Episode 26 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, the show where all

the questions have been asked to 100 people before the show.

All our contestants have to do is come up with the answers

no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

Couple number one.

Hello, my name is James.

This is my mother, Corrine. We are from Stroud in Gloucestershire.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Vicky. This is my boyfriend, Mike.

-We currently live in Manchester.

-Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Franklyn. This is my friend, Rhiannon.

-We are from West Yorkshire.

-And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Billy. This is my friend, Craig.

We're from Liverpool.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome. Four newcomers here.

We'll find out more about each of you throughout the show

as it goes along. So that just leaves one more person for me to

introduce. Whenever he gets too big for his boots,

we remind him that his agent's only other clients are a

dancing Russian grizzly bear and 50% of The Cheeky Girls.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-As you say, four new pairs.

-I know.

-I know.

That's quite scary for us.

First time for a long while we've had that.

-It really is. It's weird. It's like starting at a new school.

-Isn't it?

And they are in charge. There is more of them than us.

I'm trying to work out who the bully is.

Corrine. Yeah, pointing to herself. Yeah, I suspect so.

Quite often when we have four new pairs that coincides with

-the jackpot being down to £1,000. But not this time.

-No.

-That's the nice thing.

-That is nice.

And also because we've got four new pairs, I think

I might have gone mad with question two.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, a little bit. It's an unusual one.

-Mm.

It's kind of...quite straight but at the same time,

like I've lost my mind.

I can't wait. Thank you very much indeed.

You will have gathered Kerrie and Jon didn't win the jackpot

last time. So we will add another £1,000 to that.

Today's jackpot starts off at £3,000. There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

There is only one rule to Pointless and it's this.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. That's all there is.

Remember that and you'll do perfectly well.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who'll go first

and who will go second.

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-Did you see Billy and Craig doing scissors-paper-stone there?

-Yeah.

-That's a first.

-Yeah, Craig went for stone there.

-Was it stone that won, I didn't see?

-Yeah, Billy took scissors.

Scissors never win.

Scissors never... They do sometimes. Otherwise the game wouldn't work.

I always think the person who goes stone is the person who

forgot to make their mind up.

Yes, that's very true. They thought it was five and it was three.

-Yeah.

-Anyway, that aside. On each board,

we're going to show you the names of seven UK number one albums.

We've missed out the last word from each.

Can you fill in that word, please?

14 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

OK. We're looking for the missing word from each of these

album titles. And here's our first board of seven.

We have...

I'll read those all one last time.

Corrine, a warm welcome to Pointless.

It's lovely to have you here from Stroud in Gloucestershire.

-Yes.

-And what do you do, Corrine?

I'm an installations manager for a kitchen company.

So I run all the sub-contractors.

-I see. Do you have a shop?

-We have a big showroom.

-A showroom.

-Yes.

And are you there at all or are you backstage?

I'm there in the showroom, seeing customers.

Do you show people around?

-Yes.

-That's quite fun. I imagine people get...

No-one's going to have a miserable time

-planning their kitchen, are they?

-No.

No. Although there's an awful lot more to it than people think.

-They've got to pay for it as well.

-Yes.

-There's that side to it.

-Yes.

-But you're not in charge of that?

-No. I'm not. Thank goodness.

Thank goodness.

And answer me honestly, your kitchen at home,

-was that done by the same people for whom you work?

-No.

No. I have a landlord so he wouldn't pay for one of my kitchens.

Oh, I see. I thought for a moment you were going to go,

"No, not in a million years would I have one of those."

Oh, I would. I would.

-Ah, now, Corrine.

-Mm.

How are you liking this first round?

Um...ish.

You're in at the deep end there.

I think a few of them will have quite high scores, actually.

And I think I'm going to say Shepherd Moon, Enya.

Shepherd Moon, Enya. Shepherd Moon.

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Corrine.

Oh, no!

Oh, I'm so sorry, Corrine.

I'm so sorry. That's 100 points.

I'm afraid Shepherd Moon, the column didn't like it.

Sorry, Corrine.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thank you, Richard.

Now, Mike, a warm welcome to Pointless to you as well.

-What do you do, Mike?

-I'm a shift leader at a pub chain.

-A shift leader?

-Yeah.

-Now that's fun.

What actually does that mean?

It's basically just being in charge of normal bar associates, just...

Bar associates? The whole terminology's changed.

What's a bar associate?

A bar associate is just a standard worker person who serves...

Behind the bar?

-Serves food.

-I see. And you're a shift leader?

