Episode 16 Pointless


Episode 16

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello.

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I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

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the show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious answers

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and find the obscure ones.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one...

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Hi, my name's Jo and this is my partner Leon,

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and we're from Louth in Lincolnshire.

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Couple number two...

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Hi, I'm Leeanne and this is my mum Paula, and we're from Huddersfield.

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Couple number three...

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Hello, I'm Annette. This is my friend Pat, and we're from Cardiff.

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And, finally, couple number four...

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Hi, my name's Josh, this is Luis,

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and we're best friends from Manchester.

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And these are today's contestants.

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Thank you very much, all of you. Very warm welcome to the show.

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We will get to chat to you each throughout the show as it goes along.

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So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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Too legit to quit, it's my pointless friend. It's Richard.

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Hiya. Hey, everybody. Afternoon.

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-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

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-Now, what a lovely show we had last time.

-Wasn't that nice?

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It really was a lot of fun.

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Paula and Leeanne were in the head-to-head that time.

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I'm not sure we've had a smilier head-to-head ever,

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-or a laughier one.

-It was a great head-to-head.

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It was great fun. Alison and George went through and played for the jackpot.

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Jo and Leon back again, as well, on podium one.

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They were part of the last show. Welcome back.

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And we welcome two new pairs as well. Should be great fun.

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A lovely first question. A lovely, classic Pointless first question.

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Wonderful. Thanks, Richard.

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Now, Alison and George didn't win the jackpot last time,

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so we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off...

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Look at that! £4,250. There we are.

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Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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Just for the benefit of our newcomers,

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I'm going to remind you that the pair with the highest score

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at the end of each round will be eliminated, so keep your scores low.

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Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon...

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..is Countries Of The World. Countries Of The World.

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Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes. We...

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What's this - a dance on podium one?

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

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countries that are smaller than the UK.

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Countries smaller than the UK, Richard?

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Yeah, looking for any country of the world that's smaller in terms

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of land area than the UK, please. As always, by "country",

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we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

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Just to give you an idea,

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there's about 120-odd countries that are smaller than the UK.

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We're almost directly in the middle of all the countries

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in terms of land area.

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Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Jo, welcome back.

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-Hi.

-Welcome. It was Round Two

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where we said goodbye to you last time. This time,

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surely you and Leon have set your sights on the head-to-head and beyond?

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-We have, definitely.

-Surely.

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Now, Jo, remind us what you do.

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I actually work part-time in a petrol station and I'm also

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studying towards a degree with the Open University, as well.

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-What was your degree again?

-Psychology.

-Psychology.

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Are you going to use that psychology in the petrol station?

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-Use it on my customers, yes!

-Yes! Where is your petrol station?

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-What road is it on?

-It's on Newmarket in Louth.

-There we are!

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Jo, what would you like to go for?

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Well, I think I'm going to go for Luxembourg.

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Luxembourg, says Jo.

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Luxembourg. Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

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Well, it's right.

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45 for Luxembourg.

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It's not bad.

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-Not bad.

-Yes, 94 times smaller than the UK, Luxembourg.

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-Wow!

-So small!

-It's like a country you win in a cracker.

-It is.

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It's the size of a Louth petrol station, Luxembourg.

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Thanks very much indeed. Paula, welcome back. Remind us what you do.

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I work for the local council in Huddersfield.

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And you're the person who tells all the contractors that you're

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looking for work to be done and they have to submit their tenders.

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-That's true, yes.

-What do you get up to in your spare time?

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-I like going out with my girlfriends to eat.

-Mm.

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Do you do lunch or do you do dinner? D-D-D-Dinner!

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Lunch sort of goes into dinner.

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Oh, I like those kind of lunches!

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Fantastic!

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Now, Paula, countries with a smaller landmass than the UK.

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I think this is quite hard.

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I'm going to go for, er, Trinidad & Tobago.

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Trinidad & Tobago, says Paula.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Trinidad & Tobago.

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There we are. Well, you passed 45 some time ago.

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There you are, down to 5.

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Very well done indeed, Paula.

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Lovely answer there.

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Yeah, that's 50 times smaller than the UK,

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put together - and there's two of them. Yeah!

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-Oh! Quite hot!

-It is quite hot.

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Trinidad & Tabasco! That's...

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That is the first time I've made that joke

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and, I can promise, the last, as well.

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They invented tobogganing as a sport.

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LAUGHTER

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-They didn't really.

-No. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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Now, Pat, welcome to the show. Great to have you here from Cardiff.

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-That's right.

-What do you do, Pat?

-I've recently retired, so...

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-What were you doing before?

-I was working in a supermarket.

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-Do you still shop in that supermarket?

-Yeah, occasionally.

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-That's nice. You can see all your friends.

-Yes.

-And laugh at them.

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"Ha-ha-ha-ha, I'm going home now!" What do you do with your retirement?

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-Have you taken up anything exciting?

-Well, I'm still...

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discovering new things,

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-and I'm trying to do something new every month.

-Good for you!

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-What's this month's new thing?

-Coming on this show, of course!

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There we are. Brilliant! What are you going to go for, Pat?

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Er...I think I'll go for Lichtenstein.

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OK, you're going to go for Lichtenstein.

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Lichtenstein, says Pat. Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

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Well, 45's our high score. 5 is our low.

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26. Look at that, Pat.

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Very well done indeed.

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-26.

-Yes, only 160 square kilometres, Lichtenstein.

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Over 1,500 times smaller than the UK.

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-I mean...

-That's so tiny, right?

-Yeah!

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

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Thank you very much, Richard. Luis...

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-Are you OK?

-A warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

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-What do you do, Luis?

-I work...

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Well, I'm sure the people I work with would disagree but I'm in

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the family business, which is in property finance,

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-so we're a bridging broker.

-And it's family...

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How long has it been a family business?

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-Three years, so with my father and my brother.

-Oh, I see.

