Episode 43 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

I'm Joe from Birmingham, this is Krish from Nottingham,

and we're acquaintances from Durham University.

Couple number two.

I'm Robb and this is my wife Ruth and we're from Halifax.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Sarah and this is my husband Martin and we're both from Runcorn.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Ben and this is my mate Jeremy and we're from Glasgow.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Honk if you love trivia.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-How are you this afternoon?

-I'm very well.

-What a lovely show last time.

-Wasn't that good?

-Very high quality. A lot of pointless answers.

-Yes.

Joe and Krish were with us. They were there for Round Two -

an incredible round on chemical elements.

Two pointless answers in that round,

so terrific stuff all the way through the show.

Three brand-new pairs. Welcome to you all on today's show.

-So, shall we do it?

-I think we should.

-What do you say?

-If not now, when?

-What would happen if we just didn't do it?

We could just chat. We could always just chat.

-That's roughly what we do anyway, isn't it?

-Pretty much.

You know sometimes, on EastEnders, they would have those long episodes

-where it was just Dot and Ethel chatting?

-Yes.

-It was like a little two-hander?

-Yeah.

-Bit like that.

-Did you ever see that?

-Just be us. Just us in a cafe.

-That is a... Oh!

I could do some drinking acting, you know.

You are Britain's leading drinking actor.

Mm, it's quite hot. LAUGHTER

-Oh, I'll pop that there.

-Oh, that was so good!

-You've got, like, a high table.

-You should see what I've got round here!

LAUGHTER

Now, Corinna and Ben won the jackpot last time.

That's basically what we were saying all the way back there.

So, today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is this - the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That is it. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Honours. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so, our question concerns...

2015 Birthday Honours. Richard?

We are going to show you a picture now of 15 people

who were honoured in the 2015 Queen's Birthday Honours list.

Can you identify the most obscure of these 15, please?

OK, so, that image will go up, 15 people on it.

It will stay the same the whole way through the round.

We won't be changing it halfway through, OK?

Best of luck. Here is that image.

So, who are all these people who were honoured in 2015?

Now, Joe, welcome back.

Now, I noticed you introduced Krish as acquaintances.

What's happened? Have you fallen out since last time? Was it Round Two?

I'm just sick of the sight of him, to be honest with you.

So, Joe, remind us what you do.

-I'm a trainee solicitor.

-A trainee solicitor.

-Yeah.

What's your particular area of law? What do you specialise in?

-Dispute resolution.

-Oh, the best kind.

-Yeah.

Do you think you'll be able to bring some of your training

to bear with Krish on the journey home?

Well, we've got a couple of hours in the car,

-so we'll see what we can do.

-OK, very good.

Now, Joe, you're the first person to answer from this board of faces.

Who would you like to go for?

Erm...

..I'm going to go for Lenny Henry.

Lenny Henry, says Joe.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lenny Henry.

It's right.

68 for Lenny Henry.

APPLAUSE

-Yeah, a knighthood for services to drama and charity.

-There we are.

Robb, welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here from Halifax.

-Yeah.

What do you do, Robb?

I am the vicar of Mixenden and Illingworth in North Halifax.

That's slightly surprising.

I wouldn't have said... LAUGHTER

I wouldn't have put you down as a vicar.

I was going to say I'd have you down as a vicar,

-but maybe a southern parish.

-Yes. LAUGHTER

-Looks every inch the vicar.

-Yes.

-What style of vicar are you, Robb?

-We're a bit eclectic, really.

-OK.

We have a very, very Anglo-Catholic service, which is the rock mass,

but that doesn't look like you'd expect it to.

Now, Robb, I'm now thinking, "Yes, this is exactly right.

"I now see you. I see you there."

-Do you wear a dog collar?

-I do wear a dog collar.

-With studs?

-No.

-LAUGHTER

Very stereotypically normal dog collar, actually.

I usually wear pretty much what I'm wearing now with it.

Do you ever body-surf? Throw yourself out into the congregation?

