Episode 55 Pointless


Episode 55

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

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and a very warm welcome to Pointless, the show where obvious

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answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi, I'm Ellis. This is my friend Ellen. We're from Staffordshire.

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Couple number two.

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Hi, I'm Jack. This is my friend Shahan. And we're from Bristol.

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-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Alice. This is my dad, Steve.

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-And we're from Sheffield.

-And finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Danielle. This is my mother, Marian. And we're from Essex.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much, all of you. A warm welcome to the show.

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We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

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So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce,

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the only person to get trolled on Twitter about the Ryder Cup golf

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AND the novels of Barbara Cartland. It's my Pointless friend.

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-It's Richard.

-Hiya.

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-APPLAUSE

-Hi, everybody.

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-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Some familiar faces here.

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-Three returning pairs from the last show.

-Mm!

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They're lining up in order of how well they did as well.

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On podium four, Danielle and Marian, who got knocked out in Round One.

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Fingers crossed we'll see a bit more of you today.

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Alice and Steve, who made it through to the heady heights of

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Round Two on podium three there.

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And then the gentlemen on podium two there, Jack and Shahan,

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who got all the way through to the head-to-head.

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Got knocked out by Ricky and Craig.

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And on podium one... Our only newcomers are on podium one.

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Thank you for leading us off, Ellis and Ellen.

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So it should be a lot of fun.

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Round One is one of your favourites.

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-ALEXANDER SIGHS Thank you.

-Especially for you.

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-Thank you.

-My little gift to you.

-Oh.

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I don't know what it is, but how nice. Let's unwrap it in a second.

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Thanks very much.

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So, Ricky and Craig didn't win the jackpot last time,

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so we add another £1,000 to that.

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So today's jackpot starts off at £3,000.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

-There we are.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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OK, all you have to remember is this - the pair with the lowest score

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at the end of each round will be eliminated.

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Keep your scores nice and low and you should be fine.

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Our first category this afternoon...

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It's Words. A Words round.

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Can you all decide in your pairs

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who's going first, who's going second?

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And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

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..as they could.

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Words ending in A-L-E.

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We are looking for any word in the English language,

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according to oxforddictionary.com, that ends A-L-E as of July 2015.

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As always, no proper nouns,

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no hyphenated words and we won't accept the word ale.

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All right, thank you very much. Ellen, welcome.

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Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Ellen?

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I am a student and I also work part-time in a supermarket.

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-I see. So, where are you a student?

-Wolverhampton University.

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I see. What are you studying?

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I'm doing education and religious studies.

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-I see. What year are you in?

-I'm going into my third year.

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I see. OK, very good.

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And how is working in the supermarket?

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-It's fantastic.

-Oh, really?

-It is.

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Are you allowed to take anything home from the supermarket?

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Only if you pay for it.

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LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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I said...

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I was thinking maybe, at the end of the day,

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some of those cakes are going to be a little bit...

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They're not going to be at their freshest.

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That might be the time you're allowed to take some cakes home.

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It was that, wasn't it, that made it look so dodgy?

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-Ellen, you're shocked.

-Man, Ellen has got your number.

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I'm stunned...at such a suggestion.

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Do you know what, Ellen? I'm stunned as well.

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Do you know what? How dare you!

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The only new pair on the whole show, this is how you begin?

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This is how you greet people, accusing them of theft?

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, Ellen, I'm sorry. So what is your job at the supermarket?

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I display labels and promotions, things like that.

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That's nice. You arrange things?

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-Or is it just mainly labels and things?

-Many, many labels.

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Many, many labels, OK. Now, Ellen, words ending A-L-E?

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I've only got one in my head, and I'm pretty sure Ellis is going

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-to go crazy...

-One is enough.

-..cos I'm not sure if it's hyphenated.

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I'm going to say fairytale.

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-Fairytale.

-Yeah.

-OK. Fairytale. I can see it in both ways.

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I think it will be good. It could have a "fairytale" ending, this.

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-Or not.

-Certainly got an A-L-E ending.

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Let's see, fairytale, is it right? How many of our 100 people said it?

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-Ellen...

-Sorry!

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No, that was wrong for the right reason, though.

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We like those sorts of wrong answers.

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-But I'm afraid it is wrong. It scores you 100 points.

-It is.

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Yeah, sorry, Ellen.

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Not even hyphenated, just two words, I'm afraid.

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-But, you know what, you could sort of see it as one word.

-Yeah.

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It's not ridiculous, is it?

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-Jack, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Head-to-headers last time.

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Did very well.

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Got to be hoping to do as well, if not a little bit better, this time.

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-Remind us what you do, Jack.

-I'm a supervisor in a retail store.

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And what do you like getting up to? What are the things that thrill you?

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A lot of films and a lot of football.

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Other things as well, but a lot of football.

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Being very cagey about these other things, isn't he?

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-LAUGHTER

-I tell you what...

-Yeah.

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Just to draw him out of himself, why don't you accuse him of theft?

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LAUGHTER

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Did you pay for that shirt, Jack? LAUGHTER

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I stole it from a supermarket.

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OK.

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Phewee!

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Jack, what would you like to go for?

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I can't really think of that many words,

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so I'm going to go with stale.

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Stale, says Jack.

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OK, let's see how many of our 100 people went with stale.

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It's a nice safe answer.

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That's essentially what you meant about the supermarket thing.

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-It was stale.

-Stale food, things like that, at the end of the day.

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Yeah, at the end of the day.

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Some of those sausage rolls aren't going to be so tasty

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-the next day, are they?

-Yeah, even at the start of the day

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-some of them are not great.

-Yeah, this is true.

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Not at your supermarket,

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-which I happen to know...

-Amazing sausage rolls there.

