Episode 15 Pointless


Episode 15

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

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the show where we are always striving to find the most obscure answers.

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Let's meet today's players.

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-Couple number one.

-Hi, my name's Jo, and this is Leon,

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and we're from Louth in Lincolnshire.

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-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Leeanne and this is my mum, Paula,

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and we are from Huddersfield.

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-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Alison.

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I'm from Cambridge. This is my son, George, he's from London.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Omar. This is my best friend, Dan,

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and we are from Camberley in Surrey.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much, all of you. A warm welcome to the show.

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We'll get to chat to you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He's, and I quote,

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"The nicest person his parole officer has ever met."

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It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya. Hi, everybody.

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-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

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-And to you.

-How are you?

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-I'm very well, thank you.

-Excellent. Are you sure?

-Yeah, I am.

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I never get the chance to say, "And how are you, Richard?" You must think I'm so rude.

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That's nice. Yeah, I've been pretty bad recently.

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No, I'm fine. I'm very well, thank you.

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Looking forward to today's show as well.

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On podium four, there, we've got Dan and Omar, very strong last time,

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got all the way through to the head-to-head,

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got knocked out on a tricky maths question.

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Interesting, of course, cos, on the last show,

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the people who beat you in that head-to-head were Tori and Francis, who were a father-and-daughter team.

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We said father-and-daughter teams often do very well and they got through to the jackpot round.

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Today, we have a mother-and-son team, and they also do well, Alison and George, on podium three.

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But it could be anyone's game. The first round, you know, people get in trouble.

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We don't let people say, "It's before my time." It's banned on this show.

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No-one is saying, "That's before my time," on the first round.

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Well, thank you very much indeed.

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Now, Francis and Tori didn't win the jackpot last time,

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which means we add another £1,000 to that,

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so today's jackpot starts off at £3,250.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

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will be eliminated. That's all you need to remember.

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Very, very best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this afternoon...

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is Recent History.

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Recent History.

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Can you all decide, in your pairs, who is going to go first,

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who is going to go second and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK. And the question concerns...

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Events of the noughties.

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Events of the noughties, Richard.

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We're going to show you seven clues on each pass

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to events that happened in the decade we know as the noughties,

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2000-2009,

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you just have to give us the most obscure answer you can, please.

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14 in all to have a go at at home.

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So, we are looking of the events of the noughties that are described by

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these clues. Here's our first board of seven, and it reads like this.

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I shall read those one last time.

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Leon, welcome to Pointless.

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Good to have you here.

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From Louth in Lincolnshire.

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-Indeed.

-And what do you do in Louth, Leon?

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I'm a manager in a bakery.

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Oh, now, that is nice.

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Is it a sort of artisan bakery?

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It's a wholesale bakery, really.

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-So, we have a couple of shops and then a few hundred other wholesale customers.

-I see.

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I don't do a lot of baking, though, I work in the office.

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Oh, if you ever wanted to sell that office, people would come and go...

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"Oh! Oh!

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"I don't know what it is, that smell, I've got to buy this."

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That's why I accidentally bought that coffee factory the other day.

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Exactly.

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Amazing. Now, Leon.

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-Yes.

-What would you like to go for on this board?

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I think I know two or three of them and I'm going to go for the top one,

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I think it's Woolworths.

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Woolworths, says Leon.

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Let's see if that is right, and if it is,

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let's see how many people said it. Woolworths.

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It is right. Very well done, Leon.

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54.

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APPLAUSE

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I think you deserved a bit lower than that, personally,

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but there we are. 54. Not bad.

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Well played, Leon.

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Eight years ago. Blimey, time flies, doesn't it?

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-Doesn't it?

-I do miss Woolworths.

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Nice. Now, Paula, welcome to Pointless.

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Great to have you here from Huddersfield.

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-What do you do, Paula?

-I work for the local council in Huddersfield.

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How long have you been working for them?

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About 31 years now.

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Wow. You must know it inside out.

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I know bits of it.

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Which particular bit do you know the best?

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The bits that I work in.

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Which bits do you work in?

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LAUGHTER

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I work in the contracts section.

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I see. What are your hobbies, Paula?

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I like adult colouring-in.

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The books. The colouring-in books.

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-Yes, what's...?

-To de-stress.

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What's the adult...?

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I just...

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Let's move on, let's move on, let's move on.

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Paula, what would you like to go for on our board?

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I'd like to go for the bottom one,

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the US band who had their first UK number one single with Sex On Fire.

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Kings Of Leon.

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Kings Of Leon, says Paula.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Kings Of Leon.

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It's right.

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33.

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APPLAUSE

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33. A less popular answer than Woolworths, who would've thought that?

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-Kings Of Leon.

-Well played, Paula.

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Yeah, their only UK number one single.

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They've had four UK number one albums, though.

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Indeed. Thank you very much, Richard.

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George. What do you get up to, George?

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Well, for the last year, I've been plumbing and, in my own time,

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I like to, kind of, come up with inventions.

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Let's just quickly do the plumbing first.

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Plumbing, I mean, that's a wonderful thing to be doing.

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Presumably highly in demand.

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Most plumbers are. Myself, I have a few leaks, occasionally,

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-so maybe not so much but...

-LAUGHTER

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You have just said that on BBC One.

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Er...

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Now, let's just move on to the inventions.

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George, what's the thing you're proudest of to date?

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My favourite one was... I invented it last summer, and it was, like,

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a lunchbox which keeps your ice creams frozen.

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I haven't made it yet but it was, kind of, an idea more than an invention.

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Have you worked out how to do it?

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No. No.

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, hang on, I have an invention -

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a tower block that's a rocket.

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That's another one of mine.

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You can all live quite close together AND get to the moon.

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I'll tell you what, it's the shape and size of a laptop,

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but it's really a time machine.

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Haven't worked out how to make it work yet, but good idea, right?

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Good idea.

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Oh, keep the inventions coming, George.

