Episode 17 Pointless


Episode 17

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

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the show where the aim of the game is to find the most obscure answer possible.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi, my name's Gary. This is my friend, Dean.

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We're work colleagues and we're from Kent.

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-Couple number two.

-Hi, my name's Mike. This is my wife, Trisha.

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-We are from Ruislip.

-Couple number three.

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Hi, Xander. My name's David and this is my wife, Cherelle.

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We're from Belfast, Northern Ireland.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Luis. This is my best friend, Josh. We're from Manchester.

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And these are today's contestants.

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Thanks very much, all of you. A warm welcome to the show.

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We'll chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He could only be more popular if he came served with a side order of pulled pork.

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It is my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya. Hey, everybody.

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Good afternoon.

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Pulled pork is a thing we didn't have. When we started this show seven years ago,

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pulled pork didn't even exist.

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-No.

-It's like salted caramel.

-Oh, yeah. The two of those...

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-Yes.

-Now you can't get anything else.

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-I know.

-Only one returning pair from last time.

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That's Josh and Luis up there on podium four.

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We've got two married couples on our middle podiums now.

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I quite like having married couples on the show because you like to see

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the very beginnings, the cracks if things go wrong.

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Do you know what I mean?

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It's a proper test of a relationship, I think.

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I suspect we'll be fine, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, just in case.

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Wouldn't it be awful? But we'll be watching very carefully.

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Yes. Thanks very much, Richard.

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Now, Annette and Pat didn't win the jackpot last time,

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so we add another £1,000 to last time's jackpot,

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which means today's jackpot starts off at £5,250.

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Yes.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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Just remember this, the pair with the highest score at the end of

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each round will be eliminated.

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That's basically the only rule.

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Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category today...

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..is Cambridge University.

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Cambridge University.

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Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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Cambridge Footlights Alumni.

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Cambridge Footlights Alumni, Richard.

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On each board, we're going to show you seven clues to famous people who

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once performed with the Cambridge Footlights group,

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you just need to give us the most obscure of those, please.

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There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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So, we are looking for the names of these Cambridge Footlights alumni

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and here is our first board of seven.

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We have got...

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I'm going to read those all one last time.

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Gary, welcome to Pointless.

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Good to have you here, from Kent.

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-What do you do, Gary?

-I'm a civil servant.

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A civil servant.

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-Yes, I am.

-Yeah. And what keeps you busy down in Kent?

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-What do you like to get up to?

-Well, I'm training hard, the moment,

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for the London Marathon. So, all my time's taken up doing that.

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Have you done it before?

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Never, I'm a brand-new runner.

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I've been running about four months.

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Was it a minute of madness when you said, "Yes, I'll do it"?

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or had you been planning to do it for ages?

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Alcohol can be a strange thing and it was after a few drinks.

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Do you know what? If they got everyone who's running the London Marathon

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at the beginning and said, "Right, anyone here who signed up when they were drunk, sit down..."

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-I'd be sitting down.

-..how many people do you think would be left standing?

-Not many.

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Yeah. There we are. Now, Gary, this board of Footlights,

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-what would you like to go for?

-I'd like to go for the bottom one,

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the original host of the television quiz show University Challenge...

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Bamber Gascoigne.

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Bamber Gascoigne.

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A great name, isn't it? Bamber Gascoigne.

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Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bamber Gascoigne.

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It's right.

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62. 62.

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APPLAUSE

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High score there, still.

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It's a big score, yeah. He presented that show for nearly 25 years.

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As has Paxman, he's done it for nearly 25 years as well -

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which always amazes people.

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There we are. Thank you, Richard.

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Trisha, warm welcome to Pointless.

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Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Trisha?

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I'm a senior customer service advisor for a large retail company in the UK and Europe.

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Right.

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A large retail company?

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Does that mean like a supermarket or...?

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No, more clothing and accessories, and homeware.

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Oh, God, it's all very, very guarded, isn't it?

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"Civil servant" from Folkestone.

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Yeah. "Large retail company."

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Large retail company.

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It's like a John le Carre novel.

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Oh, isn't it?

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Just inscrutable, impenetrable contestants we have today.

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What does anyone do?

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-I don't know.

-What do YOU do?

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-I've always wondered.

-I don't know that.

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I've never known what I do.

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Now, Trisha.

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-What are your hobbies, Trisha?

-I really like to bowl.

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Love to watch reality TV, I'm a reality TV junkie

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and I take care of our 15-year-old...

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15-month-old son...

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Oh, that's lovely.

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-..in my spare time.

-And are you fanatical about comedians who went to university at Cambridge?

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I'm really, really poor in this subject,

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so I'm going to go with the actress and writer who starred in and penned

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the Nanny McPhee film series...

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-Emma Thompson.

-Emma Thompson, says Trisha.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Trisha.

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Emma Thompson.

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It's right.

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Look at that. Beats Bamber Gascoigne.

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42. 42 for Emma Thompson.

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Well done.

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APPLAUSE

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Yeah, still the only person to win an Academy Award for acting and

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writing, Emma Thompson.

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She's brilliant, isn't she?

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She is a brilliant person.

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Now, David, welcome to the show.

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Here from Belfast.

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What do you do, David?

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I'm an operations manager for an aerospace company.

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Oh! In Belfast?

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-Yes.

-The famous one in Belfast?

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Yes. That's kind of...

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Aerospace in Belfast has kind of taken over where Belfast shipbuilding...

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-Yeah, I was there, too.

-..was.

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-Oh, you were there, too, were you?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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-You've been in all the big things in Belfast.

-Yeah. The University of Life.

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It wasn't Cambridge, it was University of Life.

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There we are. Now, then, David...

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how are you feeling about this board?

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Pretty nervous. I know one.

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That's it.

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I'll go for the Monty Python member and that's John Cleese,

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and I'm not doing the silly walk.

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OK!

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John Cleese, says David.

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John Cleese. Let's see if that's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people said John Cleese.

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77. APPLAUSE

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It's about the height of John Cleese, in fact.

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-Yeah, John Cleese. His family name was originally Cheese but it got changed along the way.

