Episode 50 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, the game where we aim for the obscure, and we ignore the obvious.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, there, my name's James,

this is my best friend Dougie and we're from Bournemouth.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, my name is Jake, this is my friend Joe,

he's from Bristol, and I'm from Cheltenham.

-Couple number three.

-Hello.

I'm Julia, and this is my daughter Ellen,

we're from Hornsea in East Yorkshire.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Stuart, this is my friend Russell.

He's from Greenock, and I'm from Paisley, Scotland.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Well, thank you very much to all of you.

We will find out more about each of you throughout the show as it goes

along. So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's very much part of the furniture.

In fact, he goes into storage between series.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

Well, I'm obviously, you can tell, I'm not great.

-Oh, yes.

-Have you not, have you not seen?

Have you not seen the hour before the show everyone has been huddled around my laptop?

-No, why?

-Because somebody has scratched it.

They've scratched the back of it. It's been a huge thing, the last hour.

-Have they written the word on it?

-They have not written a word on it.

-OK, OK.

-But it's definitively, it's...

I'm sure you can see it at home. An appalling act of wanton vandalism.

Someone has crept in. I don't know what's happened.

I do know, I do know that last night Bradley Walsh was seen walking away

from the studio. I know that.

Bear with me, please, at home, I know it's appalling to look at,

this terrible, terrible scar on the laptop.

At least it works as well as it always does.

-That's the good news.

-That's the good news.

-Never let me down yet.

-No change, there.

-Good.

-No change there.

Thank you very much indeed.

Well, now then, Fiona and Brian won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at £1,000.

There we are. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

If you remember nothing else, remember this.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated. That's the rule.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

Shakespeare.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second, and whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you a series of lines and expressions

from Shakespeare's plays, and the character that says them.

You need to tell us the name of the play that they are from, please.

There's going to be seven on each board,

14 in all to have a go at home.

I will point out we have two teachers and an English student amongst today's contestants.

-Yes.

-No pressure. No pressure.

There we are. OK, so we're looking for the Shakespeare plays

from which these lines or expressions come.

Here's our first board of seven. And we have got...

And that's a character we used to call "Jakes", now he's pronounced "Ja-quise".

I don't know how that happened, but that's...that's how old we are.

-Yes, I know.

-I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Dougie.

-Hi, there.

-Welcome to Pointless.

About time somebody comes dressed appropriately.

I know.

Now, Dougie, what do you do, Dougie?

I'm a deputy headteacher of a school in Poole.

You see, a school in Poole, everything he's said is just a gift.

Let's just unpack that. Deputy headteacher. Do you wear the bowtie when you're at school?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Good, good. Well done. School in Poole.

-It's an infants' school.

-School in Poole, it's an infants' school.

We don't touch on Shakespeare.

OK. Well, that's OK.

You're allowed to have studied it yourself.

-What do you teach?

-I don't teach any more.

You're just... You're a figurehead?

Yeah, kind of management, but my background is early years,

so I taught early years for five years, before I joined the school.

-I see. That wasn't at the school in Poole?

-Different school in Poole.

-OK, a different school in Poole.

-Different school, yeah.

-OK.

-It's good to rule the school in Poole, though, isn't it?

He's no fool. Ruling that school, the school in Poole that's an infants' school.

-Oh, that's cool.

-Is it?

LAUGHTER

-Now, Dougie.

-Yep.

From this board, what would you like to go for?

I'm going to take a guess.

"Murder most foul", I'm going to go with Hamlet.

Hamlet. OK, Hamlet, says Dougie, let's see if that's right for the ghost.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

There we are! 17. APPLAUSE

Dougie, that was no guess.

It was!

17, great start to the round.

Yeah, well played, Dougie.

Reputation absolutely intact.

Phew!

There we are, thanks very much, Richard.

Joe. Welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Joe?

I work as a printing company manager in Bristol.

That's right. And you print all manner of things?

Yeah, just... We...

Kind of personalised things, really, mainly.

Mugs, cups...

Mouse mats, T-shirts, all that kind of stuff, really.

