Episode 54 Pointless


Episode 54

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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WHISTLING

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

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the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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And couple number one.

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Hello, I'm Steve, and this is my daughter Alice,

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and we're from Sheffield. Couple number two.

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Hi, I'm Craig, this is my friend Ricky, and we're from London.

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Couple number three.

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Hi, I'm Marian, this is my daughter Danielle, and we're from Essex.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hello, I'm Shahan, this is my friend Jack, and we're from Bristol.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you

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throughout the show as it goes along. So that just leaves

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one more person for me to introduce. Always with his head in a book,

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or down the bog... LAUGHTER

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..it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya. Hi, everybody. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Oh, that's a charming

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introduction, isn't it(?) I'm sorry. Honestly. I know.

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You know my mum watches this? Oh, she does.

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She's a big fan, big fan of yours.

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Is she? I think before the show started, she preferred me to you.

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I think now, you're very much, you're very much her favourite.

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I think, no disrespect to my mum, she'll be watching, I think she now

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thinks you're one of her children. Ah, that's lovely. She goes,

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'I saw Mat the other day, that was lovely, and I saw Alexander,

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'he was on television, and he's done well, hasn't he?'

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She doesn't, really. That's nice. No... She doesn't, really.

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Now, we've got one returning pair from the last show,

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Ricky and Craig, who got all the way through to the head-to-head,

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so going to be quite tough to beat.

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Kevin and Ramsey, who beat them in the head-to-head,

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then had, they had a very difficult, I would say endgame, didn't they?

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They did. Three incorrect answers, unfortunately, for them.

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But it would be lovely to give a jackpot away today, wouldn't it?

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That would be nice. Don't you think? I think it would...

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It's always nice to give away a jackpot, isn't it? Ah, always.

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And it gets nicer the bigger the jackpot gets, doesn't it?

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Well, imagine if we gave away ?1 million, that would be nice.

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But, because it's ?1,000 a show, we'd have to have 99,999...

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Do you know, we are nearly close? We have given away...

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I can't remember how many shows we've done...

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We've done, we had 954 shows.

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Is that really what we've done? Almost a million...

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No, we've given away over a million,

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cos think of the pointless answers.

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He's so good. What about that? GENTLE LAUGHTER

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I hadn't thought about the pointless answers.

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Also, what about the celebrity shows? Oh, yeah.

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Actually, no, they quite often don't win, do they, the celebrities?

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No, but then, we always give money to all the charities

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if they don't win, don't we? I...

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Again! Look at that, he's on it! My word. Yeah, we've given away

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over ?1 million, imagine if we decided just to do that in one go.

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I know. Today! Imagine if we decided,

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just today we'll do it for over a million quid.

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Let me see if we can do that.

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No, we can't do that.

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Never mind, never mind. LAUGHTER

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Now, thank you very much indeed, so, Kevin and Ramsey

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didn't win the jackpot last time, which means we add another

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?1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off...

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at ?2,000. There we are. APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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I have only this to say to you - the pair with the highest score

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at the end of each round will be eliminated.

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That's it, there's the cardinal rule of the game.

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Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this afternoon...

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is Famous People.

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Famous People. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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Famous JCs.

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Famous JCs, Richard.

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On each board we're going to show you seven clues to

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famous people whose initials are JC.

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Just give us the most obscure answer you can, please.

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There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home,

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so very best of luck. Thanks very much indeed.

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OK, so, let's reveal our first board of famous JCs, and here they are.

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I'm going to read all those again.

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Steve... Mm. ..a warm welcome here, from Sheffield. Thank you.

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What keeps you busy up in Sheffield, Steve?

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Er, play a bit of golf, badly,

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erm, cycle...

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like running,

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or I used to like running, but I've had to give up because of my knees.

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Erm, play a bit of tennis.

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Very good indeed. Steve, what do you make of this, this board of JCs?

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I think I know a few.

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Mm-hm. The one I'm going to plump for

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is the male US tennis player, Jimmy Connors.

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Jimmy Connors, says Steve, let's see if that's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people said Jimmy Connors.

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It's right.

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Good work, 32. APPLAUSE

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Great start to the show. 32 for Jimmy Connors.

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Very solid start, Steve. Well played, yeah, five US Opens,

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two Wimbledons, and an Australian Open for Jimmy Connors.

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There we are, thank you.

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Now, Ricky, welcome back. Thank you. Remind us what you do, Ricky.

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I'm a director at a PR agency.

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Is it...are you part of... did you set up the PR agency?

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I didn't set it up,

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but I've been working there for quite a long time, 11 years now.

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Very good. And your hobbies, Ricky.

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I like going to the cinema a lot, got a big

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collection of movies at home, as well, so yes, that would be

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my big, my big thing, really. OK, so hoping a movie round comes up

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on the show today. Yes. Now, Ricky, what about these JCs here?

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Well, yeah, I think I know a few of them, but with the film thing,

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I'm going to go for the director, which is James Cameron.

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James Cameron, says Ricky.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said James Cameron.

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It's right.

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32's our only score at this point.

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You've passed it, look at that.

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Ah, 16. APPLAUSE

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This is good scoring, Ricky. Well done, darling.

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16 for James Cameron.

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Yeah, also directed Avatar and Titanic as well,

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two of the biggest-grossing movies of all time.

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He's also been to the deepest place in the ocean

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in his submersible.

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He's obsessed with submersibles.

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You know, submarines.

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Yeah... Submarines to you and I.

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Yes, but submersibles, which go down miles under.

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Down to a trench. Yeah, he's been a long, long, long way down. Yeah...

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He got to the bottom. Did he? Got right to the bottom?

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Yeah... What did he do when he got there...? He cleaned the tiles.

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LAUGHTER Texted some people...

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It's so deep down, they haven't been cleaned for such a long time.

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They wouldn't be, they wouldn't have been. Thank you, Richard.

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Now, Marian. Hi. Welcome to Pointless, here from Essex.

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What do you do, Marian?

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I'm a support worker with people with learning disabilities.