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So they've only been doing it for three years,

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so it's not like your dad's looking over your shoulder,

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-telling you about what he did when he was a lad?

-Mm...

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-He still does that?

-There's also a couple of friends who are there.

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-One in particular, Ste, he likes to shove his nose in.

-Oh, Steve!

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-Yeah. That sounds like Ste, doesn't it?

-Yeah, doesn't it?

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-Every day of the week!

-Yeah.

-Goodness me!

-Oh!

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Now, Luis, countries with a smaller landmass than the UK.

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-OK, I'm going to go for Georgia.

-Georgia. Georgia, says Luis.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Georgia.

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It's right. 45 remains our high score,

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and you pass it. 5 is our low score,

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and you pass it. Look about! Down to 1.

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Very well done indeed, Luis.

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-Good score on the far podium there. Georgia.

-Great score, Luis.

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Very well played.

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One of those countries you might worry about if you didn't know.

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But it's about three times smaller than the UK.

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It's one of those countries you have on your mind, isn't it?

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-Yes, quite right.

-LAUGHTER

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Thank you. Oh, dear! Thank you very much indeed.

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Well, we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

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1 is the lowest score of that pass.

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Luis, very well done. Then we travel up to 5.

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Paula and Leeanne setting out their stall once again. Very well done.

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Then up to 26, where we find Pat and Annette.

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And then 45, Jo and Leon. Now, Leon,

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we just need to think of a nice, tiny little,

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tiny little, country that no-one else could think of,

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and let's hope that'll be enough to keep you in the game.

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Good luck. We're going to come back down the line. The second players, please step up to the podium.

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OK, Josh, remember, we're looking for any country

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that has a smaller landmass than the UK,

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and you're going to try and find a nice low scoring one.

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I mean, Luis did incredibly well there. Josh, what do you do?

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-I work for an education charity in Manchester.

-That's fun!

-Yeah.

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-How long have you done that for?

-Just since January.

-Oh, right.

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So what were you doing before that?

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I worked for various universities in admissions roles

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and, sort of, student recruitment roles.

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Right. Were you actually hands-on...

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-Were you interfacing with applicants, or...?

-Yeah.

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So, I'd go to, sort of, big student recruitment events,

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advertise the university and the courses that they do, and then

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get back to the office and process the applications and assess them.

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Wonderful! Now, you've been set up beautifully by Luis there.

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One fantastic low score.

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45 our high score here,

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-so 43 or less guarantees you a place in the next round.

-OK.

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-So, I think I'm going to go for Bermuda.

-Bermuda, says Josh.

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There is your red line.

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Get below that with Bermuda and you're through to Round Two.

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Oh, Josh! Oh...

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Ooh, Leon! Oh, Josh!

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I'm afraid that scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 101.

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Yeah, not the first person in Pointless history to be caught out by Bermuda.

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Not a country - it's a British overseas territory,

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-Bermuda, I'm afraid.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

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Now, Annette, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here,

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-also from Cardiff.

-That's right.

-And what do you do, Annette?

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-Like Pat, I'm also retired.

-What did you do before?

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-I was an admin manager in the NHS.

-Right you are.

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-So, again, you're enjoying your retirement.

-Indeed.

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-And what do you do? What fills your time?

-Looking after grandchildren.

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-That's nice.

-Yes.

-How many grandchildren have you got?

-Five.

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-Can you reel off their names quickly so they can...

-I can,

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-yes.

-Go on, let's...

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Right, Kai, Ellis,

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-Ava, Dylan and Llewellyn.

-Aw! There we are.

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-Well, they'll all be watching, I imagine.

-They will, yes.

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Hi, Kai, Ellis...

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Llewelyn, Ava and...

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-Dylan.

-Dylan! There we go.

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See, I only took a little bit less time than you did, so...

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And I know them!

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I feel like I do! Annette, you're on 26.

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Great answer from Pat in the first pass. So 74 or less...

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-Right.

-..gets you through.

-OK.

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I'm going to go for Andorra.

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Andorra, says Annette. Andorra. Here is your red line.

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You have to get below this red line with Andorra to get through.

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Let's see if you can.

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It's right.

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There you are. Round Two awaits, Annette!

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-13.

-OK.

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39's your total.

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Well played, Annette. Yeah, another one of the tiny little European countries.

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-Over 500 times smaller than the UK.

-Thanks, Richard.

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Now then, Leeanne,

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Leeanne, welcome back. Remind us what you do, Leeanne.

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-I'm a student with the Open University.

-That's right.

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And you have embarked on...

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-What's the course you're doing?

-Childhood and Youth Studies.

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Childhood and Youth Studies. Now, that sounds fun!

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What do you study particularly in Childhood and Youth Studies?

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-At the moment, we're talking a lot about race in education.

-Right.

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And the psychology of children.

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And what do you want to do with it, once you have your degree?

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-I have no idea.

-Well, that's nice. You can take your time.

-Yeah.

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I've mostly worked with children.

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I've done some part-time teaching assisting on the side as well.

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Very good. Good stuff. Now, Leeanne, you're nearly there.

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95 or less gets you through.

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Yeah.

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-I'm a bit nervous now, after Josh's answer.

-Yeah.

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But...I'm going to have another punt at a Caribbean country,

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and I'm going to say Grenada.

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Grenada, says Leeanne. Grenada.

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Here is your red line - lovely and high.

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You just have to get below that with Grenada and you're into Round Two.

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How many people said Grenada? Is it right?

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It is right, Leeanne.

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That's another great answer.

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Look at that. 2, taking your total up to 7. Once again,

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a stalwart performance on the second podium.

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-7 is your total.

-Well played, Leeanne.

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Both picking up where you left off on the last show.

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A very strong performance.

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Grenada - that's where they invented darts and tenpin bowling.

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LAUGHTER

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Thanks very much, Richard. Leon, welcome back.

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-Now, remind us what you do.

-I'm a baker.

