Episode 49 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, my name's Ellen. This is my mum, Julia,

and we are from Hornsea in East Yorkshire.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name is Jake.

This is my friend, Joe, from Bristol, and I'm from Cheltenham.

-Couple number three.

-Hello, my name is Brian. This is my wife, Fiona,

and we're from Falkirk.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name is Mitch. I'm from Slough.

And this is my friend, Sandeep, from London.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A warm welcome to the show.

We'll find out more about each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

As well-liked as a photo of a newborn baby on Facebook,

-it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

APPLAUSE

You do feel duty-bound to press "like", don't you, when someone does that?

You just have to. You can't not.

Even if it's the 700th baby you've seen that year.

-Yeah.

-And even if you are thinking...

"Whoa!"

That's the best photo you've got?

-Ah...

-But you know what? I always think it's for your entire life.

When I had pictures of my kids when they were babies, everyone was nice about them,

-so I shall be nice about other people's.

-Pay it forward, Richard.

They were all very kind to me.

We must always be nice about other people's babies.

There we are. We've learned something already.

Although when you showed me pictures of yours, I actually did like them.

-Ah!

-Beautiful. So beautiful.

Gorgeous. Now, only one returning pair from the last show.

That's Sandeep and Mitch, who got knocked out in Round Two.

So a lot of unknown quantities on those first three podiums.

-Should be fun, though, shouldn't it?

-I think it should.

-You never know.

-I think it should.

Beth and Lianne, by the way, didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off...

at £3,000.

Yeah. APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, remember this, if nothing else,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Just make sure you're not in that pair. Best of luck.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Michael Jackson. Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK. And our Michael Jackson question concerns...

Liberian Girl cameos, Richard.

Yeah, I have to say Michael Jackson and Liberian Girl are slight red herrings.

Liberian Girl famously had lots of cameos from '80s stars in it.

We're going to show you a picture of 15 different people now,

all of whom had a cameo in the Liberian Girl video.

Can you identify any of the 15 people you're about to see?

There we are. OK.

So we're going to put up an image of 15 people.

That will stay up for the whole round. We won't be changing it halfway through the round.

We just need the name of anyone who's on this image.

And here it is...

There we go.

So who are all these celebrity cameos?

Julia,

a warm welcome to Pointless.

What do you do, Julia?

I'm a GP.

-Where are you a GP?

-I'm a GP in Beverley, in East Yorkshire.

About half an hour from where we live.

In Beverley. Is that a rural area, or is it a very...?

-Yeah, pretty much.

-So quite a large area that you cover.

-Yes.

And how long have you been doing that?

Oh, I've been a GP for about 15 years.

But a doctor for a bit longer than that, so...

I see. OK.

And beside medicine, what do you get up to?

I enjoy reading and film and theatre and travelling, yeah.

OK. Now, when you look at this board of faces,

are you excited by that

or is it slightly scary prospect?

I know a few of them.

Erm...

I'm going to go with the man on the middle row, on the far right...

..which I think is Richard Dreyfuss.

Dry-fuss? Dreyfuss.

Richard Dreyfuss. Sometimes people pronounce it Dry-fuss but, yes, Richard Dreyfuss.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Richard Dreyfuss.

It's right.

Oh, that's a good answer. Look at that, Julia, very well done. 15.

Great start to the round, great start to the show. Richard Dreyfuss.

Yeah, well played, Julia, very nice answer.

From Jaws, Close Encounters, and won an Oscar for The Goodbye Girl, Richard Dreyfuss.

-I'm going to say Dreyfuss.

-I'll stay with Dreyfuss.

Dreyfuss. What do you think, Jake? Dreyfuss.

I've never heard of him.

LAUGHTER

THEY MOUTH

-Have you seen Jaws?

-Jaws? Yeah, I've seen Jaws.

Steven Spielberg, is it, the film?

-Do you recognise him from Jaws?

-No.

"We're going to need a bigger boat."

-Oh, the man with the gun!

-He was the shark. He was the shark.

LAUGHTER

Now, Jake, welcome to the show. Great to have you here. What do you do, Jake?

