the table tennis season?

I know very little about table tennis on a professional basis.

No, but it's smaller rackets.

This is true. There we go. Thank you very much indeed.

-Now then, Shirley, welcome back.

-Hiya.

-It was Round Two we had to say goodbye to you last time.

-It was.

Remind us what you do, Shirley.

I'm a barista at an independent coffee shop

in Hartley Wintney, in Hampshire.

Now, that's nice. How big is your coffee shop?

It seats about 35 people.

Presumably it is the hub of Hartley Wintney?

-We would like to think so.

-I should think so.

I mean, I imagine the coffee side of it is all well and good

but it's the gossip, really, isn't it, Shirley?

Well, I like to keep, you know, mum on some of the things that I'm told.

Absolutely.

What would you like to go for on our board?

I think I'd like to go for Eric Morecambe.

Eric Morecambe, says Shirley.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Eric Morecambe.

It's right.

Well, you've passed the 65, 64 mark.

54 is where

you end up there, Shirley, not bad at all.

There he is, bottom left.

That's in Morecambe Bay, that is, and that was unveiled by the Queen.

Nice he's got his binoculars on, which I think is quite sweet.

-Yes, exactly.

-Very nice. Thank you very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

The best score of that pass was yours, Kerrie, very well done.

Jon and Kerrie looking very strong there on 22.

Then up to 54, Shirley and Mark.

Then up to 64, John and Alison - not our high-scorers.

Then up to 65, Nicola and Marlene. Our low scorers from last time.

Just ahead, just by one click.

So, Marlene, we need a low score from you.

I hope you found someone nice and low-scoring on that board behind me.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Now, Mark, welcome back.

Hello.

-We'll draw a veil over your...

-Yeah.

-..the answer that saw you...

I say draw a veil, we won't, actually.

LAUGHTER

You gave us... We were looking for females in line to the throne

and you...the evergreen Princess Margaret.

-Yeah.

-I know, I hate to...

It was heartbreaking to have to tell Mark,

-but I'm afraid she's no longer with us. I'm sorry.

-Sadly, yeah.

-Just a few years out.

-Yeah.

I'm sorry that we had to be the ones to tell you that, Mark.

-Remind us what you do, Mark.

-I'm an air-hygiene engineer.

In the Berkshire area or...?

Wherever there's an extract system, I go!

-They only call you in when it's a bit...

-Yeah.

So what are your tips for not...

I mean, do you just wear a mask or do you...

Do you have a nosegay?

No. Wear your respirator -

obviously, you don't want to get all the chemicals in your lungs -

and have a really sharp scraper.

OK. Now, Mark, you're on 54.

The high-scorers are on 65,

so 10 or less would keep you from being the new high-scorers.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

I'm going to go with...

Gandhi.

I don't know if I have to say a first name as well.

-Mahatma Gandhi.

-Mahatma Gandhi.

There's your red line.

If you happen to get below that, you're straight into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mahatma Gandhi.

It's right.

65. There we are.

You equal our high score over here.

119 is your total.

Yeah, that's also in Parliament Square -

unveiled in 2015,

-though he did not turn up for the unveiling.

-No.

I don't really want to tell Mark why.

LAUGHTER

-I think he's had enough bad news for...

-I think so.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Jon, welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Jon?

-I'm a player liaison officer.

-Whereabouts?

-At Leicester City Football Club.

-That's quite fun.

What does that actually mean?

You're the go-between between the manager and the players?

Absolutely, yeah. It's helping players that come from abroad

to settle in.

Relocating them, finding schools for their children.

Oh, I see. That's quite nice. You bed them in,

-make sure they're happy.

-I'm like a surrogate father.

-Yeah.

You basically take them round the Ferrari dealership...

LAUGHTER ..and say, "This one's very nice."

It has happened.

-It's that kind of thing?

-Yeah.

-Ah, that's fun.

-Yeah.

And what do you like doing when you're not being a father figure

-to all the...?

-I really enjoy cycling.

