Episode 32 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious answers

and find the obscure ones.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one.

-Hi, I'm Jess.

I'm from North Shields. And this is Pete,

-my boyfriend, and he's from Alton.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Phil.

This is my daughter, Katie. I'm from Sutton Coldfield.

Katie is from Royal Leamington Spa.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Sarah.

This is my mum, Joan, and we're both from Glasgow.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hello, my name's Lucas.

This is my brother, Joel, and we're from Bushey in Hertfordshire.

And these are today's contestants.

Well, thanks very much, all of you. A warm welcome to the show.

We'll find out more about each of you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

An Olympic-quality athlete, if, as expected, they introduce

the watching telly and eating quiche steeplechase to the next games.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hello, everybody.

Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

Now, what a show we had last time

and what a show we're going to have this time, I suspect.

Returning cast of characters here. On podium two, Phil and Kate.

Phil did nothing wrong

other than calling Boris Johnson, Boris Yeltsin.

Apart from that, perfect.

Got knocked out in the first round, but actually, you avoided that

terrible, terrible second round which is all about history

and all sorts of things, and that's where Joel and Lucas left us.

Didn't go brilliantly, Round Two, did it, gents? Round One, terrific.

Round Two, less good.

And then Sarah and Joan got all the way through

to that head-to-head,

and got knocked out by lovely Tom and Amelia,

playing for that very big jackpot, playing for an £8,000 jackpot.

We gave them one of the questions, a golf question,

had 82 answers, and 72 of those answers were pointless.

72 pointless answers,

and they avoided

-all 72 of those pointless answers.

-LAUGHTER

So I won't tell you what the jackpot is today, but I will say

if you were to go into Poundland, you could buy 9,000 things with it.

Wow, that's a lot of...

I won't say what it is cos I know you want to reveal it.

-No, no, you did that very well.

-Yeah.

Tom and Amelia didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add

another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot

starts off at £9,000.

Look at that. There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

All you have to remember is this, the pair with the highest

score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

So you just have to do what you can to make sure you are not that pair.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you all, please, decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second on the English language?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

CHI Words or CHAI Words, Richard.

Yeah, I was just thinking, though.

That is the biggest jackpot for a very, very long time on the show.

-Very long time.

-I'm genuinely nervous for everybody.

-I'm a little...

-It would be a lovely show to win, wouldn't it?

It'll go sooner or later.

It doesn't stick around so much, the jackpot, these days.

Sometimes we give it away seven shows in a row. But £9,000.

I wish you all the very best of luck.

We're going to show you, on each board, seven

definitions of words from oxforddictionaries.com.

Those words all start C-H-I.

Can you give us the most obscure of those?

There's going to be 14 in all to get at home, so very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So let's reveal our first board of clues, and here they are.

We've got...

I'm going to read those all again.

Now, Jess. Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

What do you do?

I've just graduated from the University of Durham with geology.

-Very exciting. Did you have a lovely time there?

-Yeah, yeah.

Sad to leave?

A bit, but I'm kind of looking forward

to being out in the real world.

So have you got anything lined up, then, for the future?

Yeah, I'm starting a graduate scheme in September,

-so pretty lucky.

-OK.

Now, Jess, what would you like to go for on this board of C-H-I words?

I know a few, but I think I'm going to go for the

light, transparent fabric,

which I think is chiffon.

Chiffon, says Jess. Let's see if chiffon's right.

Let's see how many people said chiffon.

There we are. It's right.

49 for chiffon.

Good start, Jess. Well played.

So it looks very delicate but surprisingly strong, chiffon.

-Really?

-Hm.

-I did not know that about chiffon.

There's a quality I didn't know. Goodness.

-A chiffon rope would hold your weight.

-No, would it?

-I don't know.

-They're not mine, ropes.

-Yeah, I would have thought so, yeah.

-Let's say yes.

-OK, good.

Let's say yes, and let's film it.

Done. We'll do it after the show.

Xander is about to dangle out of a helicopter.

Richard has made him a chiffon rope.

-Arrggghhhhh!

-Turns out I was wrong.

LAUGHTER

Phil, welcome back to Pointless. We saw you very briefly last time.

Great to have you back here. Remind us what you do, Phil.

I'm a civil servant, Alexander.