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What would you like to go for, George?

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I think I would go to the second from the top,

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the particle accelerator near Geneva,

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and I believe it is the Large Hadron Collider.

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The Large "Hay-dron" or "Hah-dron" Collider,

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let's see if that's right.

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How many of our 100 people said it?

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It is right. Well, 54's our highest score and we pass that.

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33 our low score, we pass that.

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What about that?!

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APPLAUSE

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There you go - 9.

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Very well done indeed.

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Yeah, cost £2.6 billion to make.

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It can fire particles at 671 million miles an hour and it can heat things

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up to 100,000 times hotter than the heart of the sun.

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Isn't that amazing? All invented by George.

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Yeah.

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-Incredible.

-Thanks very much indeed.

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Now, then, Dan, welcome back.

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Dan, head-to-head last time.

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-Yes.

-Remind us what you do, Dan.

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I'm a part-time PhD student and I also do some assistant lecturing in

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-sports psychology.

-That's fantastic, so, the sports psychology,

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does that leave any time for you to do other things?

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Invent stuff, maybe?

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No, no inventions this year, unfortunately.

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Just reading a lot of journal articles

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-but that's how I like to live now, so...

-Well, very good.

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Now, Dan.

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-Yes.

-This board, do you want to go through them all and fill them in?

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I know who directed the film, Life Of Pi, but, unfortunately,

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the name of the novelist who wrote it, I don't know.

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I'm going to have to play it safe and go for Facebook,

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for Mark Zuckerberg.

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OK, Facebook, says Dan.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Facebook.

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It's right.

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85.

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APPLAUSE

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85 for Facebook.

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Yeah, it's a big scorer.

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Again, amazing that's only 2004, isn't it,

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when you think of the value of it now?

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-I know.

-Incredible.

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85 points. Now, the soldier awarded the Victoria Cross -

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very well done if you got this, it's the best answer on the board - was Johnson Beharry.

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Would have scored you 5 points.

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Do you know the nickname of 30 St Mary Axe?

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-Gherkin.

-The Gherkin.

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Correct. Would've scored you 24.

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And the author of that novel?

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-Yann Martel.

-Yann Martel is the answer.

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That would have scored you 12.

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So, Johnson Beharry, best answer on the board.

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Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

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9, George and Alison, very well done indeed.

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Your nearest rivals are Paula and Leeanne, on 33.

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Then up to 54, Leon and Jo.

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then up to 85, Dan and Omar, our heads-to-headers last time.

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We're going to come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, seven more clues to go up on the board for events from the noughties.

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Here they are. We've got...

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I'll read those one last time.

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Now, Omar, welcome back. Remind us what you do, Omar.

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So, I'm a book editor.

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But what kind of books?

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So, a lot of comic books, a lot of film and TV books.

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-Fun stuff, basically.

-I mean, it's pointless stuff.

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-It's a pointless gold mine, isn't it?

-Absolutely.

-You kind of have a bit...

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What I'm saying is that you have no excuse not to score very low here.

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Oh, OK. Pressure.

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Fine. This is just... Music to your ears, I would imagine.

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There are a few that I know, that I'm confident of,

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but I think I'm going to have to go for a gamble.

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-OK.

-I'm going for the bank that was nationalised in 2008.

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I believe that was Northern Rock.

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Northern Rock, says Omar.

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No red line for you, Omar,

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as you are the high scorers but let's see how far down the column

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you can get with Northern Rock.

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Let's see if it's right.

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It is right.

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Look at that, 32.

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APPLAUSE

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Very well done indeed.

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117 is your total.

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Yeah, again, perhaps a score bigger than you'd think.

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Like Woolworths as well. It's interesting.

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The stories that really stay with people and the names that stay with people.

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Yeah, the first British bank in 150 years to suffer a run, in 2007.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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Alison, I have good news.

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It doesn't matter what you score here, you are still going through to the next round.

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But let's put that to one side for the moment. Tell us what you do, Alison.

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I'm a decorator.

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-How long have you done that for?

-15 years.

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It must be really satisfying.

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I mean, no room ever looks better than just after it's been decorated.

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And what are your interests when not decorating?

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I like playing a bit of sport.

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None of which I'm very good at.

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But my best hobby is embarrassing my children when I can.

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Oh, that's fun. I try and do that as often as I can.

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Alison, there you are on 9.

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Doesn't matter what you score, you're through to the next round anyhow.

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What would you like to go for?

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In that case, I think I'm going to be a coward and go for the top one,

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and say Doctor Who.

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Doctor Who, says Alison.

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Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

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No red line, you're already through.

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76.

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APPLAUSE

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85 is your total.

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Yeah, 2005 saw the first regular episode of Doctor Who

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in over 15 years.

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That's exciting, wasn't it?

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-Still going now.

-Still going.

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-Still on telly.

-Yeah.

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OK, now, Leeanne, what do you get up to in Huddersfield, Leeanne?

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There's not much, really, to do in Huddersfield, to be honest.

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But in my meantime, I am a student with the Open University.

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-What are you studying?

-Childhood and youth studies.

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Do you know how long you're going to be doing the course for?

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Have you selected which length you go for?

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I'm doing it part-time at the moment.

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So, what is that, four years?

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Minimum of four.

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If I decide to go full, more six.

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See, that's nice. You're taking it at your own pace.

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-Yeah.

-Oh, I wish...

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If I'd done university at that place, I'd probably still be doing my course now.

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But there we are. Anyway, listen, Leeanne, there you are on 33.

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Our high scorers are on 117,

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our head-to-headers last time, Omar and Dan.

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If you can score 83 or less, you are into the next round.

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Well, I know four, I think.

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I think I am going to go for the planet discovered in 1930,

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reclassified as a dwarf planet, as Pluto.

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Pluto, says Leeanne.

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Pluto. Here's your red line.

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Get below that with Pluto, you are in the next round.