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I'm a bakery manager in a small bakery in Louth, in Lincolnshire.

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RICHARD AND ALEXANDER SIGH HAPPILY

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Bakery manager. Now, do you...

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Small bakery. A baker that manages a small bakery.

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-Do you go home covered in flour?

-Never!

-Oh, that's a shame.

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That is a shame. I was thinking he maybe did.

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-Do you wear a white trilby?

-Not even that, no.

-I'd like to think he did.

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Do you ride a bicycle with a basket on the front, full of baguettes?

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-Of course I do! Every morning.

-Yeah!

-That's nice. There we are.

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-One out of three ain't bad.

-Finally, yeah!

-Leon, there you are. 45.

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55 or less gets you through.

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OK. So it's got to be a small one.

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Er...

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I think...the Vatican.

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-OK. Vatican.

-Mm.

-Vatican, says Leon.

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There is your red line, Leon. There is your red line.

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Get below that with Vatican and you are through to the next round.

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Bad luck, Leon.

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Swaziland is what I meant to say!

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They're so often confused!

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That scores you 100 points - takes your total up to 145.

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Same trap as Bermuda, yeah. Not a country,

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the Vatican or Vatican City, certainly not by our definition.

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-Swaziland would have scored you one point.

-Of course.

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I would be very surprised if you're not getting cooked

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Swaziland-shaped buns even as we speak, Leon.

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They'll be delivered to your desk.

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Loads and loads of pointless answers here...

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If you said to me, "Is Uruguay bigger than the UK?" I don't know.

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-I don't know.

-Well, I do now. It's not.

-It's not.

-It is smaller.

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Loads and loads more pointless answers as well.

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Kiribati, Dominica, Samoa, Honduras, Kyrgyzstan,

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Cape Verde, Palau, Cambodia, Benin, Tajikistan.

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-Very well done if you said any of those at home.

-There we are. Thanks very much, Richard.

0:15:240:15:28

So, we have come to the end of our first rounds and I'm sorry to say,

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Leon and Jo, we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs

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-and I'm afraid it's you.

-Oh!

-I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

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Oh, Swaziland would have just been brilliant! 46 would be your total.

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-That's all right. Give these guys a chance.

-OK.

0:15:420:15:45

Fair enough, but it's a shame. It's far too soon to be saying goodbye to you.

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It's been lovely having you. Leon and Jo, thanks so much for coming to play. Leon and Jo.

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-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

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But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

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And so we're down to three pairs.

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Very well done, everyone who remained in. Josh, hoo-hoo!

0:16:050:16:09

Well done, everyone. We've made it through,

0:16:090:16:11

we got through Countries Smaller Than The UK.

0:16:110:16:14

Our category for Round Two this afternoon...

0:16:140:16:17

is Biblical Names.

0:16:170:16:19

Biblical Names.

0:16:190:16:20

Can you all decide, based on that, who's going to go first in your pairs, who's going to go second?

0:16:200:16:24

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:16:240:16:27

OK, and the question concerns...

0:16:300:16:33

People who share their names with people in the Bible. Richard.

0:16:370:16:40

Going to show you six clues on each board to people who share

0:16:400:16:42

a first name or surname with someone in the Bible.

0:16:420:16:45

You just need to tell us who they are, please.

0:16:450:16:47

Six on each board, 12 to have a go at at home. Good luck.

0:16:470:16:49

Thanks very much indeed.

0:16:490:16:51

So, we are looking for these people who share a name with

0:16:510:16:53

a person in the Bible.

0:16:530:16:55

Here is our first board of six clues.

0:16:550:16:57

Here they are...

0:16:570:16:58

I'll read those again.

0:17:210:17:22

Paula...

0:17:430:17:45

-Hmm.

-How are you finding that board?

0:17:450:17:47

That's not as easy as we might have expected, I don't think.

0:17:470:17:49

No, not at all. Er...

0:17:490:17:53

I'm going to go for the most obvious one,

0:17:530:17:56

the food writer who judges The Great British Bake Off

0:17:560:18:01

with Paul Hollywood, and say Mary Berry.

0:18:010:18:05

Mary Berry, says Paula. Let's see if that's right,

0:18:050:18:07

let's see how many of our 100 people said Mary Berry.

0:18:070:18:10

Wow! 47.

0:18:150:18:17

I think you've done something very clever tactically there, Paula,

0:18:170:18:21

cos I suspect it's probably one of the ones

0:18:210:18:22

everyone else knew, and maybe the only one everyone else knew,

0:18:220:18:25

and it only scored 47, so well done.

0:18:250:18:27

-Yeah, Mary Berry, and the biblical name there being Mary.

-Ah!

0:18:270:18:31

-The mother of Jesus.

-I thought it was the prophet Berry.

-No, no.

0:18:310:18:35

Both equally loved in their own ways, I would say,

0:18:350:18:37

-Mary Berry and Mary.

-Yes.

0:18:370:18:39

If you had to do a competition, a popularity competition,

0:18:390:18:42

between the two of them, I suspect it might be quite close.

0:18:420:18:44

There's a show! Britain's Favourite Mary. Who knows?

0:18:440:18:48

Give it a couple of thousand years...

0:18:480:18:50

Yeah. LAUGHTER

0:18:500:18:52

Yeah. Yes. Now, Annette,

0:18:520:18:55

Annette, this is quite a tough board, isn't it?

0:18:550:18:59

Yes, I think I'll go home now! Er...

0:18:590:19:02

I haven't a clue.

0:19:030:19:04

I'm just going to take a guess and say the New York-born actor

0:19:040:19:08

from Platoon, Desperate Housewives and Mad Men was Matthew McConaughey.

0:19:080:19:14

Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey.

0:19:140:19:16

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Matthew McConaughey.

0:19:160:19:20

Oh, I'm sorry, Annette.

0:19:220:19:24

It may very well not be the last hundred in this round, so don't worry, but, yes,

0:19:240:19:28

that does score you 100.