Very good. And Joe, what are your interests?

What keeps you happy?

Normal stuff, really. I follow football quite closely, go to the cinema...

Our dog loves following the football quite closely, he can do that...

Just follows it along with his nose, he'll sort of push it along.

Now, Joe, what would you like to go for on this board?

Quite stuck. I've got the names of the plays in my head but I'm just

having trouble matching them up.

I think I'm going to have to go for one that I believe is right,

and go "star-cross'd lovers", which would be Romeo And Juliet.

Romeo And Juliet, says Joe.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Romeo And Juliet.

It's right. Well, 17...

that's our only score so far. 59.

APPLAUSE

It's genuinely extraordinary how many words and expressions

first used by Shakespeare that we still use today.

Thank you, Richard. Julia.

Julia, welcome back. Now, we had to say goodbye to you far too soon last time.

-You did.

-Round one. Remind us what you do, Julia.

-I'm a GP.

-You are a GP.

Who is holding the fort at the moment or are you on holiday?

My hugely capable colleagues, I hope, are holding the fort.

-Yeah.

-And Julia, what do you love getting up to in East Yorkshire?

I do a lot of reading, I like going to the cinema and watching film,

and I've travelled a bit as well, I like travelling, yeah, yeah.

Do you see much Shakespeare?

Occasionally. Well, Ellen's very keen on Shakespeare, so...

Oh, she landed you in it there!

Did you see what she did, Ellen?

"Well, of course Ellen is the Shakespeare expert in our house.

"There's nothing she doesn't know!"

Good. So you go along with Ellen?

I do. Yes, yeah.

Now, Julia, what would you like to go for on this board?

I know one of them for definite, I think.

The second one.

Which is, I think, from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

A Midsummer Night's Dream.

The second one. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh, I'm afraid not from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

That scores you 100 points.

I'm sorry, Julia.

Ellen just gave her mum such a look.

Not for the first time.

The good news is that Ellen is brilliant and knows

everything about Shakespeare, so they'll be fine on the second pass.

They'll be fine on the second pass. Stuart, welcome to the show.

-Hi.

-Great to have you here, from Paisley.

-Yes.

-And what do you do, Stuart?

-I'm a mental health nurse.

-Right you are.

And what else do you like getting up to up there in Paisley?

I like to travel, go to the cinema, take my dog for walks.

And what sort of dog have you got, Stuart?

He's a Dalmatian crossbreed.

Does he follow football as well?

Follows it around the back garden quite a lot, yep.

Very good. This board is all yours, Stuart.

How are we feeling about these Shakespeare plays?

This is terrible. The two I've read are answered already.

So I'm going to have to take a guess,

and I will go with "what the Dickens".

And As You Like It?

"What the Dickens", As You Like It, says Stuart.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said As You Like It.

I'm afraid not As You Like It.

This is cheering news for Julia.

She's now got company up there at 100, but, yes,

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points, too.

Yeah, unlucky, but don't forget also, Russell is a Shakespeare expert as well.

So think it's going to be spectacular on the way back down.

Now, you'll be good at Shakespeare, I suspect.

The top one, "a dish fit for the gods"?

-Julius Caesar.

-Is from Julius Caesar.

Would have scored you 21 points.

"If music be the food of love, play on."

This I happen to know is a part that has been played by you.

Yes, it was played by me.

At Warden Park, in the fifth year play.

Twelfth Night. Can you think of a better Count Orsino?

I was terrific. I'll be honest with you.

Six points. I was great.

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on.

"And our little lives are rounded with a sleep."

-The Tempest.

-From the Tempest.

Absolutely. So beautiful.

15 points from that. "What the Dickens" is actually from...

Do know that one? That's a tough one.

Mistress Page, I think, is The Merry Wives Of Windsor.

Merry Wives Of Windsor is the right answer.

Would have scored you 4 points. And "all the world's a stage?"

-That is from As You Like It.

-That is from As You Like It, yeah.

-Jay-quise.

-And that would have scored 4,

-so Merry Wives Of Windsor and As You Like It the best answers there.