-Why?

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-I don't know.

-John Cheese is a great name.

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-It's quite a good name.

-And Cleese is good, Cleese is fine.

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Cheese. Cheese.

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OK, now, Josh, welcome back.

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-Thank you.

-Our only returning pair.

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Josh, remind us what you do.

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I work for an education charity in Manchester.

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That's right. And you say you've only been doing that for a little while.

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-Yes.

-It's quite a new thing.

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-Yes.

-What precipitated the move to education charity?

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Well, I used to work for universities and, before that, I was...

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Professional's a generous term -

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I was a magician for a while.

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Oh, you didn't tell us that, Josh!

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-I don't tell many people.

-If you had got to the final last time...

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we wouldn't have heard about the magic. Are you part of the Circle?

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I was, yes.

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Oh, you've been expelled!

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LAUGHTER

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So, did you do close-up magic?

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A little bit, but our speciality was stage stuff, so...

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Did you levitate?

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No, we tried to go a bit more modern, as opposed to the old parlour magic,

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that kind of thing.

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So, you had, sort of, white pumas jumping through...

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-A little bit less modern than that.

-..jets of flame, while you and...

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Somewhere between levitating and white pumas.

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Yes. OK.

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So, Josh, what would you like to go for?

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This board's all yours, by the way.

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-Go through it and fill in the blanks.

-OK, well,

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the top one is Richard Ayoade.

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The Inbetweeners and Friday Night Dinner, I think is Simon Bird.

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After that would be Germaine Greer.

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I think I'll go for Simon Bird.

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Simon Bird, says Josh.

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Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many people said it.

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Very nicely done, Josh.

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42 was our low score. You passed that some time ago.

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There you are at 9.

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Very well done, Josh.

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9 for Simon Bird.

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APPLAUSE

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Very nicely done, Josh.

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Yeah, you got all of those right and you chose the lowest score of the

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ones that you knew. Thank you, also,

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for getting Richard Ayoade's surname right because,

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just a couple of shows ago, I mean...

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It was chaos, wasn't it?

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LAUGHTER

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Richard Ayoade would have scored you...

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13 points.

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Germaine Greer...was the Australian feminist,

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which is the biggest scorer left there, 37 points.

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Now, this last one is a pointless answer.

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You could have made the column disappear,

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which would have been a very good magician's trick,

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-but do you know...?

-I'm going to guess at Simon McBurney, is it?

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You were going to guess correctly.

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Simon McBurney.

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So, very well done if you said that at home.

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There we are. Thank you, Richard.

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OK, we're halfway through the round. Let's see what our scores are looking like.

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Very well done, Josh, the lowest score of that pass.

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9. So, Josh and Luis looking pretty strong at this stage.

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We then travel quite a long way up to 42, to find your nearest rivals,

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Trisha and Mike. Up to 62,

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Gary and Dean on the first podium, and then David and Cherelle on 77.

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You're not way ahead there but, Cherelle,

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we definitely need a low-scoring answer from you to keep you in the game.

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So, best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK. So, we're going to put another seven clues up on the board

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and here they are...

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I'm going to read those one last time.

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Luis, welcome back.

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Thank you.

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Now, we discovered last time that you started working for a family company.

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-Yes.

-And you do what, remind us?

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Property finance. So, bridging broking.

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Property finance.

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Now, what's it like being...?

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I mean, with your dad there and you've got another family member as well.

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Well, my dad works with it but he spends a lot of time in Spain...

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so he's not really a big fan of the whole work side of it.

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Right, OK.

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I can't wait till I go back to work now!

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I know. Is there anyone you haven't slagged off yet, Luis?

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-Let's just think hard.

-I love Danielle!

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Danielle's amazing. We'll get that one in.

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Oh, Danielle. There we are,

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at least there will be someone to talk to on that morning when you go back.

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-Of course, "Spending a lot of time in Spain" is usually a euphemism, isn't it?

-Yes.

-By and large.

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I wonder if he's had a run-in with our civil servants from podium one at all.

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-Certainly, something is up, isn't it?

-Something. There we are.

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Now, Luis, what would you like to go for?

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You're on 9. Lovely,

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lovely low score from Josh means that 67 or less ensures you a place.

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It's a good job we've got Josh, because I'm not too sure on this one,

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so I'm going to go safe. Second one from the bottom, the Peep Show,

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David Mitchell.

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David Mitchell, says Luis.

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Here is your red line.

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It'll be interesting to see how far down the column this gets.

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David Mitchell. How many people said it?

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It's right.

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Oh, you made it.

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42.

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APPLAUSE

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42 for David Mitchell takes your total up to 51.

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Very well done, you are in Round Two.

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-Well done, Luis. That's where he met his comedy partner, Robert Webb, as well.

-Indeed.

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Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Cherelle, welcome here from Belfast.

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-What do you do, Cherelle?

-Business support for a bank.

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Right you are. What are your hobbies when you're not at the bank?

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Like going to the cinema with him.

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I like to walk our little dog along the coast.

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What sort of dog have you got?

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-A bulldog.

-Oh, very nice.

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-How old is the bulldog?

-She's three.

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She's allowed off the lead, I'm guessing, when she goes along the coast?

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-Yes. She doesn't like to associate with other dogs because she doesn't know she's a dog.

-Ah.

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Ah. She thinks she is an iguana.

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She is...

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LAUGHTER

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What, so she just looks with disdain at other four-legged creatures?

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-Yeah.

-Yeah. Anyway, now, there we are on 77.

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You are our highest scorers at this stage.

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We need a low score from you.

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Well, I'm going to take a punt with the actress who plays Professor Sprout,

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and I'm not sure of how to say her surname, so we'll go for...

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Miriam Margo-les.

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Miriam Margolyes.

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That's a pretty game attempt at it. Miriam Margolyes. I like that.

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No red line for you, Cherelle, as you're the high scorers at the moment.

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But a nice answer - like Miriam Margolyes, let's hope -

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will get you nice and far down the column.

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Let's see how many people said it.

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It's absolutely right.