0:19:280:19:30

Yes, unlucky, Annette. A very good biblical name, though, Matthew.

0:19:300:19:32

McConaughey less...

0:19:320:19:34

There's a McConaughey in the Bible, isn't there, towards the end?

0:19:340:19:36

There's a McConaughey at the front of my Bible, cos it came from a library.

0:19:360:19:40

I think someone met a McConaughey on the road to Judaea.

0:19:400:19:43

I'm almost certain.

0:19:430:19:45

Thanks very much. Now then, Josh, this board is all yours.

0:19:450:19:49

Your chance to shine here!

0:19:490:19:50

Do you want to go through the board and fill in those biblical blanks?

0:19:500:19:55

If I could, I would.

0:19:550:19:56

There's one I do know that I'm going to go for, though,

0:19:560:19:59

which is the last one. The actor who starred in 21 Jump Street,

0:19:590:20:02

nominated for an Academy Award for Wolf Of Wall Street,

0:20:020:20:05

I think, and I hope, is Jonah Hill.

0:20:050:20:08

Jonah Hill, says Josh.

0:20:080:20:10

Let's see if Jonah Hill's right. I mean, it's certainly right on one...

0:20:100:20:13

Cos it's the hill, just, er... Mount Sinai, isn't it?

0:20:130:20:17

-That's right.

-Yeah, it's a hill. Let's see if that's right.

0:20:170:20:20

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jonah Hill.

0:20:200:20:22

It is right. Very well done.

0:20:240:20:26

Very well done, Josh.

0:20:310:20:33

That's a great answer. 9.

0:20:330:20:35

Very well played, Josh, yeah.

0:20:370:20:39

Jonah, of course, the clumsiest man in the Bible.

0:20:390:20:41

Swallowed by a whale, silly thing! Can you believe it?

0:20:410:20:45

-Oh!

-Oh! Grr!

0:20:450:20:48

That's infuriating, isn't it?

0:20:480:20:50

There's a couple here we can work out, I think.

0:20:500:20:52

The scientist who developed the laws of motion - Isaac Newton.

0:20:520:20:55

-Isaac Newton.

-24 there.

0:20:550:20:57

-Isaac, there, being the guy from the Bible.

-I've got you.

0:20:570:21:00

The president of the United States with a very famous biblical name.

0:21:000:21:03

-I'm going to say Abraham Lincoln.

-You are correct.

-That would be...

0:21:030:21:06

Abraham Lincoln would've scored 16 points.

0:21:060:21:09

The Canadian actress is Elisha Cuthbert.

0:21:090:21:12

Would have scored you 3. And this is a pointless answer.

0:21:120:21:15

Very well done if you said Mark Moses.

0:21:150:21:19

Mark Moses.

0:21:190:21:21

Named, of course, after St Mark.

0:21:210:21:24

-I mean, he wins every which way, doesn't he?

-Yeah, doesn't he just?

0:21:240:21:27

-Quite impressive. Very impressive.

-His middle name is Deuteronomy.

0:21:270:21:30

LAUGHTER

0:21:300:21:32

Oh. But he covers both books, as well, which is good.

0:21:320:21:34

-Yeah, he really does.

-Both Testaments.

0:21:340:21:36

Thank you very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round, so let's look at the scores.

0:21:360:21:40

9 the best score of that pass, Josh. Well done, you.

0:21:400:21:43

Jonah Hill - great answer.

0:21:430:21:44

47, Paula and Leeanne. I think you're still in there.

0:21:440:21:47

Now, Annette and Pat, that is a high score but, Pat, the next board

0:21:470:21:52

might be lovely. There might be something you love the look of,

0:21:520:21:54

and there might be some hundreds flying around.

0:21:540:21:56

So anything could happen is all I'm saying. Best of luck.

0:21:560:21:59

We're going to come back down the line. Second players, please step up to the podium.

0:21:590:22:02

OK, let's put six more clues on the board. And here come our next bunch.

0:22:050:22:09

I shall read those one last time.

0:22:290:22:31

-Luis.

-Hmm.

-Luis.

0:22:510:22:55

I only know one of them...

0:22:560:22:58

-That's enough.

-..I think, I think.

0:22:580:23:00

I'm going to go for the former Alaska governor from 2006 to 2009 -

0:23:000:23:04

Sarah Palin.

0:23:040:23:05

Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin.

0:23:050:23:07

OK, so, if you can score 90 or less,

0:23:070:23:10

you are definitely in the next round. Here is your red line.

0:23:100:23:13

Get below that with Sarah Palin and you are through to the next round.

0:23:130:23:16

Very well done.

0:23:190:23:20

20. Takes your total up to 29. Very good indeed.

0:23:270:23:30

Yes, Sarah in the Bible was the half-sister and wife of Abraham

0:23:300:23:34

-and the mother of Isaac.

-Let's just draw a veil over that, shall we?

0:23:340:23:37

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Pat,

0:23:370:23:41

Pat, you're on 100.

0:23:410:23:42

You're the high scorers at the moment. A nice low score from you...

0:23:420:23:46

-How do you like this board, Pat?

-I preferred the last one! Well, I...

0:23:460:23:50

I know one for sure and one I'm not sure of.

0:23:500:23:53

-I'll go for the American outlaw and say Jesse James.

-Jesse James.

0:23:550:24:01

Jesse James, says Pat.

0:24:010:24:04

No red line, as you're the high scorers,

0:24:040:24:05

but let's see how far down the column we get with Jesse James.

0:24:050:24:08

Absolutely right.

0:24:100:24:12

Oh, Pat, this is exactly what we needed from you.

0:24:150:24:18

18.

0:24:180:24:19

-Taking your total up to 118.

-Yeah, given yourself a chance.

0:24:200:24:23

James in the Bible, of course, the author of the Book Of James.

0:24:230:24:26

-Yeah, but also Jesse.

-Big J, they called him.