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Excellent, and what do you get up to in your spare time?

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Erm, I do quizzes,

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I've got a quiz team, we go to quizzes when we can...

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How do you do generally, Marian? Do you come in the top half...?

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We've won over the years, we've been going about 20 years,

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so we've won a few... That's pretty good.

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Are you good at remembering stuff?

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When answers come, do you think, "Ooh, there's one"?

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Not when I'm nervous. No.

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MARIAN LAUGHS That's true.

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Marian, what would you like to go for on this board? Erm...

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I know two,

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and I'm trying to think which one would be the best one to go for.

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Erm, I think I'll go for the, erm, played in the 1966 World Cup-winning

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England football team alongside his brother, Bobby -

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Jackie Charlton. Jackie Charlton, says Marian.

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Jackie Charlton, let's see if that's right,

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and let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

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Ooh, 64.

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APPLAUSE

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Well, it's a lot better than 100, Marian. Yeah. 64.

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Yeah, absolutely,

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he played his entire club career with one club, Leeds United.

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Went on to manage Ireland. Extraordinary career he had.

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Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Shahan...

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Hi, Alex. ..welcome. Good to have you here.

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I'm just enjoying how well, that shirt you chose

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blends with the background, it's just, it's perfect.

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Thank you very much. Shahan, what do you do?

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I'm a data executive for a supply of office printers and photocopiers.

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Now, tell me what a data executive is. What do you do on a day-to-day?

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Well, most of my job consists of updating our database

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with new machines that our customers have recently installed

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or purchased, and it's my job to update the database

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with the right information, such as serial numbers,

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invoice, address, meter reads, etc.

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I did ask. There we are, good. LAUGHTER

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What do you do in your spare time, Shahan? What are your interests?

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One of my big passions is music,

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so I go to a lot of gigs and festivals,

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and more recently, I appeared in a music video.

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Did you? In what? For AC/DC.

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Where was that? And what?

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It was for their recent single, Rock Or Bust,

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which was filmed in London in 2014.

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And how come you ended up in the video?

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RICHARD LAUGHS

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They just posted an advert on Facebook.

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I love the way you said, "How did you get to appear in that video"

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in a way that said, "..and I didn't?"

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LAUGHTER

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It would've been fun!

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"How did you get to do that? I didn't hear about that!"

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Ah, and all the band were there. Yep. That's exciting.

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So, Shahan, this board is all yours. Would you like to talk us

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through it, fill in all those JCs that haven't yet been identified?

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Sure. The actor and stuntman who starred

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alongside Chris Tucker was Jackie Chan.

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The man who served as British Prime Minister from '76 to '79

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was James Callaghan.

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Erm, the man who created Gavin And Stacey with Ruth Jones

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was James Corden, and I have no idea who the writer is,

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so out of those three I've mentioned,

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I'm going to go with James Callaghan as who served

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as British Prime Minister. James Callaghan, says Shahan.

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Let's see if that's right,

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and let's see how many of 100 people agree with Shahan.

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It's right.

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47. APPLAUSE

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47, not bad.

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Took us through the board nicely as well, there.

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The top one, Jackie Chan, would've scored you more points,

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did well to avoid it.

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Jackie Chan would've scored you 63.

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A very low score for James Corden, surprisingly.

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I thought this would be higher,

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but he actually would've scored you 31 points.

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And the writer? Joseph Conrad. Joseph Conrad.

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And that would've scored you 20,

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so the best answer on the board there is James Cameron.

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Very well played. Thank you, Richard.

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We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

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Well, now, 16, Ricky and Craig. That's a lovely, low score.

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Then we travel up to 32, where we find Steve and Alice. Well done.

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Then up to 47, Shahan and Jack. And then 64, Marian and Danielle.

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You're not way ahead, but Danielle, let's have a nice low score

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from you. Let's hope that keeps you in the game.

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We're going to come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, we're going to put seven more famous JCs up on the board,

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and here they come.

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I'm going to read those all one last time.

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Jack, warm welcome to Pointless to you. Thank you.

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What do you do, Jack? I'm a supervisor in a retail store.

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And what do you get up to when you're not supervising?

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A lot of films and a lot of football.

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So playing, reading, writing, etc.

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And I run a social media account called Footballers With Animals.

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Footballers With Animals? Yeah. What's the best footballer/animal?

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My favourite is Duncan Ferguson with his pigeons.

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Aw! Lovely to get a photo of Duncan Ferguson with his pigeons.

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Has it got to the stage now where you go round with some animals,

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just in case a footballer comes along and you can just put

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the animal in the footballer's hands...?

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Or you go round with a footballer,

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just in case you come across an animal. That would be easier.

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Jack, you're on 47.

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You have to score 16 or less, to avoid becoming our new high-scorers.

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I knew a bit more on the previous board.

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And I'm trying to think which one of the ones I know is going to

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be the lowest.

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But I'm going to go for the 39th President of the United States,

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and that is Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter, says Jack.

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There is your red line, coming in now.

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Well, let's see how you do with Jimmy Carter.

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36. APPLAUSE

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That's not a bad score. 36, I think, will probably see you through.

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83 is your total. Well played, Jack. You're not a JC, are you, Jack?

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No, JM. Oh, you should have been here two days ago.

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That was a great round.

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Yeah, he won the Nobel Peace Prize as well,

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in 2002, Jimmy Carter, for his skills in diplomacy.

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Thank you, Richard.

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Now, Danielle, welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Danielle?

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I work at a wildlife hospital. Now, that's nice! Where's the hospital?

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It's in Essex.

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And do you just take in all animals that people bring?

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Mainly wildlife, but lots of waifs and strays and

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all sorts of weird and wonderful things.

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What's the strangest animal you've had? There's quite a long list.

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We've had a skunk. A rhea, which is a bit like an emu.

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Where did someone find a rhea? Erm...

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Out the back.

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LAUGHTER

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And what do you do when you leave the wildlife hospital?

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Well, it's normally pretty hectic, but I tend to just take my dogs out.