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Thank you. Alice, welcome back.

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Remind us what you do.

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I'm a legal-training administrator.

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So people who are doing their legal training, you look after them.

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-Yes, yeah.

-Make sure they're happy.

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What do you like getting up to when you're not doing that, Alice?

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Yeah, a variety of hobbies. I like going to concerts and festivals.

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I like travelling.

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How many festivals do you tend to go to over a summer?

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-Well, I just went to the one this year.

-I think one's enough.

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I was going to say, any more than one surely might be...

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-Just be exhausting, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

-How was the weather?

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Erm...mixture.

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-Fair enough. How many days were you there?

-Three.

-OK.

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-That is sort of doable, isn't it, three?

-Yeah.

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Now, Alice, what would you like to go for?

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Kale.

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There we are. Kale, says Alice.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for kale.

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It beats 100. SHE GIGGLES

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Oh, fifty...

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-Oh.

-Fifty...?

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55 for kale?

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Well, I'm glad people have heard so much about kale,

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because it's just become very popular recently.

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Yeah, it really has. Yeah, a hardy cabbage, kale.

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And the ones with one letter, they tend to be the big scorers.

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I suppose they do.

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-OK, Danielle, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

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Now, we discovered last time you had a great job working...

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-So, it's a wildlife hospital, is it?

-Yes.

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-How big is your wildlife hospital?

-It's pretty large.

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We've got quite a large stable block, big paddocks and

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a big hospital building with wards and an operating theatre.

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What are the biggest animals you've had? Do you get deer in?

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We get deer in, yeah.

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Fallow, muntjac deer, those are the ones we generally deal with.

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Have you ever had...? We had a bird that flew into a window.

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It happens all summer, doesn't it?

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But I looked up online what you're meant to do.

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We put it in a little box and we put it somewhere safe.

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We left some food and some little thing of water for it.

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And it just disappeared.

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I mean, it had definitely broken a wing, but it must've flown off.

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What happened to it, Danielle? LAUGHTER

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-Wait, hold on.

-It depends where you put the box.

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Are you now accusing Danielle of something? Cos this is...

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LAUGHTER

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-We go around secretly, collecting animals...

-Collecting animals.

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Do they sometimes think, "Actually, do you know, I'm fine.

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"This is fine"? And off they go.

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Now, Danielle, words ending A-L-E.

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A couple I'd thought of have gone,

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but I'm going to go with shale, S-H-A-L-E.

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Shale. OK. Thank you for spelling it. There we are, shale.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said shale.

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19 for shale.

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Finely stratified sedimentary rock, shale.

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Thank you. Well, we're halfway through the round,

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let's look at our scores so far. 19, shale.

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There we are, the best score of the round so far.

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Danielle and Marian, very well done.

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Then up to 38, where we find Jack and Shahan.

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Up to 55, Alice and Steve.

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And then Ellen and Ellis, out there in front, I'm afraid,

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fairytale letting you down badly.

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But, Ellis, who knows what might happen in the next pass?

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A nice low score from you might be enough to keep you in the game.

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You never know. Best of luck.

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We come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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Marian, welcome back.

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-Hello.

-How good was that? Danielle, 19.

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-Very good.

-Lowest score of the pass.

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I think you're going to be in Round Two, and beyond.

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That's my hunch.

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Remind us what you do, Marian.

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I'm a support worker with people with learning disabilities.

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Is that sort of a school?

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-No, it's in their house.

-Oh, I see.

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You don't sort of stick to term times,

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that's something you do all the year round?

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You do a shift like three in the afternoon right the way

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-round till three the next day.

-I see. OK.

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-So very demanding.

-Can be.

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-But quite rewarding, I should think, at times.

-Yes, very. I do enjoy it.

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And what do you like getting up to when you leave work?

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I love bird-watching and quizzes and walking and that sort of thing.

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Are you a sort of twitcher? Do you look at rare birds?

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-Or are you just quite happy with...?

-No, I'm not a twitcher.

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-I just go out and enjoy the countryside and see what I can see, really.

-Very good.

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OK, now, Marian, you're on 19.

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If you happen to score 80 or less, you're through to the next round.

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The only one I can think of is whale.

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-Whale.

-Yes.

-OK, Marian is going with whale.

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Here is your red line. If you can get below that with whale,

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you're through to the next round.

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It's right. And you're through.

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39 takes your total up to 58.

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Well played, Marian. A whale.

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-You know, a big...

-Big.

-..mammal-type...

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-Mammal.

-..thing.

-Yeah.

-In the sea.

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-That's the one.

-From the sea.

-That's the fellow, yeah.

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-Steve, welcome back.

-Thank you.

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-Remind us what you do, Steve.

-I'm retired.

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-What DID you do?

-I used to advise people about jobs and training.

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-Now, what do you like doing now, Steve?

-Play some golf, badly.

-Mm-hm.

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-A bit of tennis, not so well. I like walking.

-You like walking.

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I mean, interests other than active sports?

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-I'm a big Plymouth Argyle fan.

-There we are. How is that going?

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Not so well at the moment,

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but we got into the playoffs in League Two last season.

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OK, there we are. That's good.

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Steve, you're on 55.

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If you can score 44 or less,

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you are through to the next round.

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Bale. As in bale of cotton.

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Bale.

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OK, there is your red line. If you can get below that with bale,

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you are through to the next round.

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58, taking your total up to 113.

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-Yeah, we're not really digging into the low numbers here.

-Not really.

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-No.

-In this round.

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-Not so much, no.

-Are you thinking of one?

-Oh, I've had one for a while.

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Oh, have you got one?

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-I'm a little bit pleased.

-I've written down what I think it is.

-OK.

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-If you've got this one, you are spookily brilliant.