But we discovered last time you're still a keen football player.

Yeah, I try my best to take my aged limbs around a football pitch

-more often than I should.

-And is it a civil service game?

There are other civil servants who you play with.

Yeah, we tend to settle old scores

on the football pitch over lunchtime.

Which department seems to be at the top of the tree at the moment?

Well, you can always... You never trust the Inland Revenue, do you?

So, I didn't really say that.

THEY LAUGH

They always add 17.5% to their score,

that's the problem, isn't it?

Phil, what would you like to go for on this board?

There's two or three straightforward ones.

I'm going to play it fairly safe after last time

and get a score on the board, so I'm going to go for a fine white

or translucent ceramic material.

-I'll go for china.

-China, says Phil. Let's see if china's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said china.

It's right. Well, 49 is our only score so far.

64. There we are.

APPLAUSE

And so, there are some big scorers on this board,

as there quite often are on these rounds where we define things.

And china, obviously, just comes from China.

Porcelain from China, it used to be called. It was shortened to china.

There we are. Thank you much indeed, Richard.

Sarah, welcome back to Pointless.

-Head-to-headers, you and Joan, last time.

-That's right, yes.

-That was quite a long head-to-head round, that was. BOTH:

-It was, yes.

-Yeah. Now, Sarah, remind us what you do.

-I'm a literacies tutor.

Yeah, I teach groups and individuals in Glasgow.

That's right. And what do you like getting up to in your spare time?

Oh, I do quite a lot of things. I like running.

I like reading. I do a bit of family history.

I do a bit of creative writing.

I've just set up a genealogy service,

so I'm kind of concentrating on that at the moment.

You set it, you've had such fun doing your own...

Yeah, it started off as a hobby,

-and I'm hoping to work doing family history.

-Excellent.

I mean, it's great fun, that, isn't it? Always intriguing.

Now, Sarah, what would you like to go for on this board?

-SHE SIGHS

-Right.

I know four of them.

But I think three out of the four might be quite high.

So I'm going to go for one that's slightly risky.

I don't feel quite sure about it.

-I'm wondering if scold or rebuke might be chide.

-Chide.

-Yeah.

Chide, says Sarah. That sounds like a good one.

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said chide.

It's right. Now, 64 is our high score. You pass that.

49's our low score. You pass that. 47 for chide, well done.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Sarah, yeah.

So it comes from the 14th century, the word chide.

-Been around a long time.

-Hm.

-Hm.

-There we are. Joel, welcome back.

-Hello!

Remind us what you do.

I am in marketing for a motorsport events company.

Now that's fun. Where are you based?

We are based in Central London at the moment.

And then we travel all around the country to different

-car tracks to do the events themselves.

-Fabulous.

And so, what, that's a sort of weekly event you have?

I mean, the main championship we do is for students,

so it's generally within the university term.

So we all sort of finish before the universities go out for summer.

So at the moment, it's fairly quiet,

but it picks up again towards the end of the year.

I just can't... I have to say, I can't think of a more fun job.

-That must be enormously fun.

-It is, it's very exciting, yes.

Yeah, very good.

Joel, now, how are we feeling about these words starting C-H-I?

Similar to the others, there's a couple of easy ones,

and I'm going to take a bit of a risk to make sure we get,

hopefully, a fairly low score.

I'm going to go for the third one, the rodent, which is chinchilla.

Chinchilla, says Joel.

Now, let's see how far down the column we get with chinchilla.

It's right. 64 still our high score.

You passed that. 59 for chinchilla.

APPLAUSE

I was doing the thing that chinchilla might

go a bit lower than that.

Yeah, you'd have thought so, but...

Almost hunted to extinction, the chinchilla.

-Not any more now. It's much safer. Just because of their fur.

-I see.

There's... 13 of them went over to the United States,

not by themselves, were taken over to the United States,

and all chinchillas in captivity are descended from those 13 chinchillas.

-That's interesting.

-They're thriving in captivity, at least.

Now, everyone avoided the two obvious ones

and avoided the best answer as well.

So let's fill in the obvious ones first.

We will start with the bottom ones, shall we? Young human being.

-The answer to that is child.

-I think it's a child.

-..child, absolutely.

-86 points for that.

-14 people didn't know that.

Yeah, 14 people going, "Ah, it's a young human being.