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How many of our 100 people said Pluto?

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It's right and you're through.

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Very well done.

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59. Good answer, Leeanne.

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APPLAUSE

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That takes your total up to 92.

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Well played, Leeanne.

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Good answer. It was very disconcerting for everybody when that was reclassified, wasn't it?

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Cos we grew up with a certain knowledge of how many planets there were, now there's one fewer.

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I think there's going to be more discovered, some might be reclassified.

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There might be hundreds, eventually.

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There we are. Now, Jo, welcome to Pointless.

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Great to have you here. What do you do, Jo?

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I'm actually studying with the Open Uni as well.

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I'm doing a psychology degree.

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And I also work part-time in a petrol station as a sales advisor.

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-Do you have some kind of cafe in there?

-No.

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-Oh, what a relief.

-It's very small.

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I know, but wouldn't it be terrible if you had muffins being baked...?

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Well, Leon will know this from experience.

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Having muffins being baked in your place of work.

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-Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

-Oh! Ah, it'd be terrible.

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OK, Jo, there you are.

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54. You have to score 62 or less to get through to the next round.

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Do you want to talk us through that board?

0:16:190:16:21

Well, the only ones that I knew have gone now.

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But I have a feeling that the last one might be Avatar.

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Avatar, says Jo. Here is your red line.

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Get below that with Avatar and you are through to the next round.

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How many people said Avatar?

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It's right.

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And you're through. Very well done.

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41. Superb. APPLAUSE

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95 is your total.

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Well played, Jo.

0:16:500:16:52

Very nicely done. Yes, set in the mid-22nd century, Avatar,

0:16:520:16:56

which is not that far away, is it, if you think about it?

0:16:560:16:58

-Not really.

-Now, the Alan Bennett play...

0:16:580:17:00

-The History Boys.

-..is The History Boys, yep.

0:17:000:17:02

Would've scored 8 points.

0:17:020:17:03

The British female athlete is Dame Kelly Holmes.

0:17:030:17:06

-Kelly Holmes.

-Would've scored you 16.

0:17:060:17:09

And the best answer on the board,

0:17:090:17:10

scored England's only try, was Jason Robinson.

0:17:100:17:13

Would've scored you 3 points.

0:17:130:17:15

-Very well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

0:17:150:17:18

So, at the end of our first round, the pair who we're sending home...

0:17:180:17:21

I can't believe this, Omar and Dan.

0:17:210:17:23

I really can't. But our only returning pair and we send you back for an early bath, I'm afraid.

0:17:230:17:27

But it's been great having you on. Thanks so much for playing, Omar and Dan.

0:17:270:17:30

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:17:330:17:36

And so we are down to three pairs.

0:17:410:17:43

At the end of this round, obviously, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

0:17:430:17:47

Well, George, the Hadron Collider.

0:17:470:17:48

Very, very well done.

0:17:480:17:50

-Thank you.

-The best answer of that round.

0:17:500:17:52

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:17:520:17:54

Our category for Round Two this afternoon...

0:17:540:17:56

..is TV Comedy.

0:17:570:17:58

TV Comedy. Can you decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

0:17:580:18:01

who's going to go second and whoever's going first,

0:18:010:18:03

please step up to the podium.

0:18:030:18:05

OK. And the question concerns...

0:18:080:18:12

TV comedy shows with "The" in the title.

0:18:120:18:15

TV comedy shows with "The" in the title, Richard.

0:18:170:18:20

Xander is about to show you a list of six TV comedy shows.

0:18:200:18:22

They all start with the word "The".

0:18:220:18:24

They also have the year they first appeared.

0:18:240:18:26

We're looking for anyone who's appeared in five or more episodes of any of these shows, please.

0:18:260:18:31

Thank you very much.

0:18:310:18:32

So, as Richard just mentioned, we're going to put that list up of comedy shows.

0:18:320:18:36

That list will stay up the whole way through the round.

0:18:360:18:38

So, we won't be changing that list halfway through. It'll stay for the whole round.

0:18:380:18:41

You just have to name anyone who's appeared in five or more episodes.

0:18:410:18:44

You don't even have to say which show it is you're talking about, just throw out a name.

0:18:440:18:48

Let's reveal our six shows, and here they are.

0:18:480:18:51

I'll read those all again.

0:19:050:19:06

-Jo.

-I think I shall go for The Rise And Fall Of Reginald Perrin,

0:19:120:19:19

-Leonard Rossiter.

-Leonard Rossiter, says Jo.

0:19:190:19:22

Leonard Rossiter. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Leonard Rossiter.

0:19:220:19:25

47.

0:19:320:19:34

APPLAUSE

0:19:340:19:35

47 for Leonard Rossiter.

0:19:350:19:37

Yeah, appeared in 21 episodes.

0:19:370:19:39

Obviously, he plays Reggie Perrin himself.

0:19:390:19:41

Thank you, Richard.

0:19:410:19:43

Now, Paula.

0:19:430:19:45

The Liver Birds, and I'll go for...

0:19:450:19:49

-Mollie Sugden.

-Mollie Sugden.

0:19:490:19:51

I think she played Nerys Hughes' mum.

0:19:510:19:53

Mollie Sugden, says Paula.

0:19:530:19:55

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said

0:19:550:19:58

Mollie Sugden.

0:19:580:19:59

It's right.

0:20:020:20:03

Now, 47 is our only score so far

0:20:030:20:05

and you pass that with Mollie Sugden quite comfortably.

0:20:050:20:09

Oh, it's a one! APPLAUSE

0:20:090:20:11

It's a one, Paula.

0:20:110:20:12

Very well done, indeed.

0:20:120:20:14

That's a great score. Mollie Sugden.

0:20:140:20:16

It's a great answer, Paula.

0:20:160:20:18

Very well played, yeah. 49 episodes she was in and she did play

0:20:180:20:22

the character you say. Obviously, the other person you mentioned now,

0:20:220:20:26

Leeanne won't be able to use as an answer but anyone else will be allowed to,

0:20:260:20:29

I'm afraid. So, you've given away a little clue there to someone else.