I watch football as well, I like northern soul music,

anything from the '90s - Britpop, that era as well -

-Stone Roses that sort of thing.

-Very good indeed.

Now, Jon, lovely low score from Kerrie in the first pass.

96 or less gets you through.

I mean, really, couldn't be simpler.

OK. Well, I'm going to play it really safe, I think,

and say Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson, says Jon.

OK. Michael Jackson. There is your red line.

If you can get below that with Michael Jackson,

you're into the next round.

There we are, you've done it.

67.

Takes your total up to 89.

Yeah, there he is on the bottom row there outside...

That's when he was outside Craven Cottage,

Fulham's football ground.

-I loved it, loved it.

-Where's he gone to?

-It's in the National Football Museum in Manchester.

-Is it really?

It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

Why is it associated with football now then?

Well, it's because Mohamed Al-Fayed was friends with Michael Jackson

-and Michael Jackson once came to a game...

-And gave him...

No. ..and Mohamed Al-Fayed commissioned the statue.

It looks like a waxwork.

So he put it there.

All the fans immediately went, "We cannot have this.

"We cannot have this here."

And he went, "Well, I'll tell you what,

"why don't you go and support another team?"

And all fans went, "Oh, all right. You can have it,"

and it's stayed there ever since.

And then the new owner got rid of it.

-I loved it.

-Hilarious.

-Yeah.

Brilliant, there we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Marlene, you were the high-scorers.

No longer.

If you can score 53 or less, you are through to the next round.

Remind us what you do, Marlene.

I'm a personal assistant.

A personal assistant.

I mean, aside from cycling,

does cycling now take up a lot of your time?

-A fair chunk, yeah.

-How many bikes have you got?

-Hm...five.

-Really?

How many bikes are in regular use?

-Two.

-And is one a sort of more comfy bike

-and the other one more serious racing bike?

-Yes.

-So you only get the racing bike out when Nicola comes round?

-Exactly.

Yeah.

Now, Marlene, how are you feeling about what's remaining

-on that board?

-Not very confident.

-Oh, dear.

I think they'll all be high scores, so we'll see.

Margaret Thatcher.

Margaret Thatcher, says Marlene.

Margaret Thatcher. Here is your red line.

Well, you never know.

Let's see how far down the column you get with Margaret Thatcher.

If you pass that red line, you're into Round Two.

It's right.

Oh, I'm sorry, 75. APPLAUSE

75 - a high score, taking your total up to 140.

For what it's worth, Alison doesn't look like

she's brimming with confidence.

So the round is not over yet by any means, is all I'm saying.

Yeah, there's Margaret Thatcher right in the middle there.

A bronze statue, which is at the House of Commons.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Alison.

Now, that is a pretty hard position to be in there

because all the nice ones have gone and you're left with the...

It's a bit like your experience on the far podium last show, in fact.

-Yeah.

-Alison, remind us what you do.

I'm a civil servant.

-A civil servant up in Glasgow.

-Yes.

-And what are your interests?

Erm...cooking, sewing, knitting, gardening, cycling...

-It seems to be the in thing at the moment.

-It certainly is...

-And tennis.

-And tennis?

-Yes.

Very good. Do you play or do you watch or do you do both?

I used to play quite a lot competitively as a junior

-and then sort of stopped when I had children.

-Good stuff.

Now, Alison, here is your board.

What you could do if you wanted is talk through the various...

Er, no. There's not many left that I even like the look of at all.

There's one I'm toying with, but I'm not confident about it at all.

Erm... There's two I know.

And I will go with...Lord Nelson.

-Lord Nelson, says Alison.

-Yes.

Lord Nelson. OK. Well, here's your red line.

Lord Nelson. If he can get you below that red line, he's done his duty.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lord Nelson.

Well done. Good enough.

59 is what that scores you. APPLAUSE

123 is your total.

Yeah, and that's the statue at the top of Nelson's Column

in Trafalgar Square, of course.

There he is on the bottom.