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Oh, it's a good answer.

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Look at that. 19. Very well done indeed.

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APPLAUSE

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Our second lowest individual score of the round.

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96 is your total.

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You might have done enough, I think, there, Cherelle, to keep yourselves in the game.

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Great answer, Cherelle. Whenever she's on Graham Norton...

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They always have, like, huge Hollywood stars and she ends up

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just horrifying everybody with her stories.

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She's great. OK, thank you very much, Richard.

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Now, Mike. Welcome to the show, Mike, from Ruislip.

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-What do you do, Mike?

-I'm a police officer in the Met.

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So, you did your training round the corner from here, at Hendon, did you?

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Yep. Yep. All our training was done there.

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Excellent. How long is the training?

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Long story short, I'm on a slightly different programme so it was more condensed.

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Normally, it lasts a few months but I'm on a brand-new scheme.

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-I see.

-But I don't want to bore everybody with that either, so...

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OK, but you're enjoying it, though?

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They're looking after you well?

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After professional sports,

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it's probably the best job I could have dreamed of having, so...

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Well, there we are. Brilliant. Now, 42 your score.

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Cherelle and David currently our high scorers on 96,

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so 53 or less gets you through.

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Pretty straightforward cos I only know one of them,

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but I don't know if it'll be enough.

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I'm going to have to go for it anyway.

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The one at the top, Stephen Fry.

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Stephen Fry, says Mike.

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Stephen Fry. Here is your red line.

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Quite far down.

0:16:130:16:14

Let's see if Stephen Fry gets you down that far.

0:16:140:16:16

How many of our 100 said Stephen Fry?

0:16:160:16:19

A lot hanging on this for Cherelle and David.

0:16:190:16:21

It's right.

0:16:230:16:25

Ooh, podium three back in the game.

0:16:260:16:28

That scores you 70.

0:16:280:16:30

Takes your total up to 112.

0:16:300:16:32

You are our new high scorers.

0:16:320:16:33

It's going to be interesting on that last podium now.

0:16:330:16:36

Yeah, of course, Sandi Toksvig taking over as host of QI.

0:16:360:16:39

Thank you very much, Richard.

0:16:390:16:41

Now, then, Dean.

0:16:410:16:43

-What do you do, Dean?

-I'm a civil servant.

0:16:430:16:45

Civil... Oh, I thought we were going to crack him.

0:16:450:16:48

I thought he was just going to let it out by accident.

0:16:480:16:50

-A civil servant in the Kent-ish area?

-Yes.

0:16:500:16:53

Yeah.

0:16:530:16:54

Very...

0:16:540:16:56

Does your civil servant job involve looking at people and going,

0:16:560:16:58

-"Yeah, in you come, next"?

-That could be part of it.

0:16:580:17:03

See, THAT might be quite...

0:17:030:17:04

That's quite fun, isn't it? If that were to be your job,

0:17:040:17:07

do you get posted to all sorts of different ports or are you...

0:17:070:17:11

allotted one and that's where you remain?

0:17:110:17:12

I have had several postings.

0:17:120:17:15

I've had international postings as well.

0:17:150:17:17

Oh, that's quite fun.

0:17:170:17:18

-Yeah.

-There we are. Now, Dean,

0:17:180:17:20

that board's all yours if you fancy going through it.

0:17:200:17:23

I knew three answers and they're all three that have gone.

0:17:230:17:26

So, really,

0:17:260:17:28

just going to have to make a name up but let's go for theatre director

0:17:280:17:31

behind West End productions of Cats and Les Mis...

0:17:310:17:33

I'm just going to say Tim Nice.

0:17:330:17:35

Oh, do you know what...?

0:17:370:17:39

Tim Nice did the Madness musical, didn't he?

0:17:410:17:43

Which was... Which was great.

0:17:430:17:45

Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Nice.

0:17:450:17:47

Oh, yeah.

0:17:470:17:48

Now, then, could be right.

0:17:480:17:49

Let's see... Is Tim Nice right?

0:17:490:17:51

There is your red line.

0:17:510:17:53

No, sorry. No. Back luck, Dean, I'm sorry.

0:17:560:17:59

Tough board for you there if you didn't know any of those.

0:17:590:18:02

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 162.

0:18:020:18:04

Mighty relief on podium two there.

0:18:040:18:07

Yeah, there's a few big names still up there.

0:18:070:18:09

The bottom one... It is a tough one, it's...

0:18:090:18:11

-Trevor Nunn.

-..Trevor Nunn. Yep.

0:18:110:18:14

Would have scored you 6 points.

0:18:140:18:16

The best answer on the board is the British comedian who's now MASSIVE

0:18:160:18:19

-in the States.

-John Oliver.

0:18:190:18:21

John Oliver. Yeah, he's done amazingly well for himself.

0:18:210:18:24

4 points for that. The comedian and broadcaster...

0:18:240:18:26

-Oh, Sue Perkins.

-Sue Perkins.

0:18:260:18:29

Would have scored you 11.

0:18:290:18:30

And the creator of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy...

0:18:300:18:33

-Douglas Adams.

-Douglas Adams.

0:18:330:18:34

Who'll be furious he didn't score three more. He scored 39.

0:18:340:18:38

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:18:380:18:40

OK, so we're at the end of our first round and I'm sorry to say the pair

0:18:400:18:43

we are sending home, at the end of this round, with a score of 162,

0:18:430:18:46

is Dean and Gary.

0:18:460:18:48

We will see you back next time and I'm sure you'll go much, much further.

0:18:480:18:51

In the meantime, thanks very much for playing, Dean and Gary.

0:18:510:18:54

APPLAUSE

0:18:540:18:55

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:18:560:18:59

And so we are down to three pairs.

0:19:040:19:06

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

0:19:060:19:09

Well, there were moments where it looked like all of you might have been in trouble.

0:19:090:19:12

Just little moments that were a little bit tense there.

0:19:120:19:15

Cherelle and David know what I'm talking about.

0:19:150:19:17

But there were sublime moments too, Josh.