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I've got two little fluffy babies, and I relax, taking them out,

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walking in the woods and stuff. OK, Danielle. You're on 64.

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If you can score 18 or less, you're in to the next round.

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OK. I know two.

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And they're probably really high-scoring, but I'm going to go

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with the singer in the film Walk The Line, as Johnny Cash.

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Johnny Cash, says Danielle. Here is your red line.

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If you can get near to this red line with Johnny Cash,

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I think you should be all right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Johnny Cash.

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51. APPLAUSE

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51 takes your total up to 115.

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Yeah, he was Oscar nominated for that film, Joaquin Phoenix.

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I think Danielle should team up with Jack, shouldn't she?

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Surely there's a way you can get some footballers

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down to the animal hospital. Good publicity.

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If only you could find a footballer hospital.

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That's just a hospital.

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Yeah, I guess. It's a good idea though, isn't it? Yeah.

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Not bad. Not bad at all. Thank you, Richard. Now, Craig. Welcome back.

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Thank you. Remind us what you do, Craig. I work in PR.

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You work in the fun PR. Well, basically promoting movies

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and books and songs, and things like that.

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I work mostly from home, so I don't get out that much.

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Do you ever get to meet the people you're working for? No, not at all.

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No? You just do all the hard work and they swan about

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and get all the glory on the back of Craig's work. Pretty much.

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So when you're promoting a song, how do you do that?

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A lot of e-mailing people, calling people,

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just trying to get them to review it and get it in places.

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Satisfying when it works, presumably. Absolutely, of course.

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OK, now, Craig. You're on 16. Great answering skills from Ricky.

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If you can score 98 or less, you are through to Round Two.

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Mm-hm. I'd like to go for the British actress who starred in the

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films Billy Liar and Doctor Ziv-ay-go.

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Film PR, Craig. Doctor Zhivago! LAUGHTER

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OK, you're going to say for that one...? Julie Christie.

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Julie Christie, says Craig. Here is your red line.

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Look how nice and high that is. Let's just thank Ricky for that.

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Good skills there, Ricky, in the first pass.

0:17:260:17:28

OK, let's see how far down the column we get with Julie Christie.

0:17:280:17:32

It's right. Yay!

0:17:320:17:34

24. APPLAUSE

0:17:380:17:41

Our two lowest scores so far, taking your total up to 40. Very well done.

0:17:410:17:45

Great work, Craig. Yeah, it was her first major film role, Billy Liar.

0:17:450:17:49

Was it? Yeah. Obviously, she went on to huge stardom.

0:17:490:17:52

She used to be my landlady, briefly. No, she didn't.

0:17:520:17:54

Yes, she did. Did she really? She really, really did.

0:17:540:17:57

At your local pub? Or where you lived? In the local pub.

0:17:570:18:00

I can't see her behind the bar.

0:18:000:18:01

No, no. There was a flat that we rented for about eight months.

0:18:010:18:05

What? You and I?

0:18:050:18:07

Yes, I'm amazed you've forgotten. Oh, yes. I remember. Slightly hurt.

0:18:070:18:10

Oh, that was Julie Christie? Yes!

0:18:100:18:12

Oh, I didn't know. I thought it was Diana Rigg.

0:18:120:18:16

No, it was Julie Christie. Was she nice?

0:18:160:18:18

Couldn't have been more absent. Oh, really? Yeah.

0:18:180:18:21

Didn't have any trouble with her? I had none whatsoever.

0:18:210:18:23

Did you give her any trouble? None whatsoever.

0:18:230:18:26

That's good. Maybe she'll come on Pointless Celebrities one day.

0:18:260:18:29

I do hope so. That'd be nice. Yeah. Then you'd have a story

0:18:290:18:32

to tell her. Yeah! You'd say, "And, about the downstairs bathroom..."

0:18:320:18:38

Oh, yes. Thank you very much. Anyway, there we are. So, Alice.

0:18:380:18:42

Hello. Welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Alice?

0:18:420:18:45

I'm a training administrator, at a legal firm.

0:18:450:18:48

Right, I see. And what are your interests?

0:18:480:18:51

Likewise, I like going to gigs and, yeah, music generally,

0:18:510:18:55

and the cinema and going out walking and cycling in the Peak District.

0:18:550:19:00

I'm quite lucky. Very good, Alice. This board's all yours, if you want

0:19:000:19:04

to go through it and fill in those blanks, you're very welcome.

0:19:040:19:08

OK, I know the last three.

0:19:080:19:10

Jimmy Carr for the stand-up comedian and 8 Out Of 10 Cats.

0:19:100:19:16

Joan Collins for Alexis Carrington in Dynasty.

0:19:160:19:20

And the last one's Jim Carrey for Canadian film star.

0:19:200:19:25

I think I'm going to go for Jimmy Carr for the 8 Out Of 10 Cats.

0:19:250:19:30

OK, Jimmy Carr, says Alice. Here's your red line.

0:19:300:19:34

If you can get below that, you're into Round Two.

0:19:340:19:36

Let's see how many people said Jimmy Carr.

0:19:360:19:38

It's right, and you're through. Well done.

0:19:410:19:44

47. APPLAUSE

0:19:440:19:47

47 takes your total up to 79.

0:19:470:19:49

Well played, Alice.

0:19:500:19:52

Funnily enough, the bottom one is a much better scorer.

0:19:520:19:54

I think because the characters we've chosen there might be

0:19:540:19:56

slightly more obscure. It is Jim Carrey.

0:19:560:19:58

Only 14 points for him, so it would have been a very good answer.

0:19:580:20:00

The British actress is Joan Collins, of course.

0:20:000:20:04

That would've scored you 64.

0:20:040:20:06

And the British comic... Julian Clary. Julian Clary.

0:20:060:20:10

Would've scored you 22. It's funny, isn't it? We've got all those JCs.

0:20:100:20:13

Mm! And yet we've missed out the most important JC of all,

0:20:130:20:16

a man worshipped by millions and millions worldwide.

0:20:160:20:18

John Cleese. Jimmy Cricket.