-I'm a shift leader.

How long is your shift?

It can be anything from eight hours to maybe 12-plus.

No! 12... 12 hours?

What are you on, a ferry? What is it?

-No, just a pub chain.

-A normal pub chain?

-A normal pub chain, yeah.

I see. How long have you done that?

Overall, about three and a half years now.

Good to be shift leader. What's the next rung?

What do you want to be after shift leader?

Next is a shift manager, but I do want to go into like, brewing,

or a brewery of some sort.

Mm. I thought Shepherd Moon sounded a bit like a good brewery.

-Mm.

-Thank you.

Now, Mike, what are your interests

when you're not working on your shift?

-I like wrestling.

-LAUGHING: OK, that's good.

-I like wrestling.

-That doesn't come up a lot.

Yeah, if that comes up, I'm pretty good.

-Any of your shifts get out of line, quite useful as well.

-Yes.

Very good. Now, Mike, what are you going to go for on our board?

The only one I really know is the Robbie Williams one, which is

-Sing When You're Winning.

-Sing When You're Winning.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said

Sing When You're Winning.

39.

APPLAUSE

39. Not bad at all, Mike.

Yeah, it's his third number one album.

He's had 11 albums in all, Robbie Williams.

I hate that thing, do you, when you're in a pub

-and you're desperately trying to get the bar associate's eye.

-Oh!

That takes forever sometimes.

You just think, "There's three bar associates here.

"Surely one of them can see me?"

Surely one of the bar associates could... Yeah.

Can't we just put some more bar associates on? Surely.

Yeah. Thank you very much indeed. Rhiannon.

Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here from West Yorkshire.

What do you do, Rhiannon?

I work in medical records at the local hospital.

Very good indeed. How long have you been doing that?

Nearly five years now.

What are your hobbies?

I play the flute. I sew. I like to sew cross-stitch.

I like to cook, read, just boring things.

-Let's just go back to the flute though.

-Yeah.

Have you played it all your life?

-I've played it a few years, yeah.

-And you've kept it up.

Do you play solo? Do you play in a group with people?

No, I just have private lessons at the moment.

Good for you. That's fun. That's good.

Do you do exams or is that all behind you?

Yeah, I'm working towards grade-five at the moment.

-Excellent.

-Yeah.

-Well, good luck with that.

-Thank you.

-Rhiannon. Now, these albums.

Corrine's taken a bit of pressure off there by scoring 100.

Doo-Wops And Hooligans, Bruno Mars.

Doo-Wops And Hooligans, says Rhiannon.

Let's see if it's right and let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

39 is our low score.

And you've passed it.

And how. Look at that. 12. Well done, Rhiannon.

That's a great answer. APPLAUSE

12.

Very well played, Rhiannon. Yeah.

His second album, Unorthodox Jukebox, also number one.

-I love a bit of Bruno Mars.

-You do. You're a big Bruno Mars fan.

-Mm.

-Big fan.

-Yeah. I don't know it as well as I should.

-You would love it.

I think our children...my children would like Bruno Mars.

-They'd like the tunes.

-Yeah. They're great.

I don't know why I say "our children" would like Bruno Mars.

I'm sure I would too.

Yeah, and our children would.

-We must check on our children, actually.

-LAUGHTER

-I thought you'd...

-After the show, yeah?

-OK, OK.

I thought they were with your mum. I didn't realise that...

LAUGHTER

-Right, now, Craig.

-Yeah.

-Welcome to Pointless. Here from Liverpool.

-Yes.

-What do you do, Craig?

-I'm a painter and decorator.

Painter and decorator. Do you work for yourself?

No, I work in a company.

Have you left them in the middle of a big job to be here?

I have left them. They don't know I'm here, no.

-They don't know. They think you're on the sick. Oh, no!

-Yeah, yeah.

What do you do when you're not painting and decorating, Craig?

Well, I've got two kids, so...

Time with them. And then, you know, split my time with Billy.

We watch Everton. We go everywhere to watch Everton.

Very good. Very good. OK, Craig. This board is all yours.

So why not take us through it and fill in all those blanks for us.

I can't. I knew the two that are up.

I'd just have to guess.

On the top one. And put Our Version Of Events.

Our Version Of Events. That's good. Sounds good to me.

-It sounds OK.

-Our Version Of Events. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

LAUGHING: Well done, Craig!

Not only is it right, down it goes.

It's the lowest score of the round so far!

Your version of events, Craig, did you proud.

11 is your score.