0:19:170:19:19

So, Simon Bird, very much a highlight of that.

0:19:190:19:22

So very well done on the far podium, there.

0:19:220:19:24

Best of luck to all three pairs for our second round.

0:19:240:19:26

Our category for Round Two, this afternoon, is Words.

0:19:260:19:30

It's a Words round.

0:19:300:19:31

Can you all decide, in your pairs who's going to go first,

0:19:310:19:34

who's going to go second?

0:19:340:19:35

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:19:350:19:38

OK, let's find out what the question is.

0:19:410:19:43

Here it comes.

0:19:430:19:45

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many words that...

0:19:450:19:51

Words fitting the pattern "C-blank-blank-blank-E," Richard.

0:19:560:20:00

-That's fun, isn't it?

-Yes.

0:20:000:20:01

That's like a new type of word round, isn't it?

0:20:010:20:03

-Yes.

-Looking for any word which has its own entry in

0:20:030:20:05

OxfordDictionaries.com British and World English, please,

0:20:050:20:08

that fits that pattern, "C-blank-blank-blank-E."

0:20:080:20:11

As always, no proper nouns, hyphenated words or anything like that.

0:20:110:20:14

-Very best of luck.

-OK, thank you very much, Richard.

0:20:140:20:17

-Now, Mike...

-Hello.

0:20:170:20:19

What are we going to go for?

0:20:190:20:21

I'll go with "chime".

0:20:210:20:23

"Chime", says Mike.

0:20:230:20:25

Let's see if it's right.

0:20:250:20:27

Let's see how many people said "chime".

0:20:270:20:29

APPLAUSE

0:20:380:20:39

14. 14 for "chime".

0:20:420:20:44

Good start. Tough on the first podium in these word rounds, isn't it?

0:20:440:20:48

-Yes.

-Yep.

-Sorry, I was too busy, lost.

0:20:480:20:50

-I was lost.

-Yeah, I know, you're thinking of words.

0:20:500:20:52

Lost in...

0:20:520:20:54

words. Cherelle.

0:20:540:20:55

I think I'll go for "crane".

0:20:570:20:59

Crane. "Crane", says Cherelle.

0:20:590:21:02

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "crane".

0:21:020:21:05

APPLAUSE

0:21:110:21:13

35 for crane.

0:21:130:21:15

Yeah, something you do to lift a bird.

0:21:180:21:20

LAUGHTER

0:21:200:21:22

Crane.

0:21:220:21:23

Thank you very much, Richard.

0:21:230:21:25

Luis...

0:21:250:21:26

I think this one's going to be a bit high and it's probably a bit

0:21:280:21:30

controversial to say on this show, but - "chase".

0:21:300:21:34

LAUGHTER

0:21:340:21:35

-Oh...

-Oh...

0:21:430:21:45

Oh, dear.

0:21:450:21:47

"Chase," said Luis.

0:21:470:21:49

Let's see if it's correct.

0:21:490:21:50

That weight is just about loose, I think, that stage weight, up there.

0:21:520:21:57

OK, yes, let's see how many of our 100 people said "chase".

0:21:570:22:00

Chase.

0:22:000:22:01

APPLAUSE

0:22:090:22:10

27 for "chase".

0:22:150:22:17

It means...

0:22:170:22:18

Well, it means all sorts of things but mainly to underperform in the ratings, "chase".

0:22:180:22:22

LAUGHTER

0:22:220:22:24

We love them really.

0:22:290:22:30

We love them really.

0:22:300:22:32

Well, we take the mick and they take the mick.

0:22:320:22:34

-We're all good pals.

-They do. Thank you, Richard.

0:22:340:22:36

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

0:22:360:22:39

14, Mike, what about that?

0:22:390:22:40

Very well done indeed. 14. Chime.

0:22:400:22:42

Great answer there. Then we travel up to 27,

0:22:420:22:45

where we find Luis and Josh.

0:22:450:22:46

Then up to 35, Cherelle and David.

0:22:460:22:48

David, I hope you're thinking of a lovely low-scoring answer.

0:22:480:22:52

I know I still am. We're going to come back down the line now.

0:22:520:22:54

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:22:540:22:56

OK, now, Josh.

0:23:010:23:03

Remember, we're looking for five-letter words beginning with C and ending in E.

0:23:030:23:07

I'll go slightly safer...

0:23:090:23:11

for "chute".

0:23:110:23:13

"Chute," says Josh.

0:23:130:23:16

There is your red line, appearing right now.

0:23:160:23:19

Let us see... Chute...

0:23:190:23:20

I like "chute", by the way.

0:23:200:23:22

Let's see how many people said it.

0:23:220:23:24

Oh, you needed 7, you got 8.

0:23:330:23:35

I think you're going to be fine.

0:23:350:23:37

Very well done. 35's your total.

0:23:390:23:41

Great answer, yeah. Sloping channel or a shortform of parachute as well.

0:23:410:23:44

I liked the audience reaction, which was, when you said "chute", they went...

0:23:440:23:47

"But that doesn't begin with... Oh!"

0:23:470:23:50

A-ha! Very good.

0:23:510:23:52

So... David, you're level with the high scorers at this point,

0:23:540:23:59

so we have to have a pointless answer from you, David.

0:23:590:24:01

I have a safe one and I have a dodgy one.

0:24:010:24:04

Now, safe... How safe?

0:24:060:24:08

Safe, like, sort of, 67...

0:24:080:24:10

-or safe...?

-Who knows?

0:24:100:24:12

But I'm going to take a punt.

0:24:120:24:13

-I like that.

-"Crepe".

0:24:130:24:15

LAUGHTER

0:24:180:24:20

Easy, tiger.

0:24:200:24:21

I'm glad you took a punt and not a...

0:24:210:24:24

OK, you just have to take my word for it,

0:24:280:24:30

there is a red line, invisibly,

0:24:300:24:32

down there. Crepe.

0:24:320:24:34

Crepe. He's from Northern Ireland.

0:24:340:24:37

Crepe. Let's see...

0:24:370:24:39

That's another great answer.