-"A chi..."

-Is it chiswick?

-"Chimp, is it?"

And the protruding part of the face.

-I'm going to come out and say chin.

-Chin is the right answer.

You only need to put one letter on that one, don't you?

97 points for that. So, again, three people not getting it.

And the best answer is the top one.

Yeah, it is. Better known as the helicopter.

-Also known as a helicopter,

-Yeah, yeah, it is, the chinook.

-Chinook.

-There we are.

-And that would have scored 13 points,

so very well done if you said that.

Thank you, Richard. So we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

47, Sarah and Joan, very well done.

There you are at the top of the board.

Then 49 is where we find Jess and Pete, very well done.

59 is where we find Joel and Lucas.

64, Phil and Katie.

Once again, we can't be sending you home at the end of the first round.

I simply refuse to do that.

So, Katie we need a sort of chinook kind of answer from you, OK?

That's what we're depending on.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more definitions up on the board, and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Lucas.

-Hello.

-Welcome back. Good to have you here.

You're studying English Literature at Newcastle.

-That's right, that's right.

-And you've finished one year.

-Two years now.

-You've finished two years!

-Two years, yeah, yeah.

My, twice you've been round the course.

How is this last year going to be?

I mean, obviously we're looking ahead to it now.

But, yeah, no, I'm looking forward to getting back and seeing everyone.

Yeah, I love the course. It's a lot of fun.

Newcastle's a great place, so, yeah, I'm looking forward to going back.

Three trebles for £5. Is that what you said last time?

It's true. You should come up.

I don't understand where their margins are there, Lucas.

-Three trebles for a fiver?

-Yeah, I don't know. Lethal vodka.

-Probably paint stripper, who knows?

-Who knows? Lucas, you're on 59.

You're not the high-scorers.

If you could score 4 or less,

you'd avoid becoming the high-scorers yourselves.

What would you like to go for on this board?

I'm feeling about going for elegantly and stylishly fashionable

-so I'm going to say chic.

-Chic, says Lucas. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that with chic,

well, wouldn't that be great?

Let's see how many of our 100 people said chic.

It's right. Oh, ye, ye!

88, Lucas!

APPLAUSE

Chic takes your total

up to 147.

That's a... Yeah, that's a high score.

Yeah, well, another one where you only had to

fill in one letter, wasn't it?

It comes from German, schick, which means skill.

I somehow thought it was from French. I don't know why.

-Well, chic is French.

-Obviously it is.

But the word chic comes from schick.

I'm going to say it again. Wow. There we are.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Joan, welcome back to the show. Great to have you here.

Remind us what you like getting up to, Joan, in Glasgow.

Well, I do Pilates. I read masses and I play bridge.

Do you do contract bridge? Do you mean contract bridge? Yes.

-Contract bridge, yeah.

-With all the conventions.

-Yes.

-Aw. You have to, that takes a lot of getting used to.

-It does, actually.

-I'm not a games player at all, but I love it.

-Love bridge.

-Yeah.

Joan, what would you like to go for? If you can score 99 or less...

I think I know most of them, but it's finding the one.

I think the bottom one.

I'll go for chivalrous.

Chivalrous, says Joan. Chivalrous.

Here is your red line.

Look at that.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said chivalrous.

Very well done.

There we are.

48. Nice grouping.

47 for what Sarah scored.

95 is your total.

Very well played, yeah. Comes from the medieval chivalric code,

-the behaviour expected of knights.

-There we are. Yes.

-Thank you very much indeed. Katie.

-Hello.

-There we are, Katie.

Now, lovely to have you back. Remind us what you do, Katie.

I'm a history student at the University of Warwick.

Indeed you are. And also, you host a mid-morning show.

-Sorry, early morning.

-Early morning.

-An early morning show.

-What's the name of your radio station?

-It's Radio at Warwick.

-Radio at Warwick.

-Yeah, that's the radio station.

-Catchy.

That'll be at like the computer @, won't it?

-It will be, it will be.

-So modern.

-I know.

-Isn't it?

-So modern.

Remember that @ key never had anything to do

-for about 200 years, did it?

-Unless it was maths.

-I wish I'd bought shares in @.

-That...

That would have been brilliant.

Now, Katie, do you play music on the show?