-Thanks very much, indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores. Well, 17, Dougie,

unwittingly the best score of the pass.

Or maybe wittingly, actually, maybe you knew it after all.

Then we travel up to 59, Joe and Jake, not bad at all.

Then it is 100, I'm afraid, for Stuart and Russell, and Julia and Ellen.

So, Ellen, our resident Shakespeare expert, and Russell,

our resident Shakespeare expert, it is between the pair of you.

We going to come back down the line, now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. We're going to put seven more lines and expressions

from Shakespeare up on the board. Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we go. Now, then, Russell. Welcome.

Welcome. And what do you do, Russell?

I'm a psychiatric nurse in Glasgow.

Do you work alongside Stuart?

We used to work in the same ward, now we're on separate wards,

but the same hospital.

What are your interests, Russell?

Well, very much a family man, nowadays,

I spend a lot of time with my wee boy Rory, and my wife,

just fun days out,

he loves funfairs and days to like safari parks and such.

Now, Russell,

we have a contest on our hands here.

What are you going to go for on this board?

We need a low score.

I've a couple I'm not too sure about,

but I think I'm going to go for "pound of flesh", Shylock,

-The Merchant Of Venice.

-The Merchant Of Venice, says Russell.

No red line for you, you're the high scorers,

but let's see how far down the column we get with The Merchant Of Venice.

It's right.

37.

APPLAUSE

137 is your total.

Yeah, well played, Russell, nice answer, and again,

all of these were used in Shakespeare, all of those expressions.

There's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds.

And so many coinages, so many words that he's just made up.

Yeah, turned nouns into verbs, and all sorts of things.

-Yeah.

-Fabulous.

Now, Ellen. Ellen, welcome back.

Remind us what you do.

I'm an English student in Newcastle.

Exactly. Exactly.

An ENGLISH student in Newcastle.

Also the resident Shakespeare expert,

for the whole of East Yorkshire, I believe.

What are your hobbies, Ellen?

I like reading, I like literature,

which kind of comes with the territory,

I guess. I'm quite musical, I play trombone in a colliery band

in a town called Backworth near Newcastle.

That's fun! How long have you been part of that?

About a year now, yeah.

Brilliant. So, you joined when you went up to university?

-Yes, when I went to university. It's a lot of fun, I really enjoy it.

-Very exciting. Now, Ellen,

we need 36 or less from you,

otherwise you will be leaving at the end of this round,

and that simply can't happen again.

I know, I think, most of them, I just...

It's just hard to know which ones are going to be lower than others.

I think I'm going to go for...

"There live we as merry as the day is long" - Much Ado About Nothing.

Much Ado About Nothing, says Ellen, for the Beatrice quote.

Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

Get below that, you're with us for Round Two.

It's right.

Oh, you're through, well done!

You've... CHEERING

Oh, that's a good score! Eight!

Our best score so far, in fact.

Yeah, that's very well played, Ellen as well.

We put an awful lot of pressure on Ellen, there.

-We did.

-And you came good, so congratulations.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, Jake...

or Jay-quie, as we now pronounce it.

Jake, welcome back to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Jake?

I'm a primary school teacher.

-Right. So, primary school, again, no Shakespeare on your curriculum, there?

-I've got an excuse.

I'm a reception teacher, and we like picture books at the moment.

-This is not good for me.

-That's fair enough.

Now, Jake,

you're on 59. If you can score 77 or less,

you're into the next round.

OK.

It's a bit of a guess, actually, the one that I'm going to go for.

I could guess at two,

but I know that any correct answer will see me through,

so I'm going to go for the more obvious one, I hope, I think,

"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve"

is A Midsummer Night's Dream.

A Midsummer Night's Dream,

for Iago. There is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're into the next round.

How many of our 100 people said A Midsummer Night's Dream?

No, I'm sorry, Jake,

that scores you 100 points

and takes your total up to 159.

Yeah, sorry, Jake, I'll give the correct answer to that one at the end of the pass.