0:24:400:24:42

How many of our 100 people said "crepe"?

0:24:420:24:46

Oh, ten for "crepe"!

0:24:530:24:55

APPLAUSE

0:24:550:24:57

I think it deserved to go lower than that, David,

0:24:570:25:00

but ten people came up with "crepe".

0:25:000:25:02

45 is your total.

0:25:020:25:04

Yeah, a crepe is a thin pancake or a type of material,

0:25:040:25:06

or a posh person writing a review of The Chase.

0:25:060:25:08

LAUGHTER

0:25:080:25:09

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:25:120:25:14

Now, Trisha.

0:25:140:25:16

Trisha, you're on 14.

0:25:160:25:18

David and Cherelle are currently our high scorers on 45,

0:25:180:25:20

so 30 is your target.

0:25:200:25:23

I think I'm going to have to try "creme".

0:25:230:25:26

Creme. "Creme" says Trisha.

0:25:260:25:29

Sounds good to me. Here is your red line.

0:25:290:25:31

If you can get below that with creme, you are into the head-to-head.

0:25:310:25:34

How many people said "creme"?

0:25:340:25:35

Very well done indeed. Whoo!

0:25:440:25:45

APPLAUSE

0:25:450:25:48

Our lowest score of the round.

0:25:480:25:50

Very well done indeed. Takes your total up to 21.

0:25:500:25:52

Lovely answer, Trisha. Well played. Yes, something with a creamy consistency.

0:25:520:25:56

Before I do the pointless answers, do you have an answer?

0:25:560:25:58

-I do.

-Which is...?

0:25:580:25:59

-Chide.

-Oh, I didn't guess that.

0:25:590:26:01

-Oh, no.

-I did not guess that.

0:26:010:26:03

Chide would have scored you 7 points as well.

0:26:030:26:06

-Ah.

-Tied with Trisha.

0:26:060:26:07

Very well done. Now, lots of pointless answers out there.

0:26:070:26:10

Let's take a look at a few of them.

0:26:100:26:11

A citee - that is someone who is cited in something.

0:26:110:26:15

Conge - which is a dismissal or a rejection of someone.

0:26:150:26:18

Conte is a type of short story.

0:26:180:26:20

Cooee. Isn't that a lovely one?

0:26:210:26:24

Cooee would have been a brilliant word.

0:26:240:26:25

Coupe was a pointless answer and it would have been a good one.

0:26:250:26:28

Crake is a type of bird.

0:26:280:26:29

Another good answer.

0:26:290:26:32

Crape. Curie, which is a unit of radioactivity.

0:26:320:26:35

-Cuvee.

-Cuvee.

-Which I thought you might...

0:26:350:26:37

Because I know it's a type of Hawaiian...

0:26:370:26:40

Cuvee, yes, exactly.

0:26:400:26:43

-Cuvee.

-Let's take a look at the top three answers,

0:26:430:26:45

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

0:26:450:26:47

Chase, 27, was the third highest scorer.

0:26:490:26:51

Like the third highest rater at tea-time.

0:26:510:26:53

Third-highest scorer.

0:26:530:26:55

Crate, 32, and crane is the biggest scorer of all, on 35.

0:26:550:26:59

There we are. Thank you, Richard.

0:26:590:27:01

So, we've come to the end of our second round and I'm so sorry,

0:27:010:27:04

Dave and Cherelle, we have to say goodbye

0:27:040:27:06

to you with your high score of 45. Nice and close, though.

0:27:060:27:09

Josh and Luis just behind you there.

0:27:090:27:11

We'll see you again next time and we know you're going to do well next

0:27:120:27:15

time because... Look, for heaven's sake, you've done so well so far.

0:27:150:27:18

-Thank you.

-Meantime, thanks very much for playing.

0:27:180:27:20

David and Cherelle.

0:27:200:27:21

APPLAUSE

0:27:210:27:23

But for Josh and Luis, Trisha and Mike,

0:27:240:27:27

it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:27:270:27:28

Congratulations, Josh and Luis, Trisha and Mike.

0:27:340:27:36

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for that

0:27:360:27:39

jackpot, which currently stands at £5,250.

0:27:390:27:44

APPLAUSE

0:27:440:27:45

This is nice, when we reach this plateau level of the game,

0:27:470:27:50

because you can start playing as a team. You can chat before you give your answers.

0:27:500:27:53

First pair to win two questions will be through to the final and playing

0:27:530:27:56

for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs.

0:27:560:27:58

Josh and Luis, you were exactly in this position last time, in fact,

0:27:580:28:01

weren't you? And that was a 2-0 defeat.

0:28:010:28:04

So, we've got to hope for a turnaround this time.

0:28:040:28:06

You've got to pull something out of the hat, Josh.

0:28:060:28:08

That's a magician joke.

0:28:080:28:10

He was a magician...

0:28:100:28:12

And, Trisha and Mike, nice because...

0:28:120:28:14

Well, we didn't explore this but, Trisha, you're originally from Montreal,

0:28:140:28:18

-aren't you?

-Yeah.

-So, you know, you were a little bit on your own there.

0:28:180:28:21

-A little bit exposed.

-Yeah.

-There were quite a lot of questions that might have been tricky.

0:28:210:28:24

Now you've got Mike, you can sound each other out,

0:28:240:28:27

which is great. Anyway, as I said, best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:28:270:28:30

Here is your first question and our first question today concerns

0:28:350:28:40

Listed Structures.

0:28:400:28:41

Listed Structures, Richard.

0:28:410:28:43

Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now of listed structures in Britain.

0:28:430:28:46

You just need to identify the most obscure, please.

0:28:460:28:49

OK, thank you very much. Let's reveal our five listed structures

0:28:490:28:51

and here they are. We have got...

0:28:510:28:54

There we are. Five listed structures.

0:29:190:29:21

Josh and Luis, you will go first.

0:29:210:29:23

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:29:230:29:25

We...

0:29:320:29:34

are going to go for E,

0:29:340:29:35

and we're going to say Battersea Power Station.

0:29:350:29:37

Battersea Power Station, say Josh and Luis.