-Oh, really?

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-Yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah, OK.

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-OK, now, Shahan.

-Hi, Alex.

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Hi, Shahan, nice to have you back. Remind us what you do.

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I'm a data executive for a supplier of office materials...

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I'm going to stop you right there... LAUGHTER

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..because last time you told us exactly what you do.

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But in your spare time, very keen on music. Do you play music?

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Are you in a band or anything?

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I used to play guitar when I was at uni,

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but I just gave up when I became a real adult.

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-A real adult.

-Yeah.

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Is it still at home in its case, or have you actually got rid of it?

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No, I sold it and I used the money for...something, I don't remember.

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Being very cagey about what he used the money for.

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-LAUGHTER

-I know, right?

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Shahan, there you are.

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38. Your target is 74

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or less. What would you like to go for?

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OK, so the word I'm thinking of is exhale. E-X-H-A-L-E.

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Welcome to the Words round.

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Exhale. There we are. Here is your red line.

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Get below that with exhale, through you go.

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Well done.

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59 is your total.

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Well played, Shahan.

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-Yes, still plenty of very low scorers out here, though.

-Yeah.

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To breathe out.

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-There we are. Now, Ellis.

-Hello.

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Welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here. What do you do, Ellis?

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I'm a student and I also work at the same supermarket.

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At the end of the day, do you ever...?

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LAUGHTER Do you ever just take

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-armfuls of st...?

-No, I work on the pharmacy.

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Even better! LAUGHTER

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Yeah. OK, so, what are your hobbies otherwise, Ellis?

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I like to read a lot. I write short stories, poems and stuff.

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Excellent. Good for you.

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Now, we have a challenge here. You have to score 12 or less.

0:14:350:14:38

No-one has yet done it, but then no-one

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has been very adventurous with their wording, I'd say.

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-Yeah.

-We are looking for some proper Words-round words, Ellis.

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Fatale, as in femme fatale.

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Like that.

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There we go. One person gave you a "Mmm!"

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I think it deserved more than that. There is your red line.

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Let's see if fatale gets you below it.

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Oh!

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That scores you 100 points,

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takes your total up to 200.

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I'm sorry, Ellis, I thought that was a good answer.

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Yeah, I think that's unlucky. Femme fatale you can have,

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but you can only have fatale with femme, I'm afraid.

0:15:160:15:18

I'll give you a few answers... Well, give me your answer first.

0:15:180:15:21

-Biennale.

-Oh, biennale, as in the Venice Biennale?

0:15:210:15:25

-Yeah, or as in festivals, yes, that happen every two years.

-2 points.

0:15:250:15:29

-Ah.

-Very good. And I didn't predict it.

-Ah.

0:15:290:15:33

I thought you'd say Provencale.

0:15:330:15:34

-Oh, Provencale!

-Oh, do you like that?

-That would be very good.

0:15:340:15:37

-Oh, you flatter me.

-Yeah, cos that was a pointless answer.

0:15:370:15:41

Now, you needed to have scored 12 points.

0:15:410:15:43

I'll tell you some of the answers that would have scored less than 12.

0:15:430:15:46

11 points for finale.

0:15:460:15:48

9 points for nightingale. 8 for regale.

0:15:480:15:51

4 for resale, for wholesale,

0:15:510:15:54

upscale, downscale.

0:15:540:15:56

You'd have got 2 points for rationale,

0:15:560:15:58

which would have been a very good answer.

0:15:580:16:00

Descale, broadscale, limescale would've scored you 2 points.

0:16:000:16:03

Morale would have scored you 2 points. Terrific answer.

0:16:030:16:07

But there's a load of pointless answers. Let's take a look at them.

0:16:070:16:10

Farthingale, which is a type of petticoat.

0:16:100:16:13

Guanciale, which is a cured pork.

0:16:130:16:16

Martingale, which is a type of...

0:16:160:16:17

A bit of a horse's bridle, the martingale.

0:16:170:16:20

Musicale, which is just a musical recital.

0:16:200:16:23

Nanoscale, which is a very small unit of measurement.

0:16:230:16:26

Presale, a pointless answer.

0:16:260:16:29

Would have been a very nice one. A few more. There's Provencale.

0:16:290:16:32

-I can't believe you didn't say that.

-I know, I'm sorry.

0:16:320:16:35

And kale, if it's in the sea, is seakale.

0:16:350:16:37

Seakale would have been a pointless answer.

0:16:370:16:38

And tattletale, which is another word for telltale.

0:16:380:16:41

That would've been a lovely one.

0:16:410:16:43

Well done if you said that. Let's take a look at the top three

0:16:430:16:46

answers, the ones that most of our 100 people said.

0:16:460:16:48

Some very big scorers on this round.

0:16:480:16:50

And alpha male up the top there. 76.

0:16:540:16:57

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:16:570:16:59

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we have to send away,

0:16:590:17:01

I'm so sorry, our newcomers, Ellis and Ellen. Fatale, I'm sorry.

0:17:010:17:05

Anyway, we can discuss this next time we see you,

0:17:050:17:07

but in the meantime, thanks very much for playing.

0:17:070:17:10

Ellis and Ellen, everyone. APPLAUSE

0:17:100:17:12

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:17:150:17:18

Well done, everyone. Well done. We've made it through to Round Two.

0:17:230:17:26

Listen, I say well done - I feel terrible.

0:17:260:17:28

I mean, our newcomers, our only newcomers,

0:17:280:17:30

I accused them of being thieves and you knocked them off the show.

0:17:300:17:33

LAUGHTER It hasn't been brilliant, has it?

0:17:330:17:36

But, Danielle, very well done, our lowest score in that round.

0:17:360:17:39

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

0:17:390:17:41

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

0:17:440:17:46

who's going to go second?