Yeah, I play music and I have guests on

and I'm hoping to have a co-host as of September.

-Oh, you're looking for a co-host?

-Well, I have one.

-You have one.

I'm sorry, I should have told you this before, but...

-sometimes you get a better offer.

-From September?

-A big secret, yeah.

-Oh, you can't say who it is at this stage?

-Oh, no, no.

OK, that is very, very exciting.

-Well done!

-Thank you.

-That's great.

-I'm so excited.

-Good luck with that. RADIO VOICE:

-It's 8.07.

That's fine.

-RADIO VOICE: At Warwick.

-Yes.

There we go. Now, Katie, you're on 64.

-If you could score 82 or less...

-OK.

-..you're through.

-That's the dream.

-It's the dream.

-Um, I know a couple of them.

I'm just trying to decide which one will be the least.

But I think I'm going to go for the third one and say chickpea.

Chickpea. Chickpea, says Katie. Here's your red line.

Nice and high. Get below that with chickpea, and you're into Round Two.

Very well done.

-FATHER WHISPERS:

-Well done, you star!

APPLAUSE

40 takes your total up to 104.

Well played, Katie. Safely through there.

-Main ingredient of hummus.

-Mmm.

I don't like... Everyone likes hummus apart from me.

Do you know, I never like hummus until I've had a bit.

Do you know what I mean? You look at it and think,

"Hmm, do I feel like hummus?"

And you have a bit, maybe on a carrot.

And you eat it and you think, "Oh, I might have a bit more of that."

And before you know it, you've eaten all the hummus.

You have no sense of hummus. THEY LAUGH

That's very true. I might try it on a Twix.

THEY LAUGH

-That would do it. Thanks very much. Now then, Pete.

-Hi.

Welcome to the show. And what do you do, Pete?

I've also just graduated from Durham University.

What were you reading?

-Geology as well.

-Same as Jess. Which is where you met.

-It is, yeah.

-On the rocks. Aw.

-It was actually over a microscope so...

Oh, it's even more romantic!

Um, and what are you going to be doing now you've left Durham?

So I have been looking for jobs,

but unfortunately, they're a little bit hard to get now,

so I'm going to go off to Australia to coach some orienteering.

-For how long?

-For six months.

-Jess, how are we feeling about that?

It means I get to go on holiday to Australia, really, so...

That's very good news, Pete. Yes, exactly.

-So coaching orienteering?

-Yes.

So you are particularly good at orienteering, you must be.

-Yeah, I'm in the Great Britain squad for orienteering.

-Get out of town!

You're in the Great British squad for orienteering.

Exactly, I think that's amazing! Wow!

APPLAUSE

That's great fun!

I'd love to see the directions that were sent on for your job interview.

LAUGHTER

Aw, now, Pete, you're on 49.

The high-scorers over there on the far podium,

it's Joel and Lucas on 147, so 97 or less gets you through.

So, I've got answers to three of them,

and I've been racking my brains for the fourth.

You can talk through all your answers if you like.

I believe the top one is chilli.

And then I'm struggling with the second one.

And the one at the bottom is Chihuahua.

But I think I'm going to go for the middle one,

-the sharp series of bends, as chicane.

-Chicanes, OK.

Pete says, chicanes. Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

Get below that with chicanes, you're through to the next round.

Very well done indeed.

65 for chicanes

takes your total up to 114 and

-sees you into Round Two. Very well done.

-Well played, Peter.

You were right about the top one as well. It is chilli.

And chilli would have scored you 54. You're right about the dog as well.

Chihuahua. That would've scored you 50.

And it's funny how the brain works because you know all of them,

-but the second one's actually an obvious one. It's chief.

-Oh.

And it would have scored you 78 points.

So the best answer on that board is chickpea.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we're at the end of our first round, and I'm sorry to say...

Lucas and Joel, it was Round Two last time.

I was hoping that was you through to the head-to-head and beyond,

-instead of which it's Round One.

-Unfortunately.

-Yeah, very unfortunately. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

-It's all right.

It's been great having you on the show. We have to say goodbye.

Thanks so much, Lucas and Joel!

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

Well done, everyone. We've made it through to Round Two.

We've seen off one of our returning pairs as well.

Congratulations, Katie, our lowest individual score of the round.