Yeah, do you know what, not only was that the biggest-selling

album of 2012, it sold so many copies it was also

the second-biggest-selling album of 2013.

-Wow.

-That's pretty impressive, isn't it, from Emeli Sande?

-Emeli Sande.

-Now, Corrine.

Not Shepherd Moon, I'm afraid.

I looked through the board and I said Shepherd Moon as well.

It's not. It's Shepherd Moons,

I'm afraid, so we couldn't give it. Unfair to the others if we did.

Would've scored you 4 points as well. Best answer on the board.

I did the same. I suspect an awful lot of people at home

would've done the same as well.

Probably why it only scored 4, to be honest.

Super Trouper, obviously. A very big scorer, that.

Would've scored you 71.

-The Road To...?

-Hell.

-Yup.

That would've scored you 46.

Do you know the bottom one?

-Love Over Gold.

-Love Over Gold. Exactly that. 18 points.

So, Shepherd Moons is the best answer. Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed. We are halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores.

11 the best score of that pass. Very well done, Craig.

12 is where we find Rhiannon and Franklyn.

39, Mike and Vicky.

Then up to 100, Corrine. I'm so sorry.

But for a rogue S you would be our low scorers at this point.

I'm so sorry. Always tough on that first podium.

But, James, a chance for some heroics from you here

when we get back to you. If we can find a nice,

low score maybe you can help your mum out there.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we are going to put seven more album titles up on the board

with missing words. And here they are.

I'll read those all again.

Billy, warm welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

What do you do, Billy?

I'm a health and safety advisor.

Good you are here, actually, because...

Yeah, I've had a word, but nothing seems to be getting done yet.

No, I mean, these sails are just an accident waiting to happen,

isn't it? LAUGHTER

Everything all right? Everything passed, generally speaking?

No, but we'll see if I win then I'll tell you if everything is OK.

-OK.

-I've always worried about the little step next to podium four.

-Yeah.

-Seems a bit close. No-one has fallen down it yet.

-No-one yet.

But also behind Billy there is a very low railing.

-And a drop of about 17, 18 feet.

-Yeah.

-Into a pit.

-I know, yeah.

You know what, we should genuinely get the crocodiles out of that pit.

-Or we'll just feed them.

-Or feed them.

It would be a lovely thing to do.

-No-one even sees them even. Why have we got them?

-I know.

-I don't know.

-Ugh.

-It was just something I requested.

But there we are. Billy.

When you're not working in health and safety,

what do you like to get up to?

I like travelling. I travel a lot.

I've been to a few festivals in America, Lisbon, I've been to

Glastonbury a few times.

And me and Craig go round and watch Everton a lot.

So you get to pretty much every game, do you?

-When we can.

-That's impressive.

Now, Billy, you are on 11.

If you can possibly score 88 or less,

you are comfortably into Round Two.

I know a few.

But the one I'm going to go for is Urban Hymns - S - The Verve.

LAUGHING: Urban Hymn...s.

Urban Hymns, says Billy. Here is your red line. It's nice and high.

Get below that with Urban Hymns and you are through to the next round.

How many people said it?

It's right and through you go.

Well done, Billy.

Nicely done. 19. Very good indeed.

Takes your total up to a lovely round 30.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, another massive selling album, that one.

Contains two of their biggest hits, Bittersweet Symphony

and The Drugs Don't Work.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Franklyn, a warm welcome here from Huddersfield.

-Hi, yes.

-What do you do, Franklyn?

I'm a customer assistant in a supermarket.

Customer assistant means you're not on any till,

you're just roaming around?

-I do till, I stock shelves, the bakery...

-A sweeper capacity.

I would call you a shelf associate, is what I would call you.

LAUGHTER Shelf associate is good.

Or just a customer associate.

-Yeah, that's nice.

-A shop associate. That's good.

-And is there a good team of you there?

-A very good team.

How many people do you have on duty at any one time?

From four to about ten on the weekends.

-And they are a good gang?

-Good gang. Yes.

-Do you muck about a lot?

-No.

-Good. But no, really?

-Sometimes.

Occasionally. Any favourite aisle?

-The chocolate aisle. I love chocolate.

-Mm.

I tell you what, the perishable goods aisle, always a bit chilly.

-Yeah.

-Bit cold there.

Now, what are your interests when you are out of the shop?

I like to go on days out with my friends or my partner.

I do TV extra work.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

-What have you been in?

I've been in Waterloo Road, Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Corrie.

-Do you enjoy it?

-I do enjoy it. A lot of waiting around though.