I am soon to be a primary school teacher. In September.

I thought you were going to say Prime Minister there.

I was just thinking, "Wow!"

-Primary school teacher starting in September?

-Yeah.

-Wow.

So what were you doing before?

I was working in residential care homes with children in childcare.

Right you are. OK, so a bit of a move, but not a massive move,

-but a bit of a change.

-Not massively. Age has gone down.

-Yeah. Looking forward to it?

-Really looking forward to it, yeah.

I've got a nice reception class.

-Only eight pupils, as well, this year.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

Wow. But that's going to be interesting.

-Have you met any of the pupils coming...?

-I have met them, yes.

Because it was a school I was training in during my PGCE year,

so we've had some of the preschoolers come up into the classroom I was in,

-so I've had the opportunity to meet them. They're lovely.

-Very nice indeed.

Now, Jake. This board. This board of people.

Yeah, I don't recognise a lot of them.

I've never heard of Liberian girl.

Erm...

One of them that I do recognise, though, is Paula Abdul.

-Paula Abdul.

-I'm hoping she's the first one on the second row.

Paula Abdul. There she is, we hope.

Well, let's see. Is it Paula Abdul and, if it is, how many people said Paula Abdul?

It is Paula Abdul, Jake.

Beats 15, look at that, down to 10, a new low score.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, dancer, choreographer and singer Paula Abdul.

Absolutely right, first on the middle row.

Of course, you won't be called Jake for long, you'll be known by your surname for many years now.

Even if you see your teachers from school now in the street,

even from your primary school,

you have to call them Mrs or Mr and whatever their name is.

-You could never call them by their first name.

-No, never could.

And however much you say, "No, no, no, call me Colin.!

I said, "I don't think so! I'm not going to call you Colin, Mr Bumford!"

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much. Now, Fiona, welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you here, too.

-What do you do?

-I'm a freelance trainer consultant in the area of dementia,

so I train staff who work with people who have dementia.

-And you're from Falkirk?

-Yes.

-So you work mainly in that sort of district?

No, I work all over. No, I work all over the country, I go anywhere.

And what are your interests, Fiona, what do you like getting up to?

I'm really into Pilates and yoga and into reading and writing.

I've written a book and e-published it.

What is your book, to start with?

Well, it's women's fiction, you know, it's the usual stuff.

-When did you finish it?

-Years ago, actually.

How's it done, how's it been?

I think I made about £5.50.

I think, you know, all in all, I'm happy with that.

Not bad. But have you been tempted back to the word processor?

I do... I have got lots of bits of books started.

Lots and lots of bits of books.

So I don't know whether they'll ever get finished.

But it's very busy, life's very busy.

So, yeah. So I'm hoping they will.

-Still, nice to have them there, anyway.

-Thank you.

Now, Fiona, who are you going to go for on this board?

Dan Aykroyd, I think, is the guy down on the left at the bottom.

You think Dan Aykroyd, bottom left.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dan Aykroyd.

It does look like him. It is him!

-Phew!

-Phew!

-Phew!

16.

16. APPLAUSE

Another very good answer.

Yes, star of the Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters and Trading Places.

If you're going to star in three films...

That's a great parting he's got there, isn't it?

I mean, that's a Red Sea of a parting, isn't it?

It really is, yes.

OK. Thank you.

Now... So, Mitch.

Welcome back.

-Mitch, remind us what you do.

-I'm a medical student in Sheffield.

A medical student in Sheffield.

Have you been doing all your training in Sheffield?

-Yeah, and the surrounding towns.

-And the surrounding towns.

-Are you enjoying Sheffield?

-Yeah, it's great, yes.

-Fabulous place.

And what do you like getting up to when you're not doing your training?

Usual things, watch TV and films, collect records.

-Vinyl?

-Yeah.

How big's your collection?

It's quite modest. I'd say at the moment, about 150.

But fun, though. Lots of people are going back to vinyl.

-Yeah, big time, yeah.

-Yeah, exciting.

Now, Mitch, what would you like to go for on this board?