Very well done. Our category for Round Two today is...

Swimming. Can you all decide in your pairs, who is going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Olympic gold medal winning swimmers since 1972, Richard.

Yeah, any man or woman who has won an Olympic gold in an individual

swimming event, please, all the way through from the 1972 Olympics

up to and including the 2012 Olympics.

-Thanks very much indeed. Pete.

-Yes, hello.

-Pete.

-I can only think of really big names

-so I'm going to have to go with Ian Thorpe.

-Ian Thorpe, says Pete.

Let's see if our 100 people agree with Pete. Ian Thorpe.

How many of our 100 said it?

It's right.

That's not a bad answer, Pete. 16. 16.

Good start to the round.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, five golds, five individual golds -

three in Sydney and two in Athens. Ian Thorpe, the Thorpedo.

The thorpedo, indeed. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Phil.

Yeah, there's probably a slight advantage in being a little

older than some of the others here

cos I can just about remember, I think it was the '76 Olympics.

I'm going to go for Scotsman David Wilkie.

David Wilkie, says Phil.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Come on, get down, get down.

16 is our only score at this point. You pass it.

8 for David Wilkie.

Well played, Phil.

Great answer, Phil. Yeah, 1976 in Montreal, as you say.

Thanks very much. Now then, Sarah.

Who would you like to go for?

I can't think of anything

that would be particularly low.

The only one that I can think of that I'm fairly sure would

have won a gold medal, is Duncan Goodhew.

Duncan Goodhew, says Sarah.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Duncan Goodhew.

Absolutely right.

Well, 16 and 8 are our scores at this point.

28 for Duncan Goodhew.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, won the 100m breaststroke in Moscow, Duncan Goodhew.

Just remains in the public's affection,

has done ever since, hasn't he?

He's one of those people that came into prominence and never went away.

Hmm. No. Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 8, well done, Phil and Katie.

This is a new Phil and Katie that we're seeing.

I think I might be about to ruin it.

Well, just don't ruin the illusion yet.

This is a new Phil and Katie. Very well done.

Keep this up and you'll be definitely,

definitely in the head-to-head.

Then up to 16 where we find Pete and Jess

and then up to 28, Sarah and Joan.

I mean, you're not way ahead, but, Joan, if you can think of a nice

low-scoring answer, that's what we need from you

to keep you in the game. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Joan. Remember we are looking for anyone who's won a gold medal

in an individual swimming event at the Olympics.

I really don't know. I'll just have to guess one, I think.

-Daley Thompson?

-Daley Thompson, says Joan.

Well, there's no red line for you as you are the high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Daley Thompson.

Ooh, I'm sorry, Joan.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points.

Takes your total up to 128.

Yeah, very, very few things that Daley Thompson can't do,

but winning swimming gold is one of them.

Thanks very much. Now, Katie.

-That's taken a bit of pressure off, hasn't it?

-Yeah, definitely.

-I don't think I know anything.

-Surely you know something!

Yeah, you'd hope.

I don't know if I'm just making this up,

but I'm going to say Michael Scholes.

Michael Scholes, says Katie.

No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see if Michael Scholes is right.

No, I'm afraid no Michael Scholes.

But scores you 100 points,

you're still through to the next round.

Yeah, and the good news is now you do know

-whether you're making it up or not.

-THEY LAUGH

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Jess.

We come to you once again. It doesn't matter what you score.

Yeah, and it's a good thing because I really can't think of anyone.

-I'm going to go for Tom Davidson.

-Tom...

-I don't know.

..Davidson, Tom Davidson.

No red line for you. You're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tom Davidson.

No, no Tom Davidson there.

It hasn't been an entirely successful second part of this

round, I have to say. Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 116.

It sort of petered out, that round, didn't it, slightly,

on the way back.

There's a few famous ones that people didn't mention.

Rebecca Adlington would have been a very good answer.

She would have scored you 31.

Mark Spitz, of course, would have scored you 27

and the most gold-medalled swimmer of all,

-Michael Phelps might have been who you were thinking of.

-Yeah.

He's got 18 gold medals in all, Michael Phelps.

Adrian Moorhouse would have been a good answer for

British swimming fans as well. It would have scored you 4.

Now let's take a look at the pointless answers.

You've got Aaron Peirsol. He's won five golds.