I could imagine landing on one of the churchwardens

at the front of church trying to do that from the stage.

-It probably wouldn't go so well.

-OK. LAUGHTER

Now, Robb, what would you like to go for?

I think I'm going to have to play it safe and go for Martin Clunes.

You're going to go for Martin Clunes.

Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said Martin Clunes.

It's right.

68's the high score.

You pass it. 51 for Martin Clunes. APPLAUSE

Yeah, an OBE, but also for drama and charity,

-and services to the community in Dorset, as well.

-Ah.

-Sarah, welcome to Pointless.

-Hi, thank you.

-Lovely to have you here from Runcorn.

-Yes.

-Now, what do you do, Sarah, in Runcorn?

-I work in an ice rink.

I serve hot and cold food and drink.

-Do you skate at all yourself?

-Only on my backside.

-I see.

-Not tempted to get out after closing?

-No way. No.

I'm lucky - when I start shift,

I can catch a glimpse of all the skaters

and it is really lovely to watch.

Now, Sarah, what would you like to go for on this board?

I'll be honest, I don't know that many,

so I will have to go for...

I'm just hoping it's right. Joey Essex.

-If that's him.

-Joey Essex.

OK, well, let's find out. Joey...Essex?

LAUGHTER

-Oh, never mind.

-Oh!

-I'm afraid not.

-Never mind. Must be his twin.

I'm afraid not. I mean, it could...

I would be delighted if he had been honoured.

It would be different, wouldn't it?

I was just thinking what he's yet done...

Well, I think, due to an administrative error,

Joey Essex was not knighted in the Queen...

-You know what? Next time, surely.

-Next time. For services to Essex.

-LAUGHTER

-Lord Joey of Essex.

-There we go.

-Now then, now then, Jeremy.

-Hi.

A warm welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here. From Glasgow?

-Yeah, that's right.

-And what do you do, Jeremy?

-I'm a civil servant.

Are you a civil servant of the kind I can ask about

-or are you one that I...?

-Yeah, you can.

-What branch of the civil service?

-I work at Ofgem.

-Oh, that's nice.

-Jeremy, what are your hobbies?

-So, I like to rock climb and cycle.

Would you go to a rock mass, Jeremy?

I know rock climbing is a different kind of rock, but...

I mean, it doesn't necessarily need to be.

You could put a climbing wall in, make it both kind of rock.

You could, and do rock climbing/mass at the same time.

Health and safety nightmare.

Not with some of the clips you can get these days.

-HE LAUGHS Erm, Jeremy...

-Yeah.

..what would you like to go for from our gallery here?

I'm trying to choose between two of them.

Both a bit risky, I think,

but I'm going to go for the chap on the top row.

I think his name's Simon Hughes.

Simon Hughes, says Jeremy. Let's see if Simon Hughes is right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Simon Hughes.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Simon Hughes scores you 9.

Very well done indeed, Jeremy.

Great answer. Yeah, the former Lib Dem MP.

-Now Sir Simon Hughes.

-There we are.

We're halfway through the round. Let's see how everyone is doing.

9 the best score of that pass, Jeremy. Very well done

indeed. Jeremy and Ben looking very strong.

Particularly strong, considering your nearest rival, Robb and Ruth -

51, and then 68's where we find Joe and Krish

and then up to 100 - Sarah and Martin.

Joey Essex, I'm afraid, letting you down,

as he so often will. LAUGHTER

Martin, we need a low score from you. Good luck.

We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-OK, now, Ben, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Ben?

I own and run a couple of burger restaurants up in Scotland.

How long have you been doing the restaurant?

I've been working in restaurants since I left school.

-But they're yours, these ones?

-Yeah, they've been mine for two years.

And are you looking to expand all the time, looking for new premises?

Maybe not all the time. Two is quite hard work as it is,

but you never know. If the right opportunity comes up...

I suppose that's always the difficulty -

you then have to recruit lots of people.