0:20:180:20:20

Oh, right! LAUGHTER

0:20:200:20:21

So, at the end of our first round,

0:20:210:20:23

the pair who are heading home with a high score of 115,

0:20:230:20:25

I'm so sorry Danielle and Marian, it is you.

0:20:250:20:28

You've just arrived. We are sending you away almost indecently soon,

0:20:280:20:31

but we'll see you again next time. Look forward to it very much indeed.

0:20:310:20:34

Meantime, thanks very much, Danielle and Marian.

0:20:340:20:37

APPLAUSE

0:20:370:20:38

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:20:400:20:44

APPLAUSE

0:20:440:20:46

Look at that, we've all made it into Round Two. Very good going indeed.

0:20:480:20:52

Congratulations, Ricky. Lowest score of that round.

0:20:520:20:55

Congratulations, Craig, for wearing something that matches Ricky

0:20:550:20:58

so well, by the way. Hadn't spotted that in the first round.

0:20:580:21:01

Best of luck for all three pairs.

0:21:010:21:02

Our category for Round Two this afternoon...

0:21:020:21:04

is Geography. Geography.

0:21:040:21:06

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

0:21:060:21:08

who's going to go second?

0:21:080:21:10

And, whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

0:21:100:21:12

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

0:21:150:21:17

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

0:21:170:21:21

Countries whose names end in -RIA or -NIA. Richard.

0:21:280:21:31

Yeah, we're looking for any country in the world whose name ends

0:21:310:21:34

-RIA or -NIA, please.

0:21:340:21:35

It has to be a one-word country, though. As always, by country,

0:21:350:21:38

we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

0:21:380:21:41

So very, very best of luck. Thank you, Richard.

0:21:410:21:43

Now, Steve.

0:21:430:21:46

I've got one. Albania.

0:21:460:21:48

Albania, says Steve. Let's see how our 100 rate Albania.

0:21:480:21:52

Oh, it's good.

0:22:000:22:02

Oh, it's good. Very well done, Steve.

0:22:020:22:04

16 for Albania. Wonderful start to the round.

0:22:040:22:07

Well played, Steve.

0:22:070:22:08

Yeah, its international airport was named after Mother Theresa.

0:22:080:22:11

Oh, that is nice. That is nice. She was a huge fan of planes.

0:22:110:22:14

She used to go and spot planes. Oh, she loved them.

0:22:140:22:18

Absolutely loved them.

0:22:180:22:19

Had she been to the airport? Was she there to open it, maybe?

0:22:190:22:23

Well, she flew in there often,

0:22:230:22:24

she was a commercial pilot in her later years.

0:22:240:22:26

Of course, she was, yes. Thank you, Richard. Ricky.

0:22:260:22:30

I immediately got drawn to the name of a fictional country,

0:22:300:22:33

but I'm obviously too...

0:22:330:22:35

Yes, not yet recognised by the UN. No, not at this moment.

0:22:350:22:38

So, I'm going to go with Tanzania.

0:22:380:22:40

Tanzania, says Ricky.

0:22:400:22:42

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tanzania.

0:22:420:22:44

It's right.

0:22:480:22:49

19. Well done. APPLAUSE

0:22:530:22:55

19 for Tanzania.

0:22:550:22:58

Now, you jest, Ricky, but do you know what?

0:22:580:23:00

Three of our 100 said Narnia. They really did.

0:23:000:23:03

Shahan. Hi, Alex.

0:23:040:23:06

Yeah, sticking with the African continent,

0:23:060:23:09

I'm going to pick Liberia.

0:23:090:23:11

Shahan is going with Liberia.

0:23:110:23:13

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Shahan.

0:23:130:23:15

Well, 19 is our high score. 16 is our low.

0:23:210:23:24

You've passed all of them!

0:23:240:23:26

Look at that, Shahan. 9 for Liberia.

0:23:260:23:28

APPLAUSE

0:23:280:23:29

Well played, Shahan. Yeah, in western Africa.

0:23:310:23:33

It's Africa's oldest republic, Liberia. I bet you didn't know that.

0:23:330:23:37

I did not know that. Thanks very much.

0:23:370:23:39

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

0:23:390:23:41

9 the best score of that pass, Shahan. Very well done.

0:23:410:23:44

16 is where we find Steve and Alice.

0:23:440:23:46

And in a rare moment of Ricky and Craig being the high-scorers.

0:23:460:23:48

I don't know what's going on there, but, Craig, you're going to have to

0:23:480:23:52

satisfy the unities and come up with a nice low score in the next pass.

0:23:520:23:55

Oh, God. So, good luck with that.

0:23:550:23:56

We're going to come back down the line now.

0:23:560:23:58

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:23:580:24:01

Still looking for the name of any one-word country

0:24:030:24:07

ending in -NIA or -RIA.

0:24:070:24:09

Now then, Jack. Liberia was actually going to be my answer.

0:24:090:24:14

You're on the same team, though. So, it's still working for you.

0:24:140:24:17

No, no, it's fine. Yeah, it's all right. So, there we are.

0:24:170:24:19

Shahan did very well there.

0:24:190:24:20

If you can score another 9, like Shahan, it'll be good. Yeah.

0:24:200:24:23

And also it'll see you through. Yeah.

0:24:230:24:26

I'm going to move away from Africa. Oh! And I'm going to go for Armenia.

0:24:260:24:29

OK, Armenia, says Jack. Here is your red line. It's quite low.

0:24:290:24:32

If you can get below that red line with Armenia,

0:24:320:24:34

you're into the head-to-head.

0:24:340:24:36

Oh! You've done it, 8!

0:24:440:24:46

APPLAUSE

0:24:460:24:48

Lowest score so far. It takes your total up to 17.

0:24:480:24:51

Terrific stuff, Jack, yeah. Safe and sound at that last podium.

0:24:510:24:55

Armenia as it is now, modern Armenia,

0:24:550:24:57

is just a tiny part of what was ancient Armenia.

0:24:570:24:59

One of the first kind of cradles of civilisation. That's nice.

0:24:590:25:02

It is nice, isn't it? Yeah.