There's few I think are going to be quite high.

I'm going to go with Olivia Newton-John.

Olivia Newton-John, says Mitch.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Olivia Newton-John.

It's right.

18.

18 for Olivia Newton-John. APPLAUSE

Yeah, there she is in the second row, in black and white.

One of only two people who elected to do that.

Exactly. And we had phoned every single one of these people up before the show and said,

"Would you like to be in colour or black and white?"

-BAD AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:

-She said, "Black and white, please."

Of course! I forget she's South African, isn't she? She's er...

LAUGHTER

There we are. Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

10, well done, Jake. The best score of the pass so far.

Then we travel up to 15, Julia and Ellen.

16, Fiona and Brian.

And 18, Mitch and Sandeep.

So really very, very close. Nice little family scoreboard there.

But, Sandeep, you are at the top of that family.

We need a low score from you in the next pass. So good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Sandeep, welcome back.

-Remind us what you do?

-I'm a planner at a content agency.

so I mostly do research type stuff.

-You particularly like paint.

-Yes, definitely.

-Mainly because it's an excuse to travel to Amsterdam.

-Hopefully.

I'm not even sure I'd be able to if I get on that account, but that's the plan anyway.

-Oh, so you haven't even joined the paint camp yet?

-No, not yet.

-When will you discover?

-In the next few weeks, probably.

-Is that up to the paint people or the people your end?

-I think it's up to the people my end.

OK. Well, good luck for the paint.

Sandeep, tell us what else you like getting up to.

I really like live music.

I try to go to at least two or three gigs a month.

That's good going. Around London?

Around London mostly now, but I went to university in Sussex, in Brighton,

which also had a pretty lively scene,

so I occasionally go back down to Brighton because it's slightly cheaper there, as well.

Very good indeed.

Now, there you are on 18.

We need a low score, Sandeep. So who are all these celebrity cameos?

I know a few, but they're probably going to be really high-scorers.

There's one which I think I know,

but I might have also mixed up his real name

for the name of the character in The Simpsons who parodies him.

I'm going to go for Don King.

Don King. Don King, says Sandeep.

No red line for you, as you're the high-scorers,

but let's see how far down the column we get with Don King.

It's absolutely right, Don King.

Oh, 23.

APPLAUSE

A big score, though, for Don, taking your total up to 41.

Yeah, boxing promoter, extraordinary career for lots of reasons, Don King.

We've almost got a bingo line on our middle line, now.

-Oh, we have!

-Very, very close.

Very, very close indeed.

Now, Brian, welcome.

What do you do, Brian?

I'm a service user involvement worker,

so I work with vulnerable people

who receive support in order to give them a voice in the organisation,

because it is important that what they want within the organisation is heard.

So that's basically what I do.

OK. Now, I'm deducing that you're not,

neither of you are from Falkirk originally.

So what took you up there?

We've travelled a fair bit around England,

in various parts of England,

and then we went from Cambridgeshire to New Zealand,

where we lived for 18 months.

Didn't quite work out. And we'd holidayed a lot in Scotland.

When we left New Zealand, we ended up in central Scotland.

-And that has worked out?

-Well, yeah, we've been there for almost 12 years now.

Oh, fantastic. That really has worked out. Fantastic.

Now, there you are on 16. The high-scorers now behind you, Sandeep and Mitch on 41.

So 24 or less is what you're going to need, Brian.

OK. Well, I know a few,

but I'm going to take a bit of a gamble with this one.

Which is on the top row, cos I'm thinking Hulk

and I'm thinking the one second from the right.

I'm thinking Lou Ferrigno.

Lou Ferrigno. Lou Ferrigno. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that with Lou Ferrigno, you're into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Very well done indeed. That's a great answer, 10.

Equalling our lovely low answer from Jake in the first pass. 26 is your total.

Yeah, anyone of a certain age,

which, let's face it, a lot of us are, would remember him as green.

-Indeed.

-As the Incredible Hulk.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Joe, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do?

I work in a printing company.

What's your role in the printing company?