Now, let's go through the rest of these.

-The top left...

-Oscar Wilde.

-..is Oscar Wilde.

And if you said Oscar Wilde, it would've scored you 14.

-Now, you know I have very bad eyesight.

-Yes.

-You know that.

-Yes.

-Can you guess who I thought the fourth one along was?

-C-3PO.

-I did think it was C-3PO.

-LAUGHTER

I thought, "Well, is that a person?" Of course it is not.

When I looked closer at my little picture of it here...

-It's Prince Albert.

-Prince Albert from the Albert Memorial, yeah.

That would have scored 4 points, so it's a terrific answer.

Second row that is Alison Lapper,

Marc Quinn's statue of Alison Lapper

that was on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.

It's a terrific answer Alison Lapper.

It was the best answer on the board actually. 2 points.

-Then just past Margaret Thatcher we move on to...

-Charles Dickens.

..Charles Dickens. It would've scored you 9 points.

-Then we have...

-The Queen.

..Queen Elizabeth II.

She would have scored you 64.

Then next to Eric Morecambe, I got this one wrong as well,

again with my eyesight. I thought it was Roman Abramovich.

Oh, really?! LAUGHTER

Same sport, Alex Ferguson that is. 10 points.

-And then right at the bottom is...

-Freddie Mercury.

-..Freddie Mercury.

It's a pretty monstrous...

It actually looks quite good from that angle, but it's not brilliant.

I bet it's better than the Michael Jackson one.

-Hm.

-Yeah, I bet it is.

Not as good as C-3PO but better than Michael Jackson.

No, not as good as C-3PO. There we go.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we are saying goodbye to

with their high score of 140, our low scorers last time.

I'm so sorry, Marlene and Nicola,

it's far too soon to be saying goodbye to you

but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

Thank you so much for coming along and playing. Marlene and Nicola.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So here we are in Round Two

and we've seen off one of our returning pairs,

so congratulations for that and well done to Kerrie,

-our lowest scoring contestant in that first round.

-Thank you.

Very good indeed, strong work.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

The English Language.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

Cat words, Richard.

On each board we're going to show you six definitions of words

that begin C-A-T.

We're also going to show you the number of letters in those words.

Can you tell us what those words are, please?

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at at home,

-so best of luck.

-OK. So let's reveal our six clues

and here they are.

I'll read all of those again.

-Alison.

-Right.

Yeah, it doesn't look too bad.

I think I'm going to go for the fourth one down

and have catacomb.

Catacomb.

Catacomb, says Alison. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It is right.

46.

46 for catacomb.

Well played, Alison. Yeah, there's very famous catacombs in Paris.

They call it the world's biggest graveyard -

six million people buried there in the Paris catacombs.

You can go down there. It's quite a sight.

-Hm.

-I know you like going under cities.

I love going under a city.

-Never happier.

-Never happier.

-Yeah.

And Rome, of course, they have amazing catacombs there.

There we are. There we are.

Now, Jon.

Yeah, I know a few.

I think I'm going to go for the last one - catapult.

Catapult, says Jon.

Catapult. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said catapult.

It's right.

52 for catapult. APPLAUSE

The last time they were used on a large scale

was in the early stages of World War I,

-they still used catapults in the trenches.

-Really?

Yeah, they threw hand grenades into enemy territory.

They were replaced with mortars but, yeah, they were still using them.

There you are. Now, Mark.

This board's all yours. Do you fancy talking us through it?

Yeah, I can do. I know them all apart from the second one down.

The first one's a catnap.

Second one down I don't know.

Third one's a cathedral...

..and then the fifth one's a catastrophe.

Erm...

They both took the answers that I was going to give.

So I'm just going to go with the top one,

I hope catnap.

OK, catnap. Let's see how you do with catnap.

Well, it's right.

Oh-yee! Look at that. 87.

APPLAUSE

It could have gone any way, that.

It could have been surprisingly low.

I'm afraid it was surprisingly high, though, 87.