-You need to get a lot more beef, as well.

-Yeah, a lot more beef.

Yes, there is that. Ben, what...? LAUGHTER

What would you like to go for, Ben?

There is a couple that I know,

but given my love of food and drink,

I think I'll go bottom left and say Loyd Grossman.

Loyd Grossman, says Ben.

Now, if you can get below this red line,

which represents a score of 90, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Loyd Grossman.

It's good. It's right.

Sees you through.

APPLAUSE

29 takes your total up to 38. Very well done.

Yeah, a CBE for services to heritage.

Loyd Grossman is the chairman of The Churches Conservation Trust...

-Oh, so he is. That's right.

-..and various other things.

-Now, Martin.

Martin, welcome to Pointless.

-What do you do in Runcorn?

-I work in IT support.

-And what are your hobbies?

-I coach and play wheelchair rugby.

Wheelchair rugby. Where do you coach that? In Runcorn?

Liverpool, and I also coach the England national union team.

-Wow. How long have you been doing that?

-Two years.

That's amazing. How are they doing? How is our national side?

-In union, we are world number one.

-Are we really? What about that?

It is...

Martin, that is incredible.

It has a reputation, wheelchair rugby,

for being about the most vicious sport in the world. Is that unfair?

-It's one of them, yeah. It is.

-LAUGHTER

It's pretty full-on. It really is.

-So, a high injury rate?

-Surprisingly not.

-Blisters is about your...

-Blisters.

-Blisters.

-I can believe that.

Well, Martin, it's lovely to have you here.

What would you like to go for? You are still the high-scorers.

I recognise a few faces,

but I've a feeling we're going to be in the 200 Club.

The only one I think looks like her is...

Is that Pippa Middleton in the middle?

Pippa Middleton? Well, we will find out.

Pippa Middleton and Joey Essex. I wonder...

They could have gone together to the ceremony, I suppose.

Let's find out. Pippa Middleton, is it right?

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

No red line for you as you're the high-scorers.

Ooh, I'm afraid not.

Pippa Middleton scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 200, sorry.

And, again, even with her connections,

-she can't get on that list.

-I know, I know.

-There we go. Now, Ruth.

-Hi.

Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Ruth?

-I'm a clinical psychologist.

-Right, I see.

And are you involved in the church, as well, at all?

Yes, I play bass guitar and sing at the rock mass.

Do you get any solos at all?

Don't get so many bass solos, really,

-but I'm the lead singer, so...

-Well, that's fun.

-Yeah.

Sometimes, bass guitarists can be quite grumpy because they get

hidden in the mix and they're always turning themselves up.

-That's why I married the guitarist.

-I see, very clever.

And deftly became the lead singer.

Very, very smart. LAUGHTER

Now, what would you like to go for?

-The good news is you are through, doesn't matter what you score.

-Yes.

But there's a chance here to dazzle us.

Celebrity is not really my strong point,

but I think I recognise Benedict Cumberbatch.

Benedict Cumberbatch.

OK, no red line for you as you're already through, but let's see

how far down the column we get with Benedict Cumberbatch.

It's right.

56... APPLAUSE

..takes your total up to 107.

Yeah, a CBE for performing arts and charity. Benedict Cumberbatch.

-There we are. Now, Krish...

-Hello.

-..welcome back.

-Remind us what you do.

-I'm an accountant from Nottingham.

And your interests, Krish?

Sport, football, which I watch and play badly,

-golf, which I watch and play worse.

-LAUGHTER

I want to watch wheelchair rugby union.

That's going to be an amazing spectator sport, isn't it?

Have you ever watched it?

I watched it when it was on at the Olympics, just on TV,

and you're flinching throughout as the chairs, like, bash together.

Yes, exactly. Well, it's a sport for us to support, I think.

Now, Krish, you're the last person to answer here,

so if you want to do a bit of a mop up,

you'd be more than welcome to, with the lovely proviso

that you are already through, doesn't matter what you score.