I'm a manager and just kind of make sure everything runs smoothly,

and we make things like masks and personalised mugs and...

Kind of anything you want to put your picture on, we can...

That's fun. Jo, what do you like doing otherwise, what else do you get up to?

I like taking my dog out. We've got a little Italian greyhound.

Oh, what sort of size is an Italian greyhound?

He is about that big.

-Oh, tiny.

-Yeah.

-Sweet, though.

But exactly the same shape?

Yeah, just like you've kind of put him in the washing machine for too long.

-He's shrunk down.

-What colour is he?

He's like a kind of smoky blue colour.

That's a great colour. Good colour.

-What's his name?

-Hugo.

-Hugo.

I do hope he'll be watching. He'll be going...

HE MAKES GENTLE BARKING NOISES

-They don't race Italian greyhounds, do they?

-No, he tries to, but...

Ah, Hugo....

Ah...

-He can't, he's too little.

-He's too little.

-He can't race.

-Only if he finds other Italians.

-Other Italian greyhounds.

-Yeah, that's what I mean!

He doesn't just find Italians and race against them, I'm guessing.

-Yeah, no, no.

-Has he got any Italian greyhound friends?

No, we don't see too many of them around, so...

Maybe just down by the coffee shop.

Round the back, there's a couple of Italian greyhounds.

Oh, do you think? That would be nice.

-And they could have a tiny little mini racetrack.

-Oh, that would be lovely.

-We could all go down there and have a little flutter.

-A tiny bet.

-A tiny bet.

Now, Joe, what would you like to go for?

You're on 10. The high-scorers on 41 are Sandeep and Mitch.

So if you can possibly score 30 or less, you're into Round Two.

I recognise three or four,

but most of the ones I recognise, I think would be quite high-scoring.

So I think I'll have to go for the riskiest one.

And I think the fourth one along on the bottom is Brigitte Nielsen.

Brigitte Nielsen.

Let's see if that's right. There is your red line.

Get below that with Brigitte Nielsen and you are through to next round.

It is Brigitte Nielsen.

That gets you through. Very well done.

16 is what it scores. 26 is your total.

APPLAUSE

Good work.

Well played, Joe. Some very good answers from everybody in this round.

She was married briefly to Sylvester Stallone.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Ellen...

Ellen, welcome to the show. Good to have you here.

What do you do, Ellen?

I'm a student at Newcastle University

and I study English language and literature.

-And what year are you in?

-I've just finished my first year.

So you've been all the way around the course once now. How do you like it?

It's been so good. I've just enjoyed it so much, it's so interesting.

I especially liked learning about sociolinguistics,

which is like the study of accent and dialect across Britain and the world.

That's why we love the North East, some great dialect up there.

-And how are you loving Newcastle?

-Again, it's really, really good.

It's a very interesting place.

Lovely. Lovely.

Now, Ellen, do you feel like having a bit of a mop-up operation here?

Most of the ones I knew, other people have already said them.

There are two I definitely think I know.

Then there's one which would be a bit more of a risk, so...

Well, your target is 25. 25 or less.

I think I'm going to say Whoopi Goldberg.

Whoopi Goldberg, says Ellen. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it. There is your red line.

It's right.

-Oh, dear.

-Oh, dear, Ellen, 79 for Whoopi Goldberg.

That's a colossal score, taking your total up to 94.

-I'm so sorry.

-She's actually the biggest scorer on the whole board,

Whoopi Goldberg, believe it or not.

Instantly recognisable, I suppose.

Now, let's go through the rest of these.

There's actually only one answer up here in single figures.

No pointless answers. The top row, there, top left?

-David Copperfield.

-David Copperfield would have scored you 11.

Next to David Copperfield is?

-Steve Guttenberg.

-Steve Guttenberg, he would have scored you 13 points.

Top right is Corey Feldman.

He would have scored you 12.

Let's complete the bingo on the middle line

with John Travolta there in the middle.

73 points for him, the second biggest scorer.

And on the bottom row, next to Dan Aykroyd, the best answer on the board, Quincy Jones.

Quincy Jones would have scored you 2.