-Long days, aren't they?

-Yes.

-Long days.

OK, well, there you are on 12.

If you can score 87 or less, you are comfortably in to the next round.

What would you like to go for?

It isn't the best board, but I do know the third one up.

Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill, I think it is.

Jagged Little Pill, says Franklyn.

Here is your red line.

Get below that with Jagged Little Pill, in you go to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

40.

APPLAUSE

A surprisingly high score. 52 there.

Well played, Franklyn. Yeah, number one over 20 years ago now.

ALEXANDER GASPS

I know.

-That's awful, isn't it?

-Wow.

-Yeah.

-Wow.

-There you go.

-It's quite depressing.

RICHARD CHUCKLES

Yes. Oh, Vicky, sorry, that's thrown me.

I've just had some bad news, sorry. Don't worry. Bear with me.

I'll be with you in a sec. What do you do, Vicky?

I'm a full-time English literature student.

-Now that's... Full-time?

-Yeah.

-Full-time.

Which means you don't do anything else.

No, I'm a part-time sales associate in a jewellery shop as well.

Where are you doing your English literature course?

-Manchester Metropolitan.

-I see. And what year are you in?

I've just finished the final year of my undergraduate.

-I'm going on to postgraduate.

-Really full-time.

-Yeah.

So what, are you doing an MPhil or a PhD or what?

I want to do a PhD after I do my Masters.

-OK.

-Masters is next up.

-Very good indeed.

Now, Vicky, you are on 39.

The highest scorers on 100 still Corrine and James.

So 60 or less gets you through.

Yeah, the two that I definitely know have gone.

I think I might know another one. But I'm not sure.

I'm going to go for the Rolling Stones,

which I think is Sticky Fingers.

Sticky Fingers, says Vicky. 39 is your total.

You want to get below that red line.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sticky Fingers.

It's right. Very well done.

Oh, look at that! 49.

Not much to spare there. APPLAUSE

But enough to get you through. Well done.

Everyone is being so careful with their Ss this round.

Hymns. Pill. Fingers.

Yeah, 11 number one albums, the Rolling Stones.

One of our 100 people said Toffee.

LAUGHTER

-Maybe they were hungry.

-Maybe they were.

Thank you very much indeed. James, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-What do you do, James?

I am a financial services auditor, which is as dull as it sounds.

LAUGHTER Oh, come on.

There have got to be part of the financial services auditing

that gets the pulse quickening.

-Some numbers look different from other numbers.

-Mm-hmm.

Do you have a favourite?

-I've always been partial to seven.

-Oh, seven.

-With a line through the middle.

-With a line through it. OK.

You sidestepped eight there, which is interesting.

Now, James, what do you like getting up to?

My big passion is going to see live comedy.

I go and see as much as I possibly can.

My sister is in an improv group

and they do a performance once a month which I always go and attend.

-Where is that?

-It's in Cheltenham.

And they are going up to hopefully do a tour soon.

OK, do you ever go up to Edinburgh? Do you ever do that?

-I really, really want to go.

-Oh, you must.

-It's the most fun you can have, a week up there.

-It is.

You can fit in sort of eight shows a day.

And they are all sort of bite-sized, which is quite nice.

Now, James, I'm afraid to say that you are the high-scorers

-even before you've given your brilliant answer.

-Indeed.

But would you like to go through that board

and fill in the blanks for us?

I'd like to go through the board and out of the exit really,

to be honest, with that board.

I...

Definitely Maybe, obviously, Oasis.

Stars Of... I own that album and I can't remember what one that is.

I'm just going to play it safe and go with Definitely Maybe for Oasis.

OK, Definitely Maybe, says James.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

62.

162 is your total.

APPLAUSE

That's over 20 years old as well, Definitely Maybe.

-Is that bad news for you as well?

-It is a bit, yeah.

They've had eight number one albums, Oasis.

Now, let's fill in the rest of these answers.

-Do you know Crazy...?

-Crazy Love.

Crazy Love by Michael Buble. 23 points for that.

-The Hard-Fi album...

-I don't know that.

-..is Stars Of CCTV.

-Mm.

That's the best answer on the board as well.

Would have been a nice way to send yourself off.

4 points for that.

-And Wanted On...?

-Voyage.

-Voyage. By George Ezra.

Which would have scored you 9 points.

CCTV was the best answer on that board.

Thanks very much.

At the end of our first round, the pair we are sending home

with their high score of 162, I'm very sorry, James and Corrine.

But had you got Shepherd Moons,

you'd be going through to the next round. I'm so sorry.