0:20:290:20:32

Thank you very much indeed.

0:20:320:20:34

Now, George.

0:20:340:20:35

I'm going to go with... I think his name on the show is Moss

0:20:350:20:38

and his name is Richard Och...anoyu...?

0:20:380:20:40

SCOTTISH ACCENT: "Och, I know you," as they say...

0:20:420:20:45

LAUGHTER

0:20:450:20:46

-I think he's Scottish.

-As they say...

0:20:480:20:51

Richard Ochanoyu.

0:20:510:20:53

Let's see if Richard Ochanoyu is...

0:20:530:20:57

Oh, it's such a good name.

0:20:570:20:59

Let's see if it's right.

0:21:000:21:02

-Oh.

-Unbelievable!

0:21:050:21:07

George, hats off to you.

0:21:080:21:11

I know exactly what you mean.

0:21:110:21:12

I love that you didn't think of going from someone

0:21:120:21:15

whose name you knew!

0:21:150:21:16

LAUGHTER

0:21:160:21:17

I salute you, George.

0:21:190:21:20

That's brilliant. I'm sad to say that it scores you 100 points, though.

0:21:200:21:24

-It's wrong.

-Of course, a very famous acting family, the Ochanoyus.

0:21:240:21:27

There's Dame Maggie Ochanoyu and, of course, Benedict Ochanoyu,

0:21:270:21:32

who's done amazingly recently, hasn't he?

0:21:320:21:34

But no, Richard, the younger brother is...

0:21:340:21:37

He's a plumber, actually, Richard Ochanoyu.

0:21:370:21:40

Thank you very much. Well, before we head down back the line,

0:21:400:21:42

let's check on those scores.

0:21:420:21:44

One, Paula. What about that?

0:21:440:21:45

Fabulous answer from you.

0:21:450:21:47

47's where we find Jo and Leon

0:21:470:21:50

and 100, I'm afraid, Richard Ochanoyu,

0:21:500:21:53

on the far podium, George.

0:21:530:21:55

So, Alison, you have a mountain to climb, I'm afraid.

0:21:550:21:57

That's not to say you can't do that.

0:21:570:21:59

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:21:590:22:03

OK, Alison. Remember, we are looking for anyone who has appeared in five or more episodes

0:22:060:22:10

of any of these TV shows and, obviously,

0:22:100:22:12

you're going to try and find the lowest possible score you can.

0:22:120:22:15

OK, I am least going to try and find a name that I think is a name.

0:22:150:22:19

And I'm hoping that Robert Powell was in The Detectives.

0:22:200:22:23

Robert Powell, says Alison.

0:22:230:22:25

No red line for you as you're the high scorers, but how many people said Robert Powell?

0:22:250:22:28

There we are. Robert Powell.

0:22:310:22:33

Good answer. Look at that.

0:22:360:22:37

Very well done indeed.

0:22:370:22:39

9.

0:22:390:22:40

APPLAUSE

0:22:400:22:41

You might have kept yourself in the game there.

0:22:410:22:43

109 is your total, Alison.

0:22:430:22:45

Robert Powell. Not his real name.

0:22:450:22:47

His real name is... Robert Ochanoyu is his real name.

0:22:470:22:51

Thank you very much, Richard.

0:22:510:22:53

Now then, Leeanne.

0:22:530:22:55

Great news for you. You are through to the head-to-head whatever happens.

0:22:550:22:59

But let's see if you've got a good answer.

0:22:590:23:01

I bet you have.

0:23:010:23:02

I'm just going to take a guess

0:23:030:23:06

and I'm going to say, Peter Kay, cos he's been in everything.

0:23:060:23:09

Peter Kay. Peter Kay because he's been in everything.

0:23:090:23:12

He has. He's been in everything. No red line as you're already through,

0:23:120:23:15

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Peter Kay, if it's right.

0:23:150:23:18

He hasn't been in any of these, Leeanne, I'm afraid.

0:23:220:23:24

That scores you 100 points,

0:23:240:23:26

takes your total up to 101 but you are through anyway.

0:23:260:23:28

Yeah, sorry, Leeanne. I mean,

0:23:280:23:30

the good news is that you're so far away from not being the worst answer

0:23:300:23:33

we've had in this round, so that's...

0:23:330:23:35

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:23:350:23:37

Now, Leon, this is exciting.

0:23:370:23:40

-No.

-This is exciting.

0:23:400:23:42

You're on 47. You have to score 61 or less.

0:23:420:23:45

I don't think it's Richard... But Richard O'Dowell.

0:23:460:23:49

-Richard O'Dowell.

-Yeah.

0:23:500:23:51

Richard O'Dowell, says Leon.

0:23:510:23:54

There is your red line, Leon.

0:23:540:23:56

Now, a lot is hanging here.

0:23:560:23:58

This could be the moment where the Ochanoyu is but a distant memory.

0:23:580:24:04

We will have to find out. Richard O'Dowell.

0:24:040:24:06

Is that a correct answer?

0:24:060:24:08

And, if it is correct, will it get you below that red line?

0:24:080:24:11

Let's see how may people said Richard O'Dowell.

0:24:110:24:13

Oh, no.

0:24:160:24:18

Sorry. Sorry, Leon.

0:24:180:24:20

I think I know what you were going for

0:24:200:24:22

but I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 147.

0:24:220:24:26

Yeah, can I point out, Paula,

0:24:260:24:27

earlier in the round, literally said, "Nerys Hughes"?

0:24:270:24:30

She said, "Nerys Hughes".

0:24:300:24:32

Would have scored you 21 points, Nerys Hughes,

0:24:320:24:34

if anyone had fancied saying it.

0:24:340:24:36

Now, this is all about the IT Crowd.