Now then, James, welcome.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here, James,

-from Bournemouth. What do you do?

-I'm an events manager,

I run corporate events.

See, that's quite fun, isn't it, running events?

-Are they all fun events?

-They are, they're good fun events,

we do some more training events and things like that,

but I also run things like...

We took 75 people to Ascot this year, and stuff like that, so...

See, that's nice, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Now, James, what are your hobbies?

I do musical theatre.

Dougie and I actually own a musical theatre company back in Bournemouth

-with a couple of friends.

-You own a musical theatre company?!

-Yeah, we run it, so we are producers, now. So, yeah.

-Wow!

So, you put on commercial enterprises?

This is no am dram, it's...

No, it is am dram, it is am dram.

-It is, I see.

-An am dram company, but, yeah.

Excellent. Well, good for you. Now, great news. It doesn't matter what you score,

you're still through to the next round.

But, James, how about doing a little tidy up, here,

and filling in all those blanks?

I'm pretty sure I know two of them.

I would say Iago was Othello.

"Pitched battle", Petruchio, would be Taming Of The Shrew.

And I'm guessing that "at one fell swoop", Macduff, would be Macbeth,

but I'm not sure.

But I think I'm going to go Iago, Othello.

OK. Othello, says James.

Well, again, no red line, as I said, because you are already through.

Let's see how many people said Othello.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed. 13.

Takes your total up to 30.

Very much the lowest total of the round.

-Well done.

-Yeah, very well played.

You missed a much lower-scoring answer,

because you're right about "pitched battle", Petruchio.

It is Taming Of The Shrew.

That would have scored you 3 points.

Of course, you're right about Macduff and Macbeth,

that's the biggest scorer. That would have scored you 52.

Now, "The course of true love never did run smooth"?

-Is... That IS A Midsummer Night's Dream.

-A Midsummer Night's Dream, yeah.

That would have scored you 9, and "a good riddance."

-Do you know that? That's the best answer on the board.

-No! I don't know that one.

-It is Troilus And Cressida.

-Oh, Troilus And Cressida.

-Very well done if you said that at home.

-2 points.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home with their high score of 159,

it's Jake and Joe. I'm so sorry.

I was thinking you were going to go all the way through to the final,

this time round, because Round Two was pretty harsh for you last time,

I know, but I'm afraid it's Round One, this time.

I'm so sorry. It's been wonderful having you on the show,

but this is where we have to say goodbye. Thanks so much for playing. Jake and Joe!

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well done, everyone,

we've managed to clear the hurdle that was the Shakespeare round.

Here we are in Round Two, and a particular well done to Ellen,

you lived up to your billing perfectly, a lovely low score there,

with Much Ado About Nothing.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

World Geography.

There we are. We've done English, now it's geography.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second, and whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

-Richard.

-Yeah, we are looking for any country of the world that has at

least one repeated consonant in its name, please.

In its usual short form name in English. As always, by country,

we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Dougie.

Always tough going first.

Yeah, geography's not a strong point of mine, unfortunately.

But I'm it's guessing a country with double consonants in the name,

-so I'm going to go with Morocco.

-Morocco. Morocco, says Dougie.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went with Morocco.

It's quite right.

APPLAUSE There we are. 13.

Good answer, Dougie, well done. 13 for Morocco.

Well played, Dougie, that's got two Cs in it, they're next to each other, even!

-Look at that.

-They don't have to be, but they happen to be.

Good, good. Now, Ellen.

Oh. New Zealand.

-New Zealand...

-Yeah.

-..says Ellen.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said New Zealand.

It's right.

There we are! 14!

APPLAUSE

14 for New Zealand.

Yeah, two Ns there, New Zealand.

Quite a long way away from each other.

-Two Ns, two Es, two As...

-But they're not consonants, are they?

LAUGHTER

I know, but when it comes to...

I'm just saying.

In terms of New Zealand, a lot of the cast are doubling up and playing...

Yes, no, you are...

Well, well covered. Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks for helping me out, you're absolutely right.

Vowels, consonants. I remember them now.