Anyway, we will see you again next time.

I'm sure you'll do better. Meantime, thanks very much,

James and Corrine. APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well done, everyone. We've made it through to Round Two.

We've seen off one of our pairs already.

We'll have to say goodbye to another pair at the end of this round.

Don't know who it will be but, Billy and Craig, on the strength of that

round, I don't think it will be you. So very well done to you.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

My favourite kind. Low Altitude Geography.

-I told you. I did warn you.

-Yeah, yeah. There we go.

Can you all decide in your pairs who will go first and second?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what this question is going to be.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Countries that are flatter than the UK.

-Nothing wrong with it.

-Nothing wrong with that, is there?

-No, it's a brilliant question.

-Thank you very much.

Yeah, the highest point in the UK is Ben Nevis, which is 1,343 metres,

to be precise.

We are looking for any country of the world whose highest point

is lower than that, please. So any country of the world

whose highest point is lower than Ben Nevis.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state that's

a member of the UN in its own right.

All of our information is taken from the CIA World Factbook.

I see. OK. There we are.

This is going to be fun. Bit of a minefield, I suspect.

But there we are. We'll have some fun along the way.

Mike.

What would you like to go for?

It might be a bit of an obvious one, but the Netherlands.

It stands to reason, doesn't it?

The Netherlands. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

65 for the Netherlands.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, the highest point in the Netherlands is 322 metres.

There's actually a higher place in the Netherlands, Antilles,

which is technically part of the Netherlands.

But even that is lower than Ben Nevis.

Right you are. OK. Thank you.

It's beginning to settle in my mind at least, this.

I'm less scared than I was to start with.

Rhiannon, what would you like to go for?

Just a guess. Dubai.

Dubai. Let's make sure it's a country.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dubai. Is it right?

Oh, bad luck, Rhiannon. I'm sorry.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer. It scores you 100 points.

-Yeah, not a country, I'm afraid, Rhiannon.

-Is it not?

-No. Sorry.

OK now, Billy. This is going well.

Don't you think, Billy?

Yeah, I'm thinking Madagascar.

Madagascar, says Billy. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Madagascar.

No! Bad luck, Billy.

I'm afraid it's not a correct answer.

-100 points.

-Yeah, sorry, Billy. Huge place, Madagascar.

And they have a peak higher than Ben Nevis.

Thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

65, Mike, there we are.

Well done for going for the obvious answer.

The Netherlands has helped you out there.

Then we travel up to 100, where we find Billy and Craig

and Rhiannon and Franklyn. So best of luck.

We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players

please step up to the podium?

OK. Now, Craig. We're looking for any country whose highest point

is lower than Ben Nevis.

I'm going to say... Estonia.

Estonia, says Craig. OK. We're branching out a little bit here.

Estonia. You're joint-highest scorers so no red line for you.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Estonia.

It's right.

Well played, Craig.

Estonia taking us

beautifully down the column.

To 1.

Very well done indeed. 101 is your total.

Short of a pointless answer from Franklyn,

that should see you into the head-to-head.

Yeah, that lays down a marker. Very well played.

As you well know, its highest point is Suur Munamagi, which is,

I think, 318 metres. Something like that, isn't it?

Suur Munamagi. You can walk up in a morning.

-It's lovely, isn't it?

-Yeah. The snow is... It's beautiful.

-But it's no Ben Nevis.

-Beautiful cafe at the top there as well.

Suur Munamagi.

Oh, dear. Now, Franklyn, you have to score a pointless answer.

But do you know, I bet there are loads there.

I'm sure there is, yeah.

I bet there are. I mean, Estonia, which we all know, scored only 1.

-Yeah, I'm going to go for it. Sierra Leone.

-Sierra Leone.

There we are. Sierra Leone. Sierra means mountain, doesn't it?

LAUGHTER

OK. There is your red line. It's there but it's very, very low.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sierra Leone.

Oh I'm sorry, Franklyn.

I'm so sorry. That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

Yeah, Sierra Leone. Sierra meaning mountains. Leone meaning massive.

-So...

-LAUGHTER

There we go. Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Vicky, I've got fabulous news for you.

-It doesn't matter what you score.

-Yay.

However, wouldn't it be lovely, now that

you've got that safety net, you could find a pointless answer.

-Just think laterally.

-Yeah.

-And come up with a lovely pointless answer.

OK. I'm going to go Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Or DRC as I've noticed we now call it on Pointless.

There we are. No red line for you because you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went with

Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Oh, no. Bad luck!