0:24:360:24:38

The two main actors in the IT Crowd, and they are Chris O'Dowd -

0:24:380:24:42

Chris O'Dowd would have scored you 11 points -

0:24:420:24:44

..and Richard Ayoade...

0:24:440:24:46

-Close.

-..who would have scored you...

0:24:460:24:48

Not really close, to be honest.

0:24:480:24:51

You got the first name absolutely spot-on.

0:24:510:24:53

He would have scored you 11 points as well.

0:24:550:24:57

I'll take you through some of the big scorers, scores that would have seen you through.

0:24:570:25:00

James Corden in The Wrong Mans would have only scored you 12 points.

0:25:000:25:03

The IT Crowd, Noel Fielding would have scored you five,

0:25:030:25:05

Katherine Parkinson - five, Matt Berry - four. Chris Morris would have scored you one.

0:25:050:25:10

Rise And Fall Of Reginald Perrin, Geoffrey Palmer would have scored you two.

0:25:100:25:13

Lots of pointless answers on The Rise And Fall Of Reginald Perrin,

0:25:130:25:16

Sue Nicholls would have been a great answer. Leslie Schofield as well.

0:25:160:25:19

Pointless answers on The Liver Birds.

0:25:190:25:21

Michael Angelis, famous Liverpudlian actor, was a pointless answer.

0:25:210:25:24

Bill Dean, Jonathan Lynn as well.

0:25:240:25:26

Pointless answers on The Thin Blue Line, you could have had...

0:25:260:25:29

Mina Anwar was a pointless answer on that. Terrific actress.

0:25:290:25:32

The Wrong Mans, pointless answers,

0:25:320:25:34

Stephen Campbell Moore was a pointless answer,

0:25:340:25:36

Dawn French plays James Corden's mum in The Wrong Mans,

0:25:360:25:38

she was a pointless answer. So, very well done if you said of those.

0:25:380:25:41

Let's take a look at the top three scorers.

0:25:410:25:44

Jasper Carrott, 24,

0:25:440:25:45

obviously, was in The Detectives alongside Robert Powell.

0:25:450:25:48

Rowan Atkinson there, 39, Thin Blue Line.

0:25:480:25:50

And Leonard Rossiter, 47, biggest score of all.

0:25:500:25:53

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:25:530:25:54

So, at the end of our second round,

0:25:540:25:56

the pair we've got to say goodbye to with a high score of 147 -

0:25:560:25:59

Leon and Jo, it is you.

0:25:590:26:00

But we'll see you again next time.

0:26:000:26:02

Look forward to that very much. In the meantime, thanks so much, Leon and Jo.

0:26:020:26:05

APPLAUSE

0:26:050:26:06

But for Paula and Leeanne, Alison and George,

0:26:090:26:11

it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:26:110:26:13

Congratulations, Paula and Leeanne, Alison and George,

0:26:180:26:21

you are now one step closer to the final and the chance to play for

0:26:210:26:24

our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,250.

0:26:240:26:28

Well, here we are.

0:26:310:26:33

We've now reached that lovely plateau from which we can start

0:26:330:26:35

playing as teams. You can confer before you give your answers

0:26:350:26:38

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:26:380:26:41

Best of luck to both pairs.

0:26:410:26:42

Let's play the head-to-head.

0:26:420:26:44

And your first question of the head-to-head concerns...

0:26:500:26:52

Commonwealth Capital Cities, Richard.

0:26:540:26:56

We're going to show you five pictures now of capital cities of

0:26:560:26:59

Commonwealth countries. Can you identify the most obscure of these?

0:26:590:27:02

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five pictures, and here they are.

0:27:020:27:06

There we are.

0:27:290:27:31

Five pictures of Commonwealth capital cities.

0:27:310:27:33

Now, Paula and Leeanne, you've been our low scorers so you will go first.

0:27:330:27:37

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:27:370:27:39

We're going to go for B and Kuala Lumpur.

0:27:460:27:49

B, Kuala Lumpur, say Paula and Leeanne.

0:27:490:27:52

Now, Alison and George, those other capitals are all yours.

0:27:520:27:55

-Talk us through them.

-Well, I think the letters tell me Cape Town.

0:27:550:27:59

Yeah, guessing by the letters, I'd say A might be...

0:27:590:28:02

-Islamabad.

-Oh, nice.

0:28:020:28:03

C may be Ottawa.

0:28:030:28:05

D could be Wellington in New Zealand.

0:28:050:28:08

Shall we punt on A, Islamabad?

0:28:080:28:10

Yeah, let's go for it.

0:28:100:28:12

-Why not?

-We'll go for A, Islamabad.

0:28:120:28:14

Islamabad. So, we have Kuala Lumpur and we have Islamabad.

0:28:140:28:17

Now, Paula and Leeanne went for Kuala Lumpur.

0:28:170:28:20

Let's see if that is right for B.

0:28:200:28:21

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Kuala Lumpur.

0:28:210:28:24

It is right.

0:28:260:28:28

63 for Kuala Lumpur.

0:28:300:28:32

APPLAUSE

0:28:320:28:33

Now then, Alison and George have gone for Islamabad.

0:28:350:28:38

If it's right, I suspect it'll be a low score but it has to be right.

0:28:380:28:41

Let's find out. Islamabad.

0:28:410:28:43

How many people said it?

0:28:430:28:44

It is right.

0:28:470:28:48

And it wins you the point. Very well done. By a margin.

0:28:490:28:52

Look at that. Down it...

0:28:520:28:54

APPLAUSE

0:28:540:28:55

6 points for Islamabad.

0:28:570:28:59

Yeah, very nicely played, Alison.

0:29:010:29:03

You knew all the answers apart from C,

0:29:030:29:05

because you said Ottawa and it's actually Ochanoyu,

0:29:050:29:07

which is the capital of...

0:29:070:29:08

LAUGHTER

0:29:080:29:10

It is not. It is, of course, Ottawa.