Evgueni Sadovyi, who won three golds in '92.

Inge de Bruijn. She won four golds.

Four golds in 1976 for Kornelia Ender.

Krisztina Egerszegi.

She got five golds. Four golds as well for Missy Franklin.

She won all four of those at the 2012 Olympics.

Big star at the 2012 Olympics, Missy Franklin.

Nathan Adrian won three golds.

Petra Schneider won gold in Moscow.

And Roland Matthes, a pointless answer as well.

-Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Wonderful.

Thank you, Richard.

Well, we're at the end of our second round, and I'm sorry to

say, it's another of our returning pairs we have to say goodbye to.

Joan and Sarah, head-to-head, you were, last time.

And this time, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye far too soon,

in my opinion. But it's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much, Joan and Sarah.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done, Phil and Katie, Pete and Jess.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for that jackpot which currently stands

at £9,000, for goodness' sake.

Yeah, this is all getting very, very tense now. Very, very tense.

Very exciting, obviously, but so much to win, possibly,

so much to lose, possibly. Yes, you know the story here.

You can start playing as a team from here on in.

You can chat before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be going through to the final

to play for that jackpot.

Well, Phil and Katie, Round One last time, we sent you off.

Here you are, our low-scorers,

low-scorers. David Wilkie, great move there

in that second round, Phil.

And Pete and Jess, first appearance on the show,

already through to the head-to-head.

Oh, it's getting very exciting indeed. Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here's your first question, and it concerns...

It's all about weeds, Richard.

I'll show you five pictures of plants now commonly

regarded as weeds in the UK.

We'll certainly give you the alternate letters of their name.

Can you tell us what they are, please?

OK, let's reveal our five weeds. And here they come. We've got...

There we are, five rather beautiful-looking weeds.

Phil and Katie, you are our low-scorers, so you will go first.

What do you think then, Katie? The only one I really know is dandelion.

Shall we play it safe in the first one?

Yeah, I think just play it safe.

I think just play it safe.

I've only got flowers in my garden, not a lot of weeds.

-So it's not a good category.

-Sorry, Phil, was that a boast?

-LAUGHTER

-It is well tended, yeah.

-OK.

Now, Phil, Katie, what is it you are going to go for?

We're going to play super safe

and go with the only one we know for certain.

I'm going to just say B, dandelions.

Wow, that is super, super, super safe.

Pete and Jess, talk us through that board.

I don't think we know many of the others, but there was one that we'll

take a stab in the dark at, and I think it was

mind your own business.

Oh, I'm sorry, OK. I'm sorry for asking.

OK, mind your own business, say Pete and Jess.

OK, now, Phil and Katie have gone for dandelions.

Let's see if that's right for B,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Dandelions is of course right, as you knew...

APPLAUSE

..and it scores 77.

Pete and Jess have gone for mind your own business for C.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people

said mind your own business.

It's right.

Unsurprisingly, it wins you the point.

Takes you down to 18.

Very well done indeed.

After one question, Pete and Jess, you are up, 1-0.

Yeah, very well played.

Were you tempted with any of the others, Phil and Katie?

I'd have guessed D

-at yarrow, maybe.

-Yarrow is absolutely right.

It wouldn't have won you the point because it's 25.

The other two you can work out.

-A is...

-Horsetail.

-Horsetail, yep.

9 points.

And E, you can work out

-cos you can work out that second word is bindweed.

-Very beautiful.

-It's bindweed. Field bindweed.

-Field bindweed.

And that's the best answer on the board, actually, 3 points.

-I like mind your own business being at...

-Yeah.

-That's good, isn't it?

There we are, I mean, mind your own business, what you can't get in

that photograph is the speed with which that

has just gone across there.

That was just bare lawn as the cameraman was setting it up.

-A furious horticulturist who's asked what the name of the weed was.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

-I tell you, it could have been worse.

-It could have been.

It certainly could have been. Thank you very much indeed.

OK, now, here comes your second question.

Phil and Katie, you have to win this one.

But they get to answer it first.

Best of luck with that. It concerns...

-The Piano, Richard.

-Yes, simply five clues now relating to the piano.

-Can you give us the most obscure answer?

-Thank you very much.

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

We have got...

Let me read those again.

Pete and Jess.