Bad luck. That scores you 100 points. Takes your total up to 165.

But you're through anyhow.

That went really, really well, didn't it(?)

LAUGHTER That was a good round.

It is a good round. The key to that round is thinking of tiny islands.

That's the key. Madagascar's a very big island.

It was either that or Maldives and I went well wrong.

Maldives would've scored 2 points. It would've been a terrific answer.

That's the key to the round. There's some you just wouldn't guess.

But the little islands are the ones to go for.

All sorts of them are pointless answers. Let's take a look.

Some of the pointless ones.

Belarus is not something you'd ever have risked, I don't think.

But it's a pointless answer.

St Lucia, St Vincent and the Grenadines.

Palau, Nauru, so lots of the Pointless favourites.

Lots of those little islands were all pointless.

Would have been a very good route to go.

Let's take a look at the top three.

The ones that most of our 100 people said. You may recognise the top one.

There we are. Thank you. I liked that round though.

-I liked it.

-I think it was rather good.

I think it was difficult on that first podium.

You've got to get your head into what sort of place

-has no mountains at all.

-Yeah.

-A really, really tiny place, by and large, an island.

-Mm.

People at home will have worked that out. They'll be feeling very smug.

Yeah. Yeah. There we are.

At the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair

we have to say goodbye to, our newest members of the 200 Club...

-Oh, yeah!

-Franklyn and Rhiannon.

I'm sorry to be sending you home now but we'll see you again next time.

Look forward to that very much.

Meantime, thanks very much, Franklyn and Rhiannon.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very, very well done, Billy and Craig, Vicky and Mike.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for that jackpot, which currently stands at £3,000.

A decent jackpot.

We've reached the point in the game where you can start

playing as a team. You can chat before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot.

We've had low scores from each of you, which has been great.

We've also had an incorrect answer from each of you.

We had Democratic Republic of the Congo

and we had Madagascar from you, Billy.

So nearly the Maldives, which would have been a fantastic answer there.

But you've got low-scoring answers within you.

So now you start playing as teams,

I should think we should be quite well matched here.

Anyway, best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question. And it concerns...

Richard.

We are going to show you five pictures now of fictional families.

We just need you to provide the surnames, please.

OK, so let's find the surnames to these families. And here they come.

We've got...

There we go.

Five fictional families.

Billy and Craig, you are our low-scorers so you will go first.

INDISTINCT SPEECH

-OK.

-OK.

-We are going to go for E, White.

E, White. E, White, say Billy and Craig.

So, Vicky and Mike, do you want to talk us through the other families?

We think B might be the Dingles.

-And what...

-C, Royle. Royles.

Yeah, we were going to go for E.

I don't think anything is going to beat E.

-So...

-B?

-Should we go B?

-Yeah.

-The Dingles.

-The Dingles. B, the Dingles.

We have White and Dingle.

So, Billy and Craig said White. Let's see if that's right for E.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said White.

It's right.

OK, where is it going to stop?

18 for White. Well done.

APPLAUSE

18 for White. Now, Vicky and Mike have gone for Dingle.

Let's see if that is right for B.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dingle.

It's right.

30 for Dingle.

Not a bad answer, by any means. But, Billy and Craig, very well done.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Two good answers there. The best answer on the board is actually A.

-And that is the 2002 remake...

-Forsyte Saga.

-..of the Forsyte Saga.

It would have scored you 3 points.

Very well done if you said that.

C is, of course, the Royles.

-81 points for that.

-Pff!

And D is the Ewings.

Scores fewer than the Royles.

Scores 62.

I quite like the idea of a ten-gallon hat.

Yeah, they are good, aren't they?

-They haven't really caught on here so much.

-No, they haven't.

I think perhaps we should start wearing them.

-That's a really good idea.

-Yeah.

-I get enough grief

if I sit in front of people in the cinema without a ten-gallon hat on.

That's true. There we are. OK, here comes your second question now.

Vicky and Mike, you get to answer this first

but you have to win it to stay in the game. So best of luck.

It concerns...

-Richard.

-I'm going to show you five anagrams now of Italian dishes that

contain pasta. Can you tell us what the most obscure is, please?

OK, let's reveal our five anagrams. And here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Or American Echoes, which is also Enya's second album.

No, no. That was American Echo.

-Oh sorry. You're quite right.

-Yeah.

Now then, Vicky and Mike. You go first.

Do you know any but the two obvious ones?

Not really.

We only know the two obvious ones. Um...

Yeah, we'll have to go ravioli.