-I remember them now.

-Yeah.

-Now, Russell, Russell...

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for Tajikstan.

Tajikstan, says Russell.

OK, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Tajikstan.

It's right.

CHEERING

There we are, Russell, that is a pointless answer.

It adds £250 to today's jackpot,

taking the total up to £1,250.

And it scores you nothing.

-Very well done.

-Yes, TajikIstan.

But I think "Tajikstan" is just about close enough to be acceptable.

Oh, thank you very much. We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Well done, Russell. Russell and Stuart looking very good on nothing.

Then, we travel up to 13 when we find Dougie and James,

then up to 14, Ellen and Julia.

You find yourself out in front, here, Julia. We need a bit of magic.

Time for you to pay back the debt

that you owe Ellen from Round One, there.

Best of luck with that low score, Julia, should keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now, can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, then, Stuart.

Remember, we are looking for the name of any country with repeated

consonants in its name.

This is...

I've got a few going round my head,

and I'm hoping I'm getting the pronunciation proper of this...

Mayamar.

Mayamar, says Stuart.

Mayamar. Well, you want to score 13 or less.

There is your red line. Let's see if Mayamar is right.

No.

I'm afraid it's not right, Stuart. That scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 100.

Yeah, unfortunately I can't accept that answer.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Julia.

Phew, let's just say.

That's helped you out considerably, there.

If you could score 85 or less, Julia, you are...

You're into the head-to-head.

It's quite difficult to think of ones with the same consonants.

But I think I'm going to go for...

Trinidad and Tobago.

Trinidad and Tobago says Julia.

Here is your red line. Get below this red line, nice and high,

and you are through to the next round. How many people said that?

Well done.

One.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 15.

Yeah, very well played, Julia.

All the letters are in there as well.

-Which is great.

-Thank you very much. Now, James,

what would you like to go for?

And again, a lovely low score from Dougie

in the first pass means you only

have to score 86 or less.

I would like to go for Costa Rica.

Costa Rica.

There is your red line.

Can you get below that red line with Costa Rica?

Yes, you can.

There we are! It's another pointless answer.

Very well done indeed,

that adds another £250 to today's jackpot,

taking the total up to £1,500.

Scores you nothing.

Leaves your total at 13.

For the second round running, you are the lowest scorers.

Great work, James, yeah, very good answer indeed.

Now, Stuart and Russell, it's Myanmar, rather than Mayamar.

So sorry about that, gents.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers. There's quite a few.

You could have had...Costa Rica, we've seen,

Dominican Republic, El Salvador,

Eritrea, Georgia, Liechtenstein.

That's got all sorts of ones in there, hasn't it?

You could have also had Antigua and Barbuda, Bosnia and Herzegovina,

Kyrgyzstan. You could have had Mozambique, San Marino, Timor-Leste,

and United Arab Emirates, those were all pointless answers,

and very well done if you said one of those.

Let's take a look at the top three,

the ones that most of our 100 people said when we asked them online.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm sorry to say,

Stuart and Russell, it is to you we have to say goodbye.

High score of 100, there.

Well, well done on the pointless answer,

and you were very close with Myanmar,

but I'm afraid, yeah, no cigar, there in the event.

We'll see you again next time, we look forward to that very much,

but in the meantime, thanks very much, Stuart and Russell.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it is now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, James and Dougie,

Julia and Ellen, you are now one step closer to the final,

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,500.

Well, you know the deal. From here on in, you can play as pairs,

you can chat, before you give your answers,

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, Julia and Ellen, very well done indeed,

Round One we said goodbye to you last time.

Here you are in the head-to-head.

What's nice is there's been good teamwork.

You've each taken turns to dig the other one out, which has been great.

And James and Dougie, see, this is what happens.

You wear a bow tie to Pointless...

You will get through to the head-to-head, quite often as the lowest scoring pair.

So, well done.

Good pointless answering there as well in the second round.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question.

And it's all about...

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures, now, of famous people called Paul.

Can you tell us who is the most obscure, please?