-Big J.

0:24:260:24:29

Well, briefly they called him Big J,

0:24:290:24:31

till somebody else came and took the nickname.

0:24:310:24:34

-The rod of Jesse.

-The rod of Jesse?

-The rod of Jesse.

0:24:340:24:37

"A stem shall branch forth out of the rod of Jesse."

0:24:370:24:41

Sorry, this is me just...

0:24:410:24:42

-I'm having a vision.

-Wouldn't it be amazing if this is the moment...

0:24:420:24:46

-Wouldn't it be amazing?

-..where you turned.

0:24:460:24:48

I pushed over my podium and light shone out of my hands.

0:24:480:24:52

-I would love that!

-And I asked for money!

0:24:520:24:54

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:24:560:24:58

Now, Leeanne, 70 or less gets you in, which I think is fine.

0:24:580:25:01

It basically means, if you have a good answer on that board you're fine,

0:25:010:25:04

but they have been tough, these boards.

0:25:040:25:07

Do you fancy talking us through the board?

0:25:070:25:09

SHE GIGGLES

0:25:090:25:10

I should know biblical names,

0:25:100:25:12

seeing as I went to a Catholic school all my life, but...

0:25:120:25:15

..I have no idea! The only one that I did know has already gone.

0:25:160:25:20

My mum's board would have been better.

0:25:200:25:23

And the only person I know who was in ER, who was a doctor,

0:25:230:25:28

is George Clooney.

0:25:280:25:31

So I'm going to go for that one.

0:25:310:25:33

I think he was in ER. If he's not, then this is really bad!

0:25:330:25:36

Clooney, George Clooney. Well, there is the red line

0:25:360:25:41

you have to get below, Leeanne. It just has to be right.

0:25:410:25:43

George Clooney. How many of our 100 people said that?

0:25:430:25:47

Oh, I'm sorry, Leeanne!

0:25:490:25:53

Our second returning pair will be leaving.

0:25:530:25:57

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 147.

0:25:570:26:00

Yeah, sorry, Leeanne. Do you know there are no Georges in the Bible?

0:26:000:26:04

It's not a very biblical name, George, is it?

0:26:040:26:07

I mean, there's a St George, but...

0:26:070:26:09

Exactly. They're not always in the Bible.

0:26:090:26:11

There was a George in one of the early drafts of the Bible but he was written out.

0:26:110:26:14

-He was written out. I know!

-He was supposed to be...

0:26:140:26:17

He was going to be played by Danny Dyer, in the...

0:26:170:26:20

Bible TV series, so Dyer turned up first day and they just said,

0:26:200:26:23

-"No, he's been written out."

-No, no.

-Dyer was fuming!

0:26:230:26:27

-But then he got the EastEnders part the week after.

-So it was OK.

0:26:270:26:29

So, you know, it's one of those things, isn't it? God moving in mysterious ways there.

0:26:290:26:34

But the actor from ER was Noah Wyle.

0:26:340:26:38

That would have scored you 17 points. The English diarist?

0:26:380:26:41

-I'm going to go with Samuel Pepys.

-Correct. Would've scored you 24.

0:26:410:26:45

The actor and musician...

0:26:450:26:46

The most famous person from The Partridge Family, essentially.

0:26:460:26:49

-Cassidy. What's his name?

-Well, it's a biblical...

0:26:490:26:52

Cassidy's the surname and the first name is like, a famous king from the Bible.

0:26:520:26:56

-Herod Cassidy is the answer to that.

-There you go.

0:26:560:26:59

-David Cassidy.

-David Cassidy.

-David Cassidy, would've scored you 22.

0:26:590:27:02

You'll know this. He's been on Pointless Celebrities

0:27:020:27:04

-a couple of times.

-Benjamin Zephaniah.

0:27:040:27:06

The wonderful Benjamin Zephaniah. That's the best answer on the board.

0:27:060:27:09

-3 points if you got that.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:27:090:27:11

We come to the end of our second round. I'm so sorry.

0:27:110:27:13

Leeanne and Paula, I thought you were a dead cert for the final,

0:27:130:27:16

I have to say. That was a tough board.

0:27:160:27:18

I mean, that was a tough round, I should say. Two tough boards there.

0:27:180:27:21

Might you have known any of those, Leeanne? Obviously, once we go through them,

0:27:210:27:24

-it becomes much easier.

-I think we should have swapped places.

0:27:240:27:27

I'm really sorry to be saying goodbye to you.

0:27:270:27:29

It's been brilliant having you. Leeanne and Paula, wonderful contestants. Thanks for playing.

0:27:290:27:33

APPLAUSE

0:27:330:27:36

But, for the two remaining pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

0:27:360:27:39

Well, congratulations, Josh and Luis, Annette and Pat.

0:27:440:27:46

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

0:27:460:27:49

for that jackpot, which, very excitingly, is standing at...

0:27:490:27:52

Well, here you are in the head-to-head.

0:27:580:27:59

You get to play as a team.

0:27:590:28:01

You can confer before you give your answers, and the first pair

0:28:010:28:03

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:28:030:28:06

Wonderful to have you all in this head-to-head. Two new pairs.

0:28:060:28:09

Best of luck to both of you. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:28:090:28:12

Here's your first question. And our first question today concerns...

0:28:180:28:22

Elizabeth Taylor films, Richard?

0:28:240:28:26

We'll show you five stills from Elizabeth Taylor films.

0:28:260:28:28

-Can you name the films, please?

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:28:280:28:31

Let's reveal our five stills. And here they are. We've got...

0:28:310:28:34

There we are. Five Elizabeth Taylor films.

0:29:020:29:06

Now, Josh and Luis, you've been our low scorers,

0:29:060:29:08

so you will get to answer first.

0:29:080:29:10

THEY CONFER

0:29:100:29:13

We'd like to go for E and say The Flintstones.

0:29:180:29:23

E, The Flintstones, say Josh and Luis. E, The Flintstones.