THEY WHISPER

So I think we're going to go for the actor who won an Oscar

in the film The Pianist, which I think is Adrien Brody.

Adrien Brody, say Pete and Jess. Adrien Brody.

Now, Phil and Kate. Talk us through that board.

I had an idea of Adrian Brody there, but that's obviously gone.

And the other ones that might challenge it, really struggling

with, so I think all we can do is Elton John for the first one.

I thought you were going to go for the bottom one and I was thinking...

-OK.

-We're not quite that desperate.

OK, you're going to go for Elton John at the top.

So we have Adrien Brody and we have Elton John.

Now, Pete and Jess said Adrien Brody for the actor

from The Pianist. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Adrien Brody.

It's right.

Ooh, look at that! 8 for Adrien Brody.

APPLAUSE

8 for Adrien Brody.

Phil and Katie, meanwhile, have gone for Elton John at the top there,

Pinball Wizard and I'm Still Standing.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Elton John.

It's right.

59.

59 for Elton John, which means, Pete and Jess,

after only two questions, you are through to the final.

Straight through, 2-0.

Adrien Brody was the best answer

on the board as well, so nothing you could have done against that.

The famous piano manufacturer?

Either Bechstein or Steinway, I'd have thought.

-Which one would you go for?

-Steinway.

Steinway is the right answer.

Built his first piano in his kitchen, called the kitchen piano.

20 points for that.

-The country from which the word piano originates.

-Italy.

Italy, absolutely.

Would have scored you 43,

and the colour given to the shorter keys?

Is it green? THEY LAUGH

Well, I'll tell you it's black, but what do you think it scored?

-I would hope, in the 90s. 98.

-I'll give you one up or one down.

-Oh, God, 99.

-76.

LAUGHTER

Wow. Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round.

Phil, what was your thinking there, going safe on the first one?

Well, I was rather hoping that our competitors wouldn't know

any of the other answers, cos I didn't for certain.

Oh, I see, I see. I understand.

Well, listen, I'm sorry, we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been wonderful having you on the show and it's been

delightful to see your progress through the show today,

to being our low-scorers there, and then watching you

hoof it off into the long grass there in that first round, Phil.

It's painful is all I can say. It's been lovely having you on.

I'm sorry that we're not seeing you through to the final

but thanks so much for playing, Phil and Katie.

APPLAUSE

But for Pete and Jess, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Pete and Jess.

You've seen off all the competition,

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Because you now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing

at £9,000. There we are.

APPLAUSE

Anything in particular you'd like to see

come up in this last round?

-Rocks.

-Yeah, geology would be a good one.

-Rocks. That would be good.

Surprisingly. I don't know what else, really.

Obscure countries, something like that, geography.

It could all be useful.

Let's see what today's selection of categories looks like. We've got...

Do you want to go for Pop Song Titles?

-I don't really know much horse racing...

-No, neither do I.

And I haven't seen many 1950s film musicals.

-I think we've got to go for...

-Do you want to go pop songs?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-OK.

-Pop Song Titles, please.

-Pop Song Titles, it is.

OK, very, very best of luck.

We are looking for any of the following, please.

We're looking for any act who've had a UK Top 40 single with

the word Monday in its title. We're just looking for the act.

We don't need the name of the song.

We're looking for any act who've had a UK Top 40 single with a

Friday in the title or with

a Sunday in the title.

That's all up to April 2015, please.

So any act who've had a UK Top 40

single with either Monday, Friday or

-Sunday in the title.

-OK, now there you are.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with

three answers and all you need to win that jackpot is for

just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-There is like Sunday Morning and...

-Who's that by?

Sunday Bloody Sunday is U2, that's going to be really high.

-And then, um, the single...

-Is there like a Black Friday by...?

Who does...? Who's that...? Aw, I can't remember.

Oh, um, the single...

-Friday I'm In Love is by The Cure.

-The Cure, yeah, that's one.

-There's Blue Monday. Do you know who that's by?

-No. Is there a...?

Who is this Sunday Morning by? Sunday Morning.

My housemates play it in the house all the time.

I don't know.

We've got U2, we've got The Cure. We just need one more,

-even though they're not going to be pointless.

-Ten seconds left.

It's like slow, jazzy, kind of that sort of way. That genre.