OK, let's reveal our famous Pauls, and here they are.

We've got...

There you go. Five famous Pauls.

James and Dougie, you're our low scorers, so you will go first.

Have to be honest with you, we only know one, so we're going to play it.

We're going with C, Paul Daniels.

OK, Paul Daniels, say James and Dougie.

Now, Julia and Allen, do you fancy talking us through the other Pauls?

I don't know A and B.

I know D and E.

And I think we'll go with D, which is Paul Ince.

Paul Ince, say Julia and Ellen.

So, we have Daniels and we have Ince.

James and Dougie have gone for Paul Daniels for C,

let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Oh, 78 for Paul Daniels.

Now, then, Julia and Ellen, you have gone for Paul Ince for D.

Let's see how many people said Paul Ince.

Well done, wins you the point.

24.

APPLAUSE

Which means Julia and Ellen, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played. Yeah, the first two are the low answers.

The last one that you knew as well is...

Paul Newman, yeah.

He would have scored you 53.

Now, A, one of the great singers of the 20th century.

-Yes.

-His version of Old Man River is the sort of classic.

-Paul Robeson.

-Robeson, yeah.

Would have scored you three points, and the best answer on the board...

It was Mitt Romney's running mate in 2012, and it's Paul Ryan.

Would have scored you one point,

very well done if you said that.

There we are.

A very low hairline, Paul Ryan.

-Really low hairline.

-I mean that's why he's Romney's...

Because Romney had a slightly higher one, so he needed someone with a slightly lower one.

That's just a tiny little strait of skin between the brow and the hairline, there.

I mean, there must be a moment when the hairline must have thought,

"Shall we just... We could just annex the eyebrows, just..."

Yeah, just join up. Just join up, and suddenly,

suddenly you've got a Wookiee as Vice President of the United States.

-What's wrong with that?

-Nothing wrong with that.

Exactly. I would like that, too.

-If I was running for president, I would have a Wookiee as my running mate.

-Always. Always.

Who's not voting for a Wookiee?

What have you got to say that about that, Paul Ryan?

BOTH MAKE WOOKIEE NOISE

LAUGHTER

OK. Now, here is your second question.

James and Dougie, you have to win this one to stay in the game. So, best of luck.

It's all about...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you the names, now, of five common kitchen utensils, but

we've missed out alternate letters. Can you fill in the gaps, please?

OK. So, let's reveal our five kitchen utensils with bits missing

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Julia and Ellen will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We're going to go for the last one, which is measuring jug.

Measuring jug, say Julia and Ellen, measuring jug.

Now, James and Dougie, it's over to you.

That was the one I was going to go for.

I know all of them, but I don't know which ones...

Talk us through. Potato peeler, egg timer, cheese grater, and rolling pin.

I think I'm going to have to go for cheese grater.

-Yeah.

-Cheese grater.

See, this is going to be close, I think.

Measuring jug and cheese grater.

Julia and Ellen went for measuring jug,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

69.

APPLAUSE

Meanwhile, James and Dougie have gone for cheese grater.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Oh, and it wins the point. There we are! Cheese grater!

They did you a favour, there, James and Dougie,

and you're back in the game. Very well done.

After two questions, it's 1-1.

Rolling pin would have scored you 85.

Egg timer would have scored you 92,

so the best answer on the board is the top one, which is potato peeler,

and would have scored you 46.

There you are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, so it all comes down to this third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Our third question today concerns...

-Richard.

-Just going to show you five clues, now,

and the answers to each of them are people who appeared on the front cover of Rolling Stone.

-Can you tell us who they are, please?

-OK, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

We've got...

I'm going to read those one last time.

There we are. James and Dougie, you will go first.

OK. Do you want to go for it?

OK. I can only work out one.

I think... The song Sledgehammer is Paul Weller?

OK. Paul Weller, say James and Dougie.

Now, Julia and Ellen, talk us through that board.

I know two of them.

I don't know the second one.

The author of Breakfast At Tiffany's is Truman Capote

and the last one is Neil Diamond.

I think...