0:17:460:17:48

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

0:17:480:17:51

OK, and the question concerns...

0:17:530:17:56

TV cookery programmes, Richard.

0:17:580:18:00

On each board, we'll show you the names of six TV cookery programmes.

0:18:000:18:02

We're also going to give you the initials of someone who's been

0:18:020:18:05

a host or a judge on one of those programmes at some point.

0:18:050:18:07

You just need to tell us who they are, please.

0:18:070:18:09

There will be 12 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

0:18:090:18:12

OK, here comes our first board of six clues.

0:18:120:18:16

I'm going to read them again.

0:18:280:18:29

-Jack.

-I do not watch cookery programmes.

0:18:360:18:40

-Oh, well, you should.

-I should!

-They're great.

0:18:400:18:43

Um...

0:18:430:18:45

So the only one is the most obvious,

0:18:450:18:48

and that is going to be the top one - Ready, Steady, Cook,

0:18:480:18:51

which is Ainsley Harriott.

0:18:510:18:52

Ainsley Harriott, says Jack.

0:18:520:18:53

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ainsley Harriott.

0:18:530:18:57

It's right.

0:19:000:19:01

62, not bad.

0:19:050:19:07

-Yeah, hosting it for seven years, Ainsley Harriott.

-OK.

0:19:090:19:11

Thank you, Richard. Now, Alice.

0:19:110:19:14

We're looking for these cookery presenters, who are they?

0:19:140:19:17

Yeah, I know a few on there.

0:19:170:19:18

I think I'll go for the bottom one.

0:19:180:19:20

Caribbean Food Made Easy -

0:19:200:19:23

Levi Roots.

0:19:230:19:24

Levi Roots, says Alice.

0:19:240:19:26

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said

0:19:260:19:28

Levi Roots.

0:19:280:19:29

It's right. It passes 62.

0:19:330:19:36

Oh, look at that.

0:19:360:19:38

10 for Levi Roots! That's a great score.

0:19:380:19:40

Well done.

0:19:400:19:42

Well played, Alice.

0:19:450:19:46

Yeah, famous for Reggae Reggae Sauce,

0:19:460:19:48

that he pitched at Dragons' Den.

0:19:480:19:51

Whenever you watch Dragons' Den, Bob Mortimer always tweets along.

0:19:510:19:54

And every single invention...

0:19:540:19:56

If it's a bicycle, he will literally just tweet, "Reggae Reggae Bicycle."

0:19:560:19:59

If it's a windbreaker, he'll say, "Reggae Reggae Windbreaker."

0:19:590:20:02

Just for every single one.

0:20:020:20:04

-Thanks, Richard. Marian.

-Hello.

0:20:040:20:06

Marian, do you fancy talking us through this board and

0:20:060:20:08

-filling in our chefs?

-Not really, no.

0:20:080:20:10

There's only two that I know, and they are both, I think,

0:20:100:20:13

going to be quite high.

0:20:130:20:14

So I'll go for the one I think that won't be as high,

0:20:140:20:17

and that's Bread - Paul Hollywood.

0:20:170:20:19

Paul Hollywood, Bread.

0:20:190:20:20

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 people

0:20:200:20:23

went with Paul Hollywood.

0:20:230:20:24

Not bad at all, 35.

0:20:310:20:33

-35 for Bread.

-Well played, Marian.

0:20:350:20:38

Everyone successfully avoiding the big obvious one -

0:20:380:20:41

The Naked Chef, which of course is...

0:20:410:20:43

-Jamie Oliver.

-Jamie Oliver. 85 points for that.

0:20:430:20:46

The second one, The Taste.

0:20:460:20:48

It is actually a very low score for someone so famous.

0:20:480:20:51

It would have scored you 26 points

0:20:510:20:53

-if you'd said Nigella Lawson.

-Mm!

0:20:530:20:56

-And Tasty Travels is...

-I'm going to guess Ruth Rogers.

-It is not.

-Oh!

0:20:560:20:59

It's the American cook Rachael Ray, and it's a pointless answer.

0:20:590:21:03

So very well done if you said that.

0:21:030:21:05

Thank you very much. So, we're halfway through the round,

0:21:050:21:07

let's look at those scores.

0:21:070:21:09

10, well done, Alice. Best score of that pass is yours.

0:21:090:21:12

Alice and Steve could be on their way to the head-to-head round,

0:21:120:21:15

on the back of that.

0:21:150:21:16

Then up to 35, Marian and Danielle. Well done.

0:21:160:21:18

62, Jack and Shahan, our head-to-headers from last time.

0:21:180:21:21

We need a low score from you. Good luck with that.

0:21:210:21:23

We'll come back down the line now.

0:21:230:21:25

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:21:250:21:28

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board, and here they are.

0:21:290:21:33

I'm going to read those one last time.

0:21:470:21:48

Danielle.

0:22:000:22:02

You're not the highest scorers.

0:22:020:22:04

If you can score 26 or less, even at this stage,

0:22:040:22:07

I can guarantee you a place in the head-to-head.

0:22:070:22:10

There's two I'm sure of, one I'm not. I'm going to play it safe.

0:22:100:22:15

I'm going to go with The Great British Bake Off, Mary Berry.

0:22:150:22:20

Mary Berry. OK, there's safe... and there's Mary Berry.

0:22:200:22:25

There's your red line.

0:22:250:22:26

Let's see how far down the column we get with Mary Berry.

0:22:260:22:29

It's right.

0:22:320:22:33

62. That's not too bad.

0:22:350:22:37

It takes your total up to 97.

0:22:400:22:41

It's given some hope to Shahan there. Mary Berry.

0:22:410:22:45

There we are. Now, Steve, what would you like to go for?