0:29:230:29:27

Now, Annette and Pat, do you want to talk us through the rest of

0:29:270:29:30

-those films, see how many you can get?

-Right.

0:29:300:29:33

Er, we think A is National Velvet.

0:29:330:29:37

B is Antony And Cleopatra.

0:29:370:29:41

C, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

0:29:410:29:44

And D,

0:29:440:29:46

Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

0:29:460:29:48

So I think we're going to go with D.

0:29:480:29:50

D, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

0:29:500:29:52

So we have The Flintstones and we have Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

0:29:520:29:56

Now, Josh and Luis went for The Flintstones for E.

0:29:560:29:58

Let's see how many people got that.

0:29:580:30:00

It's right.

0:30:030:30:04

46.

0:30:070:30:08

46. Now, Annette and Pat have gone for D,

0:30:100:30:14

Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

0:30:140:30:15

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for that.

0:30:150:30:18

It's right.

0:30:210:30:23

I have a feeling...

0:30:240:30:25

Yes, it's going to beat The Flintstones.

0:30:250:30:27

Down to 9. Very well done indeed.

0:30:270:30:29

That's a great answer, Annette and Pat. Very well done indeed.

0:30:290:30:32

-After one question, you are up 1-0.

-Very well played.

0:30:320:30:35

Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? versus The Flintstones.

0:30:350:30:37

She won an Oscar for one of those films.

0:30:370:30:39

I will let you work out which one it was!

0:30:390:30:42

You were correct about National Velvet, the first one.

0:30:420:30:45

That would have scored 43 points.

0:30:460:30:48

-The horse won an Oscar for that film.

-Yes.

-Yeah, Best Horse.

0:30:480:30:53

Best Supporting Horse, I think it was.

0:30:530:30:56

B. It's just Cleopatra, actually, not Antony And Cleopatra.

0:30:580:31:01

Would have been interesting if you'd gone for it. Would have scored 61.

0:31:010:31:05

And C is Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

0:31:070:31:10

And that would have scored 14.

0:31:100:31:12

So best answer on the board there, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

0:31:120:31:15

-Well played.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

0:31:150:31:17

So, here comes your second question.

0:31:170:31:19

Now, Annette and Pat get to answer it first but, Josh and Luis,

0:31:190:31:22

we need you to win this one if you're going to stay in the game, so best of luck.

0:31:220:31:25

Our second question this afternoon concerns...

0:31:250:31:28

City Guilds, Richard.

0:31:300:31:31

We'll show you the names of five livery companies -

0:31:310:31:34

those are the city guilds of trades in London -

0:31:340:31:36

but we've removed alternate letters.

0:31:360:31:38

Can you fill in those gaps, please, and tell us what these guilds are?

0:31:380:31:42

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five livery companies.

0:31:420:31:45

And here they are.

0:31:450:31:46

I'll read those all one last time.

0:31:560:31:58

Annette and Pat will answer first.

0:32:050:32:09

The last one is haberdashers.

0:32:090:32:12

-Which one shall we go for?

-Haberdashers.

0:32:120:32:15

Right, we'll go for the bottom one,

0:32:150:32:18

which we think is haberdashers.

0:32:180:32:20

Haberdashers, say Annette and Pat. Haberdashers.

0:32:200:32:24

How about you, Josh and Luis?

0:32:240:32:25

-Do you fancy filling in any of those missing ones?

-No.

0:32:250:32:28

It's not going to go well, this!

0:32:300:32:32

Er, bakery, for BKR.

0:32:320:32:35

OK, bakery.

0:32:350:32:37

So we have haberdashers and we have bakery.

0:32:370:32:39

Well, in the order they were given, Annette and Pat said haberdashers.

0:32:390:32:44

Let's see if that's right, the livery company, haberdashers.

0:32:440:32:47

It's right.

0:32:510:32:52

34 for haberdashers.

0:32:540:32:58

Josh and Luis have gone for bakery.

0:33:010:33:04

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:33:040:33:06

Ooh, bad luck, Josh and Luis.

0:33:090:33:11

You both hung your heads at the same time there! I'm really sorry.

0:33:110:33:15

You'll see in a moment why that wasn't right but, Annette and Pat,

0:33:150:33:18

very well done indeed.

0:33:180:33:20

After only two questions, you're straight through to the final, 2-0.

0:33:200:33:23

Yes, well played. Let's take a look through these. It's not bakery.

0:33:230:33:26

-It's...

-Bakers.

-Yeah, the Company Of Bakers.

0:33:260:33:29

That would have scored you 50 points.

0:33:290:33:32

The top one there, that is...

0:33:320:33:34

-Drapers.

-..the drapers.

0:33:340:33:36

Would have scored you 18. The next one...

0:33:360:33:38

I was very keen to say drapers, cos I haven't worked out the second one.

0:33:380:33:41

-Ah!

-It's sort of an older name for merchant.

-Oh, mercers.

0:33:410:33:44

The mercers. That would've scored you two. Best answer by a mile.

0:33:440:33:49

-And...

-Plumbers.

-Yes, 27 points for that.

0:33:490:33:52

Funny how the first three are all surnames and the bottom two aren't.

0:33:520:33:55

-Oh, Plummer is, I suppose, spelt differently.

-Yeah.

0:33:550:33:57

-But there's not many Haberdashers.

-No.

0:33:570:34:00

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:34:000:34:01

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:34:010:34:04

our low-scoring pair, Josh and Luis.

0:34:040:34:06

I mean, nothing wrong with...

0:34:060:34:08

Actually, yeah, something wrong with your second answer.

0:34:080:34:10

I knew plumbers! When I saw plumbers, I...

0:34:100:34:12

-Well, obviously, I knew it then, but...

-I know. It's tough, that.

0:34:120:34:15

You know, it's always tough when you're under those lights as well.