It was, yeah. I love a catnap. Do you? Oh, my goodness.

From the moment you have children onwards,

-you never ever refuse a catnap.

-Never.

It just sucks all the sleep out of you for so long.

Even though mine are teenagers, I've never caught up.

I'll take any catnap. I'd sleep now if I was allowed to.

I am asleep now.

The person or thing that precipitates an event

-is the best answer there.

-Catalyst.

-Catalyst. Yeah, of course it is.

That would have scored you 26.

You're right about cathedral, Mark.

That would have been a better answer for you

cos it would have scored you 57.

And you're right about catastrophe as well

and that would have scored you 66.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, so let's have a look at those scores.

46 the best score of the pass, Alison. Well done.

Alison and John looking pretty strong as contenders

for the head-to-head at this point.

Then up to 52, Jon and Kerrie.

Then up to 87, Mark and Shirley.

Nothing wrong with that, Shirley, but a nice low score from you

should keep you in the game, so best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more definitions up on the board - cat words.

And here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Now then, Shirley.

-Yes.

What would you like to go for? You're the high-scorers there.

I think I'll go for the last one, which is catatonic.

Catatonic, says Shirley.

No red line for you as you're the high-scorers.

Let's see how far down the column we get, though.

It's right.

47. APPLAUSE

47 takes your total

up to 134.

Yeah, it's what cats drink with cata-gin

when they want to get drunk.

Oh, cata-gin.

-Yeah, cata-gin and catatonic.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much. Hmm, thank you. Now, Kerrie.

OK, I'm going to go for the third one down.

I think it's right but I would have thought

it had more letters than this,

but catamaran.

Catamaran. Catamaran, says Kerrie.

-Have you counted them on your fingers?

-Yeah!

And is it not tallying?

Well, I just thought there would be some double Rs or something in there

but for it to fit there's no double letters, so...

Let's hope... Let's hope, Kerrie.

Now, if you can score 81 or less, you're into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said catamaran.

There's your red line.

Absolutely right, Kerrie, very well done.

64. APPLAUSE

Gets you through. 116 is your total.

Yeah, and spelt with no double letters at all.

Double hulls, but no double letters, so very good answer.

-There we are.

-Been around for thousands of years, catamarans.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-I mean, not the same one.

-No. That would be...

-A lot of them sunk.

-Yeah.

-The idea of them.

-Mm.

Thank you. Now, John.

You are the last person to have this board.

If you wanted, you could talk through all of those answers

-and fill in the blanks.

-I'll have a go.

The top one, I think, is cattle.

The next one is catwalk.

The fourth one, I think, might be cataract, but I'm not certain.

I'm going to go with the fifth one, which I think is categorise.

Categorise, says John.

OK, you want to score 87 or less.

Lovely high red line there.

Get below that, you're into the head-to-head.

Categorise. How many people said it?

Very well done.

Nice, low answer. Look at that.

33.

33. Our lowest two answers of the round, in fact, on this near podium.

Well played, John.

You actually knew the best answer on the board, which is cataract.

A large waterfall. That would've scored you 15 points.

So very well done if you said that at home.

You're right about the ruminant animals. They are cattle.

That would've scored 57.

And the biggest scorer on the board is catwalk.

That would've scored you 83.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're at the end of our second round.

The pair we are having to send home, I'm very sorry to say,

is Shirley and Mark over there with 134.

Just, I mean, catnap, I'm afraid, was...

It was something I like to do. So I thought I'd use it.

Well, you know, nice to include it for that reason.

But I'm afraid it has seen you home. We have to say goodbye now.

It's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing, Shirley and Mark.

APPLAUSE

But for Kerrie and Jon, John and Alison,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, John and Alison, Kerrie and Jon.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for that jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

You know the score from here on in. You play as a pair.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, John and Alison, it was Round One last time.

Now look at you. Now look at you!

Our lowest scoring pair, our golden couple.

Very impressive indeed. Kerrie and Jon, very well done indeed.

You had some fabulous answering.