Off the middle row, as a sports fan,

I see Jonny Wilkinson and Frank Lampard.

And there's another one that I might have gone for.

Second from top row - something like Tim Mitchell, maybe.

Or bottom right, I think that's Eddie Redmayne.

You're going to go for Eddie Redmayne?

No red line, you're already through. How many people said Eddie Redmayne?

It's right.

17. APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed. 85

is your total.

-Very surprisingly low score for Eddie Redmayne.

-It is, yeah.

Especially as he won the Oscar and what have you,

but maybe the photo, I don't know.

Was that Joey Essex?

-Was he the Joey Essex stand-in?

-Yeah.

-Bottom right?

Yeah, he was. He must be his twin!

Oh, Eddie Redmayne's sitting at home watching this, going, "Wait, what?"

-LAUGHTER

-I apologise.

Now, let's go through all of these.

The top left - 1 point, that's Will Pooley,

the nurse who was treating Ebola patients in Sierra Leone.

Contracted Ebola, came back to the UK, was cured of it,

went straight back out there to look after them again

and got an MBE for that.

Next to Simon Hughes is Philippa Langley,

who was the historian who was involved

in the whole Richard III thing and getting him exhumed.

She was a pointless answer. Very well done if you said her.

Lesley Manville, the actor, is next. 2 points for that.

Then Van Morrison, 19 points.

Second row, you're right about Jonny Wilkinson - 25 points.

Then Caroline Criado-Perez, who successfully lobbied to have

females on British banknotes. She's also a pointless answer.

Frank Lampard - 40 points.

Jo Pavey in the middle row there, the wonderful athlete.

She would have scored you 4 points.

And the bottom row, there's only one we haven't had

-and that is...

-That is Michael Ball.

Lovely Michael Ball, who would have scored you 31 points.

Thank you very much. So, at the end of our first round,

the pair we have to say goodbye to, our newest members of the 200 Club,

I'm so sorry, Sarah and Martin.

The good news is we'll see you again next time.

I'm sure you'll go much further. In the meantime,

thank you very much for playing, Sarah and Martin.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, look at that. We're all in Round Two. Round Two!

Very well done. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

There we are. Military History.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first in Military History

please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Famous Battles, Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you descriptions

of six famous battles. Also show you the year they took place in,

and we'll give you their initial, as well.

They're all the Battle of Somewhere but where are they the battle of?

There'll be 12 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, which are these famous battles?

Our first board reads like this.

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Krish?

This is exactly the board I didn't want to come up.

I'm really not comfortable with really any of them.

Going to have to go for the only one I can take a stab at.

1066 and Hastings.

OK, Krish is going for Hastings. Let's see if it's right

and how many of our 100 people said Hastings.

It's right.

48! APPLAUSE

48 for Hastings,

-1066.

-I know.

Get ready for more of that sort of thing in this round,

-I tell you.

-Wow. There we go. Goodness gracious me.

Eh, Ruth? What about that?

-48?

-I know. You'd think more people would know that.

Yeah. Ruth's got a good answer, I think.

-No, cos that's the only one I knew.

-Oh, is it?

I'm going to take a stab at 1314, the Battle of the Boyne.

Battle of the Boyne, says Ruth. OK, let's see if that's right.

Let's see if that's right.

Ooh, I'm afraid not the Battle of the Boyne, that one.

A different B. Scores you 100 points.

Afraid not. I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Jeremy.

Jeremy, that board's all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it and fill in all those blanks?

I think the top one's Troy.

I think... 1314, I think's Bannockburn.

I should know the Americas one, but I don't know what it is.

Last one, I would guess is East Africa

cos I think Egypt's in East Africa.

But I'll go for Bannockburn, being Scottish,

-and hope to God it's right.

-You're going to go with Bannockburn?

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bannockburn.

It's right.

27. APPLAUSE

27 for Bannockburn.

I know. Again, there's lots of low scores there.

Surprisingly low scores in this round.

But Bannockburn - good answer, Jeremy.