0:34:150:34:18

You'll be back next time, which is great. If you'd got to the final,

0:34:180:34:21

that would've been it, just one show. We'll get to see you then. We look forward to that.

0:34:210:34:24

But meantime, thanks very much, Josh and Luis.

0:34:240:34:27

APPLAUSE

0:34:270:34:29

But, for Annette and Pat, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:290:34:32

Congratulations, Annette and Pat.

0:34:370:34:38

You have fought off all the competition and you have won

0:34:380:34:41

our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:34:410:34:43

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and at the end

0:34:490:34:52

of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £4,250.

0:34:520:34:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:550:34:58

Well, it's been a pretty impressive performance,

0:34:590:35:02

with the single exception of Matthew McConaughey.

0:35:020:35:05

You haven't put a foot wrong.

0:35:050:35:06

Very impressive with the Liz Taylor films, as well.

0:35:060:35:09

Very, very well done. Anything you'd particularly like to see come up in this last round?

0:35:090:35:14

-You know what they're like, these last rounds.

-Not sports!

-Not sports.

0:35:140:35:18

-Have you revised anything? Sometimes people do.

-Possibly.

-No, I don't...

0:35:180:35:22

OK, don't let on. Don't let on yet! You know what happens.

0:35:220:35:25

You get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board.

0:35:250:35:28

Let's see what today's selection looks like.

0:35:280:35:31

Champions League Football! Pat, you'll be all over that!

0:35:310:35:35

-Oh!

-Classic Live Albums By Bands.

-I think I'd...

0:35:430:35:49

-I wasn't alive in the 1890s.

-You weren't alive in the 1890s?

0:35:490:35:52

No, I wasn't, either.

0:35:520:35:53

-Definitely not football.

-You don't want football?

-Well, do you?

-OK.

0:35:560:35:59

Well, it's Champions League, so...

0:35:590:36:01

No.

0:36:030:36:04

-Shall we go for People? We can maybe guess it.

-Yeah, go on, then.

0:36:060:36:09

People Alive In The 1890S.

0:36:090:36:11

-People Alive In The 1890S, say Annette and Pat.

-OK, a fun one, this.

0:36:110:36:15

Testing some historical knowledge.

0:36:150:36:17

We are looking for any of the following, please.

0:36:170:36:19

Any person who has been president of the USA,

0:36:190:36:21

who was alive at any time during the 1890s.

0:36:210:36:23

They don't have to have been president during the 1890s,

0:36:230:36:26

just they were alive in the 1890s.

0:36:260:36:28

Any UK prime minister who was alive in the 1890s.

0:36:280:36:31

Or any Nobel Prize For Literature winner

0:36:310:36:34

who was alive during the 1890s.

0:36:340:36:36

So anyone in any of these three categories who was alive

0:36:360:36:38

at any point during the 1890s, please. Very best of luck.

0:36:380:36:42

Thanks very much indeed. OK, now, as always,

0:36:420:36:45

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:36:450:36:47

and all you need to win that jackpot -

0:36:470:36:49

nice big jackpot, remember, Annette and Pat -

0:36:490:36:51

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:36:510:36:53

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

0:36:530:36:56

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:36:560:36:58

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:36:580:37:00

Right. Nobel Prize winners?

0:37:010:37:03

No. UK prime ministers...

0:37:030:37:06

Who was around with...

0:37:060:37:07

So it would be, like, Gladstone,

0:37:070:37:09

-Disraeli...

-Yeah, Disraeli.

0:37:090:37:11

Those are two obvious ones, though.

0:37:110:37:12

Yeah, but hey-ho. US presidents?

0:37:120:37:16

1890s...

0:37:160:37:18

I know a few but I don't know when they were around, so...

0:37:180:37:21

Er... I don't know.

0:37:220:37:25

I'm trying to think. 1890s...

0:37:250:37:28

Er...

0:37:280:37:30

Who was the president...

0:37:310:37:33

Oh, who was the president when Victoria was on the throne?

0:37:330:37:37

-Abraham Lincoln?

-Was he? Could have been. I don't know!

0:37:370:37:43

Well, we'll just say him.

0:37:430:37:45

-Let's say him.

-Abraham Lincoln.

0:37:450:37:49

Ten seconds left.

0:37:490:37:50

For prime ministers, we'll go with Gladstone and Disraeli. Yeah?

0:37:500:37:54

-Go on, then. I can't think of any. I've gone blank.

-OK.

0:37:540:37:58

Well, as your time runs out - there we go -

0:37:580:38:01

it sounds like you've arrived at your three answers.

0:38:010:38:04

Er, US president - we'll go for...

0:38:040:38:07

Who did you say? Abraham Lincoln.

0:38:070:38:09

Abraham Lincoln. OK.

0:38:090:38:11

And the UK prime ministers - Benjamin Disraeli...

0:38:110:38:16

-Benjamin Disraeli.

-And...

0:38:160:38:18

-William Gladstone.

-And William Gladstone. OK.

0:38:180:38:21

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

0:38:210:38:24

-Er, Gladstone.

-William Gladstone we'll put last.

0:38:240:38:27

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Abraham Lincoln.

0:38:270:38:30

Abraham Lincoln we'll put first.

0:38:300:38:32

OK, and we'll put Benjamin Disraeli in the middle.

0:38:320:38:34

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then, and here they are.

0:38:340:38:38

We've got Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone.

0:38:380:38:43

Well, good luck.

0:38:430:38:44

Now, let's say one of these answers wins you that jackpot, £4,250.

0:38:440:38:48

Very nice to be taking that home. What would you do with it? Annette?

0:38:480:38:52

Part of it would go towards a return trip to Las Vegas.

0:38:520:38:57

My husband leaves me a poker widow quite often, so...

0:38:570:39:01

Oh, that'd be nice. You could go along and...

0:39:010:39:03

-Yes.

-No, he could go along and play poker, I'd go and sit by the pool.

0:39:030:39:08

Oh, I see. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Pat, how about you?