Next to him, we heard him mentioned earlier, Steven Spielberg. 42 for him.

And bottom right?

Jackie Collins, the authoress.

Jackie Collins, yeah. 11 points for Jackie Collins.

There we are. Jackie Collins.

Thank you very much indeed.

So at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home with their high score of 94,

I'm so sorry, Ellen and Julia, it's you.

Ellen, did you know any of those lower-scoring ones?

No, they had all been said, unfortunately, so...

That's tricky. That is tricky.

That was a tough way to leave, but we'll see you again next time.

Thanks so much for playing. Ellen and Julia.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

There we are. Very well done, everyone. You've made it through to Round Two.

Particular mention to Fiona and Brian and Jake and Joe, who had exactly the same scores.

A 10 and a 16, adding up to 26.

So there we are. Spooky!

Best of luck to all three pairs for our next round.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Literature. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question is all about...

Non-fiction Works, Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you the titles of six works of non-fiction and their authors.

We've missed out a word from each title.

Can you fill it in, please? 12 in all, to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

OK, so what are the missing words from these titles?

And we've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Joe...

you are first.

Quite a difficult question for me.

I think I might know two.

I'm going to go for the Charles Darwin...

..On The Origin Of Species.

Species, says Joe.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went with "Species".

45.

APPLAUSE

That's quite a low score, isn't it, for that one?

Something's happening with evolution, I don't know what.

Something is.

Now, Brian...

What are the missing words from these non-fiction titles?

I'm debating. I know a few. So which one's the lowest?

I think I'm going to go with the top one, The Female Eunuch.

The Female Eunuch, says Brian. Let's see how many of our 100 people said "Eunuch".

It's right.

45 is our only score and you've passed that.

37 for The Female Eunuch.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, published in 1970, became an international bestseller.

Thanks very much, Richard. Mitch, this board is all yours.

If you felt like going through it, you'd be very welcome.

Yes, it's not a strong point for me.

I don't really have a clue for the bottom two.

I think the fourth one is Tweleve Years A Slave.

But I think that will be probably the highest.

So I'm going to have a go...

..at Dreams From My Father for Barack Obama.

Dreams From My Father, says Mitch.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said "Father".

It is right.

45 our high score, 37 our low.

You've passed 45. You've passed 37. Down it goes.

Look at that, 11. Very well done indeed, Mitch.

APPLAUSE

11 for Dreams From My Father.

Well played, Mitch. Yeah, the first of his autobiographical works.

It first came out in 1995 and it didn't sell a lot of copies.

And then he became President just so he could sell more copies.

-That would do it.

-It really worked!

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

You're right about 12 Years A Slave.

Quite a big scorer, 68.

-A Room Of One's...?

-Own!

-A Room Of One's Own.

Virginia Woolf, 40 points.

-And the best scorer on the board?

-Homage To Catalonia.

Homage To Catalonia by George Orwell. That would have scored 4 points.

-Very well done if you said that.

-Thank you. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

11 the best score of the pass. Very well done, Mitch.

Mitch and Sandeep looking pretty strong from that.

37 is where we find Brian and Fiona. 45 is where we find Joe and Jake.

Not too far ahead there, Jake, but let's have a low score from you. That should keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more titles up on the board.

Here they are...

I'll read those one last time.

Sandeep, we come to you.

I'm just trying to decide which one might have the lowest score.

I'm going to go for The Communist Manifesto.

The Communist Manifesto, says Sandeep.

You want to score 33 or less. Here's your red line.

Below that, you're in the head-to-head.

How many people said "Manifesto"?

It's right.

You've done it!

You've done it. Very well done indeed.

15, taking your total up to 26.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, a pamphlet written by Marx and Engels,

served as the basis for the Communist League.

Thanks, Richard. Fiona...

Fiona, now, you need to score 7 or less, ideally.

Yes, and I knew all of them on the previous board.

I don't know so many on this. It's no good.

And I think... The one that I think will score the less that I know,

and I think it's right, is Eat, Pray, Love.

Eat, Pray, Love, for Elizabeth Gilbert.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "Love". Here's your red line. Quite low.