-Now, the top one, it's not Troy.

-Thebes.

-It's not Thebes. It's Thermopylae.

-Oh, of course it is.

Thermopylae would have scored you 7 points.

General George Custer, it's Little Something.

-Little Bighorn.

-Little Bighorn would have scored 25.

-The Denmark, west of Denmark...?

-Is that Jutland?

-It is Jutland, yes.

Big scorer, actually. Our 100 did rather well on that one. 40 points.

-And the Egypt one...

-El Alamein.

-..is El Alamein.

That would have scored 18 points.

There we are. Thanks. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 27.

Well done, Jeremy and Ben. There we are. 27 - a good, low score.

Then up to 48 where we find Krish and Joe.

Then up to 100, Ruth and Robb.

Robb, let's have a low score from you on the next pass.

Maybe that'll keep you in the game. We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more battle clues up on the board,

and here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

Ben.

There's two that I think I might know,

but both are a bit of a stab in the dark.

I will go with the German 6th Army when they had to surrender,

-and go Stalingrad.

-Stalingrad, says Ben.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

Get below the red line, you're into the head-to-head.

It's right.

And you are through.

32 for Stalingrad. APPLAUSE

59, your total.

One of the really big turning points of World War II.

Thank you, Richard.

-Robb.

-Not my specialty at all.

I think I know two of them,

but one of them, I reckon, is the highest score on the board,

so I'm going to go for top and go the Battle of Agincourt.

Agincourt. Agincourt, says Robb.

No red line, you're the high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Agincourt.

It's right.

16 for Agincourt. APPLAUSE

116 is your total.

You might have kept yourself in the game there, Robb.

Yeah, well played, Robb. Battle of Agincourt.

-It's another low score.

-Isn't it?

-Don't you think? It's quite a famous one.

-It is.

Now, Joe.

-Yeah, struggling.

-Talk us through the board.

The only one I knew was the bottom one, Stalingrad,

so I've got absolutely no idea on the rest,

so it could be good night from us.

I'll just go for the B, Bengal. No idea.

OK, Bengal in the Crimea. OK.

There's your red line. You have to get below that red line.

Let's see if Bengal is right.

No, I'm afraid not.

That scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 148.

-Yeah, the Crimea answer is...

-Balaclava.

-..Balaclava. Yeah.

That would have scored you 24 points.

Now, the one above that,

again, you'd think 100 people would know it, but they didn't.

-Waterloo.

-Waterloo.

That would score 47 points. I know!

The one above it is actually a tough answer. Do you know that one?

-I don't know that one.

-It's Plassey.

-No.

-Very well done if you said that.

-And the Pennsylvanian town?

-Gettysburg.

-Gettysburg, yeah.

And that would have scored you 30.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we're saying goodbye to,

and I'm afraid, this time, it really is goodbye, Joe and Krish.

148, I'm afraid the highest score.

It's been great having you on the show, but thanks very much.

Joe and Krish.

But for Jeremy and Ben, and Robb and Ruth,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, Jeremy and Ben, Robb and Ruth.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

our jackpot, which is still standing at £1,000.

But this is the fun bit, the bit where you start playing as a team.

You can chat before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

You've seen off our only returning pair.

This is good going, so this should be quite exciting.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here's your first question, and it's all about...

Eddie Murphy Films, Richard.

We're going to show you five images taken from Eddie Murphy films.

Can you tell us the most obscure of these, please?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five stills, and here they are...

There we are. Five Eddie Murphy films.

Jeremy and Ben, you're our low scorers, so you'll go first.

Feel free to confer.

-WHISPERS:

-Trading Places is B.

C is Dr Doolittle.

E is that one with the...

Daddy Day Care, isn't it?

Erm, so, we're sure on two of them.

One, we think could be quite low,

but we're not actually sure

of that answer,

so we'll go for B, Trading Places.

Trading Places, say Jeremy and Ben. Trading Places.