0:22:450:22:50

Lovely margin you've got thanks to Alice's low score in the first pass.

0:22:500:22:53

86 or less.

0:22:530:22:55

Not a strong area for me.

0:22:550:22:57

But I'll have a go for Fjord Fiesta, Keith Floyd.

0:22:570:23:02

Keith Floyd. Now, that's...

0:23:020:23:04

You said it's not a strong area for you,

0:23:040:23:06

that's a great answer if it's right. There is your red line.

0:23:060:23:09

If you get below that with Keith Floyd,

0:23:090:23:11

you're through to the head-to-head.

0:23:110:23:13

Very well done indeed. You are through.

0:23:160:23:18

That's a magnificent answer, Steve. Very well done indeed.

0:23:220:23:26

5 it scored, which is the lowest score of the round so far,

0:23:260:23:29

taking your total up to 15, the lowest total of the round so far.

0:23:290:23:32

Great work, Steve.

0:23:320:23:33

The show is actually called Floyd's Fjord Fiesta,

0:23:330:23:35

-which is very, very difficult to say.

-It is.

-At the best of times.

0:23:350:23:39

-It is.

-After a bottle of red wine...

0:23:390:23:41

-Oh... That's why he never said it.

-Yeah.

0:23:410:23:43

-It's quite good.

-It's a good name.

-Yeah.

0:23:430:23:46

Fjord Escort, someone showing you around the fjords.

0:23:460:23:49

Oh, I see, yes. Yes, I saw that, yes.

0:23:490:23:52

Fjord Focus, which could be anywhere.

0:23:520:23:55

Really good. Just focusing on fjords.

0:23:550:23:57

Focusing on fjords.

0:23:570:23:58

Model T Fjord, where you take Tyra Banks to Norway.

0:23:580:24:02

Fjord Mustang, where you have to train a horse, you have to break it.

0:24:050:24:09

That's a good one.

0:24:100:24:12

Shahan. Now, this is exciting.

0:24:120:24:15

Shahan, you have to score 34 or less. We can do this.

0:24:150:24:19

We can do this. 34 or less. Shahan, talk us through that board.

0:24:190:24:22

OK, like Jack, I don't really watch cookery programmes,

0:24:220:24:25

but at least I know of them. The Chopping Block, I don't really know.

0:24:250:24:29

Kitchen Nightmares I believe is Gordon Ramsay.

0:24:290:24:32

Kitchen Notebook, the title sounds familiar, but that's it.

0:24:320:24:36

I'm going to go for Christmas Cooks and Antony Worrall Thompson.

0:24:360:24:39

Antony Worrall Thompson, says Shahan.

0:24:390:24:41

You're on 62, you have to get below that red line to be with us

0:24:410:24:44

after this round.

0:24:440:24:46

Antony Worrall Thompson, how many people said it?

0:24:460:24:49

It's right.

0:24:510:24:53

Oh, you've done it. Look at that, 26!

0:24:560:24:58

26. 88 is your total. Very well done, Shahan.

0:24:580:25:03

Yeah, well played, Shahan. You chose that very, very well.

0:25:040:25:07

The Chopping Block can only be, with those initials...

0:25:070:25:10

-Marco Pierre White.

-Marco Pierre White.

0:25:100:25:12

It would have scored 27.

0:25:120:25:13

Kitchen Nightmares, quite right, is Gordon Ramsay.

0:25:130:25:16

It would have scored you far too many points, 74.

0:25:160:25:18

Do you know Kitchen Notebook?

0:25:180:25:20

I think I'm sure I do...

0:25:200:25:22

-It's Rachel Khoo.

-Oh, no, I don't.

0:25:220:25:24

Rachel Khoo. 4 points, well done if you said that at home.

0:25:240:25:27

There we are. Thank you very much.

0:25:270:25:29

At the end of our second round, I'm so sorry, Danielle and Marian,

0:25:290:25:32

our lovely low scorers from the last round,

0:25:320:25:35

we have to say goodbye to you. I'm so sorry.

0:25:350:25:37

It's been lovely having you on both shows,

0:25:370:25:39

but thanks so much for playing.

0:25:390:25:41

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:25:460:25:51

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:510:25:53

Congratulations, Alice and Steve, Jack and Shahan - you are now

0:25:530:25:57

one step closer to the final and a chance to play for that jackpot,

0:25:570:26:00

which currently stands at £3,000.

0:26:000:26:03

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:030:26:06

Well, you have made it this far.

0:26:060:26:09

This is the point after which you can now chat to each other

0:26:090:26:11

before you give answers,

0:26:110:26:13

which I always think is a cause for some sort of celebration.

0:26:130:26:15

First player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:26:150:26:20

Alice and Steve, very well done,

0:26:200:26:21

great to have you here in the head-to-head as our

0:26:210:26:23

lowest-scoring pair, but be warned -

0:26:230:26:25

Jack and Shahan have got previous. They've been here last time.

0:26:250:26:29

Jack and Shahan, you were, last time, standing there

0:26:290:26:31

and we had to say goodbye to you.

0:26:310:26:33

-Is that going to happen again?

-No.

-Nope.

0:26:330:26:36

OK. Best of luck to both players. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:26:360:26:40

Here is your first question. It concerns...

0:26:450:26:49

-Famous Garys, Richard.

-Yeah, what else?

0:26:510:26:53

We're going to show you five pictures

0:26:530:26:55

of famous people called Gary.

0:26:550:26:56

Can you identify the most obscure of these Garys?

0:26:560:26:58

OK. Let's look at our Garys. Here they are.

0:26:580:27:03

There we are. Five people called Gary.

0:27:300:27:32

Alice and Steve, you were our low scorers, so you will go first.