I mean, Kerrie, particularly from you.

Lovely low score in the first round.

I think now you put your heads together,

this should be extremely close.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question. And it concerns...

-Chas And Dave.

-Yeah. Both of them.

-Chas And Dave.

-AND Dave.

We're going to show you five titles of songs now from

Chas & Dave's Greatest Hits. But we've put them in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer?

Wonderful. OK. Here are five anagrams of Chas And Dave.

Here they come.

I'm not sure they didn't actually sing A Bad Greeting Huh Yin No.

John and Alison, you're our low scorers, go first.

HE WHISPERS

Should we just go for an answer?

Should we just go for one?

I don't know any.

THEY WHISPER

Not easy. Um...

As you say, I think some of those were the song titles.

So, I think we're just going to go for Gertcha.

-Gertcha. For which one?

-The third one. The middle one.

I just have to ask, for form's sake.

Gertcha, you're going to say for the middle one.

Now, Kerrie and Jon, talk us through all the others.

The top one is Rabbit.

The bottom one is Snooker Loopy.

Don't know the fourth one.

But we're going to go for the second one.

Which is Ain't No Pleasing You.

Ain't No Pleasing You. So Gertcha and Ain't No Pleasing You,

which I'm going to go on record and say is one of my favourite songs

of all time. So there we are. John and Alison, Gertcha.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Gertcha.

31.

APPLAUSE

31 for Gertcha.

Now then, Kerrie and Jon have gone for Ain't No Pleasing You.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

And it wins you the point.

Well done, you.

Look at that. Down it goes to 6.

Very good indeed.

It means, Kerrie and Jon, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, their biggest hit, actually, Ain't No Pleasing You.

And as you say, genuinely, beautiful song.

-Such a lovely...

-It's a lovely song.

If you don't know it, go and download it.

It's worth doing. 6 points for that.

Rabbit is the top there. That's the biggest scorer.

54. You were quite right about Snooker Loopy.

That would've scored you 16, I didn't see Snooker Loopy.

And the last one.

You'd have to know your Chas And Dave to get that one.

It is The Banging In Your Head. It's a pointless answer.

So, very well done if you got that.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, so here comes your second question.

Now, John and Alison, it's gone slightly against the grain here.

Cos Kerrie and Jon will get to answer this first.

But you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

Famous Katies. Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now of famous people

known as Katie. Can you tell us who they are, please?

OK, let's reveal our five famous Katies. And here they come.

We have...

There we are. Five famous Katies.

Kerrie and Jon, you will go first.

OK, we'll go for C.

I think it's the sister

of a probably more famous brother.

Katie Walsh.

Katie Walsh, say Kerrie and Jon. Katie Walsh.

-Now then, John and Alison, that board is all yours.

-Hmm.

That's a good answer.

We were hoping to go for that one.

A I've seen documentaries about,

-but I can't remember...

-The surname.

-..her surname.

-First name's Katie.

-Yeah, the first name's Katie.

We can hazard a guess, yeah.

-B is Katie Price.

-Mm.

D I don't know.

D and E we're not sure.

-I don't think we're going to beat Katie Walsh with...

-No, we're not.

..B. So...

We're going to have to go Katie Price.

Katie Price. Katie Price - B.

So, we have Katie Walsh, we have Katie Price.

Kerrie and Jon said Katie Walsh.

Let's see how many of our 100 said that for C.

It's right.

Look at that.

5 for Katie Walsh. Bravo.

Good answer.

Now, John and Alison,

you've got to hope you can beat that with Katie Price for B.

Let's see if you can.

It's right.

Yeah. There you go.

79. APPLAUSE

Which means, Kerrie and Jon, after only two questions,

-you're straight through to the final 2-0. Very well done.

-Well done.

It's the best answer on the board as well.

Nothing they could have done about it.

In fact, you scored 11 points over two questions.

Very impressive performance.

A is Katie Piper.

-Right.

-She would've scored you 21.