Now, Robb and Ruth, that board's all yours. Talk us through it.

We reckon we know three of them,

which is, A is Coming To America,

B is Trading Places,

C is Dr Doolittle

and D and E, I've no idea.

-Are we going to go with A?

-A, yeah.

-Coming To America.

OK, A, Coming To America.

We have Trading Places and Coming To America.

Jeremy and Ben said Trading Places for B.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

27. APPLAUSE

27 for Trading Places.

Now, Robb and Ruth have gone for Coming To America for A.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Coming To America.

It's right.

41 for Coming To America. APPLAUSE

So, well done, Jeremy and Ben. You chose well.

After one question, you're up one-nil.

Yeah, and Dr Doolittle wouldn't have saved you either

cos it would have scored you 55 points.

The lowest score of all is D, which is The Haunted Mansion.

That would have scored you 5 points.

And E, 20 people knew it was...

-Daddy Day Care.

-..Daddy Day Care.

As I say, scores 20 points.

There we are. Thank you very much.

Here comes your second question, Robb and Ruth.

You get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

It concerns...

Songs Which Contain The Word Fly, Richard.

We'll show you the names of five top 40 hits now, all of which

contain the word fly and the year in which they were a hit.

You need to tell us which act had a hit with it, please.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our five fly songs, and here they are...

I'll read those all again.

Robb and Ruth will go first.

-WHISPERS:

-I think we've got to go for The Offspring.

THEY WHISPER

I think it's our best shot.

We're going to go for Pretty Fly For A White Guy

is The Offspring.

The Offspring, say Robb and Ruth. The Offspring.

Jeremy and Ben, talk us through the other songs.

Learn To Fly, we think is Foo Fighters.

I Believe I Can Fly - R Kelly.

And Flying Without Wings

we think is Westlife.

I think we'll go for Learn To Fly and Foo Fighters.

OK, Foo Fighters, say Jeremy and Ben.

So, we have The Offspring and we have Foo Fighters.

Robb and Ruth went for The Offspring.

Let's see if that's right

for Pretty Fly For A White Guy. How may people said it?

It's right.

Look at that! APPLAUSE

8 for The Offspring.

Jeremy and Ben, meanwhile, have gone for Foo Fighters.

Let's see if that's right for Learn To Fly.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

I think this is going to be close.

Oh, it is. Look at that. 12!

APPLAUSE 12 for Foo Fighters.

A good answer. Lovely, low score, but it doesn't beat The Offspring.

Well done, Robb and Ruth. Back in the game. It's one-all.

Two of the best three answers on the board.

The best answer of all is I'll Fly For You from 1984.

-It's Spandau Ballet.

-It's Spandau Ballet, yeah.

It would have scored you 5.

-I Believe I Can Fly is R Kelly.

-Do you know, he can't?

-LAUGHTER

-21. But he believes he can.

I know, but I've seen him try to demonstrate, and I can say,

unequivocally, he can't.

-He can't, but he believes he can.

-Yes.

-And that's the key.

-That's the key.

And also, another thing you mustn't do...

LAUGHTER

With all respect in the world to Westlife -

great guys, I'm sure,

and they do a great many good things...

I'm surprised they don't have knighthoods and all sorts of things.

..but you cannot, you must not, you should not fly without wings.

You can't do it.

35 points for that.

Both of those bottom two, please, please do not try at home.

-LAUGHTER

-The top one is the best thing

you can do educationally to disprove the bottom two.

As soon as you get the first one under your belt,

the bottom two go, "That's fine, I can't."

But until you do the first one, people don't know sometimes.

Exactly. Thank you very much indeed. Now, here comes our third question.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. It concerns...

Animals Of The Night.

We're going to show you five largely nocturnal animals now,

but in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and tell us what they are, please?

Let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they come...

I'll read those all one last time.

Jeremy and Ben will go first.

-WHISPERS:

-The top one is coyote.

The bottom one is porcupine.

So, I think we know four of them.

It's trying to figure out which one is going to be the most obscure.