0:27:320:27:36

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:27:360:27:39

We're going to go for D, Gary Player.

0:27:550:27:57

Gary Player, say Alice and Steve, for D.

0:27:570:28:00

Now, then, Jack and Shahan.

0:28:000:28:02

Do you fancy talking us through all those other Garys?

0:28:020:28:06

Well, A is Gary Oldman. B is Gary Lineker.

0:28:060:28:09

C is the late Gary Coleman,

0:28:090:28:12

but the answer Jack and I are going to go for is Gary Lightbody.

0:28:120:28:15

-For E.

-Yes, for E.

0:28:150:28:18

OK, Gary Lightbody, say Jack and Shahan. Gary Lightbody for E.

0:28:180:28:22

Now, then, Alice and Steve went for Gary Player.

0:28:220:28:25

Let's see if that's right for D.

0:28:250:28:26

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:28:260:28:29

Gary Player, 32.

0:28:360:28:38

Jack and Shahan, meanwhile, have gone for Gary Lightbody for E.

0:28:420:28:46

You took us through the board pretty confidently.

0:28:460:28:49

Let's see if Gary Lightbody is right.

0:28:490:28:50

Let's see how many people said it.

0:28:500:28:52

Look at that. Wins you it.

0:28:580:29:00

Ooh, that's a great answer.

0:29:000:29:03

Very well done indeed, Jack and Shahan.

0:29:030:29:06

After one question, you are up 1-0.

0:29:060:29:09

Yeah, lead singer of Snow Patrol there, Gary Lightbody.

0:29:090:29:11

You gave us all five correct answers and you chose the best answer,

0:29:110:29:14

so you can't play a round better than that.

0:29:140:29:16

A is Gary Oldman, as you said.

0:29:160:29:18

He would have scored you 50.

0:29:180:29:20

Gary Lineker is the biggest scorer

0:29:210:29:23

on the board, unsurprisingly.

0:29:230:29:25

92 for Gary Lineker.

0:29:250:29:27

That is a big score.

0:29:270:29:29

C, as you say,

0:29:290:29:30

is the late Gary Coleman.

0:29:300:29:32

A good score for that, 12 points.

0:29:320:29:34

Very well done if you said Gary Coleman.

0:29:340:29:36

Particularly well done if you said Gary Lightbody.

0:29:360:29:38

Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

0:29:380:29:41

Alice and Steve, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

0:29:410:29:44

Good luck. Our second question today is all about Statues.

0:29:440:29:48

-Statues, Richard.

-I'm simply going to give you five clues now

0:29:480:29:51

to facts about famous statues.

0:29:510:29:53

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

0:29:530:29:54

OK, let's reveal our five statue facts. Here they are.

0:29:540:29:58

I'm going to read all those again.

0:30:200:30:22

Jack and Shahan, you will go first.

0:30:400:30:43

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:30:470:30:52

Yeah, myself and Jack,

0:30:520:30:54

we've kind of struggled to recognise all five of these statues,

0:30:540:30:58

but one of them we do recognise is the footballer

0:30:580:31:00

who has a statue outside Wembley Stadium, which is Sir Bobby Moore.

0:31:000:31:04

Sir Bobby Moore, say Jack and Shahan.

0:31:040:31:06

Sir Bobby Moore.

0:31:060:31:08

Alice and Steve, talk us through that board, if you can.

0:31:080:31:12

We think the giant statue by Antony Gormley

0:31:120:31:15

is The Angel Of The North.

0:31:150:31:17

We don't know the artist. Comic-strip character is Andy Capp.

0:31:170:31:22

We don't know the mountain in Brazil,

0:31:220:31:24

so we're going to go for Andy Capp.

0:31:240:31:26

Andy Capp, say Alice and Steve. We have Bobby Moore and Andy Capp.

0:31:260:31:30

Jack and Shahan went Bobby Moore.

0:31:300:31:31

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

0:31:310:31:35

It is right.

0:31:360:31:38

Ooh, that's not bad. 30 for Bobby Moore.

0:31:400:31:43

Alice and Steve have gone for Andy Capp.

0:31:470:31:49

Let's see if that's right for the cartoon character.

0:31:490:31:52

It's right.

0:31:550:31:56

And it beats Bobby Moore. Well done.

0:31:590:32:01

12 for Andy Capp. Well done, Alice and Steve, you're back in the game.

0:32:020:32:06

-After two questions, you're level on 1-1.

-Very well played.

0:32:060:32:10

There is a better answer on the board, we'll get to it in a second.

0:32:100:32:13

The giant statue is The Angel Of The North,

0:32:130:32:15

that would have scored you 57 points. The artist is...?

0:32:150:32:19

-Rodin. Is it Auguste?

-Yeah, Auguste Rodin, would have scored you 25.

0:32:190:32:23

It's Mount Corcovado.

0:32:230:32:25

Oh, I was going to say the Sugarloaf, that's not the same thing, is it?

0:32:250:32:29

No. 4 points for that, very well done if you said that.

0:32:290:32:32

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your third question.

0:32:320:32:35

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

0:32:350:32:37

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

0:32:370:32:40

Our third and final question of this round is all about...

0:32:400:32:43

We're going to show you the names of five capital cities

0:32:450:32:47

beginning with K, but we've left out alternate letters from their name.

0:32:470:32:50

Can you fill in those gaps?

0:32:500:32:52

The team with the best answer is going through to play for

0:32:520:32:54

that jackpot, so very best of luck to you all.

0:32:540:32:56

Thanks very much.

0:32:560:32:57

Let's reveal our five capitals beginning with K, and here they are.

0:32:570:33:01

I will read all of those again.

0:33:090:33:11

Now, then, Alice and Steve, you will go first.