0:29:120:29:15

You're quite right, the capital of Canada.

0:29:150:29:17

-It's very beautiful.

-Would have scored you 16. Beautiful, isn't it?

0:29:170:29:20

-All of Canada's beautiful, isn't it?

-It is.

0:29:200:29:22

D, you're quite right as well, is Wellington,

0:29:220:29:24

the capital of New Zealand.

0:29:240:29:26

24. And one of the capitals of South Africa, Cape Town,

0:29:260:29:31

and that would have scored you 56.

0:29:310:29:34

So, best answer on the board, Islamabad.

0:29:340:29:36

-Well played.

-Thanks, Richard.

0:29:360:29:38

OK, here comes your second question.

0:29:380:29:40

Paula and Leeanne, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

0:29:400:29:42

But Alison and George will go first, so best of luck.

0:29:420:29:45

It concerns...

0:29:450:29:47

Facts About "Mother".

0:29:480:29:50

Facts About "Mother".

0:29:500:29:51

-This one, or...?

-Yeah.

0:29:510:29:54

Let's find out. Richard.

0:29:540:29:55

We're going to give you five clues now.

0:29:550:29:57

They all concern "mother" in some way,

0:29:570:29:59

the word "mother" or the term "mother".

0:29:590:30:01

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

0:30:010:30:03

Let's reveal our five clues to facts about mother,

0:30:030:30:06

and here they are.

0:30:060:30:07

I'll read those all one last time.

0:30:340:30:36

Alison and George will go first.

0:31:000:31:02

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

0:31:020:31:03

OK, we're going to go for the middle one,

0:31:100:31:12

which is mother of pearl.

0:31:120:31:14

Mother of pearl. The other name for nacre.

0:31:140:31:17

Now then, Paula and Leeanne.

0:31:170:31:19

-Do you want to talk us through the board?

-No!

0:31:190:31:22

We know two.

0:31:220:31:23

Game Of Thrones for the first one

0:31:230:31:26

and Mother Teresa for the second one.

0:31:260:31:29

And we're going to go for the top one, Game Of Thrones.

0:31:290:31:32

Game Of Thrones, say Paula and Leeanne.

0:31:320:31:34

So, we have mother of pearl and we have Game Of Thrones.

0:31:340:31:37

Alison and George went for mother of pearl for nacre.

0:31:370:31:39

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:31:390:31:42

It is right.

0:31:440:31:45

35.

0:31:490:31:50

APPLAUSE

0:31:500:31:51

35 for mother of pearl.

0:31:530:31:54

Good score. Paula and Leeanne have gone for Game Of Thrones for the top one. Daenerys.

0:31:540:31:59

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:31:590:32:02

Is right.

0:32:040:32:06

Has to go below 35, though.

0:32:070:32:09

Oh, which it does, look at that. There we go. 29.

0:32:090:32:11

APPLAUSE

0:32:110:32:12

Great score. Well done, Paula and Leeanne.

0:32:130:32:16

That's exactly what you needed.

0:32:160:32:17

You're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

0:32:170:32:20

And the battle of the mothers is won by Paula as well.

0:32:200:32:23

Well done. You actually chose well there because the other one you knew, Mother Teresa,

0:32:230:32:27

would have scored you 45 points.

0:32:270:32:29

The play Mother Courage is Bertolt Brecht.

0:32:290:32:31

That would have scored you seven. Best answer on the board.

0:32:310:32:34

And the highest score on the board is Old Mother Hubbard,

0:32:340:32:37

who went to fetch her poor doggy a bone.

0:32:370:32:39

77 for that.

0:32:390:32:40

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:32:400:32:42

Here comes your third question.

0:32:420:32:44

This is the decider.

0:32:440:32:45

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

0:32:450:32:47

and plays for that jackpot, so very best of luck to both pairs.

0:32:470:32:50

It concerns...

0:32:500:32:51

Ranks Of The Royal Navy.

0:32:520:32:54

Ranks Of The Royal Navy, Richard.

0:32:550:32:57

We will show you the names now of five ranks of the Royal Navy

0:32:570:32:59

but we've removed alternate letters from each one.

0:32:590:33:02

Can you fill in those gaps? And whichever team gives us the most obscure answer

0:33:020:33:05

is going through to play for that jackpot.

0:33:050:33:07

Very best of luck to everybody.

0:33:070:33:09

OK. Let's reveal our five ranks and here they are.

0:33:090:33:12

We have got...

0:33:130:33:14

I'll read those all again.

0:33:250:33:26

Paula and Leeanne will go first.

0:33:340:33:36

THEY CONFER

0:33:370:33:38

We're going to go for the bottom one.

0:33:400:33:43

-Petty Officer.

-Petty Officer, say Paula and Leeanne.

0:33:430:33:46

Now, Alison and George, do you want to go through the rest of the board?

0:33:460:33:49

I'm not sure about the second one.

0:33:490:33:51

Maybe like Able Rate.

0:33:510:33:53

Third one I think is Midshipman and the fourth one is Leading Hand.

0:33:530:33:59

-Oh!

-I think we should go for Leading Hand.

0:33:590:34:01

I think we should go for that one.

0:34:010:34:02

Let's go for the second bottom one, Leading Hand.

0:34:020:34:04

Leading Hand, so we're going to have Petty Officer and then Leading Hand.

0:34:040:34:08

Now then, Paula and Leeanne went for Petty Officer.

0:34:080:34:10

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Petty Officer.

0:34:100:34:13

It's right.

0:34:160:34:17

Oh, 76.

0:34:170:34:18

APPLAUSE

0:34:180:34:20

76 for Petty Officer.

0:34:200:34:22

Alison and George, meanwhile, have gone for Leading Hand.

0:34:240:34:26

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Leading Hand.

0:34:260:34:29

It's right, Leading Hand, and not surprisingly,

0:34:310:34:35

that goes down past 76.