0:25:020:25:04

I like that civilisation has a cradle as well,

0:25:040:25:06

because a lot of things don't get a cradle.

0:25:060:25:09

I say it was a cradle, it was more of a hammock. That'll do.

0:25:090:25:13

Thank you, Richard. Now, Craig.

0:25:130:25:16

Craig, you're on 19, you're the high-scorers. Mm.

0:25:160:25:18

We need a very low score from you.

0:25:180:25:20

I don't think we're going to get that from me.

0:25:200:25:23

Geography is my worst subject. Absolutely useless at it.

0:25:230:25:27

There was only one country I could think of other than Narnia,

0:25:270:25:31

and it's Syria. Syria, says Craig.

0:25:310:25:35

No red line for you, as you're the high-scorers.

0:25:350:25:37

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Syria.

0:25:370:25:40

It's right. Thank God, I thought I spelt it wrong.

0:25:420:25:46

19. You equal Ricky's score. This is good. 38 is your total.

0:25:500:25:54

Yeah, a lot of matching other people's scores going on here. Mm.

0:25:540:25:57

Damascus, which is the capital of Syria,

0:25:570:25:59

one of the oldest continually habited cities in the world.

0:25:590:26:02

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Alice.

0:26:020:26:05

Yeah.

0:26:050:26:07

Alice, listen, you have a target here, which I think is achievable.

0:26:070:26:10

I don't know how good your geography is or how good your knowledge

0:26:100:26:14

of countries ending in these letters is,

0:26:140:26:17

but if you can score 21 or less, Alice, you are in the head-to-head.

0:26:170:26:24

No, geography's not great for me. OK.

0:26:240:26:27

I think I'm going to have to go for Bulgaria and hope that the

0:26:270:26:30

spelling's right, because I've got no idea.

0:26:300:26:33

Bulgaria, says Alice. There is your red line.

0:26:330:26:36

If you can get below that red line with Bulgaria,

0:26:360:26:37

you are through to the next round. How many people said Bulgaria?

0:26:370:26:40

Oh, no, 26! GROANING

0:26:480:26:51

You needed 21. I'm afraid you got 26. That takes your total up to 42.

0:26:510:26:56

Yeah, sorry, Alice.

0:26:560:26:58

It feels like there should be loads of answers for this.

0:26:580:27:00

There's actually only 15 countries in the world with

0:27:000:27:02

a one-word name ending in one of those two endings.

0:27:020:27:04

And you all managed to avoid the top three. It was very impressive.

0:27:040:27:07

So, I'll go through all of them. There's no pointless answers at all.

0:27:070:27:10

The best answer you could've got was Macedonia,

0:27:100:27:12

which would have scored you 3. 4 points for Mauritania.

0:27:120:27:15

8 for Slovenia.

0:27:150:27:18

You'd have got 15 for Estonia. Estonia would've seen you through.

0:27:180:27:21

Algeria would've seen you through on 16. Lithuania on 16 as well.

0:27:210:27:24

Then the top three, let's take a look at them,

0:27:240:27:27

the ones that most of our 100 people said when we asked them online.

0:27:270:27:30

Thank you very much, Richard. So, at the end of that second round,

0:27:370:27:40

the pair we have to say goodbye to, I'm afraid,

0:27:400:27:43

is Alice and Steve with their high score.

0:27:430:27:44

Not that high, actually, 42.

0:27:440:27:46

Pretty good, but it just is the highest of the scores we have.

0:27:460:27:49

So, I'm afraid, we have to say goodbye at this point,

0:27:490:27:51

but we'll see you again next time. Look forward to that.

0:27:510:27:53

Meantime, thanks very much Alice and Steve.

0:27:530:27:55

APPLAUSE

0:27:550:27:56

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:27:580:28:02

Well done, Ricky and Craig, Jack and Shahan.

0:28:070:28:09

You're now one step closer to the final, and a chance to play for

0:28:090:28:12

our jackpot, which currently stands at ?2,000.

0:28:120:28:15

There we are.

0:28:150:28:17

Well, you know what happens here.

0:28:190:28:20

You start playing as a team, chat before you give your answer.

0:28:200:28:23

First player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:28:230:28:26

Well, Ricky and Craig, you've gone one up from last time.

0:28:260:28:29

You were in the head-to-head, but you were the blue couple last time.

0:28:290:28:32

Now, you're the golden couple. Our lowest scoring pair.

0:28:320:28:34

So, very well done. Jack and Shahan,

0:28:340:28:36

we've had great answers from you throughout this show.

0:28:360:28:38

I think you should give them a good match for their money.

0:28:380:28:41

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:28:410:28:44

Here's your first question, and it concerns...

0:28:470:28:51

Famous people with the surname Williams.

0:28:530:28:55

Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now of people

0:28:550:28:57

who share the surname Williams.

0:28:570:29:00

You just need to tell us the most obscure of these five, please.

0:29:000:29:03

OK, thanks, Rich. Let's reveal our five Williams, and here they are.

0:29:030:29:06

There we are, five people with the surname Williams.

0:29:270:29:31

Ricky and Craig, you will go first.

0:29:310:29:32

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:29:320:29:35

E... No, I don't know.

0:29:410:29:43

We're quite torn, trying to decide which is the most obscure one,

0:29:430:29:47

because we think we know four of the five.

0:29:470:29:51

But I think we will go for D, Billy Dee Williams.

0:29:510:29:56

D, Billy Dee Williams, say Ricky and Craig.

0:29:560:30:00

Now, Jack and Shahan, talk us through the rest of those Williams

0:30:000:30:03

if you like.

0:30:030:30:05

We're sure on three of them, and they're still up there.

0:30:050:30:09

You can talk through all of them. A is Maisie Williams.

0:30:090:30:13

B is Robbie Williams. C is Pharrell Williams.

0:30:130:30:17

And then if I had to guess at E,

0:30:170:30:19

I wouldn't, I'd guess Tennessee Williams,

0:30:190:30:21

but I'm not sure on that one.