We'll go for Truman Capote.

Truman Capote, the author of Breakfast At Tiffany's.

Now, then, James and Dougie have gone for Paul Weller,

the singer of Sledgehammer. Let's see if that's right.

I'm afraid not Paul Weller.

Which means Julia and Ellen,

you merely have to be correct with Truman Capote,

and you are through to the final.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Truman Capote.

Absolutely right. Well done.

Good answer! Scores you 12.

But the important thing is it was correct, which means,

after three questions, Julia and Ellen, you are through to the final, 2-1.

Yes, best answer on the board as well.

Truman Capote. Well done.

Sledgehammer's Peter Gabriel, not Paul Weller.

Peter Gabriel would have scored you 46.

Angelina Jolie's father...

-Jon Voight.

-John Voight.

35 for that.

The number one singles You Make Me Wanna, and Burn is Usher.

-There we are.

-Usher. Would have scored you 19.

And you're quite right about Neil Diamond, the biggest scorer.

In fact, the biggest scorer of all, 58 points.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our head-to-head round, I'm afraid the pair who are leaving us, James and Dougie,

low scorers through rounds one and two.

But then, you came up against Julia and Ellen.

We'll see you again, next time, though, we'll look forward to that very much.

-In the meantime, thanks very much, James and Dougie.

-Best of luck.

But, for Julia and Ellen, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Very well done, Julia and Ellen, you've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,500.

Well, Round One last time.

This time, through to the final.

That happens so often.

Anything you'd like to see come up in this last round?

Harry Potter.

Ellen knows everything.

Well, I'm putting her in that position again!

Aren't I? I'd better not say anything, had I?

-Films...

-Films... Medicine, for me.

-Medicine, well, there we are.

Wouldn't that be great. Wouldn't that... Medicine and Harry Potter.

Some weird hybrid round.

Superb. Well, best of luck.

Let's see what today's selection looks like.

We've got...

Space exploration could be...

I don't know. I think we'll have to go with the first one.

I think we'd better go for the actors, actors called Robert.

Actors called Robert, Richard.

OK. Very best of luck. We are looking for any feature film

made for cinema release up to the end of April 2015

starring any of the following three, please.

We are looking for any Robert Duvall films,

we are looking for any Robert Carlyle films,

we are looking for any Robert Pattinson films.

So three very different actors, there.

So, any feature film starring one of those three gentlemen up to the end of April 2015.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

As always you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

-Speak up.

-The only one I know is Robert Pattinson.

-OK, which Harry Potter... He was in two.

He was in the fourth one and then he was in flashbacks in the fifth one,

so people might not realise that he was in the fifth,

but I don't know if he will have been credited.

OK, we'll go for that one. Robert Duvall is the actor that was in the Godfather films, so we could go...

I don't know whether he was in Godfather III,

but we could go for Godfather II.

But if someone said Godfather I,

they're more likely to just go on and say the rest.

Maybe, yes. Possibly.

Robert Carlyle is the guy from Trainspotting.

-Oh, OK.

-And he was in the Bond film where he played the man who had the...

The bullet in his brain.

What was that one called?

About the pipeline.

-Another Robert Pattinson film is...

-All the Twilight films.

-Water For Elephants.

-Oh, Water For Elephants?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, let's go for that.

-Shall we go Godfather III...

-Ten seconds left.

-And the last Harry Potter...

-No, the fifth Harry Potter.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-The last one?

-No, the fifth one.

The Order Of The Phoenix.

OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid.

Sounds like you've got three good answers, though.

What are you going to go for?

We'll go for Godfather II.

-Yes, Godfather II.

-For Robert Duvall.

-For Robert Duvall.

-And then Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson.

-Water For Elephants.

-And we're hoping that people won't know that he was in flashbacks,

I'm sure he was in flashbacks at the beginning of the film Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix.

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-The last...

-Order Of The Phoenix.

-OK, Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix,

we'll put last. Least likely to be pointless?

-The Godfather?

-The Godfather II.

-The Godfather II.

OK. Well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are.

Well, very best of luck.