-Um...

-I don't know, Marvin Gaye?

-Yeah.

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

-I'm sorry that minute's never long enough.

-No.

What are you going to give me?

-And if you say which category you're answering.

-OK, so the act,

-with Friday we're going to go with The Cure.

-The Cure.

-Then for Sunday, we're going to go for U2.

-U2.

And Monday, Marvin Gaye.

Marvin Gaye for Monday. OK, now, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-The Cure.

-The Cure goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Marvin Gaye.

Marvin Gaye, we'll put first. OK.

Let's put those up on the board in that order then,

and here they are.

We have got Marvin Gaye, we've got U2 and we've got The Cure.

Well, very, very best of luck.

You've come up with three answers there.

If you were to win that jackpot of £9,000, what would you do with it?

I would quite like to go travelling round the world.

Yeah, and Pete's moving to Australia,

so I'll go and visit him with it.

He's not moving to Australia, Jess. He's only visiting Australia.

He's only going to be there for six months. We have to remember that.

And the one thing we know about him

-is that he'll be able to find his way home.

-Yes, that's true.

OK, well, very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Marvin Gaye.

In this case we were looking for songs with the word Monday

in their title. Let's find out. Is it right? Is it pointless?

If it's both of those things, you will win £9,000.

How many people said Marvin Gaye?

No, I'm afraid not Marvin Gaye.

An incorrect answer there, which means you only have two more

shots at today's jackpot. Your next answer was U2.

In this case, we were looking for acts that have had hits in the

UK Top 40 with the word Sunday in their title.

Let's find out, for £9,000, how many people said U2.

-Ooh!

-Ooh, OK.

-We will discover why that is an incorrect answer.

There will be a very good reason for that. Which means you only

have one more shot, I'm afraid, at today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on The Cure.

In this case, we were looking for UK Top 40 hits with the word

Friday in their title.

Let's find out, for £9,000, how many people said The Cure.

It's right.

Your first answer, Marvin Gaye, was incorrect.

Your second answer, U2,

turned out to be incorrect as well

but The Cure is absolutely right.

Down we go. Ooh!

I'm sorry. 10.

APPLAUSE

Pete, Jess, I'm so sorry.

I'm afraid, yes, that just turned out to be a

really tough category, that one.

I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that pointless answer, though,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £9,000.

That will roll over onto the next show,

but we've enjoyed having you on.

It's been brilliant having you on the show and you've done so well.

And you get a Pointless trophy each to take home, so there we are.

Well done, Pete and Jess.

APPLAUSE

They played so well, saw off three returning pairs as well,

so very impressive performance.

I'm sorry the jackpot round was not to your liking.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

We'll start with Monday. Duran Duran,

New Moon On Monday was a pointless answer. Fats Domino, Blue Monday.

Now, Rialto, proper Britpop and indie fans will remember them,

5.19, Monday Morning.

And The Candyskins who had a hit with Monday Morning.

Let's take a look at Friday.

911 had a hit with Party People - Friday night.

It passed me by, I have to say. Dubstar, I - Friday Night.

Pointless answer. Friday Street, Paul Weller.

And Shed Seven, She Left Me On Friday,

pointless answer, another one for the indie fans there.

Also we could have had Gary Moore, Daniel Bellingfield,

R Kelly and Lisa Moorish. Well done if you said any of those.

And Sunday now.

Blur, who had a hit with Sunday Sunday, which is really

pushing the point. Daniel Boone had a hit with Beautiful Sunday.

Lots of people would have got Oasis, Sunday Morning Call.

And the Small Faces, Lazy Sunday, was a pointless answer.

Again, lots of people would have got that.

Sunday Bloody Sunday, by the way,

by U2, was never released as a single.

So it wasn't a Top 40 hit, I'm afraid.

A few other answers, Erasure, Finley Quaye, and The Monkees -

Pleasant Valley Sunday - also a pointless answer.

Well done if you said that.

I think the song you were thinking about Sunday Morning was

Velvet Underground, but never a single and

wouldn't have been pointless, I suspect.

Ah, there we go.

Unfortunately, Pete and Jess, we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been wonderful having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing and being so good. Pete and Jess!

APPLAUSE

Well, I'm afraid Pete and Jess didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show,

when we will be playing for £10,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.