0:33:170:33:19

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:33:220:33:24

We're going to go for the top one, Kigali.

0:33:330:33:35

Kigali, say Alice and Steve. Kigali.

0:33:350:33:38

Now, Jack and Shahan, talk us through the other Ks, if you can.

0:33:380:33:42

OK, so the second one is Kuala Lumpur.

0:33:420:33:45

Not sure about the third one.

0:33:450:33:47

The fifth one is Kathmandu.

0:33:470:33:49

But we're going to go for the fourth one, Kabul.

0:33:490:33:52

"Ka-bul", "Kaa-bul". OK, Kabul.

0:33:520:33:54

Now, Kigali. Alice and Steve,

0:33:540:33:57

let's see how many of our 100 people went with Kigali.

0:33:570:34:00

It's right.

0:34:030:34:04

17, very well done indeed. 17 for Kigali.

0:34:090:34:12

Jack and Shahan, meanwhile, have gone for Kabul,

0:34:140:34:17

the one up from the bottom. Let's see if that's right,

0:34:170:34:19

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:34:190:34:22

It's right.

0:34:250:34:26

Ooh, 71. 71, which means very well done, Alice and Steve.

0:34:280:34:32

After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

0:34:320:34:34

Yeah, and Kigali's the best answer on the board.

0:34:340:34:37

Nothing you could have done about it. Terrific head-to-head.

0:34:370:34:39

Well played, both teams. You're right about Kuala Lumpur.

0:34:390:34:43

That would have scored you 25. We'll leave the middle one for a second.

0:34:430:34:46

The one at the bottom, as you said, was Kathmandu.

0:34:460:34:49

That would have scored 77. Do you know the middle one?

0:34:490:34:52

-Capital of Jamaica...

-Oh, Kingston.

0:34:520:34:55

Yeah, Kingston. That would have scored 21.

0:34:550:34:58

There we are. Thank you.

0:34:580:35:00

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:000:35:02

I'm so sorry, two head-to-head rounds consecutively

0:35:020:35:05

you've been in, Jack and Shahan.

0:35:050:35:06

You played incredibly well in both shows, but I'm afraid this is

0:35:060:35:09

where we have to say goodbye, but it's been great fun having you on.

0:35:090:35:12

Thank you so much, Jack and Shahan.

0:35:120:35:13

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:130:35:16

But for Alice and Steve, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:160:35:20

Well done, Alice and Steve, you've seen off all the competition

0:35:230:35:27

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:270:35:31

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:35:360:35:38

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at...

0:35:380:35:41

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:410:35:43

Well, it was Round Two we had to say goodbye to you last time.

0:35:460:35:49

This time through the head-to-head.

0:35:490:35:52

It would be so lovely to see this jackpot go at the end of this show.

0:35:520:35:56

What would you like to come up on that board?

0:35:560:35:58

Football.

0:35:580:35:59

Football. Alice?

0:35:590:36:01

Music or films.

0:36:010:36:03

It sounds like you've got it all covered. Football, music and films.

0:36:040:36:07

It's all you need for these rounds, in my opinion.

0:36:070:36:09

Best of luck, let's hope there's something up there

0:36:090:36:11

that answers one of those at least.

0:36:110:36:13

Here is today's selection. We've got...

0:36:130:36:15

Do you know your hospital-based TV shows?

0:36:240:36:27

-Erm, no...

-No. I don't know any '50s jazz albums.

0:36:270:36:29

Between Barack Obama and global distances.

0:36:320:36:35

-Maybe...

-Global distances?

0:36:350:36:37

-Yeah.

-Global distances.

0:36:380:36:40

Global distances it is, Richard.

0:36:400:36:42

Excellent. It's a fun one, this, if you know your geography.

0:36:420:36:45

We're looking for any of the following, please.

0:36:450:36:47

We're looking for any capital city which is within 2,000 miles

0:36:470:36:50

of London, so any capital city within 2,000 miles of London.

0:36:500:36:53

Has to be the capital of a sovereign state

0:36:530:36:55

that's a member of the UN in its own right.

0:36:550:36:57

Any US state which is within 1,000 miles of Washington, DC,

0:36:570:37:01

so any US state that has any border within 1,000 miles of Washington, DC.

0:37:010:37:05

We're looking for any African countries

0:37:050:37:08

within 1,000 miles of Bangui.

0:37:080:37:10

As every Pointless viewer knows, that's the capital of the Central African Republic.

0:37:100:37:13

Bang in the middle of Africa.

0:37:130:37:15

So capital cities within 2,000 miles of London,

0:37:150:37:17

US states within 1,000 miles of Washington, DC,

0:37:170:37:20

or African countries within 1,000 miles of Bangui.

0:37:200:37:23

Very best of luck.

0:37:230:37:24

Yeah. Now, as always,

0:37:240:37:26

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

0:37:260:37:28

All you need to win that jackpot

0:37:280:37:29

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:37:290:37:31

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:37:310:37:33

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

0:37:330:37:35

Your time starts now.

0:37:350:37:37

Riga. Vilnius.

0:37:390:37:41

Tallinn?

0:37:450:37:46

Rhode Island, maybe, for Washington, DC.

0:37:480:37:51

That's within 1,000 miles.

0:37:510:37:53

-I don't know any capital...

-Is Seattle...?

0:37:540:37:58

No, that's the other way.

0:37:580:38:00

It could be, actually, it could be.

0:38:000:38:03

But I think Riga.

0:38:030:38:06

There's another one. Yerevan.

0:38:060:38:08

How about the capital cities within 2,000 miles of London?

0:38:100:38:14

That's the one. Riga is 2,000 miles from London. Vilnius.

0:38:140:38:21

What's the other one? Tallinn.