23. 23.

Taking your total up to a nice, round 60.

Yeah, a 2006 memoir, later into a film with Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Jake, you have to score 14 or less, here.

-Do you feel like talking us through that board?

-I can try.

Non-fiction's also not a strong point of mine.

A Brief History Of Time, that's the Stephen Hawking one.

But I think that's going to be quite high, with the movie.

The Diary Of A Young Girl?

I'm not even sure if it is, but I know that that one's going to be very high,

many people are familiar with Anne Frank's diary.

I'm going to go for...

The God Gene, Richard Dawkins.

The God Gene, says Joe. The God Gene.

Here is your red line, it's quite low.

You have to get below that with The God Gene.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it. Is it right?

Bad luck, Jake.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 145.

Yeah, The Selfish Gene is one of Richard Dawkins' books.

This is The God Delusion and would have scored you 14 points.

You were right about Anne Frank, it's The Diary Of A Young Girl.

It would have scored you 40 points. That would have scored you too many.

A Brief History Of Time, that would have scored you 43 points, also too many.

And the best answer on the board, which is a wonderful book,

-do you know this one?

-H Is For Hawk?

H is for Hawk. Yeah, and that would have scored you 7 points.

-Very well done if you got that one.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of our second round, I'm afraid to say it's Jake and Joe we have to send home,

with their high score of 145.

Anyway, we say goodbye now, we'll see you again next time. Look forward to that very much.

In the meantime, thanks very much indeed, Jake and Joe.

APPLAUSE

But for Sandeep and Mitch, Fiona and Brian, it's now time for the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Sandeep, Mitch, Fiona and Brian.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Well, you know the deal. From here on in, you can confer before giving answers.

First pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot.

Now, no-one's been here before.

Fiona and Brian, for the excellent reason this is your first appearance on Pointless,

and, Sandeep and Mitch, for the excellent reason that you were kicked off in Round Two last time.

How that has changed!

A much better performance, much stronger, much lower scores, very, very well done.

I think this should be very close. Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here's your first question.

And it concerns...

It concerns Sooty, Richard.

Five clues now to facts about the television puppet Sooty.

What's the most obscure answer?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five clues. And here they come...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Sandeep and Mitch, you're our low scorers, you will go first.

Do you know any of these?

Yeah, the second one...

Yeah.

I think it might be Daniel Corbett.

Shall we go for that?

Or go with Weakest Link, maybe.

We're going to say The Weakest Link

for the quiz show presented by Anne Robinson.

OK, The Weakest Link.

Now, then, Fiona and Brian.

Do you want to talk us through the rest of that board?

Well, it was "Izzy, wizzy, let's get busy."

I wish I could remember his troublemaking cousin,

-because I kind of remember him.

-The decade must be the '60s.

And I think it might be the '50s.

But I think we're going to go for Harry Corbett's son, which I think is Matthew Corbett.

Matthew Corbett. So, we've got Weakest Link and we've got Matthew Corbett.

Sandeep and Mitch went for The Weakest Link.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

50.

APPLAUSE

Fiona and Brian, meanwhile, have gone for Matthew Corbett.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how may people said that.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done.

Matthew Corbett scoring 31.

APPLAUSE

Which means, after only one question, Fiona and Brian, you are ahead 1-0.

Very well played. It's actually a stage name.

His real name is Peter Corbett. But Matthew Corbett, obviously, is how we know him.

And Soo won a puppet version of Weakest Link.

She beat Roland Rat in the final.

-Used to be on at 5:15, didn't it, The Weakest Link?

-It did, yeah.

-I miss it.

-APPLAUSE

-Well, you would, cos you're here!

-That's true.

Yes, you're quite right. You're quite right.

"Izzy, wizzy, let's get busy" would have scored you 87 points.

You were right about the decade, it was the '50s.

1952 was the very first time Sooty appeared on television.

Had his own show from '55. 32 points for that.

And the name of the troublemaking cousin introduced in the '90s was Scampi.

And that's the best answer on the board, 7 points. Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed. So here comes your second question.