0:30:210:30:24

We'll go for A, Maisie Williams. A, Maisie Williams.

0:30:240:30:26

So, Billy Dee Williams, Maisie Williams.

0:30:260:30:29

Ricky and Craig went for Billy Dee Williams

0:30:290:30:31

for D, let's see if that's right.

0:30:310:30:33

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:30:330:30:35

It's right.

0:30:370:30:39

Oh, that's good. That's good! 13 for Billy Dee Williams.

0:30:430:30:47

Jack and Shahan, meanwhile, have gone for A and said Maisie Williams.

0:30:500:30:54

Let's see if that right.

0:30:540:30:55

Let's see how many of our 100 people got Maisie Williams.

0:30:550:30:58

It is Maisie Williams.

0:31:010:31:02

Ooh, 16! That's close.

0:31:060:31:10

My goodness, very well done, both pairs.

0:31:100:31:12

But, Ricky and Craig, well done to you.

0:31:120:31:14

You win the point, and after one question, you're up 1-0.

0:31:140:31:17

Yeah, very good answer. Maisie Williams there from Game Of Thrones.

0:31:170:31:20

And, of course, Billy Dee Williams is Lando Calrissian in Star Wars.

0:31:200:31:23

Now, there is an answer that would have beaten Billy Dee Williams.

0:31:230:31:26

It's not B, that is, of course, Robbie Williams.

0:31:260:31:29

And he would have scored you 94 points.

0:31:290:31:33

That's some going for Robbie.

0:31:330:31:35

C, of course, is Pharrell Williams.

0:31:350:31:38

He would have scored 57. But E would've won you the point.

0:31:380:31:42

And E, Jack, is Tennessee Williams.

0:31:420:31:45

THEY GROAN

0:31:450:31:46

That would've scored you 4. There we go. Thank you very much.

0:31:460:31:49

Here comes your second question, Jack and Shahan.

0:31:490:31:52

You get to answer this one first,

0:31:520:31:53

but you need to win it to stay in the game.

0:31:530:31:56

So, good luck. It concerns...

0:31:560:31:59

Acting Knights and Dames, Richard. Yeah, we're going to show you

0:31:590:32:03

the names of five Dames or Knights who are actors,

0:32:030:32:05

but we've put them in anagram form.

0:32:050:32:07

Can you tell us who they are, please?

0:32:070:32:09

We've left the word Sir or Dame off the anagram.

0:32:090:32:11

OK, let's reveal our acting Dames and Knights, and here they are.

0:32:110:32:15

I'll read those one last time.

0:32:240:32:26

There we are.

0:32:350:32:36

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:32:360:32:39

THEY SIGH

0:32:430:32:45

Yeah, we kind of struggled on this round.

0:32:450:32:48

There's only one we could think of and that's Ken Being Sly,

0:32:480:32:52

which is Ben Kingsley.

0:32:520:32:54

Ben Kingsley, say Jack and Shahan. Ben Kingsley.

0:32:540:32:57

Now, Ricky and Craig, do you fancy having a shot at all the other ones,

0:32:570:33:01

see how many you can get? Probably not a shot at all of them.

0:33:010:33:04

But the first one, we think is Maggie Smith.

0:33:040:33:07

We can't think of any of the others. You're going to go for Maggie Smith.

0:33:070:33:10

We're going to go with that. So we have Ben Kingsley,

0:33:100:33:12

and we have Maggie Smith. Jack and Shahan went Ben Kingsley.

0:33:120:33:15

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people got it.

0:33:150:33:18

APPLAUSE 32.

0:33:260:33:29

32 for Ben Kingsley.

0:33:290:33:32

Ricky and Craig, meanwhile, have gone for Maggie Smith

0:33:320:33:34

for Hammiest Gig.

0:33:340:33:35

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:33:350:33:38

It's right.

0:33:400:33:41

Oh, and it wins it.

0:33:440:33:46

By a margin. Look at that. 7 for Maggie Smith.

0:33:460:33:49

Very, very well done. APPLAUSE

0:33:490:33:51

That means, Ricky and Craig, after only two questions,

0:33:510:33:54

you're straight through to the final 2-0.

0:33:540:33:56

Yeah, Ben Kingsley, the biggest scorer up there, actually. Wow.

0:33:560:34:00

Have you got C? No, I haven't.

0:34:000:34:03

C is Michael Caine. Right.

0:34:030:34:05

Would have scored you 17.

0:34:050:34:06

Well, we'll go for the bottom one.

0:34:060:34:08

Thora Hird. Dame Thora Hird.

0:34:080:34:09

Of course it is. 15 points for that.

0:34:090:34:12

And have you got this fourth one?

0:34:120:34:15

I'll tell you now, it's a pointless answer.

0:34:150:34:17

Very well done at home if you said Dame Kristin Scott Thomas.

0:34:170:34:21

Oh, of course it is.

0:34:210:34:23

You think being long, it'd be easier.

0:34:230:34:25

No, they're hard because it's too many letters,

0:34:250:34:27

you can't get little patterns and things.

0:34:270:34:29

Very well done if you said that at home. Thanks very much.

0:34:290:34:31

I'm afraid the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round

0:34:310:34:34

is Jack and Shahan. I'm so sorry.

0:34:340:34:36

Nothing wrong with either of your answers there.

0:34:360:34:38

Maisie Williams so nearly won you that first question.

0:34:380:34:41

Anyway, the good news is you'll be back next time.

0:34:410:34:43

We look forward to that very much indeed.

0:34:430:34:45

But, in the meantime, thanks very much, Jack and Shahan.

0:34:450:34:47

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:34:470:34:51

But for Ricky and Craig, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:510:34:54

Congratulations, Ricky and Craig. You've seen off all the competition

0:34:580:35:01

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:010:35:04

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:35:100:35:12

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at ?2,000.

0:35:120:35:15

There it is.

0:35:150:35:17

APPLAUSE

0:35:170:35:20

Well, well done. There's no argument.

0:35:200:35:22

Sometimes people, it's a bit of a fluke, they get into the

0:35:220:35:24

head-to-head and sort of walk backwards into the final.