I think we'll go for the second top one and say loris.

Loris. Loris, say Jeremy and Ben. Loris.

Now, Robb and Ruth, talk us through the rest of that board.

I think the first one's coyote.

Then loris, raccoon, wombat

and I can't figure out the bottom one.

So, I think I'm going to go for coyote.

Coyote. So, we have loris and coyote.

Jeremy and Ben went for loris.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said loris.

It's right.

20. APPLAUSE

20 for loris.

Now, Robb and Ruth have gone for coyote at the top there.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

54. APPLAUSE

-Well played, guys.

-Very well done, Jeremy and Ben.

After three questions, you're through to the final two-one.

Very well played. It's the best answer on the board - loris.

The anagram's not complicated, but the animal itself

is quite obscure, so very, very well played.

Coco ran?

-Is raccoon.

-Raccoon. Would have scored 58.

The biggest scorer on the board is mat bow, which is wombat.

71 points. And not a bad answer,

this bottom one.

Have you got that one?

-Porcupine.

-Ah, it's a porcupine.

-Exactly right.

-Very well done.

-That would have scored 28 points.

-Porcupine.

There we go. Thank you.

So, at the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid the pair we're sending home is Robb and Ruth.

We're saying goodbye, but not for long.

We'll see you again next time. We look forward to that,

but in the meantime, thanks very much, Robb and Ruth.

But for Jeremy and Ben, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Very, very well done, Jeremy and Ben.

You've seen off all the competition.

You have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to play for our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

Well, strong performance throughout.

Lovely, low scoring. Let's see what's up on the board.

Let's hope there's something you like the look of.

Today's selection reads like this...

I studied in Leeds, but I'm really worried now because, I mean,

I didn't go to see any sport when I was there, for some reason.

-I don't know a lot about diamonds.

-I know nothing about diamonds.

Or '50s film musicals.

-I think it's going to have to be Sport In Leeds.

-Yeah.

-Sport In Leeds it is. Richard.

-OK, very best of luck.

Here are your three questions.

We are looking for anyone who has an acting credit in the 2009 film

Damned United.

We're looking for anyone who played in Yorkshire's

County Championship cricket winning side of 2014.

Or we're looking for anyone who played in the Leeds United

title-winning football side of 1991-1992.

So, cast of The Damned United according to IMDb,

any cricketer who played in that Yorkshire side of 2014

or any footballer who played in the Leeds United side of '91/'92.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers. All you need to win that jackpot

is for one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready? BOTH:

-Yeah.

-OK.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

So, Yorkshire - the England boys who play in that Yorkshire team.

Isn't that Jonny Bairstow? And Adam Lyth does, as well.

Actually, Joe Root plays for Yorkshire, but he's quite obvious.

The cast of Damned United, I can't remember. Leeds United season...

Spink. Nigel Spink, I think, played in goal.

David Batty.

Noel Whelan did play at Coventry for a while,

but if he was there, then it's a really good one.

-Gary Speed.

-Oh, yeah. He'll be quite well known.

-Gary McAllister, Eric Cantona.

-So, shall we do one from Yorkshire?

Well, two from the Yorkshire team

or one from Leeds or the other way round?

I think Bairstow and Lyth might be good.

-And then what was the one you said that was risky?

-Noel Whelan.

-That's quite a risk.

-Who's the other one you said before him?

-Ten seconds left.

-Gary Speed, Gary McAllister.

The ones before. The guy in goal. Spink?

Yeah, but I'm not sure that's right. It might be Nigel Martyn.

-I think Noel Whelan.

-OK.

OK, that's your time up. Let's have your three answers.

For the second category, we'll do Jonny Bairstow and Adam Lyth.

-Jonny Bairstow, Adam Lyth.

-You do the...

-And for Leeds United title winners, we'll go Noel Whelan.

-Noel Whelan.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Noel Whelan?

-Noel Whelan goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-BOTH:

-Jonny Bairstow.