-Ravioli. From which one, sorry?

-The fourth one down.

-OI RIVAL.

OK, ravioli. Yes, Billy and Craig, talk us through that board.

We can talk you through TABLESPOON EGG HEIST,

which we think is spaghetti Bolognese.

We also thought OI RIVAL was ravioli.

-They've said that.

-I know. That's what I mean.

Um...

We could guess on one.

-What's the one...?

-I don't know.

No, I'd just say that. Cos we don't know any of the others.

OK, we'll go for TABLESPOON EGG HEIST. Spaghetti Bolognese.

Spaghetti Bolognese. So we have ravioli and spaghetti Bolognese.

Vicky and Mike said ravioli for OI RIVAL. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

I've got the top one now as well!

It's right.

Oy! Look at that.

Sorry, OI RIVAL, look at that!

88. APPLAUSE

I've got the top one now.

Billy and Craig, meanwhile,

have gone for spaghetti Bolognese, TABLESPOON EGG HEIST.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done indeed.

Look at that. Low score!

Look at that! 33 for spaghetti Bolognese.

Very well done, Billy and Craig.

That means you, after only two questions,

are straight through to the final 2-0.

Very well played, gents. Let's fill in the rest of this board.

The top one is my favourite.

-It is spaghetti carbonara.

-Carbonara.

-It would have scored 26.

-Oh!

-AS ANGEL is, of course...

-Lasagne.

It would have scored 54.

I didn't get the bottom one. Did you get it?

-That I did get. Macaroni cheese.

-Macaroni cheese.

That was the best answer on the board. 6 points.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Vicky and Mike, I'm so sorry to be saying goodbye to you now.

But it's good because it means we get to see you again next time.

And you'll get a second shot at a Pointless final.

So that's good news.

Meantime, thanks very much indeed, Vicky and Mike.

APPLAUSE

But for Billy and Craig, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Very, very well done, Billy and Craig.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Now you have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £3,000.

There we are.

APPLAUSE

-Come on. That's worth taking home, isn't it? Come on.

-Not half.

You've done so well. I'm really sorry that you won't be here

for the next show though. Cos we've got some great questions.

-Oh, amazing.

-The next show.

-It's all about Everton, the next show.

Yeah, the entire thing. Round One was going to be Everton trophies

and I realised it just wouldn't last long enough. But other than that...

LAUGHTER But, Billy, I wanted to ask you...

Because I read that one of your great interests is the

16th and 17th century Dutch masters.

-Golden Age, yeah.

-That's really true.

I travel round a lot so I always go to the art galleries wherever I am.

-See, that's fantastic.

-So if that's one of the questions...

I was just thinking, that's the kind of niche knowledge that can

really help you out in Pointless.

You got a shake of the head there, did you?

I was trying to do it without anyone noticing.

-Oh, right.

-They didn't notice, did they?

No, they didn't, no.

Now then, Billy, Craig, obviously apart from 16th to 17th century

Dutch masters, what else would you like to see come up on this board?

-Something football, sport...

-Surely.

I've done a bit of revising so capital cities, state capitals.

Actually, I'm not going to say nothing in case

he's throwing papers away.

Presidents and prime ministers might be OK.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Such a good performance on the show today.

It deserves a win of the jackpot. So let's see what's up there.

Let's hope there is something you like the look of. We've got...

INDISTINCT SPEECH

Is that what you want?

The letter S in science, please.

The letter S in science, Richard.

OK, very best of luck, gents.

We're looking for any of the following three things.

We are looking for any chemical element

whose symbol begins with an S.

We are looking for any moons of our solar system

whose name begins with an S.

The moons of any of the planets of our solar system

whose name begins with S.

We are looking for anyone who has won a scientific Nobel Prize

whose surname begins with S.

The scientific ones are physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine.

Anyone who has won one of those whose surname begins with S.

Those Nobel Prizes are up to the 2014 awards.

Chemical elements whose symbols begin with S,

moons of the solar system beginning with S,

and scientific Nobel Prize-winners whose surnames begin with S.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those

-answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

S, sodium. I'm just trying to think of stupid obscure ones.

-Fermium, strandium.

-Strandium.

-If we have to guess, I'm going to go for strandium.

-Yeah.

I thought it was just going to have S in. But I've just...

It's all right.

Scientific Nobel Prize-winners. Smith has got to be a good bet.

Smith. Or Schwartz. I don't know.

-Chemical elements...

-I think that's our best bet, isn't it?