0:35:240:35:26

Not this time. You've been in the head-to-head twice.

0:35:260:35:29

No accident there.

0:35:290:35:30

You've done very well on both shows you've been on.

0:35:300:35:33

2-0 in the head-to-head this last time. No arguing with that.

0:35:330:35:36

Always an impressive score.

0:35:360:35:38

Usually bodes quite well for this round,

0:35:380:35:40

obviously pending a category you like the look of.

0:35:400:35:43

What do you want to see up there today?

0:35:430:35:45

Anything entertainment related - movies, music.

0:35:450:35:47

About Su Pollard. LAUGHTER

0:35:470:35:50

Oh, we're always... We've had her on that board.

0:35:500:35:52

I'm afraid she just went.

0:35:520:35:54

A number of times. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Best of luck.

0:35:540:35:56

Let's see what today's choices look like. We have got...

0:35:560:36:00

Mm. House of Lords.

0:36:100:36:11

I think that the House of Lords would be one.

0:36:110:36:13

Craig knows his politics. So does Ricky.

0:36:130:36:16

The number 12 in film, you know, we like our movies.

0:36:160:36:19

Rugby wouldn't be a good one for us,

0:36:190:36:20

and the singer-songwriters, we might have a bit of luck with that one.

0:36:200:36:24

So... What one do you want, then?

0:36:240:36:26

Shall we just...? Shall we go with the House of Lords first?

0:36:260:36:29

I think we should just give it a crack, yeah. OK.

0:36:290:36:32

House of Lords. Rich. Good for you, gents.

0:36:320:36:34

We've got three questions here. I hope one of these suits you.

0:36:340:36:37

We are looking for any of the following, please.

0:36:370:36:39

We're looking for the name of any bishop who sits in

0:36:390:36:42

the House of Lords as of July 2015,

0:36:420:36:43

either their title or their name, whichever you prefer.

0:36:430:36:47

We're looking for anyone who has been an MP who is now

0:36:470:36:49

a Labour peer, an official Labour peer in the House of Lords,

0:36:490:36:53

again, as of July 2015.

0:36:530:36:55

They must be representing the Labour Party in the Lords.

0:36:550:36:57

Or any former MP who is now a Conservative peer in the

0:36:570:37:00

House of Lords. Again, title is acceptable, or their full name.

0:37:000:37:04

So any bishops, any Labour peers who are former MPs or any Tory peers

0:37:040:37:07

who are former MPs, sitting in the House of Lords in July 2015.

0:37:070:37:12

Very best of luck. OK. Now, as always,

0:37:120:37:14

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

0:37:140:37:16

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

0:37:160:37:19

to be pointless. Are you ready? Yes.

0:37:190:37:22

OK. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:37:220:37:26

There they are. You time starts now.

0:37:260:37:28

Neil Kinnock would be an obvious one

0:37:280:37:30

from the Labour perspective. Yes, absolutely.

0:37:300:37:32

I'm struggling to think of any Conservative ones. I know,

0:37:320:37:34

I was really hoping it was going to be Lib Dems. Is...?

0:37:340:37:37

I keep thinking Floella Benjamin, for some reason.

0:37:370:37:39

She's Lib Dem, definitely. Oh, OK.

0:37:390:37:41

The Archbishop of Canterbury.

0:37:410:37:43

I mean, that's not going to be pointless.

0:37:430:37:45

But I have no idea if he's even in the House of Lords.

0:37:450:37:48

I'm thinking this was probably not the best topic to pick. Oh, my God.

0:37:480:37:50

Conservative peers. Erm... I just can't...

0:37:500:37:54

I'm really struggling. I thought I'd be able to think of more.

0:37:540:37:57

Is there one who's in the paper this week? What's his name? Lord Sewer?

0:37:570:38:00

Lord Sewel. Lord Sewel.

0:38:000:38:01

What's his first name? I don't think we need to know

0:38:010:38:03

their first name. But Lord Sewel,

0:38:030:38:05

Neil Kinnock. Neil Kinnock.

0:38:050:38:07

Is Glenys Kinnock a peer as well?

0:38:070:38:08

I don't know. I'm not sure.

0:38:080:38:11

I think we should probably think of her. Yes.

0:38:110:38:14

I'm just thinking of bishops. I just can't think of any.

0:38:140:38:16

10 seconds left.

0:38:160:38:18

I'm totally, totally out of ideas.

0:38:180:38:20

No, I'm a bit stumped. I thought we'd know more.

0:38:200:38:23

OK, we'll say those three, then. Yeah, OK.

0:38:230:38:25

OK, your time is up. Let's have your three answers.

0:38:270:38:29

What are you going to go for? OK. We're going to go with

0:38:290:38:31

the Archbishop of Canterbury. The Archbishop of Canterbury. OK.

0:38:310:38:34

Neil Kinnock. Neil Kinnock.

0:38:340:38:35

And Glenys Kinnock. And Glenys Kinnock.

0:38:350:38:37

OK. Of those three, your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:370:38:40

Glenys Kinnock? Glenys Kinnock goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

0:38:400:38:43

Archbishop of Canterbury. Archbishop of Canterbury. We've got

0:38:430:38:46

Neil Kinnock in the middle. OK. Well, let's put those answers

0:38:460:38:48

on the board in that order, then, and here they are.

0:38:480:38:50

Well, very best of luck. Three answers on the board.

0:38:550:38:57

What if one of those turned out to be pointless - you never know -

0:38:570:39:01

what would you do with your prize money?

0:39:010:39:03

Two grand, it's quite a nice jackpot to be taking home. Ricky?

0:39:030:39:05

I could do with a new kitchen in my flat

0:39:050:39:08

so I think it would go towards that. Craig?

0:39:080:39:10

I would probably spend it on treats for my cats.

0:39:100:39:14

LAUGHTER They're very spoiled.

0:39:140:39:16

Lucky cats.

0:39:160:39:18

OK. Well, the Archbishop of Canterbury was your first answer.