Three good answers on the board, there, for actors called Robert.

What would you do with that jackpot if you were to win, now?

£1,500.

I'd quite like to go and see...

I'm a massive musicals fan, and I've never seen Les Miserables in the West End,

and it's one of my favourites, so I'd quite like to go and see that with friends.

Very good. Julia?

Well, Ellen's also hoping to learn to drive,

so maybe she might spend it on some driving lessons,

and I might let her spend it on that,

because I don't have to teach her to drive, then.

-So that might be...

-You might let her spend her half.

Or you might give her your half?

I wouldn't have to teach her to drive.

OK. Very good. Well, best of luck, as I say, three good answers.

The first answer was The Godfather: Part II.

In this case, we were looking for Robert Duvall films.

If this is pointless, it will win you £1,500.

How many of our 100 people said The Godfather: Part II?

Well, it's right.

Let's see how far down the column it goes.

If it goes all the way to zero,

obviously you will leave here with that jackpot of £1,500.

Down it goes, through the teens, into single figures.

Still going down...to three!

Three! For Robert Duvall's The Godfather: Part II.

APPLAUSE

That's a great score.

I think that bodes quite well for our 100 people and their intimate

knowledge of films. Who knows?

I don't know. Maybe it's just their knowledge of Robert Duvall films.

Only two more shots, though, at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was Water For Elephants.

In this case, we were looking for Robert Pattinson films.

Again, if it's pointless, it will win you £1,500.

Let's see how many people said Water For Elephants.

It's right.

Well, that little-known film, The Godfather: Part II

took us all the way down to three.

So, let's see how far down the column

we get with Water For Elephants.

We pass into single figures.

Eight.

APPLAUSE

OK.

I think our 100 people are more familiar with Robert Pattinson films

therefore than they are with Robert Duvall, but anyway, there we are,

still a nice low score.

You are banking on everyone having forgotten that he was in the fifth Harry Potter film.

-I'm doubting myself.

-That's because he only appeared in flashbacks.

Yeah, I think... Oh, God.

I'm doubting myself, now, but...

Your mother said you knew everything there was to know about Harry Potter.

Ellen, have faith.

If this is right, and if it's pointless, it will win you £1,500.

Let see how many of our 100 people named Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix

as a Robert Pattinson film.

If it's pointless, it will win you £1,500.

It is right.

There we are. That was the first thing it had to be.

The Godfather: Part II took us down to three,

Water For Elephants took us down to eight,

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix passes eight, down it goes,

passes three, down... Well done!

CHEERING

Superb! Very well done indeed. Brilliant!

Well, congratulations.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix was a pointless answer.

Which means, there we are, you shall learn to drive!

Fantastic. Very well done indeed.

You win that jackpot of £1,500.

Yeah, that's the way you win Pointless, Ellen.

Very well done. As you say,

he's literally in the tiny little flashback archive scenes

and credited at the end of it, and, you know, well,

your mum said you knew all about Harry Potter, and you do.

And someone's just paid you £1,500 because of it.

So, well done. Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

Robert Duvall, first, lots of big films,

pointless answers here.

The Godfather films

and Apocalypse Now were the big scorers for him.

Falling Down, The Judge also scored a few points.

Lots of pointless answers for him.

Robert Carlyle now.

Again, the scorers for him.

Full Monty was the biggest scorer, then Trainspotting, both big scorers, those.

28 Weeks Later, The Beach, The 51st State, The World Is Not Enough,

which is the Bond film that you mentioned would have scored you two points.

Plunkett And Macleane, which you were in, weren't you?

-Oh, yes.

-Ravenous and Flood, they all scored points as well.

But everything else is a pointless answer, so very well done if you said something else.

Robert Pattinson now. Four pointless answers for you.

The Twilight films were by far the biggest scorers in that category,

but you don't mind at all what scored what points,

because Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix was pointless.

Very well played.

Thanks very much, Richard. And thanks, once again, to our winning players, Julia and Ellen,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,500.

Very well done.

Join us next time, when we will be

putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.