Fiona and Brian, you get to answer it first.

Sandeep and Mitch, you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

It is all about...

World Record Transfers, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now of footballers

who have been reported at one point or another as breaking the world transfer record.

Can you identify one of these, please?

OK, let's reveal our five footballers.

And here they come...

We've got...

There we are. Five footballers.

Fiona and Brian, you will go first.

I think the first one's Roberto Baggio.

And I think that will be the lowest. I may be wrong.

-OK, all right. Let's try it.

-OK.

I may be wrong on this one. I know...

I know all bar one, but I'm going to take a...

Well, I think I know. This one's a bit of a gamble.

I'm going to go for A, Roberto Baggio.

Roberto Baggio, say Fiona and Brian for A.

Roberto Baggio. Now, Sandeep and Mitch, that board's all yours.

Talk us through it.

Well, C we know is Gareth Bale.

E is Alan Shearer.

B is... We don't know.

No, don't know.

And D... This is a bit of a guess. Actually, a complete guess.

-Just say Di Stefano.

-Yeah, Di Stefano.

Di Stefano.

OK, Di Stefano you're going to say for D.

So we have Roberto Baggio and Di Stefano.

Fiona and Brian, you have said Roberto Baggio for A.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right, Roberto Baggio.

And it's a low score. Look, it is a low score.

8! Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Meanwhile, Sandeep and Mitch have said that D is Di Stefano.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Bad luck. That is incorrect.

But well done, Fiona and Brian.

That result means that, after only two questions,

you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

Yeah, Roberto Baggio's a great answer. It's the second-best answer on the board, after D.

Much closer to home than Alfredo Di Stefano.

It is...

Signed for Arsenal in 1928, David Jack.

And he is a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that. He signed for £10,890,

which was, at the time, a world record.

B is, of course, Johan Cruyff.

He would have scored you 26.

And C sold for £86 million to Real Madrid.

Gareth Bale, as you knew.

Big scorer, though, 46.

And Alan Shearer.

£15 million price tag at one point.

62 points for him.

Thanks very much, Richard.

OK, so the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid, Sandeep and Mitch.

I'm so sorry. Our low-scoring pair,

but Fiona and Brian just pipped you on both those answers.

We say goodbye for now. It's been great having you on the show. Thank you for playing, Sandeep and Mitch!

APPLAUSE

So, for Fiona and Brian, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Very many congratulations, Fiona and Brian,

you have fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Yay!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

You've done incredibly well.

Your first appearance on Pointless, straight through to the final.

2-0 in the head-to-head.

I mean, there's no arguing with that.

-What would you like to see come up in this round?

-I'd like to see...

literary prizes, perhaps music prizes, something to do with music.

I'd like to see "what is in my house?"

Do you think that might come up?

-No, it came up two shows ago, I'm afraid.

-Oh, no!

Well, you get to make your choice from the four we put up on the board, as you know.

Let's see what's up there today.

We've got...

What do you reckon?

-Not jazz.

-Not jazz, definitely.

I'm not too sure about "Girl"...

Abraham Lincoln I don't really know. I know who followed him.

-Do you want to try 20th Century Literature?

-Give it a go?

-Yeah.

What you reckon?

Yeah. Yeah.

We're going 20th Century Literature, please.

Yeah, we're looking for any novel published by any of the following three authors, please.

We are looking for any novel written by...

So any novel.

No novellas, plays, non-fiction, anything like that or anthologies.

Just novels written by any of those three,

including posthumous ones up to June 2015.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win the jackpot is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-I think we're going to spread them very thinly.

OK! Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now!

What do you reckon?

What about Virginia Woolf?

I only know To The Lighthouse.

So I only know To The Lighthouse

and I don't think that would be pointless.

How about Ernest Hemingway? I really don't...

I don't know any of these.

-No.

-Any of them.

No. So we're really stuck.

-What about Ernest Hemingway?

-I don't know any by Ernest Hemingway.

God...

I know William Faulkner, I saw on something else the other day...

-But I'm trying to...

-We really are struggling, aren't we?