0:38:210:38:23

-Let's go for those three.

-Yeah.

-OK.

0:38:230:38:26

OK, you're happy? We'll stop the clock if you are. OK, there we are.

0:38:260:38:29

Let's have your three answers, then.

0:38:290:38:32

-Tallinn.

-Tallinn. If you say which one category each one is.

0:38:320:38:35

-Yeah, sorry. Within 2,000 miles of London.

-Tallinn.

-Tallinn.

0:38:350:38:38

-Vilnius.

-Vilnius.

0:38:430:38:45

-And Riga.

-And Riga.

0:38:450:38:47

All three of those are capitals within 2,000 miles of London.

0:38:470:38:50

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:500:38:53

-Riga.

-Riga goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Tallinn.

0:38:530:38:57

Tallinn goes first.

0:38:570:38:59

OK, well, let's put those answers on the board in that order, then.

0:38:590:39:01

Here they are.

0:39:010:39:03

We've got Tallinn, we've got Vilnius and we've got Riga.

0:39:030:39:07

Very best of luck. Three good answers on the board, there.

0:39:070:39:09

Let's hope at least one of those is pointless and will win that

0:39:090:39:12

jackpot for you. £3,000 would be quite a nice jackpot to take home.

0:39:120:39:16

Alice, what would you like to do with your share of that?

0:39:160:39:19

Well, me and my fiance are just buying a house at the moment.

0:39:190:39:23

We'd like a cinema room, if possible.

0:39:230:39:26

Very good. 5.15 every day, sit down with some biscuits and a cup of tea.

0:39:260:39:33

-Big screen.

-Very good.

0:39:330:39:34

Maybe that's not such a good idea, the big screen. Steve?

0:39:340:39:39

I've never been to the Grand Canyon and I'd really like to go,

0:39:390:39:42

so that would go a long way towards a good holiday there.

0:39:420:39:45

Very good. Well, very best of luck. Three good answers there.

0:39:450:39:48

Your first one was Tallinn.

0:39:480:39:49

In the case of all of these answers,

0:39:490:39:51

we were looking for capitals within 2,000 miles of London.

0:39:510:39:55

If Tallinn is pointless, it will win you £3,000.

0:39:550:39:57

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tallinn.

0:39:570:40:00

It's right.

0:40:030:40:04

Now all it has to do is go down to 0 and you can leave here with £3,000.

0:40:040:40:09

Tallinn now takes us down through the teens,

0:40:090:40:11

into single figures, we're still going down.

0:40:110:40:13

Down it goes, down it goes. Oh, 1!

0:40:130:40:15

APPLAUSE

0:40:170:40:21

Oh, that's a good answer, though. That's a good answer. Tallinn.

0:40:210:40:27

Not a pointless answer, sadly.

0:40:270:40:30

But superb. Anyway, two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:40:300:40:32

Vilnius was your next answer.

0:40:320:40:34

Again, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £3,000.

0:40:340:40:37

Let's see how many people said Vilnius. Please can it be pointless?

0:40:370:40:41

It's right. Well, Tallinn was right,

0:40:430:40:45

it took us right to the very brink of the jackpot, down to 1.

0:40:450:40:50

Vilnius now takes us down through the teens and into single figures.

0:40:500:40:53

Down it goes, still going down, still going down,

0:40:530:40:55

still going down, down it goes, down...

0:40:550:40:56

You've done it! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:560:40:58

Brilliant.

0:41:040:41:05

That is superb. Congratulations, Vilnius was a pointless answer.

0:41:090:41:13

That means you get your cinema room, you get to the Grand Canyon,

0:41:130:41:19

you go home with that jackpot of £3,000.

0:41:190:41:21

Very well done, Alice and Steve. Superb.

0:41:210:41:24

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:240:41:25

Very, very well played.

0:41:280:41:30

Yeah, Vilnius, of course, the capital of Lithuania,

0:41:300:41:34

and Riga, the capital of Latvia, also a pointless answer.

0:41:340:41:37

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:370:41:40

That's the one where most of the pointless answers are

0:41:400:41:43

in that category.

0:41:430:41:44

Let's take a look at a few of them, these capital cities.

0:41:440:41:47

Algiers is a pointless answer,

0:41:470:41:49

Minsk in Belarus, Rabat in Morocco, Sarajevo.

0:41:490:41:52

Also could have had Andorra la Vella, Ankara, Belgrade,

0:41:520:41:55

Bratislava, Nicosia, Podgorica, San Marino. You could have had

0:41:550:41:58

Sofia, Tirana, Tripoli, Tunis, Vaduz, Valletta, Warsaw and Zagreb.

0:41:580:42:03

All of those are pointless answers.

0:42:030:42:05

Let's take a look at the US states.

0:42:050:42:08

There's five pointless answers here. You could have had...

0:42:080:42:12

Also could have had Missouri. Very well done if you said any of those.

0:42:140:42:17

Only three pointless answers for the African countries...

0:42:170:42:21

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

0:42:250:42:27

I'll just mention one other capital city that's within 2,000 miles

0:42:270:42:30

of London, cos it's the easiest one to remember.

0:42:300:42:32

It's Chisinau, which is the capital of Moldova,

0:42:320:42:34

as in the expression, "They think it's Moldova, it Chisinau."

0:42:340:42:37

LAUGHTER

0:42:370:42:39

APPLAUSE

0:42:390:42:42

Thank you very much.

0:42:420:42:44

Well, thanks once again to our winning players,

0:42:440:42:48

Alice and Steve, who go away with today's jackpot of £3,000.

0:42:480:42:51

Brilliant.

0:42:510:42:52

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:520:42:56

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

0:42:560:43:00

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:000:43:02

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:020:43:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:050:43:08

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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