0:39:180:39:20

In this case we were looking for bishops sitting in

0:39:200:39:22

the House of Lords. Let's find out if it's right,

0:39:220:39:25

and if it is pointless, it will win you ?2,000.

0:39:250:39:27

How many people said the Archbishop of Canterbury?

0:39:270:39:30

Well, it's right. Hey.

0:39:330:39:34

Well, all it has to do now is go down to 0,

0:39:360:39:37

and you can leave here with ?2,000.

0:39:370:39:39

Down we go through the 30s, into the 20s, into the teens.

0:39:390:39:43

11.

0:39:430:39:44

APPLAUSE I'm amazed!

0:39:440:39:46

A lot of people didn't get that.

0:39:460:39:48

The most senior figure in the Anglican Church.

0:39:480:39:51

There we are, scores 11. OK.

0:39:510:39:53

Not a pointless answer, therefore.

0:39:530:39:55

Let's find out. Your next answer was Neil Kinnock.

0:39:550:39:58

In this case, we were looking for Labour peers who are ex-MPs.

0:39:580:40:00

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

0:40:000:40:02

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Neil Kinnock, for ?2,000.

0:40:020:40:06

Well, it's right.

0:40:100:40:11

Your first answer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, took us down to 11.

0:40:110:40:15

Neil Kinnock now taking us down through the teens, into single...

0:40:150:40:19

Not quite into single figures.

0:40:190:40:21

APPLAUSE 10.

0:40:210:40:25

Hey, look. We are moving in the right direction.

0:40:250:40:27

We've gone from 11 down to 10. This is good.

0:40:270:40:30

Your third and final answer was Glenys Kinnock.

0:40:300:40:32

We have to find out if it's right,

0:40:320:40:34

then we have to find out if it's pointless.

0:40:340:40:36

If it's both of those things, you'll leave here with ?2,000.

0:40:360:40:38

How many of our 100 people named Glenys Kinnock as a Labour peer?

0:40:380:40:42

No. Bad luck.

0:40:460:40:48

Bad luck, Ricky and Craig. I'm sorry.

0:40:480:40:51

That was a tough board. Yeah. That was a really tough board.

0:40:510:40:53

But it was punchy to go for the House of Lords.

0:40:530:40:56

And, who knows? There might have been...

0:40:560:40:57

You thought if it had been Lib Dems, you'd have been on safer ground.

0:40:570:41:00

Well, we were floating Floella Benjamin.

0:41:000:41:02

Yeah. Baroness Benjamin. Baroness Benjamin, yeah.

0:41:020:41:05

Well, I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important

0:41:050:41:07

pointless answer, so you don't win today's jackpot of ?2,000.

0:41:070:41:10

That will roll over on to the next show.

0:41:100:41:12

But it's been great having you on both shows.

0:41:120:41:14

And, as I said, a strong performance across both.

0:41:140:41:16

And you get a Pointless trophy. Very, very well done. Exactly.

0:41:160:41:18

Yeah. Thank you. Ricky and Craig.

0:41:180:41:20

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:41:200:41:23

Yeah, terrific performance.

0:41:260:41:27

Head-to-head last time, jackpot round this time.

0:41:270:41:29

I think a slight change of tactics could have won you the money here.

0:41:290:41:32

Glenys Kinnock, same as Floella Benjamin,

0:41:320:41:34

wasn't an MP, so doesn't count, I'm afraid.

0:41:340:41:38

Now, the bishops.

0:41:380:41:39

This is one of those rounds where you'd have won ?2,000

0:41:390:41:42

just for telling us where you live,

0:41:420:41:43

because let's take a look at the pointless answers.

0:41:430:41:46

You could have had the Bishop of Birmingham, Bishop of Bristol,

0:41:500:41:53

Bishop of Carlisle, Bishop of Chelmsford,

0:41:530:41:55

Bishop of Chester, Bishop of Derby, Bishop of Ely,

0:41:550:41:57

Bishop of Leeds, Bishop of Leicester, Bishop of Lichfield,

0:41:570:42:00

Bishop of Norwich, Bishop of Peterborough,

0:42:000:42:03

Bishop of Portsmouth, Bishop of Rochester,

0:42:030:42:05

Bishop of Sheffield, Bishop of St Albans,

0:42:050:42:07

Bishop of Truro, and Bishop of Worcester.

0:42:070:42:09

All of those are pointless answers.

0:42:090:42:11

Have you ever said the word "bishop" too often?

0:42:110:42:13

Now, Labour peers. There's some big names on this list.

0:42:130:42:17

Let's take a look at a few of them.

0:42:170:42:19

In fact, every single Labour peer who's been an MP other than

0:42:230:42:26

John Prescott, Neil Kinnock and Roy Hattersley,

0:42:260:42:29

everybody else is a pointless answer. Lots of big names.

0:42:290:42:31

Jack Cunningham, Paul Boateng, George Robertson, Alf Dubs.

0:42:310:42:34

All sorts of names there.

0:42:340:42:35

And the Conservative peers, again, some very big names here.

0:42:350:42:38

Bigger names, really.

0:42:380:42:40

Everybody there apart from Norman Tebbit, Michael Heseltine,

0:42:440:42:47

Nigel Lawson, Sebastian Coe, and Douglas Hurd.

0:42:470:42:49

Every other ex-Tory MP who is now in the House of Lords

0:42:490:42:52

was a pointless answer.

0:42:520:42:53

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

0:42:530:42:55

and tough luck in the studio.

0:42:550:42:57

Thanks so much, Richard.

0:42:570:42:58

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Ricky and Craig.

0:42:580:43:01

It's been wonderful having you on the show.

0:43:010:43:03

Thank you so much for playing. Ricky and Craig. Thank you.

0:43:030:43:05

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:43:050:43:08

Well, Ricky and Craig didn't win our jackpot today, which means

0:43:080:43:11

it rolls over on to the next show, when we'll be playing for ?3,000.

0:43:110:43:14

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

0:43:140:43:16

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard... Goodbye.

0:43:160:43:18

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:180:43:20

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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