-Yeah, we are.

-Yeah.

So... We're to have to make it up.

Yeah. We are. Because I don't know any.

Apart from To The Lighthouse.

That won't be pointless.

Well, give it a go.

Yeah. I think we'll just stop, just because we'll just make up some.

-We've got to, yeah.

-We're going to make some up.

-Ten seconds left.

-OK.

What you reckon?

Ernest Hemingway wrote To Have Or Have Not.

-Give it a whirl.

-Give it a whirl. What the hell, eh?

OK, that is your time up. I now need is your three answers.

And if you could say which category you are answering, as well.

-Well, Virginia Woolf.

-To The Lighthouse.

-To The lighthouse.

-Yeah.

-And the next two are guesses.

-To Have And Have Not.

-To Have And Have Not.

-Though, I don't think that's right.

-You're going to say that for who?

Hemingway.

I know it's not him, because it was Andre Gide,

but I keep on getting Strait As The Gate.

-Do you want to try it?

-Yeah, no, it's none of those.

But I'll go Ernest Hemingway, Strait As The Gate.

Strait As The Gate, Ernest Hemingway.

OK, now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think our only shot is Virginia Woolf.

OK, To The Lighthouse goes last.

Which is your least likely of the other two?

-Strait As The Gate.

-Strait As The Gate goes first.

And the other goes in the middle.

OK, well, lets put those answers on the board in that order, then, and here they are.

We've got...

OK, now, if one of these turns out to be pointless

and wins you that jackpot of £3,000, what would you do with it?

I think we'd put it towards a holiday...

-Yeah.

-..for the family.

-Yeah.

I think, probably, towards something in Florida,

or maybe we'd be selfish and go to India, the two of us.

-Yeah.

-That would be nice, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

Well, best of luck. Let's just keep fingers crossed.

Your first answer was Strait As The Gate.

In this case, we are looking for novels by Ernest Hemingway.

Strait As The Gate is your least-confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer, remember, to win that jackpot of £3,000.

Let's see if Strait As The Gate is right.

Nope. I'm afraid not.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

Your next answer was To Have And Have Not.

In this case, we were also looking for Ernest Hemingway novels.

Let's see if that's right, too, shall we, for £3,000?

It is right.

-Now...

-It won't be pointless.

..if this goes all the way down to zero,

you will be leaving here with £3,000.

Down it goes, through single figures, still going down, still going down...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

There you are!

-That...

-Oh, thank you!

-Thank you!

-Very well done!

-How about that?

-Congratulations!

I don't believe it!

To Have And Have Not was a pointless answer.

That means you are going away with our jackpot of £3,000.

-I can't believe it!

-Brilliant!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Never in doubt. Never in doubt, was it?

You must have known. Somewhere in your head, you knew, you knew that.

So, 1937 novel by Hemingway,

of course, made into a film with Bacall and Bogart.

But a pointless answer. Terrific work, very well done!

Yeah, I thought it was by him, but I never thought it would be pointless. I thought... Never.

To The Lighthouse would have scored you 7 points.

7? 7 points.

But it doesn't matter. Who cares?!

Let's look at the pointless answers in the different categories. We'll start with Virginia Woolf.

You could have had Between The Acts, Jacob's Room,

Night And Day, The Years. Also Flush, and The Voyage Out.

Those were the six pointless answers.

Well done if you got one of those. William Faulkner, now.

Absalom, Absalom!

Light In August. His first-ever novel, Soldiers' Pay,

and his last novel, that won the Pulitzer Prize, The Reivers.

Those were the only four pointless answers in that category.

Ernest Hemingway, now.

Islands In The Stream. Of course, later covered by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers!

You could have had The Garden Of Eden,

you could have had The Torrents Of Spring,

And there's To Have And Have Not.

How about that? Two other pointless answers.

Across The River And Into The Trees, and True At First Light.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thanks very much.

Well, thanks, once again, to our winning pair, Fiona and Brian,

who go away with today's jackpot of £3,000.

-Very well done!

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye!

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye!

APPLAUSE