0:34:350:34:37

Leading Hand is a very low score of 16.

0:34:370:34:40

APPLAUSE Very well done.

0:34:400:34:41

That means Alison and George, after three questions,

0:34:410:34:43

you're through to the final, 2-1.

0:34:430:34:46

Very well played there, Alison, terrific work.

0:34:460:34:48

Commander at the top there

0:34:480:34:51

would have scored you 90 points, it's a big scorer.

0:34:510:34:55

Alison, I think you had a guess for this second one.

0:34:550:34:57

I thought it might be Able Rate.

0:34:570:34:59

Absolutely right, it is Able Rate.

0:34:590:35:02

And it's the best answer on the board, 5 points,

0:35:020:35:04

and Midshipman would have scored you 62 points.

0:35:040:35:06

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:35:060:35:08

So the pair are leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:080:35:11

Paula and Leeanne, I'm afraid it is you.

0:35:110:35:13

There is a great consolation, though, for us,

0:35:130:35:15

which is we get to see you again next time.

0:35:150:35:17

Look forward to that very much indeed but in the meantime, thank you so much,

0:35:170:35:20

Paula and Leaenne, really brilliant show you've had today.

0:35:200:35:22

Well done.

0:35:220:35:24

But for Alison and George, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:240:35:27

Congratulations, Alison and George,

0:35:320:35:33

you've seen off all the competition

0:35:330:35:35

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:350:35:38

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

0:35:440:35:46

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £3,250.

0:35:460:35:50

-AUDIENCE:

-Whoo!

0:35:500:35:51

Wow, just brilliant.

0:35:530:35:56

Is there anything you particularly would like to see

0:35:560:35:58

in this last round?

0:35:580:36:00

Transport, music possibly.

0:36:000:36:02

-Music, transport.

-Sport, if it was the right sport.

0:36:020:36:05

Well, as always, we'll put four things up on the board.

0:36:050:36:07

We just have to hope there's something there

0:36:070:36:09

you feel comfortable with.

0:36:090:36:11

Our four are...

0:36:110:36:12

I guess Spain might be a bit random.

0:36:210:36:23

-Yeah.

-It would be a bit of chance.

0:36:230:36:25

I don't know that many Scandinavian pop groups.

0:36:250:36:28

-Spain?

-Spain.

-Yeah?

0:36:280:36:30

-Spain.

-OK, Spain it is.

0:36:300:36:31

-Spain.

-OK, very best of luck.

0:36:310:36:33

We're looking for any of the three following things.

0:36:330:36:35

We're looking for the name and regnal number of any king or queen of Spain

0:36:350:36:38

since 1516, please,

0:36:380:36:40

anyone that's been the reigning monarch since 1516.

0:36:400:36:44

The names of any of the 20 La Liga Primera football teams in the 2015/2016 season,

0:36:440:36:49

or the capitals of any of Spain's 17 autonomous communities, please.

0:36:490:36:54

So, kings and queens of Spain, the reigning monarchs since 1516,

0:36:540:36:57

La Liga Primera football teams 2015/16,

0:36:570:37:00

and the capitals of the 17 Spanish autonomous communities.

0:37:000:37:03

Very, very best of luck.

0:37:030:37:05

Yeah, very, very best of luck.

0:37:050:37:06

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:37:060:37:09

and all you need to win that jackpot is to find just one pointless answer

0:37:090:37:12

among those three. Are you ready?

0:37:120:37:14

-Yes.

-Excellent.

0:37:140:37:16

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:37:160:37:17

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:37:170:37:20

OK, what are you thinking? Do you know any kings and queens?

0:37:200:37:22

No. Maybe Philip II.

0:37:220:37:24

That doesn't sound Spanish.

0:37:240:37:26

-No.

-La Liga Primera football teams, is that the first league?

0:37:260:37:29

Yeah. It's like Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid.

0:37:290:37:31

Mallorca? Is it just Mallorca?

0:37:310:37:33

Malaga? Is that in Spain?

0:37:330:37:34

Malaga is in Spain but I don't know if they've got a football team.

0:37:340:37:37

-OK, I think so.

-I'm not the one who used to work in a sports bar.

0:37:370:37:40

Capitals of Spanish autonomous communities, do you know any of them?

0:37:400:37:43

None at all. Let's concentrate on the football.

0:37:430:37:46

OK, so we're going to go with football. Oh, gosh! This is tough.

0:37:460:37:48

Let's just think of places in Spain.

0:37:480:37:50

OK. There's definitely a team in Mallorca but I don't know if it's a premier...

0:37:500:37:54

-Or a pointless answer.

-Or a pointless answer.

0:37:540:37:56

We've got 24 seconds.

0:37:560:37:57

-Almeria? Has that got a team?

-Yeah, take that.

0:37:570:38:00

-Keep going.

-Is it Atletico Madrid?

0:38:000:38:03

-Real Madrid...

-Yeah.

0:38:030:38:04

Where else is in Spain? Barcelona.

0:38:040:38:07

-Let's go Malaga...

-Those are pretty obvious.

0:38:070:38:09

-Ten seconds.

-And...

0:38:090:38:11

Do they sound good to you?

0:38:120:38:13

-Malaga, Mallorca...

-They sound great but have they got anything else tacked on?

0:38:130:38:17

OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid.

0:38:190:38:21

What are your three answers going to be?

0:38:210:38:23

For the king, King Philip II.

0:38:230:38:25

Philip II.

0:38:250:38:27

And then for the premiers, is it Real Ma-yorca, Ma-lorca,

0:38:270:38:31

-whatever?

-OK, Real Mallorca, you would like to say.

0:38:310:38:34

-Malaga.

-And Malaga.

0:38:340:38:36

Real Mallorca, Malaga and Philip II.

0:38:360:38:40

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:400:38:44

Real Mallorca.

0:38:440:38:45

We'll put that one last. Least likely to be pointless?