As you say, there's all sorts of

very, very good documentaries.

D is the English singer-songwriter

Katie Waissel.

11 points for that.

She was on The X Factor

many years ago.

-And E is...

-Katie Holmes.

Katie Holmes, who, of course,

was married to Tom Cruise.

-41 points.

-Can I just say what fine ears she has?

LAUGHTER

-She has very good ears, you're quite right.

-Very good ears.

I like a good ear.

-So weird that marriage didn't last(!)

-I know!

-I didn't understand that at all.

-I mean, who'd have thought?

-He'll find the right woman one day.

-Won't he?

SNIGGERING Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's John and Alison.

It's been lovely to have much more of you this time round

than we did last time.

Cos that was just far too soon to be sending you back.

This time you've come so close to the final.

I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye.

Anyway, great to have you on the show.

-Thank you so much, John and Alison.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done.

-Yeah.

-Good luck.

But for Kerrie and Jon, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Many congratulations, Kerrie and Jon.

You have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a shot at our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,000.

There it is.

Well, I think we've put you through the right sort of paces.

We had famous statues, we had words beginning with cat.

We had Chas And Dave songs. And we had Famous Katies.

And here you are. You've come through smiling.

2-0 in the head-to-head. There's no arguing with that.

We still haven't had any sport,

which I'm guessing you are itching for.

A sport round would be good. Wouldn't it?

-Yeah, for one of us.

-For one... What would be good for you, Kerrie?

-Music or films.

-OK. Well, let's see what today's selection looks like.

Good luck.

There we are.

-1990? 16 years old.

-Go on, then.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-You choose.

-No, no. Go on.

-What do you want?

-Classic American...?

-Yeah. That...that might be better.

Go on, then.

No, we'll go for 1990.

-1990?

-Yeah.

-OK, 1990 it is.

We are looking for any act who had a number one single in the

UK charts during 1990, according to the Official Charts Company.

We are looking for anyone who received an acting

credit in Home Alone, according to IMDb.

Or we are looking for any teams who qualified

for the 1990 FIFA World Cup.

So, anyone who had a number one in 1990, Home Alone actors,

and 1990 FIFA World Cup teams.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are.

Your time starts now.

What do you fancy? Number ones,

I'd say something like KLF.

-Maybe around that era.

-No.

Is that later?

Maybe a bit later. Um...

Wet Wet Wet, something like that?

Yeah, Wet Wet Wet.

Bryan Adams.

Spice Girls, that was...

No. That's about '96, Spice Girls.

What about Home Alone?

I can't think.

I don't... No. I think John Candy had a cameo in it, but I'm not sure.

Do you want to go for that?

-Could do. Yeah.

-That sounds good.

KLF I think might be around then.

-Were they number one, though?

-Yeah.

Um...

-I think so.

-Oh, dear.

INDISTINCT SPEECH

-Bros? Or is it too late?

-Nah, it would be '90,

wouldn't it?

-No, '89.

-Ten seconds left.

I think Bros.

-Jason Donovan?

-I'd say Bros, KLF, as a punt,

then John Candy.

-OK.

-Yeah?

OK, that, I'm afraid, is your time up.

I need your three answers. What can you give me?

-OK, so, for number ones, we'll take a punt on KLF.

-KLF.

-And the other one was?

-Jason Donovan.

Jason Donovan.

And I think John Candy had a cameo in Home Alone.

-OK, so John Candy as your third answer.

-Yeah.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-John Candy.

-I think John Candy.

John Candy goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-KLF. I'm not sure...

-KLF first. Jason Donovan in the middle.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order then.

And here they are. We've got...

Well, best of luck.

Now, let's just say, one of these acts might,

just might be right and might be a pointless answer.

What would you do with your two grand if you won it?

Um, well, I've already been told what I'm going to do with it.

My children are going to half it between them.

-So, I haven't really got a choice.

-OK, well, that's nice.

Kerrie, how about you?

Probably go on holiday.

Very good. OK, best of luck. Three answers up there.