0:29:370:29:40

Battersea Power Station.

0:29:400:29:41

Now, Trisha and Mike...

0:29:410:29:43

That board's all yours. Do you want to go through all of those?

0:29:430:29:46

Yeah. Well, we actually met in Bristol and we think A is Bristol Suspension Bridge.

0:29:460:29:50

Clifton Suspension Bridge!

0:29:500:29:51

Apologies. The Clifton Suspension Bridge.

0:29:510:29:55

B looks like the top of the Blackpool Tower.

0:29:550:29:57

Don't really know C and D.

0:29:570:29:59

So, we will have to go for A.

0:29:590:30:01

Have I said it right this time?

0:30:010:30:03

Clifton Suspension Bridge.

0:30:030:30:05

We'll go for A, the Clifton Suspension Bridge.

0:30:050:30:08

Clifton Suspension Bridge.

0:30:080:30:09

So, we have Battersea Power Station and Clifton Suspension Bridge.

0:30:090:30:12

Josh and Luis said Battersea Power Station for E.

0:30:120:30:16

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:30:160:30:18

It is right.

0:30:210:30:22

54.

0:30:250:30:26

APPLAUSE

0:30:260:30:27

54. Meanwhile, Trisha and Mike have gone for A,

0:30:300:30:33

Clifton Suspension Bridge.

0:30:330:30:35

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:30:350:30:39

It is right.

0:30:400:30:42

And it beats Battersea Power Station.

0:30:430:30:45

Look at that.

0:30:450:30:47

26. Great score.

0:30:470:30:49

Trisha and Mike, well done.

0:30:500:30:52

After one question, you are up 1-0.

0:30:520:30:55

Yeah, well played. You're right about Blackpool Tower.

0:30:550:30:57

Blackpool Tower would have scored you...

0:30:570:31:00

80 points.

0:31:000:31:01

These other two are the best two answers.

0:31:020:31:04

C is Preston Bus Station,

0:31:040:31:06

which is an example of brutalist architecture, but listed now.

0:31:060:31:09

7 points. And D is the...

0:31:090:31:12

-Trellick Tower.

-..Trellick Tower in London.

0:31:120:31:15

Yeah, that would have scored you 1 point.

0:31:150:31:18

They are...amazing flats inside as well. Incredible.

0:31:180:31:20

-And the views, as you can imagine.

-Fantastic.

-It's very tall.

0:31:200:31:23

That's only the very top bit of it.

0:31:230:31:24

Thank you very much. So, here comes your second question.

0:31:240:31:27

Now, Josh and Luis, this is beginning to look like a repeat of last time.

0:31:270:31:30

We cannot do this.

0:31:300:31:31

You have to win this one to stay in the game.

0:31:310:31:33

However, Trisha and Mike will get to answer first, so best of luck.

0:31:330:31:36

It concerns...

0:31:360:31:37

..Formula One. Formula One.

0:31:380:31:40

-Richard.

-Five clues now to facts about Formula One.

0:31:400:31:43

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

0:31:430:31:45

Thanks very much. OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they are.

0:31:450:31:49

We've got...

0:31:500:31:52

I'll read those again as quickly as I can.

0:32:120:32:14

Now, Trisha and Mike, you will go first.

0:32:330:32:35

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:32:350:32:36

I believe the year Lewis Hamilton won his first Formula One title

0:32:410:32:44

was 2008.

0:32:440:32:46

2008, say Trisha and Mike.

0:32:460:32:48

2008 for Lewis Hamilton.

0:32:480:32:49

Now, Josh and Luis...

0:32:490:32:51

I think the top one is probably Silverstone,

0:32:520:32:54

but that's going to be very high.

0:32:540:32:56

The year Lewis Hamilton won, I originally thought it was 2009 but 2008...

0:32:560:32:59

now sort of rings more of a bell.

0:32:590:33:02

The colour of the flag...

0:33:020:33:03

Yellow? Obviously, the bottom one - Hill.

0:33:030:33:07

-We'll try 2009.

-2009.

0:33:080:33:11

OK, well, you're both vying for the same one.

0:33:110:33:13

We've got 2008 and 2009.

0:33:130:33:15

This is very exciting. Well,

0:33:150:33:17

we could find out the answer to this very quickly indeed.

0:33:170:33:19

Trisha and Mike, your answer was given first.

0:33:190:33:21

2008. We'll put that one to the test first.

0:33:210:33:23

Is it right?

0:33:230:33:24

It is right.

0:33:280:33:30

It is right, which means...

0:33:320:33:33

15.

0:33:350:33:36

Now, for the sake... This is my guess,

0:33:410:33:43

is for the sake of formality and for the sake of just...

0:33:430:33:46

-For the sake of the computer program.

-Also jeopardy.

0:33:460:33:48

You never know.

0:33:480:33:49

For the sake of... Maybe you'll be right, too.

0:33:490:33:51

What if he won it both... What if he won it in both years...

0:33:510:33:54

for the first time? Through some temporal, weird, kind of...

0:33:540:33:58

-A kink!

-..a tear in the space-time continuum.

0:33:580:34:00

Yeah. Let's find out. Josh and Luis have said 2009.

0:34:000:34:04

Let's see if that's wrong.

0:34:040:34:05

LAUGHTER

0:34:050:34:07

Oh!

0:34:070:34:09

I'm sorry. That was close.

0:34:090:34:11

Very well done, Trisha and Mike, after only two questions,

0:34:120:34:15

you are through to the final, 2-0.

0:34:150:34:18

Yes, very well played and there's only one answer that could have beaten

0:34:180:34:21

you there as well and that's the second one.

0:34:210:34:23

But we'll start with the top one. You are right, it is Silverstone.

0:34:230:34:26

That would have scored you 51 points.

0:34:260:34:28

The Italian is Nino Farina.

0:34:280:34:30

Very well done if you got that at home.

0:34:300:34:32

2 points. I know a lot of people like the Formula One questions.

0:34:320:34:34

Well done if you got that. The colour of the flag is not yellow,

0:34:340:34:37

it's blue. Blue was the answer there.