BILLY MURMURS

I haven't got a clue. Not one clue at all.

Yeah, um...

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Strandium...

HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

Ten seconds left.

Strandium's definitely one.

INDISTINCT SPEECH

OK. I'm afraid that's your time up.

Let's have your three answers. And if you say which category.

OK, so scientific Nobel Prize-winners.

Do you want Smith or Schwartz?

-We need full names, guys, rather than surnames.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

-Let's not then.

-John Smith for scientific Nobel Prize-winners.

-I remember it well.

-OK, John Smith.

For chemical elements whose symbols begin with S

we'll say proseodydium and strandium.

John Smith, proseodydium and strandium.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer.

Strandium. If it's not that, we can just go.

Strandium goes last.

Least likely to be pointless, I'm guessing possibly John Smith.

-John Smith, yeah.

-OK, we'll pop them up on the board in that order.

And here they are.

We've got...

-You're slightly dubious about some of them.

-Well, yeah.

-Yeah.

OK, listen, we'll find out. Best of luck.

Anyway, if one of those happens to be pointless,

what would you do with that £3,000 jackpot?

I'd do something nice for the kids.

Give a percentage of it to a charity that means something to me.

-Very good. Billy?

-I'll have to give some to charity as well.

And I've got a holiday booked later in the year,

so pay off that if we do.

That would be handy. Very good. OK, well, best of luck.

In the first case, you've gone for scientific Nobel Prize-winner.

You've said John Smith.

Let's find out if it's right. Let's just find out if it's right.

For £3,000, is it pointless?

Oh, dear. Yeah.

John Smith not a Nobel Prize-winner

so unfortunately not a pointless answer.

However, we now move on to... You revised the chemical elements?

I revised the chemical elements

so I thought it was going to be just with S in.

-Not so specific.

-OK.

-That's why I convinced him to go for it.

Your next answer is proseodydium. Proseodydium.

A nice chemical element.

You hoped its symbol would begin with the letter S.

If it does and if it's pointless, it will win you £3,000.

How many people said proseodydium?

Ooh. I'm afraid that's incorrect, proseodydium.

Not on that list.

Which means you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Your third and final answer,

the one you had no hesitation in putting last.

Your best shot at a pointless answer was strandium.

Let's find out. Is it right, is it pointless?

If it's both of those things it'll win you £3,000. Strandium.

Oh bad luck.

I'm so sorry.

APPLAUSE

I'm afraid the letter S in science didn't come up

quite as well as it might have done.

I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

So I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But really, really impressive performance right across the show.

It's been great fun having you on.

And of course you get a Pointless trophy each to take home.

-That's all we really came for.

-There we are. Very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played, Billy and Craig.

We knew no-one at the start of this show

and now Billy and Craig feel like old friends.

I want them to come back. Do you?

-Absolutely.

-Let's take a look at those wrong answers.

I think you are thinking of praseodymium,

which would have been wrong cos its chemical symbol is Pr.

Strandium doesn't exist.

-Unless you've just invented. In which case...

-It's down the back.

I found it when...

If you did, then we've just got a new element live on the show.

You know it's going to make you an awful lot more than £3,000,

that's the good news. There is scandium.

Which you may have been thinking of. Scandium was a pointless answer.

Unlucky.

You've got to be careful when you revise. That's the thing.

No John Smith. There is three Smiths on the list.

Hamilton Smith, who you would never have got.

Michael Smith. And George Smith.

-Imagine if you'd guessed.

-George Smith.

-Georgie.

-Yeah.

Let's take a look at the answers in the different categories.

-I think you said one of these in your 60 seconds.

-I did!

-You said antimony.

-Antimony. I thought it was Ay.

-Antimony is Sb.

-I'm so sorry.

I thought I heard you just whisper it

and then it went away at the end of the 60 seconds.

-Why didn't you tell me?

-I didn't know what you were saying.

LAUGHTER

Let's take a look at some of those moons.

Everything apart from Sponde and Sinope,

they were the only ones that scored any points there.

Let's take a look at some of these Nobel Prize-winners.

Frederick Sanger won twice for chemistry.

Glenn T Seaborg, who won for chemistry

Seaborgium would have scored you 1 point in the elements round.

Johannes Stark, who won for physics.

And Randy W Schekman, who won for work on human cells.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

That was tough luck in the studio, isn't it?

I'm very sorry we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been brilliant having you on the show.

Thanks so much for being brilliant contestants. Billy and Craig.

APPLAUSE

Sadly, Billy and Craig didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £4,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.