0:39:080:39:11

I think I'd have a trip, as well, with my husband,

0:39:110:39:14

cos we celebrated our ruby wedding recently and we weren't

0:39:140:39:17

able to travel then, so it'd be nice to take him away somewhere now.

0:39:170:39:20

Very nice. Well, congratulations. OK, let's hope, let's hope,

0:39:200:39:24

one of these answers wins that jackpot for you.

0:39:240:39:26

A tough round but you came up with three answers.

0:39:260:39:28

Abraham Lincoln was your first.

0:39:280:39:30

We were looking, in all these cases, for people alive in the 1890s.

0:39:300:39:33

They didn't have to be in office in the 1890s -

0:39:330:39:35

they just had to be alive.

0:39:350:39:37

And in this case, we were looking for US presidents.

0:39:370:39:39

Abraham Lincoln - let's see if it's right and let's see how many

0:39:390:39:42

of our 100 people said it. If it is pointless,

0:39:420:39:44

it will win you £4,250.

0:39:440:39:46

Ooh, bad luck!

0:39:500:39:52

Not Abe Lincoln, I'm afraid. Not a pointless answer.

0:39:520:39:55

Which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:39:550:39:58

Your next answer was Benjamin Disraeli.

0:39:580:40:00

In this case, we've now moved across the Atlantic and we're looking at UK prime ministers.

0:40:000:40:04

Prime ministers of Great Britain.

0:40:040:40:06

Let us find out - was Benjamin Disraeli alive in the 1890s?

0:40:060:40:11

If nobody said it, you will leave here with £4,250, but is it right?

0:40:110:40:15

Ooh, bad luck! Bad luck.

0:40:180:40:21

Not Benjamin Disraeli either,

0:40:210:40:23

which means you have one more shot at today's jackpot.

0:40:230:40:26

Very, very best of luck.

0:40:260:40:28

Let's hope nobody said your last answer, William Gladstone.

0:40:280:40:31

Again, we're looking for UK prime ministers alive in the 1890s.

0:40:310:40:34

Let's see how many people said it.

0:40:340:40:35

If nobody said it, you will win £4,250.

0:40:350:40:39

It's right! It's right.

0:40:420:40:45

Your first answer, Abraham Lincoln, was wrong, I'm afraid.

0:40:450:40:48

Your next answer, Benjamin Disraeli,

0:40:480:40:50

was also incorrect. William Gladstone,

0:40:500:40:52

though, taking us down through...

0:40:520:40:53

Oh, there we are. 13.

0:40:530:40:55

That was a good answer. A good answer, that last one.

0:40:590:41:02

Lovely low score.

0:41:020:41:04

Sadly, we only accept pointless answers in this last round, as you

0:41:040:41:07

know, which, I'm afraid, means you don't win today's jackpot of £4,250.

0:41:070:41:12

That will roll over onto the next show. We have loved having you on.

0:41:120:41:15

I'm sorry it's only been one show but it's been brilliant

0:41:150:41:17

having you here, and such a great performance across the show.

0:41:170:41:20

-And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each.

-Yes!

0:41:200:41:22

There you are - something to show for your efforts. Very well done,

0:41:220:41:25

Annette and Pat. Wonderful contestants.

0:41:250:41:27

APPLAUSE

0:41:270:41:30

Yeah, unlucky. Lincoln died a long time before that, I'm afraid.

0:41:300:41:32

1865 he died.

0:41:320:41:34

Disraeli in 1881, so not a million miles out on Disraeli.

0:41:340:41:37

Most of the pointless answers here are the Nobel Literature ones,

0:41:370:41:40

as you'd expect, cos there's far more of them.

0:41:400:41:42

But we'll take a look at the pointless answers for the other two categories first.

0:41:420:41:45

US presidents - just two pointless answers here.

0:41:450:41:48

Rutherford B Hayes - well done if you said that. Warren G Harding.

0:41:480:41:51

One point for Benjamin Harris and Calvin Coolidge,

0:41:510:41:53

Grover Cleveland and William McKinley.

0:41:530:41:55

Two points for Franklin D Roosevelt and Taft,

0:41:550:41:58

and everyone else scored higher than that.

0:41:580:42:00

Only one pointless answer for prime ministers, but a famous one.

0:42:000:42:03

It's Ramsay MacDonald. Very well done if you said Ramsay MacDonald.

0:42:030:42:06

Again, some low scorers there.

0:42:060:42:07

Two points for Robert Gascoyne-Cecil,

0:42:070:42:09

Andrew Bonar Law, one point for Campbell-Bannerman.

0:42:090:42:12

The Earl of Rosebery and Arthur Balfour

0:42:120:42:13

would have scored you one point.

0:42:130:42:15

Lots and lots of pointless answers for Nobel Prize winners

0:42:150:42:17

for Literature. Some famous ones, as well.

0:42:170:42:20

Ernest Hemingway would have won you the money.

0:42:200:42:22

Eugene O'Neill, Pearl Buck.

0:42:220:42:23

TS Eliot would have won you that £4,250.

0:42:230:42:25

You also could have had Sinclair Lewis, Thomas Mann,

0:42:250:42:28

William Faulkner, Hermann Hesse, Andre Gide.

0:42:280:42:31

Lots and lots of pointless answers in that category.

0:42:310:42:34

In fact, everyone apart from Winston Churchill, Rudyard Kipling,

0:42:340:42:37

Selma Lagerlof, John Galsworthy,

0:42:370:42:39

George Bernard Shaw, WB Yeats and Bertrand Russell.

0:42:390:42:42

Everyone else who was on that list was a pointless answer.

0:42:420:42:45

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:42:450:42:46

So, Annette and Pat, very sadly, didn't win our jackpot today,

0:42:460:42:49

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

0:42:490:42:51

when we will be playing for £5,250.

0:42:510:42:54

Join us then to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

0:42:570:43:00

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:000:43:03

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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