0:34:370:34:40

22. And you're right about Hill but it's the biggest scorer on the board

0:34:400:34:44

with 73.

0:34:440:34:46

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:34:460:34:47

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head.

0:34:470:34:50

It's like Groundhog Day.

0:34:500:34:51

I can't bear it. Josh and Luis, it was a 2-0 defeat last time,

0:34:510:34:55

it's a 2-0 defeat this time and, on both instances,

0:34:550:34:58

you were our low scorers, our golden couple.

0:34:580:35:00

And I'm afraid we have to send you home, for the second time,

0:35:000:35:03

with nothing. But it's been brilliant having you on both shows and you've been fantastic.

0:35:030:35:07

As I say, low score after low score.

0:35:070:35:09

I'm sorry you don't get something to show for it but personal kudos,

0:35:090:35:12

I guess, is all there is there.

0:35:120:35:13

Josh and Luis, thank you so much for playing.

0:35:130:35:16

APPLAUSE

0:35:160:35:17

But for Trisha and Mike, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:180:35:21

Congratulations, Trisha and Mike.

0:35:250:35:27

You've seen off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:270:35:32

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and,

0:35:370:35:40

at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £5,250.

0:35:400:35:44

Well, what a performance.

0:35:470:35:49

Only... Your one and only appearance on the show and you

0:35:490:35:52

made it through. Creme and chime, two fantastic answers in the second round.

0:35:520:35:56

2-0 in the head-to-head.

0:35:560:35:57

There's never an argument with that.

0:35:570:35:59

So, here we are. Anything you'd particularly like to see come up in this last round?

0:35:590:36:03

Probably North American sports.

0:36:030:36:04

-Yeah. That'd be really good.

-NFL, ice hockey.

0:36:040:36:06

That would be amazing. You've got a lot of bases covered there.

0:36:060:36:10

So, let's hope there's something on the board that you like the look of.

0:36:100:36:12

Very best of luck. Our board today has these categories on it...

0:36:120:36:17

-Opera, Mike.

-A dream!

0:36:240:36:26

Absolute dream.

0:36:260:36:27

-Realistically...?

-The Year 1996, maybe.

0:36:280:36:31

-OK.

-I don't know, could be something sporty.

0:36:310:36:33

Yeah, let's go for that.

0:36:330:36:34

Through process of elimination, The Year 1996.

0:36:340:36:36

The Year 1996.

0:36:360:36:38

-Richard.

-OK, very best of luck.

0:36:380:36:39

Three very different questions here.

0:36:390:36:42

We are looking for...

0:36:420:36:43

any of the countries that took part in the Euro '96 football tournament

0:36:430:36:47

in England - apart from England, of course.

0:36:470:36:49

Any of the other 15 nations.

0:36:490:36:51

We are looking for any actors in the 1996 film Mars Attacks,

0:36:510:36:55

according to IMDb.

0:36:550:36:57

Or we are looking for anyone who had a UK number one single or album,

0:36:570:37:00

according to officialcharts.com, in 1996.

0:37:000:37:03

So, the teams in Euro '96,

0:37:030:37:05

actors from Mars Attacks or any UK number one single or album in 1996.

0:37:050:37:09

Thank you very much indeed.

0:37:090:37:11

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:37:110:37:14

and all you need, to win that jackpot,

0:37:140:37:16

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:37:160:37:18

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

0:37:180:37:20

-Yeah, I think so.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:37:200:37:23

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:37:230:37:25

Do you know any of the Mars Attacks people?

0:37:250:37:27

OK, I think... I don't know, was Vince Vaughn in that, or Jim Carrey?

0:37:270:37:30

A bunch of random people were in that.

0:37:300:37:33

Shall we skip UK number one artists as well?

0:37:330:37:35

Yeah, unless there was like... Natalie Imbruglia.

0:37:350:37:38

I think she was around that time.

0:37:380:37:40

We're better off going for the football teams.

0:37:400:37:42

OK. Well, you're good on those, so that's all you.

0:37:420:37:44

The only ones I can remember are the big ones,

0:37:440:37:48

but...Romania and Bulgaria, maybe.

0:37:480:37:50

They were quite good around the World Cup in '94,

0:37:500:37:53

so they could well have done something in '96.

0:37:530:37:55

-Romania, Bulgaria.

-Scotland played England as well, so...

0:37:550:37:58

People might forget about Scotland.

0:37:580:38:00

What about any of the Baltic countries?

0:38:000:38:02

I can't remember specifically.

0:38:020:38:03

I only remember, like, Germany...

0:38:030:38:04

Lithuania, Latvia...

0:38:040:38:05

-I went to England-Spain.

-But it just has to be a team in Euro '96, so...

0:38:050:38:09

-Belgium.

-Gosh.

-OK, we'll do...

0:38:110:38:13

..Romania, Bulgaria...

0:38:150:38:17

Should we maybe go with UK number one artists?

0:38:170:38:19

Maybe Lisa Loeb?

0:38:190:38:21

If you like.

0:38:210:38:23

-Just throw one in.

-Yeah.

-Let's just do that.

0:38:230:38:25

OK, that is your time up. Sounds like you've arrived at three answers.

0:38:250:38:28

Let's hear what they are and if you could say which category they are.

0:38:280:38:31

Teams in Euro '96 - Romania...

0:38:310:38:33

-Romania.

-Yeah. And Bulgaria.

0:38:330:38:36

-Bulgaria.

-And then UK number one artists of 1996,

0:38:360:38:41

maybe take a stab at Lisa Loeb.

0:38:410:38:43

Lisa Loeb.

0:38:430:38:44

I'm guessing she was huge in Canada.

0:38:440:38:46

She was, so hopefully she was big over here...

0:38:460:38:50

You got to hope some of that spilled over here. Lisa Loeb.

0:38:500:38:52

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer,

0:38:520:38:55

-do you think?

-Loeb.

0:38:550:38:56

You think so? Yeah, OK, let's go for that one. Lisa Loeb.

0:38:560:38:59

-Lisa Loeb.