-Bairstow, we'll put first.

Let's put those up on the board in that order, and here they are...

Well, very best of luck. Three good answers on the board there.

If one of those is pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

What would you do with that? Jeremy, you first.

Well, we said if we won £1,000,

we'd go into London and get a proper slap-up meal and blow a lot of it.

That sounds like a good plan. LAUGHTER

Yeah. Ben, anything you want to add to that?

Yeah, a good night out would be good, but I'd keep some back.

-Maybe a nice bottle of whiskey when I get home.

-OK, best of luck.

Three good answers on the board.

Your first answer was Jonny Bairstow.

In this case, we were looking for Yorkshire's

CCC-winning team from 2014.

If this is pointless, it will win you £1,000.

How many of our 100 people said Jonny Bairstow?

It's right.

All it has to be now is pointless. If Jonny Bairstow

can take us all the way down to 0,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Jonny Bairstow going into single figures.

Down he goes. Still going down. 5.

SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE

Not a bad score.

Sadly, though, not a pointless answer,

which means you have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Adam Lyth.

Again, we were looking for team members of Yorkshire's

CCC-winning team from 2014.

If this is pointless, Adam Lyth will win you £1,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Adam Lyth.

It's right.

Jonny Bairstow took us all the way down to 5.

Adam Lyth now takes us down through the 20s,

into the teens,

into single figures. Down we go, passing...

Now it's all on me.

OK, 5 for Bairstow, 4 for Lyth.

This is all moving in the right direction,

but you have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Your third and final answer,

your most confident shot at a pointless answer was Noel Whelan.

In this case, we were looking for Leeds United's

title-winning team from '91-'92 season.

If Noel Whelan is right and it is pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Noel Whelan.

-Sorry.

-Bad luck.

Well, you knew you were taking a bit of a punt there.

You weren't entirely sure about Noel Whelan.

But if it had been right, it would have been a brilliant answer.

We won the trophy.

There we are. Listen, you HAVE won the trophy.

You haven't found that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000. That rolls over.

But it's been fabulous having you on the show.

Really, really good to have you here.

All the way through the show, great answers, so, well done.

Yeah, and Noel Whelan was a good risk to take.

'93, he made his Leeds debut, so just after that.

Looking at some of the pointless answers,

he might have been pointless, as well,

but we will take a look at the answers

in the other categories first.

Cast of Damned United.

Elizabeth Carling played Barbara Clough in that film.

Jim Broadbent played the Derby County chairman.

Michael Parkinson played himself,

and Stephen Graham played Billy Bremner in that film.

Everyone apart from Michael Sheen, Colm Meaney and Tim Spall,

everyone else was a pointless answer in that. Well done if you said one.

Now, the Yorkshire one - really hard to get pointless answers here.

I think we might have had a couple of Yorkshire fans in our 100

because the following people scored points -

Joe Root, Jonny Bairstow, Ryan Sidebottom, Adam Lyth,

Adil Rashid, Gary Ballance, Liam Plunkett, Andrew Gale,

Jack Brooks, Kane Williamson, Alex Lees and Tim Bresnan.

All of them scored points.

So, a few pointless answers. Aaron Finch, the Aussie...

You could have had Andrew Hodd, Azeem Rafiq and Richard Pyrah.

Those were the pointless answers.

Now, lots of people, especially Leeds fans,

would have got pointless answers in this one.

Take a look at some of the players who were pointless answers.

Chris Kamara. Funny to remember he was actually a player,

sometimes, when you see him now.

John Lukic, the goalie...

Bobby Davison, Chris Whyte, David Wetherall,

Imre Varadi, John McClelland, Jon Newsome, Mel Sterland,

Mike Whitlow and Tony Agana - all pointless answers.

Very well done if you said one of those.

Thanks, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to Jeremy and Ben.

Thank you so much for coming and playing and being so good.

Jeremy and Ben.

Well, sadly, Jeremy and Ben didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we'll be playing for £2,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.