0:38:450:38:48

Whatever I said last. Malaga.

0:38:480:38:49

Malaga, and then Philip II, we'll put him in the middle.

0:38:490:38:52

And here they are.

0:38:520:38:53

Malaga, Philip II and Real Mallorca.

0:38:540:38:58

They look good written up like that, don't they?

0:38:580:39:01

Very good, solid answers there!

0:39:010:39:03

Well, very best of luck.

0:39:030:39:05

In the first instance, we were looking for

0:39:050:39:07

La Liga Primera football teams

0:39:070:39:09

from the 15/16 series and you went for Malaga.

0:39:090:39:13

Let us see if that is correct,

0:39:130:39:15

then let's see if it's pointless.

0:39:150:39:17

Best of luck, Malaga.

0:39:170:39:19

Oh, it's right! It's right!

0:39:210:39:23

Forget about whether it's pointless, it's right!

0:39:250:39:28

Down it goes. If this goes all the way to zero, you leave with £3,250.

0:39:280:39:31

Down into single figures.

0:39:310:39:33

Still going down. 4! 4 for Malaga.

0:39:330:39:36

APPLAUSE

0:39:360:39:37

I forgot to ask, if you happen to win the jackpot,

0:39:420:39:45

and there is, you know,

0:39:450:39:46

two more good answers on the board, what would you do with your spoils?

0:39:460:39:51

I've got quite into football this season.

0:39:510:39:53

I've been watching my local team, Cambridge United,

0:39:530:39:55

so I would quite like to maybe do a match ball sponsorship or a season ticket or something there.

0:39:550:40:00

-I think that would be nice.

-Very nice indeed, yeah.

0:40:000:40:02

-George, how about you?

-I would like to take all the ladies in my life

0:40:020:40:06

out for a day, so my mum, my sister and my girlfriend heading

0:40:060:40:08

out somewhere nice, and also I've got my eye on a really nice new drill.

0:40:080:40:11

I want a new drill for work, so...

0:40:110:40:13

Oh, that's good.

0:40:130:40:15

Quite a big one that I want.

0:40:150:40:16

Don't get it anywhere near the pipe!

0:40:160:40:18

That's all I'm saying.

0:40:180:40:20

That's how you do it, isn't it?

0:40:200:40:22

Now, two more chances to win today's jackpot.

0:40:220:40:24

Your next answer was Philip II.

0:40:240:40:26

In this case, we were looking for kings and queens of Spain since 1516.

0:40:260:40:30

Let's see if Philip II is right.

0:40:300:40:32

Let's see how many people said it.

0:40:320:40:34

If it's pointless, it will win you £3,250.

0:40:340:40:36

Oh, look at that! Again, absolutely right.

0:40:380:40:41

Well, Malaga took us all the way down to 4.

0:40:410:40:44

Philip II now taking us down through the 30s, down through the 20s,

0:40:440:40:47

into the teens.

0:40:470:40:49

Oh, 12.

0:40:490:40:50

12 for Philip II.

0:40:500:40:51

APPLAUSE

0:40:510:40:52

So, again, I'm afraid not a pointless answer,

0:40:540:40:57

which means you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

0:40:570:41:00

Your third and final answer was Real Mallorca, and you put this last

0:41:000:41:04

as your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

0:41:040:41:06

Let's find out if it's right, then let's find out if it's pointless.

0:41:060:41:10

If it's both of those things, you leave here with £3,250.

0:41:100:41:13

How many people said Real Mallorca?

0:41:130:41:15

Oh, no!

0:41:180:41:20

I'm sorry.

0:41:200:41:21

APPLAUSE

0:41:210:41:22

Well, two out of three ain't bad.

0:41:260:41:29

Malaga, that gave us a run for our money, didn't it?

0:41:290:41:32

-Yeah.

-Fantastic, right down to 4,

0:41:320:41:34

but I'm afraid you don't win that jackpot of £3,250.

0:41:340:41:37

That will roll over onto the next show,

0:41:370:41:39

but you have been such good value,

0:41:390:41:40

right the way across the show.

0:41:400:41:42

I'm sorry we won't see you next time but you get to take home a Pointless trophy each as well,

0:41:420:41:45

-so very well done.

-Thank you.

0:41:450:41:47

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:470:41:49

Yeah, been an absolute pleasure having you on and what a lovely relationship you have as well.

0:41:520:41:56

Philip II, I had a tactic here, so Philip II is the one we've heard of,

0:41:560:41:59

so I went for Philip III, Philip IV and Philip V, because, come on.

0:41:590:42:04

And they all scored one point.

0:42:040:42:05

Oh! Imagine if I'd been on.

0:42:050:42:08

I'd have been furious.

0:42:080:42:09

Would have been exciting, though, right?

0:42:090:42:11

But we'll look at the pointless answers for kings and queens first.

0:42:110:42:14

You also could have had Carlos IV, the first three Carloses were not pointless,

0:42:210:42:25

Ferdinand VI and Ferdinand VII, all of those were pointless.

0:42:250:42:27

Those were all the pointless answers there.

0:42:270:42:30

La Liga Primera football teams.

0:42:300:42:32

You could have also had Rayo Vallecano.

0:42:370:42:39

Mallorca are in the second tier of Spanish football,

0:42:390:42:42

just called Mallorca, really.

0:42:420:42:44

And the final one,

0:42:440:42:46

these were the capitals of the autonomous regions.

0:42:460:42:49

Also could have had Logrono, Merida and Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

0:42:540:42:57

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

0:42:570:42:59

and thank you so much for entertaining us so royally today.

0:42:590:43:02

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:43:020:43:04

Well, sadly, Alison and George didn't win our jackpot today,

0:43:040:43:07

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

0:43:070:43:09

when we will be playing for £4,250.

0:43:090:43:11

APPLAUSE

0:43:110:43:13

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

0:43:130:43:15

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

0:43:150:43:16

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:160:43:19

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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