-Yeah.

-We'll put her last. Least likely to be pointless?

0:38:590:39:02

-Maybe Bulgaria.

-Bulgaria. Bulgaria first, Romania in the middle, then Lisa Loeb.

0:39:020:39:06

OK, well, let's put those answers on the board in that order and here they are.

0:39:060:39:09

We've got...

0:39:090:39:10

Well, very best of luck.

0:39:130:39:15

Three good answers up on the board there.

0:39:150:39:17

Now, if you get a pointless answer with any of those three,

0:39:170:39:20

you will win £5,250.

0:39:200:39:22

What would you do with that?

0:39:220:39:24

-Trisha, you first.

-I think we'd have to put to...

0:39:240:39:28

The sensible thing would be to put it towards a deposit on a house,

0:39:280:39:32

but the un-sensible thing would probably be to go to the next Olympics.

0:39:320:39:37

Winter Olympics, hopefully.

0:39:370:39:38

So...

0:39:380:39:40

OK. Fantastic.

0:39:400:39:41

Mike, anything you want to add to that?

0:39:410:39:42

Yeah, I love travelling, especially to big sporting events like

0:39:420:39:45

the Olympics, and for my sensible thing,

0:39:450:39:48

Trisha's pregnant so maybe we'll just spend it all on the baby.

0:39:480:39:51

-Oh! Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-Wonderful.

0:39:510:39:55

APPLAUSE

0:39:550:39:56

-Thanks.

-Well, fingers crossed.

0:39:580:40:00

Lots of good reasons for hoping these are pointless answers, here.

0:40:000:40:04

Bulgaria was your least confident answer.

0:40:040:40:06

In this case, we were looking for teams that played in Euro '96.

0:40:060:40:10

Let's see if it's right, let's see if it is pointless.

0:40:100:40:13

If it is both of those things,

0:40:130:40:14

you will leave here with our jackpot of £5,250.

0:40:140:40:17

How many people said Bulgaria?

0:40:170:40:19

It's right.

0:40:220:40:24

Now, all we have to hope for is that Bulgaria takes us down to zero.

0:40:250:40:28

Down it goes, through the 20s, into the teens, into single figures.

0:40:280:40:33

Still going down, still going down.

0:40:330:40:35

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:350:40:36

Fantastic! Very well done.

0:40:390:40:42

That's wonderful.

0:40:420:40:44

-God bless Hristo Stoichkov!

-Oh, look at that!

0:40:490:40:52

Excellent. Well, congratulations.

0:40:520:40:54

You can get a buggy, you can get a cot,

0:40:540:40:56

you can get all the muslins you need.

0:40:560:41:00

Oh, fantastic. Bulgaria was a pointless answer,

0:41:000:41:02

which means you go home with that jackpot of £5,250.

0:41:020:41:05

Absolutely brilliant.

0:41:090:41:11

Well, you were on just the most perfect trajectory there and,

0:41:110:41:15

after 2-0 in the head-to-head, it was a foregone conclusion, really.

0:41:150:41:19

Anyway, absolutely fantastic.

0:41:190:41:20

-Very well done.

-So pleased for you, Trisha and Mike. That's terrific stuff.

0:41:200:41:23

Bulgaria, very well done. Romania...

0:41:230:41:26

also a pointless answer.

0:41:260:41:27

APPLAUSE

0:41:270:41:29

Lisa Loeb...

0:41:330:41:35

Incorrect answer.

0:41:350:41:37

There are actually a couple of Canadians, though,

0:41:370:41:39

that were pointless answers. We will get on to those in a minute.

0:41:390:41:41

Let's go through the pointless answers in the different categories.

0:41:410:41:44

There's only three pointless answers in the Euro '96 category, you got two of them.

0:41:440:41:48

So, let's take a look.

0:41:480:41:49

Bulgaria, Romania and Turkey were the pointless answers there.

0:41:490:41:52

Well done if you said any of those at home.

0:41:520:41:54

Actors in Mars Attacks...

0:41:540:41:55

Everyone in that film apart from Jack Nicholson, Tom Jones,

0:42:000:42:04

Pierce Brosnan, Glenn Close, Sarah Jessica Parker,

0:42:040:42:06

Natalie Portman and Danny DeVito.

0:42:060:42:08

Everyone else was a pointless answer.

0:42:080:42:10

Now, the UK number one artists.

0:42:100:42:12

There's a Canadian right at the top, here.

0:42:120:42:14

Alanis Morissette, number one with Jagged Little Pill.

0:42:140:42:16

Bryan Adams was also a pointless answer.

0:42:160:42:18

Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds, of course, released Three Lions.

0:42:180:42:22

Peter Andre had number one singles - they were dark days, the '90s.

0:42:220:42:25

And the Bluetones had a number one album.

0:42:250:42:28

Lots of other pointless answers. Ash, Babylon Zoo, Crowded House,

0:42:280:42:31

Deep Blue Something, The Fugees, Gary Barlow, Kula Shaker, Mark Morrison,

0:42:310:42:35

Metallica, REM, Robson and Jerome, Beautiful South,

0:42:350:42:37

Chemical Brothers and the Prodigy all pointless answers.

0:42:370:42:40

I went for Suede, because they had a number one album in '96 but they

0:42:400:42:42

-scored points.

-Oh, they scored points.

-They did score points.

0:42:420:42:45

I'd like to think that, sometime, in sort of 10, 16, 18 years' time,

0:42:450:42:49

you'll be able to show this to your child and say, "Look,

0:42:490:42:52

"isn't that lovely?" Because seeing when you were...

0:42:520:42:55

Before you are born and seeing your parents in love and winning all that money, isn't that lovely?

0:42:550:42:59

That would be nice, wouldn't it?

0:43:000:43:01

-Yeah.

-Well, thank you, once again, to our winning players, Trisha and Mike,

0:43:010:43:05

who go away with today's jackpot of £5,250.

0:43:050:43:09

Very well done.

0:43:090:43:10

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

0:43:120:43:16

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

0:43:160:43:18

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:180:43:21

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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