Surely one of them should be pointless.

Surely. Anyway, your first answer was KLF.

In this case, we were looking for number one acts from 1990.

This is the one you thought was probably least likely to be

pointless. But let's find out how many of our 100 people said KLF.

For £2,000, is it pointless?

-Nope. Bad luck.

-Sorry.

Bad luck. I think you were a year out.

I think. That's my hunch.

Unfortunately, an incorrect answer. So, not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Jason Donovan.

Again, we were looking for number one acts from 1990.

Let's see if it's right, let's see if it's pointless.

If it is, it'll win you £2,000. How many people said Jason Donovan?

No! Bad luck.

KERRIE LAUGHS Bad luck.

I'm afraid that's also incorrect,

which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on John Candy.

In this case,

we were looking for actors credited with an appearance in Home Alone.

If this is pointless, it'll win you £2,000.

How many people said John Candy?

-It's right.

-Wow.

Now, your first answer, KLF, was incorrect.

Your second answer, Jason Donovan, I'm afraid,

was also incorrect.

John Candy is taking us down through single figures. Still going down.

-Oh, no!

-Oh!

-Oh!

APPLAUSE

Oh, I'm sorry.

Ohh, that's unfair.

Took us all the way down to 1.

That's a great answer. But I'm afraid, I'm really sorry,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

So I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But what a performance. You've been brilliant right across the show.

Absolutely fantastic. 2-0 in the head-to-head.

No-one can take THAT away from you.

Nor can they take away the Pointless trophies that you each take home.

So there you are. Very, very well done for that.

APPLAUSE

Ah. Kerrie and Jon, you knocked out three returning pairs as well.

We can see how close you were with the John Candy question.

Just 1 point.

But you were also very, very close with your other two answers as well.

Jason Donovan had number ones in 1989 and 1991.

Not 1990. I suspect he would've scored points,

looking at some of the other names on the list.

I'll go through in a bit.

KLF had a number one with 3AM Eternal in February 1991.

-Oh.

-Aw!

I think they might have been pointless.

We'll take a look at the pointless answers.

You'll see where they would've fitted in.

So these are the number one acts.

Bombalurina,

who did Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini.

That was a pointless answer. With Timmy Mallett.

The Beautiful South. A Little Time was a number one in 1990.

The Righteous Brothers. Obviously that was Unchained Melody.

Vanilla Ice with Ice Ice Baby was number one for four weeks.

You also could've had Adamski and Seal,

both of those would have been good answers, for Killer.

Maria McKee for Show Me Heaven.

Partners In Crime for Turtle Power, of course.

The theme tune to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The Steve Miller Band would have been a pointless answer

for The Joker.

Biggest scorer there was Madonna. Kylie Minogue scored 6.

So I suspect Jason Donovan would have scored something.

But KLF a different matter.

1 point there for England and New Order.

Cos of the World Cup in 1990. It would have been a good answer.

1 point, though.

Let's take a look at Home Alone actors.

Bill Erwin was a pointless answer. Hope Davis.

Kieran Culkin, Macaulay Culkin's brother would have been

a pointless answer.

Roberts Blossom, who played the next-door neighbour.

The only people who scored points in that one were Macaulay Culkin,

a very big scorer.

Joe Pesci, Catherine O'Hara, John Heard, Daniel Stern and,

I'm afraid, John Candy.

They're the only people who scored anything at all there.

So if you got anything else at all at home, very well done.

And FIFA World Cup teams. How soon we forget.

Five pointless answers here. You could've had...

Oh, Yugoslavia, remember them?

And Colombia was also a pointless answer there.

England, unsurprisingly, the biggest scorer of all with 64.

Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.

And a one-pointer and two just the wrong year,

really, really tough luck. A terrific performance.

Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Kerrie and Jon.

But it's been fabulous having you on the show.

Thank you for coming on. Brilliant contestants.

Kerrie and Jon. APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today, which means it

rolls over onto the next show, when we'll be